Work Text:
Shouldering his bag and looking through the gym doors, Suga waited for Daichi to finish gathering his things.
“Ready, sorry for making you wait.”
“Not a big deal, I’m always waiting for you.” Suga said, a playful tone in his voice.
Daichi scoffed. “Lets go.” They locked up the gym doors and started on their way home.
“You staying over? My parents will be out late tonight, but it should be fine.” Daichi looked towards Sugawara who was lost in thought.
“Suga?”
“Hmm?” He jumped a bit, startled, and looked at Daichi and smiled in apology. “Ah- sorry, what were you saying?”
Daichi furrowed his brow and shoulder his bag that had slipped down his shoulder once more. He stared hard at his boyfriend before shrugging it off, thinking it best to let him work it out for a little while. “Are you gonna come over?”
“Oh, sure. What are we gonna eat for dinner?”
“Maybe we’ll order pizza or something.” Daichi shrugged. He looked down at Koushi who stared ahead, his gaze following the ground of the path in front of his feet.
“Are you alright?” Daichi finally questioned him, worried for him. He didn’t respond.
“Koushi?”
“Hmm?” He hummed quietly in faint recognition of his name being called, but not really registering it. Daichi grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Wahh-” Sugawara cried out in surprise, “You scared me, what was that for?” Daichi shrugged. “We’re almost home.” He didn’t let go of Suga’s hand.
In Daichi’s room, Suga sat on his bed and Daichi sat on the floor next to Suga’s legs waiting on the pizza to be delivered.
“What do you wanna do ‘til it get’s here?” Daichi wondered out loud, hoping for Suga to suggest something. He looked up at him. He was worrying at his bottom lip and staring out the window.
“Suga?” No response.
Daichi climbed up onto the bed next to him and held his arm, grabbing his attention.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Ah, nothing I’m just thinking about the new setter. Kageyama.”
“What about him?”
“Nothing really.”
“You’ve been out of it for a while now, please talk to me.” Daichi pleaded with him. Suga looked to the floor, shuffling his feet against the carpet in front of Daichi’s bed.
“He’s gonna be the regular.”
“Well, we don’t know that yet.”
Suga bit down on his lip again and shook his head, brows furrowed,, the crease between them intense and upset.
“He’s better than I am, Daichi. You don’t understand. I-it’s not like I’m not happy for him you know? But…”
“This is your last year.”
“This is my last year.” Suga repeated. “And, I guess I feel like I’m not really needed, you know? I don’t know if I’ve always been like this, but lately I need to be reassured that my presence is wanted, or a necessity,” Daichi listened, waiting patiently for Suga to finish. He ran his hand down his arm and locked fingers with Suga. “And I know I’m being childish, but if I left right now, the team would be just fine? And I don’t want to leave, not at all. I love them. I love the guys there, I love Tanaka and Asahi, I love hanging with and playing with Ennoshita and Narita and Kinoshita. I love being with you. But…” his voice trailed off into a whisper. “I’m just not good enough to be needed anymore.”
Daichi squeezed his hand and Suga bit down on his lip again, harder this time. Daichi leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, pulling his bottom lip from his worrying teeth. He tasted blood.
“Look at me. You are needed. I need you. Ennoshita, Tanaka, Asahi, we all need you. The new first years? They’ll need you. You provide a comfort that not many people can offer, no matter the situation. Whether Kageyama becomes the regular or not will not change that we all need- want you to be there with us.” Suga went back to tugging on his lip with his teeth. Daichi tugged on his lip to get him to stop. “You are so skilled at what you do, and we know you love to do it. Please don’t give up because of one hiccup in the road.” He looks in Suga’s eyes.
“You know, it’s okay to cry.”
Suga looked at him, almost flabbergasted. He squeezed Daichi’s hand and looked down, his shoulders shaking lightly. Daichi heard a few sniffles come from Suga, and he slumped against Daichi.
“You’ll still need me?” He asked shakily.
“I’ll always need you.”
“You’ll still want me?” He gripped onto the front of Daichi’s shirt, knuckles white, voice cracking.
“I’ll always need you. All of us will. Always.” He places a hand on Suga’s back and rubs in circles, kissing the top of his head over and over. Suga’s body racked with sobs and hiccups, until he finally calmed down enough to breath properly.
“Sorry.” He apologizes to Daichi once he’s calmed to a few sniffles every few minutes.
“What for?”
“You know what for.” Suga nudges him gently and smiles softly, a genuine Sugawara smile. Daichi cups his face in his hands and runs his thumbs under his eyes, and pecks his lips.
“I love you.”