Chapter Text
Parents
Kevin had grown used to walking across the street and pressing the doorbell to the Vincent residence by now. It had grown into such a pleasant routine to meet with Edd and take a drive on their Honda.
What he surely hadn't grown used to, as it had never happened before, was the door flying open as soon as his finger reached the bell to reveal a middle-aged slender woman.
"Oh, Kevin dear, it's so nice to see you!"
He was quickly pulled into the house and greeted with a kiss blown past each cheek.
"Please come in. Why don't you join us for a cup of tea? And maybe dinner?"
Kevin could only stare as she continued talking. Edd's mother usually wasn't all that interested in any of the people living in the cul-de-sac. Had he ever heard her talk this much before? No. And he'd never really been this close either. Usually, she wasn't even home.
She didn't smell like Edd at all, a heavy floral scent wafted off her. But she did kind of look a lot like her son, slender and elegant, a similar bone structure, black hair, but the red lipstick and her dark brown eyes, not quite as round as her son's ones, gave her an entirely different feel. Kind of intense.
"How is school going? Are your grades good? I sure hope you're not neglecting your studies due to Football training and spending time with Edward."
Kevin had yet to get out a single word as unusually heavy steps flew down the staircase. The woman in front of him seemed just as shocked to see her son run down the stairs, his clothes hastily pulled on for once.
"Edward! No running in the house!"
But Edd rushed past, grabbed his shoes and pulled Kevin along and out of the house, throwing the door shut behind them.
"Edd, what the heck?!"
"Start the Honda, please!"
Kevin was pretty much pushed across the street and, confused as he was, simply followed the instructions.
Edd's mother had opened the door back up, but she apparently didn't dare to step outside in her slippers. Instead, she pushed her hands into her hips and yelled.
"Edward! We will talk about this later!"
Edd basically pushed the helmet onto Kevin's head and urged him to start the bike. They hurried off, Edd's mother watching after them with crossed arms.
---
Kevin drove to the closest parking lot by the creek, one he knew would be empty. He could hardly enjoy driving when question over question burned on his tongue. He also felt Edd behind his back, clutching him stiffly.
As soon as they halted, Edd jumped off and trudged away. His right hand nervously clutched his left arm as he turned around to Kevin, who was still getting off the bike.
"Ok... so what the hell happened there?"
Edd gnawed at his bottom lip before he spoke up.
"Mother figured out that we are dating..."
Well, that did explain her sudden interest. Kevin rubbed his neck nervously as he continued listening.
"She's been asking me about being interested in anyone ever since I came out to her and Father. As if I can't come to the realization of being bisexual without dating... She always has to comment on us hanging out and... and yesterday I worked late to finish that Chemistry project and she asked if I'd meet up with my boyfriend today and it just slipped out and..."
"Hey, it's ok. I mean... we did plan to tell our parents at some point right?"
Kevin walked from the bike towards his stressed boyfriend and carefully grabbed his shoulders, giving them a hopefully comforting squeeze.
"Yes, but... it's none of her business..."
Kevin cocked his head in confusion. He had never in all the years they grew up together heard the other talk like that about his mother. Edd was weirdly protective of his parents when any other teen would usually complain about rules and chores.
"I don't really get it, Edd..."
Edd shuffled a bit and again squeezed his arm.
"As soon as it was out that we are dating, she kept asking about our grades and whether I still spend enough time studying and... she doesn't like the Honda..."
"Oh..."
Their eyes slowly drifted back to the bike before their gazes met.
"Well, I don't really look like the studious type..."
Edd shook his head. A silent moment passed before he continued.
"They always work. I clean the house, I cook for us quite often, my grades are impeccable, I even stayed alone last Fall and... they still don't trust me to make my own decisions... When will they understand that I'm not a child anymore?"
Edd was staring at him, clearly frustrated. Apparently, there were times Edd didn't have answers either. Kevin looked into his worried eyes.
"I'm sure she knows that. They both do. She's just worried about you."
And all of a sudden, Edd didn't look frustrated anymore. He looked sad. And disappointed. Kevin knew that look. He looked like that whenever he thought he had done something wrong or mean.
"I know... I..." Edd mumbled while pulling at his hat, casting a dark shadow over his eyes.
Kevin pulled the beanie back until he could see the boy's raised eyebrows. Edd glanced at him with glossy eyes.
"You love her, don't you?"
Edd nodded, tears close to spilling off the corners of his eyes.
"It's ok to let off steam once in a while, you know. You didn't even curse or anything. Not like I can speak from experience, but that all sounds like typical Mom-son stuff to me."
He pulled Edd over and they sat down on a bench at the corner of the parking lot.
"I'm sorry, Kevin. I don't feel quite like myself today. It's inconsiderate to complain about Mother in front of you. I'm terribly sorry about that."
"Nah. It's fine." Kevin answered pulling the other against his side. And he meant it. "It's pretty chill with only Dad and me. I can't complain. I have no idea how he'd react about us, though. It's..." he shifted a bit, glancing at Edd who looked at him attentively. He took one of his slender hands and cradled them in his own ones as he continued. "It's kinda scary to think he... you know... might get angry. Or disappointed. Like, I doubt that would be the case. But... what if?"
Kevin expected some great comforting speech about everything going well. But Edd only gaped at him.
"You didn't tell him yet?"
"No way. I would have told you..." Kevin stopped as he noticed Edd growing red. "Edd...?"
"I... um..." Edd shifted in his seat, clearly nervous. "I'm pretty sure he knows..."
"What?! Did you tell him?!"
Kevin's chest felt tight. His dad knew...?
"No, no, no, no!" Edd nervously shook his head. "He has... um... gone out of his way to ensure I feel welcome at your house lately. But he appears to be a bit nervous around me. I assumed you two had talked about us."
It was Kevin's turn to feel insecure. Awkward even. How should he even go about all of this?
"We don't really talk about stuff like that."
He sighed and Edd hesitantly squeezed his hand.
"You should. I'm positive it'll be fine."
Kevin leaned into Edd's lighter frame and watched the sun slowly sink below the tree tops as he pondered about his dad. Edd sighed softly, probably thinking about his mother.
Kevin felt a bit like going for a run, like getting his mind off of his worries. Instead, he closed his eyes and focused on the warmth of the body next to him. On Edd's fingers, that nervously squeezed his hand. Together they pondered on how to talk to each of their parents.
---
Kevin glanced at his old man while he took the dishes from the dining table to put them into the dish washer. His dad had gotten them takeout, as he often did, and Kevin usually took care of the few dishes afterwards.
His old man was already leaning into their fridge to pick up a beer for himself. Bottle in hand, he made his way to his armchair and dropped down with a grunt. Done with the dish washer, Kevin followed and flopped onto the couch.
"Anything you wanna watch this evening, sport?"
Even if he wanted to watch anything specific, Kevin doubted he'd be able to focus on any kind of movie today.
"Nah, the remote is all yours."
His Dad chuckled before he put on an old Western movie. Kevin followed the plot halfheartedly, but the old man seemed engrossed in the Italo Western playing on the big screen. It'd be bad to bring up Edd now...
He felt his knee shake nervously and clutched it tightly.
His Dad was chill. Yeah. But even so, the mostly stoic face looking at him in disappointment played again and again inside his head.
They only had each other. He couldn't let anything ruin this.
It'll be fine.
Edd's voice slowly but surely drowned out the picture in his head.
A commercial break started, interrupting the movie for an ad for insurances. Kevin's heart thumped angrily. His mouth fell open.
"Dad, Edd and I... we... we are, um... dating..."
If there was an answer, he'd probably have a hard time hearing it over the drumming in his ears. So he nervously glanced over.
His Dad had fallen asleep sometime during the movie, his head was thrown back against the headrest. While his mouth hung open, his eyes were clearly shut.
---
The Eds were on their way to school when Edd spotted Kevin on his bicycle. Ignoring Eddy's groaning, he waved his boyfriend over.
"Hey!" Kevin greeted as he settled in a slow pace next to him and Edd sent a big smile back.
"Greetings, Kevin."
Eddy pretended to gag, and Edd noticed Kevin's nostrils flare, so he slowed down until he and the redhead were a few feet behind his friends.
He took in the sportsman, still growing nervous as he did so. Kevin was looking fine. So he could only guess that things had gone well.
"Did you succeed in talking to your father?" He tried carefully.
Kevin immediately startled. For a moment Edd worried he'd lose his balance, but the other quickly recovered.
"I... um... I tried but I didn't know what to say and took too long to think of something and... he kinda fell asleep on me." Kevin let out with a groan. "It's so hard..."
Edd tried to give him an encouraging smile.
"I'm sure you will manage to talk to him in due time."
Kevin smiled back. Edd noticed more and more smiles sent his way over smirks lately. He liked that and felt his cheeks flush a bit.
"Thanks, man. What about you?"
It was Edd's turn to startle.
"Well, um..." he shifted awkwardly. "I didn't really get to speak. She was out of herself because I acted up. I got additional chores to do after school..."
Kevin stared at him in disbelieve.
"I... I can hardly imagine your mom yelling at you. That's... geez."
"Oh, she had a lot to yell about whenever Ed and Eddy broke something in the house."
Kevin could immediately see the woman berating the Eds in front of his eyes and chuckled. They continued in silence for a while and Edd started to ponder.
"Kevin, would it be fine for me to visit this evening?"
The addressed boy blinked at him.
"Yeah, sure. Always." He answered with a smile and Edd smiled back.
They reached the street Kevin would usually take as a sign to ride ahead, the one where more and more students would cross their path to school. He didn't motion to do so this time, though, so Edd went ahead.
"See you this evening, Kevin. Have a good day at school."
The redhead seemed a bit hesitant but finally squeezed his arm and steered onto the street.
"You, too, Edd. See ya!"
He flipped off Eddy, who again pretended to gag, and drove off. Ed pulled his shorter friend into a headlock and held him until Edd had caught up to them.
---
It was 7pm by the time Edd appeared on the Barr's doorstep that evening. Kevin opened the door with a grin, excited to see his boyfriend one more time that day and quickly invited him inside.
"Let's go upstairs!" He said before heading into his room's direction.
Edd didn't move, though. So Kevin halted in his steps and looked back. The other was staring towards the kitchen, where Kevin's father was rummaging around, looking for something to snack on while watching tv. His hands were fumbling, fingers tangling nervously.
Edd took a deep breath and finally returned Kevin's gaze, eyes soft as a gentle smile formed on his lips and a blush on his cheeks. His fingers stilled, then he held out his hand. Towards Kevin.
Kevin was stunned for a moment. The clattering in the kitchen filled his ears, way louder than cupboards being opened and closed had any right to do. Then, suddenly, it fell silent and instead heavy footsteps sounded.
"It's your choice." Edd softly said.
Kevin reached out, taking Edd's hand into his. It was always so soft and warm. Comforting. But he felt his own hand tremble as the footsteps grew closer. Edd squeezed his hand gently.
Kevin looked up to find his dad next to them at the entrance to their kitchen, a bag of crackers in his hand. His eyes were unusually wide. He looked down at the hand his son had entangled with the boy from across the street.
Kevin held on tightly.
His father let out a relieved sigh and the man's shoulders dropped down the slightest bit. His mustache moved as a smile grew under it.
---
It was downright bizarre for Kevin.
He watched silently as Edd handed the empty bowl to his dad that had held crackers earlier. They had eaten them together while watching Casablanca. His Dad took the bowl with a smile and seemed to chat with Edd about the movie while he put it away into the dishwasher. They were both smiling, even though it was always hard to make out on his dad’s expression.
"I should probably head home, but thank you very much for inviting me to your family evening." Edd spoke politely. "It was delightful."
The old Barr looked taken aback.
"No need for formalities, Edward. You can come over anytime. Greet you parents from me, will ya?"
"Most certainly. Have a pleasant night, Mr Barr."
"Please, call me Richard. Or Rick?"
Kevin was starting to feel too awkward to keep on watching and pushed between them, pulling Edd along towards the door. The slender boy seemed embarrassed but didn't say anything and let himself be shoved away. They halted in front of the door, both flushing as their eyes met.
They had been sitting next to each other during the movie, their fingers occasionally brushing, but they had been too nervous to actually hold hands or cuddle in front of his dad and Kevin started to regret that. He reached over for Edd's hand and squeezed it. The other squeezed back and for a moment Kevin just looked at the small smile on his lips.
"Thank you." Kevin finally said.
Edd seemed embarrassed, he looked away but continued to smile.
"I didn't do anything."
That obviously wasn't true, but this was no place to argue, so Kevin just scoffed. It didn't feel as scary as usual to hear his dad’s footsteps behind them. So Kevin leaned forward and gave his boyfriend a quick goodnight kiss. Edd looked surprised and flushed, but his smile grew a little bit wider as well.
"Night, Edd."
"Sleep well." He answered, still smiling as he trotted out of the door.
Kevin watched him walk across the street. Edd gave him a little wave before he disappeared into the house. Kevin followed his example, feeling a little bit more anxious now that the other was gone. Still, he walked back into the kitchen. His Dad looked at him as he stepped into the room.
"Hey, Dad..." he took his cap off, tracing the stitching with his fingers. "It's kind of awkward between Edd and his mom since she found out about us. She's not really fond of me... I guess." He could see the older Barr's bushy eyebrows rise. "Any advice?"
The man's eyebrows stayed up, then he burst out in a deep chuckle.
"Is it the bike?"
Kevin rolled his eyes.
"Dunno. Maybe. Maybe it's Edd spending time not learning for school..."
The chuckle grew softer and finally only the raised mustache showed that the older man was still amused.
"She doesn't know you too well. She's just worried."
"Yeah..."
"It's always awkward to meet you girlfr-... um, partner's parents, but it shows you're serious."
Kevin stared down at his hat again.
"So I should go over and give them a chance to get to know me...?"
"Might help. It's worth a try."
Kevin hesitated before continuing.
"Edd is actually kind of angry at his parents about all of this. He says that they don't trust him. That they treat him like a child."
A deep hum filled the kitchen.
"Maybe they need to get to know both of you better?" The man seemed to notice Kevin's confusion. "You're growing up. Rather fast, actually. It's easy to miss when you're old like us. It takes time sometimes."
The older redhead walked past him, ending the conversation but not without ruffling his son's hair.
"Dad!"
Kevin quickly put his hat back on. His Dad seemed to head to the bathroom. He'd probably go to sleep soon. The jock leaned back against the kitchen counter, letting his mind drift over what his old man had said while he glanced across the street.
The light in Edd's room was already shining through the curtains, while the rooms downstairs were dark. He couldn't have spent any time talking to his parents. Then again, maybe they had gone to bed already by the time Edd left.
Growing up, Kevin had always assumed that Edd's parents adored him, with his proper etiquette and the perfect grades. It always seemed so effortless. Kevin hadn't really understood just how much work Edd put into pleasing them until they had grown closer last fall.
Edd cared a lot. He cared about the Eds, the other kids, about him, luckily, and he cared about his parents. Very much so. Kevin would never forgive himself if he ended up tearing a fissure into that caring attitude.
---
And so Kevin Barr stood at the Vincents' doorstep the next Saturday evening, in clothes he only owned to wear to church when visiting his Grandma for Christmas, making him feel hot and sticky.
He glanced at the still empty driveway and took a deep breath.
The door flew open as soon as he as much as touched the door bell, revealing a very nervous Edward. The boy's eyes immediately glanced across the street towards the Barrs' garage, but Kevin swiftly pressed a kiss onto his cheek before pulling the door shut behind them. There'd be no running this evening.
"Ok, so what did you plan?"
Edd shuffled and glanced up at him nervously.
"I thought about a vegetable lasagna. It's a lot of work but... since you're helping..."
Kevin smiled at him.
"So, what can I do to help?"
"I thought you could wash the vegetables and then watch the sauce and while I am busy cutting them?"
"So I just stir?"
Edd nodded, his lips still pressed into a thin line.
"Rad, sounds easy enough!"
It was kinda weird to lead Edd into his own kitchen, but Kevin kind of liked it. He also liked the way Edd looked with his apron tied around his waist. Nothing frilly, obviously, a simple beige one that made him look like he knew what he was doing. And he clearly did, cutting the vegetables away in a tempo that made Kevin's stomach turn. Those knives looked sharp, not like the mostly unused ones in the Barr household.
It took quite a while until they were done, but he didn't mind, especially not when he could spend the time watching Edd, talking about the day or their friends. Kevin barely ever cooked, but he found himself enjoying keeping his hands busy as well.
Finally, the lasagna was prepared and set down into the oven where it would cook until Edd's parents would come home from the college they both worked at. Edd didn't lose any time to swiftly clean the kitchen after their cooking session, putting away the cutting board, knives and empty dishes, before joining Kevin at the kitchen table.
The slender boy didn't stop fidgeting, pushing around the vase that was already placed perfectly in the middle of the table. Usually, they would go watch a movie on Edd's laptop now or maybe even go learn for school. Usually, they weren't about to have dinner with Edd's parents.
Kevin scooted over towards the other boy and pulled him against his side. Edd quickly obliged, turning in his chair towards him and Kevin felt his restless hands curl into the hem of his sweater.
They held each other close like this until Edd's voice sounded softly.
"Aren't you nervous?"
Kevin chuckled against him.
"I'm basically dying inside."
Kevin was rather well liked in school. And he usually didn't care about those that didn't like him. But Edd's mother, maybe even more so his father, not liking him, kind of terrified him. Sure, Edd had shown he'd be fine with hanging out despite that, but that didn't feel right. Not anymore.
Edd let go of his shirt and pulled his arms around him instead, nuzzling further into him and holding tight. Kevin leaned in as well, pressing his face into Edd's puffy cheek.
Before they knew it, the sound of a parking car reached them from the front of the house. Edd jerked back, flushed and eyes as wide as saucers and stared at him. Kevin gave him a lopsided smile and squeezed his hand.
Edd continued to look at him as the engine died down. He squeezed back, took a deep breath and got up, freeing his clothing of wrinkles as he made his way to the entrance.
"Welcome home, Mother, Father. You are early. Did you have a pleasant day?" Edd greeted, in a well practiced manner, but it still sounded very genuine to Kevin as he peeked into the entrance way.
Edd's mother was quick to put her coat away and step out of her heels and into a pair of slippers, then hurried over to her son.
"Your father was so excited to come home, we left a bit early." She explained and peppered her son's face in kisses.
Kevin was perplexed to notice the woman shove her son's beanie off his forehead. Edd just accepted the treatment, though he looked rather displeased.
Kevin's attention was quickly torn away from the display as he noticed Edd's father had silently made his way into the house and was reaching out to shake his hand. He quickly braced himself and took it in a hopefully sturdy grip.
"Good evening, Kevin. We are most certainly pleased you could make it today."
Kevin felt himself grow nervous but forced a smile.
"Of course, thanks for having me."
The man's eyes crinkled a little under his glasses.
"Technically speaking Edward invited us both, didn't he? Therefore, there is no need for any gratitude."
"I..."
Kevin felt sweat starting to form on his forehead. Was that a joke? Thankfully, Edd's mother saved him, greeting him by blowing kisses past both of his cheeks, just as she had done the last time they had talked, leaving the boy flustered. Edd sent him an apologetic face before heading into the kitchen, his parents following. Kevin couldn't help but move as well with the way Edd's mother was now holding his arm.
"Dear, it smells amazing. What did you make?" The woman asked, smiling at her son.
"A vegetable lasagna. I didn't expect you home this early. It is not quite done yet."
"Oh, you shouldn't have made yourself so much work..."
"It's fine." Edd glanced back, eyeing the way Kevin was pulled along by his arm as they sat down at the kitchen table, then he smiled, though he looked a bit nervous. "Kevin helped me with everything."
"How nice!"
Kevin felt his face grow warm. Edd was still smiling at him, but as his cheeks grew flushed as well, he looked down and turned towards the oven.
"So, Kevin, how is school?"
He could basically see Edd jerk at the question and had to smile a bit before he looked at Edd's mother to answer.
"It's fun." Edd glanced at him, clearly surprised. And Kevin couldn't quite blame him, he was kind of surprised he was being truthful. "Edd kinda rubbed off on me." After the woman shot him a smile that looked a little bit confused, he quickly added. "We didn't share any classes this year, but we talked about school while working on the bike. He motivated me to take my classes more serious and gave me tips on learning efficiently."
Kevin did feel embarrassed about admitting all of that, but Edd's mother seemed happy. Very happy. She clapped her hands together.
"That's wonderful!"
Edd was still hiding away at the oven but Kevin could easily make out the red tips of his ears. This wasn't nearly as bad as he had expected. At least he and Edd's mother had an obvious topic to talk about. And flustering Edd was always fun.
"Edd is a great tutor. The whole cul-de-sac calls him if they need help. We all learned here together before spring break"
"Why didn't you tell us, Edward. This sounds delightful. I hope Edward was a welcoming host."
Edd turned around, staring at them in disbelieve. Kevin felt his heartbeat speed up at that look, but not in a bad way.
"Of course! He even made us cookies. They were amazing!"
Edd pulled his beanie over his head until the timer beeped and he was able to busy himself with the steaming lasagna.
They ate, Kevin exchanging stories of praise about Edd with the boy's mother. His father stayed mostly silent, but listened attentively, nodding along the many praises of his son, who silently listened as well, his face beet red all throughout the dinner.
By the end of it they knew about the bike and how they had built it together, clearly increasing the older Vincents' opinion of the vehicle. They knew about the drives and about Kevin teaching their son about Football.
They hopefully knew that Kevin cared a lot about Edd.
---
Edd was more than happy that his mother had offered to put away the dishes after their dinner. It gave him a moment to breath. And to be alone with Kevin before he'd leave for the evening.
Edd still felt his cheeks burn after all the embarrassing topics. Kevin seemed chipper, though.
"Well, I'm glad you had your fun..." he finally let out, crossing his arms.
Kevin had slipped on his sneakers and turned back to him with a big grin.
"Someone has to tell your mom what you're up to, you know."
Edd wanted to protest, but Kevin leaned in for a kiss and the complaints turned into a soft rumbling in his throat.
"This wasn't nearly as bad as we thought, was it?" The redhead stated, still clearly pleased.
Edd's cheeks still felt hot and the other boy's close proximity didn't help. He had the dull feeling he'd have to get used to that. Both the proximity and to Kevin talking to his mother. And still, he couldn't help but to agree. The evening had been far from a disaster. He glanced at Kevin and nodded.
Another grin, another peck on his lips and Kevin was jogging across the street, apparently still with energy to spare. Edd watched him disappear into his house with a last small wave.
He waited a moment at the open door, the cool summer night air cooling his burning cheeks.
He still felt kind of nervous about facing his parents now that Kevin had gone home, but he managed to close the door and stepped back inside. His mother was still busy in the kitchen. Maybe she could use some assistance. He was about to step inside when his name sounded from the living room.
"Edward?"
He peaked inside and found his father sitting in his armchair. He laid down the book he had been reading and gestured for his son to take a seat.
Edd did. He made sure to sit straight before he looked at his father.
"Kevin appears to be a very charming young man."
Edd immediately felt more heat rushing into his already flushed cheeks.
"I understand that your mother’s questions must have strained your nerves over the last weeks. We want you to know that we neither disapprove of you having a partner, nor do we disapprove of your choice in dating Kevin. These are your choices to make." After noticing his son's doubtful gaze, he quickly added "Yes, even your mother."
Edd stared into his father's teal eyes. It was a seldom phenomenon for his father to speak quite this much about something that wasn’t his field of study. It sounded nice what the man told him, but he couldn't shake the unease from himself at his father's serious gaze.
"We are only worried about you. Not about you making the wrong choices, but about you getting hurt. Some decisions are very painful to make. Especially if relationships and career do not cooperate. Your mother and I were very fortunate to have met each other as scholars in the same field. And we are very fortunate that we are both able to focus on our studies despite having founded a family. If you weren't so responsible, we would not be able to do that. We wouldn't be having this conversation if I weren't confident in your maturity."
Edd felt his heart beat nervously in his chest. He knew that. All of it. He stared down, realizing his hands were once again awkwardly tangling into each other.
"We have only been dating for 2 months." Was the only thing he managed to say.
His father leaned over and gently squeezed his shoulder. After a minute the man picked his book back up but Edd could see him glance his way occasionally.
"I think I'll head to bed. I'm rather tired already." He said after a few minutes had passed and stood up.
His father nodded.
"Goodnight, Edward."
"Goodnight."
His eyes did feel heavy. He went to the kitchen to also wish his mother a good night's sleep, briefly noting to himself that she was taking rather long to put away dishes.
The kitchen was empty and Edd found her in the hallway instead, staring at the pictures hung up on the wall.
"Oh, Edward! Are you heading to bed already?"
"Yes. I fear I'm rather tired."
"Of course." She said, turning towards him. "It must have been a long day for you, but I'm happy we could have such a nice conversation together with Kevin."
Edd felt the embarrassment creep up again. He looked at the picture his mother had been staring at. One of their family from the time they had just moved to the cul-de-sac. He had a big smile on that picture, carelessly presenting the gap between his front teeth to the world, though it didn't stand out quite as much with the other missing teeth accompanying it.
"Sometimes it feels as if I read you a bedtime story and rubbed your feet just yesterday." She sighed. "And now you have a boyfriend. Oh my..."
She continued to stare at the picture as Edd shuffled nervously.
"Have a good night." He finally said.
Before he could head upstairs, she turned towards him.
"Edward..."
Edd stopped and looked back to find her with a concerned look on her face.
"Obviously neither of you can get pregnant, but I still expect you to use appropriate protection once you become sexually active."
Edd felt his face grow hot at the blunt demand. He stared in disbelief before he pulled his beanie over his face yet again, this time with a groan. Unable to say anything, he made his way up the stairs.
"Sleep well, darling." His mother cooed after him.
After a shower and after throughoutly brushing his teeth, flossing included, of course, Edd felt calmer again, at least a bit. He entered his room and let himself fall into his bed, face first.
He felt numb. But his mind was racing. And yet he couldn't focus on a single thought. He rolled over and pulled his copy of 'Fascinating Anthropods' out from where he had left it the previous night, below his pillow. His fingers brushed along the glossy paper, the black ink as well as the vivid photographs. He had to know the entirety of the Professor's journey around the globe by heart and yet he couldn't stay focused long enough to finish a single paragraph.
He let the book drop onto his chest and closed his eyes.
He was almost finished with his new article for the newspaper, one about an endangered beetle that could be found in Peach Creek and he knew it would do a wonderful job of helping him get into his college of choice, whichever it would be.
Then he remembered Kevin and the way he had taken his hand to help him up on the bike the day they had driven out and searched for one of those beetles.
Eddy complained that day that he didn't hang out with them as much as he used to. But Eddy often didn't understand how much effort he put into learning, and into his clubs and his position as nursing assistant, and keeping the house clean, and yes, his relationships needed effort, too.
He didn't have to worry about any of these things that day in the van. That day with Matthew.
He remembered the way his head had felt empty as he had stared at the van's rusty ceiling, the intoxicant he had consumed slowly taking a hold of his mind. Sometimes he yearned to experience that emptiness one more time.
He remembered a crinkled piece of paper that told him to go to college. The only memento he had left from that day. Matthew was an adult. 27, probably 28 by now. Had he been thinking like his parents? Career first, then the relationships? Or had he not thought about those things at all?
He was rather sure the chemicals had worked on the man in a similar way, letting him forget about numbers and responsibilities, just long enough to let him be open and intimate.
He suddenly remembered standing in the kitchen, checking if the cookies he had prepared for their study session were done. Kevin had kissed his neck in a way that had made his knees buckle and had wiped his mind clean, kind of similar to the previous experience. For a moment he had even forgotten the group of teenagers merely one room away. Being with Kevin was so different from that blurry night in the van, though. It was sharp and piercing and addicting.
He remembered the way Kevin had looked at him last time they had had sex. Free of doubts, only excitement written in his face as he looked down at him, hovering over his body with a confident grin. He had lifted his legs and had gone a bit faster than the previous times and Edd had been turned into a moaning mess.
He covered his burning face with 'Fascinating Arthropods'.
Why was he like this? His parents were thinking so highly of him and he couldn't read a paragraph without his mind drifting to sex. What a disgrace...
A blue butterfly popped up in his mind. He remembered the beautiful design of its delicate wings rather clearly. Kevin's warm hand had hovered next to his as wonderful, wonderful words were spoken to him in the boy's raspy voice. Words that had been too wonderful to not give their relationship a chance.
He had been fine with what he had had with Tyler, if it only had worked out. And he had been scared of what Kevin wanted from him. He still kind of was. A relationship meant responsibilities, compromises, effort. The possibility to fail.
Suddenly he had to think of Kevin's smile. The one he got to see more and more recently. The one that reminded him of strong arms wrapped around him, warming him from head to toe. The one that made him think that Kevin really wanted this. That he made Kevin happy. That thought filled his stomach with butterflies. Blue ones.
Somehow, he fell asleep, Professor Fernandes' book still covering his face without a single page of it having been turned.