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Her heart was still racing.
Her voice, quivering.
Fingers, trembling.
“That was…”
“Nina, you're…”
She looked at Momoka, meeting pale blue eyes that glowed in the rainy Tokyo night. The last few notes of the song had long been washed away by the rain, but they still rang in her ears. She didn't have any other words to describe this, it was simply…
“Amazing.”
Did all Tokyo nights feel this… long?
Nina stared at the ceiling, moonlight creeping in more and more by the minute. She usually didn't have this much trouble sleeping back at home, so it must be a Tokyo thing, right?
There was this, feeling, in the air that she didn't know how to describe, one that made her feel nervous and tense. The wind felt stagnant at times, making it hard to breathe. Even the rain seemed colder here. It soaked deep into her bones and chilled her very core.
But that didn't matter.
Here in Tokyo, she was finally free.
This was her new start, her chance to make everything right. To prove them wrong, to show the world that she could do it.
Everyone back there, those who threw her aside and treated her like dirt, they would get what they deserved. Try seeing the world turn black for once, red seeping through the edges of their vision, pulsating and swallowing everything in sight. Maybe even two middle fingers in their faces, just to rub salt into the wound. It probably wouldn't compare to what she felt back then, the fear, the pain, the loneliness, but as long as they ended up going through the same, then she'd—
An arm crashed onto Nina’s chest, turning the world back to pale blue.
“Momoka-san…”
She looked over and was greeted by Momoka's sleeping face, mouth wide open and snoring even louder than her guitar-playing.
“You’re noisy.” Nina’s voice was barely above a whisper, but sounded a bit harsh. She didn't want to wake Momoka up, but she had to get the point across no matter what. Luckily, Momoka was out like a lightbulb (...which she still had to get).
Nina let out a sound that was in-between a groan and a sigh. Who knew her favourite singer slept like an old man? Nevermind that, how did she even end up taking in the Momoka of Diamond Dust for the past few nights?
(It just sort of happened. Momoka was temporarily homeless, and the thought of her having to sleep on the streets made Nina yell. She insisted the guitarist stay at her place for the night, and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. One night turned into two, two into three, and now? Momoka was acting like she owned the bed, taking up all this space and whatnot.)
Maybe this was why people said to never meet your idols. Your favourite star could never live up to your expectations, and you'd end up feeling betrayed and lied to. After all, without the spotlight shining on them, they were just human.
But Nina didn’t regret meeting Momoka even one bit.
She first saw Momoka at the DiaDust live. It was the first thing Nina had been looking forward to in a long time, enough for her to hop on the train and journey to the next town over. True to the band’s name, Momoka was shining under the spotlight, singing her heart out. She was bright, so bright, and Nina couldn’t tear her eyes away. How could she? Momoka’s voice was the reason she kept hanging on, her lyrics giving her the strength to see another day, and listening to Momoka’s music was the only time she felt glad to be alive. She didn’t know when she could next see DiaDust again, so it was a once-in-a-lifetime chance for her. That’s why Nina couldn’t look away. She had to burn Momoka’s glow into her memory, even if it meant blinding herself in the process.
Meeting Momoka in Tokyo was completely unexpected, really. Getting to catch her street performance was already lucky enough, but also being treated to dinner and given somewhere to stay that night? It still didn’t feel real. Even with Momoka fast asleep next to her, it felt like Momoka would simply disappear into thin air if Nina poked her.
So Nina did just that.
She poked Momoka in the cheek. Momoka didn’t even stir a bit and continued snoring away. Just how much of a heavy sleeper was she?
Nina let out a breath she didn’t even know she’d been holding in. At least Momoka didn’t disappear, of course she wouldn’t. Why did Nina even think that in the first place? Was she stupid? Momoka wasn’t some sort of ghost or illusion that she dreamed up. She was a real, living and breathing human.
Too human, in fact.
The past few days let Nina see just how flawed this diamond really was. From getting herself into fights, to drinking herself stupid and almost throwing up on the bed, the Nina from a while back would be devastated hearing about it. But seeing Momoka like this somehow made her more approachable? She wasn’t just the Diamond Dust’s Momoka anymore, but just… Momoka.
But still, she shone.
Nina couldn’t forget the night they performed together in the rain, even if she tried. The trembling of her fingers, her frantically beating heart, those sensations never really left. But what she remembered most was how bright Momoka glowed.
It was a dimmer light than before, without the glaring spotlight on her. Still, she was shining in the rainy Tokyo streets, captivating as ever. Nina couldn’t stop looking at Momoka as she played, like a moth darting towards the light. Momoka may have wanted to quit music, but after that performance, Nina knew. She knew that despite all that, Momoka’s love for it still burned brighter than ever, so much that she was still shining to this day.
“Don’t quit.”
Nina’s voice was shaky.
“Please don’t quit. I won’t forgive you if you do.”
Her fist was clenched.
“Please, Momoka-san.”
I’m only here because of you.
If you give up, then am I destined to fail too?
“Ack.”
Momoka winced at the pain in her shoulder and picked herself off the ground. Thankfully, her rolling off the bed didn’t seem to wake Nina up. She was sleeping soundly now, with a faint line of drool coming from the side of her mouth. If someone saw her like this, they would almost mistake her for a shy but goofy girl.
But she was far from that. Instead, she was a walking ball of contradictions, dragging people into her business however she pleased, all according to her own whims. And her latest victim?
“Why me?” Momoka let out a defeated snort.
How did a half-assed, washout of a musician like her get wrapped up in all this? She was ready to give it all up, and yet. One country bumpkin was enough to make her falter. It really was pathetic.
Still, Nina’s singing made her remember. Why she came out here in the first place, how much she actually enjoyed music. This newbie singer shook something within her, hell, maybe even tugged at her heartstrings a bit.
Maybe, just maybe, Nina was right. Just flip the world off, continue singing and playing guitar just like usual. Who knows, maybe things would finally work out for once. Keep going at it, and perhaps she could finally get another chance to fulfil these “music dreams” of hers, whatever they were by now.
Momoka stood up and looked down at Nina.
Don’t quit, she said.
“...I’ll think about it.”
No guarantees though.