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Suguru could feel the anger rising inside him. The ongoing screaming void that had haunted him for months ever since that monkey had come into jujutsu high. He couldn’t feel anything but rage and sorrow. These two scared girls stared back at him begging for understanding that would not; could not come from these monkeys. It would be so easy to let the curses swelling underneath his skin out. To let them suffer the result of their own hatred, their own fear. But more than that he could sense someone else coming through the door. “What are you doing here? You should not have come.”
“Suguru” the word dripped sweetly off his tongue forcing Suguru to back up “What are you talking about? We haven’t had a mission together in months and you know I miss you.”
“No.” The lone word from Suguru sent Satoru reeling. He knew something was off with Suguru- had been off for months but he just couldn’t understand why Suguru would keep him in the dark. They were supposed to share everything. How come there seemed to be this gap between them, a gaping maw of silence. Gojo couldn’t understand since when did they fall apart from the strongest duo.
“Suguru.” Satoru paused heartbeats passing as he looked at Suguru. At how much Suguru had changed the lankness of his hair, the unhealthy sallow of his skin. “Since when…?” The words stuck themselves into Satoru’s throat. “I am so sorry, I should have come sooner. I shouldn’t have...” He trailed off for once he didn’t know what to say, no quick retort fell from his lips. The words were sticking to his lips like the most bitter of caramels. “I shall remain by your side.” Satoru slipped into the formal language he could use hours upon years of formal studies to make him the most successful weapon for his clan, the most familiar language he knew in stressful situations. For the first time needing to use it around his one and only.
“No. Satoru.” Suguru’s voice was hoarse. He had spent so long barely speaking only swallowing curse after awful curse he didn’t know if he could speak smoothly any more. The words breaking in his mouth “Listen to my words.” He couldn’t quite spit out. Listen to me because every part of him wanted Satoru to be here to be with him. “You should not have come.” His words changing automatically to match the formal tones of Satoru’s. He had not planned what every inch of his being was telling him to do to those monkeys. But he couldn’t have Satoru here to be apart of this. He had made his choice; he needed to do something for Haibara, for the girls crying in the cell, for what that monkey did to himself, for the Satoru who had been ripped apart. “I do not want you here.”
“Suguru?” Satoru’s voice started to waver.
Suguru’s voice started to become more sure the words spitting out smoother “Go back to Jujutsu high. Please. Forget you ever came here.” The silence hung brazenly in the air, the girls inside the cell, even the flies feasting on the rapidly cooling corpses outside the room fell still. The silence persisted until Suguru could take Satoru’s soft face any more. “Do you hear me? I said go back to Jujutsu high. That is where you live. That is where you belong.” This is where Suguru had to break the ties between them. Gojo had changed from the unaware self serving brat he had been in the first year, unable and unwilling to look past anyone himself to see anyone else. In the ruin of the strongest the monkey had left behind someone who could look past himself and see others the way Suguru once had.
Suguru ignored the fact it hadn’t been because of Toji that Satoru had started to care about others. It was because of Suguru. The hundreds of times Suguru had walked with Satoru talking to him not placing him up on a pedestal or twisting him to become a weapon which could think for itself. Suguru had taken a hurt and wounded child, ignoring the world, and allowed warmth and understanding to fill in the cracks. Suguru had felt himself twisting; had felt the duty he once felt for those weaker than him flood out of the scars and knew Satoru wasn’t going to help him down the path he could see no way out of.
“Go.” Suguru didn’t turn his back, he couldn't, he had to see Satoru leave. But he could see Satoru baring down on his feet. So he knew that Satoru that Gojo wasn’t going to leave without more prompting. “What are you even doing here? Come to prove that you, the six eyes, the Gojo’s clan prized weapon. Are the only one who can do missions by themself. To make decisions.” A bitter pause “Are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest or are you the strongest because Satoru Gojo?” All Suguru could see was Satoru’s trembling frame in the doorway. Rage and fear and bitter deep regret filled Suguru’s body. He had made his choice and he couldn't stop now. Killing the two monkeys earlier wasn’t enough. Could never be enough, his voice echoed into a scream “I do not want you here. I do not want you. I never want to see you again. Leave.''
Satoru couldn’t stop the way he was shaking how much Suguru’s words cut into him, how much his one and only was the only one who could hurt him this way. “No.” But he wasn’t going to leave no matter what Suguru said he had made the mistake of listening to Suguru earlier allowing himself to be distracted by Suguru’s comments of the heat being responsible. “No Suguru.”
“Satoru.” The rage fell away as he looked into Satoru’s celestial eyes. Suguru couldn’t tell you when the bandages Satoru now used had disappeared but being seen by those eyes made him weak and more determined than ever to keep Gojo away from him. Gojo didn’t deserve any of this. He could remember one night where Satoru was sat across from him and Shoko and told them that he had been on missions since he was a child. That since birth he was to be the sorcerer. Satoru had no idea what he was born into; he had no choice. Suguru couldn’t drag him into something else.
“You cannot force me away. I will not go.” Satoru stepped forward, the door slipping shut behind him as he moved enough infinity stopped holding it open. “Whatever it is you have done or have planned I will not go.”
“I command it! Go!” The rage came back to Suguru couldn’t Satoru see that he was doing this for him so he didn’t have to be a weapon any more; for the two girls behind him cursed, hated, and locked up; for the child Suguru once was ignored the second he was too old for imaginary friends, shunned for the evil’s he would talk about for the disgusting vomit and shit balls he had to choke down so these filthy monkeys could live in blissful ignorance.
Before his thoughts could spiral any more, Satoru's voice broke through like an arrow. “I will stay. Right here. I command it.” The force of his words drained the rage until Suguru was lent against the wall and all he could do was plead.
“Please. Satoru. Please go.” Rage hadn’t worked all that was left of Suguru was bitter pleading it had been months since Riko had died; months since Gojo had learnt how to keep his infinity activated at all times; months since Suguru had tried to touch Satoru always afraid that he wouldn’t be able to breach infinity the actual barrier proving the difference in strength that existed between the two of them.
“No.”
Suguru closed his eyes “Satoru, you are not listening-” but before he could finish Satoru interrupted for the first time that night his voice was calm.
“I am. I can hear you.” Satoru stepped forward drops of blood and rain water seeping in from the roof being forced to slide around him. “I have heard that you wish I had not come, that you want me to go, that you do not want to see me-”
“Satoru.” Suguru sighed out as always the name tasted sweet in his mouth. But he couldn’t open his eyes.”
Satoru continued as if he was never interrupted “What I have not heard is that you do not love me.”
The air hung heavy in shock Suguru opened his eyes. He couldn’t wrap his head around what Satoru had just said. It didn’t make any sense. None of this made any sense he expected condemnation over the bodies in the hall; hell he was shocked Satoru turned up. Maybe this was just some twisted curse to give him what he had been craving, what he has been longing to hear- to say but could never actually get out in words.
“I have left you alone as you wished. I failed. The most important mission we had. I failed. I couldn't stop Toji from coming after you. I stayed away from you since I failed and I couldn’t be part of the strongest any more. I have gone on mission after mission to try and prove that I can be worthy to you. I have been suffering alone and believing I am a failure as your friend; your best friend; as someone who loves you because you stay from me as though I am a disease. As if I am weak.” Satoru stepped forward again towards Suguru hands clenching.
“And then today it quite suddenly occurred to me that perhaps there is another reason. Perhaps you stay away from me because you also feel like you failed. That you have felt the same, that you are unworthy. That you care for me. Perhaps you stay away because you love me. Do you love me?”
“I am trying to protect you-” Suguru couldn’t answer that question months ago the answer would have been easy to say it would have just been another step in their relationship as easy as breathing. Before Yuki’s words it would have been hard but they would have still slotted together. Even yesterday it would have been easier to accept. But now he had made this decision that non sorcerers weren't worth protecting; how could he let Satoru in. It would just bring more pain and suffering and another thing for the higher ups to use to manipulate and force Satoru to do their bidding.
Satoru again interrupted, not wanting to hear anything other than an actual answer “Do you love me?
“I cannot...we cannot...this conversation is not...I cannot do this.” Suguru’s voice was breaking, evident in every stuttered word.
“Do you love me?” Again Satoru asked, demanding an answer.
“Satoru please. Stop!” Suguru’s voice is angry but he still caresses Satoru’s name the same way he always does with deep affection. He can't do this though Satoru is breaking his heart.
“Is it that you do not believe that I could love you? I do. I love you, Suguru.” There is silence, Gojo feeling his own racing heartbeat. All he could do now was lay out everything he had and hope. “I do not remember what it is to not love you. I love you so much that I will do as you wish. If you do not love me. All that you have to say is that. That you do not love me and I will go. I will leave here and go back to Jujutsu high and wait for the report that says you were here and... and we can live our separate lives and I will be the strongest alone and make do and fill my days hunting curses and survive all on my own.” Satoru is pleading, his own heart breaking. Stepping forward so he is standing just short of infinity’s border, drops of water still falling from overhead.
“I will do that. But first Suguru you have to say that you do not love me. You have to tell me that I am utterly alone in this world.” Satoru begs anger evident in his tone he has to know, has to know if he has lost the most important person in his life.
The words take infinite heart beats to settle, hanging there between them. As they stare at each other neither one of them wanting to break the silence. The rain overhead gets louder, the wind echoing through the wooden building. Lighting flashes through the windowsill followed slowly by the clap of thunder and Suguru blinks and turning his head to the side he sees the children in the cage clinging to each other before turning back to Satoru.
“I am a madman.” The responsibility of his choices settling in he had made the impulsive choice to go after the non sorcerers in the room, but he didn’t regret it. Not after seeing what they would do to two innocent children but he knew that this choice had consequences how he would be seen now. “I am a danger. I can’t stand looking at those…” the words stuttered out Suguru took a breath and once again looked once at the floor before his eyes returned to Satoru his hands almost reaching out. “I am so angry I can’t stand it. How can- why should we have to. I my mind is filled with so many colliding things I don’t know if I want to do what I have decided I have to do. I don’t know who I am any more.” Suguru didn’t regret his choice but he didn’t want Satoru involved.
“Do you love me?” Satoru stared at Suguru, still demanding an answer.
“You do not wish a life with me for yourself. No one wishes that. Not now. I made my choice.”
Suguru! I will stand with you between the higher ups and between non jujutsu sorcerers. I will be beside you no matter what you choose. I will stand with you between the heavens and the Earth. I will tell you who you are. You are Suguru Geto, one half of the strongest duo. Now do you love me?!”
Suguru can not help but reach out his hand bracing for the movement to be slowed but his hand slips right through the barrier even as the rain drips down and avoids Satoru. “I love you. How could I not? From the moment I saw you. When I saw you for the first time, the most arrogant person I had ever seen mouthing off to Yaga, I have loved you desperately. I cannot breathe when you are not near.” Suguru took deep gasping breaths, his hand stroking Satoru’s face “I love you, Satoru. My heart calls your name.”
Suguru pulls Satoru closer, lips almost touching, the feel of their panting breaths could be felt but Suguru couldn’t take that final movement for their lips to slip together he couldn’t condemn Satoru with his kiss. Satoru did not have that problem pushing his head forward to kiss Suguru’s lips. Years of pining broke through and all they could do was attempt to be closer and closer. Lips parted and for glorious heartbeats all they could think and feel were each other. Eventually they had to part still softly kissing before Suguru kissed down Satoru’s neck sucking little hickies, before pulling himself away enough to look Satoru in the eye.
“I wanted to tell you, I wanted you to know my thoughts but how could I burden you with the knowledge of my madness of my hate. When all you bring is light and I am just hate and darkness.”
“My sun.” Suguru just stares at him confused. Satoru moves his hands up from where they were clutching at Suguru’s back. “How could you ever be darkness? Even your rage is caring. You burn like the sun giving everything up for others. Destroying yourself to do so.” Tilting their heads together giving bunny kisses before pulling slightly away. “Now what was your plan?” His fear had gone and Satoru switched back into the familiar cantor of his informal speech.
“I didn’t really have one. I just couldn’t let them harm the- Fuck.” Suguru broke off his eyes wild with panic and turned around to the cage. “Umm.
The blonde girl in the cage stared up at the two figures unsure what exactly was going on the black haired man had tried to explain that they weren’t evil to Hiroko-San and sent weird black smoke to tell them that it was going to be okay and suddenly everything had changed for a minute it felt like they were going to be free of this cage of these people . Then a different man came and they were forgotten. Nanako turned to her sister Mimiko and seeing how hurt she was she was determined to speak up. Even if these guys meant her harm they couldn’t stay here. Who knows how long it would take for anyone to look for them and the dead bodies outside would definitely be blamed on them.
“Are you going to?” But she still didn’t know what to say. It had been a long week and an even longer day and she was so tired of being scared and hurt.
“Hey there.” To her surprise it wasn’t the man with dark hair Suguru who spoke but the white haired man. “You ready to get out of here?” She couldn’t stop staring, she could feel Mimiko going the same. This man was just so beautiful, and he fit so well next to Suguru. They shined together complementing each other.
“Satoru, wait, where can we take them?” But Suguru had already reached forward and snapped the lock off with his bare hands. Before kneeling down, reaching out his hands.
“Back to the school of course, where else would we take them?” Satoru didn’t bother bending down, just looked at them over Suguru’s shoulder and Mimiko couldn’t stop staring at his eyes. No one had eyes like that. She had only seen one picture of a person with blue eyes and even then they looked nothing like his.
“Maybe somewhere where I won’t get arrested. I did just kill several m-” This pulled Mimiko away from looking at Satoru and turned to stare at her twin. They both agreed without needing to speak that they won’t say anything to anyone if it means they get to be free from this place from this town.
“Ah, just let a curse out and blame it on the one you were sent here to kill. I mean no one saw you kill them right? So what’s the big deal? As long as you don’t make a habit of it.” Satoru didn’t like that Suguru had killed, he was in fact the one to say that people should protect those who are weaker than themselves but it didn’t matter to him. This was just a break that happened because of that Fushiguro guy and the higher ups being the worst as usual.
“Or what I’ve started down this path.” Suguru felt the tiny hand being placed in his and his thoughts lead him back to the last time a young girl held out her hand and asked to be saved. This time was going to be different, he swore.
“We didn’t see anything.” Nanako piped up not understanding all of the context but knowing enough that Satoru was offering an out to her saviour. Her twin nodding next to her. “You saved us, we'll say whatever you need us to say.” She had to let her saviour know that she wouldn’t betray him.
“See all fixed, you can stop or you can continue but no kisses.” Satoru pouted. Suguru had to feel the need to kiss him the way Satoru was feeling right? He could definitely last a day without kisses that would be enough to punish Suguru right? Maybe an hour or two. Yeah, Satoru decided he could do that.
“What?” Suguru couldn’t believe that this was Satoru’s threat; it just brought attention to his sweet puffy lips. But this was his plan? Could he give up killing monkeys just so he could kiss Satoru. He didn’t have to think to know the answer would be yes but Satoru was flexible; he could definitely kill some monkeys, the ones who would hurt sorcerers like this.
Satoru thought for a second and came up with a better idea. “For every non sorcerer you don’t kill, you get kisses.” Positive reinforcement this way he gets to kiss Suguru, save humans, and help Suguru out of whatever nonsense someone had placed in there perfect.
“Is this really your plan?” Suguru had not been prepared for how any of this night had gone and had given up trying to understand Satoru’s thoughts for some reason he was here, and loved him. Suguru would do anything to keep him happy and safe. And if he had to go back to what he was doing before he could do that in return for kisses of course. And the occasional murder.
“Isn’t it great?” Satoru was bouncing on his feet giddy sure this night had started off terribly but he had a boyfriend now and Suguru had said he loved him and this night was great.
“Satoru.” He sighed and picked up both of the girls in front of him. “It is.”
Satoru smiled, drawing a smile from Suguru. “We can do this together.” Before leaning forward and kissing him again. “Now come on I can’t see a single cake shop in this place and I’ve been dying for a red velvet cake. Oh and speaking of kids.”