Work Text:
SLAM
"H- hold on, huh?!"
Tsukasa immediately gasped, moving to bang against the closet door. "Hey, let us out! This isn't funny, you...!"
The two boys could hear faint snickering from outside the wooden doors, and Tsukasa grumbled angrily. "When we get out, I won't hesitate to report you three-!!"
Rui put a hand on Tsukasa's shoulder. "Tsukasa, calm down."
Tsukasa looked over at Rui as faint footsteps slowly faded away from outside. "How are we supposed to get out..?!" He hissed, "We don't have our phones- it's so dark in here, too..."
Rui hummed. "It's not that dark," He muttered to himself, "As long as someone finds us."
"Everyone is leaving now!" Tsukasa cried out in a panic. "Our stuff is in our lockers, we can't get out of here if we don't call for help!"
Rui sighed, "I suppose you're right." He moved over to knock on the door. "Hello?" He called out, "Is anybody there..?"
No response.
"Everyone is probably downstairs already," Tsukasa whined, "What are we supposed to do?"
Rui nudged Tsukasa, narrowing his eyes. "Hold on, let me see if there's a way I can unlock the door from in here."
Tsukasa nodded, slowly inching away from the door. There was only so much space he could move in through this cramped closet, and it made him feel uneasy.
He didn't know why. But he felt his heart pounding in his tightened chest, and he didn't know why he was feeling this way.
Rui squinted at the door, feeling around for any way he could try and unlock the closet. To both his and Tsukasa's dismay, he found nothing.
The closet was stuffy and warm. It was hard to breathe.
"Tsukasa, are you alright?" Rui asked, looking over at the blond. He looked uncharacteristically nervous- uncomfortable. Was he claustrophobic?
Tsukasa's eyes widened, and he laughed. "H-Huh?! Of course I'm fine, Rui!" He exclaimed, his voice wavering slightly. "This is just a mere obstacle in my path to becomes the worlds greatest star! I can handle this!"
He was hiding his fear; Rui could tell. Despite being almost in complete darkness, he could still notice how Tsukasa's voice shook, how his smile was faltering just the tiniest bit.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am, Rui!" Tsukasa nodded. "It's going to be alright- EEP!!"
The blond suddenly jolted, banging his head against the ceiling of the closet. "OWWWWOWOWOWEOWOWOWWWW......!!!!!!"
"Tsukasa-!" Rui pulled Tsukasa closer to him, bringing him to the crack between the door so he could examine him. "Are you alright?"
"I felt like there was a spider." Tsukasa grumbled, rubbing his head as he winced in pain. "It's alright, the pain will fade."
Rui nodded, sighing. "Alright.."
He moved to sit down on the floor, and Tsukasa cringed. "Why are you sitting down?"
"I mean, it's the janitors closet." Rui replied, shrugging. "It's probably clean, right?"
Tsukasa frowned. He didn't think it was. It didn't feel clean to him.
Nothing him feel clean to him in here. He didn't know why.
To Tsukasa, it was tight. It was dark. It was dark, and he couldn't see anything. If he couldn't see anything, how could he know what was inside this closet with him? The bugs, crawling all over him, over his body like a playground—
Huh?
Where did that thought come from..?
Tsukasa shivered, taking a deep breath. It was okay, it was okay..! It wasn't like there were any spiders here, right? It was just like what Rui said. It was fine, it was fine.
Rui looked over at Tsukasa, frowning at his unsettled expression. He could tell that he was hiding his fear; he could tell that there was more to this.
Or maybe he was looking too much into this. Maybe he was worrying over nothing- but this didn't seem like nothing to him. There was more to this, something was wrong and Tsukasa clearly wasn't open to telling him.
But Rui wanted to know anyway. He was worried for Tsukasa- he looked distressed and he wanted to help him.
Perhaps it was selfish of him. But he wanted to do anything he could.
"Tsukasa," Rui spoke up, taking the blond's hand. "Are you sure you're alright?"
Tsukasa blinked, looking over at Rui. "H-huh?"
"Are you sure you're alright?" Rui repeated, a concerned expression on his face. "You seem uncomfortable with this situation."
"I.."
Tsukasa coughed awkwardly, "Well, of course I am..!" He replied hastily, "We're locked in a closet at nobody knows we're here, and I don't even know if we can even get out!"
Rui raised an eyebrow, smirking playfully. "Well, at least we'll spend the night together~!"
Tsukasa narrowed his eyes. "That's not the point, Rui!" He yelled out, "What if our family thinks we've been kidnapped?! What will happen then?! They're gonna be so worried, oh god..!"
The blond began to rub his arms up and down in an attempt to comfort himself. He didn't know why he was getting so worked up over this, but he was getting so worried and he didn't know why.
"Tsukasa, calm down," Rui directed, "It's going to be okay. We're going to get through this,"
"I don't want to be here all night," Tsukasa whispered to himself. Rui took his arms, pulling him close. "I don't like this, Rui."
Rui narrowed his eyes. "Did something like this happen before, Tsukasa?" He asked gently, running his fingers through his hair.
Tsukasa inhaled sharply, looking up at Rui and pulling away.
"Did something-"
"Have fun in there, Tenma!"
Tsukasa gasped, his eyes widening.
That- those words, hold on, hold on, that wasn't...
"Hey, let me out...! This isn't funny! HEY-!"
Tsukasa slammed a hand over his mouth, his breaths growing heavy and laboured.
No, nonono.
He remembered.
He remembered now.
Why he felt this way, why he felt so cramped, as if the air was being squeezed out of him, why he felt like there were bugs, insects, spiders, ants, crawling all over, all over him.
He knew why he felt this way.
Because it happened.
It happened before, it happened and Tsukasa tried to forget it. He had tried to forget it, he remembered now.
He remembered.
He remembered, and all the memories were suddenly pouring back into his head, reminding him of that horrible experience, how he felt, what he thought and heard and saw–
"Tsukasa," Rui spoke up worriedly, "Are you alright-?"
But Tsukasa didn't reply. He was too wrapped up in those memories, and all he could see were their faces, their taunting faces as they shoved Tsukasa into the closet, grinning and smirking with malicious intent.
"Let me out!" Tsukasa had cried out, "Please, this isn't funny!"
But one of them had just laughed. He was standing in the middle, two other boys at his side holding the door closed so Tsukasa couldn't get out. "Why, do you not want to be alone?" He taunted, snickering. There was a smug expression on his face as he took out a small box from his bag.
"Well then, I hope don't mind the company..!"
He opened the box with and with the swift movement of his hands, he quickly threw it into the closet.
Tsukasa's eyes had widened, and he had screamed.
He had screamed, he had yelled out in horror as the closet door slammed shut and he heard the latch locking-
And then he felt it.
He felt them, the bugs, scuttling across his legs, up his legs and onto his body, and he screamed. He fucking screamed, he cried and sobbed, begging, desperately crying and pleading for help, to be let out, to get out here to get these things, these demons, these little, tiny insects and bugs with their legs and antennas crawling, crawling, crawling on his body to get off, off, off, OFF-
He could feel them.
Tsukasa could feel them as they scurried across his legs like a playground, he could feel them grazing against his skin like small strands of hair, he could feel their legs, their bodies exploring his own, it was disgusting, he wanted them to get off him, he needed them to get off him.
And suddenly, Tsukasa couldn't breathe.
His chest was tight, constricting, squeezing the air out of him and he couldn't get it back, he couldn't.
He wheezed desperately, clutching his neck and clawing at it in a fruitless attempt to breathe, to get some air in, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe—
"Tsukasa, calm down..!"
He heard a voice calling out to him, through blurry, tear-filled eyes, he could see a hand reaching towards him, to touch him to touch, touch-
Just like those bugs on his skin.
Tsukasa screamed, slapping the hand away and pressing himself against the corner. "NO!!"
Why were the walls closing on him?
It was tight, too tight, too small, too dark, too much of everything Tsukasa hated.
He felt the bugs on his skin still, crawling, crawling as if they were really there on him.
"Tsukasa," The voice repeated his name. "It's just me, Rui. Can you hear me?"
Tsukasa wheezed, squeezing his eyes shut.
Rui was here.
Rui was here-?
"Can you hear me, Tsukasa?" Rui asked once more, his voice a gentle whisper. "Just nod if you can."
Shakily, Tsukasa nodded, his body still pressed against the wall. His breaths came in quick, desperate gasps, panting heavily as his hands clawed at his neck, at his shirt collar.
"That's good." Rui nodded back, smiling. "Tsukasa, can you take deep breaths for me?"
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths?
No, no, he was trying, he was already trying but he couldn't, he couldn't do anything, he was stuck, trapped, please—
"Just inhale and hold, then exhale," Rui guided him softly, "Take a deep breath, and hold it, then let it out. Can you do that for me, my star?"
Inhale.
Inhale, then exhale.
Inhale, then-?
Tsukasa whined, opening his mouth and inhaling sharply.
"That's it," Rui whispered, "Can you hold it? Just for a few seconds, then let it out."
Hold.
Hold it.
Rui's words repeated in Tsukasa's head, and he nodded once more.
Inhale, then hold it- and let it out.
Tsukasa took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds— one, two, three, four— then let it out.
"Exactly, just like that," Rui nodded again, "Good job, you're doing great, Tsukasa. Keep it up, it's okay."
Tsukasa breathed again, in, hold, out- in, hold, out..
He could breathe. He could breathe again, it was okay.
It was okay.
It was okay.
Tsukasa opened his eyes. He couldn't feel them anymore, he couldn't feel the bugs crawling around on his skin.
He inhaled shakily, looking up at Rui and wiping his eyes. "Rui..."
"Do you want me to touch you, Tsukasa?" Rui asked softly, tilting his head to the side. "I won't if you don't want me to."
Tsukasa paused, before shaking his head no. "Sorry."
"It's fine, Tsukasa." Rui smiled warmly. " I just want you to feel comfortable."
Tsukasa nodded. He took another deep breath, blinking rapidly. "No, sorry for you having to see that..!" He muttered, "It definitely wasn't one of my best moments, I admit.."
Rui shook his head, "Don't apologize. I get it- you're allowed to be scared in these types of situations. You don't need to hide from me, Tsukasa-kun."
"No, it isn't that.." Tsukasa replied, "I wasn't even sure why I felt so scared until you mentioned having.. been through it before."
Rui's eyes widened slightly. "Have you?" He asked curiously.
Tsukasa paused for a split moment, before nodding with a small smile. "I don't want to talk about it," He confessed, sighing. "But... thanks, Rui. I mean it."
Rui nodded back, "Anytime. I'll always be here for you, whether you're ready or not."
Tsukasa looked at Rui, feeling a warm blush spread across his cheeks. He swore his heart skipped a beat, too. What was going on with him today, seriously..? From whatever just happened to him earlier, to this new feeling-
Well.. it wasn't new, per say- admittedly, Tsukasa had felt this way around Rui sometimes before. But he still had no idea what it meant! He never felt this way around anybody but Rui! Not even before he met him, it started AFTER he did! And ONLY when he was with Rui, or thinking about Rui, or... something, he didn't know!
Tsukasa wanted to find out what this feeling meant. He wanted to know just what Rui had done to him, and why he made him feel this way inside!
The blond inhaled, "Yeah, thanks, Rui- and the same goes for you, too! You can tell me anything you want to."
Rui chuckled lightly, staring back at Tsukasa with a warm, tender smile of his own. "Of course, Tsukasa."
The two boys nodded towards each other, and Tsukasa inched a bit closer to Rui.
"Yeah."
...He wanted to hug him.