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It’s hard to pass up a moment alone - if that’s even what you could call this - with Laudna when those moments seem to come few and far between lately. Which is partially due to Imogen’s own stubbornness, but that’s besides the point.
Imogen settles into the less-than-promising wagon beside Laudna, pulling her knees up to her chest for some semblance of balance for what is sure to be a bumpy ride.
“And here I thought I was going to get this whole cart to myself,” says Laudna, but betrays her words by scooting even closer to Imogen, their arms brushing together.
“I thought you wouldn’t mind some company.”
“You know I never mind your company, dear.”
Just as they get settled, the wagon suddenly lurches forward. The beginning of the journey is bumpy as Imogen anticipated, throwing them around the cart and into the air like a couple of rag dolls. Imogen grabs onto Laudna’s hand to keep them both steady and to make sure her feather-light companion doesn’t get lost to the wind.
Eventually, the terrain evens out and they’re able to sit in the wagon in relative comfort. They have their backs to the crawler to keep the sand and wind out of their faces. They ride in silence(or, as much silence as there can be when riding behind a crawler), watching the passing scenery.
Once everything starts to look the same, Imogen shifts her focus to the inside of the wagon rather than the outside. She lifts her hand that is still holding Laudna’s, bringing it up to her lap. She turns Laudna’s hand over, palm facing up, and begins to trace the lines of Laudna’s palm. Laudna gives a contented hum, leaning over to rest her head on Imogen’s shoulder, staring off across the horizon.
As Imogen’s fingers gently move across Laudna’s palm, gliding up the creases of her long fingers and then back down towards her wrist, her mind wanders. So much has happened in such a short span of time, it’s hard not to get caught up in her own thoughts about it all. It feels like they left the airship ages ago, but it’s been merely days since they last saw Captain Xandis. And for the majority of those days she had been a miserable, bald mess.
Fighting with Laudna had been awful, made even worse by the sudden arrival of Dusk (Yu?). An image plays in Imogen’s head, of Yu taking Laudna’s hand that first day. The same hand Imogen’s currently holding, the one she wanted to reach out to every second of every one of those days but couldn’t. “Cold hands, warm heart,” echoes in her head. Laudna melting at those words, the crushing feeling Imogen felt in her chest for the rest of the day.
Are you staring because you’re jealous?
No.
Maybe?
Is that what it is?
But yet, here she is, with Laudna’s hand in her own, with Laudna’s head resting on her shoulder. Laudna, with the ring Imogen gave her on her finger. No, it’s not Imogen who should be jealous.
Imogen’s fingers move to the ring like her thoughts had, turning Laudna’s hand back over to see the face of it. At the movement, she feels Laudna’s head turn against her shoulder.
“It really is lovely, isn’t it?” Laudna says in her head, talking being impossible over the loud crawlers. Imogen glides both of her thumbs over each snake head.
“I’ve missed this,” Imogen says. A thumb moves over the ruby, smooth under her skin. “I’ve missed you.”
Laudna lifts her head to press a kiss into Imogen’s hair. “Let’s never fight again. It’s dreadful.”
Imogen laughs quietly, the only giveaway being the shake of her shoulders. “Just don’t go breakin’ my things and we’ll be alright.”
“I told you I was sorry!”
Imogen nudges Laudna’s shoulder with her own. “I know, I’m just messin’ with you.”
Laudna sighs dramatically, and Imogen can see a twitch of a smile at the corner of her mouth. Laudna takes up her former position, her head resting on Imogen’s shoulder, this time taking one of Imogen’s hands in both of her own. The light brush of Laudna’s cold fingers sends a shiver up Imogen’s arm.
“I remember, when we first met, these had barely reached the palm of your hand.” To accentuate her point, Laudna traces one single purple line from where it starts at the tip of Imogen’s ring finger, following it as far as she can reach with their positioning, nearly to her elbow. “They’ve grown so much.”
“What do you think it means? That they’re growin’?”
Laudna doesn’t respond immediately, but continues to trace the purple marks back towards Imogen’s hand.
“You’ve only gotten more powerful in these past weeks,” Laudna says eventually. “They seem to grow together. The more you’re able to do, the more they’ll grow.”
Imogen knits her eyebrows together as she watches Laudna’s hand continue to move across her own. She’s not sure if she likes that answer. Not that she thinks Laudna is wrong. She’s afraid she’s right.
How much of her body will be covered when it becomes impossible to escape the storm? Will there come a time when she’s no longer herself, her ability to resist gone, taken over completely by whatever it is her mother is telling her to run from?
“Do you reckon one day I’ll just be one big ball of lightnin’’?” Imogen asks with an attempt at a laugh, an attempt at not seeming as affected by it as she is. Laudna sees right through it, because of course she does.
“I think you’re destined to do incredible things, Imogen.”
She looks up to meet Laudna’s eyes, already there waiting for her. The genuineness behind the statement, the way that Laudna believes Imogen to be a reckoning force of goodness.
Are you staring because you’re jealous?
“What if I don’t want that?”
There’s more words wanting to be said, being held in the back of her mind. The longer she looks at Laudna the harder it is to keep them at bay. What if all I want is you and me and a little cottage in the Heartmoor Hamlet? What if we don’t wait for all of this to be over and just go right now? Would you say yes? Would you stay with me? Please?
“What do you want, then?”
Would you say yes?
Before Imogen can deliberate any further, something hard hits her in the back of the head. She’s almost thankful to have an exit door to this conversation.
“What the-” she turns around, half expecting to find Ashton giving her a shit-eating grin, but instead sees the other crawler picking up speed, the feet pulling up and throwing clods of dirt behind them. Imogen barely dodges another when her eyes catch what it is they’re speeding up towards.
A cliff.
“Should we be worried about that?” Imogen asks, already worried.
“Given that I’m not sure how much we should trust Birdie, I don’t know,” Laudna answers all too honestly.
The crawler they’re riding behind begins to speed up as well and the wagon begins to shake as they roll more aggressively over dirt and vegetation. While Imogen is slightly fearful of a wheel flying off, she trusts Ashton more than she trusts Birdie to not drive them straight over the edge of a cliff, so some of her anxiety fades away.
But then all of it and then some comes rushing back once they hit the bridge.
Laudna, in all of her intuitiveness - or maybe just knowing that Imogen is terrified of heights - senses Imogen’s discomfort and tugs on the hand that she never let go of. “Here, darling, don’t look over the edge, it’ll make it worse.”
Not needing to be told twice, Imogen turns toward Laudna, burying her face in Laudna’s shoulder and taking deep breaths to offset the nausea that’s quickly made itself known. A hand beginning to stroke her hair helps, too.
Surrounded by nothing except Laudna, it’s easier to admit to herself.
Are you staring because you’re jealous?
Yes.