Chapter Text
It’s hot. It’s not supposed to be hot in January. In fact, she was kind of banking on it being cold enough to mask some of her exertion at having to move all her items essentially on her own because Hailey Upton is sweating right now.
And maybe saying it’s hot is an exaggeration but it definitely feels like it as she hauls another box out the van and onto the little front porch. Her front porch. She should have caved and just paid a removal company but she thought she’d save the cash for something else.
She’s been at it for about forty minutes already moving the smaller furniture and the boxes inside. She feels like she’s getting nowhere. This was supposed to be a good day and right now she just feels exhausted. She reminds herself that Vanessa will come to help when she finishes up her shift. She takes a moment and blows the hair from out of her face.
‘Hello.’
She turns at the sound of the voice and sees a woman in her sixties standing on the path. She has a warm smile and somehow seems remarkably put together for someone in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.
‘I’m Caroline. Caroline Halstead. I live right next door with my husband.’
Right, Hailey thinks. This is what it’s like when you move to a neighbourhood like this. Neighbours actually speak to one another.
‘I’m Hailey,’ she says with a smile. ‘Nice to meet you.’
‘You too, sweetheart.’
And she’d normally bristle at being called such a thing, but it seems natural for this woman. Hailey’s pretty good at getting a read on people and this woman screams caregiver.
‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Caroline offers.
Hailey sizes her up and the other woman laughs before she speaks once more. ‘You’re hardly a football player yourself.’
A laugh escapes Hailey before she can stop herself and she finds herself accepting the other woman’s help. Within minutes Caroline has the radio on and is busy setting up Hailey’s kitchen for her and somehow Hailey already feels better about the whole thing.
What’s more surprising is that she gets her to talk. Hailey explains that it’s just her and her son, Luke, moving in and Caroline immediately asks to see photos gushing over her five-year-old and telling Hailey that he looks just like her.
She shares that he’s with her friend Vanessa right now hanging out at the sandwich shop where they both work and that they’ll both come and help when Vanessa finishes up. Or Vanessa will. Luke will cause sweet chaos.
Caroline is polite enough not to ask how she can afford the house as a single mom on a sandwich shop wage. Truth is, Crumbs is hers now and she’s damn proud of that fact, but it’s still not enough for a house like this. It’s the smallest on the street but it’s in a good neighbourhood. There’s a front and back yard for Luke. Space for him to ride his bike on the sidewalk.
No, the money comes from inheritance, and she’d seriously considered just giving all the money away given her childhood but then she considered what was best for Luke and here they are.
There’s a knock on the open front door around an hour later and Hailey turns to see an older man flanked by a tall man chewing on what looks like a matchstick and another with a riot of red hair atop his head.
‘Oh good, you’re here,’ Caroline beams clapping her hands together.
Hailey is a little baffled when Caroline then proceeds to introduce her husband Pat, her eldest son Will and a family friend, Kevin. Even more so when they tell her they’re here to help and then promptly get stuck in hauling her couch from out the van.
Both Pat and Kevin are wearing navy polo shirts with ‘Halstead Construction’ embroidered on them but she notices Will isn’t and given the way he loudly jokes that he’s not cut out for heavy lifting, she guesses he doesn’t work in what she assumes is the family business.
She could almost cry as their new home starts to take shape. She blames the stupidly warm January day but feels a gentle hand come to rest on her shoulder and Caroline gives it a squeeze before turning back to the kitchen.
‘Thank you,’ she says turning to the other woman whose unexpected kindness has turned today around.
She means it and when Luke and Vanessa turn up a while later and she sees the smile on her son’s face, she knows it’s all worth it.
--------
‘Mom?’
She looks up from where she’s making them breakfast to see Luke’s face appear around the screen door to the back yard.
‘Yeah, kid.’
‘That cat is in the back yard again. Can it come in?’
‘No, Luke,’ she laughs as he pouts adorably. ‘It has a collar and a home and you know this. Cats just like to roam.’
‘But it seems to like our yard better than its own.’
‘Probably because you’re always there to fuss it,’ she grins. ‘Come on in now and wash your hands for breakfast.’
She laughs as Luke toes off his crocs about three feet apart from one another. It’s definitely a trait he gets from her. It wasn’t until she had him, that she got better at being tidy. They can only cope with one tornado in the family.
The two of them sit at the little breakfast counter eating together and she listens to Luke talking about how he’s excited for his next soccer practice when he clocks sight of Pat heading for his truck parked in the driveway. Like he does every morning, he looks up into their window and throws a salute Luke’s way making her boy beam.
She really lucked out having Caroline and Pat as neighbours. In the five months she and Luke have now lived here, the kindness they’d shown that first day hasn’t faltered. They’re good people. Kind, consistent. The kind of parents she wishes hers had been more like if she’s honest.
They both adore Luke and eventually had worn Hailey down and they’ve attended a few family dinners at the Halstead’s place and they’ve been kind enough to watch Luke a few times too. Will has a boy of his own who’s only a year younger than Luke and they get on like a house on fire and she’s found a new friend in his wife, Natalie.
Kevin is often round the house too and always makes an effort to fist bump Luke and calls him, ‘little dude’ which Luke laps up.
It feels nice. To have people in her corner.
She’s yet to meet Caroline and Pat’s youngest son. From what she knows, he’s a couple of years younger than Will, in the army and overseas somewhere right now. There are photos of him everywhere in the house though. Several of him in his uniform and Hailey imagines he must be good at his job given the number of pins and medals on his chest.
Caroline had caught her staring one day and hummed with a smile on her face. ‘He’s certainly handsome, my boy.’
Hailey had felt herself blush and apologised.
‘Nonsense, they’re up to be looked at. We’re so proud of him but it doesn’t mean we don’t miss him like crazy when he’s away. Or worry. He’s definitely responsible for some of these grey hairs. Most of them actually.’
Hailey had laughed then. Could imagine a day sometime in the future where she’d be saying the same about Luke.
But there was something about the photo that had pulled her back for another look before following Caroline into the kitchen. He and Will don’t particularly look alike yet somehow both look like a perfect combination of their parents.
She can see a lot of Pat in there but his colouring he gets from Caroline. Dark hair cropped close to his head and eyes that seem unfairly green when paired against his dress uniform. He’s handsome, certainly, but Hailey doesn’t dwell on it for long.
She imagines he either has a sweetheart back here waiting on him or he’s a man married to his work and besides, she doesn’t date herself either.
It’s messy and complicated at the best of times and that’s without a five-year-old. She learned the hard way with Luke’s father.
Things are simpler on her own.
--------
‘Do you think Mrs Halstead will like it?’
She pokes her other earring though her ear and smiles at Luke in the mirror where he holds up the card he’s made.
‘She’ll love it,’ Hailey tells him turning around to press a kiss to his dirty blonde hair.
‘I love birthdays,’ he carries on. ‘Do you think they’ll be cake?’
‘When isn’t there cake at the Halstead’s kid?’
Luke grins.
They’re having a family barbeque in honour of Caroline’s birthday and had been kind enough to invite them over.
It’s a great night, as always. Luke and Owen play in the backyard whilst the rest of them sit out at the table on the deck. She’d offered to help Caroline in the kitchen but both she and Natalie were shooed away outside. Pat has the BBQ set up in the corner, so the light breeze carries the smoke in the opposite direction to them.
‘Hey, Hailey. How are things going at Crumbs?’ Will asks. ‘Mom mentioned you guys want to expand one day?’
‘That’s the plan. We’re pretty busy these days which is great. It’s not something for now but maybe one day.’
‘That’s because the coffee is amazing and those breakfast sandwiches you make are to die for,’ Natalie chips in. ‘Kind of wish you guys were closer to the hospital.’
‘You and me both,’ Will says easily throwing an arm around his wife’s shoulder and pressing a kiss to her temple.
Hailey smiles at the sight of them both. They’re a good fit and sometimes she lets herself wonder what it would be like to have something like it for herself. To have a partner. Someone to share the load with.
‘Is there room for one more?’
A voice from behind them captures their attention, and she turns to her left to see a man rounding the corner of the back yard with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder. She doesn’t need the army fatigues he’s wearing to tell her who he is.
The collective cries of the people around her tell who exactly who it is.
Chairs scrape back in a flurry and Will is the first to reach him vaulting over the rail on the deck to land beside his brother pulling him into a hug before punching him on the shoulder.
‘What the hell, man?’ Will grins. ‘You’re not supposed to be home for another two weeks.’
‘Came to surprise mom,’ Jay says setting down his bag before pulling Natalie off her feet and then hugging his dad tight.
The screen door goes and Hailey glances up to see Caroline come out. Dishtowel flung over her shoulder.
‘What is all the fuss abou-‘
She freezes in place as her eyes go wide and her hand goes to her heart at the sight of her son.
‘Jay?’
‘Hey, Mom,’ he grins at her.
‘Oh my god, get up here,’ Caroline says through her tears and Hailey feels a little emotional herself as Jay strides up the steps to his mom and pulls her in for a hug.
She can hear Caroline’s words muffled against his chest. That she can’t believe he’s here. That it’s the best birthday present. That he’s a sneaky little rogue.
‘I missed you too, Mom,’ Jay says as they pull apart.
Hailey suddenly feels wildly out of place. They’d convinced her that she and Luke weren’t imposing at a family birthday but now it’s a surprise homecoming for their son too.
She rises from her seat setting her glass down on the table thinking she’ll go and retrieve Luke from the little treehouse where he and Owen are currently hiding out.
But Caroline seems to misinterpret her standing.
‘Oh, Jay honey,’ she says wiping away happy tears. ‘This is Hailey. She and her son Luke moved in next door back at the start of the year and they’re the best neighbours we’ve ever had.’
Green eyes settle on hers as his mom speaks and she can’t look away.
Neither of them say anything and she wishes some words – any words – would come but then she’s saved by a four-year-old at top speed.
‘Uncle Jay!’
Owen comes barrelling up the steps and into Jay’s legs and she watches as Jay crouches down and pulls the little boy into a hug ruffling his hair. ‘You need a haircut kiddo. You trying out the mop look like your dad?’
Owen giggles and Luke too behind him which catches Jay’s attention.
‘Hi,’ Luke says confidently.
Jay glances quickly at Hailey before he answers. ‘Hi. I’m Jay.’
‘I’m Luke. Are you Will’s brother?’
Jay answers with a smile that he is and she watches as her boy adorably puts out his hand for Jay to shake and her heart clenches in her chest. He’s kind, her boy. Has great manners. She’s doing something right.
‘Tag,’ Owen says tapping Luke on the shoulder and she watches as Luke tears off after him around the back Pat’s shed.
Jay pushes himself to stand back up and Hailey remains standing where she is a little awkwardly.
‘Hi. Hailey, right?’
‘That’s me.’
‘Jay. Good to meet you.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she says quietly though Pat has already returned to manning the grill and Caroline is in excited conversation with Natalie and Will. All with gleeful smiles on their faces. ‘If I had any idea you were going to be coming home, Luke and I wouldn’t have come. I don’t want to spoil your family evening.’
Her tilts his head at her. Easy smile on his face. ‘You gonna cause a scene? Flip the table or something?’
‘No.’
‘You gonna eat all my mom’s chicken? Because I’ve pretty much dreamed about it for the last eight months.’
And she can’t fight off her own smile now. ‘Wasn’t planning on it.’
‘Then you’re good. Don’t feel you have to leave on my behalf,’ he says kindly. ‘Really. I wanted to surprise my mom, but I don’t much like being the centre of attention.’
It puzzles her a little. It’s a family dinner and they haven’t seen him in nearly nine months. Of course he’s going to be the centre of attention.
‘Stay,’ he says. ‘Or at least don’t leave on my behalf. My mom would kill me.’
He nods to her and heads inside to set his bag down and she assumes to get changed since when he comes back out about ten minutes later, he’s dressed in a pair of light wash jeans and a white t-shirt that makes his tan seem frankly unfair.
He accepts the beer his brother passes to him as Natalie ushers Owen and Luke inside to wash their hands.
It’s a casual affair - self-serve - but Caroline can’t seem to help herself by piling Jay’s plate high for him.
‘Geez, mom. They did feed me over there,’ he laughs.
Regardless, he eats every last thing on his plate.
There are a few questions about his unit during dinner. They all ask after someone who inexplicably seems to be called Mouse, but they don’t ask much beyond that. Judging from the photographs she’s seen in the house of when she assumed he’d first signed up, he’s been at this a long time and his family seem to read him well. To know when to back off.
He’s polite and warm. Remarkably good at changing the subject when he wants to despite it being evident they all want to hear from him.
Painfully attractive too. She’d gathered he was handsome from the photographs around his parents’ home but in person, it’s the kind of handsome that almost makes her uncomfortable because it’s hard to not look at him and she’s not sure she’s ever felt like that about someone based solely on their appearance.
Luke and Owen bound back over for a drink having both inhaled their food in record time in favour of playing with the bubble machine and whilst Owen looks tired out, she knows her boy. He gulps down the glass of water she pours for him and then starts his inquisition of Jay.
How tall is he? Does he have to wear army uniform all the time? Has he been in a tank? Has he jumped out of a plane?
Hailey widens her eyes a little at the easy way in which Jay nods to the last one like he does it regularly but it kind of fits she thinks. He’s fit. Young. Healthy. Seems like he’d be the kind of person you’d want to come and save you. Exudes a sense of safety. He’s a protector just like the rest of his family are in their own ways.
‘What’s the coolest thing you know how to do?’
‘You mean at work?’ Jays asks adjusting his cap.
‘Yeah’
Hailey tenses. Wonders what words might come out of Jay’s mouth. She can only imagine the things he sees. Is trained to do.
‘So, I can base jump. If that’s cool?’
‘What’s that?’ Luke asks swinging back and forth on the porch railing.
‘It’s like jumping from things that don’t move rather than a plane.’
‘And you like land and do a roll? Like this?’
‘Oh god,’ Hailey says hiding her head in her hands when Luke proceeds to gambol across the yard in demonstration making all the adults laugh.
‘So that’s pretty cool,’ Jay says kindly, ‘but with base jumping you jump from things that are really high, so you need a parachute.’
‘Whoah.’
‘And if you did a roll with that on, you’d get all tangled up.’
She sees her boy’s eyes widen in awe. Not surprised her own little action man is impressed by Jay’s words.
‘Hey,’ Jay says quietly beside her. ‘You mind if I show him how to roll safely? I don’t want him to hurt his neck and he seems like he might do that kind of thing a lot.’
His neck? Why hadn’t she noticed something? Not that she has any idea what she’d even be looking for.
‘Oh, yeah. Of course, but don’t feel you have to. You must be exhausted, and I can look it up if he’s doing something wrong. I don’t want him to get hurt so if you just tell me, I can sort it.’
‘I know that,’ Jay says and something in his tone reassures her that he’s not passing judgement when his eyes settle on hers. ‘Just thought it might save you a job.’
‘Oh, okay then,’ she nods and distracts herself by taking a large gulp of her drink.
She shifts in her seat watching the two of them talk. Luke hanging on every word Jay says. Jay who disappears into the double garage at the end of the Halstead’s driveway and comes back with something that looks like a camping mat laying it out on the grass. He seemingly coaches Luke through some steps before letting him roll again.
It does look better. More controlled somehow and she watches her son take Jay by surprise when he high fives him.
He does it a few times and then Jay’s voice carries telling him that’s enough for tonight since they’ll both end up throwing up their dinners only for Luke to seemingly persuade Jay to start kicking a soccer ball between them instead.
As the air starts to get a little cooler, Owen curls up in his mom’s lap and Hailey helps Caroline start to carry the plates inside as Will is instructed to clean up the grill. ‘This is what I get for not being gone for nine months,’ he huffs good-naturedly. ‘One of us gets given jobs and one of us gets to play.’
‘You must be so thrilled to have him home,’ Hailey says to Caroline as they put covers on the remaining food.
Caroline clasps a hand over her heart. Eyes falling on her youngest son outside the window. It’s a feeling Hailey understands. No matter how old Luke gets, he’ll always be her boy. She’ll never not worry or be endlessly proud.
‘Maybe I’m bias but he is just the best. I’m so proud of him and everything he does and how hard he works to stay connected with us all whilst he’s gone. It would be so easy to lose himself in it all.’
‘I’ll go get Luke in a minute. Give him a break.’
‘Nonsense, sweetheart. Look at their faces. It’s doing them good.’
And when Hailey looks, she sees it. The joy on both their faces as Luke gets the hang of some soccer trick Jay’s been teaching him.
Five more minutes she thinks.
She pads across the lawn in her sandals to where Luke and Jay now sit. Luke perched on the ball and Jay sat on the grass.
‘Are you married?’ she hears Luke ask him.
‘No. Are you?’
‘I’m five.’ Luke laughs. ‘And girls are no fun.’
Jay’s eyes rise to meet hers and she sees the laughter in them.
‘Maybe say that a little quieter around your mom, huh?’
Luke throws his head back to grin at her. ‘She’s fun. She doesn’t count.’
‘Good to know,’ Jay hums and she ignores the way it makes her stomach flip-flop.
‘Hey, bud. Time to go.’
‘Okay, Mom. Can I show you what Jay’s taught me?’
‘Really quickly.’
She watches him do some sort of move where he seems to cross his legs over the ball each way before he starts to dribble it. It’s definitely not something she’s seen him do before.
‘I’m impressed, kiddo.’ She leans down to press a kiss to the crown of his head. ‘Go say goodbye to everyone please and thank Mr and Mrs Halstead for having us.’
Jay pushes himself to stand brushing the grass from his jeans.
‘Thank you for spending time with him. He’s loved it. He’s soccer mad.’
‘So was I growing up. I get it. You just need a ball and a bit of space and you’re away. He’s really pretty good you know. Does he play?’
She wraps her arms around herself. ‘Yeah, he does. There’s an under 6s team based over at the park a few blocks over. The coach wants him to play for the older team, but I don’t want him to get knocked around too much.’
‘I get that. He really is good though. I think he’d hold his own if you do go down that route.’
‘Thank you.’
‘It was nice to meet you both,’ Jay says and if she doesn’t imagine it, his eyes drift to her lips before he straightens up. Pushes his shoulders back and his expression is masked once more.
‘You too, Jay. You’ve made a lot of people really happy tonight.’
Luke appears once more by her side tucking himself into her legs.
‘Say goodnight to Jay.’
Jay holds up a hand to high five him and thanks Luke for playing with him and her boy beams. Doesn’t shut up about Jay whilst he gets ready for bed that night or how ‘cool’ he is.
She was definitely right. Jay Halstead has made a lot of people happy tonight.
--------
It’s the following night when she sees him again. She and sleep have a complicated relationship and she wakes a little before two feeling restless.
Decides to pad downstairs after checking that Luke is sound asleep and makes herself a tea. She leaves the bag in and opens the screen door as quietly as she can though the damn thing is half off its hinges.
She settles into one of the chairs when she notices the garage door open next door and the light is on. She can hear the occasional clink of tools and wonders if Pat is getting an incredibly early start on a job.
Only it’s not Pat. She sees Jay appear a moment later with some kind of tool in his hand and when she shifts in her seat, she can see he’s working on the motorcycle that’s in there.
He must sense her despite her being sat in the dark as suddenly his head turns and his gaze lands on hers. He steps out from under the garage and takes a few steps towards her.
‘Sorry, did I wake you out here?’ He asks gesturing towards the open windows on the back of her house.
‘No, it’s okay. I don’t always sleep well.’
‘I get that,’ he answers simply and she imagines he does. He’s out here doing maintenance on a bike in the middle of the night after all.
‘So you ride the bike? I couldn’t see your dad on it somehow.’
He laughs and throws the rag he was using the wipe his hands back into the garage.
‘He takes good care of it whilst I’m gone.’
‘He does. I see him polishing that thing up all the time.’
She watches him reach up to rub the back of his neck and she wonders if it’s embarrassment that his dad cares so much or that he cares so much about the motorcycle. She’s not sure.
‘Does it help?’ She asks gesturing to the wrench in his hands.
‘Clears my head. Does the tea?’
‘A little. Think it’s more the stars if I’m honest.’
‘And then I ruined it by having the garage light on.’
‘I can still see ‘em.’
Regardless off her response, he steps back into the garage and turns the light off.
‘Thank you.’
‘I’m gonna turn in for the night anyway,’ he says. ‘You’re staying on your porch, right?’
She pulls the cardigan she’s wearing a little tighter around her at his question. ‘Of course. My son is inside.’
She regrets her words immediately from the way in which his face falls.
‘No, of course,’ he says awkwardly. ‘I didn’t mean…’
‘I know,’ she says dragging a hand through her hair. ‘I’m just tired and grouchy. Ignore me.’
He looks at her quietly for a few moments and even in the dark he seems to read her too well but then he nods his head at her. Takes her at her word.
‘Night, Hailey.’
‘Night, Jay.’
————
‘What flavour is it?’ he asks her three nights later when he finds her once again sat out on the porch and promptly turns the garage light off for her.
She’s worked out that he seems to stay above the double garage when he’s home. Wonders what it’s like up there. Whether it shows Caroline’s hand and is light and airy like the rest of the house or whether it’s more Jay. She imagines blues and dark woods, a leather couch and then shakes the thoughts from her head. What’s it to her?
‘Chamomile.’
She holds her cup out towards him and he hesitates like she’s offering him something far more intimidating than a cup of tea.
He steps up onto the little porch and takes it from her taking a slow sip out the opposite side of her cup. Pulls a face that is frankly adorable. Particularly so coming from someone who is all muscle.
‘It grows on you,’ she grins in response.
‘You sure about that? Tastes like sweet flowers.’
‘Because you eat those on the regular?’
He tilts a smile her way. ‘MREs aren’t exactly the greatest.’
‘Thanks again for spending some time with Luke again earlier. You didn’t need to do that.’
Luke had been in the back yard when he’d clocked Jay and Pat sanding down Pat’s shed when he’d ‘pulled a Luke’ as Hailey likes to think of it and wandered over with a curious smile only to love helping the two men for the next hour or so. Or pretending to help. She’s not sure how much use he actually was but he came back with a smile and a glow to his cheeks. Happy.
‘He’s a good kid.’
She doesn’t think there will ever be a time where she doesn’t smile when someone compliments her son. ‘Yeah, he is.’
Jay leans back against the railing opposite her. ‘My parents are so smitten with him. They’d literally have him over there every day.
‘He has that effect.’
‘Wonder where he gets that from.’
And she’s grateful for the dark at Jay’s quietly spoken words. Hides as much of her face as possible behind her mug.
Jay too seems to realise what he’s said and clears his throat.
Bids her goodnight and slips away into the dark.
———-
‘So Luke seems to like your new neighbour,’ Vanessa says when the two of them are unloading the latest delivery later in the week. ‘He was very chatty about the mysterious Jay when I picked him up from school yesterday.’
‘He’s not mysterious,’ Hailey says rolling her eyes. ‘He’s just home from deployment.’
‘Luke likes him though?’
‘Yeah, he’s a Halstead. You’ve met them. They’re kind of hard not to like.’
‘True,’ Vanessa says opening one of the boxes with more vigour than was probably necessary but she’s definitely more of an act first and think later kind of person.
Quiet settles over them as they work until they both take a break to grab a glass of water.
‘Do you like him?’
‘Excuse me?’ Hailey asks not quite following.
‘The new Halstead. Jay.’
‘He seems like a nice guy, yeah,’ she says simply. It’s not a lie but she definitely wishes she were wearing her hair down right now to hide her face a little because she knows Vanessa. Knows this isn’t the end of it.
‘Is he hot?’
‘Vanessa!’
‘What?’ she shrugs. ‘It’s just a question.’
‘Yeah, and we’re not sixteen.’
‘And I’m still waiting on an answer.’
She clears her throat and then inexplicably a nervous sound, something akin to a strangled chuckle, escapes her.
‘Oh god, is he injured or something from his job? Is that why he’s home? I didn’t mean to be rude,’ Vanessa says hand flying over her mouth as if she could somehow take the question back.
‘No, he’s good,’ Hailey admits biting her lip. ‘He’s kind of insanely attractive. Like a proper action man. It’s a little ridiculous actually.’
‘Hmm,’ Vanessa grins.
‘No, not hmmm. He’s my neighbour’s son,’ she tells her as the two of them make their way out to the front of the shop. ‘It’s not happening and he’s leaving again. He leaves. I’m not having a fling.’
It’s hitting the lunch rush and the rest of the inventory can wait. They’ll help Lexi out for a while as needed.
‘Why not?’
‘Because I have a son,’ she says distractedly and then blind panic sets in when she sees who’s approaching the front doors.
Vanessa, of course, is oblivious.
‘Definitely doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a good f-‘
‘Stop talking!’ she hisses. ‘Just shut up.’
Vanessa looks a little taken aback by the wild look in her eyes and then turns to follow her gaze grinning wolfishly at the sight of the two men coming through the door wearing Halstead construction polos.
‘Ladies, good to see you both,’ Kevin grins as they make their way over to the counter.
‘Hi Kevin,’ Vanessa beams looking like Christmas came early. ‘And you must be Jay.’
Jay’s eyes skitter to Hailey at the slightly manic look in Vanessa’s eyes before introducing himself to her friend who may be losing that title if she carries on embarrassing her right now.
‘Luke didn’t shut up about you when he was in here yesterday,’ Vanessa says and Hailey wishes the ground would swallow her up.
‘He’s a great kid,’ Jay says easily and she feels him glance her way once more but pretends to busy herself rearranging some of the sandwiches.
‘What brings you down here?’ Vanessa asks. ‘You come to see Hailey?’
If she’s not mistaken, she can hear the smile in Jay’s voice when he responds. ‘Just here to grab some lunch actually. You know since you’re a sandwich shop and all. We’re working a few blocks down and Kev said your coffee is pretty great.’
‘Kev is a smart guy.’
‘I couldn’t agree more,’ Kevin jokes and Hailey steps aside to serve another customer whilst Vanessa chats to them and takes their orders.
She feels Jay move down the counter towards her. ‘So my dad said to get his usual order from here like I have any idea what that is.’
She lets out a breath and tells herself to stop being ridiculous. Vanessa might be being an ass, but Jay isn’t. He’s handled Vanessa just fine. She looks up and sees the understanding smile on his face.
Hailey reaches for Pat’s usual and passes it over to him to add to their order.
‘Thanks,’ Jay says quietly. ‘You good?’
She nods. ‘Yeah, I’m good. Vanessa is just…’
‘Oh, she seems like a riot,’ Jay grins. ‘I get it.’
The nerve-wracking thing is, she thinks he probably does. He’s decent and smart and kind of quietly takes everything in. Susses people out. He leaves her be as a few more customers come in and he and Kev both call out their goodbyes as they head out.
Vanessa joins her at the coffee machine. ‘Okay, your man is hot. I will literally watch Luke for you anytime you ask.’
‘That’s the last comment you get to make,’ Hailey says wielding a carton of milk at her. ‘He’s not ‘my man’ and you just embarrassed the crap out of me.’
‘Okay, okay. I hear you,’ Vanessa says holding up her hands. ‘But he blushes pretty easily too. It’s kind of cute.’
Lexi sidles up beside her and whispers quietly enough for Vanessa not to hear. ‘She’s not wrong, Hailey. How he looks at you when you’re not looking…well, I wish someone looked at me like that.’
She offers a hesitant smile to Lexi who lets it be and fires up the coffee machine.
--------
There’s a knock on her door on Sunday afternoon. When she pulls open the door, she finds Jay on the porch. Toolbox in hand.
‘My dad said he’d promised to fix your screen door. Said he might as well put me to use,’ he says by way of explanation.
‘Oh. Thank you. Yeah, that’d be great if you don’t mind.’
He makes his ways inside scraping his boots off on the mat by the door and heads on through to the kitchen.
‘Thank you,’ she says leaning against the kitchen counter as he crouches down to inspect the lower hinges. She hasn’t seen him since he and Kevin came into the coffee shop the other day but he doesn’t seem phased by Vanessa’s lack of subtlety. ‘You want a drink?’
‘Yeah, just a water please.’
‘Hey, Jay!’ Luke says coming round the corner. A stuffed dinosaur under his arm.
‘Hey, Luke. You okay?’
‘Whatcha doin?’ he asks coming over to look as Jay sets some tools down on a mat.
‘Fixing the screen door for you and your mom.’
‘Mom said it’s a piece of crap.’
‘Luke!’ she cries.
Her son fixes her with a stubborn look that is all her and she only has herself to blame for that. ‘You did. I heard you say it on the phone to Auntie Vanessa.’
She buries her face in her hands. ‘Oh, god.’
Jay clears his throat and changes the subject but he doesn’t manage to keep his amusement out of his voice. ‘You wanna help me fix it?’
‘Can I?’
‘Yeah, come here.’
She tops up a couple of glasses with ice and water and sets them down beside them both on the counter.
Watches as her son mirrors Jay’s crouched position on the floor and listens as he explains what they need to do.
Luke hangs on his every word and is completely focussed. She settles down with her own drink at the table with her laptop and looks through a few things for work but she can’t help but keep glancing at the two of them and the sight they make.
Jay takes the door off its hinges and the two of them head out onto their little back porch to set the door down. They talk quietly so she can’t quite make out what they’re saying but Luke says something that makes Jay laugh and he looks up through the open door. Smile on his face as his eyes meet hers.
And yeah, she has no idea what to do about the man next door who makes her stomach somersault.
--------
He leaves and she kind of misses him being around but it’s also a relief. She’s not sure what to call it when you’re twenty-eight and you get distracted by your very handsome neighbour. Crush kind of seems ridiculous but she thinks it might fit. She enjoys his company and his face and he makes her nervous and relaxed at the same time.
Maybe Vanessa’s right. Maybe she just needs to get some.
Only it can’t be with Jay.
She won’t sully those waters. Not when she thinks too highly of her neighbours. When she appreciates their support and their care so much. They’ve been nothing but welcoming to her and Luke since they moved in.
Caroline and Pat were kind enough to embrace them both with open arms. Kind enough to watch Luke from time to time. Kind enough to answer his endless stream of questions and to include him when they take Owen on days out.
She won’t mess with that.
And he’s not gone, gone. Six weeks’ worth of training down in Georgia so Caroline explained. She doesn’t know training for what but apparently her boy does.
She shouldn’t be surprised. Inquisitions are his speciality, and she thinks it possibly comes as a result of spending so much time around Vanessa.
‘It’s cool, isn’t it?’ he says to her one night when they’re curled up together on the couch.
‘What’s that?’
‘That Jay trains people to be a sniper. Do you know he’s a sergeant first class? I don’t really know what that means but I think he’s like an avenger.’
She’s not sure how she feels about her boy knowing the term ‘sniper’ but he does know it. It’s so damn hard to shield kids from things these days and she knows he’s picked it up from the comic book cartoons he likes so much.
She had no idea that’s what Jay does. No idea he held a rank that sounds so important. A sniper. The thought of it is kind of terrifying and she finds it hard to reconcile with the man he is. Warm, solid, endlessly good to her boy.
Then he goes to war and kills people with precision.
It unsettles her a little but she has endless respect for him too. For what he does.
‘I asked him ‘cause Owen told me that’s what he does and Jay said it’s an important job that people have to do and his job is to train people to do the job right ‘cause otherwise the wrong people get hurt and that’s not okay.’
Luke shifts in her arms and looks up at her and she nods at him. Swallows hard. She’s not sure she could have given her son a better answer to his questions herself.
‘I think Jay’s right, sweetheart. He does an important grown-up job.’
‘I’m looking forward to when he comes back,’ Luke says and then turns back to the TV. ‘I miss him.’
She thinks she might be too.
--------
Luke’s sixth birthday rolls around on a beautiful summer’s day. He’s been at a local sports summer camp most of the week but she keeps him off from it for the day and takes off work herself and the two of them go to Navy Pier together and battling the crowds is so worth it for the smile on his face.
They go for lunch together at a local burger joint and his giggles fill the diner when she manages to get sauce down her top.
When they get home, he checks the mailbox – a job that he loves - as they climb out the car and grins when he says there’s something for him.
When he rips open the envelope as they get through the door, he holds a folded note out to her.
‘This is for you, Mom.’
She frowns as the piece of paper with her name on the front in writing she doesn’t recognise. She’d assumed, hoped for her boy’s sake, that the card might be from his dad, but she’d recognise his handwriting and it’s not from him.
‘It’s from Jay, Mom!’ Luke says holding the card up to show her and practically bouncing up and down on his feet. ‘He remembered. That’s so cool.’
She watches as he goes to set it down with his other cards on the windowsill. Takes note of the way he moves another card towards the back and replaces it with Jay’s so it stands at the front alongside hers and Vanessa’s and the one Owen made for him.
She opens the note and looks down. His handwriting is some sort of bizarre mishmash of upper and lowercase letters but somehow it’s still neat.
Hi Hailey,
I hope it’s okay I sent Luke a card for his birthday. He kept telling me how excited he was when I was back home.
If you send him over to my parents’ place, there’s something for him there. Don’t freak out. It cost like $15 and I got it before I left to come down here.
Hope you’re alright,
Jay
God, he remembered. He remembered her son’s birthday and planned ahead to get him something. She’s touched by his care and she knows it’s a Halstead thing, they’re good people, but he didn’t have to do this and he has.
‘Hey Luke, if you go and use your manners I think there might be something for you next door from Jay.’
‘Really?’ he beams.
It’s a soccer ball. She should have guessed. It’s simple and thoughtful and it has him occupied for the rest of the afternoon until the Halstead clan and Vanessa and Kevin come over to sing him a happy birthday and have some cake.
She looks around at their full home and smiles to herself. Moving here might just be one of the best decisions she ever made.
Vanessa gets everyone crowded round and snaps a few group selfies on Hailey’s phone for her. Luke front and centre with a party hat on his head and his toothy smile shining through.
She looks through the photos as people dig into their cake and Caroline comes to have a look at them too gushing over them and asking her to send them over to her but when the elder woman’s eyes settle on hers and there’s a knowing smile on her face, Hailey thinks she knows the thought that’s just run through Hailey’s head.
There’s someone missing.
———-
It ends up being eight weeks rather than six and he comes home as summer fades into fall. It’s nice having him back around the place again.
She likes his company and it’s not that his looks get less appealing, but she gets more attuned to being around him. He puts her at ease.
He starts up helping out his father and Kevin once more with the business and she’s busy with Crumbs but he’s only a stone’s throw away and though it might sound daft, she can feel that he’s there.
That he’s in her corner.
--------
He’d caved. Caved and asked his dad a while back about Luke’s dad.
It was just the two of them in the truck driving home one night and his dad had brought up Hailey and Luke in the conversation and it had given him the in he’d been looking for.
‘What’s the deal with his dad?’ he’d asked readjusting the cap on his head.
His dad had barked out a laugh and Jay had shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
‘Asking for any particular reason, son?’
‘Just asking. They deserve good things.’
His words had softened his dad’s teasing. ‘They do. Look, the snooping is more your mother’s department but I get why you haven’t asked her and I’m glad you didn’t because I’m the one who’d hear about it twenty-four seven when she gets her hopes up.’
His father had been quiet for another minute or so.
‘All I really know is he’s not around. Luke never seems to go spend any time with him or anything like that, but he exists. Guy phoned when we were all round there on his birthday but Luke spent about thirty seconds on the phone to him and Hailey looked less than impressed.’
‘Right,’ he’d said feeling his jaw clench as he looked down at his hands in his lap.
They deserve so much better.
‘Son, you’re a good man.’
He’d whipped his head back up as his father had pulled the truck up in the driveway but made no move to get out.
‘You are but you sometimes get in your own head. I know you carry things from your deployments. I know you’ve been to hell and back but you’re a good man and Hailey and Luke deserve good things. Some things really are that simple.’
And with that his father had clapped him on the back and disappeared inside leaving him sat in the truck with his heart pounding in his chest.
He’s been enamoured by Hailey since the start. From that very first night when those blue eyes of hers had landed on his. She’s beautiful and kind and the best mom. She has no idea how much simply being around her and Luke makes him feel better. Lighter.
The load which he carries - what he’s seen and what he’s done - feels easier to shoulder in their company. Has from the start but he hadn’t quite let himself quite contemplate what that meant until that moment.
He likes her. He likes her in a way that feels real and when there’s a little tap on the window to the truck a few minutes later and he opens the door to see Luke smiling up at him with ice cream around his mouth, he also knows it feels right.
Vanessa seems to have read his realisation on his face when he sees her. She’s always teased them both something rotten the handful of times he’s seen her but the next couple of times he pulls into Crumbs, she’s practically giddy when she looks at his face and suspiciously quiet.
Almost as if she’s waiting for him to say something but he wouldn’t know what to say. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything he can say. He heard his father’s words about him being a good man and he thinks most of the time that might be true but he’s not a man who’s here.
He leaves.
He leaves and there’s always a chance he might not return, and he can’t ask that of anyone.
To wait.
Let alone when there’s a child involved.
A child he loves. There’s no sense denying it. That kid has had him by the jugular from the first night when he gambolled across the lawn. He’d do anything for Luke.
(Hailey too.)
He’d worried about them both when he was down in Georgia. Not because Hailey isn’t more than capable but because he cares. So much.
Because despite the joy they both bring to everyone around them, he can see the pain Hailey carries and he’ll help her carry it if she lets him.
He wants to take care of them both.
He’s been back a few weeks but they have a few days break in between jobs and he’s not long got back from being out for a ride on his motorcycle when his mom calls out to him from the front door.
‘Jay, you got a friend at the door.’
He frowns. He’s not all that sure who’d be knocking on his parents’ front door for him and he slides off his stool with a frown on his face but when he steps into the hallway his mom is grinning from ear to ear before she widens the door open further.
He’s not sure who he was expecting but a six-year-old calling for him wasn’t really it.
‘Luke? You okay?’
The boy is smiling too so he assumes there’s nothing wrong, but he still wonders where Hailey is right now. If she’s okay.
‘Hi, Jay. You wanna come to the park with me? I’m gonna take my soccer ball.’
‘Your mom know you’re over here?’
He flashes Jay that damn dimpled smile of Hailey’s that makes his heart clench in his chest. ‘She said I could ask a friend.’
His mom barely contains her laughter behind him as he crouches down to be closer to Luke’s height.
‘I think she probably meant someone your age.’
‘But they’re no good,’ he sighs.
Now it’s Jay’s turn to bite back a laugh. The boy takes his soccer seriously.
‘Where is your mom?’
‘In the yard on the phone.’
‘So she doesn’t know you left the house?’
‘I walked over the lawn. I didn’t even go on the sidewalk.’
‘Still. You gotta stay at home if that’s where your mom is expecting you to be. Imagine how worried she’d be if she realises you weren’t there.’
Luke’s shoulders slump. ‘Are you gonna tell her? ‘Cause I already think she’s sad.’
That gives him pause but he can’t ask her kid why she’s sad.
‘Promise me not to walk off from your mom again?’
‘Promise.’
And he looks so solemn that Jay, rightly or wrongly, takes him at his word.
‘Okay then. Come on.’
He pulls the door closed behind him on his mom’s gleeful face then reaches out a hand to grab Luke’s shoulder as he goes to take a shortcut through the roses. ‘Kid, my mom adores you, but you don’t wanna trample her flower bed. Been there and done that.’
He pulls a face at the memory that makes Luke laugh.
Luke let’s himself through the side gate into his own yard and Jay hesitates before he follows.
Hailey is pacing from side to side down the far end of the yard like she’s trying to be sure Luke wouldn’t hear her phone conversation from in the house but her voice carries.
‘I just, this can’t be happening.’
Jay ruffles Luke’s hair. ‘Hey, why don’t you go put some sneakers on rather than your crocs, okay?’
Luke nods and scampers off into the house.
‘Why is he doing this?’ Hailey says into her phone. She listens to whoever is on the other end of the line and then drags a hand through her hair before she speaks again.
‘No, I know. I don’t need this. Luke doesn’t need this.’
He assumes the ‘he’ in question must be Luke’s father. Feels himself straighten up. Whatever is going on has Hailey rattled.
The screen door slams shut once more as Luke comes back outside and Hailey turns to spot the two of them in the yard. Paints a smile on her face.
‘Okay. Yeah, talk to you tomorrow. Thank you.’
‘Hey, Mom,’ Luke says when she shoves her phone back in the pocket of her jacket. ‘Jay said he can come to the park with us.’
‘I, what? I thought you wanted to bring a –,’ she tails off as realisation hits and folds her arms over her chest. ‘You totally conned Jay into coming to play soccer with you, didn’t you?’
‘No, I asked him.’
‘Luke, sweetheart.’
‘Mom, he said yes and he’s so much better than the other kids in my class. And you.’
‘Charming,’ she huffs but her own dimple shows giving her away.
‘Go get your jacket then,’ she says to Luke before turning to address Jay. ‘You really don’t need to come.’
He frowns at her words. At the anxiety creasing her brow. ‘I won’t if it makes you uncomfortable.’
‘No, it’s not you. Just, not the greatest news.’
He finds himself stepping closer. Reaching out to place a hand on her forearm. They never touch and she looks down at where his hand rests on her arm before looking up into his face.
‘I’m ready!’
Luke’s excited voice has them both stepping back. The moment broken.
But he keeps an eye on her the whole walk to the park. She glances across at him a couple of times and offers him a smile, but it doesn’t quite meet her eyes and he knows something is wrong.
---------
God, he just worships Jay and she doesn’t know what to do about it.
Jay had turned his cap backwards so Luke had. Jay had moved out the way on the path to give a woman with a stroller more room, so Luke had the next time one came by.
It makes her stomach do somersaults because she doesn’t know what to do. She told herself she doesn’t want her boy getting too attached but he already is. He was after a half hour in Jay’s company.
And it pains her, angers her somewhat too, because she knows she’s a good mom, or the best she can be at the very least, but she’s not been able to give him this. Something he’s so clearly been craving: a man to look up to.
And Jay is decent and kind. He’s a little haunted too. She sees it in his gaze at times. Sees it in the way his shoulders tense when someone thanks him for his service.
She can’t imagine what he’s seen. Done.
But he’s a good guy. A good man raised by good parents and she swears moving in next door to the Halsteads was the best stroke of luck she’s had in a long time.
But she knows her boy and she knows his heart. Knows it’s attached to the man currently walking towards her with her kid’s soccer ball tucked under his arm. The one, funnily enough, that Jay bought him for his birthday.
‘He okay to go on the playground for a bit?’
‘Yeah, of course,’ she answers. She’s got a good view of him from here.
‘He’s getting good.’
‘He is. Thank you for coming. I know he’s hard to say no to, but I do appreciate it.’
‘No worries,’ he says lifting his cap off to run a hand through his hair. He tilts his head to look at her. ‘Are you okay?’
‘You heard that before then, huh?’
He shoots her an apologetic smile and she pulls the sleeves of her sweatshirt down over her hands.
She’s never really had to explain this to anyone. Vanessa knows because she was there and there’s never been anyone else she’s wanted to share it with but she feels she can with Jay. Feels he won’t look at her differently afterwards.
‘His dad isn’t really on the scene. I’m sure you’ve worked that out. We were young and finding out I was pregnant was a total shock. We’d been together a few months and he didn’t handle it well. Told me he thought we should…you know, look at options.’
She sees Jay’s jaw clench beside her, but he says nothing. Just sits in quiet support and lets her get it out.
‘But I just couldn’t. It was a few months before my twenty-third birthday and I was scared out of my damn mind but I knew. I knew for me that there was only one choice and anyway, he freaked out. Left.’
‘And it’s been you and Luke since?’ he asks quietly.
‘Nope.’ Can’t help the slightly bitter edge to her voice. ‘His dad reappeared when Luke was about fifteen months old, and I was stupid enough to think his words about making a mistake were genuine so we gave it a shot.’
She looks down at her hands. Wrings them together in her lap until Jay reaches across and takes one in his. His hand dwarves hers but the comfort it brings is undeniable.
He only keeps it there for a moment or two but it’s enough. It steadies her.
‘That doesn’t make you stupid. Just means you wanted the best for Luke.’
‘Well, it wasn’t the best.’ She leans back against the bench. Pulls one leg up beneath her. ‘It’s ironic really. His dad has money - plenty of money - but I was the one who took care of everything. The bills, the cooking, Luke for the most part. We argued. He would stay out later and later. When he came home he was cross and then I was cross with him. I don’t know why we even tried. It’s not the life he wanted – being a parent. Never has been.’
And god, that makes her think of the letter she’d gotten in the mail today. It’s clearly the life he never wants to have. She got that message loud and clear. Angry tears spring to her eyes.
‘God, I’m sorry. Today, this morning, I got a letter in the mail from his lawyers.’
She sees Jay’s face pale and she knows he thinks it’s about custody or something but it’s not. That would involve him wanting to spend time with his son.
‘It’s not that,’ she explains. ‘The letter is contesting paternity. He’s trying to claim he’s not his father and I just – how could he do that? How could he not want him?’
She sees Jay glance over to the playground to check on Luke and then he shifts to fully face her on the bench covering her hands in his once more. ‘I have no idea,’ he says. ‘You have a brilliant boy. A boy you raised to be good and kind and so damn smart. Funny too.’
‘Eugh,’ she says swiping at a tear.
‘And that’s all you, Hailey. I’m sorry his dad doesn’t see what everyone else can see but Luke is lucky. He wants for nothing.’
She nods at his words. They’re everything she thinks she probably needs to hear but she wants the world for Luke and that included a father who wasn’t trying to deny his existence.
‘Was it your lawyer on the phone then earlier?’
‘Erm, no,’ she says letting out a breath that he thinks she might have a lawyer at her disposal. ‘An old friend of Vanessa’s is doing pre-law. She was just giving me some advice.’
Jay clears his throat and nods. ‘Right, okay.’
She dries her tears as Luke calls out to them both to show them how quickly he can get across the little traverse wall.
And Jay spends the rest of the afternoon with them. Takes them both for lunch at a local diner and then they walk around the neighbourhood. She knows what he’s doing. Keeping an eye on her. He offers to watch Luke for a while if she wants to go and see Vanessa and her heart lurches in her chest at his kindness.
‘It’s okay. Thank you. She’s coming over later with food but thank you.’
And when Luke hugs Jay goodbye and thanks him for playing soccer with him, she digs her nails into the palm of her hand to stop herself from getting emotional.
How could someone not want him?