Chapter Text
“Little one? You may come out now, you’re safe,” a male voice with a distinctive accent fills the room.
Despite that, you still don’t move, hiding under a table, crying, frozen and trembling in fear.
The Jedi Order found you late. You were five standard when they brought you to the Temple a few days ago. You are a former slave, with no family, traumatized and malnourished. In your old life, all that was expected of you was work. Hard work. If you tried to do anything else – play, talk, rest – they would yell at you or beat you.
That’s why, at five years old, you know how to clean a room or repair clothing perfectly, but otherwise your development is way behind your peers. You’re afraid to express yourself, ask questions or otherwise engage in communication with others.
The Jedi Council – that’s what they’re called – decides that you need an individual, intensive care of a Master, rather than a collective one in the Crèche. Therefore, you are assigned to Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, reason being that he already raised a child with a slave background and knows how to handle it.
Master Obi-Wan seems nice. He smiles a lot, speaks softly and his eyes are strangely kind. You are still afraid of him though. He is a grown-up after all, and life has taught you to be wary of those. In your experience, they mean you harm and can’t be trusted. Even the ones who seem nice at the beginning always turn out to be awful one day. Will Master Obi-Wan be different?
This morning, on your second day of living with Master Obi-Wan, you went into the kitchen to get some breakfast. It took a lot of persuasion for you to take the meal. In your mind, you feel like you don’t deserve it. You haven’t worked at all ever since you arrived here – that means you don’t deserve to eat.
After much encouragement from your Master, you took a few bites but then… Oh no. Your work fell on the floor. You have no idea what followed, because next thing you know, you’re running through the halls and after that, hiding under a piece of furniture.
You let something fall from your hands. You broke something. And then you ran. Oh no. You’re getting a beating. What else could happen? When Master finds you, he will drag you out of your hiding place by your hair and yell at you and give you a beating and kick you and take your food away and-
“There you are, little one,” a large figure crouches down in front of you.
You instinctively move backwards, even further away from him, pressing against the cold wall behind you. You are so frightened you don’t really register what the man is saying. You just keep shaking and sobbing, trying to back as far away from him as physically possible.
“It’s okay, Padawan. No need to be afraid. I won’t harm you,” he smiles. “I promise.”
After Force knows how long, you finally begin to calm down a little to actually understand his words. Then, you finally recognize the man. It’s your Master. Master Obi-Wan. He’s… smiling. But that can’t be. You were so bad.
You can’t remember how exactly, but somehow, you find yourself exiting your hiding place. There, two big, strong arms pick you up. You whimper, expecting a blow.
“Shh, it’s alright, little one. I won’t hurt you. And I won’t let anyone else hurt you. You’re completely safe with me,” he assures you, wiping tears away from your face. He is… strangely gentle with you. But why? You don’t understand, you were bad, you were clumsy, you-
“Hey, can you look at me?”
You can’t. You are so terrified of eye contact. It almost always leads to pain.
“No? Well that’s okay,” the voice says, still calm and soothing. “Do you know where you are right now?”
What is the right answer? The Temple? Co-Co-… what is the name of the planet again? Or does he want you to say the name of the room you ran to? But you don’t know where you are! You start hyperventilating again.
“Hey, shhh, shhh, it’s okay, darling,” he attempts to pacify you, bouncing you up and down in his arms. “Let’s try something else, hm? Do you know who I am?”
You nod.
“What is my name?” he asks in an attempt to ground you, bring you back to reality.
“M- Ma- Mashtew O- O- Obi-Wan,” you whisper, still avoiding eye contact.
“That’s right, good job.”
He praises you? Wh- why? You can’t even pronounce his title correctly. You don’t deserve it. You deserve a beating right now, not nice words.
“You probably don’t even know where you ran to, little one, do you?” he asks softly, starting to walk slowly with you in his arms. “Would you like to know the name of this place?”
You nod hesitantly.
“This is a library. Can you say library?”
You shake your head. You aren’t very good at pronouncing words yet. And on top of that, this one has a lot of Rs and Ls! They’re hard. You can’t risk making a mistake. No. You’d rather stay silent. Nobody in your old life was interested in you talking anyway. All you heard when you did was “shut up” or worse.
“That’s okay, darling. It’s a difficult word, isn’t it?” he comments, sounding… understanding. “Do you know what a library is, Padawan?”
You shake your head again. Force, you are so stupid. What if Master Obi-Wan notices and-
“No? That’s okay, too. I guess you didn’t have many libraries where you come from. A library…,” he continues, pointing at the shelves around you. “…is a place where we store books. If you’d like, we can find one for you later and I will read it to you, hm?”
That sounds nice but… why is he so kind to you? Is this some a trick? Is he… will he-
Master Obi-Wan suddenly hugs you closer to his body and then shifts you in his hold, supporting your weight with one arm, while the other strokes – strokes, not strikes – your cheek.
“Let’s get back to our quarters, little one, okay? We may talk more there.”
Oh. Oh no. Here it comes. He will take you to a place where nobody else can see and there, he will hurt you. You’ve met men like him before. Ones who appear nice in front of others and then hurt you while nobody is looking. So you’re getting a beating after all. Or something worse.
Master Obi-Wan carries you back to the place where you ran away from. You stay still in his arms the entire time, hoping the punishment will be over quickly if you don’t struggle and just accept it. But when you enter the room, nothing happens. Master Obi-Wan still holds you gently and carries you back to the kitchen table.
“Now, let’s finish our breakfast, yes?”
You are so confused. So when is the punishment coming, if not now? Why is he still nice to you even when nobody else is there?
Master Obi-Wan must sense your turbulent emotions because he strokes your cheek again.
“Hey, little one, can you tell me whatever is the matter?”
You don’t say anything, only point towards the fork lying on the kitchen floor.
“Oh, let’s clean that up, shall we?” he approaches the place where the fork has fallen, picks it up and puts is into the sink. Then, he opens a drawer and takes out another one. “Let’s get you a new fork to eat with, yes?”
Then, Master Obi-Wan sets you down on a chair and gives you the fork, encouraging you to continue eating.
“But…,” you stutter. “
“What is it, Padawan?”
“I… I don’t deshewve it,” you whisper, not understanding why you are being rewarded for bad behaviour.
Master Obi-Wan kneels down beside your chair.
“Don’t deserve it…? Why would you think that, little one?”
“I wash bad,” you reply, still not daring to make eye contact with the man. “I can’t eat aftew I wash bad.”
“Wh- You weren’t or aren’t bad, darling. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do you think that because your fork fell down?”
You nod.
“Padawan, it’s perfectly normal that sometimes, thing fall out of our hands. I won’t be mad at you if that happens. And even… even if you did it on purpose, or even if you took this plate and broke it intentionally, I would never hit you or take your meal away. Never. And I still wouldn’t think you were bad. Do you understand?” he asks, his voice soft, gentle.
“Yesh, Mashtew Obi-Wan,” you reply, although you’re still extremely confused.
Then, your tummy rumbles, and Master Obi-Wan lets out an amused chuckle.
“I can hear your stomach would like to have some more breakfast, wouldn’t it? Eat now, little one.”
After you have reluctantly eaten, Master Obi-Wan leads you to a couch to talk. He lets you sit on it, and he does the same, but then, in the blink of an eye, leaves the couch again and kneels on the floor in front of you. It’s better like that, not having to look up. People who force you to look up at them are usually frightening.
“Little one, I would like to apologize if I wasn’t clear enough about what you may expect from me. Now I can see that prior to your arrival at the Temple, you may have endured… more than I previously thought.”
He pauses for a short while, reaching slowly towards you with his hand. You flinch. Then, however, Master Obi-Wan doesn’t do anything painful. He gently takes you hand in his, caressing your knuckles with his thumb. His hand is so much bigger than yours! But the sensation is weirdly pleasant.
“I need you to understand that you are my Padawan now. My apprentice, my pupil. But that doesn’t mean I own you. No. You aren’t mine to exploit and hurt. You are mine to teach, to protect, to care for. And I will do my best to do so,” he smiles, and you finally manage to look him in the eye, although only for a short while. “Now, I need you to know that you don’t have to fear me. I understand it might take some time for you to fully accept this as you probably had a good reason to be afraid of adults your entire life. But… I would like to promise you this: whatever you do, intentionally or not, I won’t hit you, yell at you, or take your meals away. You don’t have to be scared of me, ever.”
You, though still partly incredulous, smile slightly for the first time.
“Can you repeat what I just said? What will I never do to you?”
“No ‘itting,” you whisper.
“No hitting, that’s right. And…?”
“No yewwing… and… and no taking food away.”
“That’s right, my dear, good job,” he praises. “Now come, let’s pick some of those books from the library for you.”