Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Jennie got dumped.

It was not exactly the cordial, amicable parting of a good relationship coming to an end. There were no hints, no warnings, nothing to indicate that Jennie was about to become single in the span of fifteen minutes. It wasn’t a mutual agreement either; Jennie had not been planning on breaking up with her boyfriend of three years, much less when they lived together and pretty much had their future together figured out.

She didn’t see it coming.

Had she known, she would have DEFINITELY dumped him first.

Jennie hated it. She hated the fact that she had let someone get rid of her like she was a nuisance. She hated that she had no say in the breakup. She hated that someone like her was considered not good enough .

But more than anything, she was pissed.

After screaming and yelling at her now ex-boyfriend for a little over an hour, Jennie was left walking on the busy streets of Seoul with nothing but a bruised ego and a broken heart.

“Screw him,” she muttered angrily under her breath as she pushed past the crowds of people enjoying the city’s nightlife. She didn’t really care about the looks of annoyance sent her way, her scowl was enough to make anyone look the opposite direction.

Happy people made her feel sick. The two friends sat having drinks and giggling like teenagers; the couple eating ice cream and holding hands in the middle of the street like they were the only people on this earth; even families with over-excited kids driving home in their stupid family-friendly cars. Jennie scrunched up her nose as she walked past them. Why were people so fucking happy around others? Why couldn’t she be alone and happy just like the rest of them?

Of course, being dumped hurt. As much as Jennie tried to convince herself that she was better off without him, she still despised the feeling of… well, not being the dumper . It was selfish, she knew that much. But how could she not feel that way when she was the one walking alone in the middle of the night while her ex-boyfriend had the right to stay in the comfort of their house?

He should have been the one to walk out. It would have been polite.

Regardless of how much Jennie thought of it, there was still nothing she could do. She didn’t really have a place to go. If she called her friends and asked to stay over, there would be a questioning session for sure. Jennie wasn’t really up for that conversation just yet, especially considering how much her friends liked her ex-boyfriend. After all, she couldn’t really explain why she got dumped out of nowhere when she didn’t expect it herself.

After realising that she had been walking for a while with no clear destination, Jennie paused and took a quick look at her surroundings. Most places that were open were mainly bars and fancy restaurants, certainly not what Jennie needed. She stared at the various neon signs and wondered if there was somewhere that wouldn’t have been filled with people after 9 p.m. on a Friday evening. Weirdly enough, her eyes stopped at a dirty Kim’s Fried Chicken & Burgers banner outside what seemed to be a fast-food shop. The building itself was clearly not in the best shape, and there were quite a few people that passed by and didn’t bother to even glance inside. The windows and glass door allowed Jennie to scan the place and confirm her assumption—no customers.

Perfect.

Without waiting for a change of mind, Jennie walked away from the crowded area and headed towards the secluded building at the end of the road.

With her long black coat and high heels, Jennie presumed that she was probably overdressed to walk into a fast-food place, but that didn’t stop her from pushing the door open and making her way to the front counter with the utmost confidence.

Waiting at the other end was a girl in her mid-twenties at most. Although Jennie did not exactly have the friendliest look on her face, the girl didn’t seem too bothered. She was standing with her arms crossed on the counter, her back bent as she comfortably leaned on it. The red apron she was wearing was far from clean, and her black cap looked fairly wrinkled, as if it had just been taken out from a back pocket.

“Welcome, what can I get for you?”

Jennie squinted her eyes and stared at the small menu hanging above. The options were basic and plain. No special deal, no meal of the day, no recommended combo. Chances were that the customers all ordered the exact same thing, and the menu was just for show. Still, that didn’t stop Jennie from getting what she wanted.

“How healthy would you consider your food?”

“Wait, what? Is this a hygiene inspection? Another one?” The girl went from being relaxed to a state of complete panic right in front of Jennie’s eyes. “Oh, c’mon! Not even the decency to at least let us know? I didn’t prepare for this!”

“I think there’s a mis—”

“PLEASE don’t ask for my manager ‘cause she’s out on a date and I promised I’ll cover for her, but the boss doesn’t know and I don’t wanna get fired.”

This time, the girl took off her cap and held it between her joint hands. “Please let this slide, come back tomorrow and we’ll be ready! I swear we’re not filthy, just VERY disorganised.”

Jennie couldn’t help but roll her eyes at that point. “I’m not a fucking hygiene inspector.”

She received a blank stare from the worker. Jennie remained with her eyebrows furrowed and her arms crossed, waiting for the dramatic reaction to her question to be over. Slowly, the girl put her cap back on and went back to her original position.

“Welcome, what can I get for you?”

“I already asked. How healthy would you consider your food?”

“I dunno,” Lisa shrugged, “how healthy do you reckon fried chicken and burgers are?”

Jennie nodded. “Perfect. I want the greasiest, calorie-filled burger you can make in…” she glanced at her wristwatch, “ten minutes max.”

“Uh, sure?”

Jennie left a few notes on the counter and walked towards the closest table. Noticing the amount of money that was handed to her, the girl cleared her throat and hesitantly spoke up.

“Excuse me, you forgot the change.”

“Keep it all.”

“But… this money is worth at least ten burgers. And fries. And probably a drink, too.”

Jennie tried her best to not groan.

It wasn’t her money. For some reason, her ex-boyfriend thought it would have been considerate to leave her with some pity money right before she stormed out of the house. Logically, Jennie did not even think about spending it on a place to stay the night like he probably wished she would. No, following his wishes was far from what she wanted to do that night.

“I asked for one damn burger. Can you do that? Or shall I go elsewhere?”

Jennie knew she had nowhere else to go, but the last thing she needed was a stranger questioning her when all she wanted to do was to scream in frustration.

“Oh, no. That’s… okay, I guess. I’ll get your burger.”

It didn’t take ten minutes for Jennie to receive her order. Considering the term fast-food , Jennie didn’t expect anything less, and somehow the soggy looking burger was not as appalling as she would usually think on a good day. A day where she didn’t get dumped.

“Uh, enjoy… I guess.”

Jennie knew she was probably being extremely rude to this poor worker that had likely been standing behind the counter the whole day, but all she could do was focus on the greasy burger and ignore everything else.

A burger.

How long had it been since Jennie ate one? Probably three years. Maybe less, if she counted the times where she secretly stopped by the burger place next to her work building during the first few months of her relationship.

Her ex-boyfriend hated junk food.

He was the typical gym guy addicted to protein shakes and morning runs. He had a charming smile and muscles to die for, and Jennie was young and stupid to actually fall for him. Stupid enough to change parts of her lifestyle to suit his.  

She continued to stare, glare , at the plate in front of her without realising that a few minutes had already passed since she received it.  Jennie didn’t have to look up to know that the girl at the counter was stealing curious glances, but luckily, she had not opened her mouth to make any more stupid questions that Jennie wasn’t willing to answer.

Then, Jennie picked up her burger and squeezed it between her fingers a little harder than what she was supposed to. Some of the sauce had started to drip from the bottom and get on her hands, but Jennie couldn’t care less. She hesitated a split second before opening her mouth and taking the biggest bite she could muster.

It tasted like oil and fat and everything unhealthy all at once. And at the same time, it tasted pretty fucking amazing.

Jennie let out a quiet laugh as she continued to chew her bite, but soon after swallowing it, the lump in her throat remained.

And for the first time since Jennie left her house, tears ran down her cheeks as she finally let out a sob. She really tried her best to hold herself back, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth as she continued to be pathetic and cry over a breakup. But she had been dumped and called not good enough and she hadn’t eaten a burger in years just to be good enough and yet… that still wasn’t, well, enough.

Even though her vision had gotten extremely blurry, Jennie noticed a hand come into view holding a box of tissues and a bottle of water. She refused to look up at the girl knowing full well that her cheeks were flushed red, and her eyes were probably not any better. After her breathing had returned close to normal, she left the now deformed burger on her plate and grabbed a few tissues to clean her hands. She then uncapped the brand-new water bottle and took big gulps, drinking in approximately half of the water. She reached for a couple more tissues to dry her stupid tears and try to look a little less miserable.

“Thank you,” she managed to mutter really quietly. It wasn’t really an issue since Jennie was the only customer and the counter girl most likely had her full attention on her.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she shrugged it off. Jennie somehow couldn’t sense any awkwardness as the girl stood with her back pressed to the front of the counter and her arms comfortably crossed. When Jennie grew confident enough to meet her eyes, the girl grinned. “It’s not every day that my food makes people cry. I knew I was good, but damn. I’m really flattered.”

Maybe it was because she was expecting fake words of reassurance and more looks of pity, but Jennie raised an eyebrow in amusement at the cheerful response. This time, she wasn’t able to hide the hint of a smile, and she didn’t miss the way the girl’s grin grew wider.

“It was a good burger.”

“Thank you. I make even better ones when I’m not ten hours into my shift.”

 Jennie looked back down at the disaster she made and pressed her lips together. “Sorry, I kinda destroyed it. I don’t usually… do this.”

“Do what? Barge into fast-food places, aggressively order a burger, or squeeze the shit out of it while in tears?”

“All of the above,” Jennie sighed. She once again took a sip of water from the opened bottle. “Also, I’m sorry about the aggressive side of it all. I had a bad day.”

And Jennie really was sorry. She knew that when she was in a bad mood people avoided her like the plague, and she still couldn’t believe she hadn’t been kicked out of the place as soon as she stepped in.

“I figured.” Jennie watched as the girl hesitantly stepped towards her, cautiously taking a seat on the opposite side of her table. Once she didn’t receive any words of protest, she relaxed and leaned back. “I don’t want be the person to ask do you wanna talk about it when you clearly don’t. But is there anything at all I can do to make your day a little less bad?”

Her tone was extremely comforting, and Jennie momentarily forgot that she had spent the last few hours wishing that someone would have the decency to hit her with a car.

She was right. Jennie didn’t want to talk about it. That was the reason she didn’t call any of her friends in the first place. Talking wouldn’t make her feel better that night. Maybe the day after, or the day after that. Talking about it would have worked if she was sad. But she wasn’t sad yet, she was still fucking pissed and all she wanted was to find a way to take all the built-up anger outside of her system.

Of course, the girl in front of her didn’t know a thing about Jennie’s life. It was some kind of advantage given that Jennie had no intention to explain why she was feeling pissed, or whether or not she had the right to be.

Strangers didn’t need to know details. Jennie could just go straight to the point.

“Tell me, what would you do to teach your ex-boyfriend a lesson after you’ve been dumped?”

The girl parted her lips in surprise, but then proceeded to clear her throat rub the back of her neck. She laughed awkwardly, “you mean like… throw eggs at his house or wreck his car with a golf club like they do in movies?”

The question was rhetorical and clearly was not meant to be taken seriously, but to Jennie, it sounded like pure genius.

She snapped her fingers and sat up straight. “Bingo!”

“Huh?”

Without waiting a second longer, Jennie reached into her bag and pulled out her purse. She fished out a few notes and placed them on the table, sliding them towards the girl in front of her.

“May I hire you to do something close to crazy tonight?”

The girl’s cheeks turned pink as she held up her hands. “Whoa, whoa, hold up. Listen… ma’am, I don’t really offer that kind of service.”

Jennie rolled her eyes at the implication. “I meant your assistance. I’m not looking for… that… service .”

“Oh.”

Maybe she was being too forward, but Jennie didn’t have much time before the spark of insanity disappeared. At the tender age of twenty-six, Jennie was going to be petty and feel proud about it regardless of what anyone had to say. 

“So? Are you in?”

Jennie involuntarily started to shake her leg up and down as she waited for a response, but the girl simply looked down at the cash and then back up at her. She tapped her fingers on the table as she gave Jennie a look she couldn’t quite decipher.

“Okay, deal.”

Jennie let out a small breath of relief. “Great, I didn’t really have alternatives if you had turned me down.”

The girl didn’t really reply to that. She nodded stiffly and looked behind her at the wall clock. “What exactly do you need me to do this late at night?”

“Oh, you’ll see soon enough. Do you happen to have eggs in here?”

“It’s a fast-food place, not a diner. But… I have some at my apartment.”

“How far is it from here?”

The girl held up her index and pointed upwards. “The floor above.”

“You live in the same building as your workplace?”

“It’s convenient,” the girl shrugged, seemingly not really bothered by Jennie’s doubtful gaze.

“Cool.” Jennie barely started to get out of her seat before she sat back down abruptly. “What’s your name?”

Under any other circumstances, asking for a stranger’s name would have been among the first things Jennie would have done. Those, however, were not exactly normal circumstances , and Jennie completely overlooked the fact that she had no information about the person in front of her other than that she worked at a cheap fast-food shop with very long shifts.

She watched as the girl bit her bottom lip nervously, although Jennie couldn’t quite tell where the nerves came from. “Uh, Lisa.”

“Lisa?”

The name wasn’t really common in the country, but Jennie didn’t find it strange at all. It fit the girl perfectly, somehow.

Lisa nodded hesitantly, and Jennie smiled reassuringly.

“That’s a nice name. I’m Jennie.”

----

Golf clubs were not an option. Not only because Jennie didn’t own any, but surprisingly, she wasn’t really planning to get arrested that night. Jennie knew that anyone else would have thought the opposite as she walked back to what used to be her home with a pack of eight eggs in her hands.

“This doesn’t feel quite legal.”

Lisa had left her apron and cap behind, leaving her in her light blue jeans and black hoodie. Jennie could hear her slow steps as she followed her lead, but never turned once to check if she was still there. Lisa’s complaints were enough of a confirmation.

“I never said it was.”

“So… it’s illegal?”

“I haven’t said that either.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Jennie stopped walking, causing Lisa to slightly crash into her from behind. She turned around with a stern look and eyed the taller girl with a half glare.

“I told you that I am taking full responsibility if anything happens, which, by the way, would probably be a moderate fine at most. Now, would you please keep it down?”

Lisa gulped and nodded.

They reached Jennie’s area a few moments later. It was quite a contrast compared to where Lisa lived, and Jennie wasn’t the only one that noticed.

“Well, you’re kinda rich, aren’t you?”

Jennie turned her head to the side, observing how Lisa scanned their surroundings with a straight face.

“Not exactly. I only pay…” Jennie sighed as she corrected herself. “Used to pay only half of the living costs.”

“Still, it’s impressive. That’s more than what I could ever afford either way.”

Jennie tried to search for any sign of envy or jealousy in Lisa’s tone, but she found none. She just seemed… at peace. Jennie had received countless digs from colleagues that merely pretended to admire her for what she had achieved in her mid-twenties, but Lisa sounded nothing alike.

“Why do you think that?” she dared to question.

Lisa glanced at her surprised, but a small smile appeared on her lips. “You’ve seen where I work. And you technically know where I live, more or less. Wouldn’t you think the same if you were in my shoes?”

Jennie probably would have.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t hope for more.”

“Yeah, sure. Does hope fix a lot of things in your life?”

Jennie stayed silent as the two kept moving forward. Once she spotted the familiar front gate she walked out of a few hours prior, she stopped walking and gently held Lisa’s arm to halt her movements too.

“No,” she finally answered. “But it does let me sleep at night, so I’m not opposed to it.”

Jennie was still staring at her (old) house, and her eyes paused at the left window on the upper floor. The lights were clearly off in every room.

“Seems like the fucker’s gone to bed with no issues,” she muttered quietly to herself.

She really should not have expected anything. Of course, he was not going to be waiting awake for her to come back when he even provided her with hotel money. And yet, Jennie still hoped he cared. Even a little bit would have been enough to keep her pride intact.

“Careful with the eggs.”

Jennie had barely registered Lisa’s voice before she felt a hand wrap around her wrist. She glanced down to see her own fingers tightly gripping the carton of eggs. She took a deep breath and relaxed her hold, frowning when she noticed the dents she left behind. Luckily, no eggs were harmed.

Lisa withdrew her hand, and Jennie felt her staring quietly. Once again, Lisa did not ask any questions, and Jennie felt grateful.

“Right. We’re here.”

“Great.” Lisa took a step forward and faced the house with her hands resting on her hips. “We’re vandalising this place?”

“No.”

Lisa’s head snapped in Jennie’s direction. “Huh? We came all this way just to stare at your pretty house?”

“Again, no.”

“Then?”

“The house is not ours. It’s rented.”

“So?” Lisa scoffed, “even better. Let him deal with the damage.”

“I can’t. My name is also on the contract, so the house is off-limits.”

“Okay, got it.” Lisa nodded, although she pursed her lips in obvious disappointment. “What are we doing with the eggs?”

Jennie took one last glance at the main bedroom’s window before turning her back to it. She faced the familiar white vehicle on the other side of the one-way street and let her lips turn up into a smirk.

“This bad boy right here.”

The car was her ex-boyfriend’s greatest love. Once upon a time, Jennie believed she came first, but at this stage she figured the four-wheeled beauty had taken over her spot. She had been there when Taeyang first brought it home, proudly twirling the keys around his fingers as Jennie pretended to be impressed by his purchase. She wondered how many times he had used that stupid car to get away from her when he didn’t feel she was enough for him.

When Lisa laid her eyes on the vehicle, she let out a low whistle and shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. “Well, this works too. Go ahead, hit hard and fast.”

“We can’t do that.”

Lisa groaned and followed Jennie as she crossed the street. She mumbled a few words of annoyance that Jennie couldn’t quite hear.

“I don’t get it,” Lisa huffed. “When do we start going crazy and throwing eggs?”

“If we hit the car too hard the alarm could go off, and that’s not exactly ideal, is it?”

Jennie wasn’t happy about it either. She wished more than anything that life could be a movie where she could completely destroy her ex’s belonging with a baseball bat and leave with no consequences, but unfortunately, life was a gigantic bitch instead.

Lisa walked around the vehicle inspecting the fancy interiors. She noticed a keychain hanging from the rear-view mirror.

“So, your ex’s name is…” Lisa squinted to read the three syllables on the keychain, “…Yoo Taeyang?”

“Yeah,” Jennie confirmed dryly.

That keychain used to be hers. Now she felt sick just at the thought of carrying his name around.

Taking a single egg, Jennie passed the carton over to Lisa and approached the side of the car. She made a crack on the egg and hovered it at the top of the windshield before pulling it open and letting the gooey contents slide down the centre of the glass. It was nowhere near as therapeutic as smashing the car to pieces, but it was a start.

“I guess that’ll do.”

Lisa joined her and also took out an egg from the container she still held. She cracked it open with one hand only and just like Jennie, she let the raw egg drop on top of the white hood. “Hope Mr Yoo likes his eggs sunny-side up.”

Jennie snorted and reached to grab her second egg. “He likes them scrambled.”

Using the broken shell, Lisa broke the round yolk apart and spread it around the hood in circles until it was a mess of yellow. “Even better.”  

Even though it was long past midnight and everyone in the neighbourhood was most likely deep asleep, Jennie still did not want to risk getting caught in the act, especially not with Lisa. The girl was merely doing as Jennie asked, or better, paid her to do. As she glanced up, Jennie smiled slightly at her partner in crime’s wide eyes filled with amusement. She was a stranger, and yet Jennie couldn’t be more glad that she didn’t have to get her petty revenge alone. She concluded that being dumped was awful, but being dumped and alone was even worse.

When Lisa noticed that Jennie had stopped moving, she lifted her head and looked up to meet an already waiting gaze. “You’re done already?”

“I think we could spend the whole night here and I still wouldn’t be done,” Jennie sighed, but she managed to pull a faint smile. “And I’m sorry I dragged you with me.”

“Oh, don’t. Are you kidding? I’m getting paid to have fun.”

“I just wish there was more I could do. This…” Jennie vaguely gestured around her chest area, “ …anger is not disappearing.”

“That’s gonna take a while I’m afraid,” Lisa hummed. She took a few steps back from the car and stared at their work of art. There were plenty of spots covered, leaving the carton with one remaining egg. Her brows furrowed at some point, making Jennie stare in wonder.

“You know, I think we can step it up a notch.”

“How?”

Looking back at the other girl, Lisa let a somewhat mischievous grin appear on her lips.

Jennie’s eyes widened in surprise as Lisa pulled out a set of three keys from her jean’s back pocket, holding them up proudly.

“W-we can’t possibly—”

“Oh, hell yeah we can,” Lisa chuckled as she walked over to a rather panicked Jennie. She stretched her free arm to grab one of Jennie’s trembling hands, placing the set of keys right on top of her palm. “Do the honours.”

Jennie pressed her lips tightly together as she stared down at her hand. Out of all the things she had wanted to do that night, keying her ex’s car shouldn’t even be a shocking option. And yet, she still found herself hesitating. Eggs could be washed off pretty easily. Taeyang would be fucking pissed in the morning, but it was nothing that a few scrubs and hot water couldn’t fix. Scratching the car would, however, be a little more serious than that. Why did her conscience have to act up right then and there?

“Jennie, I think we should stop with fairy-tales and get realistic for a moment. You know this is not working anymore.”

Her palm started to tremble more and more. This time it was not with panic.

“You need to understand that I really tried. A relationship is formed by two people and honestly… you’re not giving me enough.”

She curled her fingers and held the keys tightly in her hand.

“It’s not anything that you did, but rather… what you haven’t done.”

She already heard it once. Why did his words echoing in her head hurt just as much they did in real life?

“Take this as a chance to grow and—”

“Hey, hey, come back here.”

Jennie took a sharp intake of breath as her thoughts were interrupted. She glanced up to see Lisa’s kind eyes staring down at her, finally realising that she had let herself get caught in her recollection of events. She felt hands holding both of her shoulders, probably after she was given a slight shake.

“Are you all good? I think I’ve lost you for a minute.”

“Yeah, yeah, I…” Jennie let out a long sigh, dropping her head and staring at the ground. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.”

It was the typical crazy ex scenario, and Jennie wouldn’t be surprised if in a few days she started to receive reprimands from their friend circle. She would be seen as the one to blame. But… was she? Had she been the whole time?

“Jennie.”

Hearing her name leave the girl’s lips for the first time since they met, Jennie couldn’t help but look her in the eyes as she spoke.

“I honestly don’t care about whether or not this is the right thing to do. Heck, I don’t even know if I’ll see you again after tonight.” Lisa still hadn’t let go of Jennie’s shoulders, and somehow her hold was a lot softer than her words. “The only thing I know is that you were the one walking into my workplace and breaking down into tears while your ex is right over there getting his beauty sleep. So, I think you have every fucking right to do whatever you want to do. Be it the right thing or not, that’s not your problem tonight.”

It felt nice.

As selfish and guilty it made her feel, Jennie couldn’t help but admit that having someone back her up was really fucking nice.

Without waiting a second longer, Jennie held one of the keys between her fingers and stepped aside. She pressed the tip to the driver’s door and then… she stepped forward.

Jennie wasn’t in a rush.

With each step, the high-pitched creaking sound that followed was music to her ears, leaving her with no choice but to let out a rather evil chuckle. No guilt whatsoever, just pure satisfaction.

The sound continued until she reached the back of the car, sliding the key off with one last scratch to finish off the job. When she turned around, she was greeted by Lisa’s relaxed figure leaning back against the only clean spot on the car hood. Jennie matched her grin.

“So…” Lisa breathed out as she traced the long scratch with her fingers, “are we good to head back?”

“Not just yet,” Jennie mused as she walked back to Lisa. She returned the keys with a pleased smile, but soon after, she picked up the last egg left in the carton. “I have one last thing I want to do.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow in both surprise and anticipation. She trailed behind Jennie as the girl made her way back to the front gate of the house. “You said the house was not on the table.”

“It wasn’t,” Jennie replied as she pulled out her own keys from her coat pockets. “But one egg can’t hurt, can it?”

Lisa only shrugged. She didn’t have any protests, and Jennie was more than happy to continue. She picked out the gate key and opened it as quietly as she could. Once she had the front door before her eyes, she smirked.

“Hey Lisa,” she called, getting a hum in response. “Once this egg leaves my hand, we run. Got it?”

Jennie heard a small laugh. “Sure thing, captain.”

After she got her confirmation, Jennie spread her legs and got into a steady position. She raised her arm and got ready to make the throw.

“Three.”

A single, strong hit. Not hard enough to get her in trouble, but definitely loud enough to wake up sleeping beauty upstairs and scare the shit out of him.

“Two.”

The smirk never left her lips. Jennie never imagined that her night would end like this, and yet, she couldn’t complain. She had done enough of that after the asshole dumped her.

Jennie Kim was not someone you could ever dump.

“One.”

The egg smashed right in the middle of the door, creating quite some noise from the collision. Any other time Jennie would have cheered at the precision of her throw, but at that moment the only thing she could think of was run .

Lisa had already taken off, and just when Jennie was about to follow, she glanced down and cursed under her breath.

Fucking heels .

She bent down to slip off the obnoxious shoes as fast as she could, but from her peripheral view she had already seen the light of the main bedroom turn on.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

She had to hold her heel in the same hand that were holding her keys as she took off the second shoe, silently praying that Taeyang wouldn’t come out to see her in such a pathetic state. That would ruin everything that she had done up until that moment.

Right when both shoes were off, Jennie stood up straight again only to be face-to-face with a flushed Lisa. She had seemingly run back to her in a rush.

“What the heck are you doing?”

Before she got a chance to reply, Lisa held her free hand and pulled her along as both girls started running. Despite being barefoot, Jennie couldn’t feel any pain as she sprinted with her heels in one hand and Lisa’s hold on the other.

Jennie was never the athletic type, hence her lungs didn’t take long before giving up on her. By then, they were already out of Jennie’s neighbourhood, and Jennie had to slow down her steps with heavy breathing, pulling Lisa to a stop with her. She closed her eyes as she bent over to catch her breath, dropping her shoes and keys in favour of holding herself up by pressing her hand on her knee.

Lisa was also breathing heavily, taking a few steps until her back was flat against a nearby wall.

“That was… absolutely… insane,” she let out between breaths, unconsciously tightening the hold on Jennie’s hand.

For reasons she couldn’t explain, Jennie felt an immense urge to laugh. The breakup, the burger, the car getting keyed… it was all absurd. And so, with whatever amount of oxygen she had left in her lungs, Jennie threw her head back and started laughing freely. Her body felt so light and weak that she almost fell to the ground, but Lisa held her side and forced her to stand up.

“Scratch that,” Lisa breathed out once Jennie calmed her giggles down. “You’re insane, Jennie Kim.”

Jennie’s head was probably up in the clouds. She had gone through heaven and hell in the past hours, leaving her mind into an absolute mess of thoughts. She was still laughing quietly as Lisa eyed her with an unexplainable warm gaze. A gaze that had gone completely unnoticed by Jennie. Because, if her head and mind were in the right place, she would have noticed it.

Just like she would have noticed that she had never given Lisa her last name.

Chapter Text

Two weeks had passed since Jennie got… dumped.

Needless to say, Taeyang had, in a very ungraceful manner, yelled at her on the phone the day after Jennie went and… decorated his beautiful vehicle. More precisely, he had to wait until Jennie unblocked his number from her contacts to even be able to get a hold of her. Even then, Jennie had not been in the mood to hear his voice, but she had to hear him whine at some point.

Over the first few days as a newly single lady, Jennie had also received calls from different people in their circle of friends. Friends that, in theory, were both hers and Taeyang’s. 

Some questioned why she wasn’t trying to get back with him, assuming she was the one that pulled the plug on their relationship. Others heard about her reaction and called her childish. It didn’t take long to figure out that most of them had taken a side, and Jennie must admit it wasn’t exactly the right one.

Did it hurt being accused of being immature and unreasonable? Like a bitch. But Jennie didn’t spend more than a couple of days feeling betrayed. She took it as some sort of spring cleaning. After all, her true friends had her back all the way. Although, some explanations were overdue, which Jennie gave more than gladly with a glass of red wine in her hands.

If being single wasn't enough of a drastic change in her life, Jennie was also left without a home after the breakup.

A hotel was not exactly the best form of long-term residence, and her bank balance probably felt relieved when Jennie found a place to stay thanks to her kind best friend that she loved with her whole heart and soul.

“Rosie, I fucking love you. I could literally kiss you right now.”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“You know what I meant,” Jennie waved her off. She climbed on the old but relatively sturdy one-person bed and reached for the top corners of the mattress, trying to slip the bedsheet underneath them at the same time.

From the doorway, Chaeyoung watched her friend with a supressed smile. Jennie’s feet were pressing down on the opposite corners of the bedsheet, ones that were perfectly in place a second prior and yet with one single movement from Jennie, they resurfaced from beneath the mattress. Before Jennie could turn around and groan in frustration, Chaeyoung quickly bent forward and placed them right back.

“Sorry about the small room. I wish I had a proper guest bedroom to offer you.”

“Are you kidding? This is more than enough,” Jennie grunted as she pulled back her hands from underneath the mattress. Once she was satisfied with her work, she turned around and sat down on the bed with her legs crossed. “May I remind you that I would be sleeping in the streets if it wasn’t for you?”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Even if that piece of shit claimed it as his own, that’s also your house until the lease is up.”

“Yeah, but I would rather sleep under a bridge than spend the night under his same roof.”

“Fair enough. Do you need extra pillows?”

“No, I’m all good.”

Chaeyoung nodded and joined the other girl on the bed, letting her back rest against the wall. Jennie stretched her arm to grab an abandoned coffee cup that she had left on the bedside table for probably too long. Bringing it closer to her mouth to take a sip, she scrunched up her nose when she tasted lukewarm coffee. Chaeyoung smiled faintly when she saw Jennie’s look of disgust, and yet she wordlessly accepted the drink when Jennie passed it to her.

“When you steal drinks from my café, I expect you to at least pretend you like them.”

“Hey, I always offer to pay,” Jennie protested, “and your coffee tastes amazing when it’s hot and, well, not left untouched for an hour.”

Chaeyoung only smirked playfully as she finished off the left-over drink, temporarily leaving the cup on the floor since she had nowhere else to place it. Her guestroom was easily half the size of her bathroom, and Chaeyoung once again felt the need to offer Jennie her own bedroom to stay. She didn’t bother voicing her thoughts out loud given that her friend had already turned down the idea twice.

“Are you stopping by the café tomorrow after work?”

Jennie stared straight at the wall in front of them in thought. “Actually… I need to go somewhere first. I’ll text you when I’m on my way there.”

“Is it that gross fast-food place again?”

Jennie couldn’t stop a snort. “Yeah, it is. And I wouldn’t call it gross… just not as classy as your place.”

“Didn’t you already go there a few days ago?”

Jennie hummed. “She wasn’t there. I spoke to this grumpy pink-haired girl instead, she wasn’t very helpful.”

When Jennie had passed by Lisa’s workplace for the first time after the night , there was only one person behind the counter, and sadly, it wasn’t who Jennie was looking for. When she dared to ask about Lisa’s work hours, the girl had firmly told her that she wasn’t allowed to discuss any employee’s private information. Jennie didn’t really understand how asking about the next time Lisa would be working was considered too personal, but she had left the place shortly after without further questions. Frankly, Jennie was really glad that her breakup meltdown was during Lisa’s shift. She would have definitely clashed with Miss Pink Hair and No Smiles had it been otherwise.

“Was the girl cute at least?”

“You have a girlfriend, Rosie.”

Chaeyoung gently slapped Jennie’s knee. “I meant for you, dumbass.”

“She looked quite young and bitchy, so definitely not for me.”

“Alright, what about this Lisa girl?”

“What about her?”

“Why are you looking for her?” Chaeyoung questioned. “Is she, you know, your type? Attractive?”

“I’m not interested in her in the way you’re implying. I just want to say thanks, I guess. I don’t really know. It feels weird to just make her go through all that with me and disappear after.”

“You’re acting like you had a one-night stand with her.”

Jennie laughed and shook her head. Regardless of people always assuming Jennie had an active sex life, she actually didn’t get intimate with strangers. It happened a few times, but Jennie didn’t find it fun. And although Lisa was, in theory, a girl she spent the night with right after her breakup, Jennie had crazier ideas than angry sex with the first girl she met.

“Oh no, that would definitely be a disappear after situation,” she assured. “Also, you know exactly what happened that night.”

“You should have called me. I would have paid good money to key Taeyang’s car. I never told you this, but I never really liked him.”

“You always said he was a good guy!”

“A good-looking guy! Hot but completely empty in the head. It’s about time you find someone else that meets all the standards.”

“Yeah, well, I just got out of a relationship and I kinda feel like shit. I will avoid dating for a long while.”

Chaeyoung put her arm around Jennie’s shoulders and gave her a warm side hug. “You’re going to be fine, Jennie. You don’t need anyone to prove your worth.”

And while her friend had a point, Taeyang’s words left a bad taste in Jennie’s mouth. One she still had not managed to alleviate.

----

The following day, Jennie headed to Kim’s Fried Chicken and Burgers (a rather long name, she noted) just like she had informed Chaeyoung.

Unknown to her friend, she had actually been stopping by the place every day that week. The first visit was the only time she had entered to ask about Lisa. After getting that cold response, Jennie merely paused on the street across from the shop and looked through the glass windows. Lisa was never there, and so Jennie continued walking as if she had never stopped in the first place.

This time, the pink-haired girl was still there. However, even from a distance, Jennie could still spot a taller figure leaning on the far-left of the front counter and fiddling with a very old-looking stereo system. Just like the first time Jennie met her, Lisa was wearing her uniform’s cap and apron, both rather untidy. But unlike that late night, there were actually a few customers sitting on the indoor tables, and Jennie felt slightly guilty for initially thinking the shop was a bit of a failure.

Although Jennie had wished for less of an audience, it didn’t take her long to cross the road and push the door open. After all, she couldn’t tell if that would be her last chance to speak to Lisa again.

When she entered, the pink-haired bitch worker was the only one that bothered to glance at her. Jennie was not surprised to be greeted by a bored look, although she could tell that the girl remembered her.

Lisa had not looked up from the stereo. She was still trying to get the thing working by pressing buttons at random and holding her ear close to the speaker. Jennie returned her gaze to the younger employee and mirrored her cold stare.

“Are you a stalker or something?”

“Is that how you greet your customers, kid?”

Hearing the familiar voice, Lisa’s head finally turned towards Jennie, facing her with an obvious look of surprise.

Jennie would have greeted Lisa in response, but she was rudely interrupted by a sarcastic scoff.

“Weird old ladies that stand outside my workplace are not considered customers.”

“Old ladies?” Jennie repeated, offended. “Excuse me?”

The girl had a worse attitude than Jennie already imagined, and she was ready to start a fight then and there if Miss Bitchy Customer Service couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

From her peripheral view, Jennie could see Lisa looking awkwardly back and forth between the two girls, but she had no intention of getting insulted without any sort of rebuttal.

“At least I don’t look like a fourteen-year-old going through a rebel phase to piss off her parents.”

The girl took a step closer ready to continue the argument, but Lisa was quick to step forward and squeeze past her colleague to exit the front area and walk around it until she was next to Jennie.

“Ryujin, I’ll take my break now. Is that cool?”

Giving Jennie one last dirty look, Ryujin nodded and stepped away. Jennie’s expression didn’t change as Lisa gently pushed her towards a nearby table and sat her down, taking a seat opposite her in the process. She took her cap off as Jennie crossed her arms and stole glances behind her to ensure the other girl was not looking at them.

“Listen, you can’t argue with everyone that works here the first time you meet them. Not everyone is like me.”

Jennie eyed Lisa with a questioning yet annoyed look. “And what are you like?”

“I’m like, an angel.”

A small smile started to appear on Jennie’s lips, and she mentally scolded herself for letting herself get carried away by an ill-mannered girl in a matter of seconds.

“Right. An angel that participates in illicit post-breakup activities.”

“That’s correct.” Lisa grinned playfully. “You see, my manager is not as cooperative. If she had been on shift that night, you would have probably had the worst counselling ever.”

Jennie raised an eyebrow at the new information.

“That kid is your manager?”

“She’s not a kid, technically. Just a few years younger than me. Dropped out after a month of university and started working here about two years ago. She’s, uh, good at bossing people around nicely, I guess.”

“Wasn’t your manager on a date last time I was here?”

Lisa chuckled. “She’s not as bad as she acts. When she’s with her girlfriend, she melts completely.”

“People around here skip work to go on dates as they please?”

“Not quite, Ryujin’s situation is a bit different. Her girlfriend is studying abroad so they don’t see each other often. That’s why I cover for her the few times she’s visiting.”

“Am I supposed to feel sympathy?” Jennie asked disinterested. “Because I have not had a single civil interaction with your Romeo manager.”

Maybe it was dealing with Jennie’s petty grudges again or maybe it was witnessing her manager’s fake tough persona, but Lisa simply laughed and dismissed Jennie’s unnecessary rage.

“I don’t care about what you think about her, to be fair. I doubt she’s the reason why you’re here to begin with, Jennie. What brings you back?”

“I, uh,” Jennie stumbled on her words. She didn’t have an answer. “I just thought I should come by to see you again.”

“How come?”

Jennie shrugged silently. Whatever happened that night was over the moment they parted ways, but for some reason she felt as if she ought to come back. It was not every day that Jennie met strangers willing to go along with petty revenge plans just for the sake of it.

“Did you get fined?”

Jennie sighed just by hearing the alarmed tone.

“No. It all went well.”

“You didn’t get caught?”

“Depends on what you define as getting caught.”

“Hey, you know what? I don’t care. Not my business anymore.” Lisa leaned back on her chair and folded her arms. “In fact, I don’t even need to act like I know you.”

“Is that what you want?” Jennie questioned calmly. “Would you like me to walk out the door right now and never come back?”

Lisa stared at her blankly.

“Are you really not going to tell me why you’re here again?”

Jennie huffed in annoyance but answered the question earnestly. “I just wanted to thank you. I know it was a one-time thing, but I feel like I owe you.”

“You paid me,” Lisa pointed out. “You don’t really owe me anything.”

“Yeah, but—” Jennie pinched the bridge of her nose lightly. She took a deep breath and started again. “It wasn’t my money. Taeyang had given me some cash to find a place to stay that night, and I just wanted to get rid of it all as soon as I could.”

“Right.” Lisa paused and lightly tapped her chin. “But… I don’t really ask customers where they get their money from, so I don’t think that’s an issue.”

“Listen, I still want to return the favour somehow, so if—”

“It wasn’t a favour,” Lisa interrupted calmly. “It was a paid service. It’s really not a big deal to me.”

Perhaps Jennie should have never returned. Being turned down hurt her pride, even more so when she had been so determined to do the right thing for once. It wasn’t just about Taeyang’s money. If Lisa had not been there with her, Jennie was certain that she would have gone to bed with a huge weight on her chest. Instead, that night she was able to sleep feeling pleased and without regrets.

“Okay,” she let out with a sigh. It was frustrating to admit defeat, but Jennie had nothing else to offer. “That’s it, then.”

“I guess it is,” Lisa responded rather softly.

Jennie gave her a resigned smile as she stood up and picked up her bag. She said a brief goodbye and headed towards the exit, but just before she could make it to the door, she heard Lisa’s voice calling her back.

“Wait!”

Jennie turned and watched as the girl reached for something behind the front counter. When Lisa faced her again, Jennie moved her gaze to the black umbrella that Lisa held out to her.

“It’s raining. You might need it.”

Jennie really didn’t understand where the kindness was coming from. She stared down at the object with pursed lips, and then glanced back up again.

“That would be a favour,” she stated with a smug grin. She didn’t wait for Lisa’s words of protest, simply turning and walking out of the door.

It was clear from the huge puddles of water on the sides of the road that it had been raining heavily, but by the time Jennie stepped outside, the rain was barely noticeable.

And still, Lisa rushed out right after her with the umbrella still in hand. “Just take it!”

Serves her right , Jennie thought as she continued to walk away. The light rain was nothing compared to the slightest feeling of success caused by turning down Lisa’s offer after she had turned down hers.

“Nope,” Jennie repeated.

She was so content with herself that she had completely missed the expensive sports car driving at the speed of light on the road next to her, passing through an enormous puddle and creating a loud splash…

…drenching Jennie from head to toe in the process.

If God had favourites, then Jennie sure as hell wasn’t one of them.

“Motherfucker!”

It took less than a second for Jennie to explode, yelling out all kinds of profanities to whoever was the asshole that drove past her. Her coat, her shoes – even her brand new jeans for fuck’s sake – were all soaked with dirty water, and Jennie was somewhere between screaming and crying. She was blinded by so much rage she had temporarily forgotten about her one-woman audience that most likely witnessed the whole thing.

Lisa didn’t laugh at her. Well, she didn’t really react at all. When Jennie silently turned around to face the girl, Lisa simply stood, once again, with a blank expression. The arm that was previously stretched out with the umbrella was now dropped down her side.

Jennie let out a tired sigh.

“Do you happen to have a towel by any chance?”

----

If it was any other person leading her to their shady apartment above a fast-food shop, Jennie would have been running by now. But since Lisa had kindly offered her a shower and dry clothing after seeing Jennie looking like a whole mess, there wasn’t really any reason to say no.

After all, it was just Lisa. The same girl that helped her egg and key Taeyang’s car, earning a fraction of Jennie’s trust.

It was a very old building, Jennie had realised that much the first time she saw it. What she assumed used to be painted walls were now dirty and covered in vines. Jennie had to flinch and wave her hands around at the moths flying around the only wall light on that side of the building, trying her best not to trip and fall over. She had enough misfortunes for one day, a broken leg was not in her plans.

However, as she followed Lisa up the somewhat hidden staircase behind the fast-food shop, Jennie had to hide a gasp of surprise when she saw the small terrace on top. It wasn’t anything big or fancy or luxurious, but considering the poor maintenance of literally everything else she saw, a clean roof terrace with a small seating area and even a pretty flower bed looked like an oasis in a desert.

“This is quite nice.”

Lisa made a barely audible hum of acknowledgement. She continued to walk until she reached the only door that could be seen, and Jennie followed her steps without making further comments.

The apartment was, well, small. The corridor (if it could even be considered a corridor) between the front door and the living room was very narrow, and Jennie didn’t manage to make two steps before she tripped on something. Luckily for her, Lisa’s back was right in front of her nose, preventing yet another embarrassing moment.

“Sorry, you might want to walk on the left side.”

Jennie looked down to see a few pairs of shoes all lined up in a neat row against the right side of the corridor. They were mostly trainers alongside a single pair of slippers, which Lisa put on after she took off her current shoes and pushed them around with her feet until they were neatly sitting next to the others. Jennie bent down to slip off her boots, but Lisa stopped her.

“You can keep your shoes on if you want.”

Ignoring her suggestion, Jennie undid the zip at the sides of her boots and took them off, also leaving them in the shoe line-up against the wall. She also removed her semi-dry socks and left them just beside her boots. “They’re wet and filthy, I couldn’t possibly walk around your place with them on.”

“Oh.” Lisa paused, and then started to take off her slippers for her guest to take.

Jennie honestly didn’t understand much about Lisa. She had been nothing but kind and considerate since she met her, but at the same time she was a blend of very awkward and very confident during their interactions. Jennie couldn’t figure her out.

“It’s okay, I need to shower anyway.” Jennie nudged the offered slippers back to Lisa with her toes.

Lisa hesitated, but ended up with the slippers back on her feet.

When she got a glance at the living room area as they made their way inside, Jennie once again thought that it was… small. There was a single black sofa that could fit two people (or three if they were cuddling, Jennie thought), and in front of it there was a low coffee table with an empty pizza box and a few cans of coke lying on top. Lisa didn’t seem to have a television, which Jennie guessed was either because she didn’t watch it or because there was hardly any space to fit one.

Lisa squeezed past the coffee table and Jennie finally noticed there were three doors on the other end of the room. Two of them were closed and the third… well, it wasn’t really a door. The doorway that didn’t have a door on the right of the living room led to the kitchen, from what Jennie could see.

Lisa pushed open the door across from Jennie and turned a switch on, illuminating what looked to be the bathroom. It would have been completely normal, if it wasn’t for one thing.

“Why is the light switch outside the bathroom?”

Jennie wouldn’t have mentioned it if she didn’t feel so dumbfounded. Who had a bathroom with a light switch that was outside the bathroom itself?

Lisa briefly looked at her own hand resting on top of the switch, and then turned to face the other girl with the slightest hint of red on her cheeks.

“There’s also a switch inside. It just doesn’t work.”

“I see,” Jennie nodded. “Aren’t you worried about someone switching the light off while you’re inside?”

“I live alone.”

Right. No reason to worry about anyone. Jennie had gotten used to living with Taeyang for most of their relationship. Everything she planned, she had to plan for two. Everything she cooked, she had to cook for two. Everything she cleaned, she had to clean for two.

Back then she thought there was a balance in their co-habiting, but thinking about it now, it probably wasn’t always that harmonious. The worst of all was that she had liked living with someone else. Waking up with somebody holding her and coming home to someone she could tell how her day went. But whenever she started to remember the good parts, the bad parts soon followed, and Jennie was left feeling pain all over again.

So, she decided not to think about it at all.

When she returned her focus to Lisa, she saw the girl opening the only door left. Jennie quietly waited outside of it, not wanting to intrude the privacy of Lisa’s bedroom. She could hear wardrobe doors opening and closing, and drawers being pulled and slammed shut. A few minutes after, Lisa re-emerged from her room holding several pieces of clothing in her arms.

“Here, you can wear these after you shower.” She handed the clothes over and returned to the bathroom, which was technically only two steps away.

Jennie held the neatly folded clothes with the tips of her fingers, making sure not to make contact with her wet, dirty coat. She then moved to the bathroom doorway and waited for Lisa to fix… whatever she was fixing. Jennie curiously glanced inside and noticed the other girl turning the taps of the shower while testing the water temperature with her fingers at every turn.

“It’s a bit tricky because sometimes the hot tap becomes the cold one and vice versa,” Lisa explained. Jennie just nodded and continued to wait. When the temperature was good enough, Lisa let out a satisfied hum and stepped back. “I think this should be fine. I advise you not to touch the taps while in the shower, but if you need hotter water, just follow your gut with choosing the tap to turn.”

Jennie had a hard time holding back a snort of disbelief, but she still laughed quietly under her breath. Everything about Lisa’s apartment seemed absurd, and yet Jennie didn’t have it in her to make comments about it when she was the one that got splashed with rainwater in the middle of the street.

“Thank you.”

“No worries,” Lisa shrugged. “There are two towels in the cabinet above the sink, and you can leave the wet clothes in that laundry basket.”

“Okay, got it.”

“I still have one hour left of my shift, so I’m gonna head back down. Feel free to stick around until your hair dries, I don’t mind. It’s not good to be out in the cold with wet hair. You might get sick.”

Always.

So.

Considerate.

“Are you ever going to let me repay you?”

It was annoying. Jennie felt indebted. Lisa had been helping her over and over without much thought, and Jennie really didn’t like not being able to return such kindness.

“I’ll think about it.”

----

Showering took around 40 minutes, more or less. Jennie had decided to wash her hair too, and she was pleasantly surprised by the fragrance of Lisa’s shampoo. It was a mix of honey and vanilla, a combination that seemed to work beautifully. Everything about Lisa’s life seemed to work in one way or another, as opposed to how Jennie's one was going at the moment.

Once she was done cleaning herself up thoroughly, Jennie exited the shower and wrapped the towel she had taken out of the cabinet around her frame. She then looked through the clothing Lisa had given her, sighing in relief when she saw clean undergarments shoved in between. Lisa really knew how to handle everything and anything, it seemed.

Jennie carefully put on the clothes, noticing that they were a bigger size than what she would normally wear. The black sweatpants were crumpled at her ankles, but the elastic around the ends prevented them from going over Jennie’s feet. The hoodie was also quite large, but Jennie liked wearing oversized comfy clothing, so it wasn’t really an issue.

Walking (well, stepping) back into the living room, Jennie dried her hair with the towel as she plopped herself down on the sofa. The coffee table that was previously messy was now perfectly clean, and Jennie assumed Lisa took care of it before she left. Having nothing to do while her hair dried, she reached for her bag and took out her phone, frowning slightly at the missed calls from Chaeyoung.

Shit. Jennie was supposed to meet her at the café before she got drenched and changed plans. She knew it had only been around an hour since she was supposed to see Chaeyoung, but that was enough to make her friend worry. Still with the towel on her head, Jennie dialled Chaeyoung’s number and held the phone to her ear.

“Thank you for letting me know you’re still alive, bitch.”

“It’s been like an hour, my love,” Jennie teased with a smile. From Chaeyoung’s tone, she could tell that she wasn’t mad, but still relieved to hear from her. “And don’t swear in front of the customers.”

“There’s literally no one here, you were supposed to be my company.”

“I’m sorry Rosie, I had the worst two hours ever.”

“What happened?”

And so, Jennie went on to explain the series of events that took place that night, whining and complaining dramatically like a good narrator. Even though she received plenty of ‘my poor baby’ and ‘that’s so sad’ from her friend, Jennie knew that Chaeyoung was having a blast hearing about what happened. After all, Jennie was usually considered lucky in life, so having so much shit on her plate in such a short time was partially amusing.

“Where are you right now?”

Right, that was something she had omitted. Chaeyoung already teased her enough about having adventures with a random stranger, and therefore Jennie had tried to save herself from more jokes about her being wild and free. But if there was something she could never do was to lie to her best friend.

“I’m in Lisa’s apartment. She let me use her shower and change clothes. I’m just waiting a bit for my hair to dry.”

She really tried her best to ignore the low whistle from the other end of the line.

“Jennie Kim making moves, I see.”

“I made no moves whatsoever, don’t even start.”

“What now? Are you planning to stay overnight?”

“Oh, shut up!” Jennie laughed alongside her friend.

They continued the conversation for a few more minutes, thankfully moving away from the Lisa topic. Jennie listened to Chaeyoung complain about her girlfriend’s lack of communication and how it was driving her absolutely insane. Considering how Jennie’s last relationship ended, it didn’t really feel appropriate to give love advice. She felt as if Chaeyoung was not fully happy with her girlfriend, but she also remembered all the times she spoke about how in love she was, and so Jennie just decided to mind her own business until Chaeyoung actually asked for advice.

At some point, other voices could be heard from Chaeyoung’s end, meaning that there were customers to serve. After saying her goodbyes, Jennie hung up and dropped her phone beside her, letting herself lean back completely on the sofa with a content sigh.

Lisa was supposed to be back any minute now, and Jennie decided the least she could do was to thank her in person before leaving. She also wasn’t sure about what to do with her damp clothes, and so waiting for Lisa seemed like a reasonable choice.

It took about two seconds for Jennie to get bored.

She stared at the ceiling with a small pout on her lips, and then started tapping her fingers on the sofa’s armrest. What could she do inside a stranger’s house? Snooping around was definitely not an option, so Jennie was confined within the living room. She took a quick glance around, but due to the small size of the room there wasn’t really anything that she had not seen when she first came in. The walls were plain with the exception of a small area with a few picture frames hanging. From her position, Jennie could barely make out the people in each picture, which she assumed were Lisa’s family and friends.

Suddenly, the front door was unlocked, and Lisa walked in. There was a slight look of surprise when she noticed Jennie sitting with her legs neatly crossed, most likely expecting her to have left by then.

“Hey,” Jennie waved as a greeting. “I was just about to leave, but I was wondering if there was anything I could use to carry my clothes?”

“Hi. Yes. Uh,” Lisa took off her shoes and jacket, leaving the latter on the other end of the sofa beside Jennie. She then moved into the bedroom, and Jennie got up to follow her.

Once again, Jennie didn’t want to overstep, and so she remained just outside the room. When Lisa returned, she handed her a decently sized plastic bag, one that was usually given when shopping in clothing stores.

“Perfect, thank you. I’ll just grab my stuff really quickly.”

Lisa simply nodded in approval and returned to pick up her jacket in the living room. While Jennie entered the bathroom again (remembering to switch on the light from the outside), Lisa carried her jacket to her room and pushed the door until it was almost closed. She hung the jacket on one of the four hooks behind the door, and then opened the door again. As she passed by the bathroom, she stopped at the doorway and leaned on the frame briefly.

“Do you want coffee or tea? I also have orange juice. And milk.”

Jennie was crouched on the floor in front of the laundry basket, placing her clothes one by one into the plastic bag she had been given. When she heard Lisa’s question, she looked up and shook her head while smiling. “I’m alright, thank you. I’ll leave as soon as I’m done.”

“It’s only going to take a few minutes.”

Again, Jennie shook her head and dismissed the offer. “It’s fine, really. I won’t bother you any longer,” she then added with a small grin. She had definitely accepted too much from the girl, it wouldn’t feel right to overstay her welcome.

Lisa just stood in place, silently thinking for a few more seconds. Then, she crossed her arms and smiled relaxed. “You said you owe me a favour, correct?”

Jennie paused. “Uh, yeah?”

“Cool. Staying for a drink will get that solved. What can I get you?”

----

Chapter Text

“I’ve been hearing things around the neighbourhood.”

Jennie turned her back to her father as she opened the kitchen fridge, successfully hiding her far-from-subtle eyeroll.

“And?”

“And?” her father repeated with annoyance. “Things are being said about you. My daughter.”

“I have no control over what people say. Rumours are rumours.”

“Oh, well. They’re all lies either way.”

Her father re-opened his newspaper, and Jennie was thankful that she could escape his judging stares. She closed the fridge and placed the bottle of juice she took out on the kitchen counter.

“Because it’s not true, right Jennie?”

The neat bow of her uniform started to feel a lot tighter on her neck. She didn’t have to face her father to know he was watching her, newspaper lowered and his eyes pointed at her behind his reading glasses.

Jennie didn’t hesitate. Not even a second. “Of course not.”

“Is this your boyfriend?”

Given that Jennie had been welcomed (asked) to stay a little longer, she had taken the freedom to take a closer look at the framed pictures she had spotted previously. Her bagged clothes were at the foot of the coffee table, long forgotten after Jennie had found herself in comfier and warmer clothing. The faint sounds of water boiling in a kettle from the kitchen avoided complete silence in the house, but Jennie was never the type to keep quiet when there was someone to talk to.

“Nope,” Lisa replied briefly. Jennie couldn’t see her, but she could still hear the movement of mugs and spoons, meaning that their drinks were getting ready.

The pictures Lisa had on display were very few, but the most recent looking one was of her next to a rather handsome man who was smiling brightly. His hand was loosely wrapped around Lisa’s shoulders, and Lisa’s arm also disappeared behind them, probably circling the guy’s waist. It must have been taken in Korea, Jennie thought, as she noticed the familiar writing on the street signs behind the pair.

“You don’t even know which picture I’m referring to.”

“The answer would still be no.”

“That could mean a lot of things.”

Lisa laughed amused. “Have fun figuring that out.”

Truthfully, Jennie had a hard time figuring out anything about Lisa. The immediate nope sounded rather confident, and if Jennie read into it a little deeper, she could think of a few reasons to justify it. The pictures on the wall were the only insight into Lisa’s private life she had so far, and Jennie’s curiosity got the best of her. 

“Do you want me to list out what I’ve come up with?”

“Go on.”

“Right,” Jennie started with crossed arms, still standing in front of the framed pictures with the sound of hot water pouring into glass cups in the background. “Option one, you know that none of the men in the pictures are your boyfriend.”

“Very good guess,” Lisa commented from the kitchen, “what’s next?”

“Option two, you don’t currently have a boyfriend. Or possibly, never had one.”

So many options, and none of them were Jennie’s business. She was definitely trying too hard to piece together the life of someone she only met twice, even more so when she had very little to go on.

“Interesting.” Jennie could almost hear the smile from Lisa’s tone. “Anything else?”

Jennie was not really sure about whether or not to voice her last thought out loud. Once again, it was truly none of her business. But Lisa sounded quite entertained by her thought process, and so Jennie went on to her last possible conclusion.

“Well, my last guess is that you don’t date men at all.”

And at that, Jennie clearly caught Lisa’s stifled laugh as soon as she finished speaking. She was relieved that her answer didn’t offend her or piss her off. Based on her personal experience, some people would not hesitate in lashing out at her with all kinds of insults. Her parents included.

Holding two cups of hot tea, Lisa finally joined Jennie back in the living room. She held one of the drinks out to the girl, who in turn accepted it with a smile and a thank you. Jennie didn’t leave her spot as she stood with her hand holding the saucer of the warm cup, but Lisa moved behind her to half-sit, half-lean on the sofa’s armrest.

“Did I get anything right?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s more than nothing at all, I’m happy with that.”

“Do you work as a detective?”

Jennie snorted. “I’d be a shit one if I did.”

“Journalist? Author?”

“Any reason for these guesses?”

Lisa shrugged. “You just seem really determined to read me inside out.”

“That’s because I don’t know you,” Jennie pointed out. “And we didn’t meet under normal circumstances.”

Lisa brought her tea up to her lips, taking the smallest of sips. “You know where I work and who my manager is. You know where I live. And you also used my shower,” she started listing. “That’s more than what most people find out about me.”

“Fair point.”

When silence surrounded them, Jennie looked back at the pictures. She still had not received a clear answer to her question.

“Is he your brother, then?”

Lisa shook her head, a small smirk appearing on her lips. “No, just a friend.”

“A close one?”

“He wouldn’t be on my wall if he wasn’t.”

Another fair point, Jennie thought silently. She moved her gaze to the remaining pictures, ones that looked a lot older. Colours were faded and a few fold marks ran across the photos, but Jennie had to suppress a smile when she spotted a seemingly mini-Lisa standing between a beautiful woman and a very tall man.

“Is that you? With your parents?”

“Correct.”

“Your mum is really pretty.”

“You should see her daughter.”

“She’s not bad either,” Jennie giggled. She took a closer look at the photo, but she couldn’t make out what the background of the picture was. “Is this in Korea?”

“No, that was taken in Thailand.”

“Is that where you’re from?”

Lisa nodded.

“Very cool. When did you move here?”

“I was probably around thirteen at the time.”

“You went to a high school in Seoul?” Lisa nodded once again. “Which one?”

“Shouldn’t it be my turn to ask questions?”

Jennie hummed. “You’re right. What would you like to know?”

Frankly, Jennie was far from an open book. She had to take the time to get to know people before revealing too much about herself. Some parts of her life were just not meant to be shared over small talk. And although she only met Lisa a couple of times, she still had done more with her than with any of the acquaintances she had known for years. Jennie felt like Lisa was an easy person to trust, and that thought scared her quite a bit.

“How are you feeling?”

Jennie paused. “Pardon?”

“The last time we met, you cried while eating a burger. And then you took revenge on your ex accompanied by a complete stranger,” Lisa explained. “So, how are you feeling two weeks after that?”

Right. That was what nice people did. No personal questions, just a genuine check-up on her situation. Jennie should have known. 

She wrapped a finger around the handle of her tea cup and picked it up, trying to delay her response. Surprisingly, her hand remained steady enough to take a sip without any spilling.

“I am… somewhat fine.”

What a lie.

Jennie didn’t mention the few days she spent crying alone in her hotel room. She didn’t share how she went through her whole gallery looking at old pictures and wondering when it all went wrong. She didn’t bring up the time where she almost went back to their house after work, not because she wanted to, but merely because that had been her routine for years.

She didn’t have to say any of that for Lisa to somehow know that she was far from fine.

“That’s okay. Moving on takes time.”

“It’s not just that. I think he—” Jennie stopped. The words were not coming out.

Lisa waited. She wasn’t encouraging Jennie to finish her sentence. She probably wasn’t expecting anything at all, and that somehow made Jennie want to blurt out everything. It couldn’t be that bad, Jennie thought. After all, Lisa seemed to always be in the right place at the right time.

“I think he might be seeing someone.”

It was awful.

Jennie had not let that thought out of her head up until that point. Not even to Chaeyoung. It was terrifying how much it hurt. How could it not? Jennie had been his long-term girlfriend. They had celebrated their anniversary two months prior. Three years. How could he move on so quickly while Jennie’s heart sank whenever the thought of him crossed her mind?

“Does that upset you?” Lisa questioned.

“Shouldn’t it?”

Lisa shrugged. She gently placed her almost empty cup on the coffee table, leaving the sofa armrest in favour of sliding down until she could sit comfortably on the cushioned seat with her legs crossed. She leaned her head on her opened palm, supported by her elbow casually resting on the armrest she previously occupied, her eyes staring at the standing girl rather intently.

“I don’t know enough about you or your relationship to answer that.”

Oh.

Jennie seemed to have forgotten that Lisa was not a close friend. She knew nothing about Jennie’s life outside of the first night they met. And although Lisa witnessed how pissed she was when Taeyang broke up with her, she still had no clue about why that was. Back then, Jennie was relieved by the fact that she wasn’t obliged to share that information, but weeks had passed. She had the time to think and overthink things through.

“Should we fix that?”

“We don’t have to.”

They really didn’t. Jennie could leave and never see Lisa again, but that was exactly what she had in mind last time and things took quite the opposite turn. And technically, Jennie had to see her for a third time either way to return the clothes she was currently wearing, so it was pointless to pretend it was going to be the last time they were going to meet.

“My name is Jennie Kim. I’m twenty-six, twenty-seven in January.” She started with the basics. An introduction that seemed to have caught Lisa’s attention as the corners of her lips turned upwards. “I’m not a detective, nor a journalist, nor an author. I work in the fashion industry.”

“My guessing game is not as good as yours, then.”

“Not quite,” Jennie smiled. “But you had me figured out in a lot of other ways.”

“Such as?”

“You knew I needed to key Taeyang’s car to feel slightly better about being dumped.”

Lisa chuckled. “That was all you.”

“It wasn’t. Even after what he did to me, I still tried to be considerate when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve it.”

Lisa’s lips pressed together as she averted her gaze. “So, we’re back to the start. You’re… upset.”

“I guess.”

“You guess,” Lisa challenged.

It was hard to hide a tired sigh. Jennie felt too much to know exactly how she felt about the prospect of Taeyang moving on. All she knew was that it was too soon to not feel anything at all.

“I’ve been with him for a long time. I suppose it does make me feel like shit sometimes to hear about what he’s up to.”

“Hear?” Lisa repeated amused. “Is that how you found out? Rumours?”

Jennie didn’t know why her face started to heat up. She had wanted to make a decent impression with her mini-introduction, but now she just appeared to be a woman that liked to gossip in her free time.

It wasn’t like Jennie had intentionally sought that kind of information. She was not the crazy, obsessed ex-girlfriend that she probably gave the impression of being after her little stunt. However, sometimes she just happened to receive bits and pieces of incomplete stories that she eventually started to put together.

It had started with her old neighbour sending her a message. Sweet, old Mrs Choi was not exactly Jennie’s closest friend, but they sometimes had tea together or brief talks from their adjacent back gardens. Considering this, Jennie had not expected Mrs Choi’s text in the middle of a work meeting. She had only been able to glance at the preview of the notification, but that was enough to make her subtly unlock her phone from under her table as she convincingly pretended to still be listening to her boss.

The message was rather lengthy, almost resembling an email, but it took Jennie a few seconds to get the gist of it.

Mrs Choi wondered why an unknown vehicle kept parking outside Jennie’s property. She had asked if Jennie had started driving, which she definitely had not. Well, Mrs Choi did not know about the breakup, and Jennie didn’t even think she would have to inform her of it. It made sense that she’d notify Jennie of suspicious activity around her house, except that it was not really Jennie’s problem anymore.

After Mrs Choi came Jennie’s cousin, Yeri. Unlike her neighbour, Yeri had known that she and Taeyang were no longer together. Jennie had met her cousin for breakfast one morning, who happened to casually mention that she had seen Taeyang entering the flower shop in front of her workplace, and also added that he came out holding a really pretty bouquet. Yeri made it clear that she was merely passing information, and not making any accusations. Jennie received the signal loud and clear, though.

Taeyang’s social media was also a big giveaway of his intentions. Jennie had unfollowed him pretty much everywhere, but his profile was public. It wasn’t surprising that she’d scroll through it in moments of weakness. Pictures of him at the gym, working out and showing off his physique… those started to appear on his feed a lot more frequently. 

It was not the most difficult thing to put the clues together.

Lisa still stared at her with her teasing smile. Jennie wondered if she was that easy to read. Lisa made her feel like she was, even when she was trying so hard not to be.

“I didn’t ask for anything. People just… saw things and, well, told me about those things.”

“I wasn’t insinuating anything.”

“You were thinking about it.”

“Maybe.”

Jennie groaned frustrated. “This is so annoying.”

“What is?”

“This,” Jennie gestured between them. Lisa’s eyebrow rose in confusion. “When I meet new people, I can be very charming, okay? I don’t— well, normally , I don’t follow strangers into their homes, nor get drenched with rainwater in front of them. And all I wanted to do was to be nice to you because you’ve been an angel to me, but this breakup is making me look like a mad woman.”

Regardless of Jennie’s temporary breakdown, Lisa still grinned at her. Jennie called herself a mad woman, and Lisa still looked at her like she had just finished performing on the biggest stage.

“I think you’re pretty charming.”

Lisa did it so easily. One moment Jennie was filled with rage and frustration, and the next, she felt an incredible urge to smile.

She didn’t know how to describe it. Something like… being on a busy train and reaching the station where everyone else got off, ending up with the comfort of an empty carriage. Or… waking up early in the morning for a meeting to then find out it had been cancelled, falling back asleep without an alarm set. The way Lisa calmed her mind was simply crazy.

Taeyang had dumped her and made her feel like shit in every way possible, but maybe meeting someone like Lisa made it suck a little less. They would get on really well if they became actual friends, Jennie thought.

“Which one?” Jennie questioned with a playful smirk.

“What?”

“Pretty or charming, which one am I?”

Lisa was stunned, to say the least. Jennie found it very pleasing to see.

But then, Lisa’s eyes softened. Her smile was still there, a little smaller but a little more sincere. She looked at Jennie, a warmth in her gaze that Jennie had missed completely, just like the last time she received such a gaze.

“You’re both, Jennie Kim.”

----

Walking towards Chaeyoung’s apartment wearing clothes that were not her own made Jennie feel slightly uneasy. She didn’t do anything wrong, but having known her best friend for some years, she knew that as soon as she got home, she’d receive the look — one eyebrow slightly raised above the other, eyes sparkling with mischief, and a smirk that would make Jennie want to walk right out the door.

Chaeyoung sported that exact look whenever the topic of Jennie potentially showing interest in someone came up. Jennie knew, deep down, that all Chaeyoung wanted was for her to forget Taeyang ever existed. She had subtly tried to push Jennie into the dating world again, but Jennie genuinely felt as if she was not going to find anyone good enough in the foreseeable future.

With that thought in mind, Jennie mentally prepared herself for Chaeyoung’s interrogation session about her stay at Lisa’s apartment. There was nothing to hide about it, but that didn’t mean that Chaeyoung would let it go easily.

Jennie turned the key to open the front door as quietly as she could. Chaeyoung usually waited for her in front of the television whenever she worked late, but Jennie had to frown at the sight of a completely dark apartment.

She blindly navigated through the living room and made her way to the door of Chaeyoung’s bedroom, knocking softly to make her presence known.

“Rosie? It’s Jennie.”

No response.

Growing a little worried, Jennie pushed the door open and walked inside. She silently made a few steps forward until she bumped into Chaeyoung’s desk, touching around to find the small lamp that was normally there. Once she turned on the switch, she placed the plastic bag with her damp clothes on the desk as the room became more visible. Then, Jennie finally noticed her best friend sleeping on the bed.

Chaeyoung was lying face down, her head buried into her crossed arms on the pillow. She didn’t have a blanket on, and she still had shoes on her feet. It was definitely unusual.

Jennie approached her sleeping friend, taking a seat next to her on the side of the bed. Chaeyoung probably felt the mattress dip as she started to gently move unconsciously. Her head turned just slightly, enough for Jennie to take a clear peek at her face.

A deep frown formed on Jennie’s face.

She had spent enough time with Chaeyoung to know how she looked like after she cried. And Jennie was certain of it—her best friend had been crying that night.

Jennie didn’t even bother wasting time to figure out what happened. She wrapped her hand around Chaeyoung’s arm and kindly tugged. A few seconds of annoyed whines later, Chaeyoung finally blinked her eyes open. She turned on her back and rubbed them with the palms of her hands, but Jennie had the time to notice the redness that surrounded them.

“Chaeyoung,” she called softly, moving the girl’s hands away from her face.

“Jennie?”

Chaeyoung’s voice was slightly hoarse, but Jennie wasn’t entirely sure it was from the sleep. She hummed in reply, her thumb stroking Chaeyoung’s sweater-covered tummy as she waited for the girl to fully wake up.

“When did you come home?” she questioned, slowly pushing herself up until her back could lean on the headboard.

“Just now. I didn’t see you when I came in, so I wanted to check up on you.” Jennie wordlessly reached for Chaeyoung’s feet, untying her shoelaces and removing both her shoes before dropping them gently on the floor beside them. She then proceeded to take off her socks and tuck them into each shoe neatly.

Chaeyoung let out the saddest chuckle that Jennie had heard, which didn’t help her growing concern. Jennie moved her hands up until she could hold Chaeyoung’s face between them.

“What’s wrong?”

Her question was met with silence. There was no need for Chaeyoung to speak, Jennie could tell she was upset just by looking at her dull eyes.

For the longest time, Jennie had admired how Chaeyoung could always smile brightly with sparkling eyes even when she was crushed on the inside. It must have taken a lot of practice to be able to hide her feelings behind a happy façade that well. And it was pretty ironic considering how easily Chaeyoung cried—even a documentary about animal shelters had her sobbing at 2 a.m., among other sappy films.

The thing with Chaeyoung was that she was too kind. Too kind for her own good, Jennie believed. She didn’t like when people worried about her. Jennie would know since Chaeyoung actively avoided sharing her relationship problems to not put a burden on her. As soon as she let something slip, she’d soon follow with excuses about how everything will sort itself out . She was always the first to comfort her friends when they were at their lowest, but she never expected the same care in return.

Always giving, never taking.

“Is it your girlfriend again?”

Again.

Jennie made sure her words came out softly for her friend’s sake, but frankly, she was rather pissed at Chaeyoung’s girlfriend. For the past week she had heard nothing but complaints about the girl’s shitty attitude. Jennie had enough of it.

Hearing no response once again, Jennie took off her boots and made herself comfortable beside her friend. She wrapped an arm around Chaeyoung and gently moved the girl’s head until it could lie on her shoulder.

Chaeyoung’s bottom lip started quivering, and Jennie didn’t hesitate a single second before she was enveloping her friend in a hug. She held her close, gently patting Chaeyoung’s head as the girl sobbed into her chest.

.

.

.

“I broke up with her.”

----

Chapter Text

“Paris sounds like a dream, dear.”

Jennie wanted nothing more than to leave.

Her mother walked around her bedroom with folded clothes in her hands, animatedly speaking about places she had never seen.

“I’m sure it will be delightful, mum.” She paused. “And… thank you for letting me do this.”

Letting her? Jennie laughed at herself. Her parents encouraged her more than anyone.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I understand how it is. You’ll make new friends, clear your head, and start from scratch. It’s exactly what you need.”

Jennie responded with a stiff nod.

Leaving was good.

Exactly what she needed.

A little over a week went by before Jennie found herself on the familiar path toward her most memorable fast-food place. After Lisa had kindly let her keep her clothing on the way back home, Jennie had promised to return them washed as soon as she could.

The initial plan was to meet her the day after she borrowed them. Jennie didn’t want to risk forgetting about it and never return the clothes, which was unlikely but still a possibility in her eyes. She even made sure to ask Lisa about her schedule before she left that evening. She did not want to seem intrusive, but based on previous events, Jennie would rather not walk into the fast-food place while Lisa’s manager was on her shift. (It wouldn’t end well, Jennie made sure to emphasise that.)

What stopped her from going back the day after was nothing more than another broken heart.

When Taeyang broke up with her, Jennie felt a balance between pissed and broken-hearted. Somehow, she even thought that maybe the part of her that broke the most was her pride, not her heart. It still didn’t help the fact that Taeyang made her feel like complete shit for several days, but Jennie was slowly starting to learn how to keep him out of her head.

Unlike Jennie, Chaeyoung was the one responsible for putting an end to her relationship. Responsible was a big word, Jennie thought. Chaeyoung merely sped up the process before she ended up getting hurt. That was what Jennie believed, or better, what she was trying to reassure Chaeyoung of.

It was different from Jennie’s breakup experience. For instance, Chaeyoung cried almost every night after she ended things with her girlfriend. Jennie highly doubted that Taeyang went through that phase after he dumped her. He probably didn’t feel any guilt or have regrets about how he handled the breakup, although Jennie would argue he had been a complete ass about it.

Chaeyoung though… she felt anything and everything.

Jennie had advised her best friend to take a few days off work. It wouldn’t directly help her feel better, but staying at home and resting was the best option for the first couple of days. Chaeyoung listened to her—for one day.

Other than being the kindest soul on earth, Chaeyoung was also an expert in being overly positive and optimistic. It was one of the reasons she was so keen on Jennie moving on with someone new. She believed that after every storm came a rainbow, and she lived by that in every way she could. Jennie wasn’t so sure about whether it was benefitting her in any way.

Chaeyoung was back working at the café forty-eight hours after her breakup. It was a form of distraction, Jennie assumed. She left in the mornings and was occupied until the late evening, leaving her little to no time to think about her ex. And even though Chaeyoung kept reiterating that she was fine, Jennie still noticed her puffy eyes every morning.

Jennie knew. Chaeyoung did too.

We’re not good for each other. That was the only explanation that Chaeyoung provided. There was no reason to rush. Jennie didn’t ask for too many details about why Chaeyoung did what she did. After all, not being good for one another was a perfectly valid reason to part ways. Jennie was very aware of that. But when she saw the sadness in Chaeyoung’s eyes whenever her ex-girlfriend’s face appeared on her phone screen, Jennie felt that there were unspoken words between them.

The reason Jennie was also kept busy in the following weeks was purely because she had best friend duties. Just the thought of leaving Chaeyoung by herself during such vulnerable times made Jennie feel anxious. She recalled how Chaeyoung was the first person that checked up on her back when the end of her relationship was still unknown to most family and friends. Chaeyoung could tell from miles that Jennie was not being herself, and she couldn’t have been any closer to the pathetic truth. Jennie didn’t have to say a word before Chaeyoung was knocking at her hotel door with beer and takeout bags. It was simply what best friends did.

Chaeyoung had not asked her for anything, but Jennie still stopped by her café right after her working hours. Every afternoon, she would comfortably sit at any empty table she found and review designs and reports on her laptop while Chaeyoung worked.

“I like the typing noise,” Chaeyoung had told her once. Jennie knew that she wasn’t referring to the sound itself, but rather the lack of silence that came with it. She had gone through it—her thoughts would amplify greatly when there was complete silence, and Chaeyoung most likely felt the same way. And so, even when she was done with her work, Jennie still found ways to keep pressing keys on her laptop. Chaeyoung would not have to worry about silence as long as Jennie was around.

It wasn’t until Chaeyoung brought out a familiar plastic bag from her room that Jennie remembered.

“Aren’t these your clothes?”

Correct. Jennie’s damp clothes that had been sitting in a plastic bag on top of Chaeyoung’s desk for more than a week. “Shit.”

Ignoring how awful her clothes smelled, Jennie wasted no time in shoving them one by one into the washing machine. She wasn’t too worried about her own clothes (except for maybe her new jeans), but she had started to slightly panic when Lisa’s hoodie disappeared from the drying rack. She remembered washing it and putting it to dry alongside the sweatpants and undergarments, but the oversized white hoodie was nowhere to be seen.

Chaeyoung had to sheepishly tiptoe back to her room and return with the missing piece of clothing before Jennie’s heart started to beat at a normal pace again. “I took it a few days ago, sorry. I thought it was yours.”

Jennie couldn’t possibly get mad when Chaeyoung pouted at her like that. After all, she and Chaeyoung had the tendency to share clothing without usually having to ask. “It’s okay, I’ll just wash it again.”

Two days of washing, drying, and ironing later, Jennie finally found the time to return to Lisa’s fast-food place. It was Chaeyoung’s day off, so Jennie didn’t have to worry about her friend feeling lonely at the café. She was probably at home, buried in blankets with the Disney filmography playing in the background.

As usual, Jennie stopped right in front of the glass door to peek inside and make sure it was safe to walk in. She had checked her notes three times to confirm that Lisa worked on Saturday nights (and that her manager didn’t), and she was pleased to see that the girl was indeed the only one standing behind the counter.

However, what was quite unusual was the presence of another person animatedly conversing with Lisa from the other side of the counter. As Jennie tentatively stepped towards the entrance, she noticed that the unknown person was a woman. Jennie only had the view of her back as she continued talking, but from the clean dark blue scrubs that covered her body, Jennie assumed she was a doctor.

Weird.

Jennie had no idea as to why a doctor would choose to spend her Saturday night in a place like that. She didn’t have the time to figure it out either.

As soon as Jennie pushed the door open, the girl’s voice was the only thing she could hear.

And then her body froze in place.

“You!” Jennie almost yelled as she let the door slam shut behind her. She stretched her free arm as she accusingly pointed her finger at the girl in scrubs. The deep voice alone was enough of a giveaway, but when the girl turned her head to face her, Jennie saw red.

At first, the girl simply gave her a bored glance. But then, when their eyes finally met, Jennie could see a look of slight annoyance slowly morph into pure confusion. She recognised her—Jennie was certain of it. “What are you doing here?”

Jennie let out a laugh of disbelief. She confidently marched towards the seated girl until her pointed index hovered just inches from the girl’s nose. Due to the sudden approach, the girl leaned back abruptly and slammed her hand on the counter to keep herself seated. “I swear, Kim Jisoo, I am so close to slapping you in the face.”

Jisoo grabbed her arm firmly and shoved it to the side. “I’d like to see you try, Jennie.”

“Don’t test me—” Jennie was rudely interrupted by a pair of hands holding her shoulders and gently making her take two steps back.

“What did I say about yelling at the first person you see?”

Lisa sounded a little more panicked than the other times Jennie had done this. Maybe it was the fact that this time, Jennie had no intention of backing down. She didn’t move her eyes from Jisoo as she raised her other arm behind her and pushed the plastic bag she had been carrying into Lisa’s chest. “Your clothes.”

Jisoo’s eyes moved past Jennie. “Why the hell did she have your clothes?”

“Uh—”

“Do NOT change the subject.” Jennie was quick to bring the attention back to her. It was a fairly arrogant move, but when it came to her best friend’s broken heart, Jennie had no mercy. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, but since we’re here, would you care to explain why the fuck you hurt Chaeyoung like that?”

“Are you being serious? She was the one that broke up with me. It’s not my fucking problem that she feels too guilty about it.”

“And whose fault do you think it was?”

“Well frankly, it’s none of your fucking business, Jennie.”

“It sure as hell is my business when it’s my best friend that you hurt,” Jennie rebutted. Jisoo still held her stance as she remained seated with her arms crossed. Jennie wasn’t willing to step back either.

“Ladies, please… let’s all calm down, yeah?”

----

A few minutes later, Jennie found herself sat on the exact same table as the previous times she had made a scene in front of Lisa. It wasn’t like she did it intentionally , but somehow, she seemed to always meet the wrong people at the wrong time (except for Lisa, obviously). Across from her was no other than Jisoo, also sitting with a scowl on her face. Jennie returned the angry glare without issues.

Lisa didn’t take long before she returned to their table. She definitely didn’t trust Jennie and Jisoo enough to leave them alone for too long, and Jennie honestly couldn’t blame her. If they had continued arguing, Jennie couldn’t guarantee that she would have kept her hands to herself.

“Here’s your diet coke,” she cheerily announced as she placed the silver can in front of Jennie. She then faced Jisoo and smiled just as joyfully. “And here’s your orange juice.”

“What? I also asked for diet coke,” Jisoo protested.

“Yeah, but we only had one left.”

“And why does she get it?”

Lisa shrugged, dismissing the aggressive complaints. “Well, I flipped a coin. Heads for Jennie, tails for you. It just happened to land on heads.”

“Yeah, right. Nothing to do with your weakness for pretty—”

The subtle kick from Lisa under the table didn’t go unnoticed by Jennie. It was hard to miss it given that Jisoo let out the biggest groan of pain as she leaned down to rub her calf. Lisa innocently patted the girl’s back as Jisoo mumbled under her breath. “You’ll pay for this, Manoban.”

Although worried about the outcome, Jennie kindly requested for Lisa to leave her alone with Jisoo. Surprisingly, Lisa agreed to give them a few minutes to talk, even though Jennie doubted the conversation would take too long. It was unlikely she would get any answers in the first place.

It was already impressive that Lisa managed to get Jennie and Jisoo to sit at the same table without either girl starting a screaming match. Jennie was not in the mood for a civil conversation, especially not with Jisoo. But considering she was in a public place with an audience, being mindful of others was the least she could do.  

It still didn’t mean that she couldn’t act smug. Jennie made no effort to hide her smirk as she brought the can to her lips and took a sip of her drink. Jisoo was visibly irritated by her action, but she wisely chose to silence her complaints.

Throughout the duration of Chaeyoung’s relationship, Jennie had only met Jisoo twice. She had seen pictures and heard stories from her friend countless times, but considering that Jennie was still with Taeyang and worked full-time, she could not make time to meet the couple very often.

The first meeting was a formal introduction over dinner, where Jennie got to learn about Jisoo’s profession and the very basics of their relationship. If she recalled correctly, they had first met after Chaeyoung accidentally received a nasty cut from a broken glass at work. Jennie had to hear her best friend gush about the pretty resident doctor that took care of her stitches for hours. 

The second time, Jennie bumped into the couple at the café, with Jisoo wearing a white coat and similar scrubs to the ones she currently had on, just in lighter blue. Her attire wasn’t really unusual given Jisoo’s absurd work schedule. She was more often at the hospital than home, which Jennie presumed was quite an issue when it came to relationships.

She hadn’t seen much of the couple at the time, but she still remembered how both girls looked at each other with nothing but love in their eyes. 

“What went wrong?” was the first thing Jennie asked.

Jisoo grumpily grabbed her boxed juice and ripped off the plastic wrapping around the attached straw. She pushed the pointy end through the drinking hole and started taking steady gulps of the drink.

“Fuck knows,” she finally responded, keeping the straw between her gritted teeth.

“You’re telling me you don’t even know why she broke up with you?”

Jisoo averted her gaze as she shook her head. Jennie rolled her eyes.

“It would be nice if you actually answered honestly, for a start.”

“As if I owe you anything.”

“You’re right, you don’t owe me answers. And yet, I don’t see you leaving this conversation either.”

Jisoo kept quiet after that. Jennie let out a sigh as she crossed her arms and leaned back on her chair. She noticed Jisoo’s leg bouncing up and down underneath the table, but her eyes remained emotionless.

“Did you and Lisa sleep together?”

“Excuse me?” Jennie sat up straight. At the same time, the sound of a plate falling into the sink echoed through the place.

“The clothes.”

“Those were—no, the answer is no,” Jennie explained with rosy cheeks. The fact that Jisoo had got her flustered with such comments was not helping the civil discussion. “And again, stop trying to change the subject.”

“Is Chaeyoung doing well?”

The question came out so hesitantly that Jennie barely heard it. She raised an eyebrow at the sudden inquiry, not expecting Jisoo to actually give in. “Why do you care?”

The other girl squeezed her empty juice box and forcefully slammed it down on the table. “Can you both just—stop? Chaeyoung blocked me literally everywhere. All I want is a little more communication, okay? For fuck’s sake, I had to email her because she won’t answer texts or calls from unknown numbers. And you know what? I don’t even deserve to be interrogated like this when she dumped me over a phone call.”

“She broke up with you over the phone because you wouldn’t fucking meet her, asshole.”

“I’m a doctor, what did she expect me to do? Leave the A&E whenever I pleased?”

Jennie scoffed. “Yeah, right. Pretty shameless of you to pretend she hadn’t asked multiple times. And every single time, you came up with the exact same excuse.”

Jisoo stood up abruptly and stared down at Jennie with furrowed eyebrows. She placed her open palms on the table and leaned her upper body down until Jennie could hear her agitated breath. 

“I’m done with this conversation. Tell Chaeyoung that if she ever wants answers, she knows where to find me.” She didn’t wait for Jennie’s reply before she grabbed her belongings and headed straight for the door.

It made Jennie cackle. “It didn’t work out, did it?”

Jisoo paused, expecting her to continue.

“Avoiding her, I mean. That’s why you refused to meet her, right? Because you knew she’d break up with you?”

Jennie didn’t mean to go that far. In hindsight, the only asshole throughout the whole encounter had been her. She didn’t even know the full story; seeing Chaeyoung hurt was enough to make her blood boil at the sight of her ex, but that still didn’t give her the right to act like that. She really had to stop meddling into other people’s business.

Jisoo’s gaze dropped to her feet, deliberately hiding the pain in her eyes. “Yeah, maybe that was why.”

There wasn’t the time to apologise before Jisoo rushed out the door.

Jennie sighed and dropped her head into her hands, rubbing her tired eyes in the process. Why was she so horrible at dealing with people’s feelings?

Given the nature of her job, Jennie thought that she was fairly skilled in decision-making. When it came to choosing fabrics and materials for a design, or readjusting sizes, or selecting the most suitable models for fashion shows—Jennie always had the answer in a matter of seconds. Understanding people was not as straightforward. Jennie only seemed to make the wrong assumptions and cause chaos.

“That wasn’t very nice.”

Yeah, it really wasn’t. Jennie was relieved that Lisa didn’t sound particularly harsh about it.

“I’m really sorry about that.”

“I’ve seen worse,” Lisa mused as she walked around the table. She took a seat on the same spot that Jisoo had occupied a minute prior. Jennie waited silently as Lisa wiped a few drops of juice on the table, leaving the wet cloth on the side. “Maybe take a gentler approach next time.”

“I don’t plan on having a next time.”

“Oh? You got all your answers?” Lisa smiled slightly.

“None at all, actually.”

Well, she did get one answer. Jennie figured that Jisoo was not even close to being over Chaeyoung, and since her best friend was in a very similar state, Jennie couldn’t see either of them moving on very soon.

“Do you know why they broke up?”

Lisa calmly shook her head. “I didn’t really ask anything, to be fair.”

“Of course,” Jennie laughed. That was pretty much how they met. “You ask no questions, and yet give all the right answers.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is for me.”

Maybe Lisa was simply born with the ability to read Jennie like she had known her for decades. It was a talent, not a skill. Jennie would know since she was an utter failure at reading people no matter how many times she tried. She couldn’t even work out why Taeyang broke up with her, let alone understand other people’s hidden problems.

“So… you’re Chaeyoung’s best friend?”

“You know her?”

“Only by name. I’ve never met her.”

Jennie frowned. “Never? They were together for almost two years.”

“I know. Jisoo never offered to introduce us, and I never requested it.”

“Isn’t that a bit unusual?” Jennie wondered. Surely there would have been a chance for Jisoo to introduce her girlfriend to a close friend of hers.

“Again, I don’t ask questions.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got that.” Jennie dismissed her comment. “So, you’re telling me that they were together for more than a year and broke up, but you never once met Chaeyoung in person?”

“Nope.”

“Right. Interesting.”

“You should stop that.”

“Stop what?”

Lisa playfully tapped Jennie’s forehead with her index. “Trying to use that little brain of yours when it’s not necessary.”

Jennie’s bottom lip jutted out to form a pout. “I’m just trying to—”

“—figure things out?”

“…yes.”

Lisa chuckled at the semi-confident response. She glanced down at Jennie’s drink, then looked up again as she pointed at the half-empty can of coke. “May I?”

“Go ahead.”

Drinking from the same can was a weirdly intimate thing to do, but Jennie supposed they had been through enough to not feel awkward about it. She had worn Lisa’s (clean) underwear after the second time they met, it couldn’t get worse than that.

Jennie’s thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Lisa trying to drink from the can without it making any contact with her lips. She was fairly good at it, but a few drops of coke still missed her open mouth. Jennie couldn’t help but smile amused at the scene. Skilled, but still messy. As Lisa brought the can back down on the table, Jennie reached into her bag and pulled out a clean tissue. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t expect you to sky it.”

“Well, wouldn’t you have felt uncomfortable if I hadn’t?”

“Trust me, I couldn’t care less at this point.” Jennie noticed how Lisa’s cheeks flushed slightly. It was rather cute. “Thank you, by the way.”

“What for?”

“The coke,” Jennie held up the can and finished off the remainder of the drink in one sip. “Did you actually flip a coin?”

Lisa tried her best to suppress a grin. “Did it look like I did?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Fair enough. I just thought that new customers should get priority. Besides, Jisoo always gets free diet coke.”

“Isn’t that against the rules or something?”

“Not when her dad owns the place, no.”

“Your boss is… your friend’s dad?”

Lisa nodded. “He’s also my landlord.”

Somehow, everything unusual about Lisa started to make perfect sense to Jennie.

“I see. Any grudges against the man?”

“Not really,” Lisa replied flatly. “I got a job and a home, can’t really complain.”

“Do you like it?” Jennie suddenly questioned. “Your job, I mean.”

“I don’t mind it, but I don’t actually look forward to it.”

“Not your dream job, I’m guessing.”

For the first time, Lisa showed a smile that had sadness written all over. “Not even close.” 

Jennie was caught off guard by the defeated tone. For the most part, Lisa had always sounded pretty indifferent whenever she spoke about her life. With the exception of the first time she saw Jennie’s old neighbourhood, Lisa had never really brought up the topic.

“What is it, then?”

“What’s what?”

“Your dream job,” Jennie clarified.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does, it’s not like you’re about to retire.”

“It’s not like I’m about to change my job either.”

“Are you not going to tell me?”

“Are you not gonna stop whining about it?”

“I’m not whining!” Jennie huffed. Maybe she was, but Lisa didn’t have to point it out like that. “You’re no fun.”

“And yet this is what… the third time you’ve come here?”

“Hey, I had a reason this time,” Jennie pointed with her finger at the abandoned plastic bag on top of the front counter. “I can officially disappear after tonight.”

“Now who’s being no fun?”

“Why?” Jennie leaned closer with her arm crossed on the table. “You enjoy my company, don’t you?”

It was all fun and games, Jennie had meant it in a very joking manner. But something in the way Lisa averted her gaze and fidgeted with her fingers told her that maybe she wasn’t that far off from the truth.

“Well, I don’t really have options to choose my company.”

Jennie scrunched her nose in a half-playful, half-offended frown as she crumpled up the tissue Lisa had left on the table. She felt no guilt in throwing it at the other girl after Lisa had started giggling at her expression.

“Okay, fine, you’re not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” Jennie repeated in disbelief, but her words probably didn’t come out as clear as she wanted due to the laugh that threatened to escape her lips. Lisa’s carefree laugh was ridiculously contagious.

----

It seemed like Jennie had the tendency to lounge around her friends’ workplaces and grace them with her lovely company lately. Was Lisa even a friend? Jennie supposed so. She was definitely more than a casual acquaintance like her colleagues at the fashion studio. Either way, Jennie was happy that Lisa appeared to be a little more cheerful while serving customers, which she liked to think was partially thanks to herself keeping the girl entertained in-between orders.

“Does your dream job involve being a celebrity?”

Keeping company also meant asking questions in Jennie’s vocabulary. In her defence, she would have kept quiet if not for the fact that Lisa enjoyed listening to her wild guesses. When there were no customers, it would have been awkward to just sit in silence.

“What kind of celebrity?” Lisa questioned, although Jennie had a feeling she was nowhere near the right answer.

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Well, people told me I looked like a K-pop idol in the past.”

It was quite an interesting piece of information, but not very helpful. “How did you look like in the past, exactly?”

“I, uh,” Lisa rubbed the back of her neck as she laughed lightly. “I used to dye my hair a lot.”

“Really? Do you have any pictures?”

“I don’t think so,” Lisa shook her head and looked away. “And even if I did, I would never show them to anyone.”

“Why? Too embarrassing?”

“Hey! I used to look very good. Like an idol, remember?” Lisa countered almost in a smug manner.

“And you still look very good now,” Jennie laughed. 

It was hard to ignore the blatant fact that Lisa was really pretty. She didn’t put much effort in her looks, and Jennie meant it as a compliment. She didn’t wear makeup but her face was naturally beautiful, her clothing consisted of mostly loose hoodies and t-shirts but Lisa made them look very trendy even behind her apron. She simply had a really cool style in Jennie’s eyes.

The comment was thrown casually, which was the reason Lisa’s ears turned red immediately. The girl struggled to come up with a reply and instead started wiping the front counter for what felt like the tenth time that evening. Jennie enjoyed every moment of it.

“Not used to compliments?”

Lisa cleared her throat. “Well, you can’t really say I look good when you look like that.”

Jennie didn’t have to look down at her outfit to know exactly what Lisa was referring to. Unlike Lisa, Jennie’s clothing was definitely more on the tight-fit side, with the exception of her leisurewear. It was mostly due to her work environment requiring formal clothing, Jennie couldn’t really help it. Sometimes she wore dresses and long coats, other times she opted for women’s tailored suits, but the standard remained the same.

“Thank you. But I still stand by what I said.”

Lisa still wouldn’t look at her. Jennie’s smile grew wider.

“Maybe you should have answered the job question to avoid all this blushing,” she teased.

“I’m not…blushing,” Lisa mumbled as she put away her cleaning items. Her words were quite the contrast to her reddening cheeks. Lisa also began to take off her work uniform, which prompted Jennie to glance at the wall clock and let out a hum at the late hour displayed.

“Photography.”

Jennie’s head turned back to Lisa in an instant. “What?”

“My dream job was to be a photographer,” Lisa elaborated. She didn’t sound disappointed or upset by the topic, but Jennie could tell she wasn’t that happy either.

“Was?” Jennie dared to ask.

Lisa hummed as she switched off the lights of the kitchen at the back. She walked out of the staff area and joined Jennie at the table she had pretty much claimed. “You’ll probably never see me out of this place.”

Career advice was not Jennie’s forte. She had a somewhat clear idea of what she had wanted to do in life from her first year of university, and she worked towards her goal ever since. She must have done something right since she was currently in the fashion field. Lisa’s eyes lacked any sign of ambition, though.

“Well, you can still keep it as a hobby, right? And wait until the opportunity to turn it into a profession comes up.”

Lisa actually laughed at the suggestion. “I would be waiting for a long while. I told you, didn’t I? Hope is not really my thing. Besides, I don’t even have a camera to do it as a hobby.”

Jennie frowned. “But if it’s you passion—”

“I had it,” Lisa was quick to add. She casually interlocked her fingers together and raised her arms above her head as she stretched, easing the tension on her spine from the long shift. It almost distracted Jennie from the end of her sentence.

“But I sold it.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“Why does anyone sell their prized possessions?” Lisa asked rhetorically as she brought her arms back down and relaxed on her seat.

“Yeah but… what if…”

Jennie struggled to find her words. How could Lisa give up the thing she loved the most?

“Any money is still money, Jennie.” Lisa answered her silent question. “Sometimes you just gotta do whatever it takes to get by.”

“Money is not everything, there’s still—”

“That’s exactly what a person with money would say,” Lisa smirked.

Jennie could not really argue with that without sounding like a hypocrite. She was born into a rich family and her current job paid her more than enough to live comfortably. Her intention had never been to flaunt her wealth or belittle Lisa’s struggles. Lisa did not seem to have taken any offence, but Jennie still felt rather worried about possibly hurting her feelings with the direction that their conversation had taken.

“Did I sound like an insensitive bitch just now?”

“Nah,” Lisa was quick to sport her best smile of reassurance. “I get it, really.”

“I’m sorry, I just thought…”

Jennie genuinely believed that Lisa was capable of great things, but she had clearly forgotten how life was a fucking bitch to most people.

“I know, but I already gave up long ago. Spent my heart and soul into making it happen but, well, it just didn’t happen.”

Jennie could understand why Lisa stopped being disappointed. It must have drained her to keep trying and waiting, Jennie couldn’t blame her. “I see.”

“It’s getting late,” Lisa gestured towards the clock as she stood up. “I have to close up soon. How are you getting home?”

Jennie supposed that was her way of wrapping up the conversation.

“By bus,” Jennie quietly gathered her things and followed the other girl. “The bus stop is closer than the train station.”

“Yeah, it’s not too far.”

----

When Lisa had told her it’s not too far , Jennie didn’t think that she meant to walk her to the bus stop. She shouldn’t have been that surprised since Lisa had never missed a chance to prove to Jennie that the world wasn’t completely filled with assholes.

They had been walking for a few minutes at a rather slow pace. The street was almost empty with the exception of a few cars passing by. Lisa had opted to stay on the edge of the sidewalk that was next to the road, and Jennie couldn’t help but think that the subtle decision had been influenced by unfortunate experiences involving fast cars splashing water. It wasn’t exactly a high risk that night since it had not rained at all, but Jennie appreciated the thought regardless.

“Do you not own a car?”

Jennie wanted to laugh. Multiple people had asked her that question at one point or another, naturally assuming she owned some sort of modern vehicle to get around. “I can’t drive.”

It was flattering that people thought she looked like she could drive, but the sad truth was that Jennie never passed her driving test. In the previous years, Taeyang was usually her ride to work, while on the way back she simply had to take one train. It was better than spending money on a taxi or waiting for three hours after work for her boyfriend to take her home. Obviously, Jennie didn’t have a ride anymore, but public transport worked just fine.

“Have you never applied for a licence?” Lisa wondered.

“I tried,” Jennie grimaced. “Failed twice.”

“Consecutively?”

“Oh, no, I wasn’t that eager to shatter my pride.” Jennie chuckled. “The first time I was still in high school, then I tried again when I had just graduated from university and returned to Seoul. It was a disaster both times, but I guess the first failure always hurts the most.”

“Was it the theory or practical exam?”

“Practical. I got too nervous.”

Plus, she almost ran someone over, but Lisa didn’t have to know that.

“That’s understandable,” Lisa commented. Jennie hummed in response, but as the bus stop came into view, her eyes squinted to focus on the small electronic screen with the bus ETAs. It took a few further steps for the text to be legible, and Jennie groaned in frustration as she read the waiting time for the next bus.

“Twenty minutes? Is this a joke?”

“It could have been worse.”

Lisa’s optimism sounded almost like Chaeyoung’s positivity. It didn’t make Jennie feel any less annoyed.

“At this rate I’ll have to do a third driving test,” she muttered. There was nothing she could do to control time, so Jennie tiredly slumped on the cold metal seats with a sigh. Half a second was all it took for her to jump back up with a screech and rub her bottom. “Shit, these seats are freezing.”

Hearing no response from Lisa, Jennie turned to the girl to check if she was still there. A look of confusion formed on her face when she noticed Lisa, still very much present, taking off layers of her clothing. “What are you doing?”

Wordlessly, Lisa took off her hoodie and dropped it on the bus stop seats. She then put her jacket back on, looking at Jennie expectantly. “Sit down.”

Once Jennie figured out what had just happened, she immediately started to shake her head as she picked up the hoodie and handed it back to Lisa. “You’re going to be cold. Put it on again.”

Lisa shrugged and accepted the hoodie, but instead of following Jennie’s orders, she placed it back where it was and sat on top of it. She patted the space next to her, inviting Jennie to join her.

“You’re so annoying,” Jennie muttered at last, but she sat down next to the girl without further complaints.

“You don’t mean that.”

“No, I don’t,” Jennie admitted in defeat. Lisa had been anything but annoying. Jennie simply hated how her acts of kindness kept coming, but she couldn’t return them just as fast.

Lisa crossed her long legs and shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. Jennie wondered if she was actually freezing without a hoodie.

“You can go home, you know. It’s a twenty-minute wait, if I hadn’t made that clear.”

“It’s eighteen minutes now,” Lisa pointed out. “And you’re sitting on my hoodie.”

Jennie rolled her eyes. “Okay, first of all, I told you to take it back. And second, I could just wash it and bring it back to you like I did last time.”

“You know, for someone that was so confident about being able to disappear after tonight, you sure do seem to always find an excuse to come back.”

Lisa’s smirk only grew wider at the sight of Jennie’s outraged expression.

“So annoying ,” she repeated in what sounded more like a whine than a complaint.  “And I never said I would disappear.”

Jennie didn’t want to disappear. There was something about Lisa that made her feel at peace at the worst times, and Jennie really didn’t want to let go of that. She couldn’t really tell if Lisa felt the same way, but Jennie had observed how the girl’s demeanour when working had slowly started to change. Lisa had always appeared relaxed, but recently she seemed a little more lively. Whether this was caused by Jennie’s wonderful presence or not, she would gladly stick around if it meant that Lisa would feel less bored during her, well, boring job.

Lisa just nodded, seemingly content with the response. She then opted to stretch her legs out and awkwardly look down at her shoes.

“Where did you study?”

“You mean, my degree?”

“You said… you had to return to Seoul, right? Where were you before?” Lisa asked rather hesitantly.

Jennie found it more amusing that she should have. She gently bumped their shoulders together. “I thought you didn’t ask questions.”

“Oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“I’ve asked worse things,” Jennie mused, thinking back to her failed attempt to identify the boy in Lisa’s framed picture. Lisa’s inquiry was pretty innocent in comparison. “I moved to Paris for my fashion degree.”

“That sounds… pretty great,” Lisa commented, although there was something unusual about her tone that Jennie couldn’t pinpoint.

Studying abroad had definitely been… something. Jennie didn’t mind the experience per se, but rather the events that led up to her moving to France at the age of eighteen. It would have helped if it had been her plan from the start, but it never was. She didn’t think that the mention of it would have brought up memories she had not thought about for years.

“In theory, yes, sounds like a dream.”

“In theory?" The disappointment in her voice must have been felt by Lisa, who turned to give her a curious look. “Why? Were your parents against it?”

Jennie snorted. “Quite the opposite. It’s a long story.”

A story that Jennie would rather bury for good. Strangely, Lisa seemed quite invested in the topic, and Jennie started to wish that the bus timer would go down faster.

“They must be really proud of you now, right?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jennie mumbled. “I haven’t spoken to them in years.”

“Oh,” Lisa’s eyes grew wide. She probably realised she had ventured into sensitive territory. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

The topic made Jennie uncomfortable, she couldn’t lie. No matter how well she was getting along with Lisa, she was nowhere near ready to talk about that specific part of her past. But when she noticed Lisa’s worried gaze, she didn’t hesitate in giving her a comforting smile.

“It’s fine. Talking about my parents is something I’ll reserve for like, meeting number twenty.”

“That’s quite the commitment,” Lisa chuckled, but her eyes remained focused on Jennie with a trace of uncertainty. “Will you do that? Come and see me twenty times?”

“Hey,” Jennie nudged Lisa’s knee playfully. “It doesn’t always have to be that way. Why don’t you come to me instead?”

“I don’t know where you work, nor where you live.”

Jennie’s workplace would probably be a terrible location. There wasn’t really a decent place to hang around with the exception of her office, and Jennie would rather not stay behind those four walls for longer than she had to. She couldn’t see Lisa enjoying such a formal setting either.

“Chaeyoung, my friend… she owns this really nice café not too far from here. It’s not that busy in the evening, which is around the time I drop by to see her.” Jennie loved Chaeyoung’s café. It wasn’t the biggest place, it didn’t have fancy art pieces on the walls or other expensive décor, but Jennie loved how peaceful and cosy it was. Maybe it had something to do with Chaeyoung’s positive energy agenda reflecting in everything she did. “Since Jisoo didn’t bother to introduce her, maybe I can do that instead.”

Was it weird? Jennie was almost thrilled at the prospect of her best friend meeting Lisa. All teasing aside, she really thought that Chaeyoung would like her. Inviting Lisa to her café was the least Jennie could do since she pretty much implied that they were going to see each other another twenty times. (NOT as a potential love interest like Chaeyoung insisted Lisa was.)

Lisa agreed immediately.

----

Chaeyoung was sulking.

Jennie walked into their shared apartment to find the other girl wrapped in a baby blue blanket in the middle of the sofa. It went around her full body and over her head, but Jennie could still see the big, overdramatic pout as Chaeyoung greeted her with an accusing stare.

“You abandoned me,” she whined. Chaeyoung held onto the blanket tightly as she turned to face the opposite direction with a petty humph!

Jennie laughed loudly as she shrugged off her coat and slipped out of her shoes.

“You big baby,” she cooed as she plopped herself down next to Chaeyoung and opened her arms wide. “Come here, I’ll make it all better.”

Chaeyoung still wouldn’t look at her, but she didn’t wait a single second before falling into Jennie’s arms, who in turn cuddled the big blob of blankets and patted the side of her head lovingly.

“Were you at the junk food place all this time?” Chaeyoung’s voice was barely audible as she melted into Jennie’s embrace.

“Yeah, plus a long wait for the bus.”

“Did you have a nice evening without me?”

Jennie pondered for a few seconds on whether or not to mention her encounter with Jisoo. She had no intention of ruining Chaeyoung’s night, but she also didn’t want to lie by omission. She thought about Taeyang, and how people naturally mentioned seeing him without her asking. It didn’t feel great, but Jennie had still wanted to know.

“I met Jisoo today.”

In an instant, Chaeyoung sat up straight and let the blanket fall off her shoulders. “You did?”

Jennie nodded. “Apparently, she’s a close friend of Lisa. She happened to be there when I walked in.”

“Oh,” Chaeyoung let out quietly. She awkwardly rubbed her arm and avoided eye-contact. “Was she… did she say something?”

Jennie had been extremely cautious about not revealing any information about Chaeyoung to Jisoo when they argued spoke. But Chaeyoung was her best friend, and it was Jennie’s rightful duty to report back to her.

“She seemed quite… upset, I guess.”

“About?”

“Well, you breaking up with her on the phone. And also, the whole blocking and no replying thing afterwards.”

Chaeyoung pursed her lips. “She didn’t want to meet me. I had no choice!”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Jennie gasped. “The brutal delivery was not your fault, honey.”

“Yeah… not my fault.”

From Chaeyoung’s hesitant look, Jennie knew that she felt guilty regardless. Knowing that Jisoo was upset had not helped—if anything, it only made things worse. Jennie tapped her fingers on Chaeyoung’s knee waiting for the girl to look at her. Chaeyoung’s gaze remained fixed on her lap.

Jennie did not have enough information about what had happened between Jisoo and Chaeyoung, but she didn't need that to know that feelings lingered. From the reaction of both girls, it was easy to conclude that there was a lot of unresolved tension, whatever the reason may be. There were no ill feelings, just… frustration.

“Do you want to talk to her?” she suggested quietly. Jennie had not even thought about meeting Taeyang to sort out her doubts, but she knew that Chaeyoung’s situation was different.

Chaeyoung sighed and placed her hand on top of Jennie’s, halting the tapping. “Even if I did, she probably wouldn’t listen.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know,” Chaeyoung made a subtle eyeroll, “she has the usual I don’t see a problem attitude when there clearly is one.”

“And what is the problem?” Jennie wondered. She had always been curious about what caused a change in Chaeyoung’s heart. She had not been with Jisoo for too long, but Chaeyoung was so in love. There must have been a serious issue for her to end things abruptly.

“Well, sometimes it felt like we didn't have the same vision.”

“Huh?”

“It’s nothing,” Chaeyoung quickly shut down any further discussion by standing up and folding her blanket.

“She’s worried, you know?” Jennie mentioned offhandedly. Chaeyoung paused for a moment, and Jennie fully recognised the troubled look in her eyes.

“Worried about what?”

“You.”

Chaeyoung pressed her lips together and returned to tidying up.

“She didn’t seem worried about me when she ignored me for weeks,” she scoffed.

So… Jennie was not that far off when she accused Jisoo of avoiding her friend. She really couldn’t understand what was so hard about communicating. It was fundamental in making a long-lasting relationship. But then again, Jennie got dumped, she couldn’t really have a say.

“Are you sure you don’t want to meet her?”

“It’s over, I have nothing else to say.”

Jennie didn’t quite believe that.

Chapter Text

"Do you know that girl?"

Jennie's eyes glanced up, only to meet an amused gaze watching her from afar.

"Define know," Jennie replied, returning her attention to her lunch.

Her coursemate rolled his eyes.

"She lives in your building with other international students, no? I hear a lot about her."

"Like what?"

"That you either love her or you hate her. Do you think she'd go out with me if I asked?"

Jennie left her fork on her plate, losing her appetite. She looked up again, and as if she knew, the girl looked back at her, the flirty smile showing naturally.

"I don't think you're her type."

Love her or hate her, which one would it be?

Working in a design studio was not always exciting. Jennie’s eyes didn’t light up at the thought of spending her day in her office. She much preferred quiet evenings with a pencil in her hand, sketching until her heart felt at peace. There were always going to be good bits and bad bits in life, and Jennie couldn’t really complain about her job. It was what she liked to do the most, even when her company was a pain in the ass.

When her assistant walked into her office holding an unfamiliar file, Jennie knew that it was going to be a long day.

“This is the report on the new intern,” she announced as she placed the file on Jennie’s desk. “She will be shadowing you for the next six weeks.”

Right. An intern that Jennie had never been notified of. The marketing directors loved to advertise their label and promote the wonderful work environment, but sometimes they hired young souls with hopes and dreams without really knowing what to do with them. Jennie simply had to deal with whoever they sent her way without any warning.

“Thanks, Mina. Could you please remind Mr Park that I won’t be here this afternoon?”

Mina smiled sympathetically. “Sure, but he’s not going to like it.”

Jennie swivelled on her chair as she reached for a red folder under a pile of other paperwork. She pulled out a single sheet of paper and read through it to confirm it was the correct document.

“Here,” she passed the paper to her assistant as she dumped the folder back on the pile. “That’s a photocopy of the absence form I submitted two weeks ago. Just in case he gives you a hard time.”

No matter how much of a notice she gave, people always expected her to attend all meetings and be present, even when she wasn’t involved in anything being discussed. Just because she loved her job, it didn’t mean that she didn’t have a life outside of it.

“Always one step ahead, aren’t you?”

“When I can be,” Jennie sighed. She picked up the new intern’s CV and ran a hand through her hair, “I didn’t really prepare for this, though.”

“I met her yesterday morning. She seemed really sweet,” Mina offered.

Jennie had to agree from the little ID picture shown on the file. The girl was smiling from ear to ear, so brightly that her eyes almost disappeared. Her details were pretty much a reflection of the company’s hiring standards. Korean, studying abroad with top grades, fluent in English, and very young. Everything in line with their marketing team’s aim to expand internationally.

“Yeah, quite impressive, I guess.” Jennie placed the file aside. “When is she joining me?”

“Uh,” Mina glanced at her elegant wristwatch—a gift that Jennie had given her last Christmas. “In two hours, more or less.”

“Oh, great,” Jennie muttered. “Shadowing me, you said?”

“That’s all I’ve been told,” Mina confirmed.

Jennie had enough experience to know that shadowing was just another way of telling her to deal with an audience while working. She assumed there were good intentions behind hiring them, but when it came to her interns, the higher-ups couldn’t care less about whether or not they learnt anything. Surely spending six weeks observing her was not going to be enough. Not with all the competition they had while applying, in addition to the anxiety-inducing interviews with questions that even Jennie didn’t have answers to.

In conclusion, Jennie had to come up with something for her intern to do.

----

The girl that walked into her office a couple of hours later was exactly who Jennie had imagined.

She had knocked twice and waited respectfully for Jennie to invite her in before she opened the door. Her bow almost formed a ninety-degree angle, and her smile was pretty much tattooed on her lips. Jennie felt a bit overwhelmed.

“Hello, Miss Kim. My name is Choi Julia, I am honoured to be working with you.” She bowed again just as enthusiastically. “I will be in your care.”

Oh God , Jennie had forgotten how hard young people had to try to begin their career. Jennie had been through it too—be polite, smile at all times and only speak when she had to. She had followed every advice she had received until she was finally given a permanent position. Years later, she felt quite uncomfortable at the forced excitement.

“Hello,” she greeted. She briefly glanced at the girl’s CV again to make sure she got the facts right. “Julia? In here it says Choi Jisu.”

“Yes!” she answered immediately. “My Korean name is Jisu, but I have been using my English name for my studies. Please call me Lia, if you wish. Or Jisu, if it’s better. Or Julia, I don’t mind anything!”

Jennie parted her lips. The girl sure had a lot of energy.

Having an English name was not unusual. In her own first interview, they had even asked Jennie what her Korean name was, assuming that she had been going by her English name to broaden her horizons . The interviewers had been quite dubious when they found out she was just… Jennie.

“Lia it is,” she smiled. She nodded her head at the chair in front of her, “take a seat, please.”

Lia took two steps, and she was already seated. Back straight, hands on her lap, and legs crossed neatly. She grinned as she waited patiently, her eyes disappearing in half-moons exactly like in her ID picture.

“Right,” Jennie exhaled. “Let me introduce myself, first and foremost. My name is Jennie Kim—”

“I know!” Lia perked up, but as soon as she realised that she had interrupted, she covered her lips and bowed for the nth time. “I’m so sorry, please continue.”

“It’s fine,” Jennie reassured the young girl. She could see her shoulder tense up at the mistake. “You said you know me?”

As she was given permission to talk, Lia nodded with glee. “Of course! I have studied and analysed your recent work as an emerging designer in the fashion industry as part of my portfolio. Your designs are incredibly beautiful and complex in their own way. They are a source of great inspiration, Miss Kim. I’d be a fool to enter this company without knowing your name by heart.”

“Wow,” Jennie breathed as her eyes grew a little wide. Sure, she had made a number of contributions with her designs and worked hard to get them approved, but her name was nowhere near as big as other individuals in the label— yet . “Thank you, it’s really flattering for you to say so, but I’m sure there are other designers much more influential than me.”

“Oh, that’s not true!” Lia objected, and Jennie started to find her dedication quite endearing. “Two years ago, I booked tickets to the New York fashion week to attend your show. It was the most wonderful night of my life.”

Ah yes, the New York fashion show was the proudest moment in Jennie’s career by far. Only two of her designs made it to the runway, but Jennie had been over the moon with the result. It was such a big achievement in the short time she had been working with the fashion label. That night was magical, Jennie agreed.

“It wasn’t my show,” Jennie corrected softly, but she offered her most sincere smile. “But I appreciate your words. I would have loved to meet you if you had come to see me after the event.”

“I wanted to, I almost did,” Lia laughed awkwardly. “But you were accompanied by a tall gentleman, a model I believe. I didn’t want to intrude.”

Of course. Jennie bit her lip before letting out a forced laugh of her own. Taeyang had been by her side throughout the whole thing. He held her hand tightly and whispered all kinds of compliments in her ear all night. He was a model, but he didn’t attend the show for work. He had been Jennie’s official date, her supportive boyfriend.

“I’m so proud of you.”

“You will shine so brightly one day.”

“I’m so in love with you.”

Fuck. Jennie really did not want to remember anything. Not at work, not in front of an intern, not while reminiscing her proudest moment.

“This is not working anymore.”

“We’re done.”

“Right, I see.” Jennie undid the top button of her shirt and cleared her throat. She just wanted to move on from the subject as soon as possible. “Alright then, let’s get to your internship schedule, shall we?”

----

Jennie was exhausted.

Fridays always seemed longer than most days, but Jennie felt as if all energy had been drained from her body. She had left work with an aching back, which she was aware was fully her own fault for having such a bad posture in front of a computer screen.

Her morning had been dedicated to guiding her intern and introducing her to Jennie’s team. Lia was undeniably bright, and Jennie could feel the admiration the girl had for her whenever they spoke about her work. Instead of just letting her follow her around the office, Jennie decided to assign her a few practical tasks at the studio that would make her days a little more entertaining. After all, what was the point in hiring her if she was not going to gain any hands-on experience from the internship?

Thankfully, Jennie had been allowed to leave right after lunch and was able to miss a rather lengthy meeting. That afternoon she had an appointment with a client regarding adjustments for a photoshoot outfit, and Jennie was really glad that it took her less than an hour to get it sorted. At last, she was done with work for the day.

Jennie could not hide her tiredness as she dragged her feet to Chaeyoung’s café. Her arm hurt due to the shoulder strap of her heavy laptop bag, while her feet were sore from the prolonged walk in uncomfortable shoes. Jennie wanted nothing more than to sit with her best friend and get some caffeine into her system.

The ring of a bell as Jennie pushed the door open was music to her ears. She expected to see Chaeyoung behind the counter talking to customers, or in front of the coffee machine preparing an order, or maybe taking care of the little pastry shelf so it looked neat from every angle.

But when she stepped inside, Jennie’s eyebrows furrowed at the unexpected presence in front of her.

As predicted, Chaeyoung was indeed making a drink with her back to the door. The sound of the bell prompted her to glance behind and give Jennie a forced smile before she returned to her task.

However, the customer waiting for said order was no other than Kim Jisoo.

Jennie halted and moved her gaze back and forth between the two ex-lovers.

What the fuck—

“Jennie!”

The hushed call of her name made her jump. Jennie held her chest as she recovered from the shock, cursing herself for being so easily startled. She turned towards the direction of the familiar voice and raised an eyebrow at the sight of Lisa waving at her enthusiastically, almost as if she couldn’t feel the tension in the air that Chaeyoung and Jisoo had created.

Neither Chaeyoung nor Jisoo paid attention to her, so Jennie decided it was best not to cause any drama and join the seated girl instead. After all, she was certain that Lisa would keep her from kicking Jisoo’s ass out of the café.

As she approached the occupied table, she noticed a single cookie on a tissue paper in front of Lisa. Or better, half a cookie since Lisa appeared to have been enjoying it before Jennie arrived. She walked past the girl and slid into the opposite side of the booth, letting her laptop bag rest beside her.

“Nice seeing you here,” she commented. “But when I invited you, I didn’t expect you to bring my friend’s ex-girlfriend along.”

Although Jennie smiled sweetly, her tone was definitely bitter. She wasn’t mad, but the last thing she needed on a Friday evening was fixing a broken heart again .

“Well, I didn’t exactly receive an address, Jennie.” Lisa smirked, and Jennie wanted nothing more than to wipe if off her smug face. She hated that Lisa was actually right.

“You could have… asked me?” she attempted to argue weakly. From Lisa’s confident grin, Jennie knew that she was never going to win.

“I don’t recall receiving your number either. I can’t really ask you when I have no way of contacting you.”

“And you asked her instead? ”

Jennie furtively stole a glance at the girls on the other side of the café. Jisoo had not moved an inch, and Chaeyoung seemed to act like the other girl did not exist. It was better than a shouting match, Jennie supposed.

“I asked her, yes. She was the one that insisted to come with me, though.”

Jennie rolled her eyes. “Go figure.”

Lisa was too distracted by her chocolate chip cookie to notice Jennie’s unimpressed stare. She almost looked like a child in Jennie’s eyes, eating contently and without a single worry to bother her. Jennie only wished she could reach that level of peacefulness herself.

“This is really good, you know?” Lisa pointed at the empty tissue filled with crumbs. “Well, it’s gone now. But the cookies here are so big! And Chaeyoung said I could have this one for free. She was so nice.”

“You told her who you were?”

Lisa nodded as she wiped her mouth. “She didn’t look happy when we first walked in, but after I told her my name, she was super welcoming.”

“To you?”

“To me,” Lisa confirmed. “I don’t think she spoke a single word to Jisoo yet.”

“Not surprising,” Jennie snorted. From her position, she could still see the girl waiting for her order, or at least acting like she was. Jennie had noticed how Jisoo kept lifting her head from her phone to casually look around until her eyes landed on Chaeyoung, who never once looked back at her.

“You’re not working today?”

“Ryujin had to take her girlfriend somewhere this morning, so I had to cover her shift,” Lisa explained. “Now she’s covering mine, so my evening is free.”

“I see.”

“And you? Spent the day around mannequins?”

The laughs came so easily, and Jennie’s tiredness gradually eased. She proceeded to spend a few minutes explaining to Lisa what exactly she did at work, and also mentioned the new intern pretty much fangirling over her throughout the day. (Jennie had not minded it at all.)

It wasn’t until she saw Jisoo’s order being left on the counter that Jennie realised she had to leave if she wanted to avoid another argument. She had learnt to keep her mouth shut to escape unnecessary confrontation.

Jennie placed her hands on the table as she pushed herself up from the cushioned seat. She wasn’t really planning on ever speaking to Jisoo again, and the fact that she was Lisa’s friend didn’t change that.

Except, as soon as she lifted her bottom off the seat, Jisoo slid into her side of the booth and pushed her back inside, trapping Jennie between the window and herself.

“Excuse me?”

Jisoo was not even facing her. The girl’s eyes were fixed on Chaeyoung, who clearly had no intention of returning a single look.

“Can you move—”

Jisoo shushed her, sliding the disposable coffee cup she was holding down the table until it was right in front of a very annoyed Jennie.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Take a sip.”

“What?”

“I said take a sip!” Jisoo finally had the decency to look her in the eyes as she spoke. “If Chaeyoung poisoned it, then she wouldn’t let her best friend drink it.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jennie pushed the coffee away with the back of her hand. The drink smoothly travelled across the table and landed in front of Lisa, who had not bothered to interrupt either girl as she held the cup between her hands.

“Oh, so you also think it’s poisoned?” Jisoo countered.

“If I did, I would have gladly returned it to you.”

Without waiting for a reply, Jennie attempted to stand up once again. Her plans were quickly crushed by a hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her back down. Jennie couldn’t hide her scowl.

“I’d like to leave, thanks.”

“You can’t,” Jisoo actually whispered . She promptly grabbed a nearby abandoned newspaper and opened it widely, covering herself and Jennie behind it. “You’re my spotlight.”

Jennie was so tired of trying to understand. “Your what?”

Jisoo slowly, slowly lowered the newspaper until the two girls could peek over the top of it. For a moment, Chaeyoung’s concerned eyes met Jennie’s confused ones, before she looked away swiftly. Jisoo immediately brought the newspaper back up, completely ignoring Lisa waving at them innocently from the opposite seat.

“See? She looks my way if I have you with me.”

Jennie did not have the energy to argue. She let out a long sigh and leaned back, clearly not having the option to leave. Crossing her arms, she stared blankly straight ahead, sometimes looking at Chaeyoung to check that she was actually paying more attention to their table. After catching her friend sneaking glances twice, Jennie concluded that Jisoo might have been on the right track.

“Have you considered maybe, I don’t know, speaking to her?” Jennie suggested, although her sarcastic tone made it seem like the most obvious thing in the world.

“As if she would talk to me at all.”

“So, you haven’t tried.”

Jisoo rolled her eyes. “Obviously not.”

“Well, go and say hi?”

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Jisoo retorted with a hint of frustration.

“You’re the one not listening!”

“Why would I follow your advice? Last time you literally yelled at me.”

“Because you deserved it,” Jennie mumbled under her breath, but she didn’t give Jisoo a chance to express her outrage. “What are you trying to achieve, exactly?”

“Me?” Jisoo pointed at herself in disbelief. “Lisa asked me to show her the way, I had no part in this.”

“Well, I only asked you for the address— ouch. ”

Jennie heard a kick under the table, and Jisoo’s glare directed at a wincing Lisa was enough of an explanation. It seemed like the two friends had a thing for not-so-peaceful ways to shut each other up.

“Right, so I’m guessing it would be totally fine for Rosie not to notice you at all, then?” Jennie insisted. She had little patience for overbearing exes, much less for overbearing exes in denial. “It’s not like you came to see her, correct?”

Jisoo looked rather offended, but when she made no move to counter-argue, Jennie knew she finally had the last word. She didn’t necessarily believe that Jisoo had no intention to see Chaeyoung, Jennie wasn’t blind. However, as long as Jisoo insisted on acting indifferent, Jennie would refuse to offer any help.

Seeing that Jisoo began to avoid her stare, Jennie returned her gaze to the girl that had patiently sat through their petty interaction. 

Lisa looked really comfortable outside of her usual fast-food attire. She wore a white, oversized, long-sleeved sweatshirt and black jeans, accompanied by a fashionable black cap on top of her head. Jennie couldn’t help but wonder if the tidier attire was due to Lisa meeting her for the first time outside of her work setting. Lisa’s clothing was not usually untidy per se, but Jennie definitely noticed there was a little more care put into today’s look. The most obvious signs were the simple silver earrings and steel rings around her fingers, which suited the girl perfectly. Jennie had never seen her with jewellery, but Lisa certainly knew what she was doing.

Jennie was so busy analysing Lisa’s outfit that she was caught off guard by the look of disgust that appeared on Lisa's face. She had dared to take a sip of the drink Jisoo bought, and from her reaction it was definitely not to her taste.

“What?” Jennie laughed. “Don’t tell me you also think it’s poisoned?”

Jisoo’s eyeroll had been completely ignored.

“Oh, no, it’s not that.” Lisa scrunched up her nose and coughed a few times. “This coffee is very bitter.”

“It’s coffee, what did you expect?” Jisoo commented.

Jennie reached for the cup and also tasted the drink. She was used to sugar-free coffee, so her reaction had not been as extreme. “Black coffee, no sugar? No wonder Rosie broke up with you.”

“Hey!” Jisoo snatched her drink back. “You sure have a lot to say considering you also got your ass dumped.”

“At least I showed up in person!” Jennie whisper-yelled, not wanting to drag Chaeyoung into the argument.

“At least I—"

“Ladies!” Lisa forcefully cleared her throat. Jennie and Jisoo both quieted down after hearing the apparent annoyed tone. Lisa had her arms crossed and displayed a slight frown on her face. “Can you please spend five minutes without being at each other’s throats?”

Jennie looked at Jisoo.

Jisoo looked at Jennie.

Neither girl dared to speak a word.

Feeling a mix of guilt and embarrassment, Jennie leaned an elbow on the table and placed her chin on her palm as she stared outside the glass window beside her. Jisoo stretched her legs and sighed. She sat still for a few seconds, playing with her thumbs as she stared down at her lap.

It was the most uncomfortable silence ever.

From her peripheral view, Jennie could see Lisa awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. All signs of frustrations she had previously expressed were replaced with concern. If anything, it only made Jennie feel more guilty about her childish feud with Jisoo. Lisa shouldn’t have to deal with their bickering every time they were in the same place at the same time.

After some hesitation, Jennie got ready to speak again, but Jisoo beat her to it as she stood up abruptly.

“I’ll get you some hot chocolate.”

It was more of an announcement than an offer, and Lisa could only stare at her friend blankly before she was gone. Jennie knew the hot chocolate had very little to do with Lisa and almost everything to do with her pretty best friend behind the front counter.

“I don’t know whether her perseverance is admirable or a pity,” Jennie sighed at last.

“A mix of both, I think.”

Jennie was still not sure about the outcome of these post-breakup advances from Jisoo. If she was being honest, she could see the couple getting back together just as much as she could imagine them moving on after a while. It was hard to predict whether Chaeyoung was willing to give Jisoo another chance, regardless of what exactly the girl did to push her over the limit. Jennie wished she could be like Lisa, who so far did not seem invested in the slightest.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she noticed a familiar figure standing idly outside the café.

Jennie dropped her hand on the table and pushed herself closer to the window, squinting at the tall individual stepping around a white car and opening the passenger door. It was at that moment that Jennie got a clear view of the person’s face, immediately confirming her worries.

“Oh my god.”

It had to be a nightmare. There was no way.

“What are you looking at?” Out of curiosity, Lisa slid down her side of the booth until she was also on the window seat, cupping her hands above her eyes as she pushed her face close to the foggy glass. “I can’t see anything.”

Jennie didn’t reply. She was still staring at the person outside, the one that managed to ruin her day even more just with their presence.

“Is it the sushi place? I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

The sushi restaurant that was located across the street from the café was not of Jennie’s interest, but the couple that just entered the place hand in hand definitely was.

Jennie was a sensible person almost all the time. She faltered sometimes, like the night she was dumped. She made some choices that were prompted by moments of pure insanity. This time, her impulsive decision originated from nothing but her own nosiness.

Bolting out of her seat, Jennie made a quick grab for Lisa’s hand and tugged until the girl got on her feet and joined her. Lisa made no move to stop her as Jennie dragged her towards the front door, passing by Chaeyoung and dropping her laptop bag on the counter.

“Watch this for me, my love!” she called out as she exited.

Jisoo shot her a not-so-subtle glare at the words.

----

Sushi had been a pretty regular presence in Jennie’s life during the past couple of years. It was a rather healthy meal, tasted great, and had its alimentary benefits and whatnots.

However, the real reason that Jennie was so used to sushi was Taeyang’s ‘ gym guy ’ lifestyle. She had already realised that her diet at the time had been heavily influenced by her ex-boyfriend’s judgemental attitude, so it didn’t really surprise her to see said ex-boyfriend on a date with a new potential love interest in a sushi restaurant.

“It’s been years since I had sushi.”

Jennie returned her attention to the girl sat on the opposite end of the small table they managed to request without prior booking. It was mostly due to luck, but Jennie’s charming batting of eyelashes at the shy boy in charge of reservations may have helped them get through.

“Is that so?”

Lisa hummed as she skimmed through the menu.

“It’s always been a little over my budget for meals. Good sushi seems more like a luxury to someone like me.” Lisa closed the menu and held it up between her fingers. “Look, even this menu has a leather cover.”

“ Faux leather, ” Jennie commented. It was all for appearance, even the metal detailing on the edges was not well put together. “And it’s my treat, order whatever you want.”

“You should not say that, Jennie,” Lisa warned with a slight upturn of her lips. “There’s lobster and wagyu beef on the menu. One day, someone will take advantage of that generous offer you throw around so easily.”

“You’re not just anyone though, are you?” Jennie pointed out with a huff. “And if you want a lobster, go ahead and order one. I don’t care.”

Lisa laughed under her breath, but Jennie easily stood her ground. Her financial status was different from Lisa’s, they had both gathered as much from the first time they had met, but that didn’t mean that Jennie wasn’t willing to spend money for her friends without hesitation. And Lisa, weirdly enough, felt a lot like a good friend that deserved an expensive meal.

“Okay, fine,” Lisa let out between chuckles. “I’ll take that salmon sushi. The one with white rice and a pretty slice of salmon on top.”

Once their orders had been settled, Jennie casually glanced to her side. On the other side of the restaurant, past the many tables and the central bar, Taeyang and his pretty date seemed engulfed in a lovely conversation. She couldn’t deny that her aim had been observing the couple from afar. After all, it was the first time she had seen Taeyang in person after they broke up, and with a new girl by his side at that.

“I’m pretty sure they will feel your gaze burning on the back of their necks.”

“I doubt there’s anything that could distract them,” Jennie retorted. The couple never looked away from one another; Jennie had experienced the same thing when she first began dating Taeyang. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him at the time, much like the girl that was currently the centre of his attention.

There was not much that Jennie could do other than stare at them subtly from time to time. Taeyang seemed to have found his cheerful smile again, one that Jennie had not seen in a long while. His date was also glowing, responding to him with gentle eyes and a bright grin.

They seemed really happy.

“Do you still love him?”

Too invested in observing her ex-boyfriend’s date, Jennie had not registered Lisa’s question immediately. Once she did, her eyes grew wide as she looked back at Lisa with slight panic.

“What… what makes you think that?”

Lisa crossed her arms on the table and shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe the fact that we’re sitting in a sushi place with your ex having a date a few metres from us?”

It probably looked really wrong, Jennie admitted that. But was it because she was still in love with Taeyang? Not a chance.

“I don’t,” she replied quietly. Lisa did not seem to trust her words at all, and Jennie could not blame her given the situation. “I’m not here to ruin his date. That’s not my intention.”

“Then?”

Jennie pressed her lips together. “I envy him.”

“For what, exactly?”

“He got his life back together in no time. I still can’t get a decent apartment, and I have not even tried to get back into dating.”

It was simply frustrating. Jennie spent so much time wondering how Taeyang could move on so quickly that she had completely missed the fact that she was also supposed to do the exact same. There was no point in holding grudges or reminiscing about the past if she was not willing to make any steps forward. She wasn’t keeping up with him because she still had feelings for him. The ugly truth was that she just couldn’t stop comparing herself to Taeyang.

“Then, fix it.” Lisa’s tone was so firm that Jennie felt like she was being scolded. The only thing reassuring her that Lisa was not actually telling her off was the kindness in her eyes, which offered nothing but a sense of comfort. “I can help you find a place if you need. And for the dating, well, it’s up to you. You could start any time as long as you’re ready.”

It never failed to amaze Jennie how Lisa could make her feel like everything was going to be okay with just a few words. It was almost as if the universe had sent her this wonderful human to make up for the shitty treatment that she received from Taeyang.

And maybe Lisa had a point.

The only obstacle that stopped Jennie from moving on with her life was no other than Jennie herself. It had been more than a month since the end of her relationship, and even if it was her longest (and somewhat most stable) relationship, Jennie had to let go of her doubts. Analysing everything that happened with Taeyang was not going to help her figure out what she did wrong, if she did anything at all. The only person that would give her straight answers would be her ex-boyfriend, and Jennie was not that desperate to reach out to him to find out.

Time was all she needed, and time had passed.

“I should start dating again.”

Lisa’s eyebrows shot up in shock. “Wait—I mean, that was kinda quick? Are you sure you don’t want to…?”

Jennie had never shaken her head so confidently. “I think I’m ready.”

----

Chapter Text

“We had no other choice, Jennie. Those… questionable comments were spreading around like wildfire. What would’ve happened if your grandfather heard? Or your sister? You should know how to put family above everything.” The patronising tone made Jennie clench her jaw. “You have to understand that your father and I just want what is best for you.”

“Right. Sending me to the other side of the world was best for me. Got it.”

“We had to keep the situation under control.”

“It wasn’t the situation though, was it? Because I told you nothing happened,” Jennie scoffed. “It was me. I was the one you wanted to control.”

“You chose the university and got the degree you wanted. We didn’t force you to do anything.”

“I’m not talking about the degree!” Jennie yelled with frustration. “You wanted me gone. You thought that making me disappear would solve everything. That’s exactly what makes both you and dad utter cowards.”

“Being against abnormal behaviour does not make us cowards, Jennie Kim.”

And in that moment, her mother stopped looking like family.

Jennie had felt confident when she announced her return to the dating world.

It wouldn’t have been the first time she attempted to find someone compatible by going out and testing the waters with different people each night. She had gone through the process before, which was what had led her to her now ex-boyfriend.

Jennie initially met Taeyang on the set of a photoshoot she was monitoring, and it didn’t take long for him to ask for her number. She had been smitten by him the first time they went out together, and that was when she realised  that she did not want to meet anyone else.

Fast forward three years and they were no longer together, but Jennie still remembered the feeling of just knowing that she had found the right one. Someone that she would want to see again, over and over. Someone that she would never get tired of talking to. Someone that could easily win her heart.

Clearly, Taeyang had not been the right one for good, but Jennie didn’t necessarily have to think that far ahead. She just needed to find a connection, and time would deal with the duration of said connection.

When she first told Chaeyoung about her plans, her friend had been beyond ecstatic. She had immediately pulled up the social media profiles of numerous acquaintances she had, insisting that it didn’t hurt anyone to have plenty of options.

Jennie had to thank her for making the job of looking for potential dates a little easier, but she was very stern about the type of people she was willing to reach out to.

“I don’t want to talk to anyone that doesn’t live in Seoul.”

That was her first condition. Chaeyoung had huffed and sulked as she scrolled past all the usernames of her friends back in Australia, as well as some relatives and friends from distant cities in South Korea.

Jennie didn’t want to try a long-distance relationship, especially not with someone she had not met before. She wasn’t against that type of relationship itself, but she was fairly sure that she would do a terrible job at keeping the romance alive with someone she couldn’t see regularly. It was a risk that she was not willing to take.

“You don’t even know who this man is!”

It should have been pretty obvious that Jennie was NOT meeting total strangers. Even if it was the friend of a friend of a friend, Jennie needed some sort of guarantee that the person she would be going on a date with was a decent human being.

And so, the pretty guys and girls that neither of them could vouch for were excluded.

“You said she dated a woman before, right?”

Most of the female profiles that Chaeyoung showed her were of girls that she confidently knew were open to dating, well, other girls. Unless Chaeyoung could confirm that they were not exclusively into guys, Jennie would give the girls a solid pass for her own sake. She did not want to deal with the whole ‘I’m straight’ rejection if she could avoid it, especially the ‘I’m straight but I wouldn’t mind giving it a try’. They always minded at the end, from Jennie’s experience.

Eventually, as they started to gather profiles of people Jennie liked enough to contact, a list of possible dates was created.

It wasn’t an extensive list, really. There were less than ten names she had noted down, and Jennie was not even completely certain that she wanted to meet all of them. Well, truthfully, she was not even sure if she wanted to message them. She had never felt the need to slide into the DMs; the thought alone made her feel like she was doing something she was not supposed to.

Therefore, Chaeyoung did the messaging for her. She didn’t directly ask for a date, but rather initiated the ‘I have a single hot friend that you might be interested in’ type of talk. It was mostly to find which candidates were actually interested in dating. Some of them replied immediately questioning ‘how hot?’, which Jennie found a little off-putting, while others left Chaeyoung on read, which did not make her friend happy at all.

In the end, she ended up with three people she had a shot with.

The first guy was, ironically, a model like her ex-boyfriend. His profile was a  mixture of professional photoshoots and pictures of seemingly expensive vacations. He was the type of guy that travelled a lot for pleasure, which Jennie found quite unimpressive.

Chaeyoung met the guy through her sister, although she never had a proper conversation with him. To ensure she knew as much as possible before meeting him, Jennie even messaged Alice to ask how they knew each other and whether he was as nice in person as he sounded online. The older girl vaguely confirmed it, stating that they went on the same holiday abroad with a group of shared friends once.

“I don’t remember much other than all of my single friends drooling over that guy. I think he was alright.”

That was all the information Jennie had received from Chayeoung’s sister. It wasn’t a solid green light, but it was enough for Jennie to give him a chance.

He invited her to dinner.

It was the typical restaurant set-up with a medium-rare steak and red wine. For some reason, it was exactly the type of date that Jennie associated with his social media profile.

He was initially very nice.

He introduced himself as Rowoon, and Jennie couldn’t help but notice how he looked like some sort of celebrity from every angle when she met him in person. He had the height and the deep voice, ticking every single box of her teenage dating standards.

The first issue was that Jennie was not a teen anymore, and her standards had changed quite a bit since then.

Rowoon liked to speak a lot about himself. Jennie wouldn’t have minded that if it wasn’t for the fact that he also loved to cut off her sentences every single time she opened her mouth. She wanted to get to know him, but she couldn’t say the same for him.

Jennie doubted he even remembered her name.

“Have you ever gone scuba diving? When I was in Hawaii…”

It got harder and harder to give him her complete attention. The stories he told were extremely repetitive, though Rowoon was entirely oblivious to it. He mentioned some sort of special, unique experience he had in some foreign country he visited, and then proceeded to boast about it for the next ten minutes or so. Over and over again.

Jennie was getting tired of it.

She quietly nodded her head from time to time, and apparently that was enough of a signal for Rowoon to continue speaking about anything he wanted. The food was decent at least, although she was never the biggest fan of steak. Rowoon couldn’t have known since he never bothered asking what she wanted to eat, but he sure did remember to share his lovely anecdote about the luxury meal he had at Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant in London last year.

Jennie finally had a break from Rowoon’s stories when the sommelier approached their table. As soon as the wine topic came up, Rowoon used it as an excuse to show off his knowledge of fine wine that he claimed he had gained during a trip to France. Jennie felt particularly proud of herself when she refrained from correcting his horrible pronunciation of French wines. He probably wouldn’t be interested in knowing she spent three years studying in Paris either, not when he asked her if she had ever visited the country and proceeded to ignore her yes to continue the conversation with the sommelier. Poor guy, Jennie thought.

Rowoon’s voice started to fade into the background when Jennie heard her phone buzzing. As discreetly as possible, Jennie reached on the back of her chair to grab the side of her coat. She pulled out the device from her pocket and tapped on the screen to see her notifications.

A smile appeared on her lips when she read Lisa’s name on her recent messages.

Lisa
how is your date going?
19:14

They had finally got around to exchanging numbers after Lisa had rightfully pointed out that she had no way of contacting Jennie back at the café. Initially, Jennie simply asked Lisa to text her when she had an evening shift (without her manager) and felt lonely. The girl had teased her that the offer had very dirty connotations, which Jennie did not hesitate to deny.

Surprisingly, Lisa had asked Jennie how she was planning to start dating again a couple of days back. Jennie had almost forgotten that Lisa was the first person she had announced her intentions to, and so, after some initial confusion, Jennie had told her about her upcoming date with Rowoon.

Lisa wished her the best, but Jennie’s evening was proving itself to be a fucking disaster.

Jennie
 absolutely terrible
19:15

Lisa’s reply was almost immediate, and Jennie had never been so glad to have a distraction. Rowoon did not seem to notice at all as he had already trapped the sommelier into his storytelling.

Lisa
what’s terrible about it?
19:15

Jennie
 him.
 19:15

Lisa
is he being creepy?
do you need me to come and rescue you?
19:15

Jennie
 please :(
 19:15

Lisa appeared to be typing for a few seconds, and then she went offline without sending a reply. Jennie sighed and held her phone on her lap, returning her bored gaze to the most self-centred man she had the displeasure to meet.

At last, the sommelier managed to escape Rowoon’s trap as he took Jennie’s quick order and left a little too hurriedly. Rowoon stopped talking mid-sentence and followed the retreating figure with disappointed eyes.

“I was just getting to the good bit!” he complained.

Jennie rolled her eyes, but she saved her insults for another time. She had to prepare herself for yet another extensive listening session with no input.

Unexpectedly, Rowoon went silent for a few seconds. Jennie raised a brow in question as he continued to stare at her with an indecipherable look. There seemed to be a glint of amusement in his eyes, which Jennie could not explain.

Not until he opened his mouth again.

“Jennie, I’ve been meaning to ask…” he started slowly, and Jennie could not even feel impressed that he recalled her name before the end of his sentence filled her with dread.

“You’re Taeyang’s ex, right?”

Fuck my life.

It seemed like her night was about to get ten times worse.

“I’m sorry?”

Please, please, please… this is not happening.

“Yoo Taeyang?” Rowoon had this over-confident smirk that Jennie was dying to wipe off his arrogant face. He knew exactly what he was doing. “We worked together before. Modelled for Calvin Klein, you know?”

No, Jennie did not know and was not keen to know either. She tightened the grip on her phone below the table in a weak attempt at controlling her growing annoyance.

“Right. I see.”

The buzzing of her phone continued, but Jennie was too occupied with keeping herself together. What exactly were Rowoon’s intentions?

“We used to be together, yes. Does that answer your question?”

Rowoon chuckled and leaned back on his chair, sporting a grin that Jennie could only describe as evil.

“I bet he was a shit boyfriend. The asshole stole one of my modelling gigs once, can you believe it?”

Yes, Jennie was desperate to answer. Considering Rowoon’s behaviour throughout the dinner, Jennie was not surprised that his intrusive questions originated from a petty grudge. Even when she didn’t feel as fond of him, Jennie had to admit that Taeyang was incredibly professional toward his modelling career, and he was a pleasure to work with. Jennie had never been unlucky enough to have Rowoon model for a campaign of hers, but she had no doubt that he was a nightmare on set.

Jennie swiftly unlocked her phone as Rowoon’s complaints continued, and she scanned the unread messages from Lisa before typing a reply of her own.

Lisa
sorry, a customer just came in
19:18

Lisa
i’m working until 11, do you want to drop by after?
ryujin’s shift ended already if you’re worried about that
19:18

Lisa
jennie?
i hope everything is okay.
19:19

Jennie
 call me right now
 19:20

The default Samsung ringtone had never sounded better to Jennie’s ears. She let her phone ring for a few seconds, enough for Rowoon to shoot her an accusing glare. She didn’t take her eyes off his as she accepted the call and raised her phone to her ear, making the device visible to her date.

“Hello?”

“Jennie? Are you alright?”

Lisa’s agitated tone made her sound rather worried, and Jennie felt guilty about her last few text replies that didn’t give away much context.

“What was that? You need me to come right now?”

“Uh,” Lisa paused on the other end of the line, probably piecing the clues together. “Ah yes, immediately. The cat is sick.”

“Not the cat!” Jennie exclaimed dramatically, slapping her free hand on the table for effect. Lisa’s quiet laugh only made it harder to keep the act together. “Is there no one else that can take care of it?”

“Nope, you’re my only hope. I need you right here, right now.”

Jennie really, really tried her best to hold back her snort. Lisa was enjoying her part a little too much.

Rowoon was not stupid enough to stop her when Jennie stood on her feet and grabbed her purse. Whether or not he was offended by the pretty obvious excuse to leave was not Jennie’s greatest concern at that moment.

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way.”

“See you soon, Jennie.”

----

For her first attempt at a date after her breakup, Jennie thought it could have been worse. Naturally, it was rather unpleasant to be used as a pawn to spite her ex over a feud she didn’t even know had existed. But Rowoon could have spent a lot more time talking about Taeyang if Jennie had not escaped in time, and that would not have been an ideal conversation topic.

Lisa had been an absolute lifesaver that night. After the impromptu phone call, Lisa had reassured her that there was no need to actually come by her workplace as long as Jennie was safe from the terrible date. And Jennie knew that she had no reason to visit Lisa after her disastrous evening was over, but somehow she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to see the girl and tell her everything that was going through her mind. Lisa was such a good listener, and she didn’t give textbook advice or empty words of comfort when Jennie didn’t need them.

“You’ll have better luck next time,” was all that Lisa offered. Jennie really wanted to believe it.

The next time came sooner than Jennie imagined.

Her second date, also a guy, messaged her a week after her fiasco with Rowoon. He politely asked her if she was free to meet him in person during the weekend, and Jennie had replied that she was free on Saturday night after looking through his Instagram profile to refresh her mind about who exactly he was.

Kim Jongin was a really attractive man. He had neatly combed hair that sometimes fell gracefully over his pretty forehead, giving the mature man a rather innocent vibe. He was really soft spoken and had a cheerful laugh that melted Jennie right to the core.

The problem with Jongin was that he was—for lack of a better word—quite boring.

The man invited Jennie to dinner just like Rowoon and plenty of other guys had done before. Jennie never minded nice food, but she really would appreciate it if men could offer more than just a dinner. She wasn’t asking for much, but a flowing conversation was the bare minimum to determine whether or not she felt a connection.

Jongin was lovely, but frankly, Jennie had to initiate every single talk they had. She was perplexed by the fact that he had appeared confident over DMs, but his actual self was timid and reserved. She wondered if the person that messaged her was someone else entirely, perhaps a good friend that wanted him to go out more, his version of her Chaeyoung.

Jennie didn’t feel uncomfortable, just plain awkward. She liked to speak, but she also liked to receive responses that were longer than five words at best. Appearance wise, Jongin was extremely handsome. Teenager Jennie would have fallen in love with him at first sight. But adult Jennie was more than aware that looks meant nothing if she couldn’t feel something while they spent time together.

And to be completely transparent, Jongin didn’t seem to be that interested in her. He had not attempted to impress her at any point during their date. His compliments also felt very forced, almost as if he was doing it out of courtesy.

When he casually told her ‘your hair looks nice’, Jennie noted that he struggled to even look her in the eyes. It wasn’t because he was being shy, no… Jongin was desperate to hide his inexperience in flirting.

Kim Jongin was not interested in dating at all, Jennie found out at the end of the night. Or at least, he was not interested in dating women.

Jennie understood his situation perfectly, and for the first time that night, Jongin decided to speak sincerely about who he really wanted to be on a date with. Jennie simply listened to him as he spoke his heart out. She understood the frustration, she recalled the pain of going through the same story with different characters.

“When I was younger, I always felt lucky I was attracted to boys,” she had confessed at some point. It was a rather intimate thought to share, but she felt like Jongin needed to hear it. “I wasn’t only into boys, but I used to think it was enough to pretend I was. In my head, I wasn’t lying to myself nor anyone else, just being… selective. Kinda like loving both mint chocolate and vanilla ice cream, but only ever eating the vanilla because that’s what everyone found acceptable.”

The silly analogy made Jongin smile just slightly. “Did that work out?”

“Definitely not,” Jennie laughed. “Pretending I was straight did not stop me from liking girls, and it became very difficult to act as if I was not interested in them. Yeah, I could exclusively date boys and eat vanilla ice cream for the rest of my life, but that would mean that I’d have to give up on a whole other part of myself for the sake of making everyone happy. So, I just stopped doing it.”

“Even when it meant losing your loved ones?”

“If not being able to dictate how I should feel was all it took to lose them, then they were never my loved ones to begin with,” Jennie shrugged. “It wasn’t something for me to change, but rather for them to accept. ”

It was not everyone that Jennie cared about—just her parents. She had tried so hard to keep the image of a perfect girl in front of them, purely because they made her believe she would bring shame to the family if she did otherwise. But it turned out that Jennie felt more ashamed of pretending to be… someone she was not.

Jongin seemed pleased with her answer, leaning back on his chair and loosening the tie around his neck. He began to feel more relaxed, and Jennie finally found herself entertained, even if it wasn’t the ending that she had expected.

To conclude, Jennie’s second date was not totally a disaster, it just resulted to be a very platonic one. Jongin had no chance of becoming the love of her life, but Jennie had not unfollowed him from her socials and neither did he.

----

Lisa
was tonight any better?
22:42

Jennie
 yeah, you could say that
 22:44

Lisa
second date soon?
22:44

Jennie
 he’s not interested
 22:44

Lisa
but you said it was a better date??
22:45

Jennie
 he’s gay
 22:45

Lisa
oh
strike 2 then
22:45

Jennie
 still working?
 22:50

Lisa
nope
22:50

Lisa
come hang out at mine if you want?
22:51

Jennie
 on my way
 22:53

----

Lisa had the nerve to laugh at the retelling of her second date. Jennie had scoffed and insisted that she had no way of knowing that the man was gay, not when he had been nothing but charming over text. She didn’t even feel offended that Jongin used her to cover up another date he had with a guy the following week, instead she gladly cheered him on.

What Jennie found hurtful was the fact that it was her second consecutive failure. She didn’t necessarily have high hopes for these spontaneous dates, but she had not expected to have such little success in finding decent people to spend time with. It was obvious that Jongin was not bad company, but in the end, he wasn’t a good romantic date.

“Third time lucky,” Lisa had told her while Jennie slumped on the girl’s sofa with a defeated frown.

Or third strike and out, Jennie wanted to add, but she didn’t want to risk the possibility of her words becoming reality.

Her last date was with a girl, which made Jennie feel extra nervous.

Jennie had never been with a girl officially. She had her first, well, everything with a girl during her stay in France, and they had continued seeing each other with no intention of getting into a relationship. When she had returned to Seoul, she only had a few flings before she met Taeyang and settled for the next three years.

“Whoa, you’re stunning!”

Park Sooyoung was… tall. That was the first thing Jennie noticed when the girl stood up from her seat and leaned down to hug her warmly. And to be fair, Jennie should get used to being around taller girls given that her best friend and favourite fast-food employee were both giants.

“I could say the same for you,” Jennie replied shortly after she took a seat on the empty stool next to her date. “You’re… wow.”

Had Jennie always been so bad at flirting?

Sooyoung’s gentle giggle made her feel a little less embarrassed about her failed attempt at a compliment. Jennie followed with her awkward laugh, struggling to meet Sooyoung’s curious eyes.

Park Sooyoung was simply beautiful, inside and out.

When she had received the address of a bar as the location of their date, Jennie had felt a little sceptical. She had always been cautious about meeting new people in the presence of alcohol, and she might have felt a bit too paranoid before leaving. She sent Chaeyoung the address via text, email, voice note, and even wrote it down on a sticky note attached to the fridge to ensure her best friend had the place memorised in case she went missing. She had also printed out a screenshot of Sooyoung’s Instagram profile and scribbled ‘this is the last person I was seen with—in case the police asks’ at the back, ignoring her friend snickering in the background as she reminded her that Sooyoung was a friend of hers from a previous part-time job.

Better safe than sorry.

Surprisingly, Sooyoung took less than five minutes to grab the entirety of Jennie’s attention. The way she spoke was so captivating that Jennie would not have minded quietly admiring her for the rest of the evening. Sooyoung always made sure to pause and let Jennie contribute to the conversation (unlike date one), and if Jennie ran out of things to say, the girl would come up with a random topic very naturally (unlike date two).

Learning about Sooyoung’s life had also piqued Jennie’s interest. She was an emerging actress that spent her free time volunteering at animal shelters, and from time to time she liked to have a good drink to loosen up, hence the bar date.

Jennie had to stop herself from blushing profusely when Sooyoung’s fingers ‘accidentally’ brushed against her hand and remained in contact with her skin, lightly playing with Jennie’s index. The problem was that Jennie had to look down to avoid meeting Sooyoung’s eyes, and that meant that she had a clear view of the girl’s long legs that Jennie could only dream of having. The short purple dress was not leaving much to imagination.

“It’s the alcohol,” Jennie would lie when Sooyoung pointed out her reddening cheeks. It didn’t matter that the excuse was blatantly obvious because Sooyoung enjoyed seeing her flustered.

God, this woman knew how to play the game.

When Jennie was invited to dance, she declined as politely as she could.

Dancing meant being pressed up against the girl who exuded sex appeal, and that was probably not a good idea.

Except that Park Sooyoung did not accept rejection so easily.

She had, very respectfully, tugged Jennie towards the dance floor until Jennie stopped resisting and willingly followed her lead. Men had been easier to deal with because Jennie automatically held her guard up ten times higher based on her experience with disrespectful idiots, and she had never been wrong in doing so. But girls… girls made Jennie feel weak all over. Perhaps it was the fact that they could tell how Jennie felt without any words being exchanged.

And Jennie knew that she could not hide how much she was attracted to Sooyoung when the girl danced so sensually against her… with her, eventually. Oh, Jennie liked that more than she should have.

And when Sooyoung suggested to get out of there… how could Jennie say no?

Sooyoung had asked her if she could kiss her like a sweetheart, and Jennie sounded embarrassingly desperate when she said, “Yes, please.” It made Sooyoung smile into the kiss, and Jennie just wanted to regain her confident persona for just a second. To prove that she knew what she wanted just as much as Sooyoung did.

It turned out that her date lived just a few blocks away from the bar, and Jennie thought that walking her to her apartment would have been a great idea. That was until they ended up making out for most of the way, and Jennie realised that Sooyoung’s intentions did not exactly align with hers.

Fuck it, was Jennie’s first thought as she followed the girl up the stairs of her place. It had been quite some time since Jennie had actually enjoyed sex, and Sooyoung’s touches and kisses were an obvious giveaway of how good the girl was in bed.

But in the few moments that Jennie let her conscience take over, she started to doubt herself.

“I’m not going to see you after tonight, am I?”

Sooyoung laughed against her lips at the sudden question. “Depending on how it goes… we might meet some other nights too, who knows?”

She sounded so carefree and relaxed that Jennie struggled to tear herself away from her arms.

“I’m afraid the night ends here for me,” she let out hesitantly.

Sooyoung immediately pulled away and created some distance, concern filling her eyes. “Is something wrong? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No, no,” Jennie shook her head and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. Sooyoung was such a nice girl, and she made Jennie’s skin burn with her touch and her heart swoon with her laugh.

Jennie was having a really good time, and she would not have minded taking things further. But as much as she wanted to give in and be selfish for once, she knew that the morning after would have hurt twice as much.

“I’m… looking for something a little more serious.”

Jennie knew that getting involved with someone that had no plans to remain was going to bite her in the ass later on.

And just like Jennie had predicted, Sooyoung was an angel about it. She had even explained why she didn’t do relationships (at least, not yet), and Jennie could understand the worry over her career being harmed by her love life. It really wasn’t fair, but Sooyoung claimed it was what she signed up for.

Given the late hour, Sooyoung had generously offered her spare room for Jennie to spend the night if she wanted, but Jennie opted to return home and end the date on a good note.

Sooyoung had not hesitated when she paid for the taxi ride, and Jennie wished nothing more than having met the girl under different circumstances.

----

Jennie didn’t contact Lisa that night. Well, she had received a message hours prior asking if she would be coming over like she had done for her past two dates, but Jennie had been too occupied to check her phone until it was long past midnight. She made a mental note to reply, but that night Jennie only wanted to go home to her best friend.

“I thought you would have had other plans for the night,” Chaeyoung teased her as soon as Jennie plopped herself down beside her on the bed.

Chaeyoung had been lying down with her laptop resting on top of her stomach when Jennie walked in, clearly not planning to sleep early when she had to ensure that Jennie was in safe hands. As soon as her side was taken over by her friend, Chaeyoung closed her laptop and scooted over to make space for the both of them. Jennie simply got under the covers and stared at the ceiling, sighing heavily while Chaeyoung propped up her elbow and stared at her tired friend.

“No connection?”

“There was,” Jennie mumbled. “A physical one.”

“You slept with her?”

Jennie shook her head tiredly. “I don’t think it would have been a wise emotional investment.”

Sooyoung had been her nicest date, but Jennie did not see a possible relationship developing with the girl. Spending the night together would have just given her a taste of what she would never have, and that was something Jennie wanted to avoid at all costs. She had been there before, and it didn’t end well for her heart.

“Emotional investment?” Chaeyoung repeated with amusement. “Jennie, you can have sex just for the sake of it. If you were into her, it might have been a nice distraction.”

It was no surprise that Chaeyoung was telling her to enjoy the pleasures of life. It reminded Jennie of how they had met years ago, before Taeyang, before Jennie had found her feet back in Seoul. When she had returned from her studies abroad, Jennie had no one to turn to. She had cut all ties with her parents and only stayed in contact with her cousin and a couple of friends from high school, but she had to rebuild her life on her own. A new job, a barely decent one-bedroom flat, and absolutely no one to truly rely on.

Until she met Park Chaeyoung.

The funny thing was that Chaeyoung had not exactly been her friend at first. Jennie would head to the nearest convenience store for some quick shopping, and Chaeyoung had happened to work as a cashier there. She unknowingly found herself talking to the girl every time Chaeyoung checked out her items, and sometimes she would blurt out how tense she felt with her demanding job and her non-existent sentimental life. They had become very good… acquaintances? Jennie wasn’t really sure what to call it.

But when Chaeyoung jokingly suggested she could help her get laid to let some steam off, Jennie had taken the offer seriously.

They were together for a single, drunken night. It was so long ago that Jennie barely remembered it other than the ridiculous number of times that both of them burst out laughing in the middle. And even when they started to hang out very platonically later on, Jennie didn’t feel awkward about it. It had been the chaotic start of their undying friendship.

Times were different then. Jennie and Chaeyoung both knew it was not going to become anything more than a hook-up. But now, Jennie believed that one night of sex was not going to fully satisfy her. Spending the night with Sooyoung would not have made her feel any better about her lack of progress in dating.

“We kissed. We almost made it to her bedroom. I think she would have been good to me.”

“Oh, Sooyoung is great at sex.”

Jennie paused. “You slept with her?”

“We dated for a couple of months,” Chaeyoung admitted in a very nonchalant manner.

Jennie frowned. “You set me up with your ex?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Isn’t that against girl code or some shit?”

Chaeyoung shrugged. “What’s the issue with it? I wouldn’t have minded.”

Jennie smirked. “Would you mind if I dated Jisoo?”

Chaeyoung pinched Jennie’s side and made the girl squirm. “That’s different.”

“She’s your ex, too. What’s the issue, huh?”

Chaeyoung’s bottom lip jutted out to form an annoyed pout. She didn’t reply, but Jennie liked to prove a point.

“Oh, I see. Can’t get involved with an ex if you’re still in love with them, right?”

Jennie did not need to hear a confirmation to know she had hit the nail on the head. No matter how much her friend liked to deny it, it was obvious that Chaeyoung had found her match in Jisoo. Spending time apart was probably making her realise that too.

Speaking of the devil, the sharp ring of a notification resonated in the room, and the gaze of both girls landed on Chaeyoung’s lit phone screen.

“You unblocked her?”

“Just her profile, her messages are still muted!” Chaeyoung rushed to explain.

“And you have her Instagram notifications on?” Jennie gasped as Chaeyoung immediately grabbed her device and held it against her chest.

“I just forgot to turn them off, that’s all.”

It was a shitty excuse that neither girl believed. Jennie was sure that her friend wanted to be updated on what Jisoo was up to, even when she’ll never admit it.

Chaeyoung quietly unlocked her phone and pulled up Jisoo’s latest post, biting her lip as she looked at the close-up selfie her ex-girlfriend had recently uploaded.

Jennie peeked at the screen and hummed in approval. Jisoo was undeniably beautiful, and her pictures never failed to prove it. Jennie would know since her friend’s gallery had been filled with them for the past year.  “That’s one hell of a nice selfie.”

Chaeyoung immediately locked her phone and threw it to the foot of her bed, groaning in frustration. “She’s so annoying and so hot and I cannot stand her.”

Jennie had really tried to be patient with her best friend. She figured that with time, Chaeyoung would be able to sort things out without anyone’s help. But she heavily underestimated how much Chaeyoung was struggling with her breakup.

It had taken Jennie a few attempts to get words out of Chaeyoung. From past conversations, Jennie had begun to put all the clues together in order to find out what exactly made Chaeyoung break up with the girl she was so in love with.

Too bad Jennie was a shit detective and came up with nothing substantial on her own.

“She said she doesn’t see a future with me.”

When Chaeyoung revealed the actual reason, Jennie had pulled herself into a sitting position to look straight into her eyes.

It was absurd.

In what world would Jisoo not see a future with Chaeyoung?

And when Jennie asked her to elaborate, Chaeyoung started to tell her about the time she visited the hospital during Jisoo’s overnight shift and happened to hear a conversation her girlfriend had with a colleague. Chaeyoung emphasised that she heard the words loud and clear.

“It’s not going to last,” was what Jisoo had said.

Jennie believed her friend. Chaeyoung had no reason to make things up. But when she questioned Jisoo’s reaction to the breakup, Chaeyoung had claimed that Jisoo had acknowledged her words.

She admitted it. So why were they still chasing after each other?

Jennie even avoided bringing up what happened in the café, when she and Lisa returned from the sushi place and found the former couple scowling at each other while their faces were only a few inches apart. Jennie did not have the time to question whether they were about to make out or throw hands since Jisoo rushed out the place and Chaeyoung went completely silent for the rest of the night.

Perhaps Jennie was not experienced enough to figure it out. She had failed to predict the end of her own relationship. She had failed to see that the first girl she fell in love with did not reciprocate her feelings, even when it felt like it. Jennie knew nothing about love, it seemed.

All she could do that night was hold Chaeyoung tightly as she silently wondered when things would finally start to get better.

----

Chapter Text

“I say we hunt this bitch down.”

Jennie stopped writing and looked up at her friend with a tired look. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“She just can’t keep her mouth shut!” Nayeon pulled the chair from the desk in front of Jennie’s and sat down. She quickly scanned the classroom, double checking that anyone that didn’t leave for lunch was not close enough to hear them talk. “People keep talking about you because of what she’s spreading around.”

“Well, let them,” Jennie said simply, turning the page of her workbook.

“How could I? You’re my friend, I can’t let blatant lies circulate without doing anything to stop them.”

Jennie pressed her lips together, avoiding Nayeon’s gaze. They weren’t entirely lies, after all. But if she said anything at all, whether she denied or confirmed the rumours, she’d end up losing. Either herself or everyone else.

“I never said or done anything wrong. It’s not my fault she interpreted it like that.”

“I know, Jennie,” Nayeon said softly. “I’m always on your side.”

“And that’s all that matters to me.”

Dating again was not going very well, to put it nicely.

It had been over a month since Jennie began to try, and she was not having a good time.

After the three dates Chaeyoung had helped her set up, Jennie had let Yeri take over. Her cousin had felt offended that she had not been the first choice as Jennie’s wingwoman, but the betrayal had soon been forgotten when Yeri started to hunt for dates.

All of which were unsuccessful.

“I don’t even know where she found these people!” Jennie slumped in her usual reserved seat as Lisa listened without interrupting. With a few fries left on her plate, Jennie wiped her hands aggressively with some tissue as she continued to vent.

Jennie had finally made time to meet Lisa that afternoon after she had not been able to see her in person for a couple of weeks. It didn’t stop their regular contact as they frequently exchanged phone calls and texts, but the lack of face-to-face interactions was starting to weigh heavily on Jennie. Usually, Lisa was always updated on her failed dates, and it turned out that she offered excellent moral support after a shit day. 

And Jennie just had a shit day, so she needed Lisa more than anyone.

After her boss kindly added her to a meeting with a client she had never met before, Jennie was forced to leave work an hour later than she was supposed to. She imagined that being considered an important designer to consult was flattering, if it wasn’t for the fact that she was pretty much invisible in that meeting, making her presence rather pointless.

People loved to waste her time.

“I said that I want a serious relationship, but the man from last week was already talking about marriage and telling me how good I’d look while pregnant! Who says that on the first date?”

She had no idea about what criteria Yeri used to set her up with these recent dates, but there had not been a single person that Jennie liked enough to see again.

“This other guy tried to kiss me when I was leaving, can you believe he thought there was going to be a second date? After I intentionally left halfway through, what exactly was he thinking?”

Lisa’s jaw visibly clenched. “Jennie, remember that all these people are strangers at the end of the day. They should never overstep your boundaries. Be careful, yeah?”

“Thanks for your concern, but I always text you right after meeting them, don’t I?”

Jennie was thankful that Lisa always checked up on her during these god-awful nights. No matter how disappointed she felt at the end of her dates, a message from Lisa would always bring her mood back up. Even when she didn’t have to, Lisa consistently reassured her that a failed date was not the end of the world.

“Hmm. One time you didn’t, though.”

Jennie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but as soon as she figured out what occasion Lisa was referring to, she unwillingly started to blush.

Park Sooyoung, of course. Lisa had not heard about Jennie’s only pleasant date. Instead, she received a short message the following day stating that the date didn’t end well like usual. It had not been a lie, but Jennie gave nothing away.

“That was different.”

Other than the fact that Jennie had actually enjoyed her time with Sooyoung (and kissed her), it had also been the only date Jennie had with a girl. Well, Yeri had set her up with an older woman too, but she ended up cancelling and never rescheduling, so Jennie didn’t bother.

“How so?”

“We kissed, and almost slept together.”

“Oh.” Jennie’s blunt response may have caused Lisa to lose her train of thought. She didn’t mean for the answer to come out like that, but she smiled after seeing Lisa trying to keep her cool. “Well. Why wasn’t there a second date?”

“She wasn’t in it for the long run.”

“She?” Lisa’s eyes grew wide in surprise. “Like, a woman?”

Jennie raised an eyebrow at the shock in her voice. “Yes? Is that a problem?”

“No, no! Absolutely not a problem.” Lisa was extremely quick to clarify. She rubbed the back of her neck and laughed nervously. “I just didn’t know, that is all.”

“Right.” Jennie found Lisa’s reaction very weird, but she didn’t question it. She never actually mentioned that her dates included both men and women, after all. That might have been why Lisa sounded so astounded. “Well, now you know.”

“Yeah.” Lisa started to tap her fingers on the table, looking straight down at her hands. After a moment of silence, she looked back up to meet Jennie’s expectant gaze.

“Did you… have you been in a relationship before? With a girl, I mean.” Lisa’s question came out so tentatively that Jennie struggled to recognise her usual voice.

“Uh, I don’t think it counted as a relationship, but I have been with one before, yes.”

Again, it was weird for Lisa to ask, but Jennie did not have anything to hide. Well, she didn’t include her hook-up with Chaeyoung. It would have felt weird to bring it up.

Lisa suddenly stared at her like she wanted to know everything. “Yeah? Was she like Taeyang?”

Jennie let out a genuine laugh. “No, not at all. It didn’t even last that long, whatever it was we had.”

It had not been a relationship, but it was a special stage of Jennie’s life. Back when Jennie would not even dare to hold hands with a girl, a certain goddess-like person barged through her walls and made her feel like she was on top of the world.

And then left her to the free fall.

“Old high school sweetheart?”

“Just a girl I met in Paris, nothing special.”

Jennie must have done a good job in making it seem like a boring topic since Lisa dropped the subject shortly after. It wasn’t like Jennie didn’t want to answer her questions, but she knew that as soon as the name Minatozaki Sana slipped past her lips, she would be in trouble. Her name would surely ring a bell since the last time Jennie checked, Sana was on the cover of Vogue.

It was a conversation for another day.

Lisa became a little less talkative afterwards. Maybe she had enough of hearing about Jennie’s dating life, which would not be surprising since it was pretty much the centre of all their recent conversations. In Jennie’s defence, Lisa never tried to change the topic. Jennie thought it meant that she didn’t mind, but she also didn’t want to drag it any longer if Lisa was fed up with it.

Jennie’s worries were interrupted when Lisa started to pack up her things and head to the back of the shop to change out of her uniform. When she glanced at the wall clock, Jennie noticed that there were at least six hours left until closing time.

“Is your shift over already?”

“Yeah,” Lisa called out. “Ryujin is working the evening shift today.”

Jennie nodded in response, glad that Lisa couldn’t see her disappointed expression. She didn’t really look forward to going home that early, but she’d take an empty house over the pink-haired bitchy manager any day. With some luck, she’ll be able to catch the bus and not cross paths with the girl. “Don’t you have to wait until she arrives?”

“Yeah, she said she’s almost here.”

Well, shit. Jennie's plan to escape without leaving a trace was crushed.

“Do you have any dates for tonight?” Lisa questioned suddenly.

“None,” Jennie sighed contently. “I’m just so tired of people.”

“Well, that’s because you keep trying to be around people you don’t know.”

“That’s how I’m gonna find the love of my life though,” Jennie rebutted with sarcasm.

Lisa chuckled as she exited the staff area in her casual clothing. She halted in front of the counter and leaned back against it, shoving both hands in her jacket pockets. “Right, and I will never stop you from getting to them. But, how about we have some fun tonight? Just the two of us.”

Jennie’s eyebrows shot up in question.

“Don’t look at me like that, you know what I mean. Instead of stressing about impressing dates, you can just hang out with me and, well, relax,” Lisa explained with an amused eye roll at Jennie’s teasing grin. “Besides, I’m kinda tired of having to fight random strangers for time in your schedule.”

“What can I say? I’m a woman in high demand.”

“I’m very aware. So? Will you grant me the honour of spending time with you?”

“You’re still not tired of having me around?”

“Oh no, I always welcome regular customers.”

Jennie snorted. “As if you had any.”

“Oh, I’m sure I do. They’re just not as memorable.”

“And I am?”

“Being a pain in the ass is a form of being memorable, yes.”

Lisa didn’t even try to hide her playful laugh as Jennie stood up to slap her shoulder repeatedly.

----

“Is this your idea of fun?”

Given that it was a weekday, Jennie expected the cinema to be semi-empty. That was the primary reason she accepted Lisa’s offer to watch a movie on the big screen, foolishly believing that it would give her some peace and quiet.

Of course, almost every seat was occupied for the screening they chose.

“Who is this massive dude in front of us?” Jennie whisper-yelled as soon as they sat down on their assigned seats. It was just her luck to have a much taller guy sitting right in front of her. “Doesn’t he know that short—I mean, average height people—have to suffer enough?”

Lisa wordlessly held a handful of popcorn in front of Jennie’s face as the lights dimmed and the… adverts and trailers started playing. Typical.

Jennie chewed on her popcorn with a grumpy frown. She crossed her legs and glanced at Lisa, who seemed to be enjoying her extra-sweet drink. When Lisa felt eyes on her, she turned and smiled innocently. “Do you want to switch seats?”

Sighing, Jennie simply shook her head. She wasn’t really interested in the animation movie Lisa had chosen, even when the girl had asked her three times whether she had other preferences. Truthfully, Jennie just didn’t care. She only wanted to make Lisa happy since her eyes visibly lit up at the movie poster outside the cinema.

It made sense from Jennie’s perspective. Making her friends happy brought her happiness in return.

The film was a bit slow, and Jennie did not pay attention for more than a few minutes. As she melted in the surprisingly comfy cinema seat, all the hours of work she had that day started to catch up with her. Getting on a crowded train early in the morning, working her ass off at the studio while at the same time supervising her intern, attending that stupid meeting she had no input in—and the thought of having to probably repeat it all over again the following day. A girl deserved a break sometimes.

Jennie really tried to keep herself awake for Lisa’s sake, but as soon as the hazy flashbacks with nostalgic music started to play, Jennie’s eyelids started to feel really heavy. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds… or at least, it felt like a few seconds. Her upper body must have been slowly slumping forward since Lisa moved her arm across the back of her seat and gently guided her to lean backwards. The problem was that the seat was lacking a headrest, so in her half-conscious state, Jennie was left with no choice but to drop her head on Lisa’s shoulder.

Jennie had already been dozing off, but Lisa’s comfortable shoulder was enough to make her fall asleep in no time.

----

“What was your favourite part of the movie?”

Alright, maybe the nap had lasted a little longer than Jennie had planned. It was not her fault that she ended up in such a cosy position.

Lisa appeared to be thoroughly enjoying making fun of her for missing the whole movie.

“I loved when The End came up on the screen,” Jennie retorted, not missing Lisa’s snicker.

They had spent a little less than two hours at the cinema, meaning that the sun was already starting to set by the time they had exited the place. Jennie was not entirely sure what the next plans were given that Lisa was in charge of their outing.

“Are you hungry?” Lisa questioned as she strolled happily alongside her, clearly in a very good mood. Jennie suppressed a small smile at the sight. She really liked how carefree Lisa actually was outside that depressing fast-food shop.

“I don’t know, what are you offering?” Jennie pulled out her phone from her bag and started looking up good restaurants near their current location. She had never actually been to that area of Seoul to dine out, but Lisa seemed rather confident in leading them around. “Apparently there’s a nice place nearby. How do you feel about BBQ?”

Jennie continued scrolling through her search results, not satisfied with most of the food places. She supposed that she owed Lisa a fancy dinner since she had been kind enough to let her sleep on her shoulder for more than an hour. Even worse, Lisa’s arm had been trapped behind her when she fell asleep, and Jennie was pretty sure the girl didn’t move it in fear of waking her up. Being so considerate probably left Lisa with a numb arm. Jennie had to make it up to her in one way or the other.

“Put that thing away, I already chose where we’re going.”

“Alright, got it.” Hearing the confidence in Lisa’s voice, Jennie finally pocketed her phone and followed her lead. “Are you sure this is the right direction?”

Jennie trusted Lisa, but the isolated street they were walking through did give her some doubts. There were residential buildings running along both sides of the one-way road, visibly in poor conditions. Although some lit rooms provided faint lighting through the windows, the street lacked decent streetlamps to illuminate the way. The growing darkness was not helping Jennie’s paranoia as she flinched at every suspicious noise reaching her ears.

Lisa was clearly more comfortable as she continued walking like she was crossing a flower field.

A sudden rustling of leaves made Jennie jump forward and grab Lisa’s jacket sleeve tightly. Her arm was visibly shaking as she took a hesitant look behind her, but she sighed in relief when she noticed a black cat squeezing past a few bushes to enter someone’s front garden.

“Are you that scared of cats?” she heard Lisa murmur softly.

Jennie looked down at the hand that was tightly gripping Lisa’s wrist. She pulled away with a blush. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m not scared of cats,” Jennie clarified. She still felt the need to look behind her as the strange noises kept emerging from thin air. “This place is just… unsettling.”

The tremor in her voice must have stopped Lisa from making a teasing comment. Jennie would have loved to joke about it, but the thought of walking through unfamiliar places in the dark was making her tense.

And maybe when Lisa wordlessly held her hand and spoke about her love for cats as a way to distract her, Jennie began to forget about everything else to focus on Lisa’s warm hold and gentle voice instead.

----

The restaurant Lisa picked did not exactly look like a restaurant. It was a half ground level, half underground place with a paper sign outside being the only indication of it selling food. Jennie wouldn’t have even spotted it if she had not been following Lisa along.

Although she felt the urge to criticise the dodgy-looking food place, Jennie had decided to have faith in Lisa’s choices. After all, she had never been disappointed by the girl. Some grey curtains covered the entrance, but Lisa casually made her way through. Jennie would have stopped outside and hesitated if it wasn’t for Lisa tugging her hand and leading her inside.

The interior was surprisingly… neat?

There were five round tables in total, excluding the random desk with audio cassettes and a dusty, old vinyl player on top. Jennie couldn’t see a front counter or any employees to greet them as they walked in. She did notice a door at the end of the place, most likely leading to the actual kitchen.

The tiled floor had some cracks, and the walls were discoloured, but the wonderful smell filling the air was enough to make those details seem insignificant.

A cheerful voice suddenly called out Lisa’s name, and as Jennie curiously glanced towards the back door once again, she was taken aback by the familiar face of the man that poked his head out of the kitchen and waved enthusiastically.

Isn’t that…?

Lisa replied to the man and Jennie didn’t understand a single word. It didn’t take much to figure out that they were both from Thailand, and consequently, Jennie probably found herself in a Thai restaurant.

“You remember him?” Lisa nudged her shoulder lightly with a knowing smile.

Jennie simply nodded in confirmation. Her memory was not that bad. “He’s the guy in the picture.”

Lisa hummed. “Also known as BamBam around here.”

Jennie didn’t know what to say as Lisa guided them towards an empty table. Seeing her reaction, Lisa crossed her arms and leaned a little closer.

“What? Does this place not compete with your date nights?”

Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Were you planning to compete?”

“Not at all,” Lisa shrugged. “Just wondering if your night is going as terribly as your recent dates. The intention was to give you a break, after all.”

Lisa did not really have to try hard to make her forget about her miserable dating life, but Jennie still found it very sweet that she had made time on her evening off to take her out and distract her for a while. It was working quite well, if she was being honest.

“My usual dates are dull, Lisa.” Jennie smiled. “You’re not exactly dull.”

It was true. Jennie had never felt like spending time with Lisa was boring, or worse, a chore. Sometimes, she felt like she had to drag herself to attend dates until the very end even when they were a complete waste of her time. Lisa never made her feel like that.

“Right, fast food and shitty apartments are your ideal form of entertainment?”

“Seems like it.”

Lisa appeared to accept her answer as she quietly nodded to herself.

Jennie didn’t anticipate for a second that Lisa’s friend would stroll out of the kitchen with at least three buttons of his shirt undone. He held up a tray with two steaming bowls in one hand and two chilled beers on the other. For reasons Jennie didn’t dare to question, the guy was wearing sunglasses indoors rather confidently.

“Here you go my dear friend,” he commented as he placed one of the bowls and a beer in front of Lisa.

Jennie calmly waited as he did the same with her. But then, as if it was the most natural position for him, he rested his hand on the top of the table and leaned onto it, the now empty tray held under his other arm. He tilted his head downwards just slightly, enough for his eyes to peek above the dark sunglasses and meet Jennie’s confused gaze.

“And here’s a delicious meal for you, my dear friend’s beautiful guest. Although, I am available as a main course if you ever need a change from the menu.”

Before Jennie even got to reply, Lisa swatted his arm off the table, making the guy lose his balance just for a second. “Thanks, BamBam. You can leave now.”

The guy, BamBam, rubbed his hands on his short black apron while he directed a seemingly look of disgust towards Lisa. “Fine, fine, I’ll leave you alone.”

As he walked back to the kitchen, neither girl missed his mumbled words.

“Always keeping the pretty girls to yourself, Manoban.”

Jennie looked down to hide her smile of amusement. Normally, she would have been irritated at a guy blatantly flirting with her out of the blue, but she was too preoccupied with Lisa’s annoyed frown that looked a bit too adorable to be taken seriously.

“Sorry about that,” she sighed. “He’s a great guy, honestly. Just very annoying at times.”

“It’s fine, I get it. It’s not the first time it happens.”

“No, no, it’s not fine.” Lisa pushed her hair back in slight frustration. “He doesn’t do that kind of stuff, I promise. It’s just… me. He does it to tease me—or well, piss me off—just to get a reaction out of it. So, I’m sorry if he made you uncomfortable or anything, I’ll speak to him—”

“Lisa,” Jennie called softly. She reached out to hold the other girl’s hand and bring it back on the table. It was obvious that Lisa was getting worked up as her breathing started to become uneven. “It’s cool, I understand. I’m not bothered.”

“Okay.” Lisa nodded carefully. “It’s just… the people you’ve been meeting haven’t always been nice to you, so… I don’t want you to think it’s fine when it’s not. People shouldn’t do that.”

“I know, believe me.” Jennie reassured her. “But I also trust you as a judge of character. If he’s one of your closest friends, I don’t think he’ll turn out to be a dick.”

Touched by Jennie's words, Lisa managed a tiny upturn of her lips.

“Well, if you find me to be such a reliable judge of character, why did Ryujin and Jisoo turn into your proclaimed enemies?

The immediate frown that appeared on Jennie’s face turned Lisa's smile into an amused laugh.

“My problems with those two are… personal.”

It was something that Jennie would never admit out loud, but Jisoo was not a bad person. The only reason Jennie held a grudge against the girl was her undying loyalty to Chaeyoung, but outside of her best friend’s love life, Jisoo was a decent human being. As for Ryujin… she had avoided her like the plague after they met, so it would not have been fair to make a conclusion like that.

So, all in all, Lisa’s judgement of character definitely meant something.

As the rest of the evening played out, Jennie was surprised to see a few other customers walk into the place. She had not expected the hidden restaurant to be so popular, but after seeing Lisa’s interactions with each person that walked in, Jennie started to realise why.

The food itself was delightful. Jennie could not pronounce the name of the dish, nor tell what exactly it consisted of, but it left her stomach satisfied. And while she may not understand the unusual setting of the restaurant, she definitely appreciated the comfy atmosphere.

Even Lisa’s friend not-so-quietly humming along to the faint music was pleasant. The cassette player that Jennie noticed earlier seemed to be still functioning well. Although she was initially expecting Thai music, BamBam’s cassette collection consisted mostly of English songs from the 80s. Jennie wasn’t too familiar with all the artists she heard, but she could recognise enough to appreciate the guy’s taste in music.

However, what was really making the place gradually come to life were the people around her. Lisa appeared to know each person that made their way into the Thai restaurant. She greeted them with a smile, sometimes a wave and a few pleasantries. BamBam also seemed to be familiar with pretty much everyone with the exception of Jennie herself. It didn’t take long to realise that the place held a greater sentimental value to Lisa than Jennie imagined. The guests mostly spoke Thai, making Jennie clueless about any conversations taking place around her, but Lisa always made sure to make her feel included in one way or another.

“I’m sorry if this is bothering you. I usually come here on weekends. I didn’t know there would be so many people tonight,” Lisa mumbled quietly once she finished greeting yet another acquaintance.

Considering the limited number of tables, it seemed like the new guests found no issue in joining already occupied tables and being welcomed with familiarity.

Jennie smiled warmly. “I don’t mind, really. It’s nice to see.”

“See what?”

“Just… you being around people that make you happy,” Jennie shrugged. “I don't think that I’ve seen you like this before.”

Jennie could not help but notice the subtle changes in Lisa’s demeanour. Her eyes seemed brighter, her smile came naturally and more often, her voice sounded so cheerful. Lisa was definitely glowing, and the mere sight of her like that made Jennie’s heart feel warmer.

“I don’t come here that often, believe it or not. But I kind of feel at home when I do.” Lisa took a quick glance around the (now quite busy) restaurant, before returning her content gaze to Jennie. “It’s different, you know? When I get to my empty apartment every night, the day is over straight away. I don’t really have anyone asking about my day and stuff. So, it makes me happy to have people that care about how I’m doing here. Might be a bit trivial, but it gives me a sense of belonging.”

Do you feel happy around me? Jennie suddenly wanted to ask. What Lisa longed for could be given so easily, and Jennie would not mind in the slightest filling the emptiness Lisa felt. Living alone must have been hard for someone whose loving family was located in an entirely different country.

Jennie stopped having a complete family years ago. But she had Chaeyoung, Yeri, and a couple other people that looked out for her. And for a few years, she also had Taeyang. In some way, she never felt truly alone even when her parents were erased from her life. For Lisa though, it must have been a different story.

So, it wasn’t a surprise that Lisa was so fond of a place that was filled with people that comforted her.

"Your parents in Thailand also keep in touch with you regularly, right?" Jennie questioned, remembering how fondly Lisa spoke about her mother in previous conversations.

Suddenly, Lisa’s eyes lost all their spark. Jennie almost retracted her question in fear of having hit a sensitive spot, but Lisa recovered shortly after.

“They do. But it’s different. They… uhm, don’t really know what’s going on with my life.”

“What do you mean?”

Lisa put her spoon down on the table and wiped her mouth with a tissue, looking back at Jennie nervously.

“I was awarded a scholarship to study here. It was too big of an opportunity to ignore, so my parents supported me. But when I finished high school, I had to beg my parents to let me stay in Korea and study Photography instead of moving back to Thailand. I told them I had a plan and everything. Even when they had their doubts, they trusted me,” she explained. “And all I could repay them with was… failure.”

“Lisa…”

“I never got my chance to shine, but my parents think I did. They believe I’m working for some mainstream news company. Every time they call, I put up this happy act so that they don’t get worried. I just didn’t want them to realise I’m a total disappointment.”

It was the first time Jennie heard Lisa be truly upset with her situation. Usually, she’d have a resigned tone, as if she had already accepted everything, but now there was a clear sense of frustration in her words.

“I don’t know your parents, but from the way you spoke about them in the past, I’m certain they’d never treat you like a failure.” Jennie pushed her hand forward on the table, touching Lisa’s fingers. “You’re truly a wonderful person. And you’re most definitely not a disappointment. ”

The honesty in Lisa’s voice was heart-warming when she said, “You don’t make me feel like one.”

And as Lisa continued to speak, Jennie found herself wondering if there was anything she could do to reignite Lisa’s confidence in herself that she seemed to have lost throughout the years. She felt like she had not done much of a good job lately since her dating life had taken over. And yet, no matter how much baggage Jennie unloaded in their conversations, Lisa simply listened and made her feel like… she wasn’t a disappointment either.

----

They didn’t immediately leave when they finished dinner. Lisa piled the bowls and tidied up their table, doing it with such smoothness that fully showcased her experience from her day job. She didn’t even consider Jennie’s offer to help. It seemed like it was some sort of routine from whenever Lisa visited the place. Jennie waited seated as she watched Lisa stand up with all of their dishes balanced on her arms and excuse herself, making her way to the back of the restaurant and entering the kitchen. The “BamBam’s kitchen – NO ENTRY >:(“ sign probably did not apply to her.

Jennie felt a bit awkward being left alone in a place where she clearly did not belong. Not for malicious reasons, but simply because the people around her were very aware she was not part of this little community they had. Even though her gaze was fixed either on her table or the wall beside her, she could feel multiple pairs of eyes staring at her from time to time, most likely curious about who she was. Jennie thought she could ignore them until Lisa returned, but to her great surprise, a girl with neat bangs and a bright smile took a seat right across from her, resting her hands on top of the table with her fingers interlocked.

“Hello,” she greeted cheerfully in Korean. Jennie tried to appear relaxed, but her shoulders tensed slightly at the presence of a stranger.

“Hey,” she responded, her tone making it almost sound like a question.

Jennie had seen her enter the place with another girl with bright blonde hair. The two had quietly smiled and waved at Lisa at the time, but Jennie merely glanced at them for a brief moment. She had not put much thought into the looks of wonder that both girls sported upon seeing her, but clearly, they meant more than what she initially assumed. Jennie could not turn her head to confirm, but she was pretty sure that the other girl was also observing her from afar.

“Who exactly are you?”

“I beg your pardon?” Jennie raised an eyebrow at the question. Was it normal around here to be so openly inquisitive?

The girl smiled sweetly and brought her hands up, resting her chin on them. “You’re not Thai. You’re a Korean girl.”

“That’s correct.”

“And you’re not Jisoo.”

“I am most certainly not,” Jennie almost scoffed at the insinuation.

“Then, who are you?”

Jennie crossed her arms defensively. “I’m not obliged to answer that, am I?”

“Obliged…?” the girl tilted her head in confusion. “I’m just asking a question.”

“And who is asking, exactly?”

“Lisa’s very good friend!”

Right. Jennie was not entirely confident in answering. She figured that the girl knew Lisa in one way or the other, but Jennie could not tell what exactly she wanted from her. How was she supposed to introduce herself?

“I’m also her friend,” she shrugged at last. She was hoping that the girl would leave her alone after that, but her plans seemed to differ.

“From where? Work? You look a bit too high-class for that.”

Jennie parted her lips. Was that a compliment or an insult?

A weird feeling in her stomach made her hesitate in formulating a response. Jennie felt anxious at the prospect of being interrogated by one of Lisa’s close friends when she wasn’t even sure about what Lisa considered her as. Her guess was that the strange girl was also looking for that same answer. 

“Actually, I did meet her while she worked,” she started earnestly. There wasn’t much to hide other than her boyfriend breaking up with her and her initial bitchy attitude. “Well, I don’t work with her. I just walked in and… we met like that. Then we just became friends, I guess.”

It didn’t feel very right to summarise their little journey in such simple words, but then again, Jennie didn’t know a thing about who she was giving that information to. The girl just nodded along to her words, seemingly accepting her answer.

“I see! Nice, nice. So, you guys started going out recently then?”

“Wait, what?”

In the little time Jennie had to process the (very wrong) assumption that had been made, Lisa stepped out of the kitchen. Once she registered that Jennie had company, she rushed back to their table to intervene. Jennie also noticed how Lisa’s face started to turn slightly pale, and her own face must have been a contrast due to how warm her cheeks felt.

“Minnie!” she called out almost too hurriedly. Jennie assumed that Lisa already had an idea of what her friend had been up to. She walked up behind the girl, Minnie, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “What are you doing?”

Jennie met Lisa’s worried eyes and gave her a quick smile. Lisa also briefly glanced past Jennie, presumably at the other girl that had been sitting behind her and watching them.

Minnie had turned her head and looked up at the taller girl standing beside her, narrowing her eyes just a little. “What am I doing? Lalisa, come on, don’t be silly.”

Lisa let out a small sigh of annoyance. “Didn’t you come with Sorn?”

“Yes, I did. She’s right over there.” Minnie pointed at the table that she had been occupying during the evening, ignoring Lisa’s eye roll at the missed signal. “But I was just, you know, getting to know—”

Jennie sat with her back straight as Minnie returned to look at her curiously. “I never got your name, did I?”

Instinctively, Jennie looked back at Lisa with uncertainty in her eyes. Considering that Lisa didn’t appear to be particularly concerned about Minnie, Jennie didn’t think there was any harm in being cooperative. She mentioned it before—she trusted Lisa’s judgement of character.

“It’s Jennie.”

The girl smiled brightly, and Jennie couldn’t pretend to be annoyed anymore.

It didn’t take long for Lisa to drag Minnie away from their table after that. Although Jennie did find her a little weird at first, she still waved at Minnie with a kind smile as Lisa escorted the girl back to her own table. Jennie heard hints of a hushed conversation. But of course, Lisa returned before Jennie could even think about eavesdropping.

Lisa was weirdly tense. And red. Not angry red, she was just blushing deeply after whatever teasing happened with her two friends. Jennie would have laughed if the blushing didn’t remind her of the small comment Minnie had made before Lisa intervened.

Did she and Lisa look like they were together? It wasn’t just Minnie. BamBam implied the same thing after his failed attempt at flirting. That, or Lisa regularly brought dates with her. It wasn’t exactly a nice thought, but it was a possibility. And yet, given that Lisa seemed to hold that place very close to her heart, Jennie doubted that was the case.

But then, why would Lisa bring her?

----

Jennie refused to let Lisa take the train, or the bus or—her worst suggestion—walk home.

“It’s not safe at night, trust me.”

It was just out of the question. Public transport was generally reliable during the day, but Jennie knew better as a woman than to make use of it during the night. In times like these, Jennie really wished she could have passed her driving test.

Lisa was hesitant in accepting a taxi ride, even after Jennie assured her that she had it covered. When the driver pulled up in front of the restaurant, Jennie almost pushed Lisa inside the vehicle before she closed the door shut and gave the middle-aged driver Lisa’s address followed by her own.

It was nice to take care of Lisa for once, especially after the girl had spent her whole evening taking care of her.

Lisa was weirdly quiet, looking out of the window aimlessly with her elbow up. Jennie wasn’t sure if talking would have been welcomed, but she also didn’t want to ignore Lisa throughout the ride.

“Do you have anything planned for next week?” Jennie asked quietly after some deliberation.

Lisa didn’t move, but she hummed as if she was trying to remember her work schedule.

“I have Friday off. And Saturday afternoon.”

Jennie nodded in acknowledgment. Her own schedule was the same each week, and her weekend was free with the exception of some work she had to take home.

“Why?” Lisa then added, finally facing her with interest. “Did you have something in mind?”

“Hmm,” Jennie crossed her legs and leaned back on her seat. “I need to start looking for an apartment.”

“Urgently?”

Jennie laughed. “No, not really, but I kinda have to move out. Chaeyoung’s spare room has been great, but I need more space for work.”

The tiny coffee table in their living room was definitely not ideal for Jennie’s large design prints, and while Chaeyoung offered her own unused desk, it couldn’t be moved to any other room in the house due to its size. And, well, Jennie was not going to bother her best friend at two in the morning for the desk in her bedroom.

Lisa eventually agreed to help her look around for an apartment, but something started to feel off about her. It wasn’t necessarily concerning, but Jennie couldn’t place her finger on what had changed.

The taxi had made its first stop at Lisa’s address, as per Jennie’s directions. The car parked right in front of the fast-food place, which had already closed for the night. Jennie asked the driver to wait for a couple of minutes as Lisa undid her seatbelt and stepped out. She wanted to end the night on a good note, and maybe Lisa did not feel comfortable talking with a stranger in the vehicle. Jennie hoped that was the only reason.

Lisa stood outside with her hands shoved inside her jacket pockets. Jennie approached her slowly, taking note of how the girl stared down at the ground. Gently, she wrapped her fingers around Lisa’s elbow and tugged slightly, bringing her attention back.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Lisa sighed tiredly. “I guess this is where we part ways.”

Jennie nodded. She could tell that something was still on Lisa’s mind. Something that she clearly didn’t want to share out loud.

“Okay,” Jennie let her arm fall to her side. “Get home safely. And...”

Being considerate of the taxi driver still waiting, Jennie tried to maintain the thoughts in her head as brief as possible. It was surprisingly hard not to blurt out everything she wanted to say.

“Thank you for today,” she started off.

It was too simple. Jennie could not fit all the other things that she wanted to tell Lisa in one sentence. Thank you for spending time with me. Thank you for letting me sleep next to you at the expense of your shoulder aching. Thank you for trusting me with the place that means the world to you.

“Yeah, no problem.”

Jennie definitely didn’t like leaving it there. She contemplated going straight home and letting sleep take care of dissolving the awkwardness, but then she remembered that she could sort it out herself. Jennie knew how to communicate with her friends without having to say anything, so why would Lisa be an exception?

A small smile formed on Jennie’s lips. She spread her arms with an expectant gaze. “Can I give you a hug, if that's okay?”

When Lisa looked her in the eyes, Jennie could see the slight surprise. It was understandable – they never really hugged before, although it didn’t feel like a big deal to Jennie. Hugging a friend shouldn’t have felt like a big deal.

“Oh.”

The hesitation slowly started to fade as Lisa pulled her hands out of her pockets and took a step closer. Jennie didn’t really wait. As soon as Lisa was within reach, she leaned forward and wrapped both arms around the taller girl. She felt Lisa freeze, but her arms naturally came around her waist shortly after.

“I haven’t felt so at peace with myself in a long while. Thank you, Lisa." She paused, then added, "I’m so glad to have met you.”

The admission came out rather easily, whispered in private just for Lisa and her to know.

And when Lisa held onto her a little tighter, sighing and calling her name with uncertainty, Jennie really wished she could have read Lisa’s mind.

Lisa never finished her sentence, covering it up with a mere “it’s nothing” and pulling away.

Jennie couldn’t stop her when she turned around to leave, not when she felt like she had run out of time to do anything about it. Her taxi was still waiting when she returned, silently driving out of Lisa’s area to take her home.

Immersed in the quiet drive, with dark surroundings and streetlights making her eyes feel heavy, Jennie finally had time to reflect on what was causing the soft, comforting warmth in her chest. Lisa had looked out for her the entire evening. She took her to the cinema and let her rest, held her hand on the way to the restaurant to make her feel safe, and entertained her throughout the whole night.

Lisa said it herself – she wasn’t trying to compete with her dates. But if that was the case, why couldn’t Jennie stop thinking that Lisa had won against everyone else?

----

Chapter Text

“I’m not... like you.”

Sana sighed deeply and leaned back. “We’re in a fucking attic, Jennie.”

“And?”

Shifting slightly closer, Sana placed her arm on the back of the old couch and raised her eyebrow at Jennie’s reddening cheeks.

“You can’t even be honest with yourself when it’s just me?” She captured a lock of dark brown hair and twirled it around her finger. “There’s no one here. No one to tell you what to feel. No one to tell you who to love and how to love them. And even then, you’re going to let them win?”

Jennie let out a dry laugh. “And what else can I do? Even when I acted the way they wanted, I still messed up. And now I just… I just can’t.”

“You can’t? Even when you want to?”

“I want to. I want it so badly. But I can’t… I’m not...” Jennie bit her lip hard and shook her head repeatedly. She could feel tears of frustration building up.

The lines were starting to blur. All this time, Jennie never had to lie. The claims people threw around about her were unfounded. Locking away that part of herself had always given her peace of mind, knowing there wasn’t anything they could find to prove it even existed.

But if she crossed that line tonight, there was no going back. She’d give all those people what they were dying to prove true.

“It’s okay darling, do whatever feels right to you,” Sana said soothingly.

Sana’s thumb drew slow circles on her exposed collarbone, and her fingers gently rubbed the back of her shoulder. Jennie’s breath hitched, and suddenly all she was aware of was Sana’s touch. All she could hear was Sana’s sweet voice whispering reassuring words. All she could focus on were Sana’s pink lips.

It was so, so unfair. They were right in front of her. So fucking tempting. The kind of temptation Jennie avoided her entire life. But in that moment, Jennie wanted nothing more than to crash her lips onto Sana’s inviting mouth.

So that’s exactly what she did.

Before she knew it, Jennie was pushing herself on top of the other girl, kissing her like it was the last time she’d have the courage to do it.

Apartment hunting was not easy.

Jennie had very quickly come to that realisation as soon as she began her search for a new place. Years ago, between her arrival in Seoul and her move-in with Taeyang, Jennie had stayed at the first cheap accommodation she came across. It was a one-bedroom flat which consisted of just her bedroom, a tiny bathroom, and a corner for kitchen appliances. Lisa’s apartment was a mansion in comparison. However, her priority at the time had been finding a decent job – living in a shitty flat had been the least of her concerns.

When they decided to move in together, Taeyang was surprisingly good at getting exactly what they needed. Jennie had not been too worried considering that both their wages were more than enough to find a nice house to rent, and Taeyang being a driver meant that transport was not a big concern either.

Now, Jennie was alone and with half the budget. And unlike the first time, she was definitely not going to settle for a shitty flat just for the cheap rent.

“This is ridiculous,” Jennie huffed.

While she might have been selective, most of the online listings she found contained some sort of bad sign. Jennie wasn’t willing to settle for just any apartment, but she also didn’t have that many options.

“What’s wrong with this one?”

“Carpet,” Jennie muttered, scrolling through the pictures one by one.

Usually, the photos were a lot more useful than the biased descriptions offered by the letting agents. Jennie was not a fool. A bedroom was not going to become magically comfier with soft velvety carpet under her feet. “They are a pain to maintain and clean, and a very dumb flooring choice in general.”

“Right. Carpet is bad. Got it.”

It wasn’t just about the interiors. Jennie also closely looked at the location of each place on the city map to check if there was a feasible route to work. Factors such as distance from public transport stations were much more important now than when she moved in with Taeyang.

“At this rate you’ll never leave Chaeyoung,” Lisa commented in amusement.

Apartment hunting was hard as it was, so Jennie opted to have a third-party opinion on her choices to make her decision slightly easier. Lisa seemed to approve of any apartment though, which unfortunately clashed with Jennie’s picky tendencies.

“Okay, but look,” Jennie turned the laptop on her legs until it faced Lisa. She pointed at one of the pictures on the screen and looked back at the other girl with expectant eyes. “Do you see that?”

Being the angel she was, Lisa actually squinted and stared carefully at the photo of the bathroom that Jennie presented up-close. Jennie still held her finger on the top of the picture, waiting for some sort of acknowledgement.

“I don’t see anything.”

Jennie sighed.

She stretched her arm further and moved her fingers on the mousepad to zoom in on the top left, specifically on the corner of the bathroom where the shower was located.

“Do you see it now?”

“What is it? Paint?”

“It’s mould, Lisa. On the ceiling.”

Lisa moved her face closer to the screen. Jennie found herself staring at her changing expression, showing a brief splash of satisfaction once she found exactly what Jennie had been referring to.

“Ah-ha! I see it.”

“Yeah,” Jennie let out quietly. Lisa had not moved, her face was right in front of her while Jennie still held the laptop.

Well, needless to say that Jennie’s thoughts had been all over the place since the time she went out with Lisa. After that night, she started to pay attention to things she wouldn’t have before – like the way Lisa always complained of being tired from work but insisted that Jennie stayed with her. Or that she used that whiney voice of hers to get what she wanted that Jennie had learnt to find incredibly cute. Or the fact that Lisa lived by herself but started to have two sets of basic tableware outside her cupboards just in case Jennie wanted to stay for dinner.

But more than anything, Jennie had started to feel things that she definitely shouldn’t feel. Because she shouldn’t be wondering what would happen if Lisa was to turn towards her and away from the screen, and she should not be feeling warm just thinking about it. No, Jennie should not be thinking about how naturally pretty and attractive Lisa was, not when she had already complimented the girl multiple times with no further purpose.

Jennie was in trouble for sure.

“Is it that big of an issue?”

“Huh?” Jennie cleared her throat and turned the laptop back to her once Lisa moved away. “Well, yes. Absolutely.”

“It’s like the size of my thumb.”

“Sure, that was its size when this photo was taken for this listing. But do you really think it’s still that small? Or that they’ll bother to take care of it properly before I move in?”

“Uhm, no?”

“Exactly.” Jennie closed the current tab and returned to the online catalogue. “Next.”

Even with all the nitpicking, their evening had not been that unsuccessful. After spending time criticising a lot of places over and over, Jennie identified a couple of good apartments that she saved for eventual in-person viewing.

Throughout the process, Jennie could tell that Lisa was trying her best to keep up with her commentary. She was actively listening and agreeing with everything Jennie said, but that was mostly due to the fact that she didn’t really have high requirements for a good apartment. Jennie didn’t want to drag her search for longer than necessary, so she soon put away her laptop when she reached a few promising options.

Eventually, Lisa asked her to stay for dinner like she always did, and Jennie found it harder than usual to stop herself from immediately blurting out a yes. She didn’t want to sound weirdly eager when she generally insisted that she should leave.

And in all honesty, Jennie just wanted to sit down and eat ramen with Lisa and pretend that all her issues were a figment of her imagination.

As Lisa cooked, Jennie didn’t think that joining her in the kitchen would have been a smart idea since it was a rather small space. Being in close proximity with the other girl was not safe anymore for her own heart. The distance did not seem to bother Lisa in the slightest given that they continued to talk as if they were in the same room, with Lisa yelling and laughing out loud when she needed to be heard.

Every now and then, Lisa would leave the stove and step into the doorway (since, again, there was not a door). She’d lean her shoulder on the side of the doorframe and speak with her arms crossed in such a relaxed posture that Jennie could not look away from her even if she wanted. The sleeves of Lisa’s shirt were always rolled up to her elbows while she cooked, which never fazed Jennie until she began to overanalyse everything and ended up finding it rather attractive. It was absurd, really. Everything about Lisa started to catch Jennie’s attention so easily.

It was dangerous territory. Jennie could not even begin to figure out what Lisa must have been thinking.

“Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

Lisa’s eyes briefly scanned her small living room, avoiding Jennie’s lost gaze. “My house. It’s really… not that great, right?”

Jennie shrugged. “It’s fine. Why should it bother me?”

“If you ever saw pictures of a place like this online, you would tear it apart like you did with all those other ones, wouldn’t you?” Lisa laughed quietly.

Jennie furrowed her brows slightly.

“I’ve only been selective because my situation is good enough for me to do so. That doesn’t mean that the apartments I’ve discarded were bad, they were just not what I wanted. Your house is more than fine.”

“You don’t have to be nice about it,” Lisa chuckled. “I know this place is falling apart. I’m just surprised you keep wanting to stick around. Like, before you met me… I’m sure pre-breakup Jennie Kim would not want to hang around fast-food shops.”

“You just said it. I didn’t know you then.”

“And I lowered your standards?”

“No.” Jennie paused, thinking really carefully on how to word her answer without sounding weird about it. “I don’t exactly stick around for the fast-food or your house, Lisa.”

Lisa tilted her head confused. “Then what?”

Jennie always spoke very highly of Lisa, but in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to facepalm and let the ground swallow her alive. How much more obvious did she need to be before she started making a fool out of herself?

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “Maybe the fast-food shop worker and the house tenant herself?”

Lisa must have got the hint as she stood up straighter, pushing away from the doorframe and uncrossing her arms. “Oh. Right, yeah. Makes sense.”

It was clear that there was nothing wrong with Jennie’s answer; it was objectively innocent. They became friends, and while Jennie enjoyed burgers and fries occasionally, the main reason she came around was to see Lisa.

Purely logical, with the exception of the slight shift of Jennie’s feelings from being purely platonic to becoming… a little more than that.

When Lisa returned to the stove, Jennie thought that perhaps it was best to wait until the attraction or… whatever she was feeling started to dissipate.

It wouldn’t be the first time she did it, after all. When she was younger, she had to suppress any romantic feelings she developed for girls until she could act like they never existed. Back then, it was to protect her image. But now, she just didn’t want to lose the friendship she had with Lisa.

“It’s ready!”

They were going to be fine.

Lisa sat down next to her like always. They kept eye contact while speaking, as usual. They had a shared tissue to wipe the few drops of ramen soup that fell on top of the table, and sometimes they reached for it at the same time, but their hands touched only for a split second. They also had separate glasses with their respective drinks, but Lisa always finished hers first, so Jennie would eventually let her take sips from her own glass. Nothing had changed between them.

Everything would be just fine if Jennie could keep acting like her heart was not beating like crazy.

----

The viewing appointments for the apartments were not hard to obtain. Jennie simply had to make a few phone calls with each landlord and charm her way into getting a viewing date that was not weeks away. That included making them believe that the apartment she needed to arrange a viewing for was the one she wanted the most.

Chaeyoung was more than happy to tag along and scrutinise every inch of each place. In her own words, she just wanted to ensure that Jennie got the best of the best.

To Jennie’s great surprise, the apartments she chose were mostly very promising. There were a few alarming signs here and there, such as bathroom walls with fresh coatings of paint to hide whatever monstrosity lay underneath. Jennie knew that letting agents were trained to sell her the dream, but she was smart enough to see through their bullshit.

While she had some good viewings, the appointment she was most looking forward to had, ironically, the most annoying letting agent she had met.

The woman was a very elegant lady. She had long, wavy hair that neatly cascaded down her back, not a single lock out of place. Like all the other agents that Jennie had the displeasure to meet, she had this forcefully wide smile that made Jennie feel somewhat uncomfortable.

Jennie tried to understand. She really did. But that particular agent was simply driving her insane.

“Come on in Jennifer, this is the master bedroom.”

First of all, Jennie’s name was not short for Jennifer. It had taken every ounce of self-control not to snap at the lady when she kept using the wrong name. Chaeyoung’s snickering prompted Jennie to shoot a few glares at her friend, but at least one of them was finding the situation amusing.

When the agent introduced herself as Stephanie, enthusiastically bringing up the fact that she was raised in the US, Jennie had merely nodded in acknowledgement. “Please, feel free to call me Steph,” she had said at some point. Jennie didn’t really care, but she got the memo.

When Steph started to call her Jennifer though, Jennie didn’t bother to waste her energy correcting her. Unfortunately, she had to deal with the consequences of her own actions.

The viewing didn’t last that long, but Jennie really liked the apartment. Steph had to overexaggerate the positives (such as the natural sunrise lighting from the large windows that would supposedly energise Jennie for the day), but everything that Jennie wanted was there. The bedrooms were nice, the bathroom was clean, and most importantly, it had a room that would make the perfect home design studio.

“I’m not one to gossip,” Steph giggled on their way out, “but rumour has it that there are some VIPs living in this building. Might want to keep a notepad and pen around.”

----

With her living situation settled, Jennie had hoped to enjoy the few weeks she had left in Chaeyoung’s place and have some girl time with her best friend.

Of course, Chaeyoung had to leave her stranded in Korea while she visited her family in Australia.

“I don’t feel very loved right now.” Jennie did sulk a little. Just a little.

Chaeyoung had the nerve to laugh at her. “I’ll be back in literally three days. You’ll be just fine.”

Jennie huffed on the phone, making sure that Chaeyoung could hear her. “I don’t even know what I’m gonna do now. My weekend plans are ruined.”

Chaeyoung hummed thoughtfully on the other end of the line. “Invite Lisa over? That could be fun.”

At the mention of the familiar name, Jennie felt like she had to hold her breath to stop the nervous feeling in her stomach. Damn, she was nowhere near as composed as she thought.

“I don’t know, she might be busy.”

“Come on Jen, she’s never busy for you.”

Jennie had to roll her eyes at the clear teasing tone. She really couldn’t hide anything from her friend, not even when she was in a whole different country.

With a little more convincing, Jennie had finally resigned to give in and follow her gut. She hoped that Lisa was actually willing to come over since it’d be the first time that they would go to Jennie’s place instead of hers.

While she had Lisa’s number, Jennie hoped that showing up in person might make her proposal a little more persuasive.

When she checked old messages, Jennie groaned as she read that Lisa’s manager would be on shift until the late evening, but she figured that letting the kid deter her from the place just with her presence would make her seem weak.

With that thought in mind, Jennie walked into Kim’s Fried Chicken and Burgers with the toughest look she could muster, ensuring that all signs of tiredness were hidden away.

But as soon as she stepped inside, her facial features softened immediately at the familiar face greeting her.

“Lia?”

Since they had extended Lia’s internship to a graduate position for the next year, Jennie had been seeing her more often at the studio. However, she couldn’t help but think this was a rather unlikely place to meet outside of work.

The named girl looked away from a very perplexed Ryujin and immediately jumped out of her seat to bow politely like she always did.

“Miss Kim! What a surprise to see you here! I didn’t expect you to frequent a place like this.”

The pink-haired manager narrowed her eyes as she looked at Jennie from head to toe. She wisely opted not to speak a word like she usually would have done, but her signature glare remained. Jennie ignored her in favour of not ruining her good boss image.

“I’m just here to meet a friend, that’s all.” Jennie returned Lia’s bright grin with a kind smile of her own. “And you? What brings you here?”

The younger girl’s cheeks flushed as she glanced down at the seated manager. She stood closer to her and let a hand rest on Ryujin’s back as she returned her eyes on Jennie.

“This is Shin Ryujin, my girlfriend.” Lia then motioned towards Jennie and introduced her, not knowing that the two had already met. “Ryujin, this is Jennie Kim! You know her, right? The super-talented designer I went to see in New York?”

Jennie suppressed a smirk when Ryujin intentionally avoided her gaze as her girlfriend started listing endless praises about the designer that she admired the most. How unfortunate that said designer happened to be the woman she pissed off and called an old lady.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jennie Kim.” Her tone was particularly soft, Jennie had to acknowledge the effort.

“Likewise, Ryujin.”

Lia had taken over the conversation after that, with her girlfriend returning behind the counter to carry on with her shift. Jennie had not missed the few times she glanced at their table, immediately looking away as soon as Jennie challenged her stare.

A few minutes after, Lia received a call from her mother and got ready to leave. After saying her goodbyes to Jennie and kissing a blushing Ryujin on the cheek, she was gone.

“Well, well, well.” Jennie finally felt like she had the upper hand with the infuriating girl. Oh, how she wished that she had found out sooner that her intern had the mighty manager wrapped around her finger. “Who would have thought? My sweet intern and the girl that cannot tolerate my presence. The world is so small, don’t you think, Shin Ryujin?”

Unlike the previous times they met, the pink-haired girl tried her very best to keep her temper at bay. She was doing an incredible job at it, Jennie noted.

“Listen, don’t… I mean, in case you’re thinking about it,” she started quietly, “don’t let anything I’ve done to you affect how you treat Jisu. This job means the world to her.”

Jennie crossed her arms and leaned comfortably on her seat, looking up at the girl with a raised eyebrow. The hesitation and vulnerability in her request were very unexpected.

“What kind of tyrant do you think I am? Unlike you, she’s a lovely girl to have around.”

“Oh, I am aware of that. My girlfriend, remember?”

The smugness remained, but Jennie was just happy that the harshness in her tone had completely disappeared. Whether or not it was a genuine change, Jennie did not know.

“Have you been together long? Lia told me she’s been doing her studies abroad.”

“Yeah, uh,” Jennie could swear that Ryujin was getting shy. “I’ve actually known her since we were kids, but we only started dating in high school.”

That was indisputably cute. Jennie had never believed that childhood sweethearts ever lasted, mainly because the thought of her high school boyfriends made her want to throw up. Regardless of that, she was still a sucker for successful romance stories, even when half of the couple was not her biggest fan (while the other half certainly held that title). Besides, if they could survive the distance at such a young age, they probably could survive anything.

“That’s nice,” Jennie commented sincerely. “Did you know who I was?”

“Did it sound like I did?” Ryujin actually laughed. Like a carefree, genuine laugh. Jennie really underestimated the perks of being someone’s girlfriend’s career idol.

“I guess not.”

“And to be fair, you did act very weirdly for being a total stranger. Asking personal questions and loitering outside.”

“I was not loitering, okay? I just didn’t know how to contact Lisa at the time.” She paused and pointed at the girl accusingly. “And you didn’t help with the attitude.”

Ryujin just shrugged, not taking offence. “Touché. But speaking of Lisa, she’s not here today.”

“She’s not?” Jennie pulled out her phone to check the screenshot of Lisa’s text. “On Monday she said she would be working today.”

“Yeah, she was supposed to. But she came in yesterday morning for a last-minute cover shift, so I gave her the day off. Pretty sure she’s still home, though.”

----

It took some effort to drag Lisa out of her house on her day off.

Jennie had knocked on the door politely, ready to charm her way into an impromptu invite to hang out. And yet Lisa just had to greet her in comfy home clothes, with her hair wet from a recent shower and a white towel hanging around her neck.

Being in awe of Lisa’s home look was not really playing in her favour. Jennie had forgotten the entire persuasive speech that she had planned in her head. All the words were gone at the sight of Lisa with her bright wide eyes as soon as she opened the door.

Lisa had tried to argue with her. Well, tried was a bit of a stretch since she had given in as soon as Jennie said “Lisa, please?” in the cutest tone she could muster, knowing that even Lisa could not say no.

“I don’t understand why we didn’t just stay at my house.”

“We could have, but it’s nice to switch it up, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” Lisa sighed, pushing the shopping trolley slowly as she followed Jennie along. “Can we get ice cream?”

“Really? It’s not that hot today.”

They made a brief stop at the supermarket so that Jennie could refill Chaeyoung’s empty fridge. It eventually ended up being a good opportunity to add a few snacks for their evening.

“Ice cream is good for the heart, don’t you know?”

“I thought your best friend was a doctor. Are you sure she’s telling you the right stuff?”

“Ha, very funny.”

Jennie paused briefly at the alcohol section. She glanced at the various glass bottles and scanned the labels. “Up for drinking tonight?”

Lisa casually stepped closer to Jennie and stood next to her, leaning her elbows on the side of the trolley.

“Whoa, this is like, the fancy stuff.”

“And they’re not even that good,” Jennie muttered.

“Hmm, we could just go with soju? I have work tomorrow, but-”

“Hold on.” Jennie’s attention was quickly drawn to a very familiar face walking past their aisle. “Nayeon!”

The named girl halted and turned around confused, but soon matched Jennie’s delight.

Im Nayeon was an old friend. Jennie had known her longer than anyone else in her circle of friends as Nayeon was the only person she had kept in contact with after she left high school. She didn’t see her as often as Chaeyoung, but Jennie still loved her dearly.

After exchanging hugs and pleasantries, Nayeon did not beat around the bush for long. “So? How have you been doing? Seeing anyone new after that pathetic loser?”

Jennie forced a smile. “I’ve been on a few dates, but nothing serious so far.”

“You’ll see, the right one will come around.” Nayeon’s eyes shifted and landed right on Lisa, finally noticing that Jennie had not been shopping alone. “And who…?”

“Oh. This is Lalisa Manoban, a friend.”

Lisa merely offered a small smile and a polite bow, although the black cap she wore made it harder to see her facial expressions.

Nayeon returned the bow as Jennie introduced her, but something about her perplexed gaze made Jennie feel somewhat awkward.

“Is… everything okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah, I just…” Nayeon briefly glanced at Lisa, but her eyes returned to Jennie with the usual warmth. “It’s nothing. I’ll call you soon!”

“Uh sure, yeah, see you.”

Jennie gave Nayeon one more hug before the girl left. But as she walked away, Jennie didn’t miss the final look that Nayeon shot in Lisa’s direction.

It had been a rather weird exchange, but Lisa did not appear to be fazed by it. While they continued with their shopping, Jennie had even questioned if Lisa had met Nayeon before, but the girl had denied the idea very quickly.

While it might have left her with a weird feeling in her stomach, Jennie didn’t bring it up again.

----

Upon entering Jennie’s (temporary) home for the first time, Lisa immediately let out a low wow.

If Jennie was to lay all her cards on the table, she would admit that she had spent the majority of her morning cleaning up the place after she had followed Chaeyoung’s suggestion to invite Lisa over. There wasn’t much to tidy up in the first place, but Jennie did not want to come across as nervously giddy with anticipation.

Because Jennie was definitely not feeling giddy – not at all, not even a trace, cool as a cucumber one might say.

“I’d give you a tour but there’s not much to see. The bathroom is on the far left if you need it,” Jennie said while pointing at one of the doors.

“I’m guessing the light switch is inside as well?” Lisa said humorously, reminding Jennie of the first time she visited Lisa’s house.

And just like Jennie had done back then, Lisa had taken her sweet time admiring every little detail of Chaeyoung’s apartment. Sadly for her, there was not a single framed picture of Jennie to overanalyse.

“When are you moving to the new place?”

“I signed the lease and paid the deposit, but I’m waiting for Chaeyoung to come back first before moving.”

“Need any help?”

“Would you make time on your busy schedule for me?” Jennie laughed as she carried their shopping in the kitchen.

“I mean, I’m never busy for you, am I?”

Lisa’s reply had come in a completely nonchalant manner, but Jennie almost dropped a soju bottle at the repetition of Chaeyoung’s exact comment. She had not been in the wrong, after all.

Their night was not much different from the usual evenings spent at Lisa’s apartment. They decided to watch a popular dating reality show instead of a movie, much to Lisa’s dismay. Jennie insisted that it was a lot more fun for commentary purposes, and she was soon proven right by Lisa’s continuous criticism of the contestants' dumb decisions.

Jennie decided to cook their dinner instead of ordering takeout like she had initially planned. They had bought enough groceries for a homemade meal, so it only made sense. But more than anything, Lisa just seemed really excited to try Jennie’s cooking, and how could Jennie ever say no? She liked the praises, and she liked Lisa’s attention.

Further into the night, around the fourth or fifth episode, Jennie started to realise that Lisa probably drank a lot more than she did. Her cheeks were flushed, and she constantly giggled right after saying something about the events on the screen. Jennie was definitely more sober – not completely, but still clear-headed. She just hoped that the comments she made in her head about Lisa being absolutely adorable remained in her thoughts.

“This is really, really, really dumb.” Lisa pointed at the screen, although the scene had already passed. “He doesn’t like her! And she doesn’t like him!” Jennie could swear that Lisa was pouting. “But they went on a date?”

By that point, Jennie had forgotten most of the show. She could barely remember what Lisa was referring to. A girl had been rejected by every guy since the first episode, but she persisted with flirting excessively whenever she got the chance. A new guy had been introduced a few minutes ago, and apparently the single girl had been his main pick. It was visibly clear that neither of the two were interested in being together. Jennie had watched enough reality TV to know that they were pretending just to stay in the game.

“Yeah, that’s how dating shows work.”

“They don’t work. They're, like, stupid.”

Jennie finished the remainder of the soju in her shot glass. “You know what? You’re right. Dating is stupid.”

Lisa tilted her head back until it rested completely on the back of the sofa. She stared dreamily at the ceiling, while Jennie could only look at Lisa’s perfect side profile.

“Then…” she said quietly, “why do you date?”

Jennie couldn’t stop her snort. Lisa sounded dead serious despite being drunk. To her surprise, Lisa didn’t break out in laughter like Jennie expected. Jennie supposed that perhaps it was a question that had been on Lisa’s mind for a while.

“I don’t even know anymore,” she sighed. “It’s not like it’s working, I never go on a second date. Seems like the perfect person is not out there.”

“I think that… it doesn’t have to work.” Lisa then paused, and quickly clarified herself, “well, that’s what I think. It might not be what you think.”

Jennie leaned her elbow on the back of the sofa and looked at the other girl with nothing but fondness in her eyes. Maybe the alcohol was having an effect on her too. Her feelings were surely amplified.

“You think I’m never going to meet someone good enough?”

“No, I mean – organically, there are no perfect people in this world, Jennie.” Some of the words were mumbled, but Jennie never thought that Lisa would have a coherent argument in her inebriated state. Certainly, she didn’t expect Lisa to turn her head and stare at her the way she did.

Without Jennie noticing, Lisa had reached for one of her hands. Jennie let their fingers loosely interlace as Lisa pulled her hand on her lap, looking down at it as she started playing with her fingers.

“But there’s going to be that one person who will make you want everything… their good, their bad, and their ugly. It doesn’t have to be someone you’re looking for… maybe it’s just someone you find.” Lisa glanced up at the screen and weakly motioned towards it. “Like those people. They say they have a type but then go after someone who’s nothing like it. Then someone new comes in and they like them more. And that keeps happening until… they find the one.”

“Kinda like finding the perfect person, no?”

“No, no. Like finding your person.” Lisa held up a single finger from Jennie’s hand and stared at it, as if that somehow symbolised what she was trying to say. She then added in a whisper, “They were not your person, Jennie.”

And by they, Jennie knew she was referring to everyone she had been dating.

It was an interesting thought. Someone could have all the characteristics of her ideal partner, but that didn’t necessarily mean that they’d make a good match if they got together. There were too many factors to consider when it came to a successful relationship. Jennie had spent most of her dating time trying to understand why a certain person wasn’t right for her, but at the same time, she was probably not going to be right for them either.

Perhaps, that was also why it didn’t work out with Taeyang.

“Okay. I think I get it.” Jennie smiled and unconsciously reached up to fix Lisa’s untidy locks of hair. “So… what’s the conclusion? You don’t want me to date?”

“I want you to be happy.”

It was silent for a moment. Jennie tried to search for an answer in Lisa’s eyes, anything to hint at something more. But in reality, nothing had changed. Lisa had that kind smile, one that she offered every time Jennie was not feeling okay.

Jennie said nothing. Lisa didn’t mind the silence, although she stopped watching the TV entirely. One moment she was focusing on Jennie, and the next she was struggling to keep awake.

Clearly, there was not going to be a further explanation.

Lisa was quite stubborn, Jennie had learnt that night. She had done her very best to help the other girl walk to her bedroom while she was half asleep, but Lisa still managed to mumble a few words of protest. She had work, Jennie was aware, but she was in no condition to make her way home in that state. A sober Lisa would have probably been more cooperative.

There wasn’t really much thought behind giving up her own bedroom. Jennie just assumed that it was the most respectful thing to do. She would never let a guest sleep on the sofa, and she didn’t feel comfortable letting Lisa take Chaeyoung’s bedroom while she was not home.

When the edge of the bed touched the back of Lisa’s legs, the girl let herself fall back onto the mattress, letting out a deep sigh with her eyes closed.

“Do you want to change clothes?”

Lisa moved her head side to side, a clear no. Jennie sighed and sat on the side of the bed, pulling the duvet from Lisa’s feet to cover her up to the waist.

Suddenly, Lisa grabbed her arm and opened her eyes slightly. “I have… work.”

“I know. You can still make it from here.”

“Alarm. On the phone.”

Jennie briefly touched the top of Lisa’s pockets to find the device, but they were empty. Lisa giggled though, feeling ticklish from the light touch.

Remembering earlier moments, Jennie walked back out into the living room and found Lisa’s phone on the sofa. She pressed the unlock button, not surprised to discover that the device was secured by a PIN. The lock screen displayed a picture of a white and grey cat, which was quite predictable.

Walking back to her bedroom, she noticed that Lisa’s eyes were back to being shut, but Jennie called her name regardless. Lisa didn’t like being woken up, not even when she was technically still awake. Jennie dipped her knee on the mattress, hovering over the half-asleep girl and repeatedly nudging her.

“You said you need your phone!”

A few whines and childish complaints later, Lisa pulled at Jennie’s arm, making her lose balance immediately. Jennie found herself trapped between Lisa’s arms, but she was honestly too tired to get back up. She made herself comfortable until her back was flat against Lisa’s front, with the latter’s arms loosely hugging her shoulders.

Jennie blew away the strands of hair covering her face, bringing Lisa’s phone closer. “Okay. I guess I’ll do it for you, big baby.”

“M’not a baby,” Lisa said grumpily in return.

Without the passcode, Jennie was left with no choice but to grab Lisa’s right thumb and press it on the fingerprint reader to unlock the device. The home screen still had the famous white and grey cat, but Jennie’s focus was entirely on Lisa smiling brightly as she presumably held the phone up to take a selfie with the cat, who was looking in a completely different direction.

“This is so cute,” she gushed.

Now that she thought about it, she had never taken a single picture with Lisa. Somehow, they had never been on the same frame.

Before setting up Lisa’s alarms, Jennie opened the camera app and set it on selfie mode. She raised her arm up to a decent angle until Lisa was also in the frame, although sadly she had her eyes closed.

Jennie winked and held up her free hand forming a peace sign, turning slightly towards Lisa until their heads gently touched. Given that both girls were a mess, the photo turned out pretty great.

Not fully trusting Lisa to keep the picture on her phone without dying of embarrassment, Jennie made sure to open the message chat with her name and send it to herself.

And in that moment, Jennie noticed that Lisa had set a contact picture for her from the time they went to the Thai restaurant together. Jennie just wanted a few pictures to post on her Instagram, but she was surprised that Lisa had kept the ones she had asked her to take. And all at once, her heart started to feel warm again.

“Damn it, Lisa.” She sighed as she opened her alarms like she was supposed to. “What time do you have to wake up?”

Lisa hummed tiredly. “Nine.”

Jennie subsequently selected the alarms as she would have done on her own phone.

8:45 a.m.

8:50 a.m.

8:55 a.m.

9:00 a.m.

“Done.”

With some effort, Jennie slid out of Lisa’s hold and sat up on the bed, picking up her charger and plugging it into Lisa’s phone. Upset by the sudden change in position, Lisa opened her eyes once again, this time with a trace of annoyance. “Already?”

Jennie nodded. She left the phone on her bedside table and turned to face Lisa again, fixing the duvet like she had done the first time. “It’s bedtime.”

She didn’t get to leave. Lisa wrapped her hand around her wrist and held her down. She didn’t use a lot of strength, but it was enough for Jennie to stop moving.

“What’s up?”

“Jennie…”

With the way Lisa held her hand between hers so gently, Jennie wasn’t exactly sure why she started feeling nervous.

“Jennie, are you happy?”

There was a certain fragility in the question. Jennie couldn’t figure it out. Why would Lisa care?

But mostly, why did Jennie like it so much? She liked that Lisa cared. She liked Lisa’s attention. She liked the thought of being on Lisa’s mind. She wanted Lisa to think about her the same way Jennie couldn’t stop thinking about her too.

And maybe Lisa wouldn’t remember her answer, or any of the things she had said that night. But Jennie still wanted her to know. In their little bubble, where she could pretend to have it all figured out.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “You make me happy.”

----

By the time Jennie woke up, Lisa had already left the house. The hangover tablets were gone too, along with the full water bottle Jennie had left the night before.

Like every morning, Jennie checked her phone for any emails, but to her great surprise, she had a couple of missed calls from Nayeon. It was rather weird since Nayeon didn’t normally call more than once if her calls were not answered. She always waited until Jennie got back to her.

Noticing new messages in their chat, Jennie opened the unread texts.

Im Nayeon
Jennie this might be weird but you know that girl that was with you yesterday
07:33

It wasn’t the first time Jennie made her way to Lisa’s workplace unannounced. Lisa didn’t like when she barged in and yelled at the first person she saw, like she had done before.

Jennie supposed that maybe this time it was justified.

Im Nayeon
Lalisa Manoban, you said? Well, the name sounded very familiar for some reason
07:33

Jennie had been so, so stupid. How could her memory fail her like that? How did she not realise? Lisa’s vague answers had never been an issue. Would Jennie have found out sooner if she had been more scrutinous?

Im Nayeon
So I kinda spent hours last night asking around to see where I knew her from
07:33

Lisa was there when she walked in. Her eyes grew a little wide in shock. She probably didn’t expect her.

Jennie didn’t expect it either.

Im Nayeon
And – guess what? Dahyun said she went to our school! But hear me out, yeah
07:34

It was a little too similar to that first night. Jennie had nothing but a hard stare, not a single hint of a smile like what Lisa had grown accustomed to. It was a sight she had not witnessed in a long while.

But Jennie didn’t care about the audience, nor about Ryujin staring blankly at her.

She walked up to the front counter, right across from Lisa.

“You confessed to me.”

She saw it. The instant apprehension in Lisa’s eyes, the flash of panic. She knew.

“Jennie…“

“In my last year of high school—you’re the girl that confessed to me.”

----

Chapter Text

“I hope you can accept this!”

Jennie looked down at the girl bowing beside her, arms stretched straight in front of her with her fingers gripping a yellow envelope.

After turning off the sink tap and carefully shaking droplets of water off her hands, Jennie turned to fully face her. The girl was still in the exact same position, her blonde hair falling over her eyes as she continued to stare down at her feet.

“Hold on,” Jennie murmured, grabbing tissue to dry her hands completely before touching the paper envelope. “What is it?”

“It’s, w-well…” the girl stuttered, the hands holding the envelope shaking. “I just hope you can read it.”

Jennie reached out to receive the letter, smiling gently when the girl’s grip on it was too tight to take it off her hands.

“Sorry,” the girl whispered, rubbing her now empty palms against her skirt.

As she examined the envelope, Jennie couldn’t really decipher it. “You wrote it?”

“Yes,” the girl nodded. “For you.”

“I figured. What does it say?”

“I just wanted to… express my feelings.”

“Feelings?” Jennie repeated surprised. “As your senior, or…?”

From the looks of it, it could have been a letter of admiration. Jennie received those too.

But from the way the girl shook her head with flushed cheeks, she knew it wasn’t the case this time. How curious. It was the first time someone confessed to her in the school bathrooms.

“Oh. I see.”

“I don’t expect you to reciprocate them or anything!” the girl hastily clarified. “I just… wanted you to have it. Really. I know you’re not… well, you’d never… but I wanted to tell you before it was too late.”

Oh, poor thing. She didn’t know the truth about Jennie, that was for sure. And even then, she had the heart to confess to her.

“Okay. I’ll read it.”

The girl’s lips parted in shock, and her eyes grew twice the size if that was even possible. The spark of joy reflected in them definitely made it worth it in Jennie’s mind.

Jennie smiled at her, relishing at the thrilled grin she received in return. The girl started to step back, almost tripping over her feet and making Jennie stifle a laugh.

“That’s great. Wonderful.” She bowed shortly, turning to head out. “I’ll see you around. Good luck with everything, Jennie.”

“Wait,” Jennie called out softly. “Your name?”

“Oh.” The girl paused with a hand on the door handle. “It’s Lisa.”

For being a day where the sun shone brightly in the sky, the average temperature was lower than expected. Jennie waited on the building’s rooftop terrace, but Lisa’s home was obstructing the sunlight from illuminating the place, leaving Jennie in the shade. It was slightly ironic.

In a hurry, Lisa had given her the keys to her apartment, imploring her to wait for what Jennie hoped would be an explanation. Jennie didn’t want to go in. The ring holding the keys together was adorning her index as she twirled them around it out of boredom.

She sat with her legs crossed on the big cement block that Lisa used as a seating area. Although she was still unsettled by the new information from that morning, Jennie felt weirdly at peace now that she had the time to calm herself down. Her eyes followed the stray cat that Lisa had unofficially given shelter to, who sometimes strolled around the terrace. And somehow, just looking at him reminded her of Lisa. Because Lisa cared for this cat so much, even when it wasn’t hers. And although that affection wasn’t always reciprocated by the grumpy animal, he always returned. Perhaps, Lisa had that same effect with everyone.

It didn’t take long for Lisa to appear. Jennie had not been counting the minutes, but she had a feeling that Lisa requested an earlier break from her manager to follow her so quickly.

Jennie heard her before she saw her. Heavy but rushed footsteps resounded from the staircase leading to Lisa’s terrace, which paused briefly from when Lisa presumably saw her outside. Jennie turned her head slightly, making Lisa freeze on the spot instantly. The girl tried her best to keep eye contact, but she was also visibly nervous.

“Come sit down,” Jennie said calmly.

Lisa brought her hand to the back of her neck and rubbed it anxiously, following Jennie’s suggestion and taking a seat next to her.

It was painfully quiet for a few moments. Jennie didn’t feel like speaking up and Lisa was dying with tension.

Clearing her throat, Lisa finally dared to ask, “Are you mad at me?”

“Should I be?”

“Well, I thought you were.”

Jennie leaned back on her hands and sighed. “I wasn’t having a go at you. I just made a statement. You confessed to me.”

“Yes. Eight years ago.”

“Has it really been that long?”

Lisa nodded. “I used to be a year below yours. I think I was seventeen at the time.”

“Is that why I couldn’t remember you?”

“Probably,” Lisa shrugged. “It was also the only time I’ve ever really spoken to you in high school.”

“But you remembered it.”

“I did,” Lisa confirmed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Did rejection scar you so badly?” Jennie eventually added humorously. From Lisa’s shy smile, it seemed to have helped ease the awkwardness.

“It’s not that,” she said tentatively. “It’s what happened after.”

Jennie furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at Lisa with clear confusion. What happened after?

“I never saw you again after that.”

“Yeah. I didn’t see you either. No one did, to be precise.”

Although still unsure about Lisa’s answer, Jennie’s memories eventually started to clear up. Sometime after the confession, Jennie was forced to finish her last school year remotely, before she moved out of the country for the next few years.

Disappearing had been the best choice according to her parents. The logic was fairly simple: the less people saw her, the less they’d talk about her. At the time, Jennie just wanted to speed up the painful process of being forgotten, so she personally chose where she wanted to study abroad.

But her sudden absence must have been noticeable, especially to those who watched her every move at school. And considering recent discoveries, Lisa was seemingly one of them.

“Oh,” Jennie nodded to herself. “I remember. But… you didn’t have anything to do with it.”

Lisa scoffed. “Are you kidding?”

Jennie was taken aback by the sudden outburst. Lisa had never sounded so… frustrated.

“Not at all,” Jennie shook her head perplexed. She sat up and finally turned to face the other girl. “Moving to France had nothing to do with what you did. I left because of—”

“—because of all the rumours,” Lisa finished off. “And whose fault was that?”

“Not yours. How were you supposed to know that someone was listening?”

While Jennie might not remember Lisa’s love confession, the butterfly effect it created made its permanent mark in Jennie’s life.

High school created weird dynamics. Jennie knew she had been well-known among other students considering the influence her father had. But with popularity, envy soon followed. Instead of admiring her, certain people looked forward to her downfall. And when the opportunity presented itself to do some damage, someone gladly seized it.

It all started with accepting a girl’s love letter.

Jennie didn’t think much of it when it happened. She had valued Lisa’s courage and felt it deserved to be recognised. It wasn’t like she returned the feelings of anyone that confessed to her, so taking Lisa’s letter wasn’t any different than if she had been a guy. Her carelessness probably contributed to her poor memory of who had given it.

And yet, when an inconspicuous witness listened to their exchange, it suddenly turned into the scoop of the year. Jennie didn’t check that the toilet stalls were empty, and Lisa confessed her feelings believing they were alone. The chance of someone eavesdropping didn’t even cross their minds.

But it only took a day to realise that their small private moment had been twisted in something much deeper.

After all, people loved to gossip far more than they liked fact-checking. Apart from Jennie herself and whoever was listening, Lisa was the only other person to truly know what happened—that being, nothing at all.

Lisa removed her work cap and ran a hand through her hair. “I confessed to you knowing that you were straight. No one cared about me though, I was nobody. But you—you had the whole school at your feet, and yet people started talking shit because of me. Don’t you get that?”

“But I wasn’t.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t straight. That’s the whole point.”

It was what made the situation more complex than it had to be. Jennie had lost track of all the ridiculous accusations that started to go around, ranging from a heated makeout session to a long-term secret relationship.

But while the speculations of what happened in that bathroom were all lies, the claims of Jennie Kim being interested in girls were a brutal reality check. Her parents’ overreaction reminded her of the person she would never be allowed to be, the life of pretence in which she willingly trapped herself in.

And yet, that realisation was exactly what had led her to give up the fight as soon as she met Sana.

“That doesn’t matter! Do you know how crazy it was to hear people badmouth you just because you didn’t brutally reject me? All you ever did was accept a letter I begged you to take. If I had kept my mouth shut, no one would have forced you to leave.”

“My parents wanted me to leave, Lisa,” Jennie stated firmly. “I didn’t give a fuck about what other people assumed about me, my parents did. And they paid the price for it.”

Lisa kept shaking her head unconvinced. She stared down at her fidgety hands, her lips pressed together to hide her frown. Jennie didn’t really know what else to say. 

It was a weird turn of events. Jennie believed that she was at a disadvantage for not remembering anything about Lisa from that time, other than the fact that she confessed her feelings. However, it seemed that Lisa also had no clue about what Jennie went through after everything happened.

The undeniable truth remained that without Lisa’s confession, Jennie would probably be a very different person. That single moment changed the trajectory of her life, and by a strange twist of fate, Lisa crossed her path once more.

“Did you recognise me immediately?”

“Huh?”

“That first night… when I walked in all pissed off and stuff. Did you know who I was right away?”

“Ah, that.” As much as Lisa tried to keep it hidden, Jennie still noticed the fond look in her eyes. “Not immediately, no. I just thought you were a bitchy customer, that’s all.”

“Hey!”

With a slight push to her arm, Lisa finally let out a little laugh.

“I did think you looked familiar, but I only realised when I sat down and spoke to you. And then when you asked for my name… I was worried that by telling you, you’d also figure out who I was.”

“I clearly didn’t,” Jennie smiled in comprehension. “You still haven’t answered my question, though. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well, I didn’t really think we were going to meet again. I thought that if it was just one time, I wouldn’t have to ever mention it. But then, you kept coming back, and I didn’t want you to stop just because you resented me for what I did,” Lisa said quietly, as if it was something shameful to admit. “I know it’s selfish, but I didn’t want to risk losing what we have right now by bringing up the past.”

Considering everything, Jennie couldn’t help her increasing heart rate. Lisa had never been very vocal about how she felt, but Jennie loved hearing that she liked what they had—to the point where she was genuinely scared of losing her.

“Listen, I can’t resent you when you’ve done nothing wrong.”

Seeing that Lisa was ready to argue, Jennie promptly placed two fingers on Lisa’s lips to shush her. The touch was very gentle, and if they were in any other situation, Jennie would have blushed at how soft Lisa’s lips were.

“I get it. I wish you would have told me sooner, but I understand why you didn’t. That’s all the clarification I need.”

Lisa still didn’t look very happy about the dismissal of her (unreasonable) fault, but Jennie didn’t allow her protest.

“I don’t care about anyone or anything from high school. I just care about us, right now. Okay?”

Lisa nodded.

“Right. Then, we’re fine.” Jennie pulled her hand back and held up her pinky finger. “As long as you promise me there’s nothing more you’re hiding.”

Now that she was free to respond, Lisa was at a loss of words. She glanced at Jennie’s hand, and then back up into her eyes, trying to find any trace of a hidden grudge. Jennie was certain she found none.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been wanting to say that for a long time.” Jennie pursed her lips at the unnecessary apology, but Lisa quickly linked their pinky fingers together. “There. I promise this is everything.”

“We’re good now?”

“Yes.”

As soon as she saw Lisa’s sincere smile, Jennie pulled her by the pinky and wrapped her arms around the other girl. Just like the first time they hugged, Lisa hesitated from the initial shock, but returned the hug a lot quicker this time.

----

It would have been very easy to forget about the discovery of Lisa’s confession and leave it as it was. They had talked it out. They were fine.

But Jennie didn’t like it.

While Lisa recalled everything that happened, Jennie couldn’t even remember Lisa’s face from back then. It was incredibly frustrating. She knew that Lisa would never go into details about her confession, and there was only one way to put her mind at rest.

Jennie
 I’m at the door
 14:32

Oh, she had gone completely insane. If Chaeyoung was there to hear her plans, she’d probably get an earful. Jennie didn’t really have an explanation either, she just happened to be curious and extremely stubborn.

Staring down at her screen, Jennie waited for the read receipt to appear, nervously tapping her fingers on the back of the device.

Out of all the places in Seoul, she ended up in the area that made her the most uncomfortable.

It was fair to say that it was a wealthy neighbourhood, filled with green grass and tall apartment buildings with high security. Jennie was certain that she would have been stopped and questioned at the front desk if she had been anyone else.

The sound of a few door locks coming undone made Jennie glance back up, unconsciously holding her breath as she waited for the door to open.

Then, with a bored look that gave away nothing, her helper appeared.

“Hi, Ella.”

The only part of her old life that Jennie had missed dearly was her little sister. She resembled her a lot, from the eyes to the neat brown hair falling down her shoulders. People often said that they had the exact same ability of gaining everyone’s attention, although Jennie always thought she intimidated people while Ella was universally liked.

But more than anything, Ella held grudges just as hard as Jennie did.

With a sigh and a roll of eyes, Ella pushed the door open and walked back inside. Jennie had to hold her arm out to stop the door from shutting in her face.

With a tight-pressed smile, Jennie walked into the house she had left years before. “Well, good to see you as well.”

The house had not changed much. It had the same dull lighting and the depressing pale coloured walls, but there were a couple of noticeable differences. For instance, all of Jennie’s childhood photos were removed. Jennie also acknowledged that the table where she had spent numerous evenings studying on had been moved elsewhere, having lost its purpose. It immediately reminded her of the childhood she wasted living up to her parents’ expectations. The place had never felt like home, truthfully.

Ella plopped herself down on the big living room sofa, scrolling on her phone and ignoring Jennie like she had never walked inside.

“How are you?”

It wasn’t the first time they were seeing each other after Jennie returned from Europe, but it had been a while since they last met. With her increasingly busy life, Jennie didn’t get many chances to make contact, and Ella wasn’t exactly the type to initiate.

Jennie still tried. As much as Ella loved to shut down her attempts, Jennie still saw her as family. The only one she recognised as such.

“You know where your room is.”

Clearly, the effort was still very much one-sided.

“Right… I’ll leave you, then.”

Ella didn’t look back once as Jennie walked up the stairs.

Her room had always been in a weird spot of the house. The master bedroom, the bathroom, and her dad’s home office were all very visible, while Jennie’s bedroom was located at the end of an L-shaped corridor. Jennie supposed that her parents were relieved that it was out of sight.

When Ella told her (over a short text) that her parents had not thrown her belongings away, Jennie had been rather surprised. Although as she entered her bedroom, she noted that they were now all inside cardboard boxes neatly stacked on the sides of the room. Her bed didn’t have any pillows or bedsheets, but her mattress was covered by a thick plastic cover to keep it intact from dust and whatnot. Her old desk was also completely empty and in a similar state. Given the lack of dust and spiderwebs, Jennie assumed that the cleaner was still allowed to enter.

Luckily for her, the cardboard boxes all had labels with some sort of indication of what they contained. These included her stuffed toys and dolls, her wardrobe contents, and other belongings she had left behind when she moved out.

Jennie didn’t really intend on leaving a clear trace of her visit, so she truly hoped that the SCHOOL box would be the only one she had to touch.

Upon opening it, Jennie was greeted with a stack of textbooks. Some were in mint condition, others pretty worn from excessive use. In the middle of the stack, Jennie noticed a few thinner booklets, which she recognised as her old school’s monthly magazines (well, if eight pages of random content counted as a magazine).

The booklets were mostly produced by the journalism club, reporting anything they deemed relevant news concerning the school. Jennie had never been interested, but she kept the few issues in which she had been included. As she checked them, she eventually found the one where she was featured in the cover page. At the time, it boosted her ego a little.

Looking at an 18-year-old Jennie felt surreal. In the photo, she was sitting at a desk with her hand under her chin, looking ahead with a picture-perfect smile. The classroom was blurred but Jennie vaguely remembered sitting behind Nayeon, which explained the genuine smile.

Back then, Jennie used to force smiles every day and deal with people she didn’t really want to be around, and so seeing her real happy self was extremely rare. It was the main reason she was so fond of that cover.

Right as she placed the magazine back on the stack, her eyes were drawn to the corner that her thumb had been covering seconds prior.

‘Photo taken by Lalisa Manoban’.

“You got to be kidding,” Jennie mumbled under her breath, grabbing the booklet and opening it with urgency. She flicked through the pages until she found the credits section, scanning through the names of every student in the journalism club.

And then, under Photography, she saw that name yet again. There were three people credited, and Lisa happened to be the first name on the list.

Jennie didn’t really know any of the people in the journalism group, so it didn’t surprise her that she didn’t recall Lisa being a photographer there. But as she glanced at the covers of the other magazines, she spotted a different name being credited. Out of the magazines she had kept, Lisa’s name was only on Jennie’s cover.

And although she already found out about Lisa’s high school crush on her, Jennie still felt herself blushing.

Getting that old booklet had not been in her plans, but Jennie opted to keep it aside. Moving on from the textbook pile, she skimmed through stationery and notebooks, eventually landing her eyes on her target.

Lisa had not been the only person to confess to her with a letter. At the time, Jennie was popular enough to receive quite a few heartfelt letters, particularly during Valentine's Day and her birthday. Jennie usually felt awful for never reciprocating the feelings, but she always kept the letters as they were specifically written for her. She also had other notes and messages from friends that were exchanged at the end of every school year, but those were in a smaller quantity.

As she spotted the red metal container, she immediately took it out with a small sigh of relief. Jennie was mindful of time, knowing that she had to get out before anyone saw her. Ella mentioned that her parents wouldn’t be home until the late evening, so she still had a few hours.

Opening the lid with more effort than she remembered, she grabbed the bulky stack of envelopes and inspected them one by one.

Finding Lisa’s letter was easy.

Unlike the usual white, pink, or other pastel-coloured envelopes, Lisa’s one was bright yellow. Jennie’s name was written neatly at the front, right next to an adorable duckling sticker with an L on its chest. The back of the envelope also had a sticker—a single sunflower.

Gosh, she was so cute. Jennie couldn’t help but imagine a very young Lisa spending a whole night decorating her love letter.

The envelope seal was still intact, making Jennie’s eyes narrow slightly. She didn’t really read all letters, but the fact that she didn’t even open Lisa’s one was quite sad. It was likely due to the mess she found herself in right after that confession, but Jennie had hoped that Lisa’s words would have been received well by her younger self.

After safely taking Lisa’s letter out, Jennie carefully put everything back in the box the way she found it. There was a slight chance for the cleaner to notice some differences, but Jennie was sure her parents wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

She placed the letter and the magazine in her tote bag and returned downstairs, where Ella remained in the exact same position. Jennie stood by the end of the stairwell and watched her quietly.

“I’m gonna go now.”

Jennie wasn’t really expecting an answer, but Ella snorted and started laughing very dryly. “That’s what you do best.”

The words were muttered with sarcasms, but Jennie felt like she had been slapped. “Ella—”

“You said you were leaving,” Ella interrupted harshly. It was the only time she had looked her in the eyes. “Then, leave.”

“Can we talk?”

“Leave.”

“You can’t keep acting like this. Talk to me.” Jennie insisted. “I just want to—”

“Leave.”

A continuous back and forth. It was frustrating and tiresome on Jennie’s part, but Ella’s stance was difficult to budge. In her sister’s eyes, Jennie was nothing but a selfish bitch that left her family behind.

Against Ella’s wishes, Jennie didn’t leave. Being under the same roof was an opportunity she hadn’t had in ages. It would be foolish not to make the most of it.

Stepping into the living room, Jennie made her way to the sofa. On the other side of the room, the curved-screen television was still on and showing a sports channel, but the volume was incredibly low. Her attention briefly stayed on the screen, watching a familiar racing sport.

“What,” Ella grumbled, finally glancing up from her phone.

Jennie offered a small smile. A what was still progress from leave. “You watch Formula One races?”

Ella scoffed. “No.”

Leaning on the back of the sofa with her arms crossed, Jennie took a closer look at her little sister’s annoyed scowl. “My ex used to watch it. Every race Sunday, he would sit in front of the TV for hours without any awareness of the rest of the world.”

“I don’t care.”

And yet, the clear aimless tapping on the phone made Jennie believe otherwise. Ella might be spiteful, but she still cared. Jennie had always known that, even though Ella would never admit it.

“I saw the pictures on your Instagram,” Jennie commented after her sister opened the app. “You seem to be very close to this one… guy. Is he your boyfriend?”

If discussing their personal lives piqued her sister’s interest, Jennie had no reason to hold back.

Ella gave her the most dramatic eye roll yet. “None of your business.”

“It is absolutely my business.”

“Don’t you have your own boyfriend to worry about?”

“I just told you,” Jennie smirked at the exasperated tone. “He’s my ex now. We used to live together, though. Not that it matters now, but his name was Yoo Taeyang, we were together for three years. I think you might have hated him if you had met him properly.”

“I know who he is,” Ella mumbled. “And why do you think that?”

Jennie smiled unconsciously. Her sister refused to follow her back on social media, but Jennie was fully aware of the insta-stalking she constantly carried out. Ella was lucky she never mentioned the accidental likes she caught.

“Well, you hated every boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

“That’s because they were dickheads.”

“Ella!” The small upturn of Ella’s lips made Jennie grin. “Introduce me to your boyfriend, then.”

“Why would I do that?”

“So I can call him a dickhead.”

Ella turned entirely onto her side, with her back now facing Jennie. It would have served its purpose if Jennie had not already seen the suppressed smile.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“Lunch,” Ella replied flatly.

“Lunch?” Jennie repeated. “It’s almost dinner time. What are you craving?”

Ella went quiet. Jennie tried to peek at her sister’s face, but Ella locked her phone and sighed.

“Why do you even ask? It’s not like you’re gonna stay to eat with mum and dad.”

Jennie walked around until she was right next to the sofa’s armrest, leaning her side on it. “Well, I’m not here for them. I only care about you, Ella. Immensely so. You know that.”

When no response followed, Jennie gently placed her hand on top of her sister’s head, moving a few locks of hair from her forehead with her fingers.

The you left me argument wasn’t going to work anymore, Ella was aware of that. Jennie had tried to reach out to her sister multiple times, and Ella’s grudge had been the only obstacle in the way. She had tried calls and messages, which her sister loved to ignore. Jennie had also offered to pick up Ella after school initially, but the family driver had made that rather impossible.

And while Ella acted like she hated her, Jennie knew she loved her just as much. The fact that she had helped her pick up her things that day without questioning was proof of that, petty whining aside.

“Will you let me take you out to dinner? Or shopping? Anything. I’ll spoil you like you’ve never been spoiled before.”

Ella finally sat up with a sigh and a defeated smile, but still a smile nonetheless. “Mum and dad will kill me if they find out. You know that, right?”

----

Jennie was certain that she was sporting the goofiest smile ever. She really couldn’t help it.

Ella had not been picky about where to eat, but she really wanted pasta for dinner, and Jennie wanted to give Ella anything she wished for. That included the chocolate cake she craved for dessert.

“People are gonna think you’re weird,” Ella mumbled, although she couldn’t hide the amused upturn of her lips.

“Do you really think I care?”

Ella shrugged, picking up another bite of the cake with her fork. “I suppose not. You’d still be living at home if you did.”

“And I’d be miserable,” Jennie laughed lightly.

“Was it that bad for you?”

“You can’t imagine how much,” Jennie sighed. Ella had never questioned the reason Jennie left; she just used it as an excuse for getting mad. Considering that she was willing to talk about it, Jennie didn’t see why she should avoid the topic. “You know what made me leave, right?”

“I do.”

“Then, you also know that they had nothing against you. Just me. That’s why I had to go.”

Ella pressed her lips together in a thin line. “You were always the favourite child, Jennie.”

“Ella.”

“No, hear me out.” Ella put down her fork. “I always thought mum and dad would love you regardless. When you left, they started showering me with praises and love like they used to do with you. It made me think you were wrong for leaving, because I could never hate our parents like that.”

“That was one of the issues,” Jennie said. “It wasn’t all positive.”

“I realised that.”

“What do you mean?”

“They only love us when we’re flawless. I’m not an academic prodigy, and that ruined me. And liking girls ruined you.” Jennie raised an eyebrow, and Ella quickly added, “not for me. I never hated you for that. I could never. Well…”

Jennie noticed Ella averting her eyes and rubbing her palms on her thighs. She could see the nervous habits from miles away.

“Well?”

“I used to hate what you did. Not liking girls, just… telling our parents. I used to think we would still be fine if you said nothing.”

“Do you still think that?”

Ella quickly shook her head. “I don’t think it would have changed a thing. Dad still believes you’re straight, you know? He pretends not to care, but he saw pictures of you and that model boyfriend. He said you just wanted to make a scene. And mum, well, mum just goes along with everything dad thinks.”

Dating men didn’t make her straight. Jennie knew her parents would never understand that. Even if she had married Taeyang, she would still not be the flawless girl they wanted.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Jennie brushed off the comment. “As I said, I only care about you now.”

Ella quietly finished off the rest of her cake. Jennie could tell by the way she paused every now and then that she was prolonging their stay. She waited calmly as Ella placed her dessert plate on top of their other dishes, wiping her lips with a tissue afterwards.

“Do you wanna go for a walk? There’s a shopping centre nearby. It should close pretty late today.”

Ella simply nodded.

As they left the restaurant, Ella didn’t protest when Jennie linked their arms together and led the way.

----

Jennie was not kidding when she said that she wanted to spoil Ella like never before. Although Ella did not particularly seem in need of anything, Jennie constantly paid close attention to the items that appeared to get her interest. From clothes to shoes to accessories, Jennie kept offering to buy anything that Ella set her eyes on.

“There must be at least one thing you want, right?”

“Nothing at all.”

Jennie rolled her eyes as she followed the younger girl past the various shops in the shopping centre. They had only entered a few, and never came out with purchases. Ella seemed far more keen on window shopping.

“There’s always something,” Jennie insisted.

Ella was not really listening, too immersed in judging random options on the display windows. Or at least, that was what Jennie had assumed initially. Upon closer inspection, she finally noticed that her sister’s eyes were always drawn to a specific shop.

“Do you need a new phone?”

“What?” Ella spun around so quickly that Jennie had to hold her shoulder to ensure she wouldn’t lose balance. “No? My phone’s fine.”

Ella’s cheeks turned deep pink, immediately looking at anywhere but the fancy-looking tech shop opposite them. Jennie couldn’t help but grin as she took a closer look through the windows, spotting one of the two employees inside.

“Oh, I know that boy.”

“No, you don’t.”

“He was in your photos!”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Both of Ella’s arms came around her as she tried to drag her away from that shop, but Jennie’s feet stayed glued on the ground, a knowing look in her eyes. Her and Ella were similar in denying crushes too.

“I never said anything about a boyfriend,” she replied as her arms came around Ella’s shoulder, somehow ending in an awkward hug in the middle of the mall. She turned their bodies until Ella’s back was to the tech shop while Jennie had a clear view of the guy.

“You thought about it,” Ella mumbled, not pulling away from the hug.

“You want him to be.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Don’t lie to your sister.”

Even though she couldn’t see her, Jennie knew Ella rolled her eyes at the persistence. “It’s not even worth it.”

“It is if you want it to be.”

“High school crushes never last. What’s the point?”

And just like that, Lisa was back in Jennie’s thoughts. It was getting out of hand; Jennie could think about the other girl every hour of the day without being able to stop. Lisa had a crush on her in high school too. And perhaps it wouldn’t have worked out, just like Ella said. Jennie would never know.

“We should go in.”

Ella was quick to shake her head and push Jennie the opposite direction, but Jennie easily freed herself from her sister’s grasp and walked towards the shop’s entrance. With all the resisting, Jennie thought Ella would have hesitated a little more before following her.

The mystery boy was called Soobin, Jennie found out as she casually approached him under the pretence of seeking tech support. He was rather tall with neat hair swept to the side, dressed in a blue polo shirt and dark trousers. His height was nowhere near intimidating considering the adorable smile he flashed as soon as Ella walked in.

Ella kept her cool really well. She appeared to be completely unfazed by the encounter, a great contrast to how exasperated she had sounded a few moments prior. Soobin was shy and sometimes stumbled over his words in a rush to get them out, but Jennie could clearly see he was utterly smitten by Ella.

Missing out on most of her sister’s teenage years meant that Jennie never got to tease her about crushes or help her out in her first relationships. The fact that Ella was now almost eighteen did not mean she stopped needing a little push, though.

Jennie spent the next half hour or so gathering pointless tech advice and promotional talk from Soobin, not really knowing how else to make their stop last longer. Ella was next to her, smoothly slipping in some casual talk every now and then.

At first, Jennie assumed she was going to ignore everything the boy said. But eventually, he enthusiastically introduced their digital cameras selection, thus gaining Jennie’s full attention.

“I’m not an expert, but would you say any of these are good for an experienced photographer?” she enquired. “Say, someone who intends to do it as more than just a… hobby.”

Ella shot her a curious look at the question, but for once, Jennie had her ears open for whatever rehearsed speech Soobin had prepared. The boy must have noticed her genuine interest, leading her to a display shelf with a bunch of cameras that Jennie could only assume were the real deal. He described most of the brands in detail, occasionally going into highly technical features but following through with simple wording as soon as he saw Jennie confused.

Then, when Jennie questioned which one was better, he picked two cameras and offered to show how pictures taken on each looked. Jennie couldn’t hide her smirk when he asked if Ella was okay with getting photographed (hurriedly adding that he was going to delete them as soon as Jennie saw them, with his ears turning red). Ella posed like a professional and Soobin shyly complimented her, although he quickly returned to Jennie to show the results.

Ella looked extremely pretty in both.

“We have the Leica available for purchase in-store,” he said after offering his top choices. “The Canon should be restocked within the next two weeks. We can have it delivered to you as soon as it arrives if that’s the one you prefer?”

Jennie didn’t really think much. There was not anything to think about, really. She was not an expert; she didn’t know a thing about what made a decent camera other than looking pretty in pictures. All that she could focus on was Lisa. And the defeated look in her eyes when she mentioned her photography. And her kind smile and the warm hold of her hand.

“I’ll take both.”

----

Chapter Text

The night out with Ella was a turning point in the rekindling of their bond. Jennie had forgotten what it felt to have a younger sibling, particularly now that her little sister was no longer a child. The type of conversations they had changed, and Jennie couldn’t believe how easy it was to open up to Ella. Regardless of Jennie’s tumultuous past, it felt nice to have part of her family back into her life, especially when Ella was finally reciprocating the effort in letting Jennie back into hers.

And to think, it was yet another change that indirectly started with Lisa.

Ella had been nosy and asked her about her mystery photographer. Jennie needed more than one evening to tell her about Lisa, so she simply used it as an excuse to see her sister again. She also made Ella promise that she would answer her texts and calls, which was all that Jennie really needed for them to work things out. Not wanting to have awkward encounters with her parents, they parted ways just outside of Ella’s neighbourhood, but Jennie refused to move until she saw Ella enter the gates of her house.

Later in the evening, as she walked up the stairs of Chaeyoung’s building with a heavy bag in her hand, Jennie started to feel a little nervous about her impulsive purchase. She had not really planned to buy two cameras, but she had the money and the intention of getting Lisa what she needed to get back into photography, so the decision was made very quickly. Her only hope was that Lisa would accept it without reading too much into it.

After all, there wasn’t anything to read into.

When she stepped foot on the third floor, the distant, steady sound of glass tapping against the ground made Jennie come to a halt. She only had to make a right turn to reach the door of the apartment, but that was exactly where the noise was coming from. She held the bag with the camera box a little tighter in her hand.

Then, the tapping stopped, followed by one long sigh. With two cautious steps, Jennie poked her head out until she could get a glimpse of the door at the end of the faintly lit corridor. There, slumped on the floor with an almost empty bottle of soju, she saw a very defeated-looking Kim Jisoo.

Jennie furrowed her eyebrows and walked up to the other girl, her confusion evident. Jisoo’s eyes focused on Jennie’s shoes as she came closer, eventually travelling up her body until she could look at her face, glassy-eyed.

“What are you doing?”

Jisoo pursed her lips. She then started tapping the glass bottle against the floor again, making no attempt to stand up or move away from the door.

“She’s not answering me,” Jisoo said in almost a whine.

“Who?”

Jisoo chuckled at the question. “Who d’you think?”

Taking a quick glance around, Jennie became wary of the vicinity of her neighbours. The nearby doors could open at any moment to express a complaint. She looked back down at Jisoo as she reached into her purse to grab her keys. “You can’t stay here.”

“Why isn’t she answering?”

“I don’t know,” Jennie deadpanned, turning the key in the lock and pushing the door open. “You didn’t specify who, remember?”

Jisoo didn’t move an inch from her position. She still sat on the floor with her back to the apartment, now only partially supported by the doorframe.

“She said we can talk,” Jisoo said. “She told me that, but now she doesn’t answer. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Get up.”

“And I try, and I try, and I try, and I still get fucking nothing!”

“And you will continue to get fucking nothing if you don’t get up,” Jennie said with a tight-lipped smile. She squeezed past Jisoo and finally stepped inside, leaving her shopping on a table near the entrance. Then, she gave Jisoo an expectant look, a hand patiently resting on the door handle. “Now, you either come in, or go back home.”

Jisoo threw a dubious glance in her way. Eventually, with a heavy sigh, she pushed herself up with the help of the wall, missing a step when she tried to make a full turn. Jennie reached out to grab her arm, guiding the wobbly girl inside and shutting the door behind them.

Chaeyoung mentioned that she had spoken to Jisoo recently. Well, Jennie didn’t get all the details, but she knew that Jisoo’s number was outside her friend’s blocked list. She assumed Chaeyoung knew what she was doing, but the most likely drunk girl that she had to drag into their living room was suggesting otherwise.

As she lowered Jisoo’s body on the sofa, Jennie took extra care in removing the bottle of soju from the girl’s hand before she could spill the contents on Chaeyoung’s carpet. She then proceeded to grab her shopping bag again and head to her room, opting to change into her pyjamas and leave Jisoo to rest for a while.

Given that she bought the camera on impulse, Jennie didn’t exactly know when it would be appropriate to give it to Lisa. She presumed that it wouldn’t be any time soon since the confession episode was still fresh on both of their minds. Considering this, Jennie simply placed it on a shelf inside her wardrobe, leaving it inside the plastic bag to keep the outer box clean, as well as to hide it from prying eyes.

Jennie had barely pulled up her pyjama’s trousers when the sound of footsteps reached her ears. She huffed in annoyance and rolled her eyes, grabbing her shirt and putting it on rather aggressively. Even without checking, Jennie knew exactly who was wandering around.

The sofa was unsurprisingly empty when Jennie exited her room. Looking around, she spotted Chaeyoung’s bedroom door wide open when it had been closed moments prior.

“Kim Jisoo,” she called as she approached the room with her phone in hand. “You can’t just walk into her bedroom like that.”

No answer followed.

Jennie knew she had no chance of getting the girl to leave.

Jisoo had dropped herself in the middle of Chaeyoung’s bed, both of her arms wrapped tightly around the pillow she was resting her head on. Chaeyoung’s pillow. Although her eyes were shut, Jennie could tell she wasn’t fully asleep.

With her patience running low, Jennie sighed in defeat. There really was no point in finding other ways to deal with her unplanned guest besides the very obvious solution.

Unlocking her phone, Jennie pulled up Chaeyoung’s contact and pressed the video call button. The time difference was of a mere hour, so her best friend was certainly awake. She received confirmation of that when Chaeyoung picked up the call in the comfort of her childhood home bedroom.

“Hey wifey, how’s it going? Everything good with Lisa?” was the first thing she said with a playful grin.

Jennie laughed and stepped inside Chaeyoung’s current bedroom. “You’ll have to wait to hear about that. There’s something else you should see, actually.”

“Yeah? What’s up?” Chaeyoung questioned with a curious glint in her eyes.

Standing right next to the bed, Jennie turned her back to Jisoo, lowering herself until the front camera of her phone had a clear view of who was behind. She could see the exact moment Chaeyoung noticed Jisoo on her bed, her eyes growing wide and a hand coming up to cover her mouth, stifling a surprised gasp.

Jennie raised her hand until it looked like she was holding up Jisoo’s head from the camera angle. “Ta-da!”

“No fucking way.”

“Your lover girl is a bit of a pain in the ass, you know? I’m like, ninety percent sure she is drunk.”

“Drunk?” Chaeyoung repeated in disbelief. “Jisoo drinks like—once a year.”

“Yeah, well,” Jennie glanced back to see Jisoo’s eyes opening slightly. “You might want to tell her why you’re not picking up the phone. I doubt she’s gonna leave your house otherwise.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes softened immediately when Jisoo greeted her with a sleepy smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You look… really pretty.”

“Thank you.” Chaeyoung smiled genuinely. “You look like shit, Chu.”

And for the first time, Jennie heard Kim Jisoo giggle.

Still holding the phone, Jennie patiently waited for Jisoo to continue the conversation, yet only silence ensued. In her drowsy and blank-minded state, Jisoo completely ignored Jennie’s existence. Anything Jisoo was desperate to say had suddenly gone out the window as soon as she laid eyes on the screen.

Chaeyoung had the patience of a saint and spoke to her drunk ex-girlfriend like she was a child getting ready for bed.

Clearly, Jennie was very much out of place. She would have loved to walk out and leave the ex-lovers to their late-night flirting, but she couldn’t leave her phone behind.

Not when she spotted a very familiar name flashing at the top of the screen in the middle of the call.

Jisoo was not really responding, her eyes half closed with a silly smile on her lips as she listened to Chaeyoung talk. Jennie was certain she caught her friend taking a screenshot of the video call at some point.

After the few minutes it took for Jisoo to fall asleep completely, Chaeyoung ensured to tell Jennie it was completely fine for her ex-girlfriend to sleep on her bed.

(She also kindly reminded her to remain civil during her absence.)

“Are you rejecting her calls?” Jennie eventually asked when she left the room.

“Nope,” Chaeyoung sighed. “She’s been calling me on the Korean number. The one I won’t be able to answer until I’m back.”

Right. Jennie recalled her friend forgetting her Korean SIM card at home the day she had to leave. No wonder Jisoo thought she was being ignored.

“You’re gone for a few days and her world falls apart, huh? Good thing she didn’t break down the front door.”

“It’s nice to know she was thinking of me, at least.”

“Do you want me to leave the phone in your room so you can watch her sleep?”

“Oh, shut up!”

After Chaeyoung recovered from her laughing fit, Jennie wished her goodnight, reminding her to call before boarding her plane the next day.

Jennie didn’t mean to be in such a rush to hang up, but the notification icon on the top of her screen had been screaming for her attention since it first appeared.

Instagram: lalalalisa­_m started following you.

Jennie had the urge to click it as soon as it showed up on screen, but she had to let the call end before she could check it out.

When she saw that Lisa’s profile was private, she could only let out a small groan. Jennie was impatient. Only Lisa’s profile picture was visible, a black and white photo showing her side profile with her eyes almost entirely covered by her cap.

The follow request was sent right away.

Lisa had explicitly told her she did not have an Instagram account. Jennie insisted that she should make one given her talent in taking pictures, but Lisa had never seemed interested. And when the request was accepted in a matter of minutes, Jennie realised why Lisa had wanted to keep it a secret.

There were not many pictures posted; Jennie easily scrolled to the bottom with one swipe. The first few pictures must have been taken during high school. Jennie recognised the uniform immediately, which was probably what Lisa had feared when her account was brought up. Just like Lisa had mentioned before, her hair was dyed a very bright blonde. She totally looked like a K-pop idol, Jennie couldn’t deny it.

Then, another notification appeared on top of her screen.

lalalalisa_m:
I guess I should explain

jennierubyjane:
 you said you weren’t hiding anything else
 you promised!

lalalalisa_m:
I forgot!
both to tell you and also my password

jennierubyjane:
 so you never looked through my account?

lalalalisa_m:
well I didn’t say that

jennierubyjane:
 so you did

lalalalisa_m:
well yeah
only recently
your profile is public
jisoo follows chaeyoung and chaeyoung follows you

The smile on Jennie’s lips came so naturally. Lisa was starting to ramble in an attempt to explain her curiosity. Jennie couldn’t blame her; she would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.

jennierubyjane:
  it’s fine lisa
 it’s kinda cute actually

The continuous appearance and disappearance of lalalalisa_m is typing… made Jennie squeal and laugh under her breath. She had a feeling that the girl was flustered behind the screen.

It was surprising how effortless it felt to be so playful after what happened. Jennie was sure that if it had been anyone else, there would have been some awkwardness. She recognised what the feeling was, there was no arguing that there was something there. All that was left was to ensure Lisa felt the same.

Besides, if Lisa used to have a crush on her in the past, there was a slight chance that she could have it once more.

lalalalisa_m:
can I call you?

Jennie didn’t have to read the message twice to dial Lisa’s number. In hindsight, she could have waited at least a few minutes to avoid seeming as desperate as she actually felt to hear Lisa’s voice.

“Hey.”

Lisa’s nervous sigh made a smile appear on Jennie’s lips almost instantly.

“Hey,” she responded.

“Hey,” Lisa laughed and repeated the greeting once again.

“Why did you call?”

“Technically, you did.”

Jennie couldn’t stop a subtle eye roll. “You asked.”

“Yeah. I did. I just wanted to… talk?”

“About?”

“I don’t know. I just thought that after this morning, I ought to check that everything’s okay. With, you know, us.”

“There’s an us?”

Lisa let out an exasperated breath. “Jennie.”

“Everything’s great,” she mused, twirling a lock of her hair around her index like she was fifteen again. “Perfect, even.”

And she didn’t know if it was the way Lisa started to lose the tension in her voice or the sudden blank state of mind that she found herself after her eventful evening, but Jennie just didn’t want to hang up.

Like Lisa mentioned before, Jennie asked her how her day was. Partly because Lisa liked to be asked, and party because Jennie felt like asking. Enthralled by Lisa’s voice, she paid attention to every word that came out of Lisa’s mouth. Hearing her talk felt so therapeutic after a long day.

And maybe Jennie started to feel a sudden moment of bravery in the hours after midnight, but when Lisa started to mumble her words out of sleepiness, Jennie had one last thing to say.

“Lisa.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to see you.”

She could sense the surprise in Lisa’s quiet, “Oh.”

A few seconds of silence later, Lisa hummed once again. “Me too.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow? I finish work early.”

The immediate yes was on the tip of Jennie’s tongue, but all that came out was a tired groan. “I can’t. Have to pack my things for the move.”

And Jennie really couldn’t have chosen a better day to do that.

“That’s okay. We can meet when you’re free.”

“No, no, I…” Jennie ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “Come over? After you’re done.”

“I could do that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow, Jennie.”

It had been years since Jennie felt so giddy while falling asleep.

----

Out of all the things Jennie looked forward to the following day, waking up under the same roof as Kim Jisoo wasn’t exactly on her list. And yet, as she fried two eggs on a pan, she didn’t feel the same resentment as she had months prior. Mostly, Chaeyoung’s big smile the night before made her realise just how much her friend loved that obnoxious woman.

Just as she pulled out two mugs from the cupboard, an awkward clearing of throat reached her ears. Turning around with an unbothered expression, Jennie eyed the clean appearance of the girl opposite her. Jisoo was not wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and her hair was slightly damp. Jennie could only assume she was familiar with Chaeyoung’s house enough to use her shower and clothes.

“Good morning,” she said hesitantly.

“Morning,” Jennie responded, placing the two mugs on the table and reaching for the coffee pot behind her. “Coffee?”

Jisoo looked around awkwardly and pulled at the hem of her (well, Chaeyoung’s) shirt. “I think it’s better if I get going.”

Yet somehow, Jisoo’s eyes were fixed on the dark liquid. The smell of fresh coffee in the morning was probably defeating her plan of escape.

Jennie couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she started pouring the hot drink. “I don’t bite. Sit down.”

Clearly, Jisoo was too hungover to argue. “Do you always wake up this early in the morning?”

“I should be asking you that.” Jennie placed a plate with buttered toast and a fried egg in front of her not-so-wanted guest. “Do you wake up at 6 a.m. after a night of drinking?”

Jisoo shrugged. “Yeah, somehow.”

A moment of awkward silence ensued.

Jennie tapped her fingers on the kitchen table repeatedly as she waited for the other girl to make any attempt at eye contact. Jisoo was too busy moving her egg around with a fork to notice.

“I don’t get it.”

Jisoo glanced up, startled. “Huh?”

“Your breakup. I don’t get it.”

“Just like you don’t get your own breakup?”

Touché.

“Fair enough. But Taeyang and I don’t have feelings for each other anymore,” Jennie pointed out as she sipped her coffee. It tasted more bitter than usual, which she wanted to blame on Jisoo’s presence. “Can you say the same for yourself?”

Jisoo pressed her lips together and pushed away her plate, opting to lean back on her chair and grab her own mug.

“No,” she said. “I love Chaeyoung. More than you think.”

“Then why did you say you weren’t gonna last?”

Jisoo narrowed her eyes slightly. If it had not been so early in the morning, Jennie was certain she would have received worse reactions. “Did she tell you that?”

“Yes. That’s what friends usually do,” Jennie replied with a hint of sarcasm. “But I guess you don’t really know that since you’ve been keeping Chaeyoung like a dirty little secret.”

“I have not done that,” Jisoo rebutted, now sitting up straighter with clear annoyance in her eyes.

“Lisa would have never even met her if it wasn’t for me.”

“That’s because—”

“Because you thought it wasn’t gonna last, I get that.” Jennie interrupted. “It’s just all very stupid to me. Chaeyoung has never done or said anything to make you think that.”

“I know, I know…” Jisoo ran a hand through her hair exasperated. “It’s just… It was too good to be true.”

“Are you being serious?”

“I’m almost thirty, okay? And I—”

“I can tell,” Jennie commented bluntly.

Jisoo glared at her, before continuing. “And I dedicated the last decade of my life entirely to my career. Every partner I’ve had got fed up and left because of it, so when Chaeyoung didn’t, I convinced myself it was only a matter of time before she, too, would get tired. When she broke up with me, I told myself it was expected. Over and over.”

“So, you just ruined something good for the sake of being right?” Jennie deadpanned at last.

“No. I ruined something good because I’m simply a dumbass,” Jisoo shrugged, returning to her drink with a disheartened look.

Jennie’s lips formed a slight smile. “At least you’re self-aware.”

“Thanks.”

Every complaint that Chaeyoung had about her relationship with Jisoo aligned with the girl’s reluctant explanation. Jennie understood that Jisoo’s issues with previous partners likely influenced her attitude, but ultimately, there was only one person who deserved to hear the full story.

Lack of communication was what got the couple to their current state. If Jisoo were to be completely honest with her, Chaeyoung would finally get the result she had hoped for.

And if Jennie knew her best friend well, she predicted that it wouldn’t be the end of the road for the two.

“What’s your plan?”

Now more comfortable and awake, Jisoo grabbed a slice of toast and took a generous bite. “Plan for what?”

“Winning Chaeyoung back. What are you gonna do next?”

Jisoo swallowed her food and chuckled under her breath as she rubbed crumbs off her hands. “We’re barely talking again. Nothing’s happening.”

“You’re a lost cause.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m trying to help.”

“She’s not even in the country.”

Jennie crossed her arms and leaned on the table. “She’s back tomorrow.”

“When?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she smirked teasingly, watching Jisoo try to act like the newfound information didn’t interest her.

“Yes, actually.” Jisoo cleared her throat. “Please.”

“I told her I’d pick her up from the airport.

“Well, when she’s back I’ll ask her to—”

“No, listen to me,” Jennie said firmly. “She’s expecting me to pick her up from the airport.”

“Okay?”

Jennie sighed heavily. She really had to spell it out.

“She’s expecting someone at the airport. That someone is not gonna be me.”

“You mean I can…?”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I mean.”

Uncertainty flashed across Jisoo’s features. But when she looked into her eyes, all Jennie saw was determination. “Okay. I’ll pick her up.”

“Lovely. My job is done here.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Jennie stood up and collected her dirty dishes. Considering she still had work and a special someone to see later in the evening, she expected a long day ahead of her. Behind her, Jisoo remained in her seat as she finished eating.

“I’m gonna be leaving in about ten minutes. Feel free to stay as long as you need.”

“That’s weirdly kind of you.”

“That’s because Chaeyoung said so, and it’s her house,” Jennie said as she wiped her hands with a towel. “If it was up to me, you would have been out hours ago.”

“Good thing I’m not dating you.”

“You’re not dating Chaeyoung, either.”

“Again, fuck you.”

As Jennie walked out the kitchen, Jisoo turned and called out to her.

“What time is her plane landing?”

Jennie didn’t even try to hide her mischievous grin. “At 4 a.m.”

----

Packing sucked.

Having to gather all her things in limited boxes right after a day of work was not enough to test her patience. It turned out that Jennie also had no clue about how to fit things in boxes.

“Stupid fucking plates,” she gritted out as she played Tetris with her old plates and cups that had not been touched since she picked them up from her previous place. She had not even glanced at the cutlery yet.

The living room was a complete and utter mess. Jennie opted for a mix of cardboard boxes and plastic containers, which were now all scattered across the floor, coffee table, and sofa.

When she had picked up her belongings from Taeyang’s place, Jennie had been too annoyed to think about organising anything. She thought shoving everything in the boot of Yeri’s car would have been enough. Chaeyoung had made space for some of the items in her small storage room, while Yeri offered to keep the rest temporarily in her house.

Her cousin had conveniently dropped off everything at Chaeyoung’s place that afternoon to make it easier for the moving company to collect everything and deliver it to the new address.

Jennie didn’t have a lot of stuff, but she certainly had enough to make her struggle. Her clothes were yet to be folded and placed neatly in her suitcases. Her work materials were still in her room. But the random junk that she had carried over from her old home was still lying around. Jennie had been very petty and taken anything she paid for with her own money. That included random books, CDs and vinyl, kitchen utensils, and of course, a printer (again, she paid for it). 

In hindsight, sorting her stuff in containers ahead of time would have made her life so much easier.

Jennie’s hair was falling out of what used to be a neat bun, her knees hurt like a bitch after being on the floor for the past hour, and her outfit wasn’t the comfiest considering she had not changed out of her work blouse and trousers. Yeri just had to drop off her belongings right as she was back from work.

And yet, when the doorbell rang, all of her concerns vanished, and she was up on her feet in a matter of seconds.

While she was aware her appearance couldn’t be saved at that moment, Jennie still paused before the door to make sure her shirt was neatly tucked into her trousers, pushing loose strands of hair behind her ear and fixing her collar. Putting on her best smile, she pulled the door open.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Lisa looked so good. Jennie couldn’t help giving a quick look-over. Lisa had been waiting with her hands in the pockets of her oversized jacket, a grey hoodie underneath. A cap was on her head like usual, but Jennie met her eyes easily.

“Hello,” she greeted, hoping her voice sounded steady.

Lisa smiled timidly. “Hey. You look…”

“Like a mess?” Jennie laughed as she stepped aside, motioning for Lisa to come in.

“No, just… good.”

Jennie turned around before Lisa could see her blush, walking back to the living room with Lisa on her tail. “Thanks. So do you.”

Somehow, Jennie’s game was completely gone. She had no clue where the daring, confident girl from when she first started dating Taeyang went. It reminded her of the date with Sooyoung, where she was hyperaware of everything and clearly very weak around pretty girls.

“Do you have to pack everything today?” Lisa questioned as she took a glance around what used to be a clean living room. Jennie lifted a box from the sofa and stacked it on an empty one on the floor, making space for her guest.

“Ideally. The truck is coming to pick up everything in two days, but Chaeyoung is back tomorrow, and I’d rather not bother her by leaving it to the last minute.”

“How long have you been at it?” Lisa questioned, looking down at Jennie’s formal attire.

Jennie let out a tired sigh. “About an hour now. I got the stuff and the boxes. Just not… together.”

She then reached up to her bun and removed the claw clip holding it together, letting her hair fall down her shoulders. If Jennie had glanced up, she would have noticed Lisa’s eyes following the motion intently.

“It’s probably better to get into comfy clothes. Do you want anything to eat?”

Lisa pressed her lips together and shook her head, looking anywhere but at Jennie’s eyes. “No, uh, maybe later?”

“Sure. Sit down and make yourself at home, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as she was in her room, Jennie closed the door behind her and leaned her back on it. She took a deep breath to calm down, noticing her heart beating a little faster and her fingers trembling slightly. She hoped Lisa didn’t detect how nervous she truly felt. She didn’t want her to think anything had changed.

“Everything is fine,” Jennie whispered to herself as she started to unbutton her blouse. “Everything will be completely fine.”

Everything was NOT fine.

After changing into a more comfortable sweatshirt and leggings, Jennie felt like she had the time to compose herself. Behaving like she normally did should not have been a problem. But when she opened her door and saw Lisa on the floor arranging her plates neatly in a stack, every word of self-assurance left her mind.

Lisa had taken off her cap and jacket, but also got rid of her hoodie, revealing the sleeveless black shirt underneath. Jennie tried SO hard not to stare at how attractive the girl looked doing absolutely anything, but it turned out to be incredibly difficult.

“You don’t have to do that.”

Lisa merely shook her head with a small smile. “It’s no problem. Two people work faster than one, right?”

Jennie laughed as she sat herself on the carpet. “Yeah, except I didn’t get anywhere.”

“Hey. At least you have plenty of boxes and bubble wrap.”

To Jennie’s surprise, Lisa was actually extremely efficient in organising her stuff. The random clusters of items around the room were slowly decreasing, until all that was left were lined up boxes against the wall.

Jennie liked to think she helped, but sometimes she found herself too busy admiring Lisa’s arm muscles as she lifted stuff around. They could have easily lifted her, Jennie thought.

By the time they were done, Lisa had dropped herself on the carpet with her back against the sofa, stretching her legs out.

Jennie went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, returning and holding it out for the seated girl.

“Thanks,” Lisa said a little out of breath.

“I feel like I should be paying you.”

Lisa took a swig of water before shaking her head repeatedly, “Not at all. It was kind of fun.”

Jennie just HAD to notice the drop of water that missed Lisa’s mouth and ran down her neck.

“Fun?” she finally replied.

Lisa shrugged, putting the cap back on the bottle. “I don’t mind it if it’s you.”

And there she went again, making Jennie feel like she was more special than it seemed. Lisa couldn’t possibly be flirting, but Jennie’s cheek started to warm up regardless.

“Only me?” she questioned slowly.

Jennie watched as Lisa started to panic, her eyes growing a little wide.

“I mean—yeah, like, I don’t mind helping you. I like helping. Anyone. But also, you. Especially you.”

“Especially me?”

Lisa let out the most defeated groan as she dropped her head back in shame. “I was trying so hard not to make it weird.”

Jennie laughed quietly. “Weird how?”

“Oh, you know,” Lisa gestured between them. “Pretending that you didn’t find out I had the biggest crush on you in high school.”

“No one said anything about it being big,” Jennie pointed out.

“I don’t give letters out to small crushes.”

“I suppose you have a point.”

Jennie climbed on the sofa and sat herself comfortably as Lisa remained on the floor.

“Does it really not bother you?” Lisa turned to face Jennie’s new position, lifting her arm to rest it alongside the sofa’s edge.

Her hand was just within reach, Jennie observed. And yet, she curled up her fingers and held her own hand firmly by her side to avoid following her impulses.

“Not in the slightest,” Jennie shook her head with a smile. “It’s been eight years, Lisa. Way past the statute of limitations on love confessions, I believe.”

“Right,” Lisa said as she averted her gaze. “It was a dumb confession either way.”

“Why do you say that?” Jennie questioned as she reached to her side, going unnoticed by Lisa who still kept her eyes on anything but Jennie.

“Oh, I don’t even remember.” Lisa laughed nervously. “I’m sure it’s just gonna remain a distant memory now.”

“Dear Jennie Kim,” Jennie started reading out loud, “if you’re reading this letter, it means that I finally got the courage to speak to you.”

Lisa’s head whipped around at the familiar words, eyes growing wide in shock as she spotted the yellow envelope that Jennie held between her fingers. Jennie had very subtly pulled it out of the nightstand beside the sofa as Lisa spoke, not resisting the urge to bring it up.

“That, or I was too much of a coward and left it on—”

Not wasting a single second, Lisa jumped up and desperately reached for the embarrassing piece of paper. Unfortunately for her, Jennie was quicker, moving the letter out of reach as she pushed against Lisa’s shoulder with her free hand.

“There’s no fucking way you still have that,” Lisa blurted out.

Jennie was pretty sure she could not stop smiling even if she tried. Fixing her eyes back on the paper, she quickly read a couple more lines while she could. “From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I have not been able to stop thinking about you.”

“PLEASE,” Lisa almost yelled in a high-pitched voice, finally able to grasp the corner of the yellow envelope.

Always one step ahead, Jennie took the chance to free herself and leave the sofa, safely taking the letter with her while abandoning the empty envelope in Lisa’s hands. “Sometimes I stay at the front gate and wait for your dad’s car to come by and drop you off—”

Jennie ran to the other side of the living room as Lisa chased after her. “—just so I can start my day by seeing how beautiful you are.”

By the time she finished the sentence, Jennie had made an entire lap around the living room. Her cheeks hurt from how wide her grin was.

Reaching the sofa again, she climbed back up on it, this time standing as high as her legs allowed her to. Lisa was immediately after her, holding her by the waist with one arm while the other was stretched straight above.

Knowing her time was limited, Jennie skipped to the last paragraph.

“You have become the reason my heart feels happier these days. I know you have everyone’s eyes on you—”

Jennie shrieked as Lisa pulled her whole body down, making them both fall onto the carpet out of breath. Lisa had immobilised every part of her, trapping her waist between her legs. In that position, it was fairly easy to snatch the letter out of her hands.

But it didn’t really matter, because Jennie had read the words over and over the past night. So much that they seemed imprinted in her mind.

Lisa looked down at her with flushed cheeks and sheepish eyes. Jennie probably didn’t look any better with sweat making her hair stick to her forehead.

“And I’m just one of many others,” she continued to recite between breaths, “but I can’t live—”

“—with the regret of never telling you how much I like you.” Lisa finished off, much to Jennie’s surprise.

“And you said you didn’t remember, huh?”

Lisa couldn’t resist mirroring Jennie’s bright smile. “It’s hard to forget something you spent multiple nights pouring your heart out on.”

“I give it a ten out of ten.”

“Why do you still have it?”

“I don’t really have an answer for that.” Jennie sighed. “I’m just glad I do.”

“So that you can tease me until my dying breath?”

“So that I can imagine what it feels like to receive a love confession from you.”

Lisa finally moved away from Jennie’s body, dropping beside her to lay on her back as well. “You felt that eight years ago.”

“Turns out I didn’t,” Jennie pressed her lips together, slightly ashamed to admit it. “The letter was still sealed when I found it.”

“Well, maybe it was better that way.”

A strange silence hung in the air. Jennie thought it was the right time to move on completely before the situation got too uncomfortable, but Lisa soon continued.

“I was just wondering, you know, if you had read it.” Jennie turned her head at the hopeful tone, but Lisa refused to make eye contact. “If, hypothetically, you were open about liking girls even in high school, would you have considered it then?”

“Probably not,” Jennie replied immediately.

“Right,” Lisa laughed nervously, “of course, I mean, I was just wondering. That’s all. Of course not.”

“I was months away from graduating,” Jennie explained calmly. “I was never going to start a relationship at that time. Besides, if I were to date any girl during high school, I would have picked Park Jihyo.”

Lisa paused, trying to remember. “The student council president?”

“She was totally my type.”

Lisa rolled her eyes and elbowed Jennie’s arm gently as the other girl started laughing. “Yeah, yeah. Didn’t she get the top athlete suspended for drinking or something?”

“Yes, my ex-boyfriend. And it was for smoking on the rooftop after school.”

“You found that attractive?”

“I found bad boys attractive, and I found Jihyo telling off bad boys attractive.”

“Huh,” Lisa mused, still looking up at the ceiling. “I knew my chances were close to zero, but this just confirms it.”

Jennie turned her body towards Lisa, propped up on her elbow and resting the side of her head on her hand. Her eyes scanned Lisa’s soft features, attempting to decipher if her statement was made out of disappointment.

“What was your type?”

“You,” Lisa responded almost too quickly. She shut her eyes and brought her hands up to her face in embarrassment soon after.

Jennie felt a little evil with her moderately loud snort. “Thanks. I figured.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Lisa mumbled, moving her hands back to her stomach. “I just, well, I only really liked you in high school. I didn’t really look at anyone else, so… I guess that made you my type.”

The longer she looked at her, the harder Jennie found it to not lean over and just press her lips to that pretty little mouth. Listening to Lisa talk always brought out an unconscious smile from her.

“Are you not gonna ask me?”

Lisa finally dared to glance towards Jennie’s kind gaze. “What?”

“What my type is now?”

“Gym guys with a model’s face?”

Jennie winced. “Yeah, right. That didn’t work for me.”

“So, what does?”

“Having a type is pretty limiting, don’t you think?”

Lisa rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re the one that asked.”

“You were dying to know.”

“I was not!” Lisa said in protest. “And you’re the one going on dates. You should have an idea of what to look for.”

“I simply don’t anymore. I figured that once someone’s right for me, I’ll just feel it.”

“What if no one makes you feel like that?”

Jennie smiled. “I’m sure someone will.”

Someone already has.

----

Chapter Text

Jennie woke up to the smell of fresh coffee.

It alarmed her at first, in her half-asleep state. The night before, she recalled falling asleep in an empty house since Lisa had refused to sleep over after dinner.

So, the fact that there was coffee being made and Jennie wasn’t the one making it was rather concerning.

After getting her fluffy slippers and robe on (she certainly wasn’t going to confront an intruder in her shorts and tank top), Jennie cautiously approached her closed door. Pressing her ear on it, she momentarily hoped that the smell and sounds coming from the kitchen were purely from her imagination. But once she confirmed that they were very real, she was left with no choice but to grab her stainless-steel water bottle and hold it like a baseball bat.

Opening the door as slowly and quietly as possible, Jennie finally got a view of the empty living room. While it was mostly still dark, a sliver of light could be seen coming from the kitchen.

As Jennie decided to step out of the safety of her bedroom, she silently chastised herself. From all the horror movies she had watched, she should have known that investigating alone was a move made by dumbasses who had no common sense.

Jennie did not want to be a dumbass.

The closer she moved to the kitchen, the firmer was her hold on her weapon of choice.

Just as she made it to the kitchen entrance, two curious pairs of eyes met hers, and the arm holding up the bottle fell dramatically to her side.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she complained, placing her free hand on her waist in a disappointed stance. “I thought I was gonna get murdered. And robbed.”

Chaeyoung only smiled back. Leaving her uncooked eggs on the stove, she joyfully ran towards Jennie, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug.

“I missed you!”

Jennie weakly returned the embrace, still recovering from her unnecessary fright. “Yeah, yeah. Welcome back. How was your flight?”

“It was great!” Chaeyoung responded cheerfully.

Definitely not the tone Jennie would have had if she had to catch a flight past midnight. She wanted to question the sudden good mood, but something was telling her it had everything to do with the guest Chaeyoung brought home.

“Are we gonna address the elephant in the room or?”

“Who are you calling an elephant?”

Jennie expected a snappy response, but Jisoo also appeared to be completely at peace. Unlike the previous morning when they had an awkward breakfast together, Jisoo was definitely glowing in that moment.

“Bold of you to make demands when you ditched me at the airport,” Chaeyoung added with a slight pout.

“I didn’t ditch you,” Jennie clarified. “I got you a chauffeur.”

Jisoo was about to protest once again, but Jennie was quicker to remove herself from the conversation. It was way too early for her brain to keep up, and she didn’t want to start her morning by bickering with Kim Jisoo. Again.

“Anyways. I’m gonna go ahead and use the bathroom first. Please make extra eggs for me.” She started backtracking her steps, shooting Chaeyoung a pointed look to remind her that their discussion was far from over. “And then I’ll leave for work.  And then I’ll come back. And we can talk.”

When she got out of the shower, Jennie couldn’t suppress the smile on her lips as she saw the ‘Good morning’ text from Lisa.

It was embarrassing, really.

Jennie’s day at work went on as usual. The same meetings, the same project plans, the same deadlines. But during her breaks, Jennie was constantly on her phone. She had the urge to open her messages every few minutes, which was highly unprofessional. It almost felt like being back in high school, trying to hide her texting under the desk with the constant fear of being caught.

It wasn’t as though they had never texted before. If Lisa’s messages had remained the way they normally were, Jennie wouldn’t have batted an eye. But somehow, it was the first time Jennie truly felt like her conversations with Lisa were blurring into flirting territory.

For instance, Jennie had complained that her clothes made her feel weirdly itchy today. It was something she would have texted any friend in mindless discussion. But when Lisa asked her ‘what are you wearing?’, Jennie had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning like a fool.

Knowing Lisa, the message was likely not meant to be suggestive in any way, but who could blame Jennie for having a little fun with it? She had been on her way to the bathroom then, and seeing the opportunity, she fixed her hair and retouched her makeup a little. Then, once she was satisfied with her pose, she snapped a quick mirror selfie and sent it to Lisa.

Unlike their earlier messages, Jennie would definitely not send that kind of photo to a friend so casually.

Lisa continued to type for a few moments, while Jennie walked back to her office as if nothing happened.

When she sat back down at her desk, she saw Lisa’s reply.

Lisa
you look really pretty
13:45

Lisa
you always do
13:45

Jennie really did not want to turn a very simple compliment into a big deal, but the way she felt herself blush and squeal while looking down at her phone was proving her otherwise.

It was getting harder to navigate her growing feelings without knowing where the line was between friendship and more. Jennie had no way to read Lisa’s mind, so she couldn't confidently tell whether her advances were seen as such.

In a moment of bravery, she typed a quick message to tell Lisa it wasn’t fair that she was the only one exposing her outfit of the day. The tone of her request wasn’t exactly flirtatious, but Jennie supposed it didn’t harm anyone to take one step at a time.

Lisa’s own photo followed soon after, not in a mirror but rather a regular selfie. Unlike Jennie’s sultry pose, Lisa simply held up a peace sign and smiled in her work cap, polo shirt, and apron.

As she pressed save photo, Jennie tried to convince herself that Lisa would have done the same with her picture.

----

Upon returning to Chaeyoung’s apartment, Jennie immediately noticed the soft music playing from the TV, although the sounds did not manage to completely hide Chaeyoung’s soft giggles. Jennie casually stepped into the living room with an inquisitive look, spotting her friend lying lazily on the sofa. One hand was pressing her phone to her ear, while the other mindlessly played with the drawstrings of her hoodie.

Jennie almost rolled her eyes at the overly sentimental tone of her voice, though not maliciously. Remembering the days she’d come home to Chaeyoung’s red-rimmed eyes, seeing her best friend’s genuine smile was extremely precious, regardless of who was causing it.

Chaeyoung caught her gaze and gave her a small nod, lifting herself into a sitting position.

“I’ve gotta go. Jennie just came back.”

Jennie removed her coat and scarf as Chaeyoung continued to give hushed replies.

I’ll see you soon. Text me when you leave. Get home safely. I love you too.

It was almost sickeningly sweet, yet Jennie would not act any different if she were in a caring and loving relationship with someone she was crazy about.

As Chaeyoung hung up her call, she stood up and finally greeted Jennie with a hug.

“Hey, girl. How was work?”

“Are we really going to pretend that my day at work is the topic of interest right now?”

Chaeyoung playfully bit her tongue. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Is that so?”

“Hmm.”

“Does the girl that you brought home this morning ring any bells?”

“Oh, don’t say it like that!” With flushed cheeks, Chaeyoung crossed her arms and shrugged. “It’s pretty obvious what happened.”

“Are you going to tell me willingly or do I have to bribe you?”

“Depends. What are you offering?”

“I’ll order whatever you want for dinner.”

“Deal,” Chaeyoung nodded instantly.

Jennie didn’t comment on the fact that Chaeyoung had not stopped smiling once.

After a quick shower and a change into comfier clothes, Jennie spent the remainder of her evening listening to Chaeyoung’s recount of her reconciliation with Jisoo.

Unlike her initial secretive attitude, Chaeyoung was more than ready to share every single detail of her restored love life. The excitement was so evident that even if Jennie hadn’t generously offered to pay for their food, the joy in her eyes would have remained regardless.

“Did you get angry when you saw her at the airport?” Jennie questioned initially, aware that Jisoo’s sudden appearance was due to her own involvement.

As her interrogation session began, Jennie opened the two boxes of Korean fried chicken she had just collected from their door, handing Chaeyoung a plate and tissues while her friend poured a mix of beer and soju into her own glass.

“If my grudge stayed the same, I would’ve been pissed. But since we started talking again, I just felt nervous around her,” Chaeyoung admitted, leaving her soju bottle securely on her side of the table after Jennie refused a glass for herself.

“Nervous is good. Nervous means you care.”

“Hmm, correct. Except, in that moment, being nervous made me panic.”

Chaeyoung took a generous sip of her drink, which Jennie presumed gave her enough encouragement to elaborate.

“I saw her before she saw me, you know? She was looking at the wrong door when I came out of the arrival gates. And she had this adorable look on her face that made me want to pinch her cheeks and kiss her all over.” As she said the words, Chaeyoung’s lips curved into a silly grin, as if she was envisioning that memory. “So, logically, I turned around and walked away as fast as I could.”

Still chewing on her boneless chicken, Jennie raised an eyebrow dubiously. “Logically, you say.”

“My fight or flight instinct kicked in.”

“You just… walked away?”

Chaeyoung winced. “Well, I tried. My stupid ankle did that thing where it suddenly gives up on me and twists weirdly. I tripped like an idiot.”

“Rosie!” Jennie cooed sympathetically, though she couldn’t stop her amused giggle. Falling in front of the girl she was in love with was extremely in character for her best friend.

“I know!” Chaeyoung groaned, lifting a pillow to her face to hide her grimace. “So embarrassing! And of course, Jisoo was the first one to hear my screech.”

“That’s what you get for trying to escape my plans.”

Chaeyoung slapped her shoulder so hard that Jennie almost fell off her seat. Breaking into laughter, Jennie placed her free arm along the back of the sofa to steady herself, relieved that she had not been holding anything with her chopsticks.

“Okay, fine. What happened next? Did she romantically lift you up in her arms and carry you to her car?”

“No. She’s a doctor, remember? Her immediate response was to kneel in front of me and inspect my foot like a true professional.” Hugging the pillow to her chest, Chaeyoung sighed wistfully. “Just like the first time we met, she melted my heart with her doctor voice and her caring eyes. Do you have any idea of how attractive she looks when she’s in work mode?”

“Uhm, not really—”

“She’s so hot. And so gentle. And suddenly I started remembering all the ways she made me fall for her. Because it wasn’t fair that she could take care of me so well but not be with me. So, when she asked, ‘where does it hurt the most?’, I got emotional and just…”

Chaeyoung paused and licked her bottom lip, making Jennie nudge her and prompt her to continue.

“I pressed my hand to my heart and said here.”

Jennie’s jaw dropped.  “You did not.”

“Oh, I did. And you know what she said, while I was all vulnerable with an aching ankle?”

“What?”

“I’ll take care of that too.”

While Jisoo had never really impressed her, Jennie had to admit that as soon as the words left Chaeyoung’s mouth, she let out the most dramatic squeal of excitement. Who knew that Kim Jisoo had it in her to be so direct? If their conversation the previous morning was of any indication, Jennie assumed her attempts at winning back her best friend would have been more hesitant.

From Chaeyoung’s bashful grin, Jennie knew she hadn’t been the only one that was surprised.

The next moments were filled with her best friend gushing about Jisoo’s grand romantic gesture. Jennie listened closely, appreciating Chaeyoung’s sparkling wide eyes as she described the extensive explanation and subsequent apology she received for… everything, really.

Putting all her cards on the table seemed to have worked wonderfully for Jisoo. Honesty resolved a lot of issues, Jennie concluded.

But Jennie’s focus wasn’t only on Chaeyoung’s words. As she stared down at her friend’s spotless plate on their coffee table and the almost full box of crispy chicken that Chaeyoung seemed to have completely forgotten, Jennie could only smile endearingly.

Because that said everything Jennie needed to know.

Love was quite wonderful when it didn't cause pain.

“It’s what you wanted, right?”

“It’s more. In my ideal scenario, I just needed Jisoo to apologise and tell me she loves me. But she actually opened up to me. It means she’s serious about us, right?”

“Of course,” Jennie said with a nod. “That's why she was always coming back to you.”

Her eyes dropped to her lap for a second, thinking about her own situation. Was that why she always felt like being with Lisa? Was it serious for her as well?

Being attracted to someone was nothing out of the ordinary. There were plenty of good-looking people around that Jennie might have occasionally eyed. But genuinely liking someone and feeling a constant pull towards them was far deeper than simple attraction.

Lisa wasn’t just a pretty girl that Jennie walked past on the way to work, nor a ten-minute crush she found during a single train ride.

No—Lisa was the person that was slowly taking over every moment of Jennie’s day and night, in a way that was completely effortless. Jennie had no plans to stop her from doing so either.

Liking Lisa wasn’t enough. Jennie didn't think she had ever wanted someone quite this badly, and the possibility of it not being reciprocated was utterly painful.

Chaeyoung noticed the shift in atmosphere immediately.

“Is something wrong?” she asked tentatively.

Jennie sighed, sensing the inevitable new direction of their girl talk. “Not wrong… just different.”

If there was one person Jennie could never keep secrets from, it was Chaeyoung. She didn’t even need to be persuaded to blurt out her newfound feelings for Lisa, especially when Chaeyoung was the one that called it from the start. And if being right about their compatibility was all there was to the reveal, Chaeyoung wouldn’t have had anything to be surprised about.

But when Jennie casually dropped the news of Lisa’s past confession, her friend’s knowing smile vanished, a shocked gasp replacing it instead.

“That has to be destiny!”

“Or a very big coincidence,” Jennie said. “That was years ago either way. It doesn’t mean she’d feel the same way now.”

“Don’t be silly,” Chaeyoung slapped her thigh lightly. “If she had a crush on you in high school, she doesn’t stand a chance against adult-you.”

“But that’s the problem, isn't it? Just because she liked me then doesn’t mean she’d be attracted to me now.” Jennie scrunched up her nose. “I would throw up at the sight of any of my high school boyfriends.”

Chaeyoung was not having it. She turned to face Jennie fully, putting her hands on her friend’s shoulders and looking straight into her eyes.

“Jennie,” she started with a deep breath. “You’re hot as fuck.”

Jennie rolled her eyes.

“I mean it! There’s a reason I hit on you when we first met.”

“Okay, but Lisa isn’t you. She might have a different type.”

“You also have a great job!” she exclaimed next. “Financial stability is SO attractive.”

“I’m hoping that’s not the only reason people would want to be with me.”

“Of course not,” Chaeyoung was quick to add. “You know how to cook. You have better fashion sense than anyone I know. You give great advice. You take care of people you love. There are so many reasons why anyone would be lucky to have you, including Lisa.”

“Right. Taeyang didn’t think any of that.”

“Girl,” Chaeyoung almost whined. “He’s gone. Like, forever. Not relevant anymore.”

“I really can’t help it, Rosie. I keep having these doubts about what I did wrong whenever I think about him.”

“I thought it didn’t bother you anymore since you started dating again.”

“Yeah, but I need to know what mistake I made. So that I don’t repeat it.”

Not with Lisa, Jennie wanted to say.

The closure Jennie needed from her relationship with Taeyang was vastly different from the type Chaeyoung got from Jisoo. Her intention had never been to get back with him. Finding out what was broken in her relationship wasn't aimed at repairing her previous one, but rather ensuring her next one would never suffer from it.

If she really wanted to pursue Lisa, she had to make sure she wasn’t going to give her a reason to dump her out of nowhere.

“What if it was him? You said you saw him with someone. Maybe that’s why he needed to break up with you.”

“But if you really love someone you don’t go looking at anyone else!” Jennie said exasperated. “Did you ever get interested in someone else while with Jisoo? Or while you were separated?”

“No… I—”

“And did Jisoo meet other people?”

“Not that I know of—”

“—she didn’t! I don’t even have to ask because anyone could tell she’s head over heels in love with you.”

Taeyang used to be head over heels in love with her. Taeyang told her he could see them getting married. Jennie thought the same. At what point did those feelings turn into lies?

“Jennie, love, you need to breathe,” Chaeyoung stated calmly.

Jennie closed her eyes and exhaled. Then inhaled. Then exhaled again.

“Sorry. I got carried away. It just bothers me whenever I think about it.”

“I can tell. But you really need to stop carrying all the blame for the end of that relationship. It sucks that you never got answers, but you either forget about Taeyang, or go speak to him about it.”

“I can’t do that. I don’t want to see him.”

“Then you know what to do.”

It had been months since the breakup. Jennie would lose all her remaining dignity if she showed up at Taeyang’s door now. She couldn’t do that. She’d rather make sure their paths never crossed again.

“I’ll just forget about him.”

“And?”

Jennie stared at her friend blankly. “And what?”

“And make a move on Lisa!”

Feeling her cheeks heat up immediately, Jennie dropped her head back against the sofa’s backrest and covered her eyes with her elbow out of embarrassment. Chaeyoung’s almost maniacal laugh made her groan out loud.

As she pressed her palm to her forehead and brushed back loose strands of hair, Jennie shot her friend a playful glare. “I feel like I’m going insane.”

“You’ve got it so bad, Kim.”

“Tell me about it,” Jennie sighed. “I was so close to kissing her yesterday. I was really tempted.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Jennie said with a shrug. “It didn’t feel like the right time. I should probably tell her I’m into her before kissing her, no?”

“Not necessarily,” Chaeyoung pointed out. “Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Didn’t you kiss Sooyoung when you went on a date?”

“Yeah, but that was different. Lisa and I have history. And we’ve only ever worked towards friendship. I don’t know how to make it… non-platonic.”

“I’d say writing you a love letter is pretty non-platonic, don’t you think?”

“Again, that was in the past.”

“I’m just saying, you need to stop expecting the worst. If you genuinely like her, just give it your best shot,” Chaeyoung said with kind eyes.

Jennie nodded slowly, feeling reassured. The worst-case scenario would be Lisa rejecting her and ending their friendship. Considering Lisa had already mentioned not wanting to lose her over a failed confession, Jennie hoped the feeling remained true even if she was the one risking it all.

“I’m just gonna tell her. I have to do it.”

“Over a date?” Chaeyoung suggested.

“Probably,” Jennie started. Then, she shook her head. “I’m moving to the new place in a few days. I’ll be busy settling in. I can’t go on a date with a wardrobe that’s half empty.”

“You could always invite her over for dinner?”

“That would be too forward, wouldn’t it?” Jennie mentally facepalmed. “My cupboards would be empty. Why did I even consider it? She’d have no reason to come over.”

“She could help you unpack.”

“But you’re coming to help me unpack,” Jennie stated. “You said you would.”

“I could,” Chaeyoung nodded. “Just like you could have come to the airport yesterday. But you didn’t.”

“So, you’re saying I should…?”

“Oh, I’m saying you must.”

----

As usual, the world was against Jennie progressing with her love life. She did not get to see Lisa the following days, nor the following weeks. She had been too busy to even think about meeting her.

The first obstacle came when the moving company that was supposed to deliver her belongings to her new address sent her a notice of an unforeseen delay. Thankfully, Jennie had been smart enough to keep her clothes and essentials in suitcases that she would have brought herself, but that didn’t change the sad reality of having an almost empty apartment. So, while she finally had the keys to her new place, she couldn’t do much in it.

As if that was not enough to stress her out, she also had to attend a few meetings in London over the weekend. Jennie didn’t mind travelling, but having to go on a business trip while she was in the process of moving houses was not the most convenient situation to be in.

Jennie knew that her workload was about to get more intense with the new season’s collection. She couldn’t just drop her career for a sentimental life that had not even started. That was the rationality that kept her going when she landed at Heathrow with three hours of sleep and an abundance of caffeine in her system.

“How long is the trip to the hotel?”

“About forty minutes without traffic,” Mina responded while looking at their itinerary on her tablet.

Jennie only hoped her dark sunglasses were good enough to hide the tiredness in her eyes. “And is there traffic now?”

“It’s 8 a.m., I’d say it’s likely,” Lia said with a frown as she hung up a call. Jennie knew it had been Ryujin on the other end of the line, checking that her girlfriend landed safely. “Luckily the meeting is at midday, so we have plenty of time.”

When she was informed about the trip, Jennie had personally requested for Lia to be included. She thought it would have been a great opportunity for her to be involved in a big project, and that she’d definitely appreciate the experience abroad. Or at least, enjoy it more than Jennie did in that moment.

Hearing that they were nowhere near finished with travelling, Jennie didn’t even have the energy to complain, silently following her team to the parking lot without any further comments.

The drive to the hotel wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.

Lia was almost glued to the car window, enjoying the views of central London. Jennie was highly irritable, the constant moving and stopping of the car in the traffic definitely not ideal for resting.

Mina had her diary out, filled with neat handwriting on colourful post-its. As she talked them through the topics of the meeting, Jennie nodded along absent-mindedly, while Lia enthusiastically asked for extra details or clarification.

The new collection. The Big Four fashion weeks. The magazine photoshoots. The latest ambassadors. The runway models.

They arrived at the hotel a little before 10 a.m., allowing Jennie to head to her suite and drop herself face down on the king-sized bed.

Egyptian cotton sheets and premium feather pillows were never part of her complaints. Jennie couldn’t even imagine the price tag attached to such comfort, simply glad that she’d never have to see it. The perks of business trips, she figured. Her mind kept telling her she should take some time to freshen up before they inevitably had to leave again, but the soft duvet was holding her hostage.

Just a few seconds. She wanted to keep her eyes closed just for a little while.

But then her phone rang.

Instinctively, Jennie refused to move a muscle in the hopes that whoever felt the need to disrupt her ten seconds of peace would choose to hang up before she decided her ringtone went on for long enough to pick up.

The ringing didn’t stop.

Jennie groaned as she reluctantly pulled herself away from the bed. She walked to her bag and grabbed her phone from inside. Once she read the name on the screen, she paused in surprise, and then hurried to accept the call before it was too late.

“Hello?”

“Jennie—hi! I mean... is this not a good moment? I can totally call back another time—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she rushed to assure. “I just didn’t expect it.”

“Right. I just thought… Ryujin mentioned you were going to London with her girlfriend today, and I didn’t get to speak to you before you left.”

It was hard to tell whether Lisa had expected Jennie to tell her she was going abroad. She didn’t particularly sound disappointed to have heard it from someone else, but Jennie didn’t want her to feel like she was not important enough to tell her personally.

“I’ve been busy lately,” Jennie said. “Work has been heavier than usual. My mind is all over the place. I’m glad you called.”

“Yeah… it’s been a while. Was your flight okay?”

Jennie sighed tiredly as she dropped herself back on the bed, this time with a faint smile on her lips.

“It was long. Very long. I’m exhausted,” Jennie said honestly.

“When will you be back?”

“Miss me already?”

“No, I mean, yes, kind of, but not like—”

“Relax. I was just teasing. I’ll be back on Monday hopefully. It’s just a weekend trip.”

“That’s not too long,” Lisa mused quietly to herself, with a hint of what Jennie wanted to believe was relief.

“Not too long at all,” Jennie confirmed, her tone steady enough to conceal her delight at the perceived meaning of Lisa’s response.

Frankly, Jennie was also bothered by the extensive time she spent away from Lisa.

“Well, I hope you have a good time. And take some rest.”

Jennie couldn’t help but wonder if Lia received this kind of attention when Ryujin called. The kind that made her feel like someone was looking out for her wherever she was in the world. The kind that made her want to drop everything and run back home.

“I’ll try.”

They spoke for a few more minutes. Or maybe more. Jennie wasn’t really counting when her attention was entirely on Lisa’s soothing voice. Having just left work, Lisa wasn’t on a time limit, so the one to cut their call short had to be Jennie. She didn’t want to. She wouldn’t have minded being on the phone with Lisa for the rest of the weekend.

But when a knock came at her door, followed by Mina’s voice alerting her they had five minutes to get down to the lobby, Jennie had to go back to reality. She tried to prolong the end of their call as much as she could, but she sensed that Lisa understood it was time to hang up.

Jennie hoped that Lisa also felt the urge to see her again. She’d feel pathetic if the longing was completely one-sided.

When they said goodbye, she left the unspoken 'I miss you too' hanging in the air.

----

Jennie had worked her ass off in the studio the past year. The new collection was her baby, she had been taking part in its creation from the start. And yet, as she sat surrounded by men and women in suits, staring blankly at a presentation of events and plans she had already taken note of in Seoul, she couldn’t help but think this meeting could have been written up in a document and emailed to her.

Mina, her angel of an assistant, was silently writing down the crucial points in her notebook. Jennie had taken the liberty of zoning out, knowing that reading Mina’s bullet points would give her everything she needed to take from that meeting. And if by any reason they weren’t, then she was sure that Lia would be able to recite the entire presentation to her, given the focused look on her face throughout. Either way, Jennie’s own pen and paper seemed pointless. She twirled the elegant ballpoint pen around her fingers to keep herself occupied.

For a few moments, her mind drifted to other places. Jennie could use some food after the meeting. She should probably take Mina and Lia out for dinner, even though she was yet to find a restaurant in London that was worth returning to. They could order some pizza at the hotel if they couldn’t find anywhere nice. Jennie wasn’t on a strict diet like she had been when Taeyang came with her to work trips. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that ordering takeout was the best idea. The weather wasn’t exactly splendid, she didn’t want her colleagues to get sick after the trip.

Her daydreaming was abruptly interrupted by Mina’s elbow nudging her side. Jennie shot her a perplexed glance, only to see Mina’s pupils motioning towards the presentation screen.

With an initial squint of confusion, Jennie’s eyes scanned the projected slide displaying various models and celebrities. Each picture was captioned with the name of a renowned fashion magazine, confirming who were the final choices for photoshoots.

And then she spotted him.

Yoo Taeyang. In all of his shirtless glory.

Jennie barely had the time to whisper a stunned “what”, only audible to Mina, before the presenter continued to speak.

Fashion magazines were a vital part of promoting an upcoming collection. Concepts and cover looks were planned months in advance, and selecting the models or brand ambassadors was always a strenuous process considering all the parties that had to give the green light.

The fact that her label chose Taeyang for Vogue Korea was astonishing.

At first, Jennie felt herself freeze at the sight of her ex-boyfriend’s image. Her hand stopped playing with her pen and her eyes were fixed forward, but she begged them to stare at anything else. Anything that wasn’t Taeyang’s face, nor his name in big bold letters.

Then, she began to reason. Taeyang was easily one of the top male models in Korea at the moment. It wasn’t just her label that wanted him; there were plenty of luxury brands that would pay a lot of money to have him. His career grew just like hers in the past three years. Jennie couldn’t blame them, Taeyang had that million-dollar face.

Perhaps it was Vogue that put him forward. The Calvin Klein photos they were showing to introduce him were taken for a photoshoot with that same magazine, after all. It had probably been the most life-changing moment of Taeyang’s career, but still not as grand as being featured on the cover. From his perspective, giving that up just because his ex was involved would be incredibly stupid. Even Jennie could understand that.

And yet, she couldn’t believe how awful the timing was for her label to agree and pick him up. Why couldn’t they have hired him last spring, when they still lived happily under the same roof? Why did they decide to make her work with him when she just began to explore her feelings for someone else?

Chaeyoung wasn’t going to believe it. So much for the forget about him plan.

Jennie didn’t pay attention to the rest. She didn’t care about some Hollywood actress opening the runway show in Paris, nor the ambassadors invited to whichever of the big fashion weeks. All she could focus on was the inevitable run-in that she would have with Taeyang.

Her mind had not moved on even as they left the conference room. Mina had looked at her with worried eyes throughout the meeting. Jennie knew she wouldn’t mention it yet. It wasn’t exactly a topic to be discussed in a work setting.

They didn’t talk about it on the way to the parking lot. They didn’t talk about it during the car ride back. They didn’t talk about it when they entered the hotel lobby, parting ways with Lia who had to make yet another phone call. (It was Ryujin. It was always Ryujin.)

Once she and Mina stepped in the lift leading to their floor, Jennie felt like she could finally breathe again.

“I think I’m going to pass out.”

“You haven’t passed out during the meeting. I doubt it can get worse, Jennie.”

“Oh, it can. Or are you gonna tell me that I can completely avoid my ex-boyfriend for these events? That there is not a single schedule where I have to see or speak to him?”

“I really wish I could tell you that,” said Mina sympathetically.

The doors of the lift opened on the seventh floor, allowing both girls to step out while a few other hotel guests stepped in. Jennie waited until they had no audience to continue her rant.

“It’s like they waited around for us to break up before contacting him. As if I had not tried to get him on a minor photoshoot two years ago. It makes no sense.” Sighing deeply, Jennie rubbed her temples in frustration.. “And the worst part is that I can’t even do anything about it.”

Mina placed a hand on her back, a gesture of silent support. “I know it’s hard for you. But I promise to try my best at minimising your contact with him. I’ll take all the phone calls, write the emails. You only have to worry about Vogue.”

When they reached her suite’s door, Jennie had to refrain herself from banging her head against it.

“You’re literally the best. I think I’d fall apart without you.”

“I should also inform you that he’s coming to the studio to get the fittings done.”

Banging her head against the door sounded even more appealing.

“Do I have to be there?” Jennie knew it was a pointless question. Mina wouldn’t have mentioned it if she wasn’t involved.

“Sadly, yes. Stylist Lee will be doing most of the work, but they need you to decide on the final outfits for the photoshoot concept. We’ll have the collection pieces available on the day to see how they look on him.”

“Is there no one else that can do it?”

“Jennie,” Mina called softly. “This is the project you spent days and nights working on. Do you really want someone else to make the decisions? Are you really going to let Taeyang take that from you?”

With her back pressed against the wall, Jennie let out a defeated breath. Mina was right. Her professional life collided with her personal one, but it was ultimately up to her to decide which one she would let win her over.

Thankfully, she still had several weeks before she had to face him. She had Christmas and New Year's to recover. She could be ready by then.

Jennie had let Mina know that dinner was on her that evening, and to charge whatever she and Lia wanted on her card. She had also kindly asked her to put an order for a pizza with mushrooms for herself. Jennie wasn’t going to let Taeyang get in the way of her and her pizza ever again.

----

Somehow, her flight back to Seoul felt even worse than her flight to London.

Jennie had no one to blame except herself, really.

After returning from the first meeting, she had slept all evening, leaving her awake at 2 a.m. with no one but her thoughts. At some point, she had texted Chaeyoung about the Taeyang situation, promising they will talk when she’d get back. Jennie had also mentioned not having the greatest time to Lisa following yet another ‘good morning’ text from the girl. Well, it had definitely been morning in Korea when she sent it.

Afterwards, Jennie had pretty much stayed awake until it was time for their final meeting early in the morning (London’s, that is). She had been more involved in that one since they discussed the collection itself, not the marketing, so at least the trip hadn’t been a complete waste of her time. They headed to the airport right after it ended.

Under the false impression that she would be able to sleep on the plane like a baby, Jennie convinced herself that she’d surely make up for the lost sleep before they landed.

Out of the twelve hours spent in the air, Jennie only managed to somewhat sleep for about two.

The plane ride wasn’t even the issue. The seats were comfortable, and there were no annoying kids in business class, forming a dream environment for a normal passenger.

Unfortunately for Jennie, the nagging thought of having to deal with a situation out of her control was keeping her wide awake. She found it impossible to put her mind at ease, already feeling the tiredness seeping back into her body as she imagined the journey back home.

Well, if she could even call it home.

Having to wait for her new mattress to be delivered, Jennie had been sleeping at Chaeyoung’s for a few more nights. It conveniently arrived the day she had to leave, so she was yet to even put it on the bed frame. She already dreaded having to carry it to her bedroom before even getting to lie on it.

At some point, she had turned to Lia, noticing that the girl had just finished her second movie on the flight.

“Lia, are you going home by taxi? Mina’s going with her friend, but I can pay for your ride.”

“Oh, no need! Ryujin is coming to get me. But thank you for offering!”

Jennie nodded in reply, leaning back on her seat with slumped shoulders. It must be nice to have someone waiting, she thought to herself. It wasn’t like Chayeoung hadn’t offered, but Jennie knew she was busy with the café after her trip to Australia. She wondered if Lisa was on shift while Ryujin was heading to Incheon.

By the time they were back in Korea, Jennie felt like a ghost. Her eyes were the biggest giveaway of her exhaustion, so she had to put the sunglasses back on. It was early in the morning; the sun rose just in time to make her look a little less weird.

They went past border control smoothly, and they didn’t have any checked-in luggage to wait for. Jennie couldn’t wait to go back to her bed. Or sofa. Her bed was definitely not ready for comfort.

Mina left first since her friend was already at the arrival gates. Given that Jennie only needed to call a taxi, Lia insisted for her to get going as well, but Jennie had no intention of leaving the younger girl alone at the airport. Besides, she was certain that Ryujin would hunt her down if anything happened to her girlfriend.

Jennie went over Mina’s notes as they waited, unable to avoid Taeyang’s name as it came up over and over. But when Lia yelled “Over here!”, waving her arm above her head energetically, Jennie instinctively took off her sunglasses and turned her head to examine the crowd of people around.

She had been looking for Ryujin. Jennie’s eyes scanned for pink hair and a brooding stare. But all she could see were the kind, doe eyes that stared right back at her. Those brown eyes that she had not seen for too long. Jennie slowly put down the notebook on top of her carry-on, her enthralled gaze still locked on the incoming figure, wondering if her condition had worsened to the point of hallucinations.

It couldn’t be a mirage, no. Not when those eyes were accompanied by that smile Jennie adored. Not when the figure approached her in a couple of long strides, arms opened just slightly. Opened enough for Jennie to step forward and get caught into them.

“What are you doing here?” she exclaimed in disbelief. Her hands moved from Lisa’s shoulders to softly hold her cheeks, the girl’s bright smile matching her own.

“Hey, you. I was worried it would be a bad surprise.”

Jennie shook her head, “Not in the slightest. I’m so happy you’re here.”

She wanted to kiss her.

Lisa’s mouth was right in front of her.

Jennie pulled her face closer, pressing her lips against Lisa’s flushed cheek before tightly wrapping her arms around her neck. “Missed you a little.”

“Yeah? A little?” Lisa questioned in a teasing tone, most likely to hide the shock Jennie noticed when she got so close to her face. Lisa’s hand was soothingly rubbing her back, and Jennie could have easily fallen asleep right there and then.

“Very little. Almost negligible.”

She heard Lisa scoff. Right before she felt her lips on the side of her head.

The clearing of a throat made them separate sooner than Jennie would’ve liked, though she felt no awkwardness from either herself or Lisa at the interruption. They simply pulled away from the hug, with Lisa’s arm still around her waist as they both turned towards Ryujin’s expectant gaze.

“I know you said you just needed a ride to the airport, but I can drive you back as well.”

Lisa hesitated, but Jennie jumped in before she could come up with an improvised reply. “It’s fine, I was going to get a taxi either way. Get my newest team member home in one piece, thank you.”

Ryujin rolled her eyes unimpressed as Lia giggled beside her. The pink-haired girl picked up her girlfriend’s small suitcase with her free arm, the one that Lia wasn’t holding. “Well then. I’ll see you at work, Lisa.”

Jennie returned Lia’s bow as she left, watching both girls go through the exit to the parking lot.

“So,” she said as she linked her arm with Lisa’s. “Did you wake up and feel the need to spontaneously come to the airport?”

Lisa laughed as she reached for Jennie’s cabin luggage, swatting away Jennie’s hand when she tried to take it back.

“It’s fine,” she murmured as she slipped the notebook into the unzipped front pocket. “Where to?”

Jennie pointed to the escalator, indicating the way to the taxi station. She pulled at their linked arms to lead the way.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Hmm?” Lisa hummed distracted as they got on the escalator. “Ah. Well, you know. Just thought to myself, why not? And here I am.”

“Why not?” Jennie repeated incredulously. “Your job. Sleeping in. There were plenty of reasons not to come.”

Lisa looked down at the small suitcase to avoid her eyes. “Dunno, I just felt like it.”

They silently made their way to the station for taxis to Seoul. After Jennie arranged for a ride, they easily slipped into the back of the vehicle. Thankfully, the driver was not the chatty type. Jennie had secured a peaceful half an hour with Lisa. And who could blame her for spending it with her head on her shoulder?

Lisa did not seem to mind at all.

“Will you tell me?” Jennie quietly asked again, her eyes shut. “Why you came today?”

She heard Lisa exhale slowly. Felt the slow tap of her fingers on her knee. “You sounded really tired when I called you the other day. And yesterday you said you weren’t feeling great. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

The warm sensation that took over Jennie’s body was beginning to feel too familiar. “You didn’t have work today?”

“We usually close early on Sunday, but Ryujin picked up the extra shift saying Lia would be back this morning. I worked with her so we could open at a later time today instead. And then asked her if I could tag along.”

 A smile tugged on the corner of her lips. “Did she ask why?”

“Just had to say your name.”

Jennie hummed contently.

They got to her apartment too quickly for Jennie’s liking. After her sleepless day, napping on Lisa’s shoulder had been a blessing.

Lisa refused to go home immediately. After hearing Jennie’s dilemma of being bed-less, she insisted on helping her get her mattress ready. Lisa was good at lifting things. She easily carried her end of the mattress, while Jennie had to drag hers. Jennie had gotten rid of the plastic wrapping all by herself to make up for her lack of arm muscles.

Once the mattress was nicely put on the bed frame, Jennie ran back to the bags she left by the entrance filled with essentials from Cheayoung’s house. She pulled out bedsheets and the flattest pillow ever, alongside a thin blanket. Fortunately, the apartment’s heating was enough to keep her warm. Lisa aided her with placing the bedsheets, laughing at her lonely pillow on the enormous bed.

After briefly leaving  the bedroom to take a quick shower, Jennie returned to the sight of Lisa sitting on the edge of her bed, aimlessly staring at the opened suitcases on the side of the room.

“I know. It’s a mess.”

“The place is really nice,” Lisa commented. “A bit empty, but nice.”

“My stuff is stuck in some storage somewhere. I’ll get it this week thankfully. Although, I’m pretty sure I’ll procrastinate on unpacking as long as I can.”

“I’m free right before the weekend if you need help unpacking the things I packed,” Lisa offered humorously.

Jennie celebrated in her head. The fact that she didn’t have to outright ask Lisa to come over helped her maintain a bit of her pride. She really wanted to avoid looking too desperate.

“You know I won’t say no to that. I’ll call you when everything arrives,” Jennie said, stepping closer and draping her towel on the back of a chair. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?”

“Oh, no.” Lisa rubbed her hands on her thighs and stood up. “I should leave now.”

“You don’t have to,” Jennie said, sitting down next to the spot Lisa had just occupied. “You said you didn’t have to work until later today.”

“You need to rest, Jennie.”

“I know, I’m not asking you to party with me,” she replied amused.

Jennie shifted to the other side of the bed, lying down on her side with her head resting on her arm. She patted the space beside her. “You can rest too. I’m sure waking up at the crack of dawn tired you out as well.”

“You only have one pillow.”

Jennie shrugged. “It can fit both of us.”

Lisa still stared at her with dubious eyes.

With the opportunity to spend more time with Lisa slipping away, Jennie was down to her last resort.

“Does the idea of sharing a bed with your high school crush make you nervous?” Jennie teased at last, her smile growing wider at Lisa’s subtle eye roll, which didn’t quite manage to mask the surprise in her gaze. “Please, just until I fall asleep?”

Maybe it was Jennie’s pleading eyes, or the cheeky smile she always used to get what she wanted, but Lisa finally gave in. She climbed back on the bed, this time taking off her jacket and leaving it on a suitcase with a pile of Jennie’s clothes. Jennie never took her eyes off her, waiting until the other girl laid her head on her same pillow. Until she was close enough to hear her breathing.

“Hey.”

Jennie grinned. “Hey.”

“Sleep.”

“I can’t sleep on command.”

Lisa brought her hand to Jennie’s forehead, gently hovering on her eyelids until Jennie shut her eyes with a small laugh. “That’s a start.”

A few hours ago, Jennie would have passed out as soon as she lay on something soft. But in that moment, she tried to keep herself awake for as long as she could.

“You didn’t answer.”

Even without seeing her, Jennie heard Lisa’s deep exhale, prompting her to open her eyes again.

“Lisa from high school would have gone into cardiac arrest if she knew she’d share a bed with you one day.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Jennie said softly. “Are you nervous now?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Maybe a little.”

Jennie’s lips curved into a smile unwillingly.

Nervous is good, she had told Chaeyoung. Jennie wondered if Lisa being nervous was also a good sign.

“Do you miss her?”

“Who?”

“Jennie from high school.”

“You’re one and the same.”

“Not true. I’ve aged.”

“And you’ve done it beautifully.”

Under the faint light provided by the bedside lamp, Jennie truly hoped Lisa couldn’t see her blushing cheeks. Lisa’s eyes remained focused, seemingly unaware of the effect her flattering words had.

“Sometimes I just wonder if you see me differently,” Jennie admitted, her throat feeling dry.

“Why?”

“I’ve changed a lot,” Jennie said quietly. “The Jennie you liked so much back then must be very different from the one I am now.”

“How would you know?” Lisa teased, “I’m the only one that remembers.”

“Lisa,” Jennie whined.

An uneasy feeling settled in Jennie’s stomach as she skirted around the real concern troubling her mind.

Lisa had met two versions of her: one that she had a crush on years ago, and one that she was currently friends with. But the problem was that whichever part of Jennie made Lisa fall for her in the past might have disappeared.

It wouldn’t have mattered if they were just friends. Lisa clearly didn’t mind having her around. However, if Lisa only liked her romantically in high school, then Jennie would be left competing with a version of herself that she could never go back to.

“Do you remember the vending machines at the very bottom of the school's left wing staircase?”

“Huh?”

The change of topic came so suddenly that Jennie barely registered the question. The blatant confusion in her eyes stole a quiet laugh from Lisa.

“The school put them there for the sports teams before they moved to the new building. They rarely worked, so they weren’t exactly popular. But… they had this specific drink. It was a green bottle—”

“The green tea!” Jennie blurted out in excitement, the memories of the drink coming back to her.

The guy she used to date was on a few of the sports teams, but she had only gone to see him once in that building due to how far it was from her class. She hadn’t liked him enough to make all that effort.

And yet, finding that particular drink was the only reason she was willing to walk all the way to that area of the school over and over.

“I used to love that one.”

Lisa nodded with a smile. “Yes, I know. It’s the reason I met you for the first time.”

“Really? How?”

Jennie wasn’t sure what intrigued her more—the reveal of a first meeting that she never recalled, or the tenderness in Lisa’s gaze as she spoke about it.

“It was by mere chance. You were standing there with the most devastated look on your face. I was just passing by, but you grabbed my arm so firmly and asked if I had any spare change.”

“I didn’t carry coins around.”

“I’m aware. You handed me a banknote that was ten times what I gave you in exchange,” Lisa quipped.

“That’s it then?” Jennie questioned sarcastically with a subtle raise of eyebrow. “You fell for my immense wealth?”

“No!” Lisa reassured, a hint of amusement in her tone at the incorrect insinuation. “I stood by as you inserted the coins one by one. And you clasped your hands together as you waited for the drink to drop, and then made little happy noises as you finally took it out of the machine.”

“It was a treat, okay? I wasn’t allowed any drinks with sugar at home,” Jennie justified, slightly embarrassed that Lisa had not only been a witness to her green tea addiction, but also remembered it so clearly. “And they always took months to refill the machine. I had to get it before it was gone.”

“I bought it once you left, you know?” Lisa mused. “Just to know what caused you such happiness.”

“Yeah?”

“It was the most disgusting thing I had ever tasted.”

Jennie pushed herself up from her position so fast, her hands finding Lisa’s waist as her fingers pinched both her sides.

“Take it back!” she demanded, her cheeks hurting from the wide grin Lisa had so effortlessly provoked.

Unexpecting the sudden attack, Lisa shrieked hysterically, her head dropping back against the pillow as laughter spilled from her lips. It easily became one of Jennie’s favourite sounds.

Lisa’s hands soon grabbed hers, pulling them away from her ticklish zone.

“That’s the one,” Lisa remarked through slow breaths, chest rising and falling steadily as her eyes locked onto Jennie’s.

“What?”

“The smile you gave me back then,” Lisa said fondly. “High school or not, it’s one and the same.”

Jennie felt it then. Even when she had no recollection of their first meeting, the sheer adoration in Lisa's tone was an exact reflection of the words written in that heartfelt letter.

I'd give anything to be the reason behind your smiles.

It was a sentence included amidst all the other paragraphs that Lisa had thoughtfully written back then. So brief that Jennie wouldn't have realised it meant so much.

But now she understood.

Changing the past was never something that Jennie thought of. She strongly believed that everything happened for a reason, and she was grateful that it led her to the life she got to live now.

But if she could, she'd go back in time and give Lisa all the smiles she wanted. The rare kind that Lisa captured so wonderfully in that silly school booklet.

Jennie would make sure Lisa knew they were all just for her now.

It was happening far too many times to count, but yet again, Jennie wanted to kiss her.

If only she hadn't returned from a twelve hour flight, if only she hadn't stayed up for most of it, if only Lisa didn't know her so well to sense her tiredness from miles away, then perhaps she would have.

Before Jennie had the chance to make a move, Lisa pushed her back down on her side of the pillow, making comments about the need to rest that Jennie wasn't really listening to.

She heard Lisa dip her arm into the mattress to lift herself and reach over to Jennie’s side, switching off the nightstand lamp. She felt Lisa’s arm brush her shoulder as she retreated to her spot, silently wishing it had stayed around her.

Egyptian cotton didn’t even come close to the luxury of having Lalisa Manoban next to her in bed, Jennie realised.

And with the lack of sleep making her thoughts blur, Jennie was left to voice her only wish out loud.

“Stay,” she whispered.

“Until you fall asleep,” Lisa said.

“Until I fall asleep,” Jennie repeated her own words.

Words that formed her second lie of that day.

Jennie didn’t want Lisa to leave. Asking her to stay until she fell asleep had been a cowardly way to obtain a mere fraction of what she truly wanted. But she couldn’t be greedy. Even when she selfishly wanted to wake up and have Lisa beside her, she couldn’t demand that of her.

For the time being, falling asleep next to her was enough. It had to be.

The other lie was, obviously, that Jennie only had one pillow.

----

Having a new address was never easy. Jennie had lost count of how many letters still kept being delivered to Chaeyoung’s address, as well as the ones she would never retrieve from Taeyang’s home.

At least, the truck transporting her belongings got to her building just fine. She had the help of some workers from the building’s lobby to carry every box into her apartment. They stayed there since, only a handful opened. Jennie had been waiting for Lisa to confirm a day she would be free to come over. She needed some boxes to stay unpacked, just in case Lisa figured out that Jennie didn’t invite her just for her strong arms.

The apartment seemed less empty now. It started to feel a little like home, eventually. Even the afternoon concierge and the security staff started to become more familiar with her, greeting her with a smile whenever she entered. Jennie had interacted with them more than her own neighbour, really.

In Jennie’s defence, it didn’t seem like her neighbour wanted to know her either. The only interaction they had wasn’t even in person. A package had been wrongly delivered to the apartment next to her, and her neighbour just left it outside Jennie’s door. It was safe, considering only residents could enter the building and there were cameras on every floor, but it would have been nice to meet the only other person living on her floor.

Work was still a bit of a headache. Hearing the words Vogue or Taeyang put her in a bad mood instantly, but Mina had meant it when she said she’d handle most of the admin work. Gradually, Jennie began to see his name as nothing more than a job responsibility.

However, when the highly anticipated day arrived, Jennie didn’t let anything ruin it for her—not her workday, not her commute, not even getting a bit lost on her way back to the new building. She wanted to be in her best form when she opened the door for Lisa.

The old man behind the desk in the entrance area smiled at her when she returned from work. Jennie mirrored his greeting as she walked in the building, a sense of excitement growing with each step she took.

The main lift was quite nice. Sometimes there was music playing, sometimes there wasn’t, but it was kept clean all the time. Jennie took advantage of the big mirror to check her appearance when she entered. There were times where she shared the ride with other residents, who left before or after her floor, but being alone made her feel more at ease.

When she stepped out of the lift, she paused to check her phone. She had a missed call from Chaeyoung, followed by a message wishing her good luck with her ‘date’. Jennie laughed quietly, using one hand to type a reply while the other rummaged in her coat pocket for her house key.

Once she took out her jingling keys, she looked at her door lock, freezing. Right, her new apartment used a keypad lock. She’d get used to it with time. Putting her keys back in her pocket, she began pressing the six numbers that would open her door. The quiet beeping of the key presses distracted her from the noise of the lift reaching her floor again. She always ignored it since it never stopped there.

This time, it did.

Just as she heard the sharp confirmation sound of her lock, the lift doors behind her opened, and a surprised voice sent a chill down her spine.

“Jennie Kim?”

It was a bit embarrassing that Jennie still recognised that incredibly sweet tone. When she turned around slowly, she realised that the big, bright eyes also remained the same. She was glad she wasn’t holding keys then, certain that she’d drop them just at the sight before her.

“S-Sana?”

----

Chapter Text

Minatozaki Sana had always had all eyes on her.

When Jennie first met her, with her long hair dyed orange and a cigarette between her fingers, she thought that Sana wasn’t the big deal people made her out to be. They were the same age, attended the same university under different courses, and yet Jennie couldn’t think of a single reason to approach her. The girl used to live in her same student dorms, waking up past midday and coming home way after midnight, reeking of smoke or alcohol, or both. Finding herself in Sana’s orbit had been a nuisance, really.

It was really different from her life in Seoul. Jennie had never drunk alcohol or smoked; either habit would have gotten her in serious trouble with her school and parents. While she had liked to hang out around people that were far from innocent, she never partook in the deviant activities herself.

Sana changed it all.

Sometimes Jennie wondered if her pretence had been obvious from the start. If the way her eyes were irrevocably drawn to the other girl had been apparent all along. Because, after all, the real reason Jennie had always highlighted her disdain for Sana was to hide the immense attraction she hid underneath it. A type of attraction that she spent years suppressing.

It had been unfamiliar territory. Jennie had never even got the chance to explore anything with a girl. She never had the time to understand what those feelings meant, too preoccupied in ensuring they were never shown in the first place.

Except, there wasn’t much one could hide from Minatozaki Sana. She always knew who had an interest in her. She looked at Jennie with that mischievous glint in her eyes, one that made Jennie weak in the knees.

Initially, Jennie wanted to avoid anything and everything related to the orange-haired beauty. She didn’t want to speak to her, nor be in her proximity if it could’ve been avoided. Sana never chased after her. Sana didn’t chase after anyone. Not when she had anyone and everyone at her feet without lifting a finger.

Jennie was thankful for Sana’s indifference. Until it started to bother her.

Because the next thing she noticed was that Minatozaki Sana didn’t hide.

It happened multiple times. Jennie would come back late from her classes, or Sana would return too early from wherever she spent her nights. Jennie’s dorm windows had a clear view of the entrance of the building, so she could hardly miss the guests that Sana brought over. Always women, always beautiful. While they usually went up to Sana’s place in a rush, sometimes they loitered outside, unknowingly under Jennie’s watchful eyes.

At the start, Jennie simply panicked and shut her curtains immediately. Then, she began to pause a few minutes before deciding to look away. Until she simply stopped pretending that she didn’t like the view.

That was how Jennie first witnessed how Sana liked to kiss women. She also noticed how Sana’s hands were always wandering, whether it was over someone’s jeans or under their shirts.

Sana always knew she was watching. Sana always made sure to look in her direction at least once, because Sana liked that Jennie wanted to watch.

Jennie had been ready for glaring and yelling. She expected to be told off for shamelessly staring at not-so-private moments. But Sana didn’t do any of that. No, Minatozaki Sana always flashed her a smirk and continued like she never saw her.

At the time, Jennie had known she was being tested. Sana wanted to push all her buttons to see how far Jennie was willing to go. But she never made a move.

Every time she saw the other girl, Sana acted as if nothing happened. Indifference, as usual.

But it went from making Jennie feel reassured, to driving her insane. She felt an envy she had never experienced before. When Sana batted her eyelashes at pretty girls, giggling at jokes that Jennie was certain were not that funny, when she gave subtle touches that never went unnoticed by Jennie… it was then that she started to wonder.

How would it feel to have Minatozaki’s attention? How would it feel to have her hand tracing her skin? How would it feel to kiss her lips until she was left breathless?

Back then, those questions scared her tremendously.

But now, as she looked at a more grown version of Sana, she felt like it had been inevitable.

The orange hair was gone, now in her gorgeous natural brown instead. Her eyes were somehow brighter… kinder, too. That daring, rebellious spark had vanished completely. She also wore fashionable loose jeans with a plain white cardigan. Not the mini-skirts and leather jackets that filled her wardrobe years ago. But she was still absolutely stunning, Jennie wouldn’t deny it. Truthfully, Sana’s fashion sense had always been great.

“Sorry, I wasn’t prepared for any guests.” The girl held down the lid of a white tea pot as she poured the hot drink into a matching cup. “I hope lemon and ginger is fine.”

“It’s great,” Jennie replied quietly, still a little in disbelief. Sana was right in front of her, offering tea and biscuits, with a gentle tone that made her feel welcome. “I’ll be honest, this coincidence feels absurd.”

Sana smiled. “I suppose I felt the same, though I was prepared in advance.” She leaned back on the sofa opposite Jennie, picking up her own teacup. “When I read Jennie Kim on that package I received by mistake, I tried to convince myself it couldn’t be you. But it opened the possibility that it might be.”

“Is that why you didn’t return it to me in person?”

“That’s part of it,” Sana said. “I also don’t really greet new neighbours. The less I give them reasons to be in my business, the more they mind theirs.”

“I see,” Jennie nodded. “Is it because of your modelling? Do people recognise you?”

Once again, Sana only smiled. An innocent smile that gave nothing away. “Again, that’s part of it. But I see you’ve kept up with my life?”

Jennie laughed, shaking her head. “Not in the slightest. It just happens that your career is sometimes relevant to mine.”

“Hmm. Tokyo, almost two years ago, if I recall correctly.”

Jennie raised her eyebrow, surprised. “Oh, you did know.”

The fact that she could name the time and place was news to Jennie. Sana had not looked at her even once throughout that event. For her own sanity, she just assumed Sana had not noticed she was there too.

“So did you,” Sana rebutted. “I was on the runway wearing the name of the label you design for. You must have known before me.”

“I found out at the event, actually. I wasn’t involved with that collection, so I didn’t know who was going to model for us.”

“And even then, you didn’t want to speak to me?”

“I wasn’t sure if you would have wanted me to.”

It was a fair concern. Whatever they had back then couldn’t have been classified as a relationship, and the way they ended things hadn’t exactly been a breakup. It had been easy to fall in love with Sana, and Jennie was sure the girl loved that. But Sana had never loved anyone enough, or at least, not for long. Some days Sana would look at her like she was her world, and the next her gaze was empty. Until there was nothing left.

“Oh. I’m sorry if that’s how I came across. It’s not the case, I promise you.”

“I can tell,” Jennie commented, gesturing to their current setting. “I’m guessing I wouldn’t be here right now if it was.”

“Well, I was hoping we’d run into each other eventually. I’ve always wanted to personally apologise for how I went about things in the past. You really didn’t deserve it, even though I’m sure you already know that.”

Out of everything Jennie was expecting Sana to say, an apology wasn’t on the list. She was taken aback by the sincerity in her voice, waiting for some sort of catch.

Jennie didn’t think that Sana ever realised how much she hurt people, but that was only because she never did it intentionally. The girl had always made it clear that she didn’t look for love or a relationship.

“It wasn’t your fault that people wanted more than you could offer, Sana.”

“You were not just anyone, Jennie. I convinced you to be with me even when it scared you. And then I just left.”

“I’m sure you were aware that I didn’t need that much convincing.” Jennie smiled softly. “And I knew you couldn’t stay. It’s what made everyone want you even more.”

While Sana leaving had hurt her, Jennie had always been prepared for it. It would have never worked out with her. Jennie had been willing to put all the effort into making an impossible relationship work, while Sana saw love as a day-by-day test that was destined to fail someday.

For a moment, Jennie was reminded of Lisa’s drunken words. She couldn’t hold a grudge over someone who was so clearly never meant for her.

“I could have definitely handled it better than just slowly disappearing from your life. You told me how you’d never been with a girl before and I wasn’t a very good first… relationship, of sorts.”

“That’s not true,” Jennie insisted. “You were always kind to me. And a huge part in helping me accept myself for who I am. I’m not sure how my life would be right now if I had never met you, and I wouldn’t want to find out either. I accept your apology if that worries you, but I don’t have regrets.”

Sana's shoulders fell in relief, the concern on her face finally fading to welcome a grateful smile. “I’m happy to hear that, really. And I’m very proud to see the person you’ve become.”

“I could say the same,” said Jennie with a bright tone. “I’ve seen your success in Japan. I didn’t know you lived in Korea now.”

“I… yeah, I moved here last year. Fairly recent, I guess.”

“For your job?”

“Not really, no,” Sana finished her last sip of tea, placing it back on the coffee table gently. “It’s more than that.”

“More?”

Jennie didn’t get the time to express her confusion as little taps came from the stairs. Suddenly, two tiny dogs made their way to them. The first had golden-coloured fur, noticeably energetic as it ran towards the front door and sat a few feet away from it, tail wagging side to side. The second one, with black fur instead, moved timidly to Sana’s feet, the girl not hesitating before picking it up and placing it on her lap.

“This is Kaya,” Sana introduced excitedly, waving Kaya’s paw at Jennie. Kaya just stared with her big eyes, comfortable on Sana’s lap. Jennie waved back.

“And that’s Butter,” Sana motioned to the other dog near the door. “She knows her mum is coming back soon.”

“Her mum?”

As if on cue, the beeping of the keypad could be heard from outside, before the door opened.

The girl that entered was tall, Jennie noticed immediately. Tall and incredibly beautiful. She was met by Butter running up to her and circling around her. The girl leaned down to pick the dog up, smiling at the joyful welcome.

Jennie stood up once she approached them, receiving a curious and timid smile as they both bowed in greeting. Sana didn’t get up, instead opening her arms wide and beaming cheerfully.

“Welcome back my love!” she said in an extremely sweet voice.

The girl walked towards her and bent down, but unlike Jennie’s expectation of a hug, she simply kissed the top of Kaya’s head, petting her lovingly. Sana didn’t look disappointed, merely dropping her arms back down with the same radiant air around her.

Noticing Jennie awkwardly sitting back down, Sana spoke up.

“Tzuyu, this is Jennie, our neighbour. And an old friend of mine.”

Jennie tried to stop herself from showing any reaction at the mention of being an old friend. Instead, she just returned Tzuyu’s polite smile. Upon closer inspection, she noticed the girl had a lanyard around her neck, with an ID hanging from it. The details were too small to be read from a distance, but Jennie could clearly see the VETERINARIAN heading in big, bold letters.

“And Jennie, this is Chou Tzuyu.”

Just a name, no label. Jennie and Tzuyu exchanged pleasantries, until the taller girl had to head upstairs to what Jennie supposed was the master bedroom, like in her own apartment. Jennie kindly refused the offer to stay for dinner, partly because it felt too soon, but mostly because she was expecting Lisa to come around any minute.

Clearly, Tzuyu’s limited interaction with Sana was a great contrast to Sana’s loving gaze.

“That’s your girlfriend, right?”

Sana had stayed silent after Tzuyu left, rubbing behind Kaya’s ears and looking down at her with soft eyes. She didn’t seem shocked at Jennie’s observation.

“Yes. She is.”

“Is it serious?” Jennie dared to question.

It was clear as day that the girl that had just left was very dear to Sana. Jennie was just amazed that Sana wasn’t worried at the prospect of calling someone her girlfriend. Just the thought would have sent her running in the past.

Sana let out a surprised oh followed by a laugh at the dubious tone. “Well, I’d like to marry her someday, so I would say so. Pretty serious.”

“Wow. That’s new.”

Sana agreed.

“I have to say, she is quite different from your previous… type. I expected someone, I don’t know, overflowing with affection.”

“Oh, she is affectionate, just very private about it. But you’re right, she’s very different from everyone else I’ve been with.”

“How so?”

“Well, for starters, she didn’t fall at my feet the first time she saw me,” Sana said jokingly, making Jennie roll her eyes.

“How did you meet?” Jennie prompted.

“She was hired as a part-timer at the agency I work for. It was her first time modelling too, but she was so good at it.” Sana paused, trying to find the right wording. “I thought it was jealousy at first, you know? The attention she got… I thought that’s what I wanted from her.”

“What was it, then?”

“Her attention.” Sana sighed. “It was infuriating. Tzuyu doesn’t care about fame or the spotlight. My Tzu loves animals, and baking, and giving gifts to people, and… I wanted her to love me too. So badly.”

It was weird to hear Sana speak about her feelings so openly. Jennie wasn’t used to it. Although years had passed since they last spoke, she never anticipated such a change in Sana’s character. And all it took was one person.

“I’m guessing it went well if you’re together now?”

“She’s the reason I’m here. I had spent about a year blatantly flirting but didn’t make any serious advances. You should know what my track record in relationships looked like,” she laughed quietly, even though Jennie sensed some bitterness in the admission. “I couldn’t do that to her.”

Sana loved people’s attention. She wouldn’t have a career in the public eye otherwise. But even after all these years, the heartbreaker reputation was something she would never be proud of. Even Jennie was cautious of her when they started casually seeing each other, so she imagined that the doubts of someone Sana wanted as a girlfriend must have been much greater.

“But then… I realised that the only way to get what I truly wanted was to show her just how serious I was. I didn’t care about what I had to do or how, I just needed to prove it.”

“Moving to a different country is a big commitment,” Jennie commented.

“I am still very committed,” Sana replied proudly. “It’s weird. Thinking about the future used to terrify me. But that was until I finally envisioned it with her.”

“Well, I have to say that I’ve never seen you look this happy,” Jennie said earnestly. “And I hope it’s not a problem that I'm here since we have… history. I wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea.”

“Oh, I wish she was bothered by it.” Sana rolled her eyes with an upturn of her lips. “But she knows very well that she has me wrapped around her finger.”

The Minatozaki Sana that Jennie knew would have never dared to admit that out loud. Perhaps that was what true love did to people.

Before Jennie got to reply, her phone rang. She pulled the device out of her pockets, immediately answering. As she heard Lisa’s voice notify her that she was in front of her door, Jennie assured her that she’d be out in a second. Lisa didn’t get to ask where she’d be coming out from.

When she mentioned having to leave to meet someone, Sana had stared at her intrigued. She enthusiastically walked Jennie to the door, opening it and letting her walk out first.

Lisa was startled by the sudden opening of a door beside her. She had been waiting in front of Jennie’s apartment, but when she noticed the girl exit a different one, she looked back at the door number with confusion.

“You got the right one, don’t worry,” Jennie quickly clarified as she walked closer.

Sana had kept her own door open, leaning against its frame with a clear view of the new guest. She still held Kaya with both hands, but her eyes assessed Lisa momentarily.

It was colder than most days, so Lisa was rightfully wearing a white puffer over her sweatshirt. She also had a scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, and the usual cap was replaced by a beanie. Jennie thought she looked adorable in it.

Lisa stepped back when Jennie approached, pressing the numbers on the keypad again and opening the door wide. “Go ahead, I’ll be with you in a second.”

There was an obvious look of concern from Lisa. Jennie reached out to touch her elbow gently, silently telling her there was nothing to worry about. Lisa briefly eyed Sana’s unreadable expression one last time before she made her way inside.

“Not bad, Jennie Kim. Not bad at all.”

Jennie ignored Sana’s knowing smirk. “I’ll see you around, Minatozaki.”

----

Something was definitely off.

Jennie had the habit of noticing every minor change in the behaviour of those she cared about. It was common for people to hide their negative feelings, Jennie included, so the only way she had to spot unusual behaviour was to pick up on subtle signs, the small differences that pointed to someone being upset.

And Lisa was acting… differently.

As soon as they were both inside Jennie’s apartment, Lisa took off her jacket and went straight to work. She had obviously said hello, how are you, and engaged in the usual small talk.

But Jennie was confident that they had moved past the small talk stage long ago.

They had not seen each other in a couple of days, but Jennie didn’t receive the same big smile or the warm hug that she got at the airport. Lisa’s eyes were evasive, her voice detached, the polar opposite of everything Jennie knew. As she was stuck staring at Lisa’s back, Jennie couldn’t help but frown.

What happened to her Lisa?

“You don’t have to do that right now, you know?”

Lisa pressed the blade of her utility knife through the tape of yet another of the boxes from Jennie’s move-in, opening the flaps and staring at the contents to avoid looking up.

“It’s fine. The faster we unpack, the sooner we’ll be done.”

Jennie’s frown deepened.

“You just arrived. Are you in that much of a rush to leave?”

While she still refused to turn around and speak to her eye-to-eye, Jennie noticed Lisa’s shoulders stiffen just slightly.

“Of course not,” Lisa said monotonously. “But that’s why I’m here, no? To help you sort this stuff out.”

Wrong, Jennie thought as she took several steps closer. She grabbed Lisa’s arm, halting her movements. “Okay, out with it. What’s the issue?”

“There is no issue,” Lisa replied shortly, moving Jennie’s hand away and continuing with her unpacking.

The problem with Lisa was that she was never outright cold. Or at least, never with Jennie. Even if the intention was to push her away, Jennie still felt the kindness in Lisa’s touch as her fingers grasped her hand, making the task of being inquisitive a lot harder than it should be.

Sensing a slight tension between them wouldn’t justify all the questions Jennie wanted to ask. Lisa had a way of telling her that everything was okay without saying a word, but this time, Jennie believed she simply wanted her to think that it was. Somehow, she felt that Lisa was trying to think so too.

There was hardly any work for Jennie to do given that Lisa had done her best to keep herself busy. Constantly out of Jennie’s way. If Jennie did so much as to grab items from the same box as Lisa, the other girl pulled away like she had been burnt and moved on to a different one.

Jennie didn’t like it at all. She wasn’t sure if the reasons behind Lisa’s change in mood included herself, but she felt helpless for not being able to make it better. Lisa probably wouldn’t even allow her to.

The thought of spending the whole evening like that was dreadful.

Jennie didn’t want to push more than she had already tried. Instead, she attempted to give Lisa some space by sorting out the items for her bedroom. She carried all the clothes by herself, refusing Lisa’s offer to help bring the suitcases upstairs. For a moment, she could see the dilemma in Lisa’s eyes. Even when she was distant, caring for others seemed to be in her nature.

Ninety full minutes. That’s how long they spent apart while being under the same roof. Too long for Jennie’s liking. It felt extremely strange not to be in Lisa’s vicinity after she spent the whole day looking forward to seeing her. Alone in her bedroom with her doubts and worries, Jennie kept wondering if Lisa would come and find her, demonstrating once more that she wasn’t the only one that missed the other. But Lisa never did.

Unlike Lisa, Jennie couldn’t stay away. Maybe Lisa’s willpower was just stronger than hers.

As soon as she had organised her wardrobe and desk, she swiftly moved back downstairs, finding Lisa flattening all the empty boxes and placing them in a neat stack.

“You’re done already?” Jennie asked, surprised.

There had been at least a dozen boxes. Now, they were all gone. Of course Lisa didn’t come to see her when she had been too occupied to clear her entire living room.

“Yeah, it wasn’t that much.”

Certainly not much when Lisa had given all her attention to unpacking instead of sharing it with Jennie.

“Wow, okay. Well, thank you very much for the help.” Jennie smiled, even though her low mood was likely showing. “I…”

She looked around, not knowing what to say to convince Lisa to stay. The conversation was nearing a goodbye a lot sooner than she expected.

“You’re done with the bedroom?”

“Yeah, it’s all good upstairs.”

Not really. Jennie had not unpacked anything in her studio, but she didn’t need to give Lisa yet another excuse to avoid her.

They stood in silence for a few seconds. Lisa with her hands in her pockets, Jennie leaning against the back of the sofa as her fingers tapped gently on the soft leather.

Food would be a topic that might prolong Lisa’s stay, Jennie pondered. Or she could tell her about the new project at work. Or maybe she could take advantage of Lia and Ryujin’s connection and ask how they were doing. Or perhaps—

“Are you that close to your neighbour?” Lisa asked suddenly.

Their eyes met briefly, before Lisa looked away immediately at the sight of Jennie’s surprise.

Frankly, Jennie had not expected Lisa to mention Sana at all. After all, they had merely seen each other for a few seconds in the corridor outside. The other girl must have made an impression for Lisa to ask about her, evidently.

“Oh… well, not exactly.”

“But enough to spend time inside her home?”

“Her name is Sana. She’s my… how do I put this?” Jennie looked down at her feet, feeling weirdly awkward about discussing an old flame. But if Lisa wanted to know, Jennie wasn’t going to hide it. Especially if answering would finally make Lisa go back to… normal. “We used to be together a few years ago.”

“Together?”

“Remember how I said I met someone in Paris?” Jennie prompted, hoping that would clear up the confusion.

“Your first girlfriend?”

If Jennie had been closer to her, she would have noticed Lisa’s eyes dimming more and more. Instead, she was just glad Lisa was talking to her, focusing on making sure she wouldn’t stop.

“Oh no, there were too many commitment issues to become official,” she laughed it off. Then, in a subtle attempt to give Lisa a reason to spend more time with her without being too obvious, she asked, “Do you want anything for dinner?”

“But you were in love?”

The dinner question had completely gone over Lisa’s head.

“I guess you could say I was,” Jennie pulled out her phone in the meantime, looking up her trusted food delivery app. “Won’t you look at this, I got a 10% off coupon!”

“Your first love?”

“Yep,” Jennie admitted without too much thought. She didn’t think she had been in love with any of her high school boyfriends, so by logic, Sana would have been her first love. Taeyang her second. Lisa hopefully her third—

“And say, would you consider giving it another shot now?”

Jennie had never heard Lisa sound so serious. The question had thrown her off so much that she could only laugh in amusement. Sana and she? Another shot?

“Absolutely not!” She shook her head over and over. “Why would I ever do that?”

Why would Jennie even look Sana’s way when Lisa was right in front of her? It was such a silly idea.

“I don’t know,” Lisa shrugged, looking at Jennie anxiously. “She’s your first love. It must have meant something.”

“It means nothing to me,” she was quick to address. “Trust me, getting over your first love is done more easily than most people make it out to be.”

“Most people don’t meet their first love again,” Lisa added. “But you did.”

“So?” Jennie’s brows furrowed. “It already didn’t work out once. It definitely won’t again.”

Was that what Lisa worried about? Did Jennie need to prove that Sana would never ever be a threat?

“Sometimes… sometimes feelings resurface.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Lisa.”

Jennie would not let someone from the past ruin her present.

“It does for me!”

If it hadn’t been for Lisa’s raised voice, Jennie wouldn’t have noticed how worked up the other girl got. But now that she looked closely, she could clearly see her chest rising and falling quickly with her agitated breath. And although Jennie still couldn’t figure out why, her eyes were so, so sad.

And then, Lisa must have realised it too.

Her eyes looked away from Jennie, searching for her jacket and grabbing it quickly once she spotted it.

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she started to mutter as she tried to leave.

Jennie didn’t let her.

“Oh, hell no, we’re not doing this.”

In a rush to stop Lisa, Jennie grabbed her arm more roughly than she intended, making her jolt back.

“Please,” Lisa pleaded, but Jennie was not having it.

“I’m not doing it, Lisa,” she said firmly. “I won’t go through the whole misunderstanding bullshit. Not with you.”

It was rather common, both in real life and in fiction, for a single moment to snowball into something it should never have turned into. Jennie knew that if she let Lisa slip away, the chances of clearing whatever had just happened would become slimmer. She couldn’t afford that risk.

Jennie wasn’t sure what convinced Lisa, but eventually, she stopped struggling against her grasp.

“First of all, I’m sorry if I offended you in any way,” she started, making sure to soften her tone from before. “She was my first love, yes. But I didn’t feel anything romantic when we met again. No sparks, no fireworks, only surprise. That’s why I said it doesn’t work for me.”

“You really don’t have to explain yourself to me, I don’t deserve it.”

“Lisa, I don’t know why, but I can tell I’ve upset you. But you have to believe me, I was only referring to Sana and I. That’s all there is to it. I promise.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jennie. It’s all my fault. I got carried away.”

Jennie looked her in the eyes. “Carried away by what?”

The doorbell rang.

“You should get that.”

Timing didn’t seem to be on Jennie’s side that day. The immediate ease that settled in Lisa’s features was the only thing that stopped her from pushing for an answer. Lisa sounded awfully glad to have evaded the question, and Jennie couldn’t let the buzzing continue without answering.

With a slow sigh, Jennie walked away.

Upon answering the intercom, the concierge informed her that a delivery person was coming up to her floor with a package she needed to sign for.

It must have been her toaster.

Since moving, Jennie had spent multiple mornings without being able to toast her bread, and it started to become an issue. She had made the impulse purchase late at night, arranging for an evening delivery to make sure she was home to receive it. She was not going to suffer through another toast-less morning because of a missed parcel delivery.

Lisa had backtracked, not having put on her jacket yet. Jennie was just pleased that she got her to stay, even though she was ready for a change of topic.

The medium sized box she received had no indication of what it contained, but the FRAGILE labels were enough of an indication that it was indeed her kitchen appliance.

Finally, she could have her toast and coffee tomorrow.

Lisa had curiously watched her place the parcel on the kitchen island. She must have thought it was the perfect opportunity to forget about their previous conversations given how invested she was in watching Jennie unbox it.

While she had her back to the other girl, Jennie cut the tape around the opening, silently complaining that her dear toaster was able to interrupt her from getting answers. She couldn’t blame it too much, she thought, as she opened the box flaps. The toaster was just an innocent bystander. The minimum she could do was ensure that it arrived all in one piece.

There was only one, tiny problem.

Jennie’s eyes grew wide as she instantly shut the box again, too loudly to go unnoticed. She turned around, ready to keep the box hidden from Lisa, even though the girl had clearly witnessed her opening it.

That was NOT her toaster.

“What is it?” Lisa questioned amused.

Jennie would have been relieved at the uplifting tone if it wasn’t for what she had pressed behind her back.

“Nothing! It’s the toaster, just like I thought.”

She couldn’t lie to save her life. Lisa’s smile grew wider.

“Oh, come on, what are you hiding?”

Lisa began to step closer, which Jennie would have loved moments ago. Now, she had to make sure she could keep the box as far away as possible.

“I just told you, it’s the toaster.”

“Ah-ha, sure, that totally explains the guilty look on your face.”

“Why are you coming closer? Let’s head back to the living room.” Jennie tried to steer her away in vain. “We could order dinner now. It’s on me.”

“Jennie Kim,” Lisa called slowly, now standing right in front of Jennie. Without her heels, Jennie felt even smaller against her. “Are you perhaps hiding something… naughty?”

Naughty? No, no, no. Jennie was not going there. Sure, she lied about what was inside, but she would not let herself be defamed like that.

“No!” She yelled, sounding very scandalised. She wasn’t THAT lonely, for goodness’s sake. “It’s not that.”

“Are you sure?” Lisa teased, reaching behind Jennie’s back without raising suspicion.

Unfortunately, Jennie was too focused on how close Lisa’s mouth was to pay attention. Letting her guard down, she stopped being on alert for two seconds. Two seconds to blatantly stare at Lisa’s full lips.

And that was all it took for Lisa to grab the box and run away, Jennie fast on her tail.

“Give it back!”

Lisa laughed like a child, placing the box in the living room. “I bet it’s not a toaster!”

Too fast for Jennie to reach her, Lisa had enough time to open it without any interruptions, a shit-eating grin adorning her lips, likely still believing her initial assumption. Jennie could only slow down with tense shoulders, giving up on the chase as she awaited the inevitable.

And as she silently predicted, Lisa’s smile vanished as soon as she got a glimpse of the real contents of the box.

“Oh.”

“I can explain,” Jennie stated calmly, hoping that Lisa was not overthinking it.

For a few moments, Lisa kept quiet. Then, as if to cover up her initial reaction, she smiled gently. Almost reassuringly.

And yet, nothing could hide the nostalgic look in her eyes.

“No need. You chose a pretty good camera. Do you mind if I…?”

She pointed at the camera hesitantly.

“Go ahead,” Jennie nodded.

After slowly moving away the protective polystyrene and air cushions, Lisa picked up the inner camera box, inspecting the specifications of the device.

“Yeah, it’s a lovely one,” she commented as she finished examining the sides of the box, nodding satisfied. “I’m sure it will work great for whatever you need it for.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Is it for work? Or are you going on a holiday soon?”

Lisa looked at her expectantly. Both were reasonable assumptions if the camera had been for Jennie.

“It’s yours,” Jennie said tentatively.

“What?”

Taking careful steps, Jennie finally made her way beside the taller girl, eyes pointed at the item on her hands.

“I got it for you,” she admitted.

“I…” Lisa’s hands started trembling slightly. “Why?”

Jennie had been trying to figure that out for a while. She still couldn’t give a clear answer other than the obvious one.

“Because I wanted to.”

It clearly wasn’t a sufficient explanation to Lisa. As she placed the camera box back on the table, she started to repeatedly shake her head.

“I can’t accept it,” she stated firmly.

“Yes, you can.” Jennie reached for the camera and pushed it to Lisa’s chest. “Take it. Please.”

She didn’t know why her voice sounded so unsteady. Deep inside, Jennie always knew that Lisa would have rejected her gift, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

“Jennie, I can’t,” Lisa repeated with more conviction. “I can’t keep taking from you.”

“You’re not taking anything from me.” Jennie wasn’t sure what made Lisa think that. If anything, Jennie felt like the one always on the receiving end of Lisa’s care. “Don’t think too much into it.”

It would be a big problem, Jennie thought, if Lisa were to figure out how far her feelings went. Jennie couldn’t even convince herself that it was a simple friendly gesture, so there was absolutely no chance that she’d be able to persuade Lisa to believe there wasn’t a deeper meaning behind it.

“How could I not? You had no reason to do this for me.”

“Listen, I know how wonderful it is to work on something you genuinely enjoy, and I also know that not many people get to do that in their lives. And you should be able to do what you love, Lisa.” Jennie raised her hand to touch Lisa’s cheek gently, trying her best to calm the uncertainty in her eyes. “I don’t need a reason. I just want you to be happy.”

Jennie didn’t like when things didn’t go according to plan. She didn’t account for a significant part of her past living next door, nor the reveal of her purchase, nor Lisa’s weird behaviour making everything more delicate. Theoretically, her night was turning into a disaster.

But for a moment, she saw Lisa’s stance falter. A brief, pensive look formed on her face, generating a small spark of hope in Jennie. Suddenly, plans didn’t matter anymore. Lisa’s gaze slowly became free of doubts, though Jennie couldn’t tell whether it was due to an understanding settling in instead.

She could only hope that Lisa remembered. Weeks ago, when she had drunkenly told Jennie the same words.

I want you to be happy.

Jennie wanted it too. Maybe she had a different way of expressing it, but the intention was the very same.

Lisa didn’t say a word, but she tried to. She looked back and forth between Jennie and the box in her hands, parting her lips before closing them again. Then, she placed the box down again, this time looking at Jennie intently.

“Damn it, Jennie.”

A flash of confusion crossed Jennie’s eyes, not having the time to process Lisa’s words before soft lips pressed firmly against hers.

Lisa kissed her hard, holding onto her as though she was afraid Jennie might slip away any minute.

It was a pointless concern. How could Jennie ever dream of going anywhere? If anything, she felt the need to pinch herself to confirm that she wasn’t, in fact, living a dream.

Perhaps that was the effect of wishing for something so badly and finally having it granted. After all the almosts and what ifs, Jennie got to find out how Lisa’s mouth felt on hers, albeit a little roughly, in a  kiss that was a mix of tender and desperate.

And gone too soon for Jennie to get immersed in it.

Lisa pulled away abruptly and stared at her with panicked eyes, opening her mouth to say something.

And next thing she knew, she was rushing out the door.

“W-wait…” Jennie muttered in a breathy whisper, still frozen in shock at the unexpected kiss. “Lisa, wait!”

The weak attempt to catch up to the runaway girl lasted less than a few seconds. Jennie’s legs were not as fast as Lisa’s, and by the time she stepped out of her apartment, she was only met with the sound of the door to the staircase shutting. Lisa didn’t even risk waiting for the lift.

Well, shit. Crossing her arms, Jennie slumped against the doorframe, her shoulders rising as she let out a long, heavy sigh.

That was not how she wanted the evening to play out.

“It’s twenty-four flights of stairs,” she mumbled quietly to herself, her tired gaze still fixed on the door Lisa had vanished from.

Even as the seconds passed, the sense of disbelief still lingered. Jennie never imagined that Lisa would go to those lengths just to avoid speaking to her.

The situation became so absurd that Jennie almost felt the need to laugh. Lisa’s decision of escaping from the twelfth floor of a building via stairs was rather dramatic. Jennie respected her urge to flee, but she worried Lisa’s legs would feel the burn of it sooner or later.

It was a shame, truthfully. She had daydreamed about kissing Lisa on multiple occasions, and not a single time did she have to deal with a sudden loneliness. Lisa gave her a taste of her lips and nothing more. Jennie didn’t even get to prove how much of a good kisser she was.

Oh, she was going to devour the girl alive the next time she saw her—that much was certain. She was not letting Lisa get away with this.

But at the end of the day, there was still a bright side. Lisa had clearly demonstrated an interest, and that was enough for Jennie to consider it a start. It didn’t completely subside the sliver of disappointment caused by the disastrous night, but at least there wasn’t any sadness linked to it.

When she glanced back inside her apartment, seeing the camera still in her living room when it should have been with Lisa, another sigh left her lips. Maybe the disappointment was slightly bigger than just a sliver.

“Good job, Jennie. Real good job.” She paused briefly. “And I don’t even have my fucking toaster. Lovely.”

----

Chapter Text

The situation had become utterly ridiculous.

It wasn’t as though Jennie had expected a smooth journey. There had always been room for unpredictable elements, especially when she’d never been certain about Lisa’s feelings. It was more than fair to have a reaction that wasn’t completely… positive.

But everything had a limit.

Jennie had spent weeks wondering how she could make a move on Lisa without creating chaos, and yet the moment Lisa decided to take the lead instead, she completely disappeared.

Three days.

Jennie had stared at her phone over and over after Lisa ran out of her apartment, waiting for her screen to light up with the name she longed to see. She expected a call—or at the very least, a message. Anything that would have explained the way Lisa abruptly fled from her apartment.

It wasn’t even her pride that stopped Jennie from reaching out immediately. Given Lisa’s visible panic when she had left, Jennie wanted to give her some time and space. She was being considerate.

But once Jennie got impatient enough to text first, she got ghosted.

They had more than enough time to let the tension boil down after whatever happened that day. Jennie was willing to look past the fact that she had been abandoned right after being kissed as long as there was an explanation coming.

Three days. Seventy-two whole hours. And Lisa didn’t attempt to contact her even once—left Jennie on read, even.

Jennie Kim did NOT get ghosted. She was not having it. Especially not from Lisa.

Perhaps if it had been anyone else, Jennie wouldn’t have bothered with the chase. But when it came to Lisa, Jennie’s heart made all kinds of exceptions. She was led by a feeling beyond her control.

Fortunately for Jennie, she knew where Lisa worked AND lived. Was tracking her down considered stalkerish behaviour? Certainly not. She had a motive to find her. She couldn’t leave things hanging, even though Lisa was clearly willing to do so.

It was like the beginning all over again—Jennie walking up that dodgy street, looking for the familiar Kim’s Fried Chicken & Burgers sign. She remembered thinking it looked tacky back then, but all it took was a few months to see it turn into a safe space for her. She wondered if it would continue to be. After all, it wasn’t the place that made her feel like that.

The ghosting meant that Jennie didn’t receive Lisa’s work schedule for the week, so she was back to guessing an appropriate time to show up and hope for the best.

Ryujin was working with a guy Jennie had never seen before. It was probably a new part-timer. Neither were who Jennie wanted to see, but unlike the first time they met, Jennie walked in and smiled at the pink-haired girl.

“Fancy seeing you here. Again.” Ryujin returned the smile, finally leaving the bitterness between them behind.

“I don’t really have a choice, let’s say.” Jennie stretched her neck to peek past the front staff and see if anyone was in the kitchen. “Is Lisa on shift today?”

Ryujin looked at her weirdly. “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“Lisa called in sick for the past few days.”

And just like that, Jennie’s determined stance began to crumble.

“Sick?” Jennie asked, worried.

Ryujin nodded. “Yeah. It surprised me, honestly. Lisa has never called in sick for as long as I’ve worked with her.”

“She’s home, right?”

Jennie already started to step back towards the exit, now her mind completely focused on Lisa’s wellbeing.

“Well, she better be.”

----

Jennie pressed the doorbell.

Usually, she’d just have to send a quick text letting Lisa know she was at her door, but this time it would have been pointless. Jennie doubted that Lisa would read or reply to any message, even when she was standing right outside her home. So, she was left feeling like a stranger.

She waited.

She pressed it again, this time with her ear closer to the door.

Not a single sound could be heard.

“Go figure,” she grumbled as she knocked three times instead.

Lisa’s doorbell was clearly not working. Given the poor state of the wire connected to the button, Jennie’s guess was that it had not been working for a while.

When she still didn’t receive a response, Jennie tried her best not to panic. Lisa lived alone, so if something happened to her, no one would be able to aid her immediately. Jennie would have checked up on her daily, but she hadn’t for the past three days.

What if she was so sick that she couldn’t come to the door? What if she fainted? What if she was in pain?

Jennie knocked again, this time louder and more persistently.

A few thuds from inside calmed her heart a bit, finally a sign that Lisa was indeed home.

But when the door swung open, Jennie held back a surprised gasp.

Lisa was in her pyjamas with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair was a mess, with the usual neat bangs now all over her forehead, and her face was paler than usual. Jennie could tell she had just rolled out of bed from the way she struggled to keep her eyes open.

But even when Lisa was clearly not in the best state, Jennie could recognise the guilty expression that appeared as soon as their eyes met. Lisa didn’t say anything, but she also didn’t let Jennie in.

“Are you really going to shut the door on my face?”

Jennie’s brewing annoyance had fizzled once the worry for Lisa took over. But if Lisa dared to close the door when she had made the effort to find her after three days of radio silence, she’d burn with rage.

“You probably shouldn’t come in. It’s a mess.”

Three days without hearing her voice. Jennie immediately took note that it sounded very raspy now.

“Did you lose your voice?” she asked, ignoring Lisa’s useless advice.

“Uh, I lost it the first day.” She cleared her throat, standing straighter. "It’s coming back, though. Slowly.”

Lisa sheepishly looked away, unable to keep eye contact.

Jennie resisted the urge to smile. She still made Lisa feel nervous, it seemed.

When her eyes scanned Lisa’s body from head to toe, she finally noticed that the girl was trembling. Clearly, the door had stayed open for too long, and Jennie had enough of standing on the wrong side of it.

Jennie took a step closer. “Will you please let me in?”

At first, Lisa appeared to deliberate over whether to actually let Jennie inside. It was really silly. Jennie didn’t ask her as a way to give her options. She was not leaving.

Once the door was opened wide for her, Jennie didn’t wait around. She stepped inside, taking off her shoes and leaving them on the usual lineup on the side as Lisa closed the door behind her.

But when she finally entered the living room, she froze, causing Lisa to crash onto her back.

The place was actually a fucking mess.

“There’s no way you’ve been eating like this while you’re sick.”

The small table they usually ate together on was now covered with instant ramen cups scattered all over. Some were empty and stacked in a pile, others still sealed.

“It’s easier than cooking,” Lisa said weakly.

Jennie shook her head in disapproval.

She glanced at the sofa, seeing the obvious pillow arrangement on one side. “Have you been sleeping here?”

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” Jennie repeated, trying to make sense of the situation in any way.

Lisa wrapped her arms around herself.

“You need to go to bed,” Jennie said decisively.

And yet, Lisa didn’t move, her eyes lost staring at nothing in particular. It was evident that she was still feeling awful. Jennie placed her hand on Lisa’s back, startling the girl, but ultimately leading her towards the bedroom.

The room was fucking freezing.

“I open the window for ventilation in the morning,” Lisa mentioned, dropping herself on the bed tiredly. “It gets too cold, so I slept in the living room during the day.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been sick and not asked a single person for help, Lisa.” Jennie’s tone was reprimanding, but she still made sure to cover all of Lisa’s limbs with the duvet.

“It’s what happens when you live alone,” Lisa replied with a sigh, settling into her bed but hugging herself beneath the duvet from the cold.

“Living alone doesn’t mean that people stop caring for you.”

As she said it, she reached down to place her palm on Lisa’s forehead. Lisa visibly relaxed under her touch, but Jennie didn’t think it was the time to mention anything. She moved her hand to Lisa’s cheeks briefly.

“I had a bit of a temperature the day before yesterday. Don’t think it was serious, should be gone now,” Lisa said with her eyes closed.

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Luckily, Lisa seemed to be right. Her temperature was still warmer than what Jennie would have liked, but not to the point to be concerning.

“How did you get sick?” she asked.

“Walked home from your place the other day.”

“It takes at least an hour to walk from there to here. And you did that in this weather. Did you lose your mind?”

“Something along the lines,” Lisa sighed.

Jennie wasn’t going to push for answers for the time being, but she was still allowed to express her disappointment over Lisa’s foolish decisions. She could understand that Lisa felt the need to evade her for some reason, but opting to walk home in the dark and in the cold had been plain stupid.

Lisa was lucky that she was not in the best state right now. Jennie couldn’t remember a single time she saw her so helpless.

“You’re sweating. Your bangs are stuck to your forehead,” she said amused.

Lisa groaned. “I took a shower last night, but I still feel gross.”

“Taking a shower whilst having a possible fever is not very wise,” Jennie informed her, but Lisa merely hummed in response.

Without announcing her departure, Jennie left the room and headed to the bathroom. She opened the drawer where Lisa kept her clean towels and grabbed two of her face towels. She then walked to the kitchen and looked through the various cupboards and shelves to find a bowl. Once she spotted one, she filled it with water.

When she returned to Lisa’s room, she expected the girl to have fallen asleep. But as soon as she heard Jennie step inside, Lisa’s eyes fluttered open. Almost as if she wanted to make sure Jennie was still there.

“You don’t have to stay awake for me,” Jennie commented as she placed the bowl on Lisa’s nightstand. She took a seat on the edge of the mattress again.

“I’m not sleepy,” Lisa replied, sounding awfully sleepy.

Jennie didn’t argue, silently dipping half of the towel in the water. “I’m gonna freshen you up a little. It’ll help you sleep better.”

Lisa eyed the towel in Jennie’s hands, not protesting when her duvet was pulled down to her stomach.

Jennie began with Lisa’s face. She passed the towel over her forehead, her cheeks. She then moved to her neck, making sure to gently swipe under her jaw without getting the pillow wet.

Lisa’s eyes were looking at her the whole time.

The plain blue pyjama shirt had a collar low enough to let Jennie work freely on her neck, but it was buttoned all the way up.

“Do you mind if I…?” Jennie hesitantly touched the top button of Lisa’s sleep shirt. “Just this one.”

Lisa nodded without much thought.

“Okay, then.”

Jennie’s fingers trembled slightly, undoing the top button as she said. She opened up the top of the shirt until Lisa’s collarbones were exposed, allowing Jennie to go over the area with the towel as well.

Once she was satisfied, Jennie picked up the other dry towel and went over Lisa’s face and neck again, making sure to leave her skin cool but not wet.

“Done,” she whispered.

She stared at Lisa’s eyes for a few seconds, expecting any sort of reply. Lisa continued to look at her, now with a small upturn of her lips.

“What?”

Lisa looked down at her shirt, then back at Jennie.

“Oh.” Jennie brought both of her hands to the lapels of her shirt, pulling them close and redoing the button as before. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

Jennie refused to give Lisa the satisfaction of seeing her blush.

She left the room again to put away the towels and empty the bowl. But as she was about to leave the kitchen and go back, she paused in front of the fridge. Lisa was too weak to cook, and Jennie had time to spare.

A frown appeared on her face once she opened the ridiculously empty fridge.

“I need your keys.”

Lisa furrowed her brows at the request. “My keys?”

“House keys,” Jennie clarified, still standing by Lisa’s bed expectantly.

“Why?”

“I need to go out for a moment.”

Keys would have made it easier to come back in, but primarily, she didn’t want Lisa to have to leave her bed to open the door again. Jennie didn’t mention it.

After Lisa told her where to find them, Jennie didn’t wait around before leaving the house.

She made her way to the nearest supermarket, adding everything she thought Lisa needed to her trolley. Plenty of fruit and vegetables, rice, eggs, chicken and turkey, and some yoghurt. She also got some chamomile, preferring it over caffeinated drinks. After picking a few more ingredients that she needed, she ended her shopping trip by grabbing several microwavable containers.

With her hands full of grocery bags, Jennie walked back to Lisa’s apartment. She unlocked the door as quietly as she could, making her way inside and immediately checking up on Lisa. The girl was thankfully asleep.

Jennie spent the remainder of the evening in Lisa’s kitchen, using her recent shopping to prepare chicken soup. The process was a little lengthy, but Jennie took advantage of the waiting times to tidy up Lisa’s living room. She disposed of the empty ramen containers and put away the sealed ones on the very top shelf of Lisa’s cupboard.

As she freely moved around Lisa’s home, Jennie couldn’t help but wonder when did she get so comfortable with the place. She still recalled the absurdity of the first night she was invited in, analysing every bit of that house in hopes of deciphering any part of Lisa’s life. They had come a long way, Jennie thought, scanning over the details that used to fill her with curiosity back then.

And in that moment, her eyes were drawn to a new addition to Lisa’s wall of pictures. Jennie had learnt to recognise the faces of Lisa’s loved ones, from her parents to her childhood friends, but it seemed that Lisa had added one more person to the list. Printed on glossy paper was now the photo Jennie took when Lisa slept over at Chaeyoung’s, stuck to the wall with only clear tape.

Jennie’s initial look of surprise morphed into a fond smile, the lack of a frame weirdly amusing but still fitting of Lisa.

The warm feeling in her chest remained as she served a portion of the soup in a bowl, though she tried to convince herself to ignore it knowing it wasn’t the right time and place to acknowledge it. Freeing herself from those thoughts, Jennie carried the hot soup to Lisa’s room and placed it on the nightstand.

Lisa looked very peaceful while asleep. Jennie felt bad when she had to shake her awake, calling out her name softly.

“You need to eat before you sleep,” Jennie told her as Lisa rubbed her eyes.

Staring at the steaming bowl next to her, Lisa seemed rather surprised that Jennie had cooked for her.

Jennie simply waited.

“You didn’t have to do any of this, you know?”

“I wanted to.”

“Still, I’m sure it wasn’t in your plans to stay here the whole evening.”

“I’m going to start spoon-feeding you if you don’t stop talking nonsense,” Jennie threatened.

Lisa clearly wanted to protest, but Jennie’s stern gaze made her rethink.

As Lisa ate her meal quietly, Jennie returned to the stove. Now that the leftovers had cooled down, she stored them in two airtight containers, before leaving them in Lisa’s restocked fridge. She washed the pots and utensils she used and cleaned the counter, ensuring the place was spotless.

Lisa had finished eating when Jennie returned with a full water bottle. She argued a little when Jennie tried to take the dirty dishes from her, insisting she would clean them herself. Jennie didn’t let her, instead telling her to head to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bedtime like a child.

And then, Lisa was finally comfortable in bed. Jennie returned to her side one last time, leaving some medication and a clean glass beside Lisa’s water bottle.

“I don’t want you to take meds unless it’s necessary, but I’ll leave it here in case you get worse overnight. You shouldn’t,” she added, “but just to be safe.”

“Thank you.”

“And make sure to drink plenty of water. It’s important to stay hydrated.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and there’s still some soup in the fridge. I made it in abundance so that you have your meals ready for tomorrow. There’s also rice and some steamed vegetables if you get tired of soup.” She pointed her index at Lisa. “And don’t you dare make ramen again. I will find out if you do.”

Lisa laughed weakly. “Okay, I won’t. And thank you, again.”

Jennie nodded satisfied, looking around in case she had missed anything. Lisa still looked at her, hesitating before speaking up.

“Are you not going to say anything?”

Jennie raised an eyebrow in question. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know… I thought you came to tell me off about what happened.”

“You mean the way you ignored me for three days? Yeah. That was shitty. But you’re ill, so I’ll save it for another time.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Lisa shook her head.

Jennie knew exactly what she meant.

“Well, we can talk about what you meant after you’ve gotten better.”

Lisa pushed her arm out of her blanket to hold Jennie’s hand, pulling her closer until she sat next to her on the bed. “I’m really sorry, Jennie.”

Jennie also knew what Lisa’s apology was referring to, but that was not what she wanted. She didn’t want Lisa to be sorry for kissing her.

“I’ll accept your apology for ghosting me. And for hiding that you were ill.”

Even when Lisa was about to fall asleep, she still managed a tiny eye roll. Jennie just smiled knowingly.

“I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”

“You really don’t have to—”

“Lisa,” Jennie placed two fingers on the girl’s lips. “With all due respect, shush.”

Although she didn’t let herself react, Jennie noted that Lisa’s lips felt just as soft under the pads of her fingers as they did on her own lips three days ago.

“You’re leaving?” Lisa asked.

Jennie moved her fingers to Lisa’s cheek, unconsciously rubbing her thumb over it.

“Yeah. I think it’s the only way you’ll actually get some rest.”

“Not true,” Lisa mumbled with half opened eyes. As if she had not been trying to keep herself awake as long as possible for Jennie.

Jennie lifted her hand to push back Lisa’s bangs from her forehead. She looked down at Lisa’s curious gaze for a moment, before leaning in and pressing her lips to her forehead gently.

“Get well soon,” she whispered, her face hovering just above Lisa’s nose. She smiled when she saw Lisa’s ears turning red. She was pretty sure it was not related to her condition. “It’s a real shame you’re sick right now.”

Lisa audibly took an intake of breath. “Why?”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know?”

Once Lisa got better, Jennie was totally going to kiss her senseless.

----

Taking care of Lisa should have put Jennie’s mind at rest. After ensuring Lisa knew how to look after herself while sick, Jennie shouldn’t have spent most of her time the next day worrying about her. Truthfully, she would have been at peace if Lisa had answered her call and said she was resting and eating well, but no.

Lisa had the audacity to tell her she went to work because she claimed she felt much better.

How was Jennie supposed to keep calm when she had to deal with a Lisa that didn’t listen to her?

As she was stuck in her office, Jennie could barely focus, every cell in her body longing to leave everything and go check on that stubborn girl. But unfortunately, putting her work on hold right before the holidays was a luxury she could not afford. Her team’s priority was to make sure everything went smoothly after New Year’s, including Taeyang’s cover photoshoot. And as their leader, Jennie had to push herself to do the same, if not more.

Mina had notified her that Taeyang was scheduled to come in as soon as the holiday season was over. She had also tentatively asked Jennie if she had spoken to him yet, and Jennie didn’t hesitate when she said she’d rather jump off a cliff than contact him first.

“I informed him you’d be assisting the fittings. He didn’t have much of a reaction.”

“Interesting,” was all Jennie said.

The fact that both she and Taeyang knew that they’d inevitably meet, yet neither tried to contact the other, showed that they were on the same page about one thing.

At least Jennie didn’t have to worry about anyone being shocked by their unwanted reunion. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she was slowly coming to terms with the fact that maybe it was the only opportunity she’d get to speak to him about how they ended things.

But Taeyang was extremely low in her list of priorities. And even when she was dying to see her, Lisa didn’t hold the top spot either.

Jennie reserved that space for a grumpy high schooler.

As much as Jennie would have loved to rush over to Lisa’s after work, she had promised Ella that she’d help her pick an outfit for a date. And given that it was the first time her little sister had contacted her first, Jennie could never say no.

“I liked the first pair of jeans. They weren’t too long nor too tight on you.”

Ella twirled in front of the mirror. The curtain of the changing room was open for Jennie to see the outfit on her.

“Are you sure? I don’t know if the colours match.”

“I think denim looks good with the cream cardigan,” Jennie pointed out. “But if you want to keep the skirt, we can look for another top for more contrast.”

While fashion was pretty much her area of expertise, she wanted Ella to go with her own preferences. Besides, she could tell that Ella didn’t contact her solely for fashion advice.

“What did you say this was for, again?”

Ella pressed her lips together. “Just for… hanging out.”

“Yeah? With who?” Jennie pushed.

“No one important,” Ella said, avoiding eye contact as she closed the curtain once again.

“Do your parents know?”

“My parents?”

“You’re the one that still needs permission from them.”

Ella sighed. “No.”

“What was that?”

“They don’t know,” Ella repeated, annoyed. “Have you never lied to them about where you were?”

“All the time,” Jennie laughed. “But you’re gonna have to tell me where you’re really going and with who, missy.”

Ella pushed the curtains open and huffed at Jennie’s knowing smirk. “You already met him. I don’t get why you’re pretending not to know.”

“What? I can’t tease my little sister for being excited about a first date?” Jennie grabbed the clothes Ella wasn’t going to keep and handed them to an employee. It seemed like Ella accepted her advice without much thought.

“I’m not excited,” Ella rolled her eyes, walking towards the cashier with Jennie in tow. “He’s just taking me out to the movies.”

“How sweet,” Jennie said, “I hope it goes well.”

“You don’t think it’s cliché or anything?” Ella questioned as they joined the queue to the checkout.

“Not at all, I think it’s lovely. I’ve also been to the movies with someone not too long ago.”

“And what happened after?”

Jennie wanted to laugh. What happened after was complete turmoil.

“Well, you’ll just know at the end of the date whether you feel a… connection.”

“Did you feel it?”

“Yeah,” Jennie nodded, passing her card for the cashier to swipe before Ella could pull out her pocket money. “I did.”

“Really?”

Ella sounded surprised.

Jennie couldn’t blame her since she never mentioned it. She merely nodded as she accepted the paper bag from the cashier and led Ella out of the store.

“Who was it?”

“Why so interested all of a sudden?”

Ella crossed her arms. “You know who I’m going on a date with. It’s only right that you tell me who you’re seeing too.”

“I’m not seeing anyone yet.”

“Yet? Oh my god, you’re totally in a situationship.”

“What the hell is a situationship?”

Ella rolled her eyes. “An undefined relationship, Jennie. Keep up with the times. It means you’re with someone but without clear commitment.”

Jennie stopped dead in her tracks. “That is not my case.”

If anything, Ella was describing her relationship with Sana. Lisa was different.

Jennie was serious about Lisa, and Lisa didn’t seem like the type to lead someone on without commitment. The only two possible outcomes were a relationship or rejection and maybe a damaged friendship. But given that Lisa had been the one to kiss her first, she wanted to believe the feelings were mutual.

“No?”

“I’m friends with this person, currently.”

“Oh,” Ella nodded. “You’re in that stage.”

“Yes. The same stage you are.”

Ella slapped her arm as they continued walking. “At least I got a date.”

“At least I got a kiss,” Jennie rebutted looking away.

“No, you didn’t!” Ella gasped, and Jennie couldn’t help but throw her head back laughing at Ella’s look of shock.

Maybe it was not a big deal to most people, but Jennie never got to speak to her sister about people she liked or discuss topics like first dates and cute outfits. She had given that up when she moved to another country during Ella’s teen years, and Ella didn’t give her the opportunity to make amends once she returned.

“How long has it been?” Ella questioned when they reached the bus stop. The family’s driver was instructed to pick her up from there, and Jennie made sure they waited far enough from the main road so that she wasn’t seen by him.

“We’re not together just yet, I told you.”

Ella laughed lightly. “You sound awfully confident. But I meant how long from your last relationship.”

“Oh.” Jennie paused, trying to add up the dates in her head. “Five months or so?”

“Really?” Ella sounded surprised. “I thought it had been a lot longer.”

“What makes you say that? You didn’t even know him.”

“No, I know that, but like,” Ella looked down sheepishly. “I didn’t see you post him for a while before that.”

Jennie would have immediately pointed out Ella’s online stalking like usual if it wasn’t for the fact that she did raise a good point. “Is that so? I didn’t notice.”

“I’m just saying it because I used to see photos of you with him all the time. And then it stopped, so I assumed you broke up.”

She and Taeyang used to take a lot of pictures together, whether it was on a date or simply hanging out at home. Or even in his stupid car when he drove her around. Jennie didn’t remember when the habit stopped altogether.

“Maybe it’s because we didn’t take as many photos anymore.”

“But you still posted pictures of yourself.”

“Are you calling me vain?”

“What? No!” Ella held her hands up defensively. “I just find it weird. If you still spent time together but didn’t feel the need to take pictures with him, that says a lot, right?”

“Right.”

“And he wasn’t even commenting on your photos.”

“Were you stalking my comments too?”

“Monitoring!”

Jennie smiled. “I get your point. And maybe your observations have a meaning.”

“How so?”

Jennie shrugged. “We took less photos because we had less moments worth remembering. That must have been why.”

“Oh,” Ella looked at her thoughtfully. “Is that why you broke up with him?”

“He broke up with me,” Jennie sighed, “you’d have to ask him if that was the reason.”

“Why don’t you just ask him then?”

Jennie narrowed her eyes. “Is everything so straightforward to you?”

Ella nodded. “If you don’t know something, you just have to ask.”

“I’m doing just fine without knowing,” Jennie lied. “As I said, I’m moving on. With someone much better.”

“Will I get to meet him some day?” Ella questioned suddenly.

“Her,” Jennie corrected softly, waiting for Ella’s reaction.

Ella’s curious expression didn’t change. She simply raised a brow.

“Well, will I get to meet her some day?”

“That’s a big step, no?”

“If you think so,” Ella shrugged. “I never met anyone you dated.”

“You’ve never wanted to.”

“I do now.”

Jennie pursed her lips as she thought about it. If they made it far enough into a relationship, would Lisa be ready to meet Jennie’s only family? Would Jennie be prepared to share that part of herself with a significant other? It would be the first time for her as well.

“It’s too soon to tell,” she ended up saying. “Way too early.”

She expected Ella to accept it and move on to another topic, but her sister jutted out her bottom lip at her reply.

“What?”

“You’re not telling me anything.”

“Why do you want to know so badly?”

“I just…” Ella sighed, putting her hands in her jacket pockets. “I don’t know anything about your life. Except the parts you post on socials.”

“Ella,” Jennie called, bringing her hands up to form a V under her sister’s chin, the shopping bags hanging from her wrists. Ella annoyingly grew to be taller than her. “I’ll always be an open book for you. You’ve always been part of my life, even if you just started to let me back into yours.”

Before Ella could react, Jennie lightly pinched both of her cheeks. “And if this guy dares to break your heart, I will break his legs.”

Ella finally laughed. She stayed silent for a few seconds, smiling down at the ground. Then, she revealed that she had been liking Soobin for two years.

Two years.

Jennie was initially shocked that her sister could go so long with a crush without ever making any sort of move, but she understood that everything seemed a lot harder in high school. Ella explained how she was terrified of her feelings not being mutual, claiming a one-sided crush was a lot better than rejection.

Suddenly, Jennie was even more impressed that Lisa had the courage to confess all those years ago.

And when she offhandedly mentioned it to Ella, her sister just had to ask her to retell the whole story.

Ella listened with a glint in her eyes, seemingly thinking that her history with Lisa was a sign of destiny. And as she found herself describing how Lisa made her feel, Jennie couldn’t help but feel like maybe it really was.

----

The walk to Lisa’s workplace was very calm. The weather wasn’t messing with Jennie for once. It didn’t rain, so she wasn’t worried about being splashed, but it was still extremely cold. So much that she could see her breath every time she exhaled. She wondered if it was about time for the first snow. At least she knew that Ella would be making her way home in a car with heating.

Even from a distance, Jennie could recognise Lisa’s silhouette. The girl appeared to be closing up the place, meaning that Jennie caught her right at the end of her shift. The sound of her heels against cement gave away her presence very soon. Lisa turned towards her like she knew how her steps sounded by heart.

“Seriously? It’s freezing outside, and you’re wearing this?” she motioned to Lisa’s outfit. The girl only wore a hoodie and baggy jeans like they were in the middle of spring instead of the low, near-winter temperatures.

Lisa only smiled at her sheepishly, seemingly happy to see her regardless of the immediate scolding.

“I only have to go upstairs, and I’ll be home,” Lisa explained like it was the most obvious thing.

Jennie frowned. “And that’s exactly why you got sick.”

When she was finally in front of Lisa, Jennie wordlessly took off her scarf and wrapped it around Lisa’s neck instead.

“Better.”

“It smells like you,” Lisa murmured.

“That’s Chanel N°5 for you.”

“Then it smells expensive as well.”

Lisa looked at her fondly. Jennie gently touched the ends of the scarf hanging between them.

“How are you feeling?”

“I woke up much better today than the past three days.”

“I wonder why,” Jennie commented sarcastically.

She was glad Lisa got better. Her voice was back to normal, and she didn’t fall apart after a day of work, so that was definitely progress.

They both stood in front of the now closed shop, neither making a move to head upstairs.

“Are we gonna stay here all night?”

Jennie shook her head, feeling like she would ruin their moment if she made a single step.

She held up two fingers. “I have two things to tell you.”

“Okay. What are they?”

“First,” Jennie pressed her index forcefully on Lisa’s chest, poking her intentionally. “I really, really hated how we’ve been these past days. I don’t like it when you’re cold to me. It made me feel awful.”

“And I am extremely sorry about it,” Lisa apologised sincerely. “I never want you to feel like that around me.”

“Don’t do that again. I’d rather you talk to me. Like adults. No more running away. Got it?”

Jennie’s dramatic tone and sad pout were not exactly adult-like, but she hoped she got the point across. If Lisa ever had issues with her, she’d prefer her to be honest about it. So that she could figure out how to fix it.

“I will. I promise,” Lisa said. Then, she nervously asked, “What’s the second?”

Jennie looked down at her hands, twisting the scarf ends until she had them wrapped in her fists. She then looked up at Lisa, pulling her head lower with her hold until her mouth was close enough to kiss.

While Lisa wasn’t completely healed, a peck wouldn’t hurt. She let their lips meet with the gentlest touch, and somehow that was all Jennie needed to feel like everything was okay.

“The second is that you don’t get to kiss me like that and leave me hanging.”

“I…” Lisa was left speechless, but she didn’t dare to step back. She gladly let Jennie hold her close by the neck. “What does this mean?”

“What does this mean?” Jennie laughed quietly. “How about the meaning of what you did the other day?”

“Jennie… I need to know what you expect from me. I thought you wanted to find someone to date, but now you’re here and… I need to know what you want. Please.”

Jennie furrowed her brows. “Isn’t it obvious? I just want you to give me a chance.”

Lisa’s jaw dropped in disbelief. She looked at Jennie like she had gone insane. “Give you a chance?”

“Yeah.”

Their noses were barely touching, distracting Jennie. It would be easy to kiss her again.

“You want me,” she paused to point at herself, “to give you a chance?”

Jennie swallowed. “Yes.”

And then Lisa snorted. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Well, if I’m being unbelievable then tell me what you want from me?”

“Everything!” Lisa answered exasperated. “You’re asking me, the girl that had a crush on you in high school, that basically kissed the ground you walked on, to give you a chance?”

“That was in high school. It’s not the same. I’m not…” Jennie looked away nervously, “I’m not the same way I used to be when I was eighteen. I don’t think the crush you had on me is valid anymore.”

“Yeah,” Lisa said quietly. “Back then I thought you were straight and still fell for you. And now, you’re an adult and you speak to me and you’re still as beautiful as the day I first saw you, if not even more than that. And as a cherry on top, you’re also openly into girls. What do you think that makes of my silly high school crush, huh?”

“I was into girls back then as well.”

“Not into me,” Lisa argued.

“I’m definitely into you now,” Jennie said confidently.

Lisa was really just arguing with the wall. Jennie’s only worry had been making sure that Lisa liked her back, but apparently the other girl had the exact same concern in her head about Jennie’s feelings.

But then, Lisa’s hand came up to her cheek, tilting Jennie’s head back lightly. Her eyes were searching Jennie’s, as if to spot any sign that this moment was all a figment of her imagination. Jennie was certain that she found the answer she had been looking for.

“I lied,” Lisa said bluntly.

“Huh?”

“That day on the terrace, when I promised you that I wasn’t hiding anything else,” she clarified. “I lied. I was hiding the biggest part of it all.”

“That being?”

“That all the words I wrote in that letter started to become my reality again.” Lisa smiled faintly to herself, presumably relieved to admit the words out loud. “All I think about is you. How pretty you look when you smile at me, how warm your hand is when you hold mine, how good your voice sounds when you’re calling my name. My week is now differentiated by days with Jennie and days without Jennie.”

Lisa’s eyes dropped down to her lips then, her thumb tracing them delicately. “And for the past few days… well, all I’ve been thinking about was…”

Jennie didn’t need to hear her say it to know. After all, Jennie hadn’t been able to get the taste of Lisa’s lips out of her head either.

Even when she didn’t have a letter, Lisa had been able to express her feelings so well that all Jennie could do was stare at her in awe. Dating other people had been such a waste of time, Jennie concluded. How could she ever settle for anyone else when Lisa set her standards so high?

“So, what you’re saying is—”

“What I’m saying is that I never stood a chance. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to bury it? How hard I tried to force myself to stop imagining an us whenever I looked into your eyes? Only for me to fall for you all over again in less than a month. God, I felt so stupid for making the same mistake twice. And now you’re here, standing in front of me, asking for a chance?”

Jennie couldn’t help it. Lisa’s cheeks turned pink, and she was a little out of breath from the long speech. She looked too pretty. And Jennie was weak and not good with words, so she kissed her, a little longer than before but still chastely. Lisa certainly wasn’t complaining, moving her hand to hold Jennie’s jaw and kiss her again when she was about to retreat.

Jennie didn’t want to know how dumb her grin looked when Lisa let her pull away. She felt too happy to care.

“That’s correct,” she said simply.

“Jennie, I’d give you the moon if you asked me,” Lisa said against her lips.

“I don’t want the moon. I want you.”

“You have me. You’ve had me all this time.”

----

Chapter Text

Jennie forgot how the beginning of a relationship felt like. Unlike the cheesy rom-coms she watched obsessively, Jennie never had a love-at-first-sight experience. There was always a strong attraction, but feelings took their sweet time to develop. Slow and steady, not instant.

If her past relationships were anything to go by, Jennie expected to have a long way ahead with Lisa before things started to feel serious. And considering that she and Lisa were friends for a while before getting together, she didn’t anticipate any major changes besides the obvious addition of flirting and physical touch.

Clearly, she had heavily underestimated the intensity of the feelings that Lisa provoked.

It was so strange, almost concerning. She’d think of Lisa at random times, linking her to small parts of her day to fill the absence whenever they were apart. It wasn’t as though Jennie’s life was in monochrome before. For as long as she could remember, she had never relied on anyone to add colours around her. But Lisa brought these specks of light that made Jennie’s life seem a little brighter, and Jennie found herself wanting to be around her all the time.

Chaeyoung told her she found Jennie’s obsession rather cute.

But Jennie Kim did not obsess over people. So what was different about Lisa?

It wasn’t just about the feeling, Jennie concluded. She knew some people simply liked being in a relationship. A matter of loving the feeling more than the person, in some way. But Jennie didn’t think anyone could have the same effect that Lalisa Manoban had on her.

Maybe it was going to be temporary, she thought initially. A flame that burned bright and hot in the beginning, only to dim down the line. One of those relationships that started on the highest of highs and awaited the inevitable drop.

But in the three weeks she had spent being Lisa’s girlfriend, Jennie had not seen a single cloud in the horizon. And in the peacefulness of this new feeling, she granted herself the luxury of simply enjoying it.

“Jennie.”

Jennie hummed unconsciously.

A low laugh resounded right next to her.

“I can’t tell if you’re waking up or just stirring in bed.”

Her eyes fluttered open, disoriented.

No one was next to her.

“Well, I guess I’ll hang up,” she heard again, this time more quietly.

Immediately, Jennie dived out of her duvet to grab her phone from the pillow, cursing when it slipped from her fingers and fell on the floor.

“I’m awake,” she said as loudly as she could, stretching beyond the edge of her mattress to pick up the device and hold it to her ear, “I’m right here.”

“Oh, I wish you were right here,” Lisa commented.

Jennie tiredly rubbed her eyes, trying to deal with the sleepiness still in her body and Lisa’s morning voice at the same time. “I could have been right there if you had let me stay last night.”

“You’re the one that said it would be a bad idea when you have to work the next day.”

Jennie laughed silently, sitting back against the headboard of her bed. “I can’t help it. You can be very distracting.”

“Jennie.”

“Okay, okay, no teasing first thing in the morning.” She paused. “Because it’s morning, right?”

“Yeah,” Lisa breathed. “My alarm went off and I saw our call still going.”

Jennie looked at her screen. “Nine hours. Impressive.”

The phone call started the previous night, when Lisa insisted for Jennie to stay on the line while she made her way home. When Jennie finally got to her apartment, she didn’t feel the need to hang up, continuing to talk to Lisa throughout the evening and leaving her on speaker when she had to carry out her nightly routine. Her day ended with Lisa’s voice next to her while she laid in bed, and seemingly neither of them hung up before finally falling asleep.

“I’m going to start getting ready. I need to leave for work soon,” Lisa said, sounding apologetic.

“Take it easy, please.”

“Oh, it’s been ages since I was sick. I’m full of energy, trust me. Never been better.”

“Is that so?” Jennie smiled, knowing well why Lisa was putting emphasis on her improved condition. “Good to hear.”

“Yes. Today I’m feeling extra better,” Lisa continued. “So, just wondering, will I be able to see you soon?”

“Why? Do you miss me already?”

“Like crazy.”

Jennie bit her lip. It seemed like Lisa woke up on the right side of the bed.

“I guess I could make some time to see you today,” Jennie mused, although she already started making plans in her head. She was definitely seeing her girl today.

“Or I could come to you. Just tell me when and where.”

“It’s fine,” Jennie laughed quietly. “I’ll see you this evening, Lisa.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“And I’ll let you focus on getting ready now.” Jennie said teasingly. “I hope you think of me the whole day.”

“You don’t need to tell me. It happens anyways.”

----

Lisa genuinely looked surprised to see her walk through the door of the fast-food place later that evening. Almost as if she had assumed that getting together led to a big change and Jennie would decide to never stop by again.

There were notable differences, admittedly. For instance, instead of a friendly greeting, Jennie now had the pleasure of having Lisa’s eyes look her up and down appreciatively, something she would have never been caught doing before they started dating. Jennie had a feeling it still used to happen, but Lisa must have been subtle about it.

Approaching the front counter, Jennie leaned her arm on its surface and batted her eyelashes at the frozen girl standing behind it, a flirty smile appearing easily on her lips.

“I need your keys,” she said casually.

“Well, hello. Nice to see you too,” Lisa said sarcastically, though she couldn’t hide the way her mood instantly brightened at Jennie’s visit. “Do you have a thing for breaking into my apartment now?”

“It’s not breaking in if I have the keys,” Jennie deadpanned, holding up her palm waiting to receive them.

“Right now?” Lisa questioned with a hint of disappointment. Asking for her keys meant that Jennie wouldn’t stick around for the rest of her shift.

“Yes. Otherwise, it won’t be ready on time.”

“What won’t be ready?”

As if she had been waiting to be asked, Jennie lifted up her other arm, proudly showing her full shopping bag. “Your dinner!”

Right after work, Jennie had spent a good hour browsing the fanciest supermarket she could find, carefully selecting fresh ingredients in preparation for her plans for the night. Last time she had the opportunity to cook for Lisa was during her sick days, and Jennie couldn’t deny how much she truly enjoyed taking care of her.

Lisa’s lips curved at the enthusiasm. “You didn’t have to—”

“—but I wanted to,” Jennie finished off for her. Her palm was still awaiting between them. Seeing that Lisa still wouldn’t budge, Jennie added, “The kiss you’ve been waiting for won’t happen if we’re stuck here.”

A moment of silence ensued, but then a loud snort from the staff area burst their little bubble. Presumably, Ryujin was also on shift that late afternoon. Lisa’s cheeks turned red immediately, prompting her to start touching her pockets until she located her keys and hastily placed them in Jennie’s hand.

Jennie only smiled satisfied, not bothered in the least by their audience. What Jennie wanted, Jennie shall receive.

As she left, she made sure to blow a kiss to her blushing girl. “See you soon, darling.”

Time seemed to fly whenever Lisa was involved. One moment Jennie was unpacking everything she had bought in Lisa’s kitchen, and the next she was turning off the stove and hearing Lisa knocking at the door. Jennie almost thought it was a random stranger until she remembered that she had deprived Lisa of her house keys an hour prior.

Lisa didn’t have a dining table, but Jennie comfortably set up the tableware on the living room coffee table like they used to do when they were just friends hanging out. She tried to be a little fancier this time, adding a candle to set up the mood.

Since she was right in the middle of the line of sight from the bathroom door, Jennie couldn’t keep her preparations a surprise—Lisa saw them as soon as she stepped out of the shower. She then panicked about being underdressed, but Jennie pulled her by the wrist until she dropped on the floor next to her.

She didn’t tell Lisa that her after-shower look was easily one of her favourites.

“How much do I owe you for the shopping?” was the first thing Lisa asked, grabbing her phone to open her online banking app. Jennie snatched the device out of her hands and left it on the sofa behind them.

“You owe me your undivided attention.”

“That’s something I give you all the time for free,” Lisa replied.

Jennie never understood couples that sat opposite each other while eating. Having Lisa next to her meant that the girl’s arm was around her waist in a matter of seconds, her other hand resting on her knee.

With her index under Lisa’s chin to make sure she looked at nothing but her, Jennie could only say, “Well, aren’t I lucky for that?”

Lisa rolled her eyes at the suggestive tone, but Jennie’s bright smile was enough to make her lean forward and give her the first kiss of the evening. It always started slow and shy, Lisa taking all the time she needed to enjoy the feeling of Jennie’s lips. Except when it came to Jennie, one kiss was never enough, and soon many more followed. Each more intense than the previous one.

It was one of the many perks of being promoted past the friend stage.

Their little moment was interrupted by Lisa’s buzzing phone, at which point Jennie had a clear view of the girl’s lockscreen.

“You have to change that,” Jennie gasped in shock, grabbing the phone before Lisa had the chance to. The cat was long gone, replaced by a photo of Jennie herself. “I look absolutely hideous.”

“If you’re hideous then what does that make of me?” Lisa commented humorously. She managed to get the device back and look at the photo lovingly. “And I think you look beautiful. All the time.”

“I’m in my pyjamas and I have no makeup on, and my hair looks like a mess,” Jennie started listing in distress, “and the lighting is awful.”

“You’re the one that sent it to me.”

That part was most definitely true. Jennie had sent it amidst a playful conversation, but she didn’t put half as much effort in making it a good picture as other ones she sent Lisa.

“I didn’t think you’d make it your lockscreen!”

“I’ll change it back if you don’t like it,” Lisa offered reassuringly.

The fact that Lisa had her photo as her lockscreen was not a problem at all. Jennie would even say that she rejoiced at the thought of being the first sight Lisa saw whenever she used her phone. But that photo? Surely there were hundreds of other options where she looked at least a little more presentable.

“No, no, I like it. I want it to be me.” Jennie stopped Lisa’s attempt to open her gallery in search of cat pictures. “But why did you pick this one?”

“Well, when I first looked at it, for a moment I just thought… that I’m one of the few that gets to see you like this.” Lisa explained calmly. “The version of you that’s only for the eyes of those close to you. I like the feeling of being one of them.”

As she finished speaking, Lisa must have felt conscious under Jennie’s heart-eyed gaze. She shyly cleared her throat and grabbed the chopsticks on the table, mumbling something about the food getting cold to change the subject of their conversation.

“I’ll send you a better one,” Jennie muttered at last.

Later that night, in the privacy of her bedroom, Jennie had decided to wear her sexiest silk pyjama set. She made sure her face was fresh from her skincare routine, and that her hair was brushed to achieve the casual look she aimed for. Then, she adjusted the lights of her room and lay on her bed, posing as sensually as she could before she snapped a photo.

When the picture was delivered to Lisa, the girl made it very clear that she was NOT making that her public lockscreen. Apparently, that version of Jennie was exclusively for her eyes only.

----

The shift to becoming an official couple came easily. Unlike Ella suggested, Jennie didn’t have the time for unclear labels. She was either in a relationship, or she was single. Lisa thought the same, or to be more precise, she was very happy at the prospect of calling Jennie her girlfriend.

Lisa messaged her during her breaks, aware that Jennie couldn’t be on the phone during her work hours. Jennie called during her lunch, knowing that Lisa had no issue in picking up the phone when the fast-food place wasn’t too busy.

Awkward silence was not really a concern. Even when they weren’t saying anything, Jennie found comfort in knowing that Lisa was there, content with listening to her silence too. At times, Mina would catch her carefree smiles and send her an amused glance, without ever questioning the cause.

People noticed, evidently. Not in a nosy, invasive way. There was just a different aura to Jennie since she started being with Lisa. It wasn’t a massive difference, but a clear sign that there was a certain someone in her life now.

It wasn’t just a matter of being able to say “I have a girlfriend.”

What made Jennie the proudest was the right to tell the world, “Lalisa Manoban is my girlfriend.”

Although her job did the most to hinder the time she had to enjoy the benefits that came with that label.

For the third day in a row, Jennie sat in her office surrounded by empty desks. Most of the rooms in the building had already been vacated at the usual clock out time, leaving Jennie in the yellow hues of her department ceiling lights hours past it.

Raising her arms and linking her fingers above her head, Jennie stretched her back and let out a tired groan, her eyes locating the wall clock to take note of the time. She began to collect all the loose papers scattered on her desk, gathering them in a pile and tapping the bottom on a flat surface to even the edges.

While staying at work late wasn’t exactly her favourite task, Jennie appreciated the peaceful atmosphere of being the only one left in the office. She obviously adored her team, but being alone allowed her mind to take a break, not having anyone else’s thoughts or ideas in the way. In a time where she had to completely focus on the upcoming projects, reducing distractions helped quite a bit.

But once she could pack her things and put on her coat, Jennie only looked forward to leaving. It was almost as if her brain pressed the little red x on the windows and tabs opened in her brain, giving her a fresh state of mind.

Her exit routine was almost always the same. She walked to the most spacious of the two available lifts on her floor, not having to wait long when there was significantly less traffic in the building. Once she reached the ground floor, she removed her lanyard and scanned her ID to let herself out, shoving the card in her bag once she stepped past the security gates.

Then, Jennie’s sole aim was to get out. As soon as she could walk through the revolving doors at the front, she could finally detach herself from work. No more reading, no more assessing, no more approving. As though the weight of her responsibilities remained in the building when she left.

But there was something more than that relief. Something that only a specific person could bring her.

And that very same person was unexpectedly waiting outside, casually sitting on a bench with her legs stretched out.

Jennie almost didn’t recognise her. Mostly, the fact that it was an unannounced visit made her feel slightly disoriented.

The hood of Lisa’s big jacket covered her head, but Jennie saw the familiar scarf she gave her weeks ago adorning her neck. Once Lisa spotted her approaching, she stood up, hands in her pockets as she offered a timid smile.

Jennie’s confusion didn’t hold for long, completely crushed by sudden joy.

Led by instinct, Jennie didn’t think twice before rushing to Lisa’s arms.

There’d be time for the how’s and the why’s, her priorities were very clear.

Planting her mouth on Lisa’s smiling lips over and over was first on the list.

“Ouch, ouch—Jennie!”

The second was to drill into Lisa’s brain that being out in the cold was not good for her health.

“You. Will. Get. Sick. Again!” Jennie stated, each word followed by a slap on the shoulder.

Hearing Lisa’s carefree laugh was exactly what Jennie needed to revitalise. Hours of work faded from her system, replaced by the warmth Lisa brought to her.

The reason behind her visit should’ve been predictable, yet Jennie still found herself surprised. It seemed that during their phone calls, Lisa paid attention not only to her words, but also her tone.

Earlier in the day, Jennie had offhandedly mentioned that she hated her journey home whenever she worked overtime. It was always cold and dark and everything she despised. In the moment, she simply wanted to complain, not realising that Lisa had picked up on her frustration.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” Jennie told her as they walked hand in hand to the train station. “I could get used to this.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” was all Lisa said in response.

Jennie didn’t think Lisa realised just how much her words and actions influenced her vision of their future. Because someone like Lisa fit perfectly into her life. And Jennie found it harder and harder not to imagine sharing it with her for a really long time.

It frightened her at times. Creating expectations was often a set up for failure.

When they boarded the train, Lisa ensured to stay by Jennie’s side, scanning the people around them quickly.

The train wasn’t crowded, but most seats were taken, leaving the girls standing. Jennie listened as Lisa talked her through her day at work, partly to keep her entertained but also to simply hear her voice as long as she could.

Truthfully, Jennie missed being around the fast-food shop. Besides the addition of overtime stealing all her free afternoons, Lisa had been coming over to her place more often, meaning that Jennie didn’t get a chance to snoop around and collect work updates.

“The new guy is a customer-magnet,” Lisa said with an incredulous shake of head, “girls come in just to be served by him. It’s baffling.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Not when he’s bad at literally everything else.”

“Oh, come on. You’re too harsh on him.”

“He is the most incompetent person we’ve ever hired.“

Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Then why did you hire him, exactly?”

“Nepotism.”

“Huh?”

“The son of one of Jisoo’s distant relatives,” Lisa clarified.

“Ah, I see,” Jennie nodded. “Is he nice at least?”

“Well, based on the number of apologies he gives out every time he messes up, I guess so?” Lisa said noncommittally. “He’s lucky that the business is thriving thanks to his good looks.”

“He does have a pretty face, to be fair.” Jennie shrugged, recalling the one time she did see him on shift.

Lisa hummed in acknowledgement, her lips in a straight line.

“Don’t be jealous now.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re sulking.”

“I’m not!” Lisa insisted, “But I see his charm worked on you too.”

“Incorrect,” Jennie tapped her nose. “It’s only your pretty face that works on me, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah?” Lisa smiled, pleased. “Only mine?”

“Only yours.”

Jennie’s updates of the day weren’t as entertaining, but Lisa listened attentively either way.  Being tired casted a dramatic shadow on anything she said, which Lisa seemed to find amusing.

But at some point, amidst Jennie’s complaints about outrageous coffee prices, she lost Lisa’s attention. As self-centered as it may have sounded, it was rather abnormal for that to happen. It was one of the things Jennie loved to tease Lisa about.

Lisa’s head would turn minimally, enough for the group of people behind her to enter her peripheral view. Jennie curiously looked past the other girl, trying to locate the source of Lisa’s distraction.

The only weird vibes she sensed originated from a man standing across the carriage from them. He was wearing a mask and a beanie, but Jennie saw his eyes glance her way multiple times. It wouldn’t have been unusual for strangers in close proximity to make accidental eye contact, but the fact that the man didn’t look away when Jennie caught him looking was enough of a giveaway that his intentions were not innocent.

Jennie didn’t mention it, yet Lisa wordlessly moved in front of her, covering the man’s line of sight completely. Jennie was startled by the sudden change in position, looking up at her girlfriend towering over her protectively. Her hand easily grabbed one of the hanging straps suspended from the train ceiling for support, something that Jennie could never do with her limited height.

When Jennie focused on Lisa’s face, she took notice of the unusual, hardened gaze.

“Do you want to get off?”

“It’s only a couple of stops,” Jennie replied, although her focus completely shifted to how hot Lisa looked when she was annoyed. “I’m fine, really.”

“Just say the word and we can leave,” Lisa continued. “And I really don’t like that you have to make this journey at night by yourself.”

“Taeyang used to pick me up when we were together, so I thought the logical change would be to take the train like I usually do.” Jennie pursed her lips in thought. She didn’t want to minimise the issue because that would be stupidly careless, but without a car she had limited options. “I can get a taxi from tomorrow.”

“I can pick you up too.”

“And make you do the journey to my workplace by yourself?” Jennie raised an eyebrow. “No chance. Maybe this will serve as motivation to get my license eventually.”

“You said you cried when you had to go around a roundabout last time.”

“They are terrifying!” Jennie insisted.

During one of her driving lessons, she had been frozen at a roundabout entrance, overwhelmed by the number of cars that just kept passing in front of her. She just couldn’t figure out how long she was supposed to give way to other vehicles. A mortifying experience.

“You also said you get scared when there’s a truck behind you on the highway.”

Jennie didn’t like being called out on her poor driving experience so much.

She was born to be a passenger princess.

“Because they’re so huge and intimidating. Like a bear next to a kitten.”

Finally, Lisa’s expression relaxed. At least Jennie’s nightmares on the road served a purpose.

Distracted by Lisa’s amused smile, Jennie made the mistake of looking down.

When they entered and felt the train’s heating on, Lisa had unzipped her jacket. Now that she was right in front of her with her arm stretched above, her shirt had risen up slightly, giving Jennie the wonderful view of her abdomen. She wondered how it would feel to run her hand over it, whether it would feel just as firm as it looked.

Great. Now she was being a pervert on the train.

Lisa had definitely caught her in the act, if her cheeky grin was anything to go by.

“I wasn’t doing anything!” Jennie whispered-yelled, glad to see Lisa’s happier mood but also flustered for the reason behind the change.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Okay, good.”

Jennie turned her head to look outside the windows, avoiding Lisa’s playful eyes. When she refused to look back at her, Lisa simply kissed the top of her head.

“You’re pretty when you blush.”

----

Jennie wasn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection. Being stuck behind touchy-feely couples on escalators made her feel extremely awkward, not to speak of those that kissed right next to her on lifts. Certain moments could just wait, surely.

For that exact reason, all it took was getting out of the public eye for Jennie to say fuck it and kiss Lisa in the middle of an empty street.

The perfect example of being mindful and respectful.

When she didn’t have an audience to worry about, Jennie didn’t bother holding back.

The best part was that Lisa never complained, more than happy to welcome any form of affection from Jennie.

Lisa always kissed her like she had been waiting her whole life to do so. At times, she’d hold Jennie’s jaw tenderly and tilt her head up to look into her eyes with such adoration that made Jennie wonder what was going on in that beautiful little mind of hers.

Somehow, Jennie could tell that Lisa enjoyed the idea of having Jennie’s lips all to herself. Even when they were outside and meant to behave.

“I need to walk you home,” Lisa whispered against her mouth, pulling her head back every time Jennie tried to chase after her lips.

It was nice when Lisa took the role of being the voice of reason. It meant that Jennie could be as shameless as she wanted.

“What you need to do is to shut up and kiss me,” Jennie insisted, already on her way to resume what Lisa had so kindly interrupted.

Gripping the sides of Lisa’s jacket to pull her closer, Jennie couldn’t have sounded more seductive.

Until her heel missed the edge of the sidewalk, suddenly pushing her off balance. With less than a second to react, Jennie let out a surprised yelp, her hands frantically searching for something to grab onto.

Lisa was quick to wrap a steady arm around her waist, not bothered by the death-grip Jennie’s fingers had on her elbow. Worried eyes searched hers, but at the sight of Jennie’s outraged expression, Lisa could only suppress a laugh.

“Pretend you didn’t see that.”

“Hard to miss, unfortunately.”

“This is your fault.”

“How?”

“You tried to be responsible.”

“And you tried to be reckless!”

Jennie huffed. “I was supposed to be hot and sexy.”

It soon became clear that saying no to Jennie Kim wasn’t really an option. Finally giving in, Lisa pulled her closer by the waist, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her pouting lips. “Who said you weren’t?”

It was official. Jennie couldn’t keep her hands off her girlfriend. It was the only plausible conclusion Jennie came to. In the entirety of the five minutes that it took them to walk from the station to Jennie’s apartment building, she had maintained her eyes on Lisa and her magnificent side profile, trusting the other girl to lead the way instead.

Jennie remembered to smile at the concierge, hoping that the desire igniting every cell in her body wasn’t visible to him. She could barely stand still as they stepped into the lift, waiting for the doors to shut completely before she had Lisa pressed against the mirror of the metal box.

Kisses inside lifts were completely acceptable if they were alone, Jennie confirmed.

Feeling more relaxed now that they had some sort of privacy, Lisa gladly kissed back just as fiercely, her fingers curling around the belt loops of Jennie’s trousers to hold her in place.

The infamous ding signalling the arrival at their floor put an end to their short makeout session. Jennie stepped back on her side of the lift like nothing happened and checked her lipstick on the mirror while Lisa steadied her breathing.

Once the doors opened, Jennie calmly strolled out. Lisa unwrapped the scarf from her neck, feeling like her face was as red as a tomato.

They were silent in the corridor. Jennie inserted the code on her keypad to unlock the door, while Lisa leaned her back against the wall and waited.

When Jennie opened the front door and looked over her shoulder expectantly, Lisa could only follow her inside.

At first, Lisa took a few seconds to look around, the apartment feeling a lot more like a home now. Jennie had decorated a little, the shelves were full, and the floors were clean of storage boxes.

In the time Lisa spent observing, Jennie took off her coat and hung it up next to the door. She got her feet out of her heels and placed them neatly under it alongside her other pairs of shoes. Lisa followed her lead and shrugged off her jacket, leaving it on the arm of Jennie’s sofa.

“You did a great job,” she commented.

When Lisa was about to take her scarf off as well, Jennie stopped her. Just like the night she had given it to her, she used the ends of it to pull Lisa toward her, continuing where they left off in the lift.

“We just got here,” Lisa murmured, not protesting when Jennie guided her to sit on the sofa.

“And? You want a tour of the place?” Jennie responded sarcastically, placing her legs on either side of the seated girl until she was straddling her. “Coffee?” She kissed her. “Tea?” She kissed her again. “Or maybe a cold glass of milk?”

She removed the scarf from Lisa’s neck completely and threw it across the room.

“Are you enjoying this?”

“Very much,” Jennie grinned, holding Lisa’s face between her hands. “Unless you’re not?”

Lisa grabbed her by the waist and pushed her down, turning until Jennie laid with her back against the sofa. The sudden movement elicited a surprised squeal from Jennie.

“I’m having a great time,” Lisa said looking down at her.

Jennie lifted herself until she could reach Lisa’s mouth again, wrapping both arms around her neck to pull her down with her.

As much as having Lisa on top of her turned her on, Jennie was not sure how far they would go. They never spoke about being intimate, but they didn’t shy away from it either. The most they had done was some touching over clothing, but it happened far too many times to be just a moment of lost composure. Jennie hoped that Lisa felt as eager to touch her as she did.

Her thoughts halted when Lisa reached for one of her hands, pulling it towards herself. The intensity of her gaze made Jennie’s knees feel weak.

“What are you doing?” Jennie questioned curiously.

She got her answer soon enough.

Lisa lifted her shirt to let Jennie’s hand inside, pressing it against her abdomen like Jennie had daydreamed moments prior.

“Oh.” Jennie let her fingers spread, feeling the defined muscles under her touch. “That’s...”

“Meet your expectations?”

“Yes, fuck,” Jennie breathed, not being able to stop her hand from touching Lisa’s skin.

After they got together, Jennie’s little obsession had only grown stronger. Not only was Lisa aware of it, but she made the most of it too.

When Jennie had asked her if her muscles were a result of regular gym sessions, Lisa had only looked away embarrassed. Lisa told her she couldn’t really pay for a membership, so she started working out at home.

And when Jennie asked her when she had started, the rosy colour adorning Lisa’s cheeks were enough of an answer. So, if there was one thing Jennie was confident in was that those muscles were definitely hers to enjoy.

Her hand remained under Lisa’s shirt as her girlfriend leaned down to connect their lips once more. In that moment, Jennie could fully appreciate the silence of her apartment. The only sounds Jennie wanted to hear were Lisa’s kisses and her breaths and her moans and everything in between.

The temperature was rising, Lisa’s body melting against hers, yet Jennie wanted to pull her closer, feel her closer. With her hand still on bare skin, Jennie began to slide her hand up, guiding the hem of Lisa’s shirt with the movement.

Everything was going so well. Too well.

So, of course, Jennie’s phone had to ring.

Jennie’s immediate reaction was to ignore it. She held Lisa’s jaw to make sure she didn’t pull away, continuing to kiss her until she couldn’t anymore.

“You should get that,” Lisa mumbled a little out of breath, rolling onto her side and draping a leg over Jennie’s lower body when her girlfriend tried to switch their positions. “Answer, it’s okay. It might be important.”

Jennie shot Lisa a look of annoyance, though not directed at her. Lisa could only smile apologetically, once again motioning towards the ringing device.

With a frustrated sigh, Jennie removed her hand from inside Lisa’s shirt, shoving it in her trousers’ front pocket to pull out her phone. “Annoying piece of shit.”

An unknown number was flashing on her screen, making her hesitate before answering.

“Hey Jennie, it’s Jisoo. I need you to save my relationship while we’re still on time.”

“Excuse me?”

“My relationship is falling apart.”

Jennie exhaled slowly. That was not what she wanted to deal with that night.

Lisa had opted to rest her head on top of her chest, allowing Jennie to play with her hair aimlessly.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Yes!” Jisoo almost yelled desperately. “It’s a disaster!”

“What did you do now?”

“I—why do you assume it’s my fault?”

Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Is it not?”

“Okay, yeah, it is. But not entirely,” Jisoo made sure to clarify. “Chaeyoung wanted to drink tonight but I don’t drink much so I stayed sober. But then after a couple of bottles of soju she asked me ‘would you still love me if I was a worm?’ And like, in that moment, I just pictured a slimy worm in my head and went ‘hell, no.’ Because that’s logical, right? I’m not into worms! But Chaeyoung started tearing up as if I said I hated her and kicked me out of the apartment and isn’t answering my calls and now I’m home and worried I screwed up for good.”

Jennie stayed silent. She continued to run her hand through Lisa’s hair gently as the other girl closed her eyes comfortably.

“I don’t even know what to say right now.”

Knowing her friend like she did, Jennie was certain it was not serious in the slightest. Chaeyoung got a bit emotional when she was drunk, and given that her reconciliation with Jisoo was still recent, she probably got carried away.

Jisoo told her that she couldn’t see Chaeyoung tomorrow due to an early hospital shift. Jennie reassured her she’d drop by and check on her instead, although her tone let some of her annoyance slip. After all, Jisoo had interrupted her in a pretty heated moment.

After hanging up, she switched off her phone completely and left it on the floor. She wasn’t risking anyone else calling her. Lisa didn’t utter a single word throughout, seemingly enjoying cuddling just as much as she enjoyed making out.

With her free hand, Jennie reached down to stroke Lisa’s thigh that was still resting on top of her body.

“Lili?”

“Hmm?”

“Would you still like me if I was a worm?” she questioned with a smile.

Lisa stayed quiet for a few seconds. Then, she opened one eye, looking up at Jennie through her lashes. “Maybe.”

Jennie laughed. She had expected a harsh no. “Maybe?”

“Yeah. If I was also a worm, I would think you were the most beautiful invertebrate to slither on Earth.”

“You’re so cute. I didn’t know you were so smooth with your words.”

“I’m not,” Lisa clarified. “I just like you a lot.”

“How much is a lot?”

Lisa leaned on her elbow to lift herself off Jennie. Like before, she grabbed one of Jennie’s hands, but brought it to her chest this time. Right above her heart.

“Do you feel that?”

“Yeah,” Jennie whispered, never taking her eyes off Lisa.

“My heart has been beating like this for you since I was fifteen.”

Jennie smiled.

So fucking smooth.

She retracted her hand, now reaching for her blouse collar and undoing several buttons, all under Lisa’s intense gaze. She then grabbed Lisa’s hand that was just holding hers and placed it on her bare chest, feeling the hesitancy in Lisa’s touch over her skin.

“How’s that?”

“Warm.”

“I meant my heartbeat.”

Lisa traced the area with her fingers, before she leaned down to replace the touch with her lips. Jennie welcomed the gentle kisses, holding Lisa’s neck as she let out a satisfied sigh.

Following Jennie’s pull, Lisa moved up to kiss her collarbone, and then found her pulse point right under her jaw. Jennie turned her head to kiss her mouth.

Lisa didn’t completely pull away, instead placing a small peck on Jennie’s nose and smiling brightly at her when their eyes met.

“So? How was my heartbeat?” Jennie asked again.

With Lisa’s touch on her skin, Jennie knew it had only gotten faster.

“Beautiful. Like the rest of you.”

----

Chapter Text

Jennie woke up to a finger softly tracing the skin of her back.

A touch that was so gentle, yet lacked hesitancy. It was a natural consequence of growing familiar with one’s body, Jennie presumed. Her muscles relaxed almost automatically, recognising the comforting gesture. As the soothing motions continued, Jennie let out a pleased hum, content to wake up in absolute peace.

“You have a tattoo?”

Lisa’s voice was barely above a whisper, but her simple question elicited a slow exhale from Jennie.

Since its position didn’t make it exactly visible, Jennie often forgot about the ink on her shoulder. Now that Lisa mentioned it, she started to reminisce about the day she decided it was a good idea to get tattooed.

“Got it in a moment of rebellion,” Jennie replied quietly.

Given that it was still dark outside her bedroom windows, Jennie safely assumed she had only been asleep for a couple of hours. She wasn’t sure if Lisa had slept at all.

“With Sana?”

Memories of drinking until the early hours of the morning, wearing a leather jacket that wasn’t hers, and smoking from the same cigarette that touched the lips of the girl she liked started to flash through her mind.

Jennie opened her eyes, every trace of sleepiness gone as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her.

“Yeah. She was with me.”

Sana had been the one to suggest a butterfly. Jennie found it poetic back then. Now she barely remembered the meaning of it. Thankfully, the tattoo had never been dedicated to anyone but herself.

Lisa nodded even though Jennie couldn’t see her.

“Does the thought of her bother you?” Jennie asked.

Lisa stopped the movement of her finger. “Why do you think that?”

“The way you reacted after you first met her,” Jennie said. “I’ve never seen you be so… frustrated with me.”

“I wasn’t frustrated with you.” Lisa kissed her on the back of her shoulder, right on top of her butterfly tattoo. Her lips then moved further down, probably to the mole on her back that Lisa seemed to absolutely love.

Jennie turned around then, letting her head rest on Lisa’s forearm.

“Why then? I thought I made it clear that she meant nothing to me.”

Lisa seemed to consider whether or not to answer. For a moment, Jennie thought she’d move away from the topic. In the silence that followed, Lisa carefully studied every feature of Jennie’s face, as if she was trying to memorise each and every detail. She tucked a few strands of hair behind Jennie’s ear, her thumb gently tracing the curve of her jaw.

Somehow, Jennie didn’t sense avoidance—Lisa was simply thinking. Perhaps, admitting her feelings came easier at night, when it was just the two of them. Jennie couldn’t quite tell what was on her mind; all she could do was wait until Lisa had it figured out.

“I couldn’t help but compare it to my situation. How easily I fell for you again. How Sana would be a fool not to go through the same thing.” Lisa sighed, averting her gaze somewhat shamefully. The pads of her fingers glided softly along Jennie’s arm. “I was angry because I knew if that happened, you’d pick her over me.”

Once it was close enough, Jennie caught Lisa’s hand, holding it tenderly between them.

“Angry at me?”

Lisa’s gaze lingered on their interlocked fingers.

“Never at you.”

Seeing that Lisa was refusing to look at her, Jennie took the opportunity to push away the duvet and sit up. Lisa’s eyes couldn’t help but follow the movement, Jennie’s bare chest being the biggest distraction to ever exist. She gently pushed Lisa onto her back, pressing her down against the mattress, and then took a seat on her favourite place, straddling Lisa’s abdomen comfortably.

One hand rested on the pillow beneath Lisa’s head to support herself, while the other brushed Lisa’s bangs out of the way to get a clear view of her eyes.

“Aren’t you cute when you overthink and get jealous?” Jennie kissed her on the cheek.

Lisa looked even prettier under the moonlight. Jennie wanted to see her like this every night.

“I was being serious,” Lisa argued weakly, bringing her hands to hold Jennie by the hips.

“Well, I’m being serious now when I say there is not a single chance that I’d pick Sana, or anyone for that matter, over you.” She kissed her on the lips this time, long and slow. “And if it puts your heart at ease, Sana is seeing someone now. Living with them too.”

“Good for her,” Lisa whispered, having no interest in Sana’s life whatsoever. Not when Jennie was sitting on top of her in all of her naked glory.

“The tattoo is not linked to her in any way either.”

“I didn’t think it would be. But I would’ve liked it regardless,” Lisa admitted with a shrug. “Do you have any others?”

“You would’ve seen them by now if I did,” Jennie smirked, receiving a pinch on her thigh and an amused eye roll in response. “But I’ve thought about getting another.”

“Yeah?” Lisa questioned with genuine curiosity. “Where would you get it?”

Jennie grabbed Lisa’s hand, guiding her fingers to the side of her waist.

“Here,” she whispered.

Lisa licked her bottom lip. “And what would you get?”

“Something small. Simple. Maybe a word, I’m not sure.”

Lisa hummed, her fingers slowly drawing circles over the area where Jennie envisioned her next tattoo.

“Anything looks good on you either way.”

“Would you come with me? If I decide to get it.”

“I’d follow you anywhere, Jennie.”

Jennie’s lips found the skin of Lisa’s neck, starting with tender touches. Her ears listened attentively, capturing every sound that Lisa let out in response. Once she picked up on her uneven breathing, she parted her lips slightly, prolonging each kiss until Lisa couldn’t hold back a desperate groan.

“Do you believe me now? Can you feel that I want you the most?” Jennie asked a little breathless, facing Lisa to reveal the teasing look in her eyes.

Lisa couldn’t say anything, too distracted by the slow movements of Jennie’s hips, steadily rubbing back and forth on her abdomen.

“I…”

“Cat got your tongue?” Jennie smirked against her lips, certain that Lisa could feel exactly how much Jennie wanted her.

Lisa bit her lower lip. Jennie freed it with her thumb.

“Answer me.”

“Jennie, I need you to…” Lisa whispered, her mind focused elsewhere.

“To do what?” Jennie encouraged, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

Taking care of her arousal was not the only reason that Jennie loved this position. Her favourite part was watching Lisa’s eyes locked onto her body, mesmerised by each and every motion. She wouldn’t describe it as a power, not exactly. It was something deeper, more intimate. A special gift. One only Jennie possessed.

“Do you have any idea of how lucky I feel to have you in this lifetime?”

Jennie stilled her movements, not expecting such a question. Lisa was now looking directly into her eyes. Her gaze was almost too innocent for the moment, the words accompanied with raw emotion.

Seeing that she had left her speechless, Lisa continued. “I don’t think you understand. Sometimes I look at you and wonder what I’ve done in my mundane existence to deserve a woman like you.”

“Well, for one, making me a burger.”

Lisa let out a quiet laugh. And finally, Jennie got to see the smile she loved so much.

“The best you ever had.”

“And so are you,” Jennie added, quickly pressing her mouth to Lisa’s before she got to argue.

Between getting kicked in the shin and being kissed like there was no tomorrow, Lisa had a clear preference on the way she liked to be shut up. Jennie had learnt very quickly how Lisa’s body reacted to her touch.

But in quiet, meaningful moments like these, she was also beginning to understand the subtle ways that Lisa’s mind responded to her attentive words and lingering thoughts.

When Lisa suddenly flipped them over, Jennie stopped thinking, only able to whine at the lack of contact. When Lisa’s hand pressed firmly between her legs, Jennie desperately chased for more, her hips lifting unconsciously.

Just like Jennie, Lisa had also spent valuable time learning the language of Jennie’s body. She knew how long to tease her, and recognised when she was dragging it out for too long. She knew when to be gentle and when it was time to be a little more rough. All these details were not difficult to pick up.

In that sense, they couldn’t have been any more compatible.

Jennie wrapped her arms around Lisa’s neck and kissed her hard, whispering, “You’re not concerned about who I like now?” with a playful tone. Lisa was quick to turn her soft laugh into a moan, touching her exactly where she needed her the most.

That was the easy part, frankly. The human body rarely knew how to lie, after all.

The greatest problem was that, unlike physical reactions, the mind didn’t have many issues faking it. And eventually, Jennie would also learn that she had never been good at spotting a game of pretend.

----

Chaeyoung was asleep on the sofa with one leg falling out of her blanket when Jennie found her.

After the most wonderful morning spent in Lisa’s arms, Jennie was reminded of the call from the previous night once she turned on her phone. While she had been pissed at the interruption, Lisa had made up for it the whole night, letting Jennie wake up on a much better note.

“Wakey-wakey,” she sang close to Chaeyoung’s ear, watching her scrunch up her nose in response.

“Rosie,” she tried again, shaking her shoulder. “It’s midday.”

Finally, Chaeyoung’s eyes blinked open. Her eyebrows furrowed at the bright environment, a low groan escaping her lips.

“Jen?” she asked confused, her voice hoarse. “What are you doing here?”

“Jisoo called me saying you kicked her out yesterday.”

“I did?” Chaeyoung questioned tiredly, rubbing her eyes with her hands. “Sounds like something drunk-me would do. What was the reason again?”

“She wouldn’t love you if you were a worm.”

Chaeyoung burst out laughing, then winced in pain. “Ouch. Don’t make me laugh, my head is pounding right now.”

“I’m assuming you’re not throwing your relationship away over that?”

“As if,” Chaeyoung shook her head. “Worms are gross.”

“Well, I’m sure Jisoo will be happy to hear that.”

And hopefully she won’t call Jennie at the wrong time again.

While Chaeyoung took her time to wash up and deal with her hangover, Jennie easily made herself comfortable in the kitchen. She prepared the usual toast and omelette for Chaeyoung’s late breakfast and doubled the amount of coffee to have a cup for herself.

Looking around, she had to admit that she missed the comfort of living with her best friend. She had spent the majority of the last few years of her life cohabiting with someone, so living alone was not exactly her comfort zone. She appreciated the privacy of course, but wouldn’t mind having someone around her place.

It was definitely too early to speak about moving in, but Jennie could picture herself living with Lisa in the future. She hoped Lisa wouldn’t mind making a change from her convenient neighbourhood if the time came.

“What are you making?” Chaeyoung half-spoke, half-yawned behind her.

Her friend wore an oversized shirt and cotton shorts, clearly with no intention of leaving the house on a Saturday. Jennie also heard her have a conversation with Jisoo on the phone, thinking it sounded positive.

Except for when she listened to Chaeyoung ask, ‘okay but would you save me if I was a worm and a bird tried to eat me?’

Jisoo should be used to it by now.

“The usual,” Jennie replied, serving the food on a plate and placing it on the table. “Can’t let you go around with a headache and an empty stomach.”

“Fuck it, just move back,” Chaeyoung said dramatically, more than happy to accept the food and hot coffee. “We’re better as a duo.”

“Honestly, it was better when I had you around,” Jennie sighed.

While catching up on the few weeks they had lived apart, Jennie admitted that she was still adjusting to the emptiness of her new apartment. She had realised that the place was rather big for someone that lived alone. Adapting to the change was going to take a while.

“Speaking of change,” Chaeyoung started as she put the dirty dishes in the sink, “aren’t you kind of glowing right now?”

Jennie tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, a bashful smile appearing on her lips.

“Hmm. You think?”

“Oh my god.” Chaeyoung pointed an accusatory finger at her. “You totally got laid.”

“Perhaps I did,” Jennie admitted shyly, not seeing the point in hiding the obvious from her best friend.

Chaeyoung squealed and hugged her side affectionately.

Jennie brought her hands to her cheeks in an attempt to stop them from heating up. She didn’t have to share any details for Chaeyoung to know. The smile tugging at her lips, the cheerful tone of her voice, the unmistakable spark in her eyes—they all made it very clear.

“God, I’ve got it so bad. She makes me so happy, Rosie.”

“Well, shit. It was about time. I’m surprised it took you so long after you turned down Sooyoung.”

“It’s not just about sex. I genuinely feel like I found my match. Lisa is my person.”

Words said so easily that carried a weight so heavy.

“Aww, look at you getting all mushy,” Chaeyoung patted her butt lovingly. “Happens to the best of us.”

“You’re always mushy, though.”

“Yeah, but Jisoo wasn’t before she met me. I make her sappy.”

“Aren’t you humble,” Jennie laughed.

“But on a serious note, I’m glad you’re happy, Jennie. And it’s only the beginning! It can only get better from here.”

Oh, how could she have been so wrong?

----

Looking through the first month they were together, Jennie couldn’t pinpoint when everything started to go downhill.

But if you asked her to name the first time that she actually noticed a change, she’d say it was on Christmas. It was ironic, really, considering it was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.

Seoul had been completely covered in snow. It was always dreamy when it happened; Jennie loved to watch the snow fall and turn everything white. Slippery ground aside, Jennie thought that the weather added to the Christmas season greatly.

Having taken two weeks off work, Jennie had the time to complete her shopping for everyone’s gifts. She got Chaeyoung a new guitar as a special thank you for giving her a place to stay, gifted Ella tickets to her favourite K-pop group in advance after almost breaking down in front of her computer trying to purchase them, and even sent Jisoo a box of Diet Coke to make up for that one time she missed out on it.

But more than anything, Jennie was looking forward to having a whole day with Lisa.

Seeing her started to feel like a need. Without work to keep her mind occupied, Jennie could only focus on how much she missed her. She wasn’t sure where to draw the line before she became too clingy. Since they got together, she had tried to stay away from Lisa’s workplace, thinking that it would be too excessive now that they started dating.

When she asked her to spend Christmas together, Lisa had been hesitant, saying that she never did much during the holidays. Jennie insisted that she’d take care of everything, and that spending time together was all that she wished for.

Given that Lisa wasn’t big on celebrating, Jennie kept the decorating minimal. Her apartment had a little festive makeover, but nothing too pompous. Instead, she focused on ensuring that the food was spectacular. Chaeyoung had told her that the real way to a girl’s heart was through her stomach.

But when her doorbell rang, Jennie dropped everything and ran to the door, opening it even when she knew Lisa still had to come up the lift. She observed the numbers above the lift doors increment, patiently waiting for it to reach her floor.

The smile on her face couldn’t be brighter.

“I told you to come with empty hands!” Jennie whined slightly. She didn’t get the time to elaborate before Lisa’s lips were on hers.

A series of compliments and ‘I missed you’s followed. Lisa was happy to see her too. She only stepped away to get rid of her jacket and place the paper bag she brought with her on the sofa, and then spent the next hour with her arms wrapped around Jennie’s waist as she finished preparing their dinner.

Lisa’s head rested comfortably on her shoulder, the tip of her nose touching Jennie’s neck as she closed her eyes and listened to everything Jennie said. Jennie thought she was being affectionate. Sometimes Lisa hummed to let her know she was listening, and her hand rubbed against her tummy soothingly every now and then.

If only Jennie stopped and looked at her closely, she could have seen the early signs of something being wrong.

Instead, they happily had dinner, with Lisa praising Jennie’s food and Jennie refilling their empty glasses with the wine Lisa brought over.

It wasn’t until they exchanged presents that Jennie noticed something was off.

Lisa had been first, handing Jennie a neatly packaged maroon scarf.

“Since you never took back yours,” she said timidly.

“You never offered to give it back,” Jennie pointed out, wrapping the elegant scarf around her neck. She was definitely going to wear it all the time.

When it was Jennie’s turn, she couldn’t hold back her excitement. Lisa had accepted the first camera she got her a while ago, so she thought it would be the perfect time to deliver the second one as well. Instead of just giving the device on its own, Jennie had also picked up a couple of memory cards, additional lenses, a stylish strap, and a fancy camera bag to carry it all. It was the perfect package. She would have added a tripod too, but didn’t want to go overboard.

Lisa was shocked, to say the least. She didn’t say anything for a while, inspecting each and every item in Jennie’s perfectly wrapped gift box. Her eyes didn’t seem particularly excited, and that was when Jennie started to worry.

“You don’t like it?” she asked with a defeated tone. “I can exchange it for something else.”

“It’s not that, Jennie. This is a wonderful gift, I just… I don’t know how to repay you for everything.”

“Repay me? It’s a gift,” Jennie explained.

“And you must have spent so much on this, and the other one as well,” Lisa shook her head, “and I just can’t give you anything of the sort in return. I’m sorry.”

“But I don’t expect anything in return, and I never will.” Jennie leaned forward to kiss her frown away, hoping to ease Lisa’s worries somehow. “Maybe a kiss or two.”

At the time, Jennie didn’t think too much of it. She just assumed Lisa felt awkward about accepting gifts since she said she wasn’t used to it. After spending the evening together, Jennie was convinced that it wasn’t a big deal, that Lisa was just having a weird day.

Clearly, she should have been more attentive.

----

When the holidays were over and Jennie had to return to work, she had expected to have a great start of the year. Her only concern should have been facing Taeyang, but somehow, Lisa ended up being on the list too.

Jennie wondered how they got to that point after only a little over a month in a relationship.

Lisa had an irregular schedule. Jennie was always aware of that. But for some reason, seeing each other started to become impossible. It was baffling to Jennie. They used to be able to work around Lisa’s shifts and always make time to meet, even as friends. Now that they were together, Jennie thought they’d do it more often. Not the opposite.

Jennie worked for most of the day, and when she got to leave, Lisa had hours until her shift finished. At first, Jennie thought the logical solution was to visit Lisa in the evening like she used to. She didn’t want to feel like she was invading her life by doing it, but Lisa insisted that she’d never complain about seeing her pretty face.

It would have been perfect if Lisa didn’t look extremely tired when Jennie saw her.

And it wasn’t just a one-day thing. Every evening Jennie visited, Lisa looked like she was barely staying on her feet.

When Jennie worriedly asked about her condition, Lisa would excuse it as a consequence of her bad sleeping schedule. It didn’t make Jennie feel any less concerned. After the first night, Jennie had decided to show up with a warm dinner to make sure Lisa ate properly at the very least.

It was hard to tell what caused issues in Lisa’s sleeping pattern. When she had days off and actually came over to her place, Jennie held her close as they fell asleep on the same bed. And on those nights, Lisa pretty much slept like a baby.

“It’s always easy when you’re next to me,” Lisa had explained.

Jennie suggested changing her mattress at home. That surely would improve her situation.

Except nothing changed.

If anything, Lisa was getting worse.

It wasn’t just tiredness. Jennie slowly started to notice that she got irritable too.

The observation only became clearer when they went on a shopping trip and some guy bumped into Jennie’s shoulder trying to go past them, calling her a bitch as he walked away. Normally, Jennie would ignore it and walk away, or if it was possible, she’d report it and let whoever was in charge escalate the situation. Lisa never hid her glares, but she also wasn’t keen on making a scene out of it, always prioritising Jennie. Some people were just inexplicably rude.

But that time, Lisa was pissed. As Jennie continued to walk, Lisa turned back with a furious expression, yelling an outraged “what did you just say?”

Jennie was stunned. She had to drag Lisa by her arm to get them away before things got too serious.

When they got home and Jennie asked her “what the hell was that?”, Lisa got defensive, saying all she wanted to do was defend her girlfriend. Jennie responded that defending her girlfriend was pointless if she was putting herself in danger in the process.

After a whole evening of snappy responses and uncomfortable moments of silence, Jennie came to terms with the fact that they had their first argument as a couple.

And she utterly hated it.

They argued when Lisa tried to leave and go home instead of spending the night. They argued when Jennie said she’d take the guest bedroom so that Lisa could sleep peacefully. They argued when Lisa picked her up and carried her all the way to the master bedroom because she was being unreasonably difficult.

And at some point during the night, while they lay on the same bed with their backs to each other, Jennie concluded that all they really did was prevent anyone from leaving. When she heard shuffling behind her and an arm sneaking around her waist, Jennie figured that Lisa realised it too.

“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot,” Lisa whispered, kissing her shoulder and neck softly.

Jennie turned around in Lisa’s arms, now enjoying the feel of Lisa’s lips over her face. Instead of getting carried away, Jennie held Lisa’s jaw, halting her movements.

If it hadn’t been so dark, Jennie would have loved to see her eyes clearly when she asked, “is something wrong?”

Lisa denied it of course. She always did.

“Is it me?” she then asked. “Am I being a bad girlfriend?”

The changes in Lisa’s behaviour only started when they got together. Jennie couldn’t think of any other explanation.

Lisa frowned deeply at the insinuation. With newfound urgency, she guided Jennie onto her back, holding the sides of her head as her lips found Jennie’s again and again, desperate to erase the tension created.

“Never ever say that,” Lisa murmured between kisses.

“Whatever it is, I can fix it,” Jennie insisted again, “but you need to tell me what it is that’s been bothering you.”

“You’re so good to me, Jennie. The best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t need anything else.”

Words turned into touches, apologies turned into promises for better, and just for that night, Jennie let herself believe it.

----

Lisa convinced her that it was all going well. She made sure to reiterate multiple times that Jennie made her happy. Her confidence was so reassuring that every little concern Jennie had begun to slowly dissipate.

That was why she felt so, so dumb when she received a sudden call from Kim Jisoo.

“It’s about Lisa.”

Those words were enough to make her heart drop.

“Is she okay? Did something happen?”

“Can we speak about this in person?”

Jennie should have seen it coming, really. Less than an hour after the call, she found herself anxiously sitting in a hospital’s cafeteria. Jisoo told her that she only had a short break to meet, and that the most convenient location would be the hospital if they wanted to avoid wasting time. Jennie didn’t have to be told twice before she made her way there.

In the ten or so minutes she spent waiting, Jennie’s mind continued to come up with different hypotheses on what Jisoo wanted to tell her. The fact that it was Lisa’s best friend contacting her directly was enough to put her on edge. Her only hope was that she’d finally get the answer she had been looking for.

After Jisoo and Chaeyoung had gotten back together, things went smoothly enough for Jennie to get along decently with Jisoo. They weren’t super close, but they weren’t strangers either.

That was why Jennie managed to form a small smile when the older girl walked into the cafeteria, her white coat and scrubs not as neat after the long hours on shift. Jisoo returned her greeting politely.

Small talk was not needed in that moment. Jennie just wanted to know what was going on with her girlfriend. Or better, what had been going on for a while.

“Have you noticed anything unusual about Lisa lately?”

Jennie could only freeze at the question. Her immediate instinct was to say yes loud and clear, to let Jisoo know about everything that had been running through her mind the past month. But if she took the last week into consideration, Lisa had visibly tried to be better.

“Not in the recent days,” she said honestly. After all, Lisa’s sudden cheerful mood was what made Jennie think they were past that phase.

Maybe that was also part of the problem.

“Are you sure?” Jisoo asked sceptically.

“There was definitely something wrong before,” Jennie admitted, “but one day we argued and now she’s almost back to normal.”

“Almost,” Jisoo repeated dryly.

“You have something to tell me, right? You know why she’s been acting weird.”

Jisoo almost looked guilty, her eyes fixed on the cup of black coffee Jennie got her. The pause was so long that Jennie was startled when she finally answered.

“Lisa started working two jobs.”

Jennie’s lips parted in shock, but she couldn’t find any words to say. It didn’t make sense. Lisa’s schedule at the fast-food place changed every week, and it was always crazily tight. It was one of the reasons that stopped them from seeing each other often. There was no way she’d willingly take on more shifts.

“How? I would have noticed.”

“Yeah? Can you recall ever seeing her in the morning in the past weeks? Even on what she claims are her days off?”

“She said she always sleeps in after her evening shifts. I went to see her a few times. She didn’t lie about those.”

“Yes. That’s not a lie. She works until late night at the fast food place, and then takes a shift at this restaurant or… bar of sorts in the early hours of the morning,” Jisoo explained. “I doubt she gets more than four or five hours of sleep.”

It explained everything. The tiredness, the sudden irritability, the fact that she always hesitated when Jennie asked her to come over or spend the night.

“How long has she been doing it?”

Jisoo shrugged. “I can’t say exactly. I only found out recently.”

“She told you?” Jennie asked hesitantly.

If Lisa confided in Jisoo and not her, it would truly hurt. Especially when Jennie had asked her explicitly. Thankfully, Jisoo seemed to notice the worry written all over her face. She shook her head.

“No. I spoke to her manager a few days ago. She mentioned that Lisa had exclusively been taking evening shifts to balance another employment. It was a surprise to me too. And I hope you agree that it’s complete madness.”

Jennie nodded.

She should have known. She should have pressed harder when she asked. She should have made sure Lisa was okay when she clearly wasn’t.

“I confronted her about it later that evening and told her she was insane for overworking herself like this. She didn’t want to hear it,” Jisoo continued. She crossed her arms and leaned forward until Jennie looked her in the eyes. “I’m hoping she’ll listen to you, though. She’s crazy about you, you know that?”

Jennie let out a frustrated sigh. Lisa would definitely not listen to her either. Not when she had been putting on an act in front of her to make it seem like she was doing great.

And still, she couldn’t understand why Lisa would ever do that to herself.

“Why would she need two jobs? Does she have financial issues?”

Jisoo had the decency to look apologetic when she answered.

“Yes. That issue is you.”

 ----

Chapter Text

It could have been worse, Jennie thought to herself as she walked along an unfamiliar street following the directions on her phone.

She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but finding out that the restaurant Lisa had been secretly working at was hardly ten minutes away from her house was not that surprising. Even when she had to pick a second job, Lisa made sure it was conveniently placed in her life.

She could have been cheating on me. That would have been worse.

Somehow, the various excuses Jennie managed to come up with in the brief walk to the place didn’t make her feel any less angry.

Jennie didn’t want to be angry. She wanted to be someone Lisa could trust, someone she could rely on. Jennie wanted to be the one offering help this time, in the same way Lisa had helped her when she was feeling lost.

But after she heard Jisoo’s version of the story, Jennie couldn’t help the quiet sense of betrayal that settled over her. It was a feeling she never had to associate with Lisa before, yet there it was, mixed with everything else. And even then, her worry for Lisa still outweighed any other feeling.

The restaurant didn’t have a bell like Chaeyoung’s café. The door was painted white, with an ‘OPEN’ sign at the front. If she had been there for any other reason, Jennie would have at least tried to smile at the waiter welcoming her in.

Looking around, Jennie could definitely tell that some of the customers didn’t just walk in at six in the morning like she had. The man that fell asleep on the table she walked past definitely had a heavy drinking night, if the multiple empty bottles of soju around him were anything to go by.

But for the most part, the place seemed to have shifted from its late-night business to their breakfast service. Jisoo had told her that it was mostly a BBQ restaurant during the day, but given that it was one of the few places in the area that stayed open all night, it also turned into a drinking hotspot for those with no plans of going to sleep.

Lisa was one of those people, although for different reasons.

Jennie spotted her behind the cash machine, almost in the same way she first met her months ago. From her slumped posture, she assumed the girl was sitting on a chair behind it. The restaurant seemed to have a simple dress code, not a uniform. Lisa wore a long-sleeved white shirt under the black apron, her hair up in a high ponytail instead of having a cap on her head.

But unlike the bored look she had when Jennie first walked into the fast-food place, Lisa looked extremely exhausted. So much that she didn’t even perceive the presence of a new customer right in front of her. Jennie didn’t know whether she should feel anger or sadness, ending up with a combination of both.

But she couldn’t let it show. Not when she had to ask Lisa about the meaning of it all without breaking down.

“How healthy would you consider your food?”

Lisa’s eyes shot up in an instant at the sound of her voice. She pushed back the chair and stood abruptly, unable to mask the shock in her face.

“Jennie.”

Jennie didn’t want to hear her name. It always sounded better when Lisa said it. Even when her voice sounded so drained.

“What?” Jennie crossed her arms. “Are you not going to ask if I’m a food hygiene inspector this time?”

“I—"

“Could I get the total?” a lady with a child approached, pausing next to her.

Lisa’s eyes darted between Jennie and the customer. Jennie sighed tiredly, but soon stepped away to let the woman pay.

After all, Lisa’s top priority seemed to be making money these days.

“How did you find out?” she asked once they were in proximity again.

Jennie laughed dryly. “Certainly not the way I wish I would have.”

“I didn’t—”

“Could I get extra eggs?” a man shouted from the other side of the restaurant.

Lisa pressed her lips together, getting more and more frustrated at the interruptions.

“Give me a moment!” she said, annoyance seeping through her words.

Then, an older lady came out of the kitchen area with a sceptical look, probably hearing the unusual amount of talking and suspecting that Lisa was slacking. From the way Lisa cursed under her breath, Jennie knew that the woman wasn’t exactly the understanding type of boss. She must have been nothing like easy-going Ryujin.

Not only was Lisa dealing with extra workload, but also unpleasant people to work with. Jennie clenched her jaw subtly before she put on her best smile.

“Good morning. I’m just here for a bottle of water,” she said smoothly, reaching into her purse and taking out a few notes. “And ten minutes to talk to you cashier, if you’d kindly let us.”

While the woman was ready to protest, a quick glance at the amount of cash Jennie placed on the counter was enough to shut her up. She yelled at someone in the back to come and take over the cashier role, letting Lisa go easily.

How ironic. Maybe that was why Lisa worried so much. Some people were bought over so easily.

When they both walked outside through a staff-only door, Jennie found herself in a quiet alleyway. It would have been cute and intimate to sneak out with her girlfriend if it were any other day. A day where Lisa didn’t appear like she was absolutely losing her mind.

It was an unexpected visit, so the least she could do was give Lisa some time to freak out, Jennie thought.

Lisa paced back and forth, while Jennie simply leaned her back against the closed door, waiting in silence.

“How did you find out?” she asked once again.

“Is that the only thing that worries you? That I found out?” Jennie rebutted.

“I didn’t—” Lisa sighed. “I promise I can explain.”

“In ten minutes? I don’t think so.”

“After my shift—”

“You have to go to the fast-food place. Unless you have other secret jobs around the city?”

“Jennie, please…”

“I will let you explain, don’t get me wrong,” Jennie laughed without a trace of amusement, “it’s the bare minimum you owe me. Don’t you think I deserve that?”

Lisa’s eyes softened. “Of course you do. I didn’t want to hide it, but…”

“But you did it anyway,” Jennie finished off.

At the end of the day, that was what hurt the most. The second job wasn’t the main issue—Jennie didn’t really have the right to be mad about Lisa’s personal choices.

But the lack of honesty upset her more than anything.

At least, Lisa looked guilty about it. Jennie hoped that she felt like it as well every time she lied to her about what she did in the mornings.

When Lisa couldn’t find the words to continue, Jennie took it as her cue to leave. Maybe having some time to collect their thoughts would benefit them.

A tight grip on her wrist prevented her from leaving.

“Wait, Jennie, I really am sorry…”

Jennie scoffed. “I should pay you for every single time you’ve said that to me the past month. You’d make as much as this job.”

“I had my reasons,” Lisa insisted.

“And you couldn’t have told me?” Jennie had to leave before she started to tear up, but it was just too frustrating. “You think I was just making small talk when I asked you if anything was wrong? That my mind would be at peace when you lied and said no?”

“I didn’t want you to get worried.”

“Well, guess what, you’ve only made things worse.”

----

Giving themselves some time to think their points through was definitely the best move. Jennie had learnt from the arguments she had throughout her life that discussions would always turn out better if people planned what to say in advance. It ensured that nothing important was left out.

When she messaged Lisa that she’d be seeing her tonight, Jennie wasn’t sure on what she wanted to hear. Mostly, she wanted Lisa to be upfront about the reasoning behind her need for extra income. From what Jisoo told her, Jennie could only assume that dating her was a major influence.

If Jennie tried to look at the bright side like Chaeyoung taught her, the fact that they were going to address the issue so early on in their relationship meant that they’d have time to fix it as well.

Lisa was fidgety when she opened the door. It was already past midnight, and the tiredness from that morning was still visible on her features. Jennie would have gladly suggested talking the day after if Lisa didn’t have to go through the exact same schedule again.

While Jennie wanted to show she was upset by everything, Lisa’s worried eyes and hesitant greeting when Jennie walked in were enough to soften her up.

Whether Lisa was aware of it or not, they had always been quite similar in that sense. Jennie couldn’t be angry at her either. Not for long, at least.

“You said you ate already but I got you strawberries and…” she gestured around the coffee table nervously, “I was going to make you tea, but you said you hate when caffeine keeps you up at night, so I got herbal tea on the way home. I don’t know if you’ll like it as much as the usual brand you take but I hope it’s fine.”

Not only was Lisa rambling, but she also avoided eye contact at all costs.

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to.”

“No, no, I wanted to,” Lisa shook her head, walking around the table to sit on the sofa. She patted the space next to her. “Sit with me. Please.”

Jennie joined her on the sofa, watching the constant shaking of Lisa’s leg as she did so.

“Were you worried I’d leave too soon?” she asked gently, placing her hand on Lisa’s knee to stop the anxious movement.

“I…,” Lisa’s gaze dropped to her knee, moving her hand to rest on top of Jennie’s. She allowed their fingers to intertwine and lifted their joined hands slightly, just enough to let the other slide underneath, effectively preventing Jennie from pulling away. “I still am.”

“You don’t have to be. You should know by now that I prefer talking rather than avoiding issues.”

Lisa nodded understandingly, but the guilt in her eyes never faded. It must have felt awful to deal with this conversation alongside her exhaustion, and Jennie really wished she could have helped. If only Lisa told her how to.

“And I’m sorry for cornering you this morning. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Lisa waved off the apology with a small shake of her head, her gaze still locked on their hands.

Jennie used her index to gently turn Lisa’s chin towards her, until she could finally look into her eyes.

“Talk to me.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“The beginning is always a good starting point, don’t you think?”

“Which beginning?” Lisa said, “there’s too many to count.”

“When did you start a second job?” Jennie questioned. Maybe if she walked Lisa through the thought process behind it, she’d find it easier to explain.

“Not too long ago. About four or five weeks,” Lisa answered hesitantly.

Even if Jennie urged herself to keep it together, the expression of hurt showed on her face before she could do anything to stop it. Jisoo was right, after all.

“After we started dating,” Jennie stated the obvious.

“It’s not you, Jennie,” Lisa was quick to add.

“That’s what they always say, no?” Jennie smiled sadly. “You never felt the need to earn more until we got together. How can it not be about me?”

“It’s not what you think. Having you in my life just made me want to do… better.”

“Better in what? We were doing fine before. When we were just friends.”

No matter how much she tried to wrap her head around it, Jennie couldn’t figure out what made Lisa ever think that she wasn’t good enough. Saying that she did it all for her wasn’t helping either.

“Exactly. But we’re not just friends anymore. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve.”

“And what is it that I deserve, exactly? An exhausted girlfriend that barely makes time to see me? Or a girlfriend that hides things from me?”

“See? I knew you wouldn’t understand if I told you,” Lisa stated. “You think we can just stay the way we were before.”

“I liked how we were. Money was never part of it.”

“It’s easy for you to say.”

“How so?”

“You just show up with expensive gifts and easily win people over.”

“Is this about the cameras?” Jennie furrowed her eyebrows. “I genuinely just wanted you to keep doing what you love. I never meant to use them as a way to show off.”

“And I will never be able to do the same for you. Not with the life I have.”

“I never said I wanted the same from you,” Jennie said in a sharp tone, annoyed that everything circled back to Lisa wanting to return her gift. “Is that how you feel every time I give you something? That you owe me in return?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me!” Jennie pulled Lisa’s hand to her lap now, holding it just like Lisa had been doing with hers. “Make me understand, please.”

“I’m not like you. I can’t pay for a date or a gift without calculating whether I can afford rent or bills after.”

“I never said you had to. I’m more than happy to pay for everything as long as I get to spend time with you.”

“But do you know how that feels for me, huh?” Lisa let go of her hand, standing up and walking as far from Jennie as she could.

“Lisa,” Jennie called softly.

“Having a girlfriend and—and seeing your eyes light up at the sight of something and not being able to go ahead and buy it for you.”

Jennie wanted to interrupt again, afraid that Lisa’s choked-up voice might lead to tears.

Lisa didn’t let her.

“I can’t take you out and tell you to pick anything you want off the menu saying it’s on me. I can’t show up at your door with a fancy bouquet of flowers because seeing the price tag alone gives me a fucking heart attack,” she laughed dryly, “I can’t go with you to these luxury fashion shows like your ex used to because I can’t even afford a plane ticket, let alone wear designer clothes so that you wouldn’t feel embarrassed being seen with me. I can’t do any of that, Jennie. Not a single thing.”

Alongside her dejected smile, the utter pain in Lisa’s teary eyes broke Jennie’s heart in ways she hadn’t felt for a long time.

“Lisa…” she stood up, afraid to approach the other girl without losing composure herself, “you don’t need to do any of that for me. All I ever wanted was to be with you. Nothing else, truly.”

“But I want to, Jennie. I want to give you so much,” Lisa said. “I wake up and see how miserable my life is and how you only deserve better.”

“And look what happened because of it,” Jennie said, gesturing between them. “You’re exhausted. You get irritated by every little thing. We’re not even spending time together because you’re simply too tired to do anything. Is that what I deserve?”

“No. You should be with someone that can give you the world like I only say I could. But I’m selfish and I don’t want you to be with someone else,” Lisa shook her head. “I want you to be with me, Jennie.”

There was a clear issue in the way Lisa viewed their relationship, making her feel like she wasn’t on Jennie’s level. Jennie had never even considered their financial difference as a problem, until Lisa brought it up.

And until they resolved this, they couldn’t move forward.

But from the way Jennie saw it, the main obstacle was painfully obvious. It always had been.

“If that’s how you really feel, then doubling your workload is not the answer. And if you’d let me, I’d like to help.”

“You don’t need to get involved. I’m handling it.”

“Like hell you are.”

“I don’t know how to do anything else, can’t you see?” Lisa rebutted. “I’m not like you or Jisoo. I never made it to the career I wanted. I failed. I’m stuck with working whatever job I can to make up for it.”

“I understand that. But your body has limits like the rest of us. If you had told me about it, I—”

“You would have offered to use your money instead?”

“No. I would have told you to aim higher.”

“What?”

“Settling for anything won’t satisfy you in the long run,” Jennie explained. “I know a couple of people, Lisa. The photography department at my company is not hiring at the moment, but Jackson Wang, someone I work closely with, is willing to take an assistant upon my recommendation.”

“I’m not a fashion photographer.”

“You don’t have to be,” Jennie clarified. “This is just a chance to get your foot in the door.”

“And you’re giving it to me just like that. On a silver platter.”

“You said it’s all you needed. One single chance to prove yourself. I’m giving that to you.”

“No, Jennie. You’re just proving my point. I have nothing to offer. I’ll always be taking whatever you have to give to me.”

“You know that’s not true,” Jennie shook her head. “And honestly? It hurts. Being in a relationship means we care about each other, Lisa. I’m allowed to worry about you. Yet every time I try to help, you make me feel like I’m not being fair, like I’m doing something wrong.”

“Jennie…”

“How do you think I felt when I heard that dating me was a financial burden to you?” Jennie said, her voice breaking. “How could I not feel responsible when I’m part of the problem?”

“That’s not…” Lisa shook her head, “It’s not like that. I’m the one who hasn’t been fair, because I got to be with the girl of my dreams, while you get just Lisa, nothing more.”

“And that’s enough!” Jennie cried out. “For me, that’s enough. Even though clearly, it isn’t for you.”

“I don’t want to be enough. I want to be everything.”

“Who said you aren’t?”

Conflicting emotions flickered across Lisa’s face, as though she didn’t quite believe Jennie’s words, but desperately wished she could.

“I just… I just want what’s best for you, Jennie.”

“And what about you? What does Lalisa Manoban deserve? What is best for you?”

Lisa’s silence was enough of an answer.

“You want to be miserable and keep working two jobs you hate? Fine. But I won’t stand by it.”

“Are you saying we’re done?”

While clear issues had been brought up in their conversation, breaking up was never on the table for Jennie. Being with Lisa made her the happiest she’d ever been in a relationship. And Lisa had never needed to rely on money to achieve that.

Just Lisa, she had said. The same kind and caring Lisa that effortlessly won Jennie’s heart, the one that got to know her and understand her in ways not many could.

Perhaps that was where Jennie got it all wrong. Lisa really didn’t see her.

She didn’t see the way Jennie’s tone immediately brightened the moment Lisa called her. She didn’t perceive the way Jennie’s heart warmed when Lisa could recall all of her tiny preferences—from keeping notes of her favourite drinks, to turning up the volume whenever one of Jennie’s top songs played on the radio, or even wearing a specific jacket more frequently simply because Jennie said it looked good on her.

Those weren’t grand gestures, but they were the ones that mattered the most.

Lisa did it all without ever being asked. She knew when Jennie needed to see her, always reaching her wherever she was and unintentionally fixing anything that felt wrong. She sensed when Jennie was being too hard on herself, reassuring her with the gentlest of words. Even during moments of calm silence, when the world seemed to slow down around them, a simple touch of her hand made Jennie feel like everything was exactly as it was meant to be.

All because of just Lisa.

How had Lisa said those words with such disdain when just Lisa gave Jennie the certainty that she found the right person?

And yet, Jennie had come to the sad realisation that she couldn’t say the same about herself for Lisa.

Lisa watched her with fragile eyes, as though Jennie was one step away from making her entire world fall apart. With a resigned smile, Jennie approached the girl she adored so much, tenderly cupping her jaw to deliver one final kiss to her cheek.

Lisa let out a deep exhale at the soft touch, fingers hesitantly reaching for Jennie’s elbow, but never quite making it.

“I’m saying that you can come back to me once you figure out what really makes you happy. Because clearly, it’s not me.”

----

Romance movies always put together a cute little montage whenever a couple was going through a break. It helped to speed up the time spent apart, highlighting how much they missed each other throughout. Jennie loved to watch them. The parallels between scenes alongside the slow background music always made it extra romantic in her eyes.

Unfortunately, real life was not a cute little montage.

Jennie was stuck feeling every second she spent away from Lisa. There was no way to skip forward to their reunion or take a peek into Lisa’s life and see if she was dealing with their break as badly as Jennie was.

It was simply unbearable.

Lisa didn’t attempt to contact her. Jennie didn’t either.

What had become a comfortable routine for Jennie turned into a reminder of what she was supposed to avoid. She steered clear of her phone during her breaks at work, worried that she might dial Lisa’s number out of habit. She made sure to avoid the way that passed through Lisa’s area, eliminating the chances of them running into each other. She didn’t even want to see her from afar, too afraid that what she would witness might differ from what she was expecting.

What if Lisa was moving on with her life? As if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

The thought alone was unpleasant enough not to risk it.

Chaeyoung took care of her, almost exactly like she did after her breakup with Taeyang. She showed up at her door and planned a girls’ evening to cheer her up. She offered to stay over a couple of days. She went and bought anything Jennie craved for. For the most part, it helped to keep Jennie distracted.

Every time the Lisa topic came up, Chaeyoung would tell her not to worry about it. She insisted that everything will sort itself out with time. After all, they didn’t actually break up.

“Then why does it feel like we did?” was all Jennie could say.

It had not even been a year since her last breakup. If she had known that dating Lisa would have only led to pain, Jennie would’ve never pursued her. She would have preferred keeping their friendship intact.

Perhaps that was what scared Jennie the most. If Lisa decided that she was better off without Jennie, they would never be able to go back to being friends.

Surprisingly, Jisoo also started to become a more present figure in Jennie’s life. Sometimes she’d be at Chaeyoung’s café in the afternoon, other times she’d come along with Chaeyoung to have dinner at Jennie’s place. They got on well.

While Jennie wanted to believe their biggest connection was her best friend, she also couldn’t help but be reminded of Lisa every time she saw Jisoo. She never dared to ask anything about her. And yet, Jisoo could understand what was going through her mind with a simple look.

Jennie wasn’t sure if she was being too optimistic, but it seemed like Jisoo didn’t think Jennie was a negative influence in Lisa’s life. Although she was aware of their break, Jisoo had shown nothing but support. So, when Jennie finally got the courage to ask about Lisa, Jisoo answered honestly.

That was how Jennie found out that Lisa wasn’t around anymore.

Jisoo insisted that it wasn’t a cause of concern, that Lisa simply had to take care of herself for some time. Jennie didn’t dare to question where Lisa went, knowing that the temptation to find her would be too strong.

And so, Jennie was left completely and utterly helpless.

With nothing to be done about her love life, Jennie could only put her entire focus on her career. After all, her job waited for no one. Not even for her heart to fix itself.

The buzzing of the coffee machine invaded her thoughts.

It was the fourth coffee she was making that day. Somehow, it seemed like the only reasonable excuse to avoid going into the studio.

“What are you doing?”

Jennie almost dropped her paper cup. Mina stood behind her with crossed arms, inspecting the drink in Jennie’s hands.

“It’s helping me.”

“Helping you with what? Having a heart attack?”

“That wouldn’t be so bad right now.”

It wasn’t even her fault. Stylist Lee just had to get sick on the day Taeyang was coming in. As if he couldn’t pick another day to get pneumonia. Jennie had not been able to think clearly since she got the news that morning. The absence was too sudden, meaning that they couldn’t get a replacement stylist, and Jennie was left on her own.

“You’re not alone. Jackson will be there.”

“Yeah, at the very end,” Jennie mumbled.

They had a one-hour slot to plan the outfits for the photoshoot, get Taeyang’s measurements for them, and have Jackson take a few preview photos to send to the photographer at Vogue.

“Is he there already?” she asked as she stepped away from the coffee machine.

“He showed up fifteen minutes early.”

As usual, Taeyang was painfully punctual.

The walk to the studio didn’t help ease Jennie’s mind. She could feel her heartbeat picking up in her chest, making her even more aware of her nerves. Mina followed closely behind, her quiet presence being the only solace Jennie had in that moment.

When she pushed the doors open, Jennie didn’t know what she expected. Taeyang stood up abruptly at her entrance, bowing like it was the first time they met.

He had let his hair grow out, Jennie noted. His bangs didn’t fall over his eyes anymore, they were now long enough to be parted in the middle and adorn his face perfectly. Even the hair at the back reached his neck.

It suited him, that post-breakup glow.

“Hello,” he greeted politely.

Jennie’s throat suddenly felt dry. She had not spoken to him since he called her on the phone about his ruined car. They were now in a very different setting, supposedly far away from their personal matters.

Thankfully, Mina was already two steps ahead. She guided Taeyang to where the pieces of the new collection were displayed for him to try on.

Jennie finished her coffee in long gulps. She tossed the empty cup in a nearby bin and took a deep breath before she approached her ex. It was time to show her utmost professional attitude.

Like herself, Taeyang had an eye for fashion. He easily pointed out which clothes would complement his figure the most, facilitating the first stage of their session without a stylist around. Jennie’s first words to him were ones of agreement. And when she faced him properly, she saw the look of gratitude in his eyes.

Perhaps the nerves were mutual. Jennie had waited for any indication of hidden resentment, whether it was for their relationship or the vandalising of his car. It would have made it easier to confront him given that Jennie had the tendency to match the energy she received. If Taeyang had been angry at her, she’d be free to give back the same sentiment.

“Could you step here for me?” she asked him.

Taeyang wordlessly walked towards the space she pointed to. Jennie didn’t look up, opening a drawer and pulling out a measuring tape instead.

The next stage was pretty clear.

Taeyang unbuttoned his blazer and shrugged it off his shoulders. Mina took it from his hands when he looked around awkwardly, unsure of where to place it.

“Do you need me to…?”  he gestured to the rest of his clothes.

It felt surreal to have to tell her ex to undress himself.

“Just the shirt,” Mina answered for her. “And shoes, please.”

Taeyang did as he was told.

Jennie stepped right in front of him, not wanting to prolong this moment any longer. The sooner they’d start, the sooner they’d be done for good.

“Arms out,” she instructed.

She reached around his torso, positioning the tape across his chest.

“You’re stiff as a log,” Jennie whispered, holding the ends of the tape with her fingers. She read the numbers out to Mina, who noted them down.

“I’m trying my best, believe it or not,” Taeyang replied quietly, looking down at her while she repeated the motion on his waist.

When Jennie didn’t respond and moved on to his hips, he spoke again. “How’ve you been, Jennie?”

Jennie stepped around him and held the start of the tape at his neck. She traced her finger along its length down Taeyang’s back, pressing down briefly when she reached his waist and reading out the number to Mina once again.

For a moment, she contemplated being difficult. Why would Taeyang care about how she had been? It wasn’t his business anymore. But truthfully, Jennie didn’t have the strength to argue. It had been months, and clearly, Taeyang was over the pettiness as well.

“Fine,” she finally said over his shoulder. “You?”

“I’m good. It’s just been a while since…”

Jennie kneeled down and held the tape over the length of his leg. When she got back up, she showed him a tight smile. “Since you brutally dumped me out of the blue?”

As Taeyang’s lips parted to reply, Jennie cut him off. “Mina, we have a few minutes before Jackson shows up, correct?”

Mina shot her a confused look, her eyes darting between Jennie and Taeyang, unaware of what had been said in their hushed conversation. “Yes, I believe so.”

“Would you be so kind as to get our visitor an iced Americano? Without sugar or syrup, please.”

Mina agreed to the sudden request, leaving her notepad in the room before departing. Jennie watched the doors close before she reached for Taeyang’s white shirt. She threw it at his expectant arms, telling him to put it back on.

“You weren’t so repulsed by my bare chest before, were you?” Taeyang muttered under his breath, his fingers swiftly buttoning up.

“Just like you never used to think I wasn’t good enough when we were together, no?” Jennie mocked, leaning her back against a table and crossing her arms defensively.

There was no point in beating around the bush. They weren’t friends catching up. The only reason Jennie was willing to talk again was to address the big question mark in her relationship timeline with him.

Taeyang sighed. He brought his hands up to fix his collar, but still kept his eyes on Jennie.

“When I think about it, I regret going about things the way I did. You didn’t deserve that.”

Jennie nodded. “I appreciate you acknowledging it.”

“But I disagree with you saying it was out of the blue.”

“How so? You woke up one day and decided to end our relationship.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Jennie.” He stood with his hands on his hips, as if he already expected her to disagree. “You really didn’t notice?”

“No, I never saw it coming. We were doing pretty good in my eyes.”

“We got used to each other. That’s different.”

Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what usually happens when you’re with someone for years?”

“We stopped caring, Jennie.”

“What?”

“For being together three years, we didn’t even act like a couple anymore,” Taeyang explained calmly. Like he thought it over multiple times.

It was a stark contrast to Jennie’s confused look.

“Care to elaborate?”

Taeyang pulled a nearby chair close and took a seat, reaching for his shoes.

“We barely spent time together,” he began saying as he tied his shoelaces, “and whenever you went away for trips, I didn’t even miss you anymore.”

Jennie wouldn’t say the words stung, but they did provoke a slight discomfort in her stomach. She didn’t try to argue. If she had received the same explanation the day he dumped her, it would have been more difficult to hear.

Once he finished putting on his shoes, he rested his elbows on his thighs and looked back at her. “And when you returned from those trips, you stopped telling me how things went. You didn’t even seem excited about being reunited.”

Jennie frowned. Now the accusations were directed at her.

“Sorry if I was too tired to tell you every little detail of my adventures,” she said sarcastically. “You really broke up with me because of that?”

“It wasn’t just that, damn it,” Taeyang huffed. “You didn’t like my friends. You didn’t like golf or motorsports or any of my hobbies. You didn’t even like the food I ate.”

He looked at her accusingly as he listed each point, daring her to deny any.

Jennie’s lips parted in surprise. She didn’t know Taeyang was aware of it. She thought she did her best to adapt to his life, even when she hated it.

“How did you…?”

“I’m not stupid, Jennie. I could tell that you went along with everything just to keep me happy. But how do you think that made me feel?”

Jennie’s heart dropped for an entirely different reason. Taeyang’s words were so familiar. She heard them from herself very recently. And somehow, the most devastating part was that Lisa’s defence was exactly her own.

“I just wanted you to like me,” Jennie admitted. “I thought that was the type of girl you wanted.”

“And you never thought about asking me? Jennie, I liked you as you were. I fell in love with you because you made me feel like I could touch the sky whenever I was around you.”

“So… what happened then? Where did I go wrong?”

“Why do you think it was something you did?”

“Isn’t that the reason? You were clearly upset with me.”

“I could have still made it work even if I was hurt. But that’s not the reason.”

“Then what is it? Why did you break up with me?”

“Well… I simply didn’t feel like I could touch the sky anymore.”

----

Falling in love was one of the most wonderful things that someone could experience. The joy of finding someone who fit into your life like they were meant to be there was hard to match by any other feeling in the world. There wasn’t anything quite like it.

Jennie had once thought Taeyang was that person. In her mind, being with him for so long was proof that they could’ve handled anything that came their way. She had believed that if they continued to be the way they were, their love could have lasted a lifetime.

But the greatest mistake in her calculations was that love was not measured in proportion to time. Being together for longer did not necessarily mean that love grew stronger. Even worse, it didn’t guarantee that love would remain the same throughout.

Finding out that Taeyang fell out of love with her took some time to process.

When she compared it to her own perspective, Jennie thought that her feelings had just become less intense towards the end. She hadn’t felt the same excitement as when they first started dating, nor did she think about him as often. Perhaps that explained Taeyang’s observations as well.

But the more she thought of it, the more she started to understand.

The difference between her and Taeyang was that Jennie actually got comfortable.

She had not needed to feel love as intensely because she had been content with having someone in the first place. Even when he had not been on her mind when she was away from home, she still had someone to greet when she returned.

Taeyang didn’t share the same view. As soon as he felt the changes in their dynamics, he acted accordingly.

The biggest problem with Jennie was that she would have put up with a relationship that meant nothing for the sake of comfort. And in hindsight, it would have been a terrible mistake, dooming both herself and her partner to an unhappy future.

Going home on that day, Jennie couldn’t help but feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world. How did she tell Lisa that she didn’t need to change herself to be with her, when she had done the same for Taeyang? Jennie even criticised her for not aiming for a better career. What reason would Lisa have to leave her comfort zone when Jennie had to be pushed away before leaving hers?

It was too much in so little time.

In times like this, she missed Lisa the most. The urge to pick up the phone and send off a message, just to ask her to come over like she used to, was growing stronger and stronger. But her main obstacle was the simple yet devastating fact that Lisa wasn’t around.

Jennie wondered if Lisa found happiness by leaving. If, like Taeyang, she had realised that they were destined to fail.

The negativity started to surround her completely. Days turned into weeks, and Jennie couldn’t feel anything. Her emotions started to become numb. She had nothing to look forward to anymore. She had dealt with Taeyang and got the answers she wanted. At last, she finally learnt the reason she got dumped.

But her Lisa wasn’t there for Jennie to share the news. The one that would have told her it was normal to fall out of love. The one that would have reminded her that she hadn’t done anything to deserve it. The one that would have reassured her their relationship was different, that it would never end in the same way.

It wasn’t until she woke up to multiple text messages that Jennie realised how fast time was passing.

Ella
Happy birthday!! Let’s eat together one of these days, my treat xx
07:02

Reading her sister’s message made Jennie rub her eyes, taking a closer look at the date on her phone to verify it was indeed her birthday.

Jennie certainly did not feel like it was her special day. Chaeyoung wasn’t even in the city to celebrate with her like the previous years. She had gone to visit Jisoo’s family, given that it was one of the doctor’s rare weeks off.

Realistically, Jennie had nothing to look forward to.

At work, her mood wasn’t any different. She accepted birthday wishes from a few coworkers throughout the day. Mina even dropped by her office during lunchtime to give her a box of fancy cupcakes, which Jennie made sure to share with her assistant and the others at the studio.

Her smile never reached her eyes.

After a day that felt hollow, Jennie thought she could finally stop pretending to be happy when she walked back to her apartment building, embracing the emptiness in her heart once again. But before she could reach the lift, the concierge stopped her and handed her a delivery box from a bakery.

On her way up to her apartment, Jennie had to bite her lip to stop herself from tearing up as she read Chaeyoung’s heartfelt message. In very neat handwriting, she expressed how grateful she was to have Jennie as her best friend, promising she’ll always be there for the good and the ugly parts of her life.

Maybe it was the timing, but Jennie started to feel more emotional than she expected after reading those words. Chaeyoung must have known she needed to hear them. Even when she wasn’t with her, having her best friend’s support meant the world to Jennie.

And when she opened the box, Jennie couldn’t stop her first, genuine smile. Chaeyoung had got her the red velvet cake they always shared on her birthday, Jennie’s favourite.

When she woke up that morning, Jennie had no plans to celebrate. But somehow, Chaeyoung’s effort in ensuring Jennie felt loved from miles away convinced her to pick up a candle and a lighter from the kitchen.

Jennie thought she was handling it well.

She never gave into the urge to contact Lisa, and she didn’t ask for updates from Jisoo either. She was moving on with her life like she was supposed to, until Lisa came back to her.

Jennie was surrounded by loved ones. She received her sister’s greeting in the morning, had pleasant conversations with her coworkers and a good lunch with her assistant, and even received plenty of care from her best friend.

And yet, as she sat alone in her apartment, lighting up a single candle on top of Chaeyoung’s cake, Jennie felt the loneliest she had ever been.

The one person who she really wanted to celebrate her special day with wasn’t there.

She couldn’t blame Lisa. Jennie never told her the day of her birthday, never predicting that they wouldn’t be together when it came around. It would be ridiculous to expect Lisa to know, or even make an exception to their ongoing break and reach out to her.

Happy birthday to me… she began singing quietly.

It was harder than she thought. What would Lisa’s voice sound like when she sang? If she was there, Jennie was sure she’d be the loudest one in the room.

As her one-woman celebration came to an end, she stared at the little flame in front of her.

When Jennie turned thirteen, her parents prepared quite the party for her birthday. Her mum bought her a really expensive dress for the occasion, but Jennie was sure she did it more for her family’s image than her daughter’s interest. At least, that’s the feeling she got when she was threatened with having her belongings confiscated if she got a single stain on it.

Jennie didn’t remember the dress. She couldn’t even recall what the cake looked like, only that it was ridiculously big. But what was clear in her memories was the moment everyone’s eyes were on her, lights dim, and cameras pointed at her face as she was expected to make a wish.

She could have asked for something silly. It wasn’t meant to be serious. But when the adults kept insisting to wish for anything she wanted, all that a terrified little Jennie could ask for was to stop getting butterflies in her stomach every time Bae Irene from science class smiled at her.

The wish was pointless. She saw Irene on Monday and felt her heart skip a beat hearing her laugh. Jennie never asked for anything ever again.

But when she thought about it now, 13-year-old Jennie’s wish had not been genuine. She asked for something out of fear, not because she truly wanted it. If Jennie had been honest, she would have probably asked for Irene to change seats in class and sit next to her so that she could talk to her every day.

And as ridiculous as it seemed, 27-year-old Jennie felt like she owed it to herself to make up for her wasted last wish.

This birthday in particular had been worse than usual, and Jennie felt like she needed it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to someone that wasn’t there to hear her. “I’ll be selfish. Just for today.”

With her hands pressed together and her eyes closed, Jennie thought of one thing only. One word, to be precise. A single name. The only one she truly wished for every single day.

Lisa.

----

Chapter Text

Radio stations played the same songs throughout the week. It was something that Jennie only discovered after meeting Lisa. Having relied on CDs and streaming apps for as long as she could remember, Jennie had never really experienced being stuck with a limited selection of songs that she had no control over.

The fast food place has a small, black radio hidden behind the counter. Jennie had initially assumed that Lisa played a rather questionable work playlist from her phone, until Lisa had proudly revealed the tiny device the moment Jennie questioned it.

Lisa turned on that radio as soon as her shift started, and switched it off before she left. The station never changed, and the volume was kept comfortably low. No matter how the day went, that was something that remained fairly consistent.

As Jennie lay on her sofa with a pillow over her face, she listened to the grainy sounds coming from that same little device, low static in the background adding to its nostalgic charm.

Knowing that Lisa wouldn’t be there, Jennie had dropped by the fast food place one evening. She had a polite conversation with Ryujin, who gladly handed over the old piece of equipment without any need for persuasion.

Jennie wouldn’t call it stealing. She was merely keeping it safe. Or to be more precise, she was holding that radio hostage for her own benefit. Lisa would have to get it back at some point.

But somewhere along the way in her act of madness, Jennie found herself turning on the device and listening to it herself. “We can miss her together,” she had whispered with a sigh, patting the top of the radio as she walked past it.

There was something incredibly comforting about radio stations sounding exactly the same at any time and place. Wherever Lisa was, she might have been listening to the same songs, complaining about the same crackly static.

“You could at least try to look alive.”

Jennie didn’t lift the pillow from her face. When she heard the front door opening, her heart picked up momentarily with hope, but as soon as she heard footsteps that didn’t match Lisa’s, her world shut down again.

“I’m alive and breathing,” Jennie mumbled in response.

“Chaeyoung sent you a present.”

“Are you going to say the present is you?”

The pillow was forcefully removed and thrown at the other end of the sofa. Jennie glared at an unimpressed Jisoo, but accepted the paper bag that was placed on top of her stomach.

“Chaeyoung sent me six doughnuts?”

“Five.”

“It’s a box of six.”

“I ate one. Delivery fee.”

Jennie hummed noncommittally as she took out the box, leaving the paper bag on the floor. When she opened it, she shot an accusing glare at Jisoo.

“You ate the J?”

Being the ray of sunshine that she was, Chaeyoung had written a letter with chocolate icing on top of each doughnut, spelling out her name. Except, all that was left was ENNIE.

“Of course I ate the J.”

“You could have eaten the I.”

“And you could eat any of the five remaining letters of your name,” Jisoo rolled her eyes.

Grabbing a doughnut marked with a very neat E, Jennie took a generous bite, her spirits lifting with the sweet taste spreading in her mouth.

“The J would have been my first choice,” she made sure to comment.

“Sorry. I’ll ask her to spell out LALISA next time so you won’t get picky.”

Jennie’s glare returned.

“You know I’m just teasing,” Jisoo said as she sat down on the coffee table, her tone softening along with her eyes. “And I’m saying this with all due respect, but you look miserable. Chaeyoung is worried.”

“Chaeyoung is always worried.”

“Very true. But it’s extra serious when she sends her hot doctor girlfriend to see you.”

“She thinks I’m sick?” Jennie questioned with concern.

“Hmm. Kind of,” Jisoo replied seriously, crossing her legs and resting her hands on top of her knee. “The sickness of deep yearning.”

Jennie wished she had the pillow in her hands. Her aim would’ve been impeccable.

“Am I not allowed to miss her? Should I go and get drunk at her door instead?” she said with sarcasm.

“Nice reference,” Jisoo commented unbothered, “but the diagnosis remains. Of course you’re allowed to miss Lisa, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying other parts of your life. Have you done anything exciting lately, besides going to work and coming back home to be all sad and moody?”

“That is not the description of my life right now,” Jennie rebutted with a pout, fully aware that it was exactly how her life was at the moment.

“And how would you describe it then?”

“I’m just… thinking a lot.”

“About Lisa.”

Jennie sighed. “Yeah. Always. Sometimes I wonder if I even did the right thing. I knew it would hurt to be away from her but just… not this much.”

“Well, pain is proportionate to the strength of your feelings,” Jisoo shrugged. “The more you feel, the more it hurts.”

Jennie let out a quiet laugh. By that logic, her feelings for Taeyang must have been below ground level.

“Was that part of your studies?”

Jisoo propped her elbow on her knee, chin resting on her palm as she smiled. “No. It’s from experience.”

“Chaeyoung?”

Jisoo nodded, shifting her gaze to the box of doughnuts. “I was completely lost without her.”

“I remember,” Jennie said thoughtfully. “Jisoo… you and Rosie are doing well, no?”

“I sure hope so.”

“But you went through a pretty rough patch. How… how did you know you could make it? That being together was the best for both of you?”

Jisoo paused briefly, sensing the unspoken reasoning behind Jennie's question.

“You tell me. Why didn't you try to convince Chaeyoung to move on from me?”

“I'd never force her to make that decision unless she wanted it.”

“Exactly. She wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with her. It was as simple as that.”

“But—”

“I know what's on your mind, Jennie. And it's true, sometimes that's not enough. But right now, it's not up to you to fix that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You're not responsible for the issues Lisa has. Those existed before you were in the picture, and they won't disappear just because you are there now.”

“I know, I know I can’t magically make everything right, but…I just want to help. In any way.”

“It’s normal for you to care. But some things need to be worked through individually,” Jisoo explained calmly. “Think about it. Have you ever expected Chaeyoung to resolve the issues I had before we broke up?”

Jennie pressed her lips together.

“That’s what I thought,” Jisoo smirked. “I had to sort out my own shit.”

“And you didn’t need Chaeyoung to do anything at all?”

“Chaeyoung stayed. Even though she had the option to leave, she chose to stay. That was everything I needed from her.”

“So, should I just sit still and not do anything? Is that what you’re saying?”

“What I’m saying is that you need to stop thinking that there’s something for you to fix. Lisa isn’t broken, there are no pieces for you to put together. She’s simply… stuck in a place she never had to leave. But while she’s figuring this out, don’t take away the reason she’s choosing to find a way forward.”

“That being?”

“That you’ll be there to see it happen.”

----

Chaeyoung once told her that the best motto to keep positive in life was that everything will be okay in the end. And if things weren’t going well right now, it was because she had not reached the end yet. Jennie used to think it was a bit silly at first, but it turned out to be the one thought that helped her see the rainbow at the end of the storm.

While her expectations weren’t entirely optimistic, Jennie felt confident that Lisa wouldn’t disappear without settling their relationship first. Whether she wanted to continue being together, stay friends, or decided it was best to go their separate ways, the outcome was still up in the air until they met again. It was pointless to assume everything was over simply because they had not been in contact for weeks.

It wasn’t over. Not yet.

Talking to Jisoo had eased some of her guilt for being unable to do anything. Jisoo’s view on the situation had been pretty clear. Jennie had finally allowed herself to take a step back and simply… wait.

In a way, she was leaving everything in Lisa’s hands. Their future, their relationship, Jennie’s heart—Lisa held the power over each of those.

Waiting was a painfully slow game. Jennie felt like the more time she had on her hands, the more she could spend on analysing every word of their last interaction. But then she’d think about Taeyang, and how everything only started to make sense after they spoke. She shouldn’t have to deal with it alone. Therefore, until Lisa showed any signs of returning, Jennie would continue to wait and do her best to stay afloat.

Somehow, her greatest comfort didn’t come in human form.

Chaeyoung’s way of showing support was sending her best friend endless pastries and baked goods. Jennie appreciated that very much, although the amount of sugar was not exactly beneficial to her diet. Having plenty of left-over cupcakes and cookies, Jennie had wanted to share some with her neighbours, realising that she’d never be able to finish everything on her own. It was supposed to be a short drop-off. She was only meant to knock, offer the sweet treats to whoever opened, and leave.

But when a dishevelled Sana opened the door with her foot, all kinds of clothes folded over her arms, and a phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, Jennie could only stare baffled.

“I can come back later—”

“No!” Sana yelled and held her hand up, the movement making her phone slip off her shoulder and loudly drop on the floor. “Shit.”

Jennie didn’t move a muscle as Sana bent down to pick up the device once again, quickly telling the person on the other end of the line that she was ‘sorting it out’ before hanging up.

The long sigh Sana let out was a clear indication that she had a lot on her plate. Jennie felt bad immediately for showing up at an inconvenient time, the box in her hands feeling heavier.

Like always, Sana recovered her friendly smile and went off to over-explain her situation.

Apparently, Sana had been booked last-minute for a modelling session in Tokyo, leaving her with the task of finding a dog sitter at immediate availability.

The more she spoke, the more stressed she sounded, and Jennie couldn’t think of anything other than mentioning that she was more than happy to help out if she couldn’t find anyone. After all, having dogs around wasn’t new to her.

Sana’s eyes had lit up instantly at the suggestion.

And that was how Jennie got rid of a dozen cupcakes and cookies and instead gained a pair of dogs for the day.

Thankfully, Sana and Tzuyu’s dogs were two little angels. Kaya was terrified of Jennie at first, hiding under tables and running away whenever she approached. But after a couple of hours (and some treats), she was stuck to her side every time Jennie sat down.

Butter had the type of energy that Jennie could only dream of having. She loved to go on walks and run around, and when they were home, she was obsessed with her favourite toys. But neither dog felt like hard work. No, if anything, Jennie’s mood was affected in the best way possible.

Having pets around reminded Jennie of her own family dog growing up. He had sadly passed away shortly after Jennie moved out, but having him around had been the most comforting distraction while she dealt with the mess at home. She just had to grab his lead and leave the house whenever she felt like being around her parents was suffocating.

Distraction—that’s what it was. Jennie’s mind had been occupied the entire day, suppressing what would normally take over. Perhaps that was why Jisoo had questioned if there was anything else taking up her time, knowing it would be the only way she’d let go of her worries.

On a usual evening, Jennie would find herself casually opening the gallery app on her phone, ending up scrolling through the pictures of her and Lisa right before they had that confrontation. The more she looked, the more obvious Lisa’s tiredness became in the photos, and the guilt for being the cause of it sat heavily on her shoulders.

And yet, the hours she spent around the dogs flew by. Jennie felt relaxed for the first time in days, not having that cloud of negativity hovering on her mind.

It was a temporary fix. Jennie knew that very well. However, as long as it worked, even if only for a little while, Jennie would make the most of it.

When Tzuyu showed up at her door in the evening to pick up the dogs, she seemed very apologetic about the last-minute request Sana had made, going as far as offering to pay extra for her time. Jennie had found the offer easy to decline. After all, she had already received the perfect payment in the form of dog therapy.

Jennie gladly spent the next day with the dogs as well, this time not having to work too hard to get in their good graces. She made sure to send Tzuyu update pictures throughout the day, and when the girl came by during the evening, Jennie dragged her inside the apartment to join her for dinner.

It wasn’t as awkward as Jennie had feared.

Tzuyu was exactly as Sana described her: very sweet, a little timid, but without a single bad bone in her body. Even if it was the first time they got to properly speak, Jennie felt the conversation flowing quite easily.

They started by talking about Kaya and Butter’s opposite personalities, moving on to Tzuyu’s job at the veterinary clinic and her few months spent in the fashion world. Eventually, Tzuyu divulged some details about her relationship with Sana.

The more they spoke, the more Jennie doubted whether Tzuyu was aware of her history with Sana. Jennie recognised the glint in Tzuyu’s eyes whenever Sana was mentioned, a contrast to her usual composed demeanor. It was likely the same feeling Jennie experienced whenever she spoke about Lisa.

Would Tzuyu be so at ease if she knew?

Remembering the way Lisa reacted when she first found out about Sana, Jennie felt the least she could do was give Tzuyu the reassurance that there was nothing between them.

Tzuyu’s innocent nature made it impossible to let the doubt linger.

And so, Jennie told her.

She could feel a wave of unsettling nerves building up as she said the words aloud, carefully watching Tzuyu’s reaction and preparing for any sign of jealousy.

“It’s okay. I already knew.”

Jennie couldn’t stop the long sigh of relief that followed. Tzuyu smiled gently, seemingly amused.

“Sorry, I just—my girlfriend…” Jennie paused, not having referred to Lisa as such for a while, “well, she kinda freaked out when she met Sana.”

Apparently, Tzuyu wasn’t concerned in the least. It was refreshing to see, if Jennie was being honest. It was an obvious sign of a healthy relationship. And if Sana’s past was anything to go by, it was a little unexpected.

It was only when she was asked about her girlfriend’s whereabouts that Jennie realised how much she had been dreading talking about it. How was she supposed to explain their situation without making it seem like they were already over?

It was the same story over and over: they were together for a month, found a significant issue between them, and decided to take a break until it was… resolved. If it had been any other relationship, Jennie would have easily assumed there was no turning back.

“So, are you just waiting now?” Tzuyu asked tentatively.

Jennie wanted to laugh at how pitiful she must have sounded. “Yeah. A bit pathetic, I know.”

“I don’t think so,” Tzuyu shook her head. “Time is a very powerful thing. If you give it to someone that needs it, you might get an even better result than what you originally hoped for.”

“I don’t even know what I’m hoping for anymore.”

“Well, what’s your ideal outcome?”

“For her to be happy. I know her job doesn’t do that. And now I’m not sure I do it either.”

“Why don’t you think being with you is what she wants?”

“Because being with me is what made her miserable. She never had those concerns when we were just friends.”

“And will you be okay with being just friends?”

Jennie’s instinct was to say yes. Up until that point, she had always been open to the possibility of keeping their friendship if a relationship wasn’t on the cards. The option didn’t erase Lisa from her life, and somehow, that felt like it’d be enough.

Tzuyu didn’t seem convinced when she heard the answer, though. Not like Chaeyoung, who liked to accept any positive outcome as a reasonable choice. Tzuyu stared at her with a subtle raised eyebrow, continuing to chew her food as Jennie averted her gaze. After the delicate clink of a fork on a plate, Jennie heard her speak.

“And say, if Lisa started seeing someone else while you were friends…” Tzuyu said slowly, watching Jennie’s reaction, “would you still be okay with that?”

The look of dread that crossed Jennie’s face was impossible to hide. Just the thought of having to stand by and watch Lisa date someone else, someone that wasn’t her, made her blood run cold. Until that moment, she had only thought about going back to how they were. She hadn’t accounted for the fact that eventually, they’d both have to move on while still being in each other’s lives if that were the case.

“I’m not saying this to scare you, Jennie,” Tzuyu then added. She smiled fondly. “Sana was just like you.”

“What?”

“When she didn’t want to be in a relationship, she asked to just be friends,” Tzuyu explained. “And then she’d get jealous every time someone tried to get to know me. It’s ironic, isn’t it? You’d think that staying friends would be slightly better than being strangers.”

“But it ends up being torture,” Jennie sighed. “Guess there’s nothing I can do to keep her close.”

“You shouldn’t have to do anything. If she wanted to break up with you, she would have done so when you spoke to her.”

Jennie started playing with her fingers nervously. Everyone seemed to have the same opinion, but no one was considering the other possibility.

“What if being away from me is what makes her want to leave?”

“Is that what is happening to you? Does Lisa being away make you want her any less?”

“No,” Jennie quickly shook her head, “I still feel the same way about her.”

“Then maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt and trust that she does too.”

----

Since settling into her new apartment, Jennie hadn’t had a complaint. Her building was very peaceful, without major drama to keep an ear out for. There was never anything out of the ordinary to interrupt her days.

With that thought in mind, Jennie couldn’t help but jolt up from her sofa when a blaring alarm resonated through her apartment. While her first instinct had been to leave, she spent a few seconds looking around her apartment confused, not being able to detect the cause of the sudden alarm. Grabbing the nearest hoodie to cover herself, she collected her keys and phone to make her way outside. While passing by the kitchen, she once again took a look around the room, seeing that the stove was turned off like usual. Either way, she closed the fire-resistant door… just in case.

Upon opening her front door, Jennie was startled to hear the sound of the alarms almost doubling. She spotted both of her neighbours already in the corridor.

“Yours too?” Sana asked while gesturing above, her words barely audible with the loud beeps and her dogs barking in distress.

“Yeah,” Jennie replied as she exited her apartment, “hope it’s not serious.”

Tzuyu shut the door next to her and bent down to carry Kaya in her arms. Jennie offered a sympathetic smile, knowing that the dogs were probably suffering from the loud noise. The lift was understandably out of service, and so Jennie could only follow her neighbours down the fire exit stairs.

The lower they went, the more residents joined them on the descent. Each floor had the same alarms going off, but luckily there didn’t seem to be a clear state of panic.

Everyone calmly went down the stairs, some faster than others. Jennie definitely wasn’t going to run down twenty-four flights of stairs unless the whole building was burning down.

The fire exit led to the back of the building. The double doors allowed people to leave easily without anyone having to push. The concierge and doorman who Jennie saw on shift earlier that day were guiding people to stand further back, speaking louder than she had ever heard them before. They seemed to be comfortable with the safety procedures, although Jennie hoped it wasn’t from continuous experience. The only words she managed to acknowledge were “do not panic,” and “everything will be sorted soon.”

In the several minutes she spent standing outside in her cotton shorts and Lisa’s hoodie, Jennie didn’t really gather what had actually happened. She heard some voices around saying it had to do with the electrical system, but no one was sure of anything. Jennie was just glad she wasn’t seeing smoke and flames.

Her neighbours discussed the possibility of a gas leak, reminding Jennie of the time Lisa was able to detect one in her own apartment late at night. The firefighters had praised Lisa for spotting it right away, while Jennie had simply stood to the side, playing with the neighbourhood cat. Once they had returned to the comfort of Lisa’s bed, Jennie had casually admitted that she would have probably ignored the weird smell, gone to bed, and died in her sleep if that had happened to her. Understandably, Lisa showed up to test every carbon monoxide detector in Jennie’s home the day after she made that comment.

Needless to say, Jennie wasn’t exactly an expert when it came to identifying building safety risks.

Sana and Tzuyu left after a while as the dogs were getting restless in the crowded area. Jennie watched most of the other residents also walk away as time went by. She couldn’t blame them. It was only a matter of time before the dark grey clouds covering the sky started testing people’s patience.

As she pulled the oversized hoodie tighter around her body, Jennie realised that it must have looked a bit silly on her. But Lisa’s huge hoodies were the most comfortable thing in the world, so Jennie didn’t mind being engulfed by them as long as they did the job.

For a moment, Jennie wondered if Lisa would ask for everything back. If she would show up at Jennie’s door and demand the return of her stolen hoodies. If she’d wander through Jennie’s apartment for one last time, collecting the belongings she left behind, quitely erasing all the traces she spent the past few months scattering over Jennie’s life.

Maybe, at some point, she’d even take back her love letter and rip it to shreds—just like she might do to Jennie’s heart.

What used to be dry cement began to be covered in small wet dots. It was slow at first, sparse, almost imperceptible. Yet it only took a few seconds for the rain to become relentless and incessant.

“Great,” Jennie muttered to herself, pulling the hood over her head.

The bad weather forced most of the remaining residents to leave and find shelter, but Jennie was too stubborn. She wanted to be back home as soon as they cleared the way, and she’d take a few drops of rain over going around alone in her pyjamas.

Jennie’s decision was proving to be more exhausting than what she had predicted. She couldn’t even pull out her phone without the screen turning slippery really fast. The rain started to grow heavier, water seeping through the fabric of her hood and dampening her hair. Jennie sighed at the thought of having to shower again. With the low temperature, she’d be lucky not to wake up with a cold the next morning.

Too distracted by her miserable situation, she almost didn’t notice when the raindrops started to make a different sound. As if they were hitting a flat surface instead of being absorbed by soaked fabric.

Jennie pulled back her hood to look up, startled by the dark umbrella appearing above. Turning around abruptly, she nearly tripped at the unexpected sight.

It felt like a mirage. Or perhaps, a hallucination. The kind that only happens when you wish for something so strongly, so badly that your mind starts to paint it right in front of your own eyes.

“Did you… run?” Jennie said tentatively.

“I was just walking, but,” Lisa paused to catch her breath. She gripped the handle of her umbrella tighter and gestured behind her, “on my way… people were saying there was a fire.”

“So you ran here?”

Lisa nodded, keeping her back straight though she seemed on the verge of collapsing.

Jennie eyed the way Lisa’s arm stretched forward, angling the umbrella to ensure it covered her properly. But noticing Lisa’s shoulders getting drenched in the process, Jennie decided to step closer. Only two, tiny steps, taken purely out of concern. But almost immediately, Lisa’s body tensed at their proximity.

And Jennie’s frown followed shortly after, her arms crossing defensively.

Because Lisa’s simple reaction delivered the answer she had been dreading all along.

“Did someone force you to come?”

“What? No. I wanted to see you.”

“Then can you at least pretend not to hate being close to me?”

“I like being close to you,” Lisa protested, matching Jennie’s frown.

“Well, it doesn’t really look like it.”

“How?”

“Oh please,” Jennie rolled her eyes, “it’s like your body turned into ice as soon as I got close.”

“That’s because I’m nervous,” Lisa argued.

“Yeah? What for?”

“I—”

Their childish bickering was abruptly interrupted by unbearable static noise. Jennie’s head turned to the source of the sound, watching the concierge pressing buttons on a megaphone.

“S-sorry, uhm, the… situation is now, uhm, under control,” he stammered.

The few residents that didn’t leave started moving immediately, but Jennie still caught the last part of the announcement.

The lift is still out of order. Please use the stairs in the meanwhile.

“You got to be fucking kidding me,” she said under her breath, receiving a confused look from Lisa.

Jennie hated that look. It made Lisa seem like a lost puppy. Jennie had always been weak for puppies.

If there was one thing Jennie was sure of, it was that Lisa was going to break up with her. It was obvious. Jennie had been dealing with no contact for weeks, but now that she had Lisa right in front of her, she could almost feel her urge to run away.

And who was Jennie to keep her chained?

She’d have to accept it. But perhaps not immediately.

“Do you want to come up?” Jennie offered.

It was a pathetic way of delaying the inevitable, but Jennie still tried. Surely, going up twenty-four flights of stairs would give her enough time to come to terms with the predictable outcome of their break.

Lisa followed her easily. She must have felt pity.

It was going to be fine. Nothing better than spending the last few minutes of their relationship climbing numerous steps. Jennie would definitely get her cardio for the day too.

Positive thinking, Jennie repeated in her head like a mantra.

But surprising to none, going up the stairs was at least ten times harder than going down.

“Enough!” Jennie let out in a forced breath, yanking down the zip of her hoodie as she collapsed on the flat surface separating them from the next flight of stairs. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Fuck positive thinking.

Jennie’s lungs were close to bursting. Every breath she took was loud and uneven, her chest heaving. Jennie was certain that her face had never been so red. She looked like shit. The worst she had ever looked, probably.

When Lisa reached her and knelt to her level, Jennie almost felt offended. Lisa’s breathing was pretty much the same as when they first started climbing.

“Do you want a drink?” she asked, sliding one strap of her tote bag off her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Jennie breathed. She pulled the claw clip from her bun, letting her hair fall over her flushed face. Then, her eyes landed on the bottle Lisa had pulled out, its vivid green colour awakening distant memories. “How did you get that?”

Lisa innocently glanced at the bottle of green tea, then returned her gaze to meet Jennie’s. “It’s the one you like, no?”

“Yes, but how…” Jennie shook her head, her mind clouded with confusion. “Where did you get it?”

“Well, I couldn’t find the old vending machine that had it so I asked Jisoo to order it online.”

Jennie’s eyes narrowed. “You went to see Jisoo before me?”

Eyes widening with panic, Lisa started to shake her head repeatedly. “No, I… I mean, it was on the way—”

With one last tired sigh, Jennie pushed her hair back. Not only did Lisa get her a goodbye gift, she also ensured that breaking up with her wasn’t even at the top of her priority list when she came back.

“Whatever. We don’t need to reach the top. Let’s just get it over with here. Give it to me.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow. “Give you what?”

“The dumping speech,” Jennie rolled her eyes. “Come on. I got the clues. You literally packed your bags and left the country for this. And I haven’t seen you smile once since you showed up again. I’ve been ready, okay? I can take it.”

For the first time since they met again, Lisa seemed to be truly dumbfounded. “That’s… ridiculous.”

“What?”

“You think I came here to break up with you?”

“Is that not the case?”

“No!” Lisa said with her voice slightly raised. Almost as if the mere thought was outrageous. “Listen… I might not be the smartest person when it comes to relationships, but even I know how dumb that would be. Me? Breaking up with you?”

For a moment, everything stopped. Jennie’s legs were aching like hell, her tank top was stuck to her back with sweat and one of her feet was out of her slippers. But somehow, Jennie had never felt better. It was like in school, when she’d finish a test and spend the rest of her days telling herself her grade was doomed, only to find out she passed with flying colours. It had been so, so hard to pretend she’d be fine when she had been terrified of Lisa leaving her.

“You’re not dumping me?” she asked weakly.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

The tears followed easily. Jennie used the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe them away before she made a fool of herself.

“Sorry, I’ve just been having these thoughts for weeks and…” she let out a half-laugh, half-sob, “I’m just really glad I was wrong.”

“Thoughts of me… leaving you?” Lisa asked, her tone still incredulous.

“Well, can you blame me? You looked like you hated seeing me again while I…” Jennie jutted out her bottom lip. “I just wanted to hug you really badly.”

Leaving the drink aside, Lisa pushed herself forward, wrapping Jennie in a tight embrace that had been long overdue. Jennie could only let out a trembling sigh, holding onto Lisa’s shoulders as she felt Lisa’s lips press gentle kisses to the side of her head. And with such simple gestures, the sense of emptiness that had tormented Jennie for weeks started to slowly dissolve, her heart finally feeling the warmth of sunlight after a long storm.

If only they could pretend that was all they needed to move forward.

“What now?” Jennie mumbled, not daring to pull away from Lisa’s touch.

“Well, I’m worried that if we keep going up, you’ll pass out.”

“I’m not moving.”

Lisa laughed. “That’s okay. We can speak here.”

“And you’re not breaking up with me,” Jennie repeated, just to be sure.

“I’m not,” Lisa said again. She reluctantly pulled away, her hands finding Jennie’s. As their eyes met, Lisa brought Jennie’s knuckles to her lips, kissing them softly before she added, “But you’re not breaking up with me either, right?”

“No.”

“Then we start on the same page.”

“We were always on the same page about our feelings,” Jennie commented. “The problem is that you don’t think that’s enough.”

“I never said that.”

“You thought about it. And that’s enough to make it an issue, but It’s fine. For now. We just can’t let it drag until you start hating everything about me and resent our relationship and find someone else and never want to see me again,” Jennie said all in one breath.

Lisa could only let out a disoriented huh, prompting Jennie to continue.

“While you were away, I had that work meeting with Taeyang. And at some point, we got to speak, and… apparently, he had always been aware of the little changes I made to make him like me more. And then it turns out that, eventually, he…”

“He what?” Lisa prompted.

Jennie hesitated to say it out loud. “He fell out of love with me. All those feelings were just gone.”

Lisa moved to sit beside her, one hand resting on Jennie’s lower back. “Did you ever realise?”

“No, I… I suppose that’s what I get for never really caring about what being in love is really supposed to feel like.” Jennie shook her head. “But that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want the same to happen to us. I don’t want you to deal with issues you have with me silently and then wake up some day realising that you don’t feel the same about me.”

“Jennie, I promise you, I don’t have issues with you.”

“But you do. I know the cameras made you uncomfortable, and you don’t like having me at your house because you think it’s not good enough for me, which is totally wrong, but I won’t push. I get that our lives are very different, but I don’t want to be like Gemma Chan in Crazy Rich Asians and walk on eggshells around you because that’s clearly not going to work and I’m sorry—”

Two fingers pressed against her lips, not letting her continue. Jennie eyed Lisa puzzled.

“Let me explain, okay?” she said. Then she paused, eyes narrowed. “Wait, who are these crazy rich Asians you’re talking about?”

“It’s a movie, I watched it on a plane once,” Jennie mumbled, lips moving against Lisa’s fingers. “We should watch it together someday.”

Lisa was about to reply, but then she pressed her lips together and refrained from pursuing that tangent. “Okay. Anything else you want to tell me before I say my piece?”

Jennie nodded hesitantly, and Lisa moved her fingers away to hold her hand instead. “What is it?”

“I stole your radio.”

“Right.”

“It’s in my living room.”

“Is stealing my property your hobby now?” Lisa laughed quietly. “First it was my heart, then my radio.”

“Well, you can only take back one.”

And Lisa’s eyes softened instantly. “The radio will do.”

Jennie hummed contentedly at the answer, resting her chin on Lisa’s shoulder to meet Lisa’s gaze with the same tenderness. “Okay. I’m ready. Go ahead.”

Lisa seemed momentarily lost in thought, eyes lingering on Jennie’s pleased smile and gentle eyes. Then, she cleared her throat, brushing her thumb over the back of Jennie’s hand before continuing.

“First of all, your gifts did not make me uncomfortable. My worry was that I could never match them. That I’d have nothing to offer in this relationship and that you’d get tired and leave me.”

“But—”

“Uh-uh. Let me finish. You said you wanted me to communicate when anything was wrong, so that’s what I’ll do.”

Jennie nodded.

“My life used to be so monotonous. I used to be comfortable in my routine, not having the confidence for anything else. And the funny thing is that I used to think I was fine with it. Until one day you barged into my world and dragged me to ruin your ex’s car.”

“I didn’t drag you,” Jennie protested weakly.

“Since that day, I finally had something to look forward to. Someone that added joy in everything I did. And that’s when I realised the big difference between being fine and being happy.” Lisa looked her in the eyes fondly, with clear certainty. “You’re the one that makes me happy, Jennie.”

“And it took you weeks to figure it out?” Jennie croaked, although the stupid, teary smile on her lips was hard to hide.

“No, I knew the answer as soon as you mentioned it,” Lisa smiled. “I just had to sort myself out first.”

“By disappearing?”

“By seeing my mum, and being honest about how I hated my life, and that I was about to lose the one person that made me hate it a little less.”

“Did you tell her… everything?”

“Pretty much. But instead of scolding me like I expected, she hugged me and told me to forget about what I couldn’t do, and instead focus on what I know and do well.”

“And what is that?”

Lisa took off the tote bag that still hung on her shoulder. She opened it outside of Jennie’s sight and rummaged through its contents, finally pulling out a simple rectangular box with a golden ribbon.

“Happy belated birthday, Jennie. Sorry I couldn’t be here for it.”

“Who told you when my birthday was?” Jennie questioned with a look of wonder. She didn’t recall ever specifying it to her.

“If you really have to know… I used to circle the sixteenth of January on the calendar before my own birthday. You know, back in the days,” Lisa explained sheepishly.

Jennie laughed and accepted the box gratefully. “You still do that or?”

“No,” Lisa denied. “Well, I did it this year. But because you’re actually my girlfriend.”

“That, I am,” Jennie said, loosening the ribbon. “I missed you a lot that day.”

“I missed you every single day I spent away from you,” Lisa said.

As Jennie opened the box, Lisa watched her carefully, crossing her arms on her knees as she waited.

The first item to greet Jennie was a key attached to a bulky keyring. She picked it up with a raised eyebrow.

“Is this a car key? You’re gifting me a car?”

The dubious, bewildered tone made Lisa laugh.

“No. That’s the key to my new car. Well, not exactly new since I bought it second hand. But that’s the first thing I know how to do well. That is, driving.”

“You have a license?” Jennie exclaimed in shock.

Somehow, the fact that Lisa sat through her tales of driving nightmares while never mentioning that she could drive just fine felt like a little betrayal. In Lisa’s defence, Jennie never asked.

“Always had. I just never invested in a car. But then, from that day I picked you up from work… I was so frustrated at the fact that I couldn’t drive you home. So, I spent my savings from the two jobs I worked that month to pay for a car.”

“So that I never have to drive?”

Lisa smiled. “Not unless you want to. You can be a passenger princess until then.”

Without hesitation, Jennie’s lips found Lisa’s in a soft, fleeting kiss. It wasn’t just the relief of not having to sit behind a wheel any time soon. Jennie could tell, in the quiet and thoughtful way Lisa had included her in the decision of getting a car, that this meant Lisa saw a future with Jennie in it.

“Thank you, Lisa.”

Lisa’s cheeks reddened. It had been some time since they last kissed, after all. Jennie intentionally avoided it during their discussion, afraid she’d mark it as their last.

Rubbing the back of her neck shyly, Lisa motioned to the rest of the contents.

“There’s more.”

Below the key was some sort of scrapbook. It had a really plain cover, held together with a spiral binding.

“Go ahead. Open it,” Lisa encouraged.

Each page had a photograph with a caption and a date underneath. Jennie struggled to read the words at first, but easily concluded they were names of places in Thailand. Streets, cities, villages. Probably matching the location of the photographs.

“Holiday pictures?”

“Wrong.”

The different dates fell under the weeks Lisa wasn’t around. Jennie continued to flip through the pages until she saw a familiar face.

Her own.

“You took these.”

The picture was taken sometime after they got together. Jennie had insisted they should witness the first snow in Seoul together, and Lisa eventually agreed to go out covered in heavy layers. Given how much she complained about the cold, Jennie hadn’t expected Lisa to suddenly ask for pictures. But when Lisa brought out her camera, one that Jennie got her, she didn’t hesitate to strike a pose.

The caption had the name of the street Jennie lived on. The date was, however, not the right one. Lisa wrote Jennie’s birthday instead, the one they didn’t get to spend together. It was also the only page on the scrapbook that had a small note at the bottom.

‘I want to be with you for all the first snows yet to come.’

“They’re for a portfolio,” Lisa explained. “Except your photo. That’s for me.”

“Does this mean… you’re getting back into photography?”

“Well, as I told you, I never did fashion photography. But your friend Jackson told me he didn’t give a shit, and just to show him what I could actually do.”

Jackson fucking Wang.

Jennie was going to give him an earful.

When she first spoke to him about a possible role for Lisa, Jackson had been more than accommodating. But in recent weeks, when Jennie had tried to confirm the offer was still on the table, Jackson had the audacity to tell her someone had reached out to take the position.

It had been devastating news to Jennie, though she was glad to have plenty of connections in the field to create a backup option.

Yet thankfully, it seemed like the person that contacted Jackson was none other than Lisa herself.

Jennie didn’t know what to say. Lisa had listened to her. She had reached out to Jackson on her own. She had been using the cameras Jennie had given her,  taking  photos like she had been wishing for all this time. And then… she came back to her.

“Lisa, I need you to be completely honest with me,” she said tentatively. “Is this really what you want to do? I don’t want you to feel forced to take the position if it’s not.”

“Believe me, I’ve thought about this a lot. This is my choice,” Lisa smiled reassuringly. “Not because I feel forced to, but because I finally have enough confidence to do it. Putting this portfolio together made me feel inspired like I haven’t been in a long time. I’m gonna give it my best shot. For real, this time.”

“You mean it? You’re leaving your job?”

“I resigned as soon as I came back.”

“And you’re one hundred percent sure of it?”

“Not quite. More like ninety for now,” Lisa said humorously, receiving a playful push to her shoulder. “There’s only one thing that I am one thousand percent sure of, Jennie.”

Lisa’s smile was radiant, though slightly nervous. She reached over to remove the scrapbook and gift box from Jennie’s lap, freeing her hands to hold them instead.

“What is it?”

Jennie was given no time to react before Lisa leaned in and kissed her. Slowly, tenderly, and as unexpectedly as the first time.

“That I’m completely and irrevocably in love with you,” she whispered against her lips.

Jennie’s heart skipped a beat, her cheeks warming instantly as if she were a teenager again. Was it because it had been so long since anyone had said those words to her? Or was it the fact that, when Lisa said them, Jennie wholeheartedly believed them?

And suddenly, she was eighteen again, standing in a high school bathroom, receiving a love confession from someone whose world was never meant to align with hers. But by some strange twist of fate, she got to change the ending. Instead of running away, instead of letting fear dictate her heart, she had the chance to let this moment grow into something far greater, much more beautiful.

Something that was completely and irrevocably hers.

----

Chapter Text

Jennie tapped her fingers on the clean surface of the kitchen island, slowly, with a gentle rhythm. Her gaze remained fixed on the printed images neatly lined up in front of her, conflicting emotions flickering in her eyes.

The ticking of the wall clock soon wasn’t the only sound filling the room, joined by Lisa’s careful footsteps as she walked through the living room. Jennie had been expecting her, no longer bothering to stay alert for the doorbell since the day she had given Lisa the code to access the place.

Lisa’s eyes were bright, her smile radiant as she appeared by the kitchen doorway.

Until she met Jennie’s firm stare.

Lisa’s lips formed a straight line then, eyebrows raising questioningly.

“Everything okay?”

Jennie didn’t say anything at first. She pulled away from her initial position, sitting up with her back straight. “Is there anything that shouldn’t be okay?”

“Uh, I’m not sure. It kinda feels like it.”

“Oh, good,” Jennie smiled, standing on her feet with her arms crossed. “There won’t be any surprises then.”

Lisa gulped.

“Well… what is it?” she asked cautiously.

“Remember a few weeks ago, when I told you about Ella’s crazy plans?”

Lisa nodded.

“You know, her newfound dream of breaking into the acting world straight out of high school and all,” Jennie explained, her disdain for Ella’s ambitions evident in her tone. She slowly began to step around the kitchen island.

“Ah, yes,” Lisa said with a nervous smile. “I remember.”

Ella was a mini-Jennie through and through. Jennie had always known that. Given the pressure her parents had put on Ella’s future, it was only a matter of time before Ella decided to stray away from their clutches and find her own way. And it was also expected for her to want Jennie’s support, going by the fact that Ella was sort of following in her footsteps.

But when her precious sister confessed her plans to ditch university to pursue an acting career, Jennie had tried her very best to dissuade her from going down that route.

It shouldn’t have been shocking. Ella hated school and loved being the centre of attention. Spending her next few years stuck in academics was never going to be her preferred choice. But going into a field where nothing was certain, without even a safety net, was not something Jennie could ever approve of.

“Then you also remember how I was very much against the idea of her diving headfirst into the entertainment world.”

Jennie had argued a lot with Ella over her impulsive plans. Lisa had been there to hear her frustration.

“Hmm,” Lisa nodded, slowly walking backwards as Jennie made steps forward.

“Well, wouldn’t you guess? Ella is in Japan for an audition!” Jennie laughed dryly.

“Oh? That’s great.”

“Yeah, great,” Jennie continued, eyes momentarily going back to the folder of photos. “It’s so great that she found someone so willing to help her take high-quality headshots for her applications.”

“Yep.”

“Incredibly professional work. Ella doesn’t have those kinds of contacts in showbiz, so I was surprised she could get hold of someone so quickly.”

“Right? Must’ve had an ace up her sleeve.”

“Why are you running away?”

“I’m not running away,” Lisa laughed nervously.

“You’re walking away.”

“I’m not!” Lisa insisted, ensuring to mirror all of Jennie’s movements.

“Stop moving then.”

“Well, stop chasing me!”

“I’m not chasing you!”

Even before she finished her sentence, Jennie’s feet moved of their own accord, rushing to catch her panicking girlfriend. Lisa’s eyes widened comically, running in circles around the island, changing direction whenever Jennie did.

“We can do this diplomatically!”

“Diplomatically?” Jennie shouted, her steps never a match to Lisa’s long strides. “There’s nothing diplomatic about siding with my delusional sister!”

“Not THAT delusional!”

Jennie finally stood still, pressing her palms on the countertop as she stared directly across. “Lisa.”

“Yes, my love?”

“How did she convince you?”

Lisa rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, I wouldn’t say convince is the right word.”

“Then?”

“She sent me a sort of… threatening email?” she said unsure.

Jennie sighed. “Saying what?”

“Saying that she’d stop talking to you if I didn’t agree, and that it would make you sad, and that technically it would be my fault for turning her down, and that I’d be a bad girlfriend for making you sad,” Lisa listed under pressure. “She also claimed it would be in my best interests to stay in her good graces.”

“What does that even mean?”

Lisa shrugged. “Well, she said that on our wedding day—I mean, hypothetical… wedding day—uhm, she would stand up to object. Well, if I didn’t take her photos, that is.”

Jennie rolled her eyes. “Typical, dramatic Ella.”

“Takes after you.”

“Hey!” Jennie complained, although a small smile started pulling at her lips. “You should be used to dealing with that then.”

“I am.”

“Then why did you accept?”

“Well… she was right about you being sad. I know you love your sister very much, and I know it upsets you when she pushes you away. I thought that… maybe a few photos wouldn’t hurt if it helped maintain your relationship with Ella peaceful.”

With a deep breath and warmth spreading in her chest, Jennie propped her elbows on the countertop, resting her jaw on her palms and curling her fingers against her cheeks. “What am I going to do with you?”

“As long as you’re not mad at me, you can do anything really.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Right. Am I good to approach, then?”

Jennie held out a hand, finally smiling. “Come here.”

Lisa didn’t hesitate after that.

Jennie’s fingers found their way around Lisa’s neck, pulling her closer to kiss her tenderly. She felt Lisa’s body relax under her touch, arms wrapping around her waist with familiarity. This was probably what she had been waiting for since she had walked through the door.

“How could my teenage sister blackmail my softie of a girlfriend like this?” she whined, kissing both of Lisa’s cheeks.

“I’m not a softie,” Lisa mumbled. “I just didn’t want Ella to hold a grudge.”

“Oh, she can keep her grudge as I drag her by the ear across Japan,” Jennie said. “She’s not getting away with this.”

“You want her to go to university that badly?”

“It’s not that,” Jennie sighed. “The entertainment industry is not kind, Lisa. I know she’s talented and I know she works hard, but there are kids out there that will get roles for simply being born in the right family. Seeing Ella’s disappointment will break my heart.”

“I don’t think Ella is expecting it to be easy.”

“No, but she’s also playing by the rules. In the time she’s studying scripts and preparing for auditions, someone out there is making a call to the director to get in before she even gets a chance.”

“Are you saying she should start playing dirty?” Lisa said amused.

“I’m saying that maybe having a backup plan won’t hurt!”

Lisa kissed Jennie’s pout away.

“Someone once told me that settling for any career won’t satisfy me in the long run,” Lisa teased. “Something about doing what makes me happy, if I recall correctly.”

“Lisa, I pushed you to be a photographer. Not a K-Pop idol. Your ambitions were not out of reach.”

“Hey, I could have been an idol if I wanted to!” Lisa argued playfully. “But Ella is young. She barely started to figure out what she enjoys doing. Let her try, at least. If it works out, then great. Otherwise, she’ll have the best sister in the world to help her find her next steps.”

Jennie hummed, nodding her head as she leaned closer, arms circling Lisa’s shoulders.

“You must be really scared of Ella objecting to our hypothetical wedding,” Jennie joked. “Fighting her corner using my own words against me.”

“I’m not fighting her corner,” Lisa insisted, though she didn’t deny the former half of Jennie’s statement. “I happen to be in love with you, which makes me hugely biased, if that wasn’t clear.”

“You’re not siding with Ella then?”

“I’ll always side with you,” Lisa kissed her temple. “Even when you’re a little insane.”

Jennie smiled, knowing that Lisa was being completely honest.

“Okay. Fine. You win. I’ll let her be.”

“To prove you’re not a little insane?”

“Do you want me to start chasing you again?”

----

When Lisa made the significant decision of changing her career, moving away from the comfort of all she had even known, Jennie had been delighted. More than anything, she had wanted to see Lisa thrive, wherever her heart led her.

But beneath her excitement hid a trace of fear. It was normal, she assumed, to be worried that things would not work out the way she envisioned. The chances of Lisa hating her new job, resenting Jennie for encouraging the switch, and ultimately leaving her were… slim, but still possible regardless.

Thankfully, the results of that big change were visible almost immediately. Jennie wasn’t sure how to describe it.

Lisa was glowing. Whenever she spoke about her day, there was a new level of excitement in her voice. Jennie would never get tired of hearing Lisa talk about all the little things she was learning from Jackson, even when she had no clue of what any of it meant.

It was incredibly refreshing to see Lisa genuinely enjoying her new role, a stark contrast from how her days used to be described.

Jennie didn’t see her much at work. Although their hours now overlapped, Lisa’s role often required her to travel to various sites for photo sessions, meaning that Jennie had to wait until the end of the day to finally have her to herself.

But there were always exceptions. On days when Lisa was only a couple of floors away, working at the photoshoot set they had available in the main building, Jennie would slip away from her office, eagerly taking the lift to the first floor without anyone questioning her.

Of course, Jennie would never get in the way of Lisa’s work. She’d walk around the set, running her fingers through the various pieces of clothing neatly laid out, greeting familiar faces who probably assumed she was there to help out with outfits.

Sometimes she did. Most of the times, she only waited until she caught Lisa’s eye to abandon the pretence of being there for anyone but her girlfriend.

Lisa was usually good at spotting her. But when she was fully immersed in her work, going through photos on her laptop and analysing every little detail, Jennie simply approached her quietly from behind, leaning in until her chin hovered just above Lisa’s shoulder.

It was always amusing to see her jump, her little bubble bursting.

But the smile that followed… Jennie longed to see it every day.

Lisa always left space at the table she occupied, pulling out the chair next to her for Jennie to sit.

They were strictly professional, Jennie would insist. They wouldn’t get too close, always appearing like nothing more than two coworkers. But if anyone were to observe closely, Lisa’s loving gaze would become painfully obvious.

Unless, of course, they were too dense to take a hint.

“Hey Lisa, are you off soon?”

Jennie’s eyes instantly moved to the new arrival. Makeup professionally done, hair curled, outfit picked meticulously—all clear signs of being one of the models on set.

“In about an hour,” Lisa responded politely.

While Lisa moved to face the girl, Jennie leaned back on her chair, seemingly uninterested.

“It’s been a long day. Want to grab a drink with me?” the girl asked with a suggestive tone, palms pressing on the table as she leaned forward.

Jennie looked away.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to pass, Miyeon,” Lisa said almost automatically, as though she hadn’t really considered the offer in the first place. “I have to pick up my girlfriend from work.”

The corners of Jennie’s mouth twitched just slightly.

“Oh, again? That’s a shame,” Miyeon said, not dropping the flirtatious tone. “I’m sure your girlfriend doesn’t need you to pick her up.”

“She doesn’t, you’re right, but I want to.” Lisa shrugged. “I have a feeling she likes to watch me drive.”

Jennie almost rolled her eyes.

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Miyeon winked as she walked away. Jennie was somewhat impressed the girl hadn’t tripped in those ridiculously high heels.

“Well, aren’t you popular, Ms Manoban?” Jennie said humorously, finally letting a smile show. “Poor Miyeon. She must have been expecting that drink.”

“She’ll survive,” Lisa replied, finding her cursor on the screen. Then, more quietly, she added, “But I won’t if I don’t get to go home straight after this.”

Home.

And Jennie knew she didn’t refer to a place. From the fond look that Lisa sent her way, the intention was meant to be clear.

“Then I’ll let you get back to work,” Jennie said softly, “so you can do just that.”

----

Clocking out had always been Jennie’s favourite part of the day. And in some ways, that hadn’t changed.

But leaving work wasn’t exactly what she looked forward to the most anymore. In the lift, Jennie pressed one of the buttons marked with a minus sign, her daily routine now changed to make room for the underground parking lot.

Lisa always got there first. Jennie found her sitting in the car already, bobbing her head to the radio as she waited. And the second Jennie opened the passenger seat door, Lisa’s eyes immediately lit up, greeting her with the widest grin.

Receiving a welcoming kiss after a long day, followed by a mumbled I missed you against her skin… that was what Jennie cherished the most.

The ride home was never quiet. Jennie wanted to hear every detail of Lisa’s day, whether it was an in-depth description or a brief summary. Lisa patiently sat through Jennie’s retelling of hers, even though it ended up being a rant most of the time.

“I have this online safety training thing tomorrow. I’ll probably have to leave later, so you don’t have to wait for me.”

“Why do you need online safety training?”

“I clicked one of those fake phishing emails from HR,” Jennie grumbled. “I rarely even read their emails, and the one time I do—this is what I get!”

“Jennie, the email ended with Have a day.”

“I just thought they were in a bitchy mood. Sometimes I take away the Kind from my Kind regards when I’m pissed.”

“Maybe you do need that training.”

“It’s not like I gave them my bank details,” Jennie argued defensively. “I just… clicked a link.”

“Uh-huh,” Lisa hummed. “That’s exactly what you shouldn’t be doing.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m still picking you up though. Maybe I’ll grab you some dinner before you finish.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to get a drink with Miyeon instead?” Jennie added with sarcasm.

“Hmm, so it did bother you,” Lisa smiled slightly. “You hide your jealousy much better than I do.”

“And yet you still noticed,” Jennie commented.

“I notice everything about you.”

And Jennie knew that to be true. There wasn’t much she could hide from Lisa. Being with her was… easy. It wasn’t something controlled, something that Jennie had to dictate. Everything happened effortlessly, in a way that was almost scary.

They didn’t move in together.

Lisa would drive up to Jennie’s area first, dropping her off right in front of the building and ensuring to watch her go through the main doors before she left.

But then… Jennie started asking her to stay for a bit. Occasionally at the start, until it gradually became a regular request.

Initially, Lisa would leave after dinner. Then Jennie would insist on having some evening cuddles, and she’d stay a couple more hours. And sometimes they just went from cuddling to making out, ending up in Jennie’s bedroom for more than a couple of hours, and at that point it didn’t make sense for Lisa to leave.

In her last relationship, Jennie had waited a full year before officially moving in with Taeyang. Before that, she’d spent a few nights at his place, but nowhere near as often as Lisa stayed at hers. It made Jennie wonder if she was crossing a line by wanting Lisa to be around so much. Or if by someone else’s standards, she was growing too attached.

But when Jennie asked Chaeyoung if their relationship seemed like it was moving too fast, her friend advised to just focus on whether it felt like the right pace. She insisted that only she and Lisa could be the judge of that.

It only made it more difficult for Jennie to figure it out. Truthfully, she wouldn’t bat an eye if Lisa packed her things and permanently moved in.

Taking her own advice, the only way to get rid of her doubts was to tell Lisa about her worries.

“A lease is just our names on a piece of paper,” Lisa said to her. As opposed to Jennie, Lisa was very laidback when discussing the topic of how often she was staying over. “If it bothers you, I can stay more at my place. If it doesn’t, I’ll hang around longer. We don’t have to work out the finer details right now. It doesn’t have to mean anything more than what you want it to, Jennie.”

And just like that, everything fell back into place. Lisa had been doing it since the moment they met. Jennie would freak out about something in particular, and Lisa would make her feel like her life wasn’t falling apart over it. It scared her sometimes. How could someone suit her so much? Lisa was simply everything she could have ever wished for.

Considering that, Jennie shouldn’t have been hesitating to speak about her biggest insecurity after they got back together. The persistent gnawing thought that made her anxious more than anything else.

Jennie had lost count of how many times Lisa had said I love you. She did it at any time, without warning, whenever she felt like saying it. And no matter how many times Jennie heard it, she knew she could never get enough.

Other than being the most understanding person in the world, Lisa was also extremely patient. Even though Jennie was yet to say those three little words, Lisa never made her feel pressured to say it back. She also never sent her texts saying it, likely because she didn’t want Jennie to feel awkward coming up with a reply.

Lisa probably didn’t know, but Jennie never felt uncomfortable. Hearing Lisa say I love you meant the world to her. Perhaps that was why her doubts only ever faded when she was around Lisa, because she ensured to make Jennie feel loved in any way she could.

Something must have been lost in translation, though.

Suddenly, Lisa stopped saying it.

Jennie wanted to ask. But although she noticed it instantly, the change wasn’t abrupt or obvious enough to address it.

Lisa still treated Jennie the same way, and maybe that was the most annoying part. The hugs, the kisses, and the sex were still very much present in their relationship, yet the only missing part was the casual I love you dropped in-between.

Jennie tried not to let it hurt. When Lisa had to leave her apartment, Jennie pretended it was fine just to receive a kiss and a goodbye. Or when Lisa ended a call with “see you soon” instead of her usual loving words, Jennie told herself it didn’t matter. Even when Jennie surprised her with her favourite dish for dinner, she accepted the grateful thank you instead of the words she got so used to hearing.

Not so soon, Jennie thought in panic. Not when it just started.

Maybe Lisa worked too much now and didn’t have time to unwind. Maybe Jennie wasn’t showing her enough care and attention, and Lisa didn’t feel a reason to say it anymore.

Or perhaps Lisa believed she said it enough times on her own.

The more Jennie pondered the change, the more she felt like the problem. She wasn’t sure if asking Lisa directly would have made her feel better, too afraid of the answer she’d receive.

So, with no power over the chaos in her head, Jennie prioritised the one thing she could control. The moments when they were together, the instances where she could focus entirely on how she made Lisa feel rather than the likelihood of those feelings changing when she wasn’t there. Jennie wouldn’t let anything take that from her.

Being a new hire, Lisa wasn’t exactly in a position to be a lead photographer. However, Jackson still valued her skills and trusted her with the editing stage of his work. The greatest advantage was that Lisa didn’t have to be stuck in the office, having the freedom to spend a few hours at home making any corrections.

Jennie wasn’t surprised anymore when she returned from her nighttime routine and found Lisa with her laptop on her legs, back resting against the headboard and eyes fixed on whatever editing software she had open. For some reason, seeing her so focused on getting every detail right was incredibly attractive. Lisa had that look of determination that inevitably sparked something inside her, so bright and loud that Jennie couldn’t contain it.

“You look hot,” she mentioned casually.

Lisa’s lips curved up hearing her. “Thank you. So do you.”

“You’re not even looking at me,” Jennie said, climbing onto her side of the bed and kissing Lisa’s shoulder. “How much do you have left?”

As Lisa closed her browser and editing programs, a detail caught Jennie’s eye.

“Is this your work laptop?”

“Yes.”

“And you put this as your wallpaper?”

“Yeah. Is something wrong with it?”

Jennie pressed her face against Lisa’s arm and giggled. “No, no… I just didn’t expect it.”

Seeing her own smiling face in high definition definitely caught Jennie off guard. The photo was taken by Lisa like usual, on a day where they decided to get some food and eat by the Han River.

“The sunset was beautiful that day,” Jennie mused, eyes lingering on the pink hues of the sky in awe. Lisa had captured the moment so well.

“Was it? I didn’t really pay attention.” Jennie pinched Lisa’s side, making her laugh. “Can you blame me?”

“I’m flattered, I guess,” Jennie said. “As long as you don’t feel embarrassed about it.”

“Why would I be embarrassed of having a beautiful girlfriend?”

By the time she finished speaking, Lisa was already shutting down her laptop, placing it on top of the nightstand beside her. Jennie raised an eyebrow.

“You’re done already?”

“I was just killing time while waiting for you. I’m not gonna be that person who brings work to bed, Jennie.”

Jennie rested her chin on Lisa’s shoulder, staring at her through her lashes. “You sure?”

Lisa traced her jaw with her index, tilting Jennie’s head up until her lips were angled perfectly to be kissed. “Very sure. And just to be clear, I don’t need to look at you to know you continue to be the sexiest girl in the world.”

“Is that so?” As she kissed her again, Jennie slid her hand underneath Lisa’s cotton shirt. Her thumb rubbed against her stomach, while her remaining fingers pushed past the waistband of her sweatpants. “You wouldn’t mind turning the lights off then?”

Lisa’s breath hitched in anticipation.

It didn’t take long for Jennie to take charge, pushing Lisa down and continuing to kiss her like her life depended on it. She didn’t want to stop for anything, not even for Lisa to take her clothes off fully. Her wrist might make her feel the consequences of that decision later on, but Jennie didn’t care.

And yet there was something else. A thought that persisted on her mind, no matter how much Jennie tried to push it away. One moment she listened attentively to the addictive sounds leaving Lisa’s lips, and the next she felt an overwhelming pressure to do more. An urgency to make sure it was enough, that she was enough.

And when Lisa whimpered in pleasure, Jennie was glad her hand didn’t go numb so that she could still feel her orgasm on her fingers.

Jennie should’ve felt satisfied. Proud, even.

Only one thing was missing.

Jennie wasn’t aware of how much it was affecting her until Lisa switched their positions, kissing down her body and guiding her legs apart. Until Lisa’s touch was hot on her skin but still left her feeling empty inside. Until her tongue was tasting every part of her and still felt like it wasn’t enough, lacking what Jennie truly needed.

It was humiliating.

Because Jennie wasn’t the only one who noticed.

When she felt a tentative touch on her head, Lisa didn’t hesitate to pull away and move back up.

“What's wrong?” Lisa asked delicately. Like she was scared of Jennie breaking apart. Like she knew something had been wrong since the start.

“I can’t…” Jennie whined, biting her lip in frustration. “I can’t… if you don’t say it.”

She could pretend all the other occasions were fine, but not this one. In their most intimate moments, Jennie needed to hear it the most. The hollow feeling in her chest was unbearable.

Just then, Jennie hated herself for asking Lisa to turn off the lights. She needed to see her face so badly. Even a glimpse of her eyes would have sufficed.

“Say what?” Lisa kissed her cheek.

“The thing you always say.”

Jennie couldn’t confirm it in the dark, but she was pretty sure she felt Lisa’s lips form a smile against her skin. “And what’s that?”

“Lisa…”

“That you’re beautiful?”

Jennie shook her head. Lisa’s thigh pressed between her legs.

“That I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you?”

“Lisa.”

“That you make me the happiest I’ve ever been?”

Jennie’s hips lifted off the mattress of their own accord, rubbing against Lisa’s thigh harder.

She was so close.

If only Lisa said it.

“Please…”

It seemed like Lisa was tired of dragging it out too.

So, when she whispered “I love you” right before kissing her, Jennie finally felt the impact of the prolonged buildup, finding her release in a matter of seconds. Lisa’s mouth was muffling her moans, but as Jennie’s nails scratched hard against her back, she inevitably had to pull back.

Moments passed, and Jennie wasn’t sure of how long she spent silently staring at the ceiling, her chest rising and falling steadily. Lisa didn’t say anything either, lying on her side and holding Jennie’s hand on top of her stomach.

Jennie didn’t announce her departure when she got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. She was too embarrassed to speak a single word. She used the toilet and washed her hands and cleaned her face, but the shame didn’t leave her.

As she stared at her eyes through the mirror, she only felt pathetic.

“You’re such a joke,” she told herself, laughing dryly.

A new item had been added to Jennie’s list of humiliating moments she’d think about for the rest of her life. Not being able to come until your girlfriend said she loves you. Extremely embarrassing. How could she ever face Lisa after that?

Jennie already had to live with the knowledge of feeling like that. But now, on top of that, Lisa knew too.

Pacing around the bathroom seemed like her way of avoiding Lisa for longer. Maybe, if she was lucky, Lisa would fall asleep while she was gone.

Jennie hadn’t expected her girlfriend to be caring enough to come check on her. Why did Lisa have to be so good to her?

After two knocks and hearing Jennie say the door was unlocked, Lisa walked in and closed the door behind her. Jennie waited for her to say something about what had just happened. To ask Jennie what the hell was wrong with her. But Lisa didn’t

With her back pressed against the door and a timid smile on her face, Lisa asked, “do you want to take a bath?”

----

Who would have thought that at her age, balancing the stress from work and the worries in her relationship, Jennie would find her peace in a bubble bath.

Lisa did everything for her. She let the bathtub fill with hot water and added lavender oil to help with relaxation. She then undressed herself and stepped in the water, checking that the temperature was kind to the skin. After that, she sat down against the end of the tub, her elbow resting against the edge of it as she held her hand out.

“Join me?”

“You shouldn’t get your hair wet if you’re going to sleep after,” Jennie commented as she took her top off.

“I’ll be fine,” Lisa said calmly.

Jennie finished removing her last piece of clothing before she approached the tub. Holding Lisa’s hand for balance, she stepped in the water.

Lisa’s legs made space for her to sit between them. When she sat down, Jennie felt strong arms wrap around her shoulders and pull her until her back lay against Lisa’s chest.

“Better,” Lisa said, kissing the side of Jennie’s head.

Jennie closed her eyes and hummed contently, letting Lisa’s arms slide down and circle her chest, low enough for Jennie to lace her hands over them.

Yet again, Lisa could tell exactly how Jennie felt, as well as what to do to make her feel better. How else could she have figured out that Jennie needed to unwind in that moment? Or more specifically, that a bath would do the trick. Usually, Jennie would have trusted sleep to do its thing instead.

And if Lisa was making the effort to understand her and to communicate more in their relationship, why should Jennie be afraid of doing the same?

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Always,” Lisa said without hesitation.

Jennie opened her eyes again, letting out a long breath in preparation for what she was about to say. Admittedly, being in the arms of someone she trusted with her life made it much easier.

“After Taeyang said he fell out of love with me, I tried to think of the last time he told me that he loved me.”

“What about it?”

“I couldn’t remember. He stopped saying it and I didn’t notice. And it drives me insane because that’s something you should pay attention to in a relationship.”

Lisa didn’t reply for a few seconds. She probably didn’t expect the topic of Jennie’s ex being brought up again.

“I thought it bothered you. Sometimes you just freeze when I say it, so I thought it was too early,” Lisa admitted, her voice careful as she explained her sudden omission of the phrase. She pressed a kiss to Jennie’s head. “But not saying it didn’t change anything. I love you, Jennie. Always. No matter what.”

Jennie exhaled slowly, frustrated that her own doubts made Lisa think she’d done something wrong. “That’s because every time you said it, I suddenly thought… well, what would make you stop? What if one day I don’t make you feel in love anymore? Because that’s the difference, Lisa.” Her voice trembled, almost breaking. “If you were to fall out of love with me, it would completely destroy me.”

The love Jennie had felt for Taeyang didn’t even come close to what Jennie felt now. In a way, Jennie had given Lisa free access to her heart. At any moment, Lisa could break it into a million pieces, and Jennie wasn’t sure if she could stop her.

“I’d never do anything to hurt you,” Lisa said quietly, but with clear confidence.

“You don’t know that, not now. Say, in five years, your mind might change. And it scares me because I might not be able to prevent it from happening.”

“If I’m with you in five years you’d have a ring on your finger, Jennie.” The seriousness in Lisa’s voice made Jennie’s head turn back, only to be met with a fond gaze. “And I think you’re forgetting something very important.”

“What?”

“That I fell in love with you twice already. And the first time you didn’t even know I existed. That’s how easy it is for me to fall in love with you.”

“That was a crush,” Jennie retorted. “It wasn’t love.”

“I think it was definitely love in the standards of a teenager. I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s how I felt. Although, I think what I have with you now is my favourite kind of love.”

“Yeah?”

“And even if by some extremely unlikely chance I won’t feel the same way, I wouldn’t worry when it comes to me. You’d make me fall back in love in no time.”

“You put it too easily.”

“Well, if we’re being honest here, I should be the one worried. You might find someone that ticks all your boxes and leave me.”

“What?” Jennie almost yelled indignantly.

Lisa laughed humorously, but Jennie didn’t find it funny.

“What do you think went through my head every time you came back from a date? I was dreading hearing you say you found the love of your life.”

Jennie sat up straighter, shifting until she was face-to-face with Lisa, careful not to let water spill from the tub. “You’re serious?”

“Yes. I had a hard time feeling bad for your failed dates while also being relieved no one swept you off your feet.”

“Why did you never ask me out? You know, after I told you I also date women.”

“Ruining our friendship. Guilt over hiding that I was the one who confessed to you. Not being good enough for you,” Lisa listed, counting on her fingers. “I’d say plenty of reasons. Especially after you said you were looking for your Mr or Miss Perfect when your exes are literal models and I flipped burgers for a living.”

Jennie held Lisa’s face with both hands, droplets of water running down her arms and Lisa’s neck. “I would have picked you.”

“I’m far from perfect.”

“People aren’t,” Jennie said, remembering Lisa’s words from months ago. “But relationships can be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you could find any person who seems like the ideal partner, and they still wouldn’t be good enough for me. You asked me what my type was once, right?”

Lisa nodded.

“Well, that’s not something you can tell from a person on their own. I’ve come to realise that I’ll only know if someone is right for me depending on how they are in a relationship with me.”

Seeing the spark of interest in Lisa’s eyes, Jennie continued to explain.

“I want someone who will continue to cherish and support me, no matter where life takes me. Like Ryujin is to Lia. Somebody I will always gravitate towards, no matter the highs and lows. Like Jisoo is to Chaeyoung. And I also want someone who every day makes me wish for another tomorrow together. Someone I want to spend my present and future with, without a single doubt. Like Tzuyu is to Sana.”

Jenne leaned forward to kiss her.

“And most importantly, I want someone who feels like home,” she laughed quietly. “Regardless of whether we’re in a house that’s falling apart or a luxury penthouse.” She touched Lisa’s nose playfully. “That’s who you are to me, Lisa. Combined with all of the above.”

Lisa grabbed her hand and held it against her cheek with a bashful smile.

“And you said I was the one good with words.” She turned her head to kiss Jennie’s hand. “I love you.”

There, naked in a bathtub with the girl that owned her heart, Jennie finally said what she had been meaning to from the start. It was new, different from any other feeling she had experienced before, yet she was finally ready to embrace it for what it was.

“I love you too. Sometimes I’m afraid you won’t believe me if I say it, because truthfully, I’m not sure what I love you means anymore. But I hope you trust me when I say that what we have now feels a lot like it.”

Pulling her by the hand, Lisa guided Jennie’s arms around her shoulders, ensuring they were as close as they could get. “So… I shouldn’t be worried if a hunky guy or a supermodel happen to hit on you?”

Jennie rolled her eyes at the joking tone. “Not even a little. If anything, you should be thinking about what a good catch I am.”

“I’m reminded of that every single day I spend by your side.”

Love wasn’t always easy to understand. Jennie never expected that being dumped by her ex-boyfriend would lead her to find the person who made everything feel right. She never needed something thrilling and fleeting like Sana, or something comfortable and prone to dissipate like Taeyang.

All Jennie ever needed was Lisa.

Because if there’s one thing Jennie knew for certain, it was that no one loved her as perfectly as Lisa did.

“Be honest…” Jennie gently pressed her forehead to Lisa’s, eyes sparkling with mischief, “you were genuinely worried about Ella objecting to our wedding?”

“Absolutely terrified.”

----

The End