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„You won‘t dare. Captain is going to win,“ said Scotty, sounding quite sure of himself.
„Why wouldn't I? Don't tell me you are scaaaared?“ there was unmistakeable superiority and also quite a bit of slur in Leonard McCoy's words. There were also two empty bottles of Scotch on the table between the two men.
„He would kill you for calling him that... or at least throw you out of his bed for the rest of your life.“
McCoy's eyes widened and deep red blush of embarrassment covered the deep red blush of alcohol on his cheeks.
„What are you talking about?! We aren't...“ He was interrupted by a knowing look from the other side of the table, after which Scotty pulled out a third bottle of Scotch from somewhere and refilled their glasses. Bloody hell. No privacy on this stupid ship, huh.
„How did you find out? No, don't tell me, I don't really want to know. Ok, ok, so we are. Ohhh yes, we are...“ A distant, dreamy look appeared in Leonard's inebriated eyes, now that he finally got a chance to brag. At the beginning he and Spock agreed to keep their new relationship a secret. But it seemed that they weren't as careful as they had previously believed, and really, it would be a waste not to use this opportunity, and Scotty was a friend, after all.
„You know, even after all those medicals I had to give Spock, after all these injuries I had to treat, I wouldn't believe how good he looks without his clothes... if I haven't seen it. Sleek muscles everywhere, I tell you, and when you touch that little place–“
„Stop! Stop, please. I am happy for you, but no details. In fact, I am already trying to forget it all...“ Scotty took a healthy sip from his glass to make the forgetting faster.
Doctor pouted for a short while, but then his blurry mind made a sudden leap to their previous conversation.
„He won't kill me, and he won't throw me out of his bed. And do you know why?“
The mute shake of Scotty's head (it was, in fact, more of a body shake, due to all that Scotch) was the only encouragement he got, and it was obviously enough.
„That's because I have a Plan! A Perfect Plan! And you will help me!“
The smug, self-satisfied look on his face managed to rouse Scotty's interest, despite the niggling feeling that he would regret it soon. He leaned closer to Leonard and after a few loud exclamations, for a long time only the drunken giggling of two adult men was heard.
The next morning there was a new message in Commander Spock's e-mail. The sender appeared to be one James T. Kirk.
My dearest Spockie.
As your best, bestest friend, can I call you that? I think it really suits you. But what I wanted. After our last near-death incident I realized how important a friend I consider you. So I decided to write to you about everything I like about you, so you would know, and that‘s what this message is. First, I think your eyebrow-lift is incredibly cute. Together with those lovely pointed ears of yours it makes you look like a fluffy little fox cub, just waiting to be picked up and cuddled... I don‘t know how long will I be able to resist, really. I also like your personality, which is just adding to your cuteness. Altogether, I would love to have a little Spock plushie to hug to myself. That‘s why I requested to have one customary made when we were on our last shore leave. It‘s in my room and it looks just like you. If you ever want to see, just ask.
Your friend
Jim
P.S. That doll-maker was really hot.
P.P.S. I am NOT drunk.
P.P.P.S And this is NOT a dare. No, really, it's not.
After reading it, he suddenly tensed and his eyebrows furrowed. For the rest of the day there seemed to be a very tense look on his face every time he forgot to control his eyebrows and facial muscles, which admittedly wasn't more than the once, after a short confrontation with hungover Dr. McCoy, but to the people who knew him it was really obvious. He also seemed to avoid the Captain with quiet determination.
A few days later, a mysterious bottle of the highest quality whiskey appeared in Doctor McCoy's quarters out of nowhere. The note next to it said: "You are an ass. Signing as yourself was an obvious implication of the terms. However, as it was not explicitly specified, I admit your victory. Expecting you to split the spoils."