Chapter Text
A faint hum coming in intervals reverberated in her mind.
It was dark, but warm. Not as warm as a cockpit during intensive piloting. Still, warm.
The hum echoed throughout her. A veil of heavy drowsiness numbed any train of thought, steadily pulling her back to the darkness. Yet, the warmness, now tinged with ache, kept her from falling asleep.
The ache increased to the beat of the hum. At the same time, she saw shooting beams like firework lightning up space. Around her, black suits closed up on her, ready to slash, shoot, pierce – eliminate her. Feeling the incoming danger, her heartbeat increased the to beat of the hum. They were coming! They –
She opened her eyes. Her breath was quick and shallow. The room she was in was sterile and dimmed and completely unfamiliar. She tried moving and felt her body and head straining. A tube was attached to her arm.
I need to check up on everybody, she told herself. I need to make sure they have been stopped. I need to make sure it’s over, that we’re safe.
A thousand incoherent thoughts swirled in her mind. Her head felt on fire.
That insistent hum was becoming louder and faster. Feeling disturbed but with no time to spare she tried to get up. She reached for the tubes hindering her movement and tying her to place, but felt as if she was moving through thick gel. Her sight blurred and she nearly blacked out.
Just then, she saw figures closing in on her. Voices reached her as if through a distorted speaker . The figures were blurred and shrouded in darkness . Suddenly, she felt even warmer and the ache quickly subsided. She let herself blink, aware that she soon had to wake up and get moving, but telling herself it was okay to rest her eyes for a brief moment. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.
There was a faint hum.
When Suletta opened her eyes, she saw that she was in a sterile and clean room.
The hum was clearer now. She let her gaze wander, searching for the source of the noise. It seemed to be coming from next to her. She tried to move her neck and grimaced when a dull pain shot through her body.
She found the noisy culprit. It was a machine by her bedside. It seemed to be reading vitals. Loud and clearly.
It left her confounded. Could that be her vitals it was reading? Trying to make sense of the situation, Suletta tried to sit up. She was immediately struck by a pang of pain by the attempt. It felt as if she had been burned. But worse than that, she realized that she was constrained. She was tied down to the bed. She felt panic well in her chest like bad heartburn.
She strained against the restraints and felt her heartbeat racing the hum of the machine. It quickened and agitated her further. The restraints wouldn’t budge.
Suddenly, the was movement in the room. Suletta struggled to make it out from her position, but a voice soon reached her.
“Suletta-senpai?”
The figure in the corner of her eye quickly moved towards her.
“Ms. Lilique?”
“Yes, it’s me. I think I fell asleep, I didn’t notice you stirring just now.”
Her round, youthful face approached. Her lips formed a gentle curve and she radiated warm familiarity.
“Don’t strain yourself, I’ll loosen the restraints.”
For a brief moment of confusion, it slipped her mind that medical protocol in space usually involved restraining patients in zero-g. But she barely registered it.
“What’s going on? Where are we?” Suletta asked nervously. Her voice felt hoarse.
“You’ve been asleep for some time. We’re at Asticassia now.”
“Asticassia? Why? Where is everyone?”
“One question at a time. I think you need some water.”
By then, Lilique had unfastened the belt restraining her upper body. Suletta tentatively moved her arms and found the dull ache to be manageable. She shot a look at Lilique who had turned around.
“Wait,” she cried out, fearing that she would go away. Lilique turned and gave her a reassuring smile. She tried to form a question, but before she was able to do so her mind wandered and she felt herself lamely looking on at her classmate.
“Are we in danger?” she felt her mouth move of its own accord.
“In danger?” Lilique blinked. “No, we’re not. We’re going to be fine.”
The urge to barrage Lilique with questions abated and receded to the back of her mind. She tried to collect her thoughts to make sense of the situation, but felt it slip her mind like water running against her hands, useless for catching anything more than mere droplets. Instead, scenes flickered by in her inner eye.
The Calibarn. Quiet Zero. Aerial. Her mother.
“Here,” Lilique said. A straw appeared close to her face. “Take a drink.”
“I can sit up.”
“Don’t overwork yourself.”
“I’m fine.”
Suletta managed to raise her upper body, wincing at the effort. She had recalled the effects of datastorm by then. Her body must have taken a beating.
She accepted the straw with her mouth, drinking a couple of mouthfuls of water.
“I should call for the others. And I’ll need to call Belmeria, so that she can check up on you.”
Lilique opened up her gizmo.
“Where is everybody?” Suletta asked.
“Well, Belmeria’s in the ship so she’ll be here any moment.” Lilique started out. “Aliya and Till were with Tiko and the animals at camp. Nuno and Ojelo were off tinkering with some mobile craft on the campus, to clear the rubble, I think. Chuchu, I’m not sure, but I think she went off to the lounge. And Martin and Nika, they went with Miorine to the satellite room, although that was hours ago.”
Suletta listened and kept still. She took in the words and tried to process it all. They were at Asticassia. Back at school. Her mind nudged her to an uncomfortable assumption. Somehow, Quiet Zero was done and over with and they were back at school. What had really happened at Quiet Zero? Despite wanting to know, she remained silent. No words formed in the first place.
It didn’t take long for Belmeria to arrive. The middle-aged scientist’s eyes grew wide with disbelief at the sight of Suletta, but she quickly composed herself. She attentively read the vital and asked Suletta how her extremities felt; if she experienced any trouble breathing; and if she felt a burning sensation on her skin.
“I feel fine, a bit sore maybe.” She was a bit more than sore, but she felt surprisingly okay. She already felt she had recovered from the initial soreness in the short span of minutes that had passed since waking up.
Belmeria nodded dubiously.
“I don’t have the equipment to assess the permet contamination in your system, but so far you’ve only displayed the symptoms of short-term data-storm. You slept well and had no troubles breathing. You can move your finger and toes. The fact that no permet contamination on your body is visible to the eye is a good sign that you’ve avoided substantial damage.”
Belmeria reached for the tube in her arm. “I believe you’re safe to be discharged.”
She pulled the tube and deftly covered it with a gauze, then replaced it with a band-aid.
“Is this because of my tolerance to permet overload?”
Belmeria shifted her eyes ever so slightly.
“It might be. I’m not sure, honestly.”
Suletta noticed her stiff countenance and felt uneasy. At the foot of the bed, Lilique gave her a thumbs up.
“Do you feel ready to head out?” She asked.
Suletta moved to swing her legs out the bed. Despite the twinge of stiffness, she didn’t doubt her ability to get up and going.
“How about trying to stand up? Just don’t overexert yourself.”
Lilique moved to her knees and grabbed a hold of Suletta by her wrists as she raised her body and stood up. It was easy in the zero-g environment.
“You’re doing great.” Lilique said encouragingly and let go for Suletta to effortlessly remain in place. She felt ready to leave the cramped medical bay of the Neptune. It was the ship that had taken them to Quiet Zero.
Suletta noticed she was still in her orange bodysuit. The memory of donning it before Quiet Zero resurfaced. It felt like a long, long time ago. Her mind wandered. She wondered what the others were doing. Miorine, the Earth house, everyone who went along to Quiet Zero. Despite having heard hearing from Lilique what they had been up to, she desperately wanted to check it with her own eyes, to assure herself that they were are alive and well.
Then, as if slowly unveiling the curtains on stage, reality made itself ready to appear. Tucked away in the back of her mind was Quiet Zero’s looming mega-structure and its rapidly enshrouding datastorm. It reached for her and threatened to swallow her whole.
She sat down on the bed, feeling heavy all of a sudden. For a moment, she regarded her hands in her lap, feeling oddly disconnected as she turned over the bronzed backs of her hands and stared into her palms.
“Too quick up on your feet?” Lilique asked.
S uletta nodded stiffly. She was about to voice her request for a change of clothes when the door to the medical bay opened up. Everyone’s attention turned to the newly arrived person . It was Miorine. Suletta was struck by her sudden appearance and she felt her breath hitch as Miorine approached; regarding her with a look of astonishment. She was outright stunned when Miorine sat down on her heels where she sat and grabbed her hands.
“Are you alright? Are you feeling well?” she asked.
“I’m fine.” She managed to squeeze out.
Before she could even register it, Miorine had launched into her arms, grabbing her in a sudden embrace. Suletta let out a groan, feeling the dull ache flare up.
“Sorry. Are you really okay?”
Miorine loosened her grip and gave her a scrutinizing look, gaze traveling across her body in search of any apparent injury. Suletta was frozen in place. She was aware of the sudden warmth spreading in her face .
“I’m j-just a bit stiff.” she explained.
“Thank goodness.” Miorine let out.
Suletta was taken aback by her ardent relief. They had only ever embraced twice before.
“Was I out for very long?”
“Long enough.” Miorine sighed, but added. “One and a half day.”
One and a half day had passed since Quiet Zero then, Suletta surmised. The confirmation of passage of time as well as Miorine’s pressing proximity made her lose the thread of thought. Her mind was swimming.
“How much have you heard?” Miorine asked.
At first, Suletta didn’t grasp what she was asking for.
“Nothing yet.” Lilique chimed in.
“I should take my leave. Excuse me.” Belmeria said and exited the room. Miorine still held her under her watching gaze, but shot Lilique a quick glance.
“Do you mind?”
Lilique nodded and left.
They were left alone. All of a sudden, a knot that hadn’t been there could be felt in Suletta’s throat. “Suletta,” Miorine started, her voice low but steady. There was a moment of silence. Suletta felt compelled to look up and meet her eyes, but despite the proximity she veered her gaze. It felt as if Miorine was looking straight through her. Her touch felt cool yet comforting against her own clammy, uncomfortable skin.
She felt compelled to say something and opened her mouth – but nothing came out. Not a single coherent thought formed in the first place.
“I’m so sorry.” Miorine said earnestly. Her voice enveloped Suletta. “I’m so sorry it came to this.”
Suletta looked up and met a pair of saddened, worried eyes. She figured she must have looked quite pitiful.
Instinctively, in accordance with her people-pleasing, good-humored nature, a smile began to form on her lips. She supposed she had to assure Miorine of something, to appease her. Still, whatever fleeting attempt at keeping her cool she had tried to assume, it slipped past her grasp. Before she knew it, she was sobbing quietly.
“It’s over, isn’t it?” She stated between gasps of breath, bitterly. “I couldn’t do it. I failed.”
Miorine held her tightly. Her silver hair brushed against Suletta’s tear-streaked face. She saw her own hands, stiffly holding Miorine's back. Suletta almost couldn’t stand the sight of it. Those hands – her own hands. They were good-for-nothing hands. Unable to do anything good, unable to serve a purpose. Unable to be useful in the most critical moment.
“They’re dead.” She spat out. Her frayed mind throbbed at the truth. It closed in on her.
“I,” she started, but bit her tongue. Her vision was blurry. “I did it. I killed them.”
“No, you didn’t,” Miorine entreated, almost drawing back. Suletta held her tight. “You did everything you could.”
“I couldn’t do it. I dragged you all in this mess, but I couldn’t do it.”
“It’s not your fault.”
It flashed before her. The enshrouding beam of light that met Aerial’s body, pushing and pushing until it pierced and swallowed every metal piece. Her sister in the data storm, for a last time looking back and sending a smile of reassurance. Her mother, silently pushing her away and sending her moving away, away and helpless but to watch her final moments.
“I’m sorry,” she said aloud, pitifully. “I couldn’t do it.”
Miorine shook her head.
“It’s over now.” She said under her breath.
They remained like that for a while.
Eventually, they released each other from their embrace. Suletta had almost been dozing off, the concept of time having escaped her completely. Miorine’s steady grip on her grounded her to reality, serving as a pacifying force in a whirlwind of emotions. She had no idea how long they had remained like that.
Miorine settled down next to her.
“We retrieved you outside of the cockpit. You had lost consciousness by then.” Miorine started. “We saw… your mother, not to far away. We retrieved her body.”
Suletta felt a pang of pain.
Her body.
A surreal feeling washed over her. Still, she didn’t interrupt Miorine.
“There was almost nothing left of Aerial. Nothing but small, scattered pieces of metal. I’m sorry.”
She had seen it with her own two eyes. It had been before her mother had joined her.
“We had to hurry. The Assembly League was closing in on us. Quiet Zero had been deactivated and when they realized it wouldn’t be re-activated they headed straight for us. By then, we took contact with them and I told them that I was disbanding Benerit. They didn’t care.”
Miorine took a deep breath. She looked weary all of a sudden.
“They demanded us to surrender. Guston warned us, told us that surrendering would be a bad idea. That they would try to paint us as the culprits and seize Benerit for themselves. That we had to get back to safety and recoup first. We eventually took off for Asticassia. But not before the ship my father was in got apprehended by the League.”
“Your father?” Suletta tentatively asked.
Miorine nodded.
“He’s most likely safer with them than he would be here anyway. He used to be in the military. I suppose he has some friends in the League.”
“Like I said, we went off for Asticassia. We figured heading to Benerit HQ would escalate the situation. If we went to school, it would be a bad look for the League if they started shooting at us. We decided to go here to broadcast the disbandment and hopefully settle it with the League.”
Miorine touched her temple. Suletta thought she looked exhausted and felt worried.
“But they didn’t care for any of that. They issued a counter-statement and reaffirmed that their original intent remained unchanged. They are bent on arresting me. Quiet Zero is said to be my doing.”
“But that’s ridiculous.” Suletta protested. Miorine gave her a wan smile.
“Not for the Butcheress of Quinn Harbor.”
Suletta felt her chest tighten. The blame was being put on Miorine. Despite the fact that she had only tried to do good. She had been branded a killer. And it had been due to her own mother.
Suletta felt a sudden scathing redness in her face.
“None of that is true. I know that you didn’t do anything.”
Miorine looked at her, sensing her indignation. She shook her head in resignation.
“It’s fine. As long as you believe in me.”
Suletta thought that it wasn’t fine at all, but she pursed her lips.
“Anyway, we’re stuck here at school for now. The League is refusing to negotiate and is attempting to blockade the front. No one goes in, no one goes out. Dominicus fleet’s here with us. They’re all parked here, ready for showdown if it comes to that. The theory is that Dominicus’ fleet is superior to the League’s, considering the losses sustained at Quiet Zero. The question now remains whether they’ll happily keep up the blockade in order to starve us, or whether they’ll get bored and shoot that space-laser at us, despite the possible bad press that’ll get.”
“Are those the only two options?” Suletta asked horrified.
“We’re hoping for negotiations.”
“What about… fighting our way out?”
“Hm. And then go where? You goofball, we can’t run from this.”
Suletta shrank back. Things were never straight-forward.
“What now then?”
“We wait. Wait and hope that the tides turn.”
Miorine sighed and leaned against Suletta’s shoulder. Her focus on the issue at hand dispersed. It didn’t seem as pressing suddenly. Not as pressing as Miorine’s closeness.
Silence stretched out between them. There was a calm in the air. Suletta could almost close her eyes and imagine them back at Miorine’s room, before any of this had taken place. But then again, Miorine would never have unabashed leaned in against her like this. Or grabbed her in a sudden embrace in front of others, for that matter. Suletta tried not to dwell on it.
“You look tired.” She broke the silence. “Did you get some sleep?”
To her surprise, Miorine broke out laughing.
“You’re so silly.” she told her. “You shouldn’t be worrying about me.”
“Why not?” She didn’t get it at first. Of course she worried.
“You’re the one who’s just woken up after a bout in the medical bay. If anyone should be worried, it’s me.”
“I’m fine.” Suletta said sheepishly.
Miorine gave her an odd look and suddenly reached for her. Her hands grabbed a hold of her cheeks. Pinching them.
Suletta flinched and let out an ‘ouch!’. She rubbed her cheeks.
“What was that for?”
“Just making sure you’re okay.”
“That’s a strange way to do it.”
“Can you stand?”
“Huh? Oh, yes.”
Miorine got up on her feet and lent her a hand. Before Suletta stood up, she realized that she was still only in her bodysuit. Her cheeks flushed at the reminder.
“I’d like a change of clothes.”
“Okay.”
“...I’d like it before I leave the medical bay.”
Miorine raised an eyebrow. But she moved for the cabinets.
“This can do for now.” She pulled out a bundle of clothes. It seemed to be crew overalls. “You can take a shower at my cabin.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the off-hand comment. In Miorine’s cabin?
Suletta pulled on the overalls handed to her and only struggled with the zipper. Her fingers felt weak. She wondered if that was part of the effect of data-storm. Bundled up and ready in the overalls, Miorine offered her hand again.
“Careful now.”
Suletta got up on her feet. It wasn’t difficult in low gravitation.
Miorine gave her a radiant smile.
“Let’s get out of here.”
She was glad to do as she told her. They moved for the door.
What she hadn’t expected was that the hallway outside the medical bay would be clogged by people. They got out, and Suletta nearly stumbled over a sitting Nuno. Before she was sent tumbling , a couple of arms grabbed unto her. It was the earth house. Waiting outside. Some of them had sat down in the narrow hallway, others were leaning against the wall. But they had all been stirred to attention and were by now looking at her.
“Suletta!” voices overlapped, a mix of relief and joy, and at once the group moved towards her. Being surrounded at once by everyone, Suletta couldn’t help but to break out in a big smile as they huddled around her, some reaching out for a friendly pat or grabbing her by the shoulder.
“Look, I told you she’s up and well.” Lilique said triumphantly.
“You really do look well.” Nuno said incredulously.
“Well, she’s had plenty of time for beauty sleep.” Chuchu said and squeezed Suletta’s shoulder.
“You’re not in any pain, are you?” Aliya asked.
“Everyone…” Suletta started, “I’m fine, I just…” Momentarily overwhelmed by everyone’s concern, whatever words of assurance she ought to say stuck on her tongue. Before having even formed an idea of what to properly convey, she saw an outreached hand holding what seemed to be a ration-package in front of her, and a voiced piped up to her side.
“You ought to be hungry.” The hand turned the package pointedly at her. “Here.”
Suletta meekly accepted the ration from Ojello, who was smiling widely, and took note of the pleased faces close to her. It made her remember the taste of fresh goat-milk, and of feeling like she belonged. Just like back then, the smile formed naturally, and she felt her eyes moistening, but this time, she blinked and nodded, keeping any tears at bay.
“I’m…” Suletta squeezed out and felt her appreciation overflowing. At the same time as her stomach rumbled. “I’m so hungry.”
A couple of astonished laughs were let out.
She felt Miorine’s hand gripping her by the overall.
“I think I do need a shower first though.” Suletta said and glanced back at Miorine. Some of the others were quick to catch on.
“We’re staying at the tent camps.” Lilique told her. “If you ever want to drop by.”
“She’s not coming?” It was Chuchu’s voice.
Nika shushed her.
“What?”
“We usually have tea for breakfast.” Aliya told her.
Suletta nodded. Tea for breakfast sounded good.
In the end, she got away in tow of Miorine. She led her to the cabin she was staying in.
Suletta took a hot shower. She let her thoughts swivel down the drain. Her body had taken quite the beating and the pressurized water felt pleasant on her skin. There was a faint, red line just beneath her collarbone. Except for that, she had got ten away largely unscathed after all.
There had been a high possibility of death s tepping into the cockpit of Calibarn. She had been aware of it. Still, coming out at the other end largely intact felt like a twist of irony.
Before the thoughts threatened to take hold of her, she turned off the water and dried her body. She reached for the set of borrowed clothes. Dark gray jumper and trousers. With a peculiar emblem on the chest which she peered at in the fogged mirror. A woman’s profile and a raised sword.
She exited the cramped shower-room. Miorine was lying in bed and Suletta wondered if she had fallen asleep, but she stirred when she gingerly closed the sliding door.
“Your food.” Miorine gestured at desk, where the ration-package was placed.
Suletta mumbled a word of gratitude and sat down. She was taken aback when she noticed that the ration had been warmed. Had Miorine microwaved it? She shot her an awed look.
“What?”
“Nothing.” She grinned for herself. Miorine would probably scoff and say something ironic with an edge in her voice if she expressed her astonishment. But she decided she couldn’t keep it to herself.
“Just surprised you know how to heat food.”
“Hey, I’m not completely helpless.” As expected, she quickly barked back.
Suletta took of the lid and recognized the brand of food. She had eaten it countless of times at Mercury. She already knew the flavor before taking the first bite. Pork and spinach. Synthetic flavors, of course.
“You’re not hungry?”
Miorine had been closing her eyes.
“No,” she languidly reached for the gizmo by the pillow. “It’s twenty minutes past midnight, I’m beat.”
So it was in the middle of the night.
“But you’re a night-owl.”
She hummed in response. Suletta figured she was about to fall asleep at any moment. She hurriedly ate the ration.
“It’s strange. I got really, really tired when you woke up. I guess I feel like I can finally sleep now that you’ve woken up.” She spoke in a slow, drowsy manner.
“I’m sorry if I kept you up.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“Sor- right.”
Miorine was closing her eyes again. Suletta finished the meal and crumbled the package together.
The cabin felt warm despite being in typical spartan spaceship design. Warm, as in there was a certain comfort to the room. It must have been because Miorine was its centerpiece. The only light illuminating the space was the small one at the desk. Suletta reached for it.
Wait.
She glanced back at Miorine. And the bed. There was only one bed. She sat frozen in spot, dismayed at the realization. That was not a bed for two persons. For a fleeting moment, she imagined them huddled together in the cramped bed and her heartbeat fastened.
“Are you done?” Miorine asked.
“What?” Suletta asked befuddled, her mind racing with other thoughts.
“Your food. Did you finish?”
“Y-yes.”
“Come one over here then.”
Suletta’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t be serious, could she?
She approached the bed and slowly sat down at the edge. Miorine stirred and got up, gesturing for Suletta to move. Her hand reached down by the side of the bed and pulled at something.
“Your legs are in the way.”
Suletta put her legs up on the bed and looked on. A whirring mechanism could be heard as a cot rolled out from beneath the bed.
“Oh,” Suletta uttered, stumped.
Miorine shot her a look.
“You thought we would share a bed?”
“What? No!” Suletta instinctively said, biting her tongue. “I mean, I didn’t know there was another bed.”
Miorine raised an eyebrow. Then, as if remembering something, she added. “we did sleep together at my room, once.”
The term ‘sleep together’ whirled around in Suletta’s head. She slid down unto the rolled out cot and tried not to expose her reddened cheeks.
“Your bed was a lot wider.” she said, justifying why the circumstances were different now.
“Hm, does that matter?”
“Of course! We wouldn’t fit together in this bed.”
“Do you want to try?”
Suletta whipped back to Miorine, feeling the need to know if she was being serious. It was difficult to tell. But before Suletta even could form any words, stumped as she was, Miorine closed her eyes and said.
“Can you turn off the light? I’m going to sleep now.”
Suletta did turn off the light and crawled back into bed. By then the rhythmic breathing coming from Miorine could already be heard. Lying in the extra bed and staring up at the ceiling, her mind wandered.
She wondered what the end goal of it all was. She focused on the dark ceiling above her and desperately tried not to think that there was no end in sight. Realizing the futility of it all, she closed her eyes and let the images she had suppressed during the short period she had been awake came rushing back with a vengeance.
Mother had removed her helmet in space and shoved Suletta away as she silently suffocated. In space, everything was silent. Suletta only heard herself in her helmet as she repeatedly called for Mother.
She opened her eyes again. Next to her, Miorine was laying still. She focused on breathing steadily. In, out, in out, in out. As long as she held her focus, she was sure she wouldn’t lose her composure. It would be like piloting. Remain focused, breathing steadily. In out, in out.
She wasn’t sure how many hours it took for her to fall asleep. By the time she woke up, Miorine was awake. She told her she had bad news that couldn’t wait. They had to do a test run of the Calibarn.