Work Text:
yong.lixxx
hey
this is def weird
and i may get blocked
but that's a risk im willing to take
Changbin picks up his phone with a frown. Felix has been a constant presence in his DMs since Jisung orchestrated their first introduction to each other six months ago. He's a freckled cutie, baby-faced but with a velvety voice; a bonus from puberty that got Changbin feeling a little envious of his own not bringing along such a gift. Hannie declared them twins a week into knowing the guy, because hyung, you won't believe this. We were born in the same hospital, just a day apart— isn't that crazy?
Very. They're so alike it's freakish sometimes, like someone hit copy and paste at the Personality Assigning Department at Baby Making & Co. and thrust them into the world with mere hours in between, chaos definitely in mind. Hanging out with them is an experience no matter the occasion or time of day, fun beyond words and always a little heartwarming in the end. Changbin's glad they found each other, that the universe put Jisung on Earth and didn't forget his perfect match somewhere else.
Long story short, Changbin likes Felix even though they're not exactly friends themselves. Not total strangers, either. They only see each other when Jisung calls for it— which is more often than not, he'll admit— but outside of it communication is almost null.
Except for Instagram. Felix is a chronic user, perpetually online and inclined to share what he sees with people he knows. Anyone he knows. Changbin gets a minimum of three messages from him per day: a mixture of reels, funny posts and even giveaways Felix thinks he might enjoy taking part in. Usually, Changbin does. He tries to give back as much as he can, but he's yet to make friends with the app. Hannie had to teach him how to use hashtags and post stories not so long ago.
Personal feud with Zuckerberg aside, Changbin clicks on the notification to open the chat. Felix's username popping up on his screen is not weird, and it definitely doesn't guarantee blocking protocol. He doesn't think he knows how to do that, anyway.
yong.lixxx
u see
im having a horrible day
like absolute shit day
runny and asshole-burning
Changbin's disgust fuses with a laugh, nose scrunching up at the same time his lips curl up. Felix's voice wasn't the only shocking thing about him when they met. Behind his angelic looks lies a dirty mouth that swears left and right, paired with a branch of humor that catches you off guard coming from a pretty pink mouth— but makes perfect sense when you remember it's attached to a man in his twenties.
yong.lixxx
and i keep thinking about ur biceps
Oh. That's… not what he was expecting. At all. Changbin flies his free hand up to wrap around the muscle, as if to shield it from wandering eyes. He tries to ignore the fact that he's going red all alone in his room.
yong.lixxx
do u think i could get. A picture of them
to stimulate the release of endorphins
jutdwae
dude
yong.lixxx
i swear im normal
jutdwae
i thought so a second ago
now im having my doubts
yong.lixxx
listen
men have muscles = me happy
that's just how im wired
Jisung had them meet during the summer, with the sun firing lethal rays as the three of them tried to stay as cool as possible in the measly shadows. Changbin wore a tank top and swim trunks, which Felix took note of the moment he came into view. There was a hi exchanged eye-to-eye and a second, almost absent-minded hello directed at his arms. Changbin's proud of his body, knows it garners a few looks when it's out in the open like that, but he'd never had someone be so obvious.
Subtlety is not Felix's thing. Still, he's never made Changbin feel uncomfortable, or ogled at. He had his first and only slip back then, greeting his muscles like a separate entity, but nothing much has happened since.
That's part of the reason why Changbin doesn't think there's an ulterior motive behind his request, or even a layer of attraction per se. Well, Felix obviously does like his biceps, enough for a simple picture to count as a pick-me-up, but Changbin truly believes it to be just that— Felix's own version of asking for photos of cute puppies when you're down. He'll take a deep breath, look at it for a minute, and find the strength to continue.
(Does it say anything about him that he finds the thought of it kind of sweet?)
jutdwae
well
when u put it like that
yong.lixxx
no pressure tho
i can just fuck right off
jutdwae
what u have other muscle men to go to?
im just a choice among choices??
bet u did eeny meeny miny moe…
yong.lixxx
NO!!!!!
Changbin snorts. Felix starts typing again, probably rushing to save his fake-broken ego, so he clicks out of the app to open the camera in the meantime. Which will work best— a close-up or a far away shot? Well, as far as his non-flexing arm can reach, anyway. Changbin rolls up the sleeves of his t-shirt and tries different levels of strength. His muscles look big even while relaxed, but if this is supposed to brighten someone's day, he'd better pull the full show: defined lines and curves, maybe a vein or two in sight.
Hm. Close-up, definitely a close-up.
He snaps a few pictures of his right arm, then does the same with the left. Damn, that's one hell of a healthy, active body— he looks extra fit today. Felix is in luck.
yong.lixxx
jisungs like my only friend
twink 1 and twink 2
jutdwae
[Image]
hannies getting kinda buff though
yong.lixxx
good lord
how do they keep getting bigger???
jutdwae
the gym
[Image]
yong.lixxx
you've just saved my life
jutdwae
haha
guessing it worked?
yong.lixxx
i feel like i could take down a bull with my bare hands rn
Pride swishes in Changbin's tummy. He pats his muscles a couple times, like someone would a dog that's just performed a trick. Good job, guys. You've done well. He'll work out later in the evening and enjoy every burning second of it.
jutdwae
😎
anytime
.
Jisung shows up with two handfuls of grocery bags cutting circulation on his fingers, plastic stretched thin. "Do you know how to bake?"
"I use a potato peeler for apples which, as you might've guessed, are definitely not potatoes. So—" Changbin replies. He moves out of the way so Jisung can barrel in, desperate to get his blood flowing again. "What do you think?"
"That it's kinda smart, actually," Jisung says, dumping a load of ingredients on Changbin's table. A singular lemon rolls off, its thud against the floor making him jump. "Fuck. Shit. Were the eggs in this one?"
"If they are, they're fine," Changbin says, helping him unpack the rest. "The bag would already be soiled otherwise."
They line every item up as they pull them out, ending up with quite an eventful row: two flours, one milk carton, a bag of sugar, butter, half a dozen (unscathed!) eggs. That one lemon. Jisung stares like it's the first time he sees such a combination despite having been the one to pay for it at the store. Changbin considers the scene with a contemplative hum of his own.
"What's your plan, then?" He asks.
"Bake," Jisung says. Changbin waits for something more, but it never comes.
"That much I gathered— bake what?"
Jisung points at the citric fruit with lightning speed, as if there were something to accuse it of. Blame it, not me. "Lemon cookies."
"Why was I even an option for this side quest of yours?" Changbin frowns. He's never shown any prowess in the kitchen— quite the opposite, in fact. His oven has definitely just been collecting dust all this time. "Isn't Felix, like… an actual skilled cook? I tried his brownies once."
"Yeah, don't remind me," Jisung scoffs, shooting to elbow him on the ribs. Changbin dodges the attack with ease. "Those were mine! Half of them were gone by the time I found out he'd left the container with you."
"That's the point I'm trying to make," Changbin says, ignoring the obvious jab. It's not his fault, and he'll stand by that. Felix had no business mixing the essence of heaven into the recipe. "They were delicious. He's the guy you need to call."
"I can't— these are for him," Jisung explains, groaning into his palms to let all the frustration out. He stays there for a minute, then emerges with an angry frown pulling his eyebrows in. "He had a date today, but the bastard stood him up. Now he's moping at home over some worthless prick, and it makes me so mad."
Similar feelings begin to take shape in Changbin's chest. How selfish do you have to be? Felix is worth the second it takes to text for a rain-check and more. Changbin thinks about his brightness dimming as the clock ticks and the realization slowly settles; how Felix might have assumed it had something to do with him and not the asshole wasting his time. It makes him clench his fists, every bone aching to have a far-from-friendly word with a faceless figure. How dare he?
Changbin has always felt a sense of responsibility to protect when Hannie's around; that's one of his many charms. And it makes sense, he guesses, that such duty could eventually extend to his so-called twin.
Felix is funny and sweet, eager to give, give, give yet never as bothered with the return. When he heard that Changbin had eaten a better portion of Jisung's brownies— like a man possessed, because that's what he was, and completely free of guilt, Han— he laughed it off and set to bake an even bigger batch that could fill two full containers instead. One so Jisung would stop whining, and a second for Changbin to enjoy by himself.
"I thought about adding nuts, but I didn't know if you liked them, or if you were allergic," Felix said. "Are you? Jisung didn't know."
"I'm not," He popped the lid open, the smell of chocolate and warmth wafting into his nose. He'd known right there and then that he would touch the clouds with every bite that went in. "Thank you. Really. You didn't have to."
"I don't mind," Felix shrugged with an honest smile. "I love to bake, and I love that others love what I bake. It's a win for me, too."
Angel Lixie, Jisung would often call him. How fitting. That guy must have been the stupidest alive not to see it at first glance.
"What a jerk," Is Changbin's conclusion. Jisung grumbles something under his breath, most likely a worse insult or two. Changbin picks up the milk and eggs to inspect them, like they'll tell him anything new. "Do you have a recipe for these lemon cookies?"
Jisung fishes out his phone. "Yeah, one sec," He taps into the website and scrolls in silence for a bit. Then: "Who the fuck measures in cups?"
Changbin sighs. "Let me call my mom."
She coos and deems them the sweetest boys as soon as they tell her why her help is needed. Changbin's sister sounds far away when she chimes in to say her brother's a grown man that should know how to turn the oven on by now. What an insightful comment, he yells back into the mic, hoping she'll hear, really added so much to the conversation. Jisung has to guide them back on track before a silly sibling quarrel pushes the delivery of the cookies past midnight.
Thanks to priceless, motherly guidance, they manage to survive every step with less of a mess than solo-tackling the recipe would've entailed. Jisung's clothes are speckled with flour all over and Changbin's hands smell heavily of lemons by the time the oven takes over for the final task, but their baking first-born goes in looking decent enough, which is great— they both know asking for more would be greedy. As long as those cookies can be ingested without upsetting any stomachs, they'll be considered a success.
The taste-test, however, requires an anxious wait. Jisung glues his eyes to the glass door so he doesn't miss a second of it, eager to witness the gradual rise of his creation. Changbin much prefers an actual break. He makes a beeline for the couch and plops on it with a sigh, finally noticing that his phone screen has been stamped with a buttered thumb-print. Eugh. He wipes it off with the hem of his shirt and goes straight to his chat with his mom.
Changbin
thank you, eomma ❤️
love and miss you lots!
Mom
Anytime, aegi
Let me know how those cookies come out in the end. Your friend will be so thankful!
Oh, Jisung better not take the full credit when he brings them to Felix later. Just to be sure… Changbin could send a quick message right now, to let Felix know sugary help is on the way and that he was part of the whole process. Yeah, he'll do that. Then Jisung won't be able to paint him out of the picture as easily if he tries. Hypothetically.
jutdwae
hey
yong.lixxx
hi?
whats up?
jutdwae
if i tell you something will you promise not to kill hannie
yong.lixxx
😃
u know about my failed date dont u
Changbin winces. That was fast. He sneaks a glance at Jisung, still crouched in front of the oven with his eyes wide as saucers, and hopes his face doesn't betray the fact that he's just thrown him under the bus in less than 20 words. Act natural.
jutdwae
yeah
sorry
but fuck that guy, dude
only thing in his favor is that at least he let you know the kind of person he was early on. you deserve better than some basic jerk
yong.lixxx
… thank you <3
and i know, im trying to meet less of those
looks like the odds arent on my side just yet lol
im still killing jisung for spilling btw
"Hyung!" Jisung gasps. He's folded himself into a ball, arms tight around his knees as he sways back and forth, fully hypnotized by the smell that starts to fill up the room. "Come look— you're missing the miracle of life sitting over there."
Changbin doesn't reply. Instead, he angles his phone to capture the scene; the exact moment the wonders of baking change the trajectory of a young boy's life.
"I say we take one, name it and co-parent for the rest of our lives," Jisung says. He's dead serious.
jutdwae
if i told you we've just finished baking some cookies for you would you reconsider
yong.lixxx
ik ure lying
jisungs experience in the kitchen starts and ends with instant noodles
jutdwae
mine as well
i had to call my mom for help and deal with my sister laughing at us the whole time
yong.lixxx
no way
wait im gonna cry
jutdwae
we were kinda hoping for the opposite effect
yong.lixxx
im extra sensitive rn 🖕🖕🖕
did you really really??
jutdwae
[Image]
hannie hasn't left the oven's side in half an hour
Changbin spots the mistake while it's still salvageable, but his fingers work faster than his brain and end up dooming him anyway. His most recent picture sat dangerously close to his earlier mirror-check in the gym, arm flexed and chest puffed out— he'd thought he'd clicked the right one until the very last second, by that point already incredibly late. The message delivers without a hitch, the word seen flashing under it before he can even think about asking Google how to go back in time. Or tech support how to delete it.
yong.lixxx
jisung looks so different there
did he do something with his hair
jutdwae
im so sorry
the photos were right next to each other and i have clumsy thumbs
[Image]
that's. what i was supposed to send
yong.lixxx
Hahah u don't need to apologize it's okay!
sungie looks like he's the size of a singular peanut 🤏
His heart constricts, as if there were a thin string curling endlessly around it and pulling taut. It's one thing to give when you're asked to, and another to do so unprompted— that's an entirely different conversation. Changbin's embarrassment is sent to the back of his mind, giving room to self-reproach. He should've been more careful. Hasn't Felix dealt with enough bullshit for the day?
jutdwae
i probably came off as such a douche
i swear it was an accident im not like that
yong.lixxx
hyung!!!!
i know!!!
it really is okay. like genuinely
jutdwae
still
sorry 😞
yong.lixxx
no need
am i allowed to look at it for serotonin purposes or should i pretend it's not there? im fine with both
jutdwae
i mean ive already sent it
yong.lixxx
doesn't matter
i WILL ignore it if that's ur wish
physically extract it from my memories, even, if there is such a way
Changbin's lips quirk into a smile, his thumbnail held between his teeth to hide it from Jisung's view. His body has finally given up on his original position, urging him to sit on his butt instead, and he has a cooking glove on in preparation for the grand reveal. The cookies must be almost ready.
jutdwae
sounds painful
just look at it it's fine
yong.lixxx
then thank ur thumbs for me. give em a little kiss
cuz i got a double gift!!!!!! 🤸
His laughter bubbles up at the same time the oven beeps, signaling the end of a torturous wait. Jisung jumps onto his feet and pulls the tray out, handling it gently even as he vibrates with barely contained excitement. Changbin captures the exact moment he takes a bite and realizes they taste fucking good, a child-like spark in his eyes and crumbs on the corners of his mouth.
This time, he double-checks to make sure it's the right photo before he hits send.
.
"Jisung!" Felix pounds on the door with all of his might— combined with the yelling, it might get Hannie his very first noise complaint since moving in. "I got my grade!"
Changbin wraps a hand around the knob and moves out of the way before twisting, just in case a too-eager fist fails to stop in time. "He's in the bathroom."
Felix stumbles in, finding his balance after a few comical skips on one foot. "Oh— hi, hyung!"
Changbin smiles, ruffles Felix's hair on his way back to the couch. "Hey."
"Is there a fire?" Jisung comes out of the toilet with his button undone, fingers fighting to zip up his jeans. It's jammed, and then it's not. The zipper pinches his skin, but he valiantly swallows a squeak. "What the hell was all that noise?"
"Just Felix trying to collapse the entire building," Changbin explains, pausing the penguin documentary Hannie had put on before duty— his bladder— called. "Something about a grade…?"
Jisung's eyes widen, and he guides his friend to sit right next to Changbin before he plops down as well, sandwiching him in the middle. "You got it?"
Felix nods and pulls out his phone with the school's website opened, a link to test results waiting for him to check his fate. He leaves it on the coffee table like it's crawling with bugs and disgusting to the touch, planting his feet on the couch to hide his face between his knees.
"I couldn't open it by myself," He says. A deep breath in, out. He turns his head to look at Changbin and finally fills him in. "This determines whether I'll need to retake this class or not, which sucks in itself, but I'm also 85% sure the professor hates me, so."
"Nonsense!" Jisung confidently declares. "I'm 99% sure it's impossible for anyone to hate you."
Changbin has to agree. Even if there truly were people out there experiencing any bitter feeling towards Felix, he has zero doubts about it being only their fault. Have they done enough self-reflection? I don't need to, you say? Yeah, well. There's your problem.
"I'm a hundred percent sure," He says.
"Oh— trying to one-up me, big boy?" Jisung glares at Changbin over the top of Felix's head. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he begins to crack his knuckles. "If that's how it's going to be, then I challenge you to a duel for Lixie's hand in marriage."
"Sure," Changbin rolls his shoulders, as if he were warming up for a real round on the ring. "Easy win."
"Save it for later," Felix interrupts, putting his hands up and creating a barrier between them. "Preferably when I'm not two seconds away from throwing up my lunch, please."
"He doesn't love you like I do!" Jisung insists with a theatrical wail, draping himself over Felix's back. Changbin seizes the opportunity and flicks him on the forehead. "Hey, that's not—"
"Stop it, I'm serious," Felix drags Jisung back into place and wraps a hand around his arm, squeezing hard. Changbin notices the slight tremble in his voice, the way his nails dig into Jisung's skin. "Will you check for me? I really can't look at it without tasting bile in my throat."
Jisung sobers up in a heartbeat. He pats Felix's knee and reaches for the phone. "Yeah. Of course, Lix. I'll do it."
Scratch, scratch. A look down reveals that Felix has been picking at the skin around his nails for a while, probably from the moment he got the daunting notification onwards. He replaced the bad habit on his left by clinging to Jisung, but his free hand keeps getting attacked by anxious motions. Without thinking too much, Changbin lightly bumps into his shoulder, driving Felix's attention to his own arm by giving it a few taps.
"You said these made you feel like you could take down a bull, right?" He starts. This might be stupid— unbearably so— but worth a try if it's enough to light up a freckled sky. He clears his throat. "Think they can work the same charm against petty professors?"
Felix's lips twitch into an almost-smile, grateful but still riddled with worry. "If you're offering…" His fingers slither around Changbin's bicep, too short to meet on the other side. They're ice cold; most likely another nervous side-effect. Soft pink blooms on his cheeks as he admits, "I didn't know how to ask without sounding creepy. Thanks."
Felix holds him with just enough strength to keep their skin touching and his nails away from giving into restless tics. Not too tight, not too loose. There's a certain gentleness to it, contrasting starkly against hard muscle— the kind of tender people struggle to associate Changbin with at first sight, often misled by looks. As a result, he's always extra careful to nourish a friendly glint in his eyes, a more welcoming curl on his mouth.
He's never had to try as hard, with Felix. At least, not that he can recall. It's sweet, and it feels… good. Like being with Hannie, and therefore purely himself. Like being effortlessly known.
Changbin shrugs, hoping his shoulders will hide the blush creeping up his own neck. "I did say anytime."
"A man of his word, huh," The pull on Felix's mouth becomes more natural, less tense. He nods in approval. "Hard to find these days. Kudos to you."
"Would it kill whoever's coding these fucking college websites to make them, I don't know, less crashy?" Jisung presents his complaints to the room with a heavy frown, unaware of having missed an entirely different conversation. "It's already sweating and huffing and I've only clicked a link."
"Keep refreshing," Felix instructs. "The mobile version sucks ass."
Jisung drags his thumb on the screen, over and over for what feels like a lifetime, and then: "Ah!" He yells. "It loaded!"
"Ah!" Felix's twin scream leaves Changbin's ear ringing. He shakes Jisung by the elbow. "Well, tell me!"
"You—"
"No, wait," Felix closes his eyes and squeezes the muscles under his grip extra tight for a last-minute wish to the universe. "Okay, now."
Jisung breathes in. "You—"
"No, wait—"
"Lix!" Jisung shoves the phone in his face. Felix blinks at it, trying to get the text into focus. "Stop freaking out. You passed."
"I did?" He shoots up, reading it for himself just to make sure. Once, twice, three times. A proud grin takes over his face. "I did!"
Jisung pats his butt like it's the drums. "Hell yeah, baby!"
"I'd like to thank my mother," Felix starts, using his phone as a mic and fake sniffing into it, all while batting his eyelashes to fight non-existent tears. "For birthing me brilliant. My friends, for always believing in me.”
Jisung whoops, and Changbin claps so loud the neighbor's Chihuahua starts barking like a maniac. It adds to the illusion of a roaring audience.
He leaves the special dedications for last, tags on a cheeky wink. "And an honorable mention to hyung's biceps, for being so full of magic."
Changbin bows, modest. "Please, it was all you."
"Wait, what?" Jisung blinks, out of the loop. "I don't get it.”
Changbin smirks. Felix's only answer is a bout of laughter as all-consuming as the sun.
.
If there's anything more confusing than Instagram's interface, it's Instagram etiquette. Don't like old posts: you'll come off stalker-ish (aren't they there for a reason?). Giving face and/or body stories a 'heart' counts as making a move (makes zero sense). Sending a message is a thing of the past— nowadays people slide into DMs. Also a form of flirting, by the way. The more Changbin learns, the less he understands.
Only one thing's for sure: somehow, everything equals the start of a romantic or sexual advance. He knows this because Hannie has been pulling all stops in his journey to get into Lee Minho's pants. The first time he asked Changbin whether he considered liking two stories in a row a promiscuous move or not, Changbin couldn't believe it was a serious question. Jisung's unwavering stare told him it effectively was.
"No?" He answered, unsure, leaving the rest of his lyrics half unwritten. How did it go, again? He'd just thought of it. Your eyes filled with happiness are… water that—
"And if I DM him right after?" Jisung cut into his flow once again. He fiddled with his phone for a second and then shook his head. "No. God, might as well poke my head out of the window and announce to the world that I'm a whore."
Water that… spills? Fuck it. It won't come back now, not with Jisung's insane statements hanging in the air between them without explanation. "How on Earth is that the same thing?"
What followed was an intensive course on online flirting culture that scrambled Changbin's brain until dizzy. He called it bullshit out loud, right in Jisung's face, then spent the next few days overanalyzing every interaction he had on the app. The results came back with mostly good news, with the highlight being that his platonic relationships are, per Instagram standards, platonic in fact. Well, all of them except—
yong.lixxx liked your story.
yong.lixxx liked your story.
yong.lixxx sent you a message.
looking good king
It can't be. Changbin draws a mental recap of Jisung's speedy class and ticks off all the boxes one by one for the fifth time since becoming aware. Liking patterns, frequency of messages— their own added item: amount of bicep pics delivered.
(It's not all their chat is about, in Felix's defense. Changbin has to scroll way, way back between each instance, and he's pretty sure the guy gets a genuine rush of serotonin with any muscle in his line of sight or grip. He's seen Felix massage Jisung's arms for half an hour straight more times than he can count, so.)
It truly, honestly can't be.
Plus, if Felix liked him like that, wouldn't he have said it already? Done something about it, at the very least? Jisung says that Lix is the type to always be upfront about his feelings, good or bad, and after some thinking Changbin concludes he's only ever made himself approachable to him. He wouldn't be mad or react harshly, not with Felix and not with anyone at all. Surely, he knows this.
So it must be bullshit, much like he'd originally proclaimed. Changbin smirks to himself and adds another I was right in the bag, ready to face Jisung with it next time they meet up. Felix does all those things, yet we're just friends. How do you explain that, huh?
(Later on, he'll feel dumb.)
jutdwae
thanks man
yong.lixxx
what u up to?
jutdwae
about to microwave cold pizza for dinner
u?
yong.lixxx
home from my third failed date of the month 😒
jutdwae
:/ sorry
u good?
yong.lixxx
meh
i like to think im getting rid of the bad options, like u said
but also i think i might be cursed
should i do an egg cleanse???
or stop trying
jutdwae
the right person is somewhere out there
u might miss them if u do
yong.lixxx
well they keep missing ME so im bitter
and about to cook my frustrations away
do u want to join me?
promise ill make it tastier than microwaved pizza
jutdwae
u know how good microwaved pizza is? better than right out the oven pizza
yong.lixxx
u should be in jail just for saying that
but its ok. i'll prove u wrong 👨🏼🍳
Changbin hesitates for a second, realizes where it's coming from, and then shakes his head with a scoff— Jisung's nonsense is just that, nonsense, and he shouldn't let it tamper perfectly normal friendships. Felix simply needs some company after a rough night, and if Changbin's honest with himself, he's been craving some too. It's been a busy, lonely weekend, spent playing Catch Up To The Late Assignment! while battling against a persistent melody that won't leave him alone unless he's writing lyrics down. Not exactly relaxing.
It's time for a break, he thinks; forty-eight hours without a familiar face buzzing around him start to taste sour fast when you're a people-person by nature. Changbin's convinced this is his new personal record; one he won't try to challenge anytime soon. Dinner with a friend sounds a lot like the perfect way to recharge his batteries and get a good night's sleep.
jutdwae
ill hold u to that
be there in 30!
yong.lixxx
ill blow ur mind hyung
trust!!!!
A quick detour to buy something to drink places him at Felix's door only 5 minutes later than promised. Changbin is overtaken by the urge to pat his curls and fix his clothes right after knocking, suddenly worried about looks. Felix answers before he can start pondering on reasons why.
"Hey, so," Frail, with a slight tremble. It takes an extra second for the other signs— glassy eyes, a red nose— to finish painting the full picture. Changbin's heart beats faster, fueled by concern: Felix has been crying. "I know I said I didn't care, but I'm waiting for the dough to rise and I had time to really think about it." The wave of a hand in front of his face, a sniff. "Clearly, it didn't end well."
Changbin steps in and pushes the door closed behind him, quickly toeing off his shoes.
"Sorry. Just… give me a second," Felix fans himself.
"None of that," Changbin says. He rubs his hands together and blows into his palms, warming them back up, then opens his arms to beckon him closer. "Come here."
They meet in the middle, limbs sliding into position like rivers meeting each other at the ocean, where they finally fuse into one. Felix hooks his chin on Changbin's shoulder and melts into the embrace, breathes out a shaky sigh against cool skin. Changbin draws circles on his back and drags the same soothing, repetitive motions all along the length of his spine. Up, down. Up, down.
"Am I the problem?" Felix quietly mumbles.
Changbin holds him a bit tighter, eyebrows knitting into a frown. "Don't say that."
"What am I supposed to think?" Felix argues, voice rising yet not born out of anger— out of defeat. "I don't know how else to explain this awful streak."
"I do," Changbin says. When Felix hums, he feels the vibrations against his clavicle; a rumble of doubt that he wishes to drown. "You know your worth and won't settle for less."
"Maybe I should."
Changbin clicks his tongue and nudges Felix's head with his own in gentle reproach. "Never."
Felix sniffles, burrows himself deeper into Changbin's arms. He lets the words sink in, breathes them in following the rise and fall of his hyung's chest. In, out. Changbin hears him take one last stuttered breath before he feels the tip of Felix's nose brush against his neck in a quick nod. He squeezes him once, to make sure it sticks. Never, ever.
"You give the best hugs," Felix sighs, returning the gesture with a squeeze of his own. Affectionate morse code. "Has anyone ever told you that?"
It puts a genuine smile on Changbin's face, all pride and all teeth. That's the kind of feedback that makes a man's day. Week, even. "Thanks," he says. "It's what I lift all those weights for."
"Of course it is," Felix chuckles, fond, stepping out of the hug to dry his damp cheeks with a sleeve.
Changbin offers a helping hand by gently cradling one side of his face and trailing his thumb over each constellation: Orion's Freckle Belt; Freckle Major and Freckle Minor. Back when he was a child, his mother would sneak them onto the roof every time he awoke from a nightmare, stargazing the only thing she found truly calmed him down. Think about what's real, she would say. Just remember the stars.
He still seeks them out when things get too hard, but sometimes the weather doesn't want to cooperate. Too many clouds, too heavy a rainfall. Maybe, during days like those, he can switch creaky stairs to the top for an easier, quicker glimpse at Felix’s face on his phone.
"That’s why you—” Felix pokes Changbin’s bicep with a small, playful smile. “—could never treat me wrong."
Changbin flexes, puts on a silly voice that is supposed to come from his muscles. “That’s right!”
Twin laughs fill the room to the brim.
.
yong.lixxx
haven't slept in two days because of a midterm
i have one more unit to get through if i fall asleep now itll all be IN VAIN
jutdwae
bicep? lol
yong.lixxx
plz
jutdwae
hold on
[Image]
here
yong.lixxx
ooh i see teeth
a sweet little bonus?? for little ol’ me??
i request The Full Smile
jutdwae
Request accepted
[Image]
yong.lixxx
okayyyy prince charmingggg 😍
what about a finger heart request?
jutdwae
Request accepted
[Image]
yong.lixxx
omg
i have been given too much power i feel like
hyung are u sure u trust me with it
jutdwae
ure ready
use it wisely
yong.lixxx
Incoming picture of the front and back of your credit card request
jutdwae
[Image]
get yourself something cute
yong.lixxx
that's ur nasty protein shake
ive been scammed
scammer!!!!
jutdwae
everything has its limits
yong.lixxx
BOOOOOOOOO 🍅 🍅
.
Felix takes Changbin's advice to heart; he won't ever let anyone convince him— not even his own self-sabotaging thoughts— that he should settle for less. Hence why it's not as upsetting anymore, to find out another date will become a night wasted away, and so he switches salty tears for a salty, frustrated rant instead.
“And then I said, what's your sign?” He laughs, devoid of humor. “Wrong fucking question, apparently.”
Pissed-off Felix, as Changbin has come to find out, is a certified masseur. When he slapped his hands on his shoulders, Changbin thought it was just another stress-relief thing; that his fingers would slide down his arms, cop a feel, and absorb energy and good vibes in the process. Wouldn't be anything new. But he felt pressure in their place, an unexpectedly firm touch digging into his muscles and detecting knots Changbin didn't know were there to begin with.
Tiny, skilled hands handle Changbin’s muscles like they want to pulverize them, and it's the best massage he's gotten in his life— all his bones are suddenly malleable. He tries to follow the conversation even as his body begs to completely give up on him.
“He started going on about how astrology isn't real, it's for snobs, people who can't think for themselves. I told him to calm down, that I was just making conversation!” Felix drags his elbow back and forth along his trapezius, Changbin's eyelids fluttering shut. Focus, he has to remind himself. Words. They're being said. “He rolled his eyes— can you guys believe it? He rolled his eyes at me.”
“Rude,” Jisung agrees. Changbin lets him speak for both of them. If he opened his mouth, only an embarrassing noise would come out.
“Then he said he was a Capricorn, and I was like cool, I'm a Virgo. And oh my God,” Felix takes a deep breath, like he's experiencing the weight of disappointment all over again. “He brought up his ex because he was also a Virgo.”
Jisung winces. “Jesus Christ. How do they keep getting worse?”
Changbin contributes with a hum. All that training for a bit of prodding here and there to render him speechless, left to melt into the couch. Completely vulnerable. Felix is— oh, that feels good. Damn. Where was he? Ah, yes.
Felix is dangerous.
“I don't know. I don't know what it is about me that draws these idiots in. Do I look like I date pea-brained pricks?” He suddenly casts his gaze up, fixes Jisung with a glare. “Don't answer that.”
Jisung puts his palms up in the air. “Didn't say anything.”
Felix is… he's— poking at a particularly sensitive spot, flipping a switch and turning Changbin's filter off. “You’re magical,” he sighs.
“Yeah, exactly. I have many things to offer, like otherworldly looks and a long list of talents I excel at,” Felix rests his hands at the base of Changbin's neck and drags his thumbs down his nape, over and over again, pulling at taut skin. “Thank you, hyungie.”
“Hnng,” he groans eloquently.
Jisung shakes his head with a laugh, springing up from his perch on the beanbag he's been slowly molding to his shape to stand back on his feet. “I'll grab something to drink. You guys want anything?”
“No, thanks,” Felix smiles, sweet.
Changbin simply shakes his head, red-faced. The absence of one out of a mighty two listeners doesn't deter Felix from further complaining, just like having already turned his hyung into human clay doesn't stop him from massaging him until he's a beautiful flower vase. Or an ax, to use on his asshole dates.
“Maybe I should drop the apps for a bit, but where else am I supposed to look for love in this day and age?” He grumbles, soothing every area worked on with gentler, featherlight rubs. If Felix were to let go of him, Changbin's not sure his body would hold up on its own. “Like, no one would date me if I just went around asking guys on the street if they want to be my boyfriend.”
“I would,” Changbin says, brain two steps behind his loose tongue. When it catches up, however, he finds that there's no sign of a lie.
He tilts his head, thinking, and Felix takes it as his cue to follow the curve, stroking along his shoulder and giving his bicep its turn.
“Really— you would say yes if someone approached you at the, I don't know, grocery store and said hey, let's go out tonight?” He kneads the muscle between his hands, the heel of his palm acting as a barrier on one side as merciless knuckles work on the other. “It’s not unheard of, but. Out of nowhere? Maybe I'm too… techno-brainwashed, or whatever.”
Changbin wasn't picturing a faceless figure when the answer slithered its way out of his mouth. He saw a very familiar button nose; a comforting, dotted pattern on cheeks bunched up under the pull of a happy smile. He imagined Felix asking him to dinner out on the street, and himself seizing the chance to finally give him the night he deserves.
“Not someone,” He clarifies. Gradually, realization starts to sober him up. “You.”
Felix's hands falter for a brief moment, weakening his grip. He chuckles, breathy and nervous. “Sure.”
Changbin can almost smell their food, taste the wine, feel the weight of Felix's eyes on him across the table they'd share. He would like to— shit, it would be so utterly satisfying to be able to eclipse the memory of all those trashy men in one date, make it so they never cross Felix's mind again. If Changbin could get rid of all the bitter and leave him with just the sweet, be his sole supplier for as long as Felix allows him to be.
Oh. Well. Changbin hopes Jisung's stupid Instagram theory was at least peer-reviewed— worst case scenario, this is its first official test. He gulps.
“... You know my usual gym?”
Felix’s hands have stilled completely, only scarce fidgeting and their unmistakable warmth assuring Changbin that they're still there, skin-on-skin. “Yeah?”
“There's a small restaurant on the same block,” Changbin's fingers pick at a loose thread on the sleeve of his shirt, grazing Felix's knuckles in their flight up. “Have you ever been?”
Felix's pointer twitches, bumps against Changbin's. “No,” he says, way steadier than before. If he were still rubbing Changbin’s neck tender, Felix would probably feel his pulse jump, leap into a racing speed. “Is it good?”
Changbin swallows. “I usually order their tonkatsu. It's to die for, honestly.”
A moment to ponder, or a torturous second that stretches too long— depending on who you ask. When Felix takes his hands off of his body, Changbin feels the way his stomach plummets to his feet with visceral accuracy. He goes to turn with all the words needed to backtrack on the tip of his tongue, willing to call it a friend-date without cringing to save his own butt. Luckily, he doesn't get to.
“I'm sold,” Felix clings to Changbin's shoulders and pulls him out of his catastrophic thoughts. He gets on his tippy toes and bends forward so his face hangs upside down in front of Changbin's, grinning from ear to ear. “Tomorrow night?”
God, is he cute— awkward Spider-Man angle and all. Changbin can't fathom how any man could look at him and not think about a thousand ways to make that smile stay on. He pushes Felix back up with two fingertips on his chin, his own lips curving up.
“It’s a date.”
Felix squeaks, or maybe it's just that the massage has stopped and Changbin’s brain is finally allowed to melt through his ears. By the time Jisung comes back, it's still trying to glue itself together bit by bit.
.
It's not a five-star restaurant, but it's fine. Changbin picked it because it's cozy. Cushioned booths, warm toned lighting, just an elderly couple and their reluctant grandchildren running the whole place. He thought it the kind of ambience that would help them feel more comfortable, ease some of the this-is-new-territory worries. Only them, a full night ahead and old-lady hands ruffling their hairs once she's done taking their orders.
Felix is still staring down at his fingers and being uncharacteristically quiet, though. Changbin hoped awkwardness would wane as they settled, but it has stretched for long enough that he starts to second-guess his choice.
He clears his throat. “Hey, I'm sorry. I should've asked if you wanted to go somewhere else. We can still—”
“No!” Felix looks up, wide-eyed, and reaches for Changbin's hand in a panic. Changbin slots their fingers into place, neatly interlocked, and squeezes when Felix tries to pull back. “No, it's perfect here. It's lovely.”
“You sure?” Changbin insists. He cups his other hand around the back of Felix's, sandwiching it between his own, and starts to draw mindless circles on his skin. “You're… off. Is everything alright?”
Felix blinks, following the motions of his thumb. Round and round, sometimes against the clock. He pouts, touched by the gesture, and glances back up at Changbin.
“I guess I'm just nervous,” He admits, squirming in his seat. “I know you won't be an asshole to me or say something insensitive, or— well, it's clear you didn't stand me up, ha,” he tries to smile, albeit a bit wobbly, and takes a deep breath. “But it's been a while since I've let myself hope this much. I mean, I want it to work out. So bad. I think— us, we could—”
He's wearing lip-gloss, Changbin can tell, as well as highlighter on his nose and his eye's inner corners. Paired with longish blonde hair framing his face, he looks heaven-sent; the kind of beauty men used to claim as the trigger to their wars. Now, hundreds of years into the future, an angel asks for reassurance, and Changbin— the only lucky man this time around— would be a fool not to offer his heart bare.
“Me too,” he rushes to say. Felix blinks, scanning his face and picking up on the traces of honesty curving his mouth. “Seriously, just… yeah. Me too.”
Felix breathes a sigh of relief and leans forward, losing the tension he'd carried from home in one go. “I like you,” he says. “I've always liked you, you know?”
Always?
“I thought it was just something physical,” Changbin confesses, shrugging his shoulders. He can feel the heat on his cheeks, simmering peacefully before boiling point. “With the muscle thing, and everything.”
“I don't think it was ever strictly about that,” Felix says, sheepishly scratching at the back of his neck. “Even before we met in person, Jisung talked about you all the time. I didn't know how you looked, but you still sounded like a dream.”
Changbin clicks his tongue. “Come on.”
“I'm serious!” Felix sways their intertwined hands side to side, hooks his ankle on Changbin's calf under the table. He uses his fingers to count as things get listed. “Funny, caring, smart. In touch with your emotions, family oriented. I was like—” he squints his eyes. “Are you making this guy up?”
Changbin accepts the praise only so it can be redirected to his mother. “I was just raised by a wonderful woman,” he says. “... And relentlessly bullied by my big sister. It builds character.”
Felix laughs, ducking his head. A waitress comes to the table and makes a point of placing their drinks and glasses where it won't disturb their hand-holding. Changbin smiles at her before she disappears back into the kitchen.
“Jisung kept insisting, saying hyung’s really like that! I'll introduce you! When I saw you…” Felix hides behind his palm with a pitiful whine. “Well, you know how it went. It was so embarrassing.”
Changbin tugs on Felix's sleeve, trying to get him to come back out. Felix peers between his fingers, finds him smirking, and closes the window in his face. Changbin starts tugging again, grinning like a fool.
“It was cute,” he says.
“Jisung made fun of me for weeks,” Felix argues.
Changbin rolls his eyes. “He's done way worse in Minho's presence.”
Felix gasps, letting his hand drop to the table only so the magnitude of his incredulity can be better appreciated through his wide, sparkly eyes. “Oh my God. Did he tell you about yesterday?”
At Changbin's denial, he launches into the story of a lifetime. Starring Jisung, his unquenchable thirst for Lee Minho and the final move to make it crystal-clear he's available and looking to fuck. Changbin's not ready for any of it. Felix has a way of building suspense and dropping the craziest plot points with perfect timing, evoking the realest reactions Changbin's ever given to gossip. He chokes on soju, his own spit. Laughs around a bite of the famous tonkatsu until his belly aches.
“And it fucking worked, so,” Felix finishes, throwing his hands in the air. “Their weird mating ritual has come to an end.”
“They're really meant to be,” Changbin shakes his head with a laugh. “Like well-split wooden chopsticks.”
Felix points at him with his. “Yeah!”
The same waitress brings them dessert— a shared bowl of ice cream— and the conversation easily flows to a dozen different topics while they scoop huge spoonfuls for themselves. When there's just enough left for the last few bites, Felix dives in for his but pushes the strawberry slices on top to the side, having caught onto Changbin's preference for them. They smile at each other bashfully over the table, rushing to taste the cold and tame the fire of being known and caring enough to learn.
They decide on a night stroll as soon as they peek outside and catch the full-moon high in the sky, shining brighter than the flickering lamp posts lining the sidewalk. Felix links their arms and makes a game out of synching their steps, giggling into Changbin's shoulder every time they tug each other forward when the other trips. Slowly but surely, Felix lets his hand gravitate downwards, until his fingers are able to tickle Changbin's palm and slide into place. When he squeezes, Changbin squeezes right back.
“Did you have fun tonight?”
Felix tilts his head, flutters his eyelashes with a few, quick blinks. “Don’t tell me it's already over…?”
“No,” Changbin startles. The light turns green for them to cross the street, and he gently tugs Felix with him. “No, I just—”
“I’m teasing you,” Felix grins. He pulls Changbin's arm up and around himself, their intertwined hands perched over his shoulder, and snuggles into him like a baby chick getting comfortable under a wing. “I'm having a great time.”
Standing this close, Changbin catches a whiff of his shampoo— vanilla and something he can't pinpoint as fast. He tries to be sneaky with his sniffs, but Felix pushes the top of his head under his nose and makes it clear that he's failed spectacularly.
Changbin laughs softly against his hair, seeking more of that scent without roundabouts. “Good.”
“Were you worried?” Felix asks.
“At first,” he admits. “I wanted to make it good for you.”
“You did,” Felix's assurance comes easily, steady on its feet. Changbin can't help the surge of pride that puffs his chest a little extra. “You know, in my books you were the ultimate guy. You are, and every fiasco of a date I went through only served to prove it. I kept thinking— I need someone like hyung.”
“Lixie, I'm not…” Changbin sighs, eyebrows knitting together into a frown. Felix glances at him with a worried look of his own. “I mean thank you, that's nice, but I'm not perfect. Far from it. As much as I try to understand my emotions, they get the best of me sometimes. I fuck up, and I'm not… always funny, or smart like you might think.”
Felix clicks his tongue. “Hyung.”
“I do and say stupid things I regret all the time, like—”
“I don't think you're perfect, silly,” Felix hip-bumps him playfully, shooting for Changbin's waist when he threatens to lose balance. Felix giggles, running his hand up and down his side. “That's not what I meant.”
Changbin's face pinkens, and he hears his heart beat like a speaker booming right against his ears. Even after all the exposure to Felix's mindless touches over time, his easy displays of affection never fail to catch him off guard. Changbin's usually the one offering his arms and shoulders for others to find comfort in; Jisung calls it the hyung pill, most effective in any and all matters of the heart. He doesn't mind— he genuinely wears the badge of honor with pride— but it's truly a crime that it took him this long to discover how wonderful it is to be the one held so dearly in someone's arms.
“I don't want someone who denies having flaws,” Felix says, staring at him fondly. Dinner wiped most of the gloss off his lips, but the traces of glitter on his face remain untouched and glinting under the moonlight. Changbin's very own star show. “I want someone who admits they can work on themselves and actively does— you just proved that's the kind of person you are.”
Felix stops them on their tracks and turns to face him fully, hands shooting for Changbin's to link pinkies and stay close.
“What I mean is that I think you're you, and I like that more than anything else,” he confesses, chuckling softly as his ears take on a lovely shade. “I'd love to date you as much as I'd love it if we were to stay as friends, hyung. I just… I'm really glad that I get to have you in my life.”
“God,” Changbin breathes out, flustered, and ducks his head down and away from Felix's eyes. They speak to him as much as his mouth does, too earnest in their spark. “You're gonna kill me.”
Felix winces. “Too much?”
When Changbin looks up, all of his messy scribbles start to make sense. Your eyes filled with happiness… I just really like you. A familiar melody plays over and over for himself, still unfinished but begging to be heard.
“I wrote a song about you,” he blurts. Felix blinks, and his mouth opens prettily around a soft gasp. Changbin thinks the whole sequence might just inspire him to complete this track. Scratch that— it's enough to help him draft a full album. “I didn't even… it wasn't conscious. I just filled a whole page with lyrics a few weeks back and now it's stupidly obvious.”
Felix’s face lights up with a huge grin. “Are you serious?”
“If that's not too much for you, then nothing will be too much for me,” Changbin jokes.
"Can I listen to it?” Felix bounces lightly on the base of his feet, tugging on Changbin's hands like he wants to get to his computer's hard drive as soon as possible. “You can't say no. I'll die right here.”
Changbin laughs, endeared. “It’s not finished.”
“But when it is?”
A nod. “Sure, okay.”
“Okay,” Felix echoes, happy. “Okay. We can both be too much, then. I can ask you out on a second date before the first one's even over!”
He fits himself under Changbin's arm again, like he refuses to walk home without the warmth around his shoulders. Changbin draws him in, as close as he can without tangling their legs in every step.
“I can say yes,” Changbin plays along, smiling into his hair. Ah, vanilla and coconut. There it is. “And— hear me out, I know it's crazy, but I can also kiss you goodbye at the door.”
Felix leans his head on Changbin's shoulder and laughs. “I like the way you think.”
+
“Oh— hyung?” Felix startles, yanking his earphones out the moment he feels Changbin's arms wrap around him from behind. He relaxes into it with a sigh, head thrown back over his boyfriend's shoulder. “What're you doing awake?”
“Nightmare,” Changbin says. He can't even remember the plot, just that he woke up with his heart in his throat and to a sad, empty bed. His feet made a bee-line for Felix on autopilot. “Your side got cold.”
“I don't have much left to revise,” Felix notes, threading his fingers through Changbin's hair. “I'll be there in a bit.”
“Liar,” Changbin grumbles into the side of his throat, pressing lazy kisses to his skin. “You're making coffee. Again.”
Felix turns and joins their mouths, holding Changbin close by the nape as he melts against his lips. He tastes of it, too— bitterness dulled by spoonfuls of sugar and a drop of milk. Just how he likes it.
“Come back to bed,” Changbin whispers, sneaking his hands under Felix's shirt. He's still sleep-warm, and Felix’s resolve visibly starts to crumble when he feels it pressed against his skin. He shivers, goosebumps rising under Changbin's fingers. You need to rest.”
“I need to keep studying,” Felix argues, but it's weak. He loops his arms around Changbin's neck and buries his face into the side of it, like he's ready to fall asleep there and then. “Got a few pages left.”
Changbin cradles his cheek, thumbs gingerly over his freckles. With the pressure of midterms looming over his head, the bags under Felix's eyes seem to have only gotten heavier. His lashes flutter under Changbin's touch, and he's too slow to mask a yawn.
He sighs. “Baby…”
“A nap,” Felix finally admits defeat. “Just— an hour?”
Changbin doesn't argue that he needs eight to function. Instead, he pats his butt and kisses him one more time. “Sure. Go brush your teeth, hm? I'll clean up a bit and meet you in bed.”
Felix nods through another yawn and drags his socked feet all the way to the bathroom. Changbin wipes the counter, turns the stove off. He thinks about gathering Felix's notes into a pile but decides against it in the end, knowing his boyfriend will most likely re-read them one last time before leaving for class. Better if they stay right where he already knows they are.
Changbin turns the lights off last and heads back to his room, where he finds Felix trying to put his hair up into a low ponytail so it won't be too tangled in the morning. His eyes can barely stay open, and his fingers keep missing the tie. Changbin climbs onto the bed behind him and does it for him, twisting twice for good measure.
“D’you wanna talk about it?” Felix asks, as they finally settle to sleep.
Changbin makes sure they're both cozy, arranging the covers neatly around them and then offering his arm up as Felix's pillow. “Hm?”
“Your nightmare,” Felix says. He rests his head on the hill of muscle, hands coming up to Changbin's chest. One over his heart, the other on his sternum.
Think about what's real. Changbin always notices it— the exact second their breathing syncs up. It usually takes a while, but tonight Felix is so tired he lets himself be guided by the rise and fall beneath his palms from the start. In, out. What's more real than his boyfriend molding his warmth to his?
Changbin caresses Felix's cheekbones with the pad of his thumb, reverent. Just remember the stars. “Doesn’t matter now,” he says. “I've got you with me.”
“Cheesy,” Felix says, but tugs him by the neck of his sleep shirt for a kiss. He hums. “Love it, though. Keep being obsessed with me.”
Changbin doesn't need to be asked twice. He doesn't hesitate: “Done.”
“Argh— hyung.”
Felix scrunches his face up and gives in to the cuteness aggression with a bite to the mushiest part of Changbin's arm. It's his usual night routine, anyway: get comfortable, steal a kiss, nip the bicep closest to his eager teeth. Changbin is smiling when he ouch-es out loud, also on autopilot, and wraps around Felix like an octopus. God, that’s the dream— four extra limbs to hug his boyfriend with.
“Goodnight, Lixie,” he mumbles, nose buried in Felix's hair. Vanilla and coconut.
Felix melts into the embrace, face squished against Changbin's chest. “Night, babe. I love you.”
.
jutdwae
[Image]
good luck on ur exam angel
💪🏼 lol
yong.lixxx
AWOOGA
I'M GONNA ACE THIS TEST SO HARD THEY'LL LET ME GRADUATE EARLY