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Everything is some layer of precious. It’s a statement that Trevor lives his life by, he has ever since he was little. He thinks it started when his dad said that Phoebe was worthless because of her autism. Trevor cradled 3 year old Phoebe into his chest, trying in vain to cover her ears with his hands, while dad yelled at his mom for giving him something so “useless.” wondering how anyone could call something as wonderful as her “Useless.” It hurts, it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and it hurts. So ever since that day, Trevor did everything in his power to make everyone around him feel precious because they are! Atleast to him.
Trevor drops everything to help his friends and family, even if they have been jerks to him. Like the time Podcast screamed at him and called him an idiot, Trevor still got up in the middle of the night to help him when he got lost in New York. Trevor didn’t even bring it back up, Podcast did. He asked him “Why?”, in the back of the ghostbuster car, so quiet and sad that it made his heart ache.
Trevor only responded absently while trying not to crash the car. “Your mean words don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. “Trevor chuckled, exhausted and having to stop himself from flipping off a taxi driver so the police chief didn’t use it as an excuse to arrest them. “You could scream you wish me dead, but come hell or high water I’ll still wake up in the middle of the night to listen to you.” It was quiet for the rest of the ride and Podcast never brought it up again, but he sometimes sees Podcast giving him a strange look.
He’s thinking about this currently because of the situation he is in. Sitting in a dilapidated building with some random girl crying beside him. What happened was supposed to be a normal ghostbuster mission. Which means everything went to shit the moment Trevor stepped foot into the building. Apparently, all ghosts love Trevor so the second one ghost locked eyes with him they immediately suplexed him through a wall. He guesses his family didn’t see him get body slammed through a wall because they kept fighting the ghost.
He’s kinda glad, in a way, because they wouldn’t have found this girl if he didn’t get tossed like a ragdoll. While lying there in pain, he heard someone crying quietly a while down. He looked behind him, squinting through the dusty air only to be met with curses and more plasma blasts. So Trevor basically got up, feeling completely miserable and aching, and dragged himself from his death bed to check on this person. Since it’s basically his job to do so. He slammed the door open,probably more aggressive than he meant to, leaning on the door frame and panting like a dog. The girl whipped their head up, sniffling, when he slid down the wall next to her.
It was quiet, awkward. So Trevor does what he usually does, be the awkwardest person in the room. “Hey?” He winces, seeing the girl’s face morph from startled and mildly terrified into an incredulous look. The girl sniffles, stuttering out. “Y-You’re a ghostbuster?” Trevor nods, pasting a wide smile on his face. “Yeah, I am. “The girl smiles slightly, eyes red rimmed and hands wobbly. “Uh, you’re uh, very dirty.” She states, then wincing herself, running a palm down torn jeans.
Trevor chuckles, it makes his chest hurt. “Yeah, well that happens when you’re thrown through a wall. “He claps his hands together with a big grin, the girl looks at him with large eyes, panicking. “I’m sorry, you were what?!? ” Her voice breaks at the end, trying to shove herself up. Trevor waves his hands frantically. ”Now, now, It’s not as bad as it seems. Look-”He cuts himself off, half-way praying that he could say literally anything right.
“Okay, this is going…horrible.”He decides, a contemplative look on his face. The girl rolls her eyes but there is a layer of panic still on her face. “You don’t say.” Trevor ignores her, saying. “So, I’m pretty sure you only know me as like the tall one, or maybe Phoebe’s older brother. I’ve been called the driver once so that too, but I’m Trevor, Trevor Spengler.”He sticks his hand out, skinned knuckles and all, to her. “You?” He asks, head cocked to the side like a puppy. Lucky said it made him look more approachable than he already is. So it’s gotta be like, mildly comforting.
The girl stares uncomprehendingly at him for a moment before taking his dusty hand carefully, shaking it once before dropping it. “Hannah, Hannah Burklin.” Trevor smiles at Hannah, coughing slightly from dust inhalation. Head swimming and heavy, he clicks his tongue, trying to figure out what to say. “Well, Hannah, uh. Why were you crying?” Hannah looks at him blankly, before unfurling her leg revealing a swollen ankle. “I have been crying all day, but that was because of my Honors biology final and not the ankle. “ She pauses, tilting her head before adding. “Well, now it’s because of my leg.”
Trevor hisses, he has no clue how to fix this. He doesn’t even know how to even begin to help this. Trevor doesn’t even know how to fix his own, probably many, injuries. How does he fix a broken ankle? Trick question, he can’t. He can take her mind off it though. He has been called a circus monkey before on numerous occasions and he is pretty much bait on every mission. He can be entertaining. “Oh, that’s not good.” He crinkles his nose.”Both the final and the ankle. Fuck Biology, honestly?”
You see, Trevor would love to tell her stories or like movies he watched Trevor honestly cannot remember how they went. He can barely think right now, his Biology final and school years? He remembers that with startling clarity despite the fact he learned absolutely nothing. He shakes his head, making his vision blacken slightly, going on a slight ramble in the hopes to take Hannah’s mind off her ankle.
“I didn’t learn anything in that class. They just taught us how plants work for the umpteenth time. I was constantly like, “He brings his face up in exaggerated expressions, almost breaking his joke when he sees Hannah smile. But he isn’t going for a polite smile, he’s going for forgetting you're in pain so he has to be funnier, more over the top.
“Sorry Mr. Clarke, but I don’t give a photosyntheshit, “He says the last word harshly, face screwed up in an aggressive snarl. Hannah breaks, choking on air while chuckling. He continues, fake anger coloring his tone. “About this damn carbon cycle, I already learned how it worked back in 8th grade so you can talk all you want about how the plants use the atmosphere to get carbon but I never used this information once so that means it doesn’t matter anymore!” He throws his hands up in false irritation at a fake Mr Clarke, watching with a smile as Hannah bursts out into Hyena like laughter.
“That’s not even the worst part!”He crosses his arms, even though it shoots white hot pain through his arms. “My highschool was larger and more confusing than Daedalus’s fucking labyrinth.”Hannah snorts, bringing a hand up to her mouth. “I didn’t even know where I was going in that poorly lit cheaply put together mess of rooms.”Trevor runs a hand through his hair, watching as dust poofs out as he tugs it through his mashed together curls. His head throbs as his fingers pull loose strands out of his scalp.
Trevor scoffs, pitching up his voice to be more carefree and relaxed in an attempt to be funny. He used to do this when Phoebe would have a breakdown, distracting her until she was laughing from tears and not whatever sense decided to have beef with her that day. So if it makes Phoebe having a breakdown laugh, then there is no way and hell it doesn’t distract Hannah. It works, like he knew it would. She cackles, eyes lit up in amusement, not even wincing when her leg shifts.
“Cohesion? “He limps his wrist, like he’s brushing off the idea. “Who needs that, what’s better than this? A hallway that leads to a closet that leads into a cobweb ridden classroom that leads into a staircase that leads into another hallway that leads into a another staircase that leads into a opening that leads into another building that leads to another slightly more winding Hallway, that leads to another staircase, which leads into another fucking hallway- wait. Where am I?” He looks around, eyebrows pinched in irritation. His vision blurs as he swings his head to the side, but the sound from his left makes it all the more worth it. Hannah is heaving, trying to catch her breath in between laughter. He smiles before forcing his face back into exaggerated anger.
“The 3rd floor of the G building? Yeah, Fuck it!?!”He shrugs, hands put in a kind of Jazz hand motion. Hannah is giggling, cheeks red and rosy with laughter. “I don’t think I was ever on time for a class once! It was 90’s point and click levels of obtuse design.”He brings his legs up to chest, lungs throbbing with every breath but he keeps talking. Because talking is all he’s good for. He can’t aim, he can’t fight, he can’t capture ghosts. He has gotten thrown through a wall for his effort, all he can do is talk. It’s his one defining trait other than hunger. So Trevor keeps talking, even as his head is bursting at the seams and his vision is blurry at the edges.
He huffs a slight hysterical laugh. “Like why is the Biology classroom here? Next to the PE field alone, 20 yards away from my AP English class? That makes no fucking sense. What was the thought put into it, was there any at all? “He coughs, rolling his eyes. “I’ve seen Sim builds made by 12 year old kids with better flow than my school.” Hannah is grasping at her chest, out of breath. Trevor snorts. “That’s not all either! By the time you got somewhere you needed something else or the place was closed so you had to go all the way back. Oh boy!” He widens his eyes in false excitement. “I love trudging 60 miles to go grab my fucking text book which we were told we weren’t going to need today but the teacher changed their mind last minute!”
Trevor leans back, an exaggerated look of exasperation on his face. His eyes were lit up in excitement though, it’s been years since he got to do this. Phoebe doesn’t let him do this for her anymore, says it’s too childish. It hurts ... .to say the least. To know that Trevor can’t help Phoebe like he wants too. However doing this, helping someone else, relieves a tension in his chest that he forgot what it was like to go without.
A quiet moment passes between them while Hannah slowly stops laughing, before Trevor adds on, half joking.“I know right.”He scoffs, Hannah shakes her head. Silence again, before Hannah cuts through it. “I think I failed my Biology final, I was like dissociating through most of my classes.” She sighs. Trevor shrugs, a soft smile on his face even if his chest aches with every breath. Comforting, it’s something he could do. Hannah doesn’t need a joke right now, she needs comfort. Like Trevor does with Podcast, he starts to reassure her.
“I’m sure you did okay. I mean, like I passed High school and I have no clue what I’m doing at any given moment,” He gives her a goofy grin, putting himself down for example to boost her ego. It usually works for Podcast, it gives him a major confidence high and the motivation to go through with whatever project that Trevor doesn’t understand he was nervous about.
Hannah groans, clenching her fists. “That’s what I’m talking about!”She says, frustrated. “I don’t understand how you could have passed school while being a ghostbuster, I don’t understand how you can constantly downplay yourself. It’s impressive!”She glares at him as he opens his mouth. “Don’t say you don’t, I’ve seen the youtube compilations-”
“They make those?-”Trevor interjects, a nervous laugh spilling from his mouth.
“-I think I would go insane if I had to deal with all that, and pass highschool, also your sister being praised so much-.”Trevor cuts her off with a frown. “Hey, Phoebe deserves praise. She’s amazing-”He defends, trying to calm her down. Hannah argues back, even more riled up than before. “And you don’t?”
Trevor sighs, knowing this is worthless to fight. He leans back, chest aching and fast covered in dust. His leg throbs. “Phoebe is…. better.”He says quietly after a strained silence. “She’s smarter, she’s faster, she’s more like our grandpa, more like our Mom, more like Gary. She’s…better. “Hannah stares at him, waiting. He jumps in, frantically sputtering.“A-and I’m not so easy on the eyes myself.”He gestures to himself with dust-covered palms.” I don’t understand things, I’m kinda slow. My purpose as a kid was literally just to take care of Phoebe while our mom worked, it wasn’t specifically told but…”
Hannah drops in quietly. “You could tell?” Trevor nods. “It was implied.”He says dryly, Hannah groans. “And you never…wanted to be like Phoebe? Get the same attention?”She asks, but he can tell this is more than just him. It’s her too, she has her own Phoebe. So he will tell his story.”I did.”He starts hesitantly. “I wanted to be a better brother, better son , so I tried to listen more, I tried to understand but let’s just say shooting stars don’t exactly fly for me. So It…didn’t work.”Trevor sighs, the weight on his chest increasing with each passing moment.
“The teasing increased, I got a couple ‘you couldn’t get this Trevor’s’ in not so many words. They didn’t exactly say it but…”Hannah takes his place, adding in. “It was implied.”Trevor nods. “Uh huh, I tried for weeks. God I tried.” He slumps down, coughing. “For weeks, I read every textbook I could get my hands on. Printed out every research document, did practice exams, watched every Youtube video out there, and nothing. “He groans, remembering aching eyes and a repeating mantra of ‘one more page’. Blurry vision and loss of appetite because his stomach was tied up in knots since it felt like he couldn’t do anything right. All of that, on top of his family's teasing. He just…couldn’t handle it.
“One day. I got so frustrated with being so useless. With nothing ever sticking to my brain no matter what I did- I cried. I just cried.”He scrubs a frustrated hand through his hair, it gets caught on little bits of plaster and sand. It breaks him a bit more. “It doesn’t sound bad, it wasn’t a big blow up, I didn’t get arrested,”Like Phoebe goes unspoken. “ I didn’t break things, but I don’t think I have cried since I was 8 years old and My Mom was so busy with Phoebe that she forgot to say goodnight to me. “He shakes his head with a sad smile, brushing off the memory “I sat there and cried for hours and nobody knew.”
Trevor shrugs. “Nobody cared, nobody knew, they were too focused on Phoebe and I know she deserves it but sometimes you want a little TLC, no?” He looks at her from the corner of his eye. She nods. “Yeah, a little recognition. “She murmurs quietly, Trevor stares forward, working up the courage to finish speaking. He takes a deep breath. “I was mad, angry that nobody checked on me. I was frustrated that nobody heard me sobbing. I was bitter that they paid more attention to Phoebe over me. I was annoyed that I kept getting brushed off. I was the tiniest bit depressed that nothing was working. I don’t even blame them for choosing Phoebe over me, she’s amazing, I guess I’m just …disappointed.”
In the corner of Trevor’s eye he sees Hannah draw little pictures in the dust on the floor, knees curled up into her chest in an attempt to make herself seem smaller. It reminds Trevor of drawn out nights surrounded by failed exams and nonsensical notes. She reminds him of himself, and not in a good way. “...What did you do about it?” She asks quietly, so quietly Trevor had to strain his ears to hear in the silent room. It’s when he notices his ears are ringing slightly, but that’s not important.
Trevor sighs, throat scratchy and dry. He gives her a strained smile. “It’s funny what you’ll put aside when you have things you need to do.”He looks up at the ceiling, seeing vague mystery spots on the roof through the darkness. He spills. “Podcast called, he’s Phoebe’s friend, I’m not sure if you know him. He’s like more popular than me so.”He shrugs. “He got mad at me earlier that day, but called me to pick him up because he was lost, and he sounded scared.”
Hannah scoffs, flexing her fists. “I would have hung up.”She mutters, Trevor’s mouth curls up in a sad smile. “I know, but…”He sighs, staring at the roof. “The line was silent, he was waiting for my answer and I was laying there. Face all blotchy and red, I let my head fall and I saw the zeros line up on my 24 hour clock, mocking me with the time. It was so late, and I saw the books stacked on my bed and the overflowing trash can.”Trevor’s breath hitches, sight getting slightly blurry. “I realized what was happening, and I told him I would come. I cleaned my face off, put on my sandals, and slipped down stairs to drive off who knows where to pick up this kid.”
Trevor takes a deep, aching, breath. He says, voice melancholy and painfully blank. “I learned two things that day.” The little nook they are in is silent, completely quiet. Even lacking background noises. She waits for him to keep talking. “One, I was never going to let anybody see that they got to me. That no one taunting or teasing, not sharp jabs or angry words, would be shown on my face. I want to be the person that people would call even if I have their number blocked because they know I would answer anyways, just in case. Since,” his breath hitches.” I would rather have to go back to the start, over and over and over, again then subject anyone else to that torment.”
Hannah asks quietly, anxious. “And two?” A shaky, broken, smile finds its way on his face. He closes his eyes, head pulsing and aching, eyelids heavy. “If the worlds only gonna see me as lazy and not as precious as Phoebe, then.”A hot tear slips down his dirty cheeks, leaving an uncomfortably sticky trail. “Then there is no point in trying to be anything else. “ The ringing in his ears is loud, and it aches behind his ears. He slips down the wall and hits the floor.
Weirdly, he hears two screams of “Trevor!” underneath the blood rushing in his ears. One that is close to him , and the other is clung with static. He feels warm, desperate, hands grip his shoulder and shake him. He thinks he hears more talking, but he can’t really tell what they are saying with this blanket of tiredness covering him. Tugging at the corners of his mind, telling him to sleep, and he’s so cold. Usually when Trevor sleeps he’s warm, so maybe he should sleep and he’ll warm up?
Trevor hates being cold ever since the world ended. The feeling of frost cloaking his fingertips and inching its way up his body with him unable to do anything. It shows up frequently in his nightmares. He wears lots of layers now, and sleeps with blankets, he also has a towel taped on his ceiling where that slime was dripping. Lucky has told him multiple times that his room gives “Redneck Engineering.” Speaking of Lucky, he really should go talk to her. He misses her dearly, tomorrow he should call her, tell her that he was really fucking cold last night and that he misses her stupidly hot apartment.
Yeah…yeah, he should go do that tomorrow. So he should sleep so that tomorrow comes faster, that’s what his mom told him whenever he was too excited to sleep, and what he parroted back at Phoebe when he had to watch her because Mom was too busy. Trevor slips back into the darkest corner of his mind, losing all consciousness and ignoring the loud buzzing and shoving around him.
~~~
Trevor wakes up to a heart monitor beeping and a plastic mask on his face. He turns over to see Phoebe slumped over in a chair, his family sitting in the corner. “Pho’be?”He calls out, muffled by the oxygen mask strapped to his chin. She sits up like she was shocked, bolting to him. “Trevor!”She shoots, a wide grin on her face. She places her head on his chest, arms wrapped around him, like she’s listening to his heart. His family whips their head up and towards him, same smiles on their faces as Phoebe.
“Hey baby, how are you?”His mom asked, his hand in hers. He notices his skinned knuckles now bandaged. “Fl-oty?”He murmurs, slurred from the mask. Phoebe brings her brows together, a habit she learned from him. “Floaty?” He nods, she smiles. “That would be the painkillers administered from your IV.''She states, he clicks his tongue the best he can. “Ah,”
Gary sighs, looking relieved. “Trevor you scared the shit out of us, I’m so glad you always leave your com on.”Trevor nods, staring at him with wide, still slightly blurry, eyes. His mom takes a shaky breath as Phoebe grips him tighter. “Trevor?”Her voice breaks, it makes him want to jump up and ask her what’s wrong but his body feels floaty and unresponsive. “I’m so sorry baby.”She says, bowing her head. “We should have paid more attention to you, a-and you’re not less than Phoebe. Okay? “
Gary jumps in. “You’re a really good kid, Trev. We’re- I’m sorry I didn’t show that. I should have hung out with you more instead of pushing you off. I-god kid.”He puts his head in her hand, Trevor tries to say ‘it’s okay.’ but it just sounds more like sympathetic humming. Phoebe frowns, pressing her forehead to his. Like he used to do when she was upset before she decided that he was being stupid for wanting to do it.
“Trev, I was being incredibly oblivious and insoulent by treating you the way you did. You..”Phoebe takes a wobbly smile. “You always did the best, trying to take care of me even when you truly should not have been. You always look for the good in people, you always help me and I took that for granted.”She shakes her head, a determined look on her face. “No more, I will make sure you feel precious and happy all the time, because you’re not lazy and if you are then you deserve to be. “ She states, squeezing him tighter.
Gary nods, “Uh huh? Hear that kid? You’re getting pampered the hell out of you for a long while. You deserve it.” Mom grins, wide and bright. “Anything you want.”She emphasizes, hands gesturing widely.
He laughs, amazed as tears prickle out the corners of his eyes. For the first time in ages, he felt important. Not just a mouth piece, an extra pair of hands, a spare worker. No, he felt like a real person. It wasn’t a bad feeling…to be precious for once.