Chapter Text
Revenge & Rescue
The T3 open their eyes to a sight both familiar and yet…not.
Even near the edge of a desert, it's clear that a nether-borne fungus has taken root in the overworld. It either will or already has choked out all uninfected forms of life.
But the strange thing is that instead of the too-bright crimson they're familiar with, everything is vivid teal– warped fungus.
While the other two put on their masks, Vio frowns at a huge vine thicker around than he is. "Blue Egg? Have we seen that before?"
Voice muffled by the gas mask, Day tells him, "Only in the SMPza. I don’t think we're there, though."
Theo hums doubtfully, carefully scanning their surroundings. "I dunno; feels fuckin’ familiar. Fates're saying something about no water?"
Vio goes entirely still for a beat, and then starts quickly moving into the desert proper. Day and Theo follow with nothing more than a confused glance between them. They trust that if Vio is acting like this, then he has a hunch.
That, and it’s a really bad idea to split up in this sort of world. In a scenario where Theo and Day are both infected, then Vio needs to either get them back before the Egg takes full control, or else kill them to save Sanctuary and countless other realities from the parasitic hivemind.
They trudge across the sands in silence for what feels like ages, but eventually they reach a horribly familiar location.
The Fates hiss and murmur amongst themselves at the remains of a sand trap, evidently half set off by the elements.
Theo doesn’t need their commentary to know exactly where they are. The paltry shack and every tiny detail of the landscape are seared into his memory.
And that’s how he knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that something is off. He strides to the half-ruined sand trap– don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it– and brushes away debris until he finds a button.
He withdraws his sword, motioning for the other two to do the same. The near-silent sound of weapons being drawn accompanies him pressing the button.
Pistons quietly spring to life, revealing a tunnel down into the ground. He steps lightly, as do the others.
The path is deep; it isn’t until they’ve hit deepslate that there’s the sound of anything more than torches, their breathing, and their footsteps.
Distantly, he hears water.
Stop Looks weird right here Pull the lever, Kronk!
Theo doesn’t bother to even roll his eyes, grabbing the nearest torch and tugging on it. It swings out, revealing what looks to be a retrofitted bar.
But that’s not what really has his attention. No, no– what he cares about are the people within it. He almost doesn't believe it; it's too perfect of a setup.
Quackity, Eret, Punz, and Niki.
Now he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt they're in the SMPza. He recognizes the death scar across the pink merfolk's throat and the fear in her eyes.
"You're dead," she whispers, hands tightening around her trident. It wavers softly as she repeats, "You can’t be here, you're dead!"
A bark of incredulous laughter rises up. "Ohhh…Nihachu Nihacu, Nihachu. Haven't you heard? Theseus Was-Taken doesn’t die. N', unlucky for you…gods aren't on your fuckin' side!"
Punz takes a step forward, his axe blocking the path like he would be enough to make a difference. Even if he once might have been, he’s down an arm and looking worse for wear. "It doesn’t matter– whatever your beef is–" "My fuckin' beef is that she used my family against me," Theo hisses. The edges of his words curl with the pressure of the Fates, who call for a long overdue payback for her actions.
End her destiny End her destiny End her destiny END HER DESTINY, they cry, and Theo would love nothing more than to indulge them.
They must be here for a reason, though. A nasty one, if the vines out where they first showed up are any indication.
"And now we have to work together– you don't have to like it, but if you just– kill her now, we're all dead," Punz insists.
It's Day who speaks up. "No, actually. We have a safe haven. The Egg can't take root there. But…she can't come."
Quackity asks, "But– how do you know it’s really safe? The Egg keeps…evolving. The desert is the last place it can’t get into, but…"
Judging from how the thick blue vines had started creeping into the biome, even that is starting to fail.
"It's a long story," Day answers, shrugging a shoulder. "Can you really afford to stay, though? This isn't an open offer. Once we leave, we're not coming back. Everyone left behind will die."
Three conflicted expressions and one horrified one meet that. Niki argues, "You can't just–! I'm not going to die to you. I'm not going down without a fight."
Theo tsks softly, shaking his head. "I'm not gonna kill you, Nihachu." "...What?"
His voice drops. "That's too fuckin' merciful. I'm gonna leave you here to rot. You're gonna have to choose what fuckin' gets you– lack of resources, the Egg, or your own hand."
Punz protests, "That's fucking sadistic–" "Niki made her own damn bed by crossing us several times over," Day reminds him. His tone is laced with a warning; he might extend his hand more often than he curls it, but by no means is he a pushover. "And it is at our discretion that refugees can come back with us or not. She's not welcome in our home. If you feel that bad about it, then you can stay and die with her."
Desperation creeping up, Niki turns to Vio. "Purpled, come on– you can't seriously be on their side. Since when do you care about them?"
Vio makes a face like he’s taken a bite out of a lemon. "Niki Nihachu, even if I didn't have a working relationship with them, or was aware of what it feels like to nearly lose someone I care about–"
Under his breath, Theo mutters a familiar joke about not-sons. The warrior then neatly evades the attempted swipe of the alien's tail. Vio continues, as if it hadn’t happened, "--There is no force in heaven or hell that could compel me to make enemies out of Theo and Day. That was true before I knew much about them. It is even more true now. I won't help you, and won't even lose sleep about this. You're on your own."
Silence lingers for several moments, and then, unexpectedly, Quackity walks forward. "Nothing would change if I stayed, except that I'd die, too. I don’t want to die like that– just waiting for the inevitable. I'm going."
His chin is held high, but he’s shaking a little. Theo smiles, and inclines his head. "Smart fuckin' choice."
The duck hybrid's stride falters a moment when he gets such a positive reaction. The small wings by his face flare in surprise. Based on how limp and dull the feathers look, he hasn't been handling the stress of the Eggpocalypse terribly well.
The next is Eret, just a beat or two later, who admits, "I don't…want to die, either. I might not be able to see Atlas, Orpheus, and Daedalus again–"
"They’re fine. Thriving, actually; Sanctuary is a good place. Give them your apologies in person," Day interrupts. He taps his throat, a little quirk of a smile forming. "I'm surprised you kept that, and more surprised you're wearing it now."
Eret sucks in a sharp breath, their hand flying to the earring they've strung on a cord to wear as a necklace. The earring is just a few beads on a piece of wire that's just meant to be worn around the shell of an ear.
A long, long time ago, it had been given to them by Atlas as proof of L'manburg's bond. After Fundy's betrayal for Eret's sake…
Eret wasn't exactly considered a friend to the Was-Taken family after that. It didn't matter that they were just as blindsided; the brothers had closed ranks and shut them out.
Under most circumstances, the earring would have been discarded. Instead, it's treasured enough that it’s being worn during the end of the world.
Weakly, they ask, "They’re– they're all okay? How?" "Long story," Day repeats.
There's a dazed nod, but Eret steps forward to stand with them.
Vio inclines his head. "Punz. I might not like you much as a person, but dying cornered like a rat doesn't suit you. And…we both know that her death isn't just inevitable, it's the consequences of her own actions."
To everyone's surprise, he extends a hand. "You'd like Sanctuary. You never need to compromise your stupidly idealistic morals again. You can get a prosthetic arm tailored to your needs, along with technicians and doctors who make sure it functions as it should. There are no wars and no death. We are at peace."
Day smiles. It’s not a kind one. "Peace that would be destroyed by letting her enter our server. She has had plenty of chances to do better, and yet…here we are. There is no scenario in which she comes back with us."
Niki collapses to the sandy floor of Drywater's speakeasy. Vio had learned of it only after Caul decided to join him in Sanctuary– and thus far too late to be of any use to the Was-Taken family.
Weakly, the merfolk begs, "Punz– you can't just leave me here to die alone. That's– after everything we've been through–"
"I'm not kidding about us not coming back," Day warns. "This is your only chance. The Egg is only going to get worse to deal with. Your remaining resources will get depleted. We've seen this before, and we'll see it again– the Egg, when it gets this bad, is a death sentence. You have to decide if someone willing to use her own president as a hostage, someone who ignored the mountains of evidence not to fuck with Theseus Was-Taken, someone who actively committed torture–"
He pauses, and studies Punz' expression. His head tilts slightly. "...Oh? Did she not tell you about her hobby? She was going to the prison to torture Darkza."
Vio adds, "Jacobs has been candid to me about what she did. I can promise you that this is far kinder than what she’s done."
"Jacobs is alive, too? Who else– are there any other survivors?" The hope in Eret's tone makes Theo’s anger die down, at least for the moment. With visible pity, he says, "Fundy isn't. I'm sorry."
When Eret's expression crumbles, Theo does something unexpected; he gently puts a wing at their back. "...Ponk, Skeppy, Sam, and Slime're the others from here who're with us. Dunno if you were close with any of them."
There's a sharp inhale, and Punz' grip on his axe tightens. "I– I don't like this." "Punz," Niki begs, but the mercenary steps forward. "I'm sorry, Niki. But…I don't want to die here."
Day nods in approval. "Good. I'm glad you’ve seen reason. Vio, if you would–?"
The alien pulls out his com to put in the return sequence. None of them know what to make of it before a silvery lavender portal opens. "What the fuck," Quackity breathes.
The immortal smiles. "A lot has happened since you last saw us." He doesn’t bother with further explanations, instead stepping through.
After a moment, the duck hybrid follows. It takes a slight nudge from Theo to get Eret to follow suit, leaving only Punz, Niki, Vio, and Theo.
"C'mon, man. S' not gonna get fuckin' easier if you stall," Theo tells Punz. He swallows, casting a last look at Niki. He says, softly, "...I'm sorry."
And then the mercenary goes through as well.
Niki staggers to her feet, lurching forward– only for Theo to kick her back against the wall. "Should've fuckin' listened, Nihachu. Or at least fuckin' died before now. But…had to be a fuckin' cockroach, huh? Have fun in the afterlife. Lady Death was real close with Darkza."
He laughs as he goes through the portal.
With a sigh, Vio fishes a bottle from his inventory and tossed it to her. She catches it on reflex.
He explains, "This is a bottle of holy water. It might stave off the Egg temporarily. Goodbye, Niki Nihachu. Pray that you have not made an enemy of the goddess of death, too."
By the time the merfolk looks up again, the portal is gone. She is alone in a depleted aquifer in the middle of a desert. Resources scarce, scant few allies gone, and the Egg very literally closing in on all sides…her chances of getting out of this alive have rapidly plummeted.
Cleansing & Questions
When Lucid enters the decontamination room, he is immediately struck by the feeling that something weird happened.
Day and Theo both seem strangely satisfied. That never happens in Eggpire worlds; everyone is always some flavor of tired and/or depressed. Warily, he asks, "...Okay– what was the deal with this one?"
"SMPza. Got to leave fuckin' Nihachu to die alone," Theo answers with a disturbing amount of glee.
He has to take a moment to recalibrate after hearing that. "...So…this is the Eret, Punz, and Quackity that you–?" "Why are there two of you," Quackity asks, eyes wide and darting between the two Dreams.
Lucid looks at Day, because it’s harder for him to explain this.
Plus, Day gets touchy about his past. Pissing him off is generally something Lucid avoids doing at all costs.
His older self rolls his eyes and explains, "A long time ago, I made some very stupid and cruel choices– and wound up at death's door. So I ripped out part of my soul to trade with a god for a second chance. I woke up in the world of the SMPza with a new body."
He gestures at the admin. "This is Lucid, formerly Dream. We were the same person until Vio showed up and got him parole. He got physical therapy, I got most of my fingers hacked off. He got understanding, I spent thirty years running from the ghosts in my head."
"A fact you never let me forget," Lucid sighs. He pushes his wrist upwards to open the admin console, and Day does the same.
"Decontamination," Vio tells the confused refugees. "This is to make sure there are no spores or a dormant Egg link. Anything in your inventories has to be examined– there are plenty of resources, so we ask that you get rid of anything you're not attached to. Ender chests, too– that carries over just fine."
Punz breathes, "What the fuck."
Visibly entertained, Theo tells them, "The SMPza's fuckin' weird, on a cosmic level. People n' roles are swapped around. Eret is Fundy, Quackity is Niki, Dad is Darkza–"
The duck hybrid reels backwards. "Wait, if what about said about Niki is– then, when you first met me–?"
"You share the name, face, and voice of the guy who broke me, yes. I knew by that point that certain things were inevitable…and that people weren't the same. I wasn't going to make an extra enemy," Day confirms. He doesn't look up from his console, but his wings rustle in a way that Lucid has learned signifies discomfort.
Thankfully, Vio picks up from there. "We have a few rules if you want to stay here. Therapy is mandatory for everyone, no exceptions, and you'll need to change your names– too many versions of the same person to have anyone keep their original name."
"...What?" Eret sounds dazed. "So…there's more than just you…?"
"We have about fifteen Dreams alone. Time, as in the god of, tapped us to travel the multiverse and witness, intervene, and rescue at our discretion. Sanctuary is just that– a safe haven for those who have had to flee their original reality. Or, once we've made sure you and your belongings are Egg-free, you can choose to go to another reality entirely. There are options," Vio continues.
Punz shakes his head a few times. "So– what, a god is in charge here?" "No," Theo answers. "S' busy with divine stuff n' doesn't really check in."
He pauses to knock on the wall a few times in a familiar superstition. "Said respectfully n' all that, I’m not gonna judge a god even if I could. Anyway– we have a team who run the fuckin' day-to-day shit. Orph is on it. Lucid n' Dad handle admin stuff. Got a person in charge of orientation now; Daz s' nice guy. Travel is me, Dad, n' Vio."
"And…Vio is Purpled?" "Yes," the alien confirms. "Daz is a Tommy, in Atlas' role. As is Aver–" Day interrupts, "One of Vio's not-sons he didn't adopt, nor did he cry when he got his earring–"
Vio makes a noise of frustration. "Prime fucking dammit, you can't go a single world without mentioning that, can you–"
"So– he has sons? Plural? And they're…important here?" Punz sounds wary. Lucid glances up at him. "Aver, Zinn, and Aryll are on the team that runs the server, so…yes."
Slowly, Quackity raises a hand. "Uh…who is Tommy…?" "Theo."
It takes them a moment to realize that Day wasn't asking his son something. The confusion mounts. Punz starts, "So– what, did he change his name, or–"
"I'm right fuckin' here," Theo tells him. "And, yes. If you try to call me Tommy n' not just a version of one, you'll fuckin' regret it. S' a fuckin' reason we all changed our names."
There's enough pressure in the air when he gives his warning that they all correctly decide that it's too dangerous to continue that line of inquiry.
Eret swallows and asks, "Are…glowing eyes normal?" "Admins are weird," Lucid shrugs. "The server is alive, sentient, and really likes cats."
Warmth, like phantom sunlight against his skin, gets eclipsed by the taste of liquorice and salt. Happiness, then worry.
As much as San likes being spoken of, their heart– or something close to it, at least– breaks for the pain of when someone is hurt badly enough that they need to come here.
They can’t help it. They were made of the love Lucid holds for his friends; they don't know how not to be that way.
Quackity’s eyes are on him so long that Lucid eventually meets them. He can guess the issue. “Work out whatever DayDream-based trauma you have with a therapist. I’m also not a freakshow, nor a sociopath, so. Stop staring.”
Thankfully, a good distraction comes in the form of Theo clapping his hands once. “Drop all your shit on the stone table.”
While it is a necessary step, Lucid knows that Theo is capable of being way less…antagonistic, about telling people to do it.
Hmm. That’s not a great sign for the new folks, but Lucid isn’t really willing to go to bat for them yet. Theo’s issues are personal, and thus issues that Day probably shares. Lucid, despite accusations to the contrary, isn’t an idiot and also has basic pattern recognition skills.
He’s not touching that mess unless things escalate to a point where the only solution is admin intervention. At least a dozen other people are much more likely to get results before things get quite that bad.
Punz’ grip on his axe tightens. “So you can steal it?” “No, to make sure the fuckin’ Egg didn’t hitch a ride. It’s standard procedure.” “Not thrilled about you being in charge of–”
“Punz, for the love of fucking Prime, just do it. None of us are leaving this room until everything and everyone is in the clear,” Vio snaps.
The three new refugees stare at him. Eret asks, “Wait, so– you’ve seen the Egg before.” “Duh, we said that before. Usually red, but still sucks. Gotta decontaminate after or we risk literally fuckin’ killing the rest of the server. Want to deal with the Egg again? No? Then let us fuckin' do what needs to get done.”
Once again, Theo gestures at the stone table.
A few beats pass, and then Quackity empties his inventory onto it. “It’s not like I know much about…any of this. You said we all get therapy, right?”
“We have quite a few who specialize in recovering after an Egg infestation. There’s support groups, too, if you want to connect with others who understand what it’s like,” Vio confirms.
Before more detail can be gone into, there’s a loud buzz in Lucid’s earpiece. “Hey, Lucy, I’m here! I set my spawn like you told me to and everything.”
With a soft sigh, Lucid types in a command. He’s mostly given up correcting the usage of that nickname. It’s…probably a good thing, anyway. Daz clearly went through a lot of shit with his Dream, after all.
Getting such a cutesy, friendly nickname means that Daz thinks highly of him. Being slightly annoyed is better than being viewed as a monster waiting to strike.
Daz appears, seemingly unruffled by having been teleported in. He beams and waves at the newcomers. “Hi! My name is Daz, I’m the one who handles server welcomes and orientation. It’s a new department, so I’m sorry if I mess up a little.”
Punz slowly turns to look at Theo. The warrior raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, s’ another Tommy, what about it?”
The warning in his words is so obvious that even a child would understand it. Daz nods a few times. “I am, I am. Theo is way cooler, though, and he and his family are pretty important around here. I just help new people get up to speed on how everything works around here.”
The first to ask a question is Eret. “So…you’re just…another…Theo.” “My name is Daz, and I’m a Tommy.” “And you dealt with the Egg?”
Daz shakes his head a few times. “I’ve met some other people that have, but that’s not why I’m here. There’s a lot of reasons people end up in Sanctuary.” That near-omnipresent smile falters a little, and he adds, “...You don’t need a sanctuary if everything is going good for you.”
And then he seems to let his bad memories roll off of him. He sets a shulker down on the table with a flourish. “I brought snacks, because I’ve heard food can get kinda dicey in Eggpocalypse worlds. We have some really good places to eat, and a bunch of places with other-world trade deals for even more variety. Heck, you could eat something new every day and you might take years to run out of things to try!”
The chatter is, evidently, enough to convince Eret that they really do mean well. They deposit the contents of their inventory onto the table, armor included.
Daz’s smile grows. “It’s kinda scary when it’s all so weird and you just escaped from a bad place. But Sanctuary is a good place. The only wars are prank wars and we all go to therapy to recover from whatever brought us here.”
He steps forward and takes Eret’s hands in both of his. “It’ll be okay. You might stumble a bit, but everyone does. You’re safe here. We have some really good people in charge; they handle the super big-picture things, like making sure there’s a baseline for food and clothes and stuff.”
Eret swallows a few times. Daz asks, sympathetically, “Do you need a hug?”
When he gets a nod, Daz folds his arms around them. “You’re safe here,” he repeats.
And then he suddenly looks up, and silently opens an arm for the other two.
It barely takes a moment for them to crack and join in.
…While he might have had worries about appointing someone like Daz to helm orientation, Lucid suspects that it’s the best possible fit for him.
Orientation & Doubt
Once everyone has been properly cleared of any potential Egg spores, Daz sets about employing his skillsets to their fullest potential.
He gets them all a teleport right into the Welcome Wagon's office, citing a desire to make sure the newcomers are able to get situated quickly.
Lucid had sighed but relented, especially since Daz already had the exact coordinates for the building on-hand.
He's the only one who lands gracefully, the three survivors either ending up flat on their ass or very nearly so. He's heard enough from Theo to know even before he asked for the teleport that it would be a good idea to make sure Punz doesn't eat terracotta.
So, he reaches a hand out and grabs him before his double-fucked ballance can screw him over. The man stares at him in confusion, but he quickly drops his hold.
“Sorry– I didn't want you to end up on the ground. It felt mean, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to catch anyone else.” He bends down and offers a hand to both Eret and Quackity, who take it.
Once they're all on their feet, he beams at them. “We took a shortcut, but this is the Welcome Wagon! It's the place you go for resources or questions. And also orientation; Sanctuary is super weird, with some unusual quirks, and my job is to make sure nobody gets caught off-guard by the biggest ones! Here, I'm sure you're all tired; let me show you the…okay, technically it's a meeting room, but it’s a cozy one. You can get comfy while I explain stuff. There’s rooms upstairs for later, while more permanent homes are being figured out.” He starts walking, leading them to one of the smaller rooms.
The Welcome Wagon, in addition to offices and meeting rooms of a few sizes, also has a few hotel-like rooms tucked in the back of some higher floors. They’re extremely transient, with the primary goal being giving people a place to sleep while they get set up for more long-term housing.
The building is done mostly in bricks and a few colors of terracotta, with plenty of greenery, decor, and other ways to add splashes of color to keep it from feeling too samey.
Each meeting room is color-coded, with a few sizes to account for varying amounts of potential refugees.
He chooses the pink room, because there's not a need for a ton of space. Three newcomers with one to three presenters fit more than well enough that there's room to spread out on the couches, comfy chairs, beanbag chairs, and plush rugs as they so choose.
As expected of a group who has been through hell together, they stick close by one another on a couch and armchair.
“Are there…really enough people who come through here that you need a dedicated orientation group?” Eret's hesitant question makes Daz nod a few times. “Yep! Things were actually kinda messy before I decided to try making things more coherent. No offense to Management, of course–”
Punz's eyes narrow slightly. “So you have bosses. And…Vio…is among them?”
He makes a so-so hand gesture. “I mean…not directly? And Vio is more of an occasional consultant for server-running type stuff now. There’s just not as much for him to oversee that wouldn't be better off in the hands of people who can really devote themselves to it. Buttttt the server got set on the right track by him, so he's in a kinda-honorary role! Management is split up into departments that run day-to-day stuff. Zinn, a Tubbo, handles housing and food; Aver, a Tommy, handles the production of fabric, clothing, and related goods; Aryll, a Ranboo–” he does not miss the way they all visibly react to that name, “--handles medical stuff, Orph, a Wilbur, oversees logistics and stuff, and Helio, a Purpled, is the head-iest guy, dealing with residents’ major concerns, any potential infractions of server rules, and just generally being at the very top of that chain of command.”
A shudder goes down Punz's spine. “I don't trust Ranboo or Purpled to be in charge of anything.”
He blinks at the man, head tilting to the side. “I can kinda guess your Ranboo wasn't great, but I don’t really follow on Purpled…? Yours, Vio, is a bit gruff, but he's got a good heart.” He laughs, adding, “Heck– most of the server takes part in a running joke! He's the not-dad to three not-sons he didn't adopt and he totally didn't cry over getting meaningful jewelry from. He grumbles and complains about us saying that joke, but for one it's super true, and for two we know he doesn't really mean it. But us all making that joke makes everyone more comfy with him, so he pretends he hates it.”
Quackity squints at him. “You’re…talking about the same guy we know, right? The one in that weird room with the two DayDreams?” “Yep! And if you doubt me, you can just ask the other people from your reality. Maybe Day–”
The duck hybrid makes a sign of Prime. “I'm not gonna make him mad, no way no how. Same with Theseus. The two of them…” he shudders, the small, bedraggled wings on his face tucking in close.
Daz stares at him like he's confused. “But Theo is super nice…?”
“Nice? You think Theseus Was-Taken, the Blue Death, is nice?!” Punz looks even more baffled by that statement. Actually, he almost looks offended.
He hums, frowning a little. He's heard small snippets of Theo's infamy, but having people who knew him but haven't adjusted to the current Theo paints a much clearer picture.
“...He was nice to me, and to a bunch of others, but he’s also a complicated guy. I'm not gonna say you're wrong, because I'm sure you feel the way you do for a reason. But…maybe keep an open mind about the people you thought you knew. There’s hidden sides to everyone!”
He clears his throat and gets back on track. “There's a lot of fundamental weirdness in Sanctuary, so I'll get some of the biggest ones out of the way first. There are infinite respawns here. All that happens is you lose your items and wake up in your last set spawn. If it's destroyed or moved, you go to the spawn garden. It's really pretty, so I suggest going and looking when you feel up to it. We're not immortal, though; we will age, get sick, and eventually will die.”
They stare at him in confusion. Punz finally asks, “...But there are still lives here, right?” “Nope! No matter how many times someone dies to mobs, pranks, or fratricide, they'll pop back up again just fine. They won't have most of their items and it does hurt, but less than you might think. Actually, some people stab loved ones as a kinda bonding activity. I don’t really get it, but it works for them!”
Because he can tell they don't really believe him, he smiles. “I can grab someone to do a demonstration later. Next up on the basic stuff is the End. The dimension is open for exploration. Heck–” he pulls out his elytra and a shulker box. “Most of us have these! Elytras and shulker shells are actually given as part of a welcome gift for those that stay. If you need more, we have a couple of places that sell them.”
They all look uneasy. “What do they take as payment? Favors? Organs? Souls?” Daz squints at Quackity, having to take a moment to calibrate how the fuck he should answer that.
“They…take money? Like, emeralds, gold, diamonds, netherite– we have a digital currency too, with a set exchange rate and lots of banks to trade back and forth. Getting an account set up for new people is one of the things we help with here at the Welcome Wagon. We also help with housing and therapy, assuming you stay of course.”
Punz hums, frown growing. “So we have to do what you want or we get sent back.” Daz shakes his head. “Oh, no, not at all! I mean, we have rules in Sanctuary and stuff, but we don’t send people back. Not unless they want to go, but that’s pretty rare. When people get brought here, it’s ‘cause their lives and/or sanity are in immediate danger– sending them right back into that is just pointless. But we also can’t just keep people here who can’t or won’t agree to the way we do things, right? So we have partner worlds– places that have been cleared as safe, with people who can help any potential transfers blend in and start new lives. There are lots of good people, I’ve worked with them on making sure any transitions are as painless as possible.”
The three of them are quiet for a moment. Eret finally, hesitantly, asks, “And…what are the rules of Sanctuary?”
Daz beams. “I’m glad you asked! The biggies are that you have to pick new names– the quote-unquote originals are placeholders used by those in the transition period. If we let people keep them forever, it’d get super confusing and/or lead to people fighting to be the one true person with that name. Second, you gotta go to therapy. Every single person on the server, no matter age or job or whatever, goes. Even kids.” He pauses, and makes a face. “Well, uh, Hero is kinda an weird outlier, ‘cause eldritch horrorterror is hard to control or find a willing therapist for. Oh, or San, ‘cause the only person who can hear them is Lucid, and we can’t really force him to be the literal world’s therapist? Poor guy has enough going on as it is. But that’s pretty much it.”
Eret clears their throat. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard. I thought you said eldritch horrorterror.” “Nope, you heard right. Vio’s not-dog, Hero, formerly DogChamp, is actually an eldritch abomination. He has his own com and everything! We…don’t really question how he can use that com. Or a lot of other things about him. Hero is Hero, and Hero keeps to himself. Don’t feed any dogs spider eyes or prismarine, no matter how sad they look or what mysterious messages pop up on your com. If he’s a jerk, let Vio or someone in Management know and they’ll handle scolding him.”
“Purpled, the information broker and cutthroat surgeon, has a pet eldritch abomination?!” Quackity’s horrified question gets another nod of confirmation. “Vio, but yeah! It’s kinda crazy, isn’t it? You’ll have to ask him more about that, I’m not the most versed in Vio lore.”
Before Daz can move on, Punz butts in. “Can we back up to the literal world needing a therapist? You said it like it’s alive.”
“Oh,” Daz says, “San is super duper alive. That’s kinda one of the big reasons someone might leave, actually; they are mostly omnipresent, and can show Lucid stuff that happened at any point the server has existed. But nobody but Lucid can hear them– and Lucid kinda has some really big downsides to the kind of power he has. He’s pretty much trapped here, forever. But before you get too super worried, San can’t see into stuff blocked off by blackstone, obsidian, and lava. Everyone has rooms to hide stuff from them, it’s totally normal. Heck, you’d probably get people thinking you’re kinda weird if you don’t have a room like that!”
There’s a long, tired sigh from Eret. “I’m…okay. Sure. What other rules are there?”
“The other biggie is just to like…try to sort things out normally, instead of resorting to violence? Aside from mediation, our biggest method of conflict resolution is pranking each other.” Daz pauses again, and notes, “You super don’t want to prank Summer Hills, the Was-Taken family’s area, by the way. They do it to each other plenty, plus there could be temporary guests there who can’t handle it. It’s a big no-no. But also, they hit back super hard. Especially Dee, Day, and Perce.”
There is both confusion and unease on their faces. “People try to prank the Was-Taken family? And they’re still alive?” “Uh, yeah? They can’t really actually kill anyone, not here! But like, as long as you’re respectful and stuff, you aren’t gonna piss them off much. Like, the pranks will smart your pride, but at worst you might need to spend a few sessions in therapy about it.”
Quackity takes a deep breath, looking even more confused. “I’m not familiar with a Perce…? Is he a friend, or something?”
Ah, right. Daz forgot for a second that none of them would be familiar with the younger two Was-Taken brothers.
“Soooo,” he starts, clearing his throat, “Perce is Perseus, the second youngest Was-Taken kid. He’s adopted, but he’s been around longer than me. He and his friends live out in Summer Hills. Actually, they all do this sport event type thing, Manhunts? It’s a whole big deal, pretty much the whole server gets hyped for it and watches it live. It’s super fun! Day, Theo, Dee, Orph, and Atlas have done a few, too– and there are recordings of all the past Manhunts. You’ll totally see what I mean about Theo and Day when you see them. But also, there’s an even younger Was-Taken kid. Achilles– everyone just calls him Lee– is super duper sweet. He’s about six or so, and…okay, it sounds a little weird, but that’s only ‘cause you haven’t met him? But Lee kinda has a bit of a club type thing, with people who want to protect him.”
Daz says proudly, “The Swords and Shields are, obviously, really serious about keeping him extra safe, but also we do lots of other stuff. I’m kinda, like, not super deep into it like some others? But there’s stuff like, combat training, and a community, and it’s more than just Lee. Like, yeah, he’s the core of it, but different people join for different reasons. Aster, though– Aster is really, ultra, incredibly serious about Lee. Kinda has a knight’s oath deal, where he’s devoted his whole everything to the kid. It’s really sweet, actually! And he’s, like, besties with Theo. You’ll be able to spot him from his blue hoodie vest things with stars on it, and ‘cause his hair and face are a bit…well, they aren’t as colorful or expressive as they should be. He’s not usually mad, he just can’t emote super well.”
At this point, the door opens and Orph and Atlas walk in. Or, well– once they see Eret, they lunge and tackle-hug them.
“Holy shit, Eret, we just heard from Dad and Theo– are you okay?!” “Man, if we had any idea the Egg would get so big, we wouldn’t have just dipped like that–”
Unexpectedly, Eret immediately bursts into tears. They wrap their arms around the twins, sobbing, “I don’t– why do you care? Don’t you still hate me?”
Atlas scoffs, “Bruh– we were mad, and scared, but not enough to want you or Fundy to just– suffer, like that.” “Yeah, we wouldn’t wish that on anyone,” Orph agrees, fiercely.
“Holy shit, you’re both actually fine,” Quackity breathes, and the twins finally clock that he’s there. Atlas moves to hug him, too, and the duck hybrid sniffles. Atlas tells him, “Man, it’s good to see you, too. You’re gonna love Sanctuary. We have a ton of bakeries, and I gotta tell you– nobody makes certain stuff like you do.”
That, it seems, is enough to make Quackity start crying.
Punz is frozen in place, staring at the twins like they’re ghosts. Orph, still patting Eret’s back as they cry, tells him, “Seriously, it’s really good here. And don’t think I ever forgot what you did for me.”
The one-armed man swallows hard. “You shouldn’t have been in that situation. It…you didn’t do anything.” “Nope. But people are kinda dicks, and also there might have been some cosmic stuff going on– it’s a long story.”
Orph looks over at Daz and tells him, “I think it’ll probably be better if we take over orientation for them.”
Daz frowns at him. Like fuck is he letting this golden opportunity go. “Orph…do you even know everything that goes into setting people up?” “Uh, well–” “Or have the stuff for it? Like, I’m glad you’re reuniting with friends, and I’m not gonna harsh your buzz or anything! But it’d super suck if they didn’t get what they need.”
He can tell that the roleswapped Wilbur isn’t convinced, so he sighs softly. “Why don’t we do it together? We can get them set up so they can like, sleep and stuff, and then after they’ve rested and eaten we can walk them through everything else. That seems fair, and I’m sure they’d all be really happy to get assurances that I’m not just lying about stuff here.”
Orph grins, using his free hand to adjust his glasses. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair.”
Well, as much as Daz dislikes having control of a situation taken away from him, he’s definitely going to be able to get more on these three if people they know and trust are backing him up.
It’s going to be an interesting time, that’s for sure.
Faces New & Old
Quackity has never been more nervous in his life.
Well, okay– that might be a slight exaggeration. The grueling struggle to survive the Egg wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. Before he, Eret, and Punz got this unexpected lifeline, things were pretty damn rough.
That was why he took their hands. They all knew it was the only chance to survive; as cowardly as it felt, they also knew that the only good that would come of staying would be to die alongside Niki.
Yes, DayDream and Theseus were capable of ungodly harm. Vio too, probably– there had been a few rumors about him.
None of them had ever hurt him, though. If anything, Quackity had been vividly reminded of how warm the twins had been before…everything, and of DayDream's warning not to piss Theseus off.
The warning makes a lot more sense in hindsight, knowing the man had been staring at someone who looked like the guy who he described as having broken him.
But none of the struggles from the Egg were really the same as the anxiety of sitting in the middle of the house of the Was-Taken family.
Or, one of them. There are others in the area, and Quackity would have loved to go to one of those instead. But here they are, in the main one, because the twins brought them here.
Evidently that had been Daz’s idea. He had said that he wasn’t sure how the media setups worked in the other houses and that he might need to pull things up.
The guy is strange, perky and upbeat and unwilling to think poorly of anyone. It’s easier to accept him if Quackity completely divorces him from the monolith that is Theseus Was-Taken.
Orph takes a deep breath as if he’s about to ask something, but gets interrupted by a screech of “Theo you fucking asshole, get your bitch ass back here so I can kill you!”
And then Theseus Was-Taken launches himself off of the area that connects to the kitchen, over their heads, and flies out the door cackling like a lunatic.
Only a few steps behind him is Daedalus, who is stalled in his wrath when he catches sight of the three of them.
The formerly-dead man stares for a few seconds, and then turns to his brothers and Daz. Orph confirms, “Yep, same ones.” “I– when the fuck did that happen?”
Quackity swallows and says, “Yesterday? I– was that seriously–” “That wasn’t Theseus,” Punz scoffs, earning three laughs from the brothers.
“Yeah, no– that’s what he’s usually like. He just never had a chance to be himself because everything was so shitty all the time,” Orph informs them. “He’s a dick and he messed with my workshop again,” Daedalus seethes, eyes sparking with righteous anger.
Before any of them can comment further, a dog trots up.
…Then the dog squints at them in a very non-dog way.
His com beeps, so he warily opens it.
…There's a new groupchat.
Hero: this = fun
Punz makes a face. “You’re not going to make me think this is anything but a normal pet dog–”
Hero: fuck you
Hero: not dog not pet
Hero: tasty house though
Hero: prismarine = yes = again
Daz beams. “Nice to see you again, Hero! You’re always a delight!” The dog looks up at him, eyes getting big and sad.
He gets a shake of Daz’s head. “No can do, sorry. I got in trouble last time I snuck you prismarine. And the spider eyes– woof, that was a whole lecture!”
Evidently unable to resist, Punz argues, “Spider eyes would kill a dog.”
Hero: test = yes
Hero: V = mad = funny
The mercenary seems intrigued. “He'd be– no, you’re not actually sapient.”
Hero: you = lame
Punz glares at the brothers and Daz. The latter smiles and repeats, “Please don't give him spider eyes or prismarine. They won't hurt him or anything, but prismarine is a ‘sometimes treat’ and spider eyes make him drool acid that eats through a lot of things. Especially the walkways…”
Hero: V = mad = funny
Hero: you = hate V = V mad = you happy
Hero: me =/= bored = happy
There's a roll of the mercenary's eyes. “You aren't moving anything to be able to type. This is a really dumb joke.”
Orph grimaces. “You don't want to see proof.” “Right, sure.” “Let me rephrase; the proof is going to give you nightmares. You have enough of those.”
Punz grows still, mouth pulling into a thin line. “So, what– you spied on me?”
With a gentle clearing of his throat, Daz says, “Sanctuary is a refuge for those who went through some nasty things. If you end up here, ninety-nine times out of a hundred it's because you're running from some kinda death sentence. Maybe not literally, but–”
“Yeah? And what did you go through?”
All three of the brothers become visibly angry– Atlas goes as far as to withdraw a weapon– but Daz waves them off. Cheerfully, he assures, “It’s really sweet you're worried, but it's fine! I get that question a lot, nobody thinks I had anything really bad go on.”
He turns back to the three of them, still smiling. “I was enchanted with Loyalty. A bunch of us were– you'll probably run into Aster, he’s a really cool guy! But, uh, mine was…extra bad, apparently. It was unstable and killing me– actually, Day and Lucid looked sick when they saw my code! Code is, uh, like…your soul, I think? But it's in some kinda text form that admins can read. Aaaand Day can read it, and Lucid can mess with it. He doesn’t unless it's like– a case like the enchantment, where something bad is in there. But, yeah! I was forced to obey orders and stay near the original Dream I knew. I think I was kinda like a pet? If I tried to do anything bad, I got punished, and so I learned to be good and useful! Everyone says I don't need to be useful any more, but that's silly. If I'm a good person who helps people and they like me, nobody has a reason to hurt me!”
A strangled noise of distress comes from Punz. Quackity feels sick– fuck, this poor guy talking about himself like that might haunt his nightmares.
Weakly, Eret croaks, “That…that sounds a lot like the Egg.”
Daz shrugs, still smiling. “I guess? I wouldn't know– if it ever popped up for me, I never heard about it. I spent pretty much all my time in the base. But, I mean– people were mad about me, so it was for my own protection. I heard someone wanted to teach me a lesson by doing poison pots and instant health, back and forth, over and over. Dream said he confiscated…I think over eighty pots in all? And there was this– one block big cage, I saw it! I think that might have killed me.”
The three brothers look horrified by this statement. Dee breathes, “Fucking Prime, what do you mean you saw it?” “Dream brought it back. I stopped trying to go outside after that. It was…who was it that was gonna do it..?”
The guy’s brow furrows as he tries to think. Suddenly he snaps his fingers. “Oh! It was Quackity! ‘Cause I was really surprised, he had seemed so nice. It kinda hurt to learn I was so bad even he thought I needed to be trained.”
Hearing his own name said in such a fucked up context makes Quackity’s heart twist. “I– dios mio, I would never, that’s so messed up!”
Daz beams at him. “I know! Bad people don't come back to Sanctuary. The T3 are really good at figuring out bad people. Especially Theo! But even aside from them, if Dee and the twins like you, you're a good person. I trust them a lot!”
Atlas rubs his…friend’s? Shoulder in support. “Bruh, everything new I hear about that place makes me less surprised you're so scared of being bad.”
Even Dee shows his support by putting a wing over the guy’s shoulder.
…Wait, the brothers didn't have wings.
Before he can figure out how to ask, Punz– possibly to change the subject– blurts out, “So– when did all of you fight a dragon?”
Daz tilts his head to the side, seemingly confused about what he means.
The twins seem to need a moment to catch up, but Orph huffs. “That’s not how we got these. These are…copies of Dad’s wings, grafted onto us. They were a gift from Lucid.”
“He heard about what happened with mine and Theo’s original wings, so he decided to make the offer. Code is weird and Dad refuses to even try to teach me, because he’s the fun police,” Dee grumbles.
There are many additional questions that Quackity has.
Daz frowns. “But isn't it pointless unless you have the…what did they call it? A spark?” He looks back to the three of them and explains, “Being an admin like Lucid requires something special in your soul. You have to be born with it. I…I think Day has said he traded his to a god, and that's how he got to the SMPza? Not even he can be a full admin any more. But it seems like being a mod is fine– and mods are waaaaaay less powerful. Can't mess with people's code, for one.”
A sudden thud makes Quackity launch himself off the couch in fear. When he wheels around to see the threat–
Oh, that's definitely Theseus. And he does not look happy.
He strides up to Punz and warns in a low voice. “You fuckin’ hurt people, n’ I remind you why people were afraid of me.”
Unexpectedly, Daz walks up and throws an arm over the shoulder of a man fabled to have waded into wars purely for his love of slaughter. “Theo, it's okay. Lots of people don't think bad things happened to me. But Punz seemed upset when I explained it, and tried to change the subject. He’s fine, you don't need to get mad. It's really sweet, but I promise it’s all good.”
Atlas stares at his brother. “How did you even–” “Hero,” Theseus answers bluntly.
The warrior’s com pings, and he looks at it, then at the dog. “Man, I'm not fuckin’ stabbing him ‘cause you don't like him. He doesn't piss me off, I don't stab him. Go fuckin’ ask Aver n’ them.”
There's another ping, and Theo rolls his eyes at it. “It’s not my fuckin’ fault they’re busy.”
Punz glares up at Theseus. “That’s not going to convince me the dog is talking.”
Hero: not a dog
Theseus raises his eyebrows. “Real fuckin’ dumb to piss off the local eldritch horrorterror, but s’ not my fuckin’ problem. Don't say you weren't fuckin’ warned, bitch boy.”
Hero: seeing = believing
Hero: proof = shut up = yes?
That doesn't sound like a smart idea, but Punz scoffs and gets to his feet. “Yeah, sure. Show me your proof.”
“I'd tell you not to do that, but you don't really seem like you're gonna let it go otherwise,” Orph sighs.
Hero gives a doggy grin that looks a little off, and trots out the doorway. Punz follows.
Only a minute or two later, he returns and sits down.
“That’s not a dog,” he croaks, face ashen.
Daz winces. “We did try to warn you.” “Should've listened,” Punz mumbles.
Well, Quackity is now going to avoid pissing off the not-dog. He does not want to have something evidently very scary mad at him.
The Egg was bad enough.
Quietly, Eret clears their throat and asks, “Dee…you said you had wings, once?”
Theseus blinks at the question. “Oh, that came up? Yeah. Fuckin’ Darkza hacked ours off when we were little. Blinded me, too. S’ one thing to be a shit ‘parent’, but that…”
…Darkza had been their dad? And he had been the one to blind the infamous Blue Death?
Daedalus’ wings flick with disdain. “I sure fucking hope you killed him.”
Instead of answering directly, Theseus looks at the three of them. His eyebrows are raised as if to ask if he is really dead.
Quietly, Eret says, “Either the Egg took him over, or he's working with them. Nobody stayed dead. Not even him.”
A violent shudder goes through Atlas, whose wings tuck in close.
Almost immediately, Daz claps his hands. “Alright, alright– we're getting way off topic. Theo, Dee, shoo. We're doing orientation, not grilling them and unpacking everyone's trauma. The twins can stay because I don't think I can make them leave.”
The eldest two Was-Taken brothers stare at him in surprise. “This is my fuckin’ house,” Theseus points out. Daz argues, “It’s basically a major thoroughfare for Sumner Hills, and also the twins volunteered it.”
Dee squints at him. “You can’t make me do anything.”
Undeterred, Daz puts his hands on his hips. “I can tell Management that you're obstructing official business. Do you really want to piss off Aver, Aryll, Zinn, and Helio? And also Orph?”
The twin in question suddenly looks serious. “Let the man do his job, Dee. I haven't actually seen a full orientation anyway, and I'm curious–”
An exasperated sigh escapes the second eldest brother. “Fine, fine…”
Daz beams at him. “Thank you! I'll make it up to you later.”
Before Quackity can wonder what that could mean, the sound of running reaches his ears. He turns just in time to see a kid dart into the room.
Instead of paying attention to any of them, he launches himself at by far the most dangerous man in the room.
But Theseus just catches him, grinning brightly. “Hey baby bro, was fuckin’ wondering where you were.”
While Quackity is trying to reconcile that, he hears a complaint of, “He threw a slowness potion at me!” Another winged DayDream-but-not trudges up the stairs, looking distinctly grumpy.
The kid says, sounding smug, “You were being dumb. I gotta follow the vibes, n’ they said to go n’ see what's up!”
Daz beams at the kid. “Lee, my favorite tiny person!” “Daz, my favorite helper guy!”
Bright green eyes suddenly turn on the trio on the couch. The kid squints at them, humming loudly, and then frowns.
“Egg isn't s'posed to be blue. N’ it hates the cold, not the hot…your Egg was weird.”
Daz blinks a few times. “It was blue?”
Punz sounds offended, demanding of Theseus, “Why would you tell a kid about– about that?!”
Said kid huffs. “Theo didn't say anything. I just kinda know things, sometimes. Like, uhhh…”
He stares at them again. After a long moment, he murmurs, “Hard to grow food in the desert. Nothing but cacti, n’ that's not a good food source. Aquifer was drying up, n’ you'd been trying to find anything else…but rain's contaminated, n’ so're rivers n’ lakes. Finding it at all was real lucky. She should've died, running away through the desert like she did– but with Theo n’ Dad after her, she had to risk it. N’ it saved you all, in the end.”
Goosebumps rise on Quackity’s arms.
None of them had explained any of that.
The kid frowns more. “That sounds sad. Theo, why were you n’ Dad–?” Theseus shakes his head, hugging the kid closer. “Not right now, baby bro.” “...Promise you’ll explain later?” The infamous Blue Death hums, pressing a light kiss to his little brother’s hair. “Yeah. N’ you know I don’t go back on promises, baby bro.”
“Except not causing violence at family dinners,” the other DayDream says, sounding smug. Atlas immediately protests, “You do it too!”
The guy grins and says, “Yeah, but it’s funny when I do it.”
There’s a sudden, sharp whistle, and everyone looks over to Daz. The guy huffs softly, his hands on his hips. “As nice as it is to see you, Lee, I need to do orientation for these people. They’re from the SMPza but–”
“Holy shit, really?!” The new DayDream looks much more interested, looking curiously at them. “So, this is the Punz who helped Theo–” “Also helped Orph, yeah,” Theseus confirms. “And the Eret that the twins were friends with?” “A-yup,” Atlas says.
“And one of the decent Quackities, who Vio has lamented not being able to have the, uhhh– that one thing from?”
Theseus barks out a laugh, and finally sets his little brother down on the floor. “Yeah, fuckin’ bitches n’ moans about it every time he remembers!”
This…is news to Quackity. He wracks his brain to remember when he last baked for Purpled-slash-Vio.
When the fuck did he sell the guy anything? He can’t actually recall doing so, which is concerning.
Eret seems surprised, though. “You…know about us?” “Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t I? You’re part of the family lore. Dad and Theo especially love telling stories. Especially for less fucked up stuff–”
“The attempted execution doesn’t count as fucked up?” Punz sounds understandably baffled by that. Theseus raises his eyebrows and replies, “S’ an important thing that fuckin’ happened to us. We’ve done the whole fuckin’-- secrets n’ lies shit before. Ends real bad.”
The not-DayDream suddenly shoves his hand out. “Perseus Was-Taken, call me Perce. Nice to meet some more of the decent people who knew my family before I did.”
Pieces suddenly click into place. This must be the other member of the family– which, duh, the wings make it kind of obvious. But there’s so much that’s happened just in this one conversation, let alone since they came here…
Still, Quackity hesitantly shakes his hand. “Uh…thank you, I think?” “You’re welcome.” “You’re awfully cheerful for having been adopted into this family,” Punz says, eyeing his hand warily.
Perce’s smile fades a little. “Kinda dumb to bite a hand being offered in friendship. You do realize that if you piss my family off enough, you won’t be able to stay here, right? That you’re pushing the exact buttons that are most likely to piss them off?”
Theseus’ smile is more of a teeth-baring snarl, a blatant threat display. “You’ve fuckin’ seen what we do to fuckers who hurt our family. Don’t fuckin’ appreciate you being a dick to my second babiest brother for no fuckin’ reason, Punz. D’you need me to demonstrate why I was so fuckin’--”
Suddenly, the feared warrior is getting whacked with a sheaf of papers. Daz snaps, “Stop it, stop being a jerk! Whatever beef you have can be settled after orientation! I knew I should have– up, up, sorry this is all such a mess.” He points to the assembled brothers, huffing, “I can’t trust any of you! The four of us are going back to the Welcome Wagon, the twins have lost the right to sit in! This is too messy, too chaotic– and too rude! We’re trying to make sure these poor people have the tools and knowledge to navigate the server, and dragging your history together into it is making this even harder than usual!”
The twins look stricken. Orph tries, “But I–” “No! No buts! Plan your reunion for after!”
Quackity stares at the bubbly, perky Theseus in utter shock. How is he not getting threatened or decked for scolding this terrifying family like that? Why are they just..letting this happen?
Daz huffs again, stowing his papers. He turns back to the three SMPza escapees and tells them, “I’m so sorry about all this, and especially dragging you back and forth. But this is just– not a good setting for this. I didn’t think this would be that big of a deal, but evidently it is.”
Quackity squeaks out, “Uh, it’s– I mean, you don’t have to–” Daz shakes his head, frowning at them. “No, no; this is literally my job. I get paid to make sure people who come into the server are set up for success. I can’t just let orientation go so far off the rails– not in good conscience. I especially can’t let there be threats during it! If you don’t feel safe asking questions, how are you gonna learn?”
A glower is aimed at Theseus and Perce, who both wince and look away. “Sorry, Daz,” Perce mumbles, his wings drooping a little. “If you’re really sorry, then you can bring some stuff from A Slice of Heaven and some other local shops over. Leave it with Aleph and Khons, okay?”
The guy nods, meek as a kitten. “And you,” Daz huffs, pointing sternly at someone called a devil, “are going to be helping restock some of the stuff for the welcome presents. I’ll send you a list in the next few days.”
Theseus, bafflingly, looks chagrined instead of furious that he’s being scolded like a child. “...Sorry, Daz.”
And then the guy turns back to the three of them. His smile returns, and he lightly claps his hands. “Now that all that’s settled! We can head back, and I can make sure everything is done right this time!”
Yeah, Quackity sure as fuck isn’t gonna be the one to piss this guy off. If he can talk to the Was-Taken brothers like that and is friendly with the…kind of demigod-y whatever that Lucid is? That’s not someone he really wants to get on the wrong side of. In fact, if Daz holds that much power and favor, it might actually be suicidal to upset him.
Fuck, this place is already so weird. He’s hoping that they don’t end up murdered and dropkicked back to suffer at the teal tendrils of the Egg.
But it’s not like he can do much except for cooperate however he possibly can, so…for now, he’s going to obediently follow after Daz and hope that he’s not the type to hold grudges based on what his…first Quackity…had done.