Chapter Text
Me: So are you guys like...dating?
Mikey: Yes.
Draken: No.
Mikey: What-
Chapter 2: Boys Beware Mad Tsai
Chapter Text
Me seeing Hanma for the first time: That boy might be the worst-
My friend who recently came out as gay after saying this: But damn, he looks fine.
Chapter 3: We have interesting opinions-
Chapter Text
My friend from last chapter meeting Mikey: That boy might be the worst-
Neabwhile me metting Mikey: But damn, he looks fine. He makes the devil wet his bed at nighttime,
Friend: Bro...you good?
Me: *me 100% not with a bloody nose as I say this* Yeah I'm i'm fine, I'm great, even, like, damn, I'm-i'm great after seeing this
{My dog looking dissapointed in the background}
Chapter 4: oh god
Chapter Text
Mikey: Kenny! Look! I made Eddie my slave!
Draken: Bro, you can't say that he's Hispanic-
Me: What?! You did not-
Mikey talking to me: If I said kiss me right now what would you do?
Me: I'd call you out for BS.
Mikey: Kiss me.
Me: Yes. *kisses*
Draken: ...well that got interesting
Chapter 5: Mikey beta reads?!
Summary:
this is like a groupchat messages btw
Chapter Text
Me: YOOO!! Mikey! Can you do a beta read for me?
SMiley: he beta reads?!
Draken: There's no way.
Baji: GUYS SHUT UP IM WITH CHIFUYU
Me: Damn no need to yell
Baji: caps lock is not friend
Mitsuya: yeah, grammar isn't really your friend either
Chifuyu: Or writing
Baji: Chifuyu! You said you went to the bedroom!
Smiley: hehehheh bedroom~
Baji: *bathroom
Baji: I meant bathroom I swear
Draken: Okay buddy
Me: Mikeyyyyyyyy
Mikey: I'll do the beta read
Me: YAY!!
Draken: God, Mikey you know the kind of sh*t he writes
Mikey: yes and?
Mitsuya: Bro Eddie is the king of crackfics
Mikey: He writes some sm*t too
Smiley: What
Draken: Wait what did you say
Pah: wtf
Mitsuya: wdym he 'writes sm*t too'?!
Mikey: Oh yeah it's always some VERY detaile M/M and I find it quite interesting
Me: I CAN EXPLAIN
Kazutora: Now i gotta hear this
Me: well um...i was bored?
Draken: That is the worst excuse you could've given
Mikey: I enjoy reading them personally
Me and everyone else: WHAT
Chapter 6: The Kawata brothers being the Kawata brothers
Chapter Text
Smiley/ Nahoya: Thank you for sunshine!
Angry/ Souya: Thank you for rain.
Smiley: Thank you for joy!
Angry: Thank you for pain.
Takemichi wanting to be included: It's a beatiful day!
Chapter 7: hehehhehehhhhh
Chapter Text
Mikey: Kenny! What chapstick does Eddie use? It tasted good.
Draken: Oh well he uses- wait what
Mikey: Don't worry about it, what chapstick does he use?
Draken: N-no why do you know his chapstick tastes good?!
Mikey: I gave him a little something, now what chapstick does he use?
Draken: What'd you give him?!
Mikey: That's not important, what is important is what chapstick he uses-
Me: *in the background with my fingers grazing my lips and sitting on the floor not knowing what to do, a blushing mess* Holy f*ck.
Draken: ...what did you do
Chapter 8: maybe i did
Chapter Text
Baji: *kisses Chifuyu on the forehead*
Pah: Weren't you with Kazutora yesterday? You got a sidepiece or something?
Baji: No. I don't do 'sidepieces', I do openly polyamorous relationships where we all have mutual feelings for one another!
Mitsuya: All right, who taught him how to speak formally?
Chifuyu: Wasn't me.
Smiley: I didn't teach him,
*Everyone suddenly looks at me*
Draken: What'd you tell him?
Me: WHy do you assume it was me?
Mikey: Most of us are gay but you take it to a whole new level. And you're a walking dictionary.
Me: ...touche
Draken: answer the question
me: I told him to use those big words if he ever got accused of having a 'sidepiece'
Pah: Wow, it's like you know this sh*t's gonna happen!
Me who's expierenced tons of homophobia so prepares for possible outcomes: *sarcasm* NO!! Really????
Chapter 9: what a cute couple
Chapter Text
Draken trying to reassure Mikey after chapter 61: Hey, it's always gonna be you and me, alright?
Mikey: and my dorayaki right?
Draken: *sighs* AND your dorayaki
Chapter 10: Y'know that moment in Toy Story
Summary:
i'm talking about height yall
Chapter Text
My thoughts: *sees Baji then sees Draken* They just keep getting bigger!
My thoughts: *sees back of Mikey and is releived he's 5'3* There's a nice little one over there!
Mikey: *turns around to face me*
My thoughts: *sees how attractive he is* AHHHHHHH
Chapter 11: A true story
Summary:
so we did yoga at my camp today and this is how it went don irl so
Chapter Text
Yoga instructor: So now for my favorite breathing technique, imagine something hot. Like soup, or coffee, or fire.
Me: *imagining Mikey from Tokrev*
Yoga instructor: Now I want everyone to say what they thought of.
My mind: oh sh*t.
Person 1: Hot chocolate!
P2: Ham!
P3: Broth!
Y.I.: Very good! *turns to me* What about you?
Me: ...Manjiro Sano
Y.I.: *confused af* what? please describe it.
Me: *sweating* It's muscular and tastes delicious.
Y.I.: *thinks I'm talking about a Japanese food* Oh okay. *to the class* Now imagine yourself blowing that hot thing you thought of!
Me: *hiding smirk cause I'm thinkin dirty*
Chapter 12: feelings
Summary:
Wakui is no homophobe, he just didn't make my ship come true
Ken Wakui is the author for those of you anime watchers who don't know
Chapter Text
Draken: I have feelings for you,
Mikey: I have feelings for you too,
Ken Wakui: But not like in a gay way-
Chapter 13: THIS MANNNNNN
Summary:
Jalebi baby
Chapter Text
Me; Everybody tryna figure out your recipe, I'm just tryna get a piece,
Baji: Baby, I know that you wanna get crazy, crazy, shawty take it slow then, ਛੇਤੀ ਛੇਤੀ
Mitsuya: The f*ck did i jut walk in on-
Chapter 14: yes, yes he is
Chapter Text
Me seeing Baji for first time: Is it hot in here? Are you hot? I mean you are hot. I MEAN-
Baji: *smirking*
Chifuyu already knowing he's gonna hafta deal with Baji using horrid pickup lines: Dammit, why did we put him in first division?
Chapter 15: when youre new to toman be like
Chapter Text
Mikey: This was a spelling bee produced by Baji.
Chifuyu: the first word is...*dammit* ROOO UKKKK
Me: *actually concerned* Are you okay?!
Draken: *looking at the way Baji spelled rock as RUOK* That is correct.
Baji: Congratulations you win!
Me: What is happening-
Chapter 16: Family Feud
Summary:
so i kinda have a headcanon that Baji is like afraid of monsters and stuff dont ask ok
Chapter Text
Takemichi: What is something you would buy if you thought your neighbor was a vampire.
Me: A new house, Takemichi.
Baji: I want you to understand where he's coming from!
Chifuyu: *nodding*
Baji: Our neighbor's a vampire, long-haired guys move!
Mikey and Draken: *eye roll*
Chapter 17: No I don't simp for Smiley...
Summary:
i lied
Chapter Text
Nahoya being cute and smiling: You should call me kawaii!
Me daydreaming even though he said it to everyone as a joke: Play it like a h*ntai~
Baji: WHAT THE HELL?!
Chifuyu: Yeah wth?
Pah: Screw 'what the hell' WHAT THE F*CK?!
Mitsuya: I second that wtf.
Souya: *wondering why the f*ck his brother's being flirted with*
Chapter 18: No Lie
Chapter Text
MItsuya: Feel your eyes, they all over me. *sincere tone* Don't be shy.
Me: *blushing* Take control of me.
Chapter 19: crap
Chapter Text
Chifuyu: Just tell him.
Me: OKay, i'll try.
FIVE MINUTES LATERRRR
Me: Hi Baji!
Baji: Hi Eddie!!!
Me: umm..
Baji: Is there something you want to say?
Me:...i really like your body, I really wanna get naughty... i think you're such a hottie-
Chifuyu: *facepalms*
Baji: *smirking and chuckling because thta was awkward af*
Chapter 20: coming out to mom and dad be like
Chapter Text
Me: *calls my parents*
Mom: Hi! What do you need?
Me: Mama, I'm in love with a criminal...
Dad: ..and?
Mom: This kind of love isn't rational!
Kazutora: It's physical. *hangs up*
Me:...you didn't need to tell them that-
Chapter 21: me being a bad influece on my ship kids
Summary:
this is for the chifuyu x baji x kazutora ship i named the child akio
there is backgrund Mieky x Draken and thye have a child in this
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Me on Father's day: Okay Akio, go tell your dads what I told you to say.
Akio: Okay Uncle Eddie!
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Akio: Dad! Papa! Daddy! HAppy FAther's day!
Baji: Thanks, son. *smiles*
Chifuyu: Oh um, thanks
Kazutora: Thank you!
Akio: You guys are the best dads, because all the others suck!
Mikey: Excuse me?
Draken: Woah there kid-
Akio: Uncle Eddie told me to say it!
Draken and Mikey: *turn to me and glare*
Baji: *laughing his ass off*
Kazutora: *trying to not laugh*
Chifuyu: *has a 'that's my "brother" alright' look on his face*
Me: heh...well um.. IT'S BEEN FUN BUT NOW I'VE GOT TO GO-
Notes:
yes ik im late on this one
Chapter 22: oh no-
Chapter Text
Takemichi: *talking about a show he watched* So yeah, the adults got a million dollars and the kids got trauma.
Me and the division captains who watched The Promised Neverland together: That sounds familiar-
Chapter 23: good gods
Chapter Text
The captains: *arguing*
Mikey: we need to do something about this bullsh*t
me: Don't worry, I got this
Mikey: Okay...
Me: *gets on table* WHO WANTS TO RUN OVER WATERMELONS WITH OUT BIKES IN THE PARK AND GET DRUNK?!
Draken: *faceplams*
Mikey: Oh hey it worked-
Chapter 24: Dating apps
Summary:
bro needs to SPECIFY
Chapter Text
Mikey: *trying to get me over a breakup but I already started dating Mitsuya and he no likey* Say something cool, and we'll put you on that dating website.
Me: Okay, cool.
Mikey: Okay, go ahead.
Me: I play proffesional football for the Dallas Cowboys.
Draken: No.
Me: I'm an army vet from Minnesota.
Draken: What?
Me: I'm Spiderman.
Mikey: No.
Draken: Don't say that.
Me: I won Miss America.
Mikey: That didn't happen.
Me: I got second place.
Draken: Say something true.
Me: um... Leonardo DeCaprio didn't really die in the Titanic, he was just acting.
Draken: No, Eddie.
Me: *gasps* He died?
Mikey who thought the same thing: Get the f*ck out of here-
Chapter 25: mu dumb@ss causing problems
Summary:
i ahve too mnay intrusive thoughts at this point tbh
Chapter Text
Me: The ocean is a soup.
Draken: Yeah, you're gonna have to walk me through that one buddy.
Me: WHat's needed for a soup to be a soup?
Draken: okay, let's go with... water, vegetables, salts, and me personally, a little bit of meat.
Draken: *realizes it* Oh my god the ocean is a soup...
Mikey walking in after I finished telling him this before Draken: KENCHIN THE OCEAN IS A SOUP! OH MY GOD!
Me: The. Ocean. Is. A. Soup.
Chapter 26: the realization
Summary:
this is not a joking matter, the three things i say are true. reader discretion is advised.
Chapter Text
Takemichi: Let's play two truths and a lie!
Me: ooh! Ooh! I'll go first!
Mikey: Okay!
Me: I'm tall, my eyes are brown, and I saw my best friend get shot and die when I was 4.
Draken: Uh yeah, nice try. But..uh it's gotta be a little more complicated than that.
Mikey: Kenchin, his eyes are green...
Draken: *moment of realization* YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND WHA-
Chapter 27: baji no-
Summary:
from the song
Block B and this is the actual english translation
Chapter Text
Baji a few minutes before meeting Chifuyu: Bye guys, hi ladies, uhm muah!
Chifuyu: *walking in and challenging him*
Baji realizing how hot he is: We are back again-
Chapter 28: uh ohhhh
Chapter Text
Takemichi: THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE SCHOOL! TAKE COVER!
Me: *trying to hide the kid named Cover*
Chapter 29: Y'know that moment in Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
Summary:
Pimento NO-
Chapter Text
Me: You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair.
Mitsuya: What?
Me: I am a-okay being stabbed. Biting and scratching are on the table. You CAN use fire.
Mitsuya: These are the ground rules? Is there anything off-limits?
Me: *smirks* Damn man...you got something really sick you wanna do huh?
Chapter 30: Nahoya gives the best hugs
Chapter Text
Nahoya: *hugging me and nuzzling my face with his*
Me: I'm still mad that you ate my chips!
Nahoya: *hugging more* No you're not!
Chapter 31: sewing is not my friend
Chapter Text
Takemichi: What are you guys doing?
Mitsuya: I'm teaching Eddie ere how to sew.
Me in the background: MY F*CKING SHIRT GOT STUCK TO THE F*CKING MACHINE AGAIN! I SWEAR TO F*CKING GOD I'M GONNA THROW THIS SH*T SO FAR-
Mitsuya: *runs to save his sewing machine*
Chapter 32: They were expecting another wimp
Summary:
y'all knwo the whole
"Who are you playing with sweetie?" "Amanda." Oh." "AH WHO ARE YOU?!" "I'm amanda, I'm six!"
yeah listen to that while reading this
Chapter Text
Draken: So who's your friend, Takemitchy?
Takemichi: Eduardo.
Draken: Oh.
Pah: WHO ARE YOU?!
Me: *with my spunky hairstlyle, tall stature and pierceing eyes* I'm Eduardo. I'm 17.
Mikey: ...wow
Chapter 33: what Mikey-
Chapter Text
Tekemichi: Why do you keep buying new dice?
Mikey: Well they're tasty.
Me: Oh yeah I guess they are pretty WAIT DID YOU SAY TASTY-
Mikey: *eats a die*
Chapter 34: Its just a joke guys pls
Summary:
don't take this seriously please
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Jesus: What are you gonna do if I broke into your house?!
Me: *grabs welding mask*
Draken: *grabs wood*
Mikey: *grabs chains*
Takemichi: *crying*
Nahoya: *grabs electric screwdriver*
Baji: *grabs more wood*
Mitsuya: *grabs blueprints for a cross*
Me: We've been waiting for you to say that *puts on mask*
Notes:
we set
Chapter 35: god emma leave draken alone
Chapter Text
Emma: *drank too much and is now dancing in front of draken*
Draken: *uncomfortable af*
Me: Somebody come get her,
Mikey: *trying to get out of here cause that's his sister* She's dancing like a stripper...
*Nobody coming here*
Me: SOMEBODY COME GET HER!!!
Takemichi: *wants to leave now* She's feeling all the liquor...
Hinata: *runs in to grab her*
Chapter 36: i'd be the bad influece
Summary:
before joining toman
Chapter Text
Akkun: *being responsible* We're told we have to do but surely.
Yamagishi: *listening*
Takuya: *nodding*
Takemichi: *agrees*
Me: *has Makoto in headock and pinned to the ground because he tried to fight me* Sometimes we have to be a little bit naughty!
Chapter 37: COME GETTTT HERRR
Chapter Text
Draken's problems with Emma as a friend of hers: Somebody come get her,
Me: *traumatized by what she's doing* She's dancing like a stripper...
MEANWHILEEE
Takemichi's problems with having Hinata as a gf: SOMEBODY COME GER HER! SHE'S HITTING ME WITH THE SLIPPER!!!!
Chapter 38: me and Nahoya vibing with Souya has concerns
Chapter Text
Me: *reading yaoi*
Nahoya: What'cha readin'?
Me: 'The Color of Love'
Nahoya: Lemme seeeeeee!!! *sees I'm on a heated scene* oooooooohhh
Me: Don't. Tell. Souya.
Nahoya: AS long as I can read!
~~~minutes later~~~
Nahoya: *giggles* We are so going to hell!
Me: *nodding and chuckling* Yep.
Souya: What are you guys doing?!
Me and Nahoya: *SCREAMS LOUDLY*
Chapter 39: problems
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Takemichi when Baji beat the living hell out of Chifuyu: Not my problem, that's just not my problem, problem,
Takemichi seeing Draken and Mikey get into an argument over what underwear brand is the best: GET INTO YUH!
Notes:
yes. yes i did
Chapter 40: street smart but not any other smart
Summary:
they try to tutor takemichi
or
everyone goes apeshit over a math problem
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Takemichi: *sighs*
Chifuyu: What's the problem?
Takemichi: Math problems *hands CHifuyu his homework*
CHifuyu: Oh i can help you! All right! Here's an easy one! What's 6 X 3?
Takemichi: *blank stare*
Chifuyu: 6 X 3.
Takemichi: I don;t know..
Chifuyu: *getting pissed* SIX TIMES THREE!!!!
Takemichi: I don't-
CHifuyu: SIX X THREE!!!!!!!!!!
Takemichi: I LEGIT DON'T KNOW!!!
Chifuyu: 6 X 3!!!
Takemichi: I don't know!!! What is it?!??!?
Chifuyu: WHat is it?! *blank stare* ...get the vice-captain
Takemichi: WHy?
Chifuyu: DRAKEN!!!!!!!
Draken: WHta's the problem?
Chifuyu: Homework.
Draken: *grabs paper* WHat's 6 X 3?
Takemichi: I don't know!
Draken: *slams paper on table* 6 x 3!!!
Takemichi: I don't know...
Draken: WHat's 6 + 6?
Takemichi: oh, 12!
Draken: *picks him up by shirt and shakes him* Now add six!!!
Takemichi: IDK! WHAT IS IT?!??!?!
Draken: WHAT IS IT?! *blank stare* ...get the commander
Takemichi: Huh-
Draken: MIKEY!!!
Mikey: *kicks door open and walks in like the gremlin he is* BOOM. WHATS?!?!
Draken: Homework!
Mikey: *dramatically grabs paper* I TAUGHT YOU THIS!!! *angry* WHAT'S SIX TIMES THREE?!?!?!
Takemichi: I DON'T KNOW!!!
Mikey: If Toman kicks three bastard's butts six times, how many butts would we kick?!?!?!?
Takemichi: *crying now* HOW MANY?!?!?
Mikey: *loosing it* HOW MANY?!?! *blank stare* ..........
Draken: *shaking his head*
Takemichi: *mental breakdown*
Chifuyu: *contemplating the problem harshly*
Mikey: ... *uses fingers* 1,2,3,4,5,6,7...
Notes:
can you tell they interrupted Mikey either sleeping or eating?
Chapter 41: well that took a turn
Chapter Text
Baji getting into Valhalla: And now I am going to f*ck you! *talking to CHifuyu*
Chifuyu: *blushing*
everyone: *awkward looks*
Hanma: well this just got interesting...
Me: *whispering to Baji* It's 'f*ck you up,' Baji.
Baji: Wait, what did I say-
Chapter 42: i had a moment
Summary:
yes i o wear glasses and i am autistic
Chapter Text
Me: *takes off glasses to clean with shirt*
Mitsuya: Oh my gosh, your eyes are so beautiful,
Me: *putting glasses back on* Thanks....THEY DON'T WORK-
Chapter 43: dayum hanma
Chapter Text
Kazutora: So what's something your partner's done and you stayed?
Me: excessive clinginess, i left her.
Hanma: Kisaki shot at me.
Me: He shot at you?! And you stayed??!?!?! you literally dodged a bullet and said *High-pitched Gabriel Iglesias voice* 'I love you anyway!'
Baji: Bro, took, 'I can fix him' to a whole new level!!!
Chifuyu: YOU LEGIT CAN'T FIX THAT MAN!!
Hanma: I...I'm still with him y'know?
Chapter 44: nooo
Summary:
okay i legit wanna do a whole songfic on their toxic relationship tho---
Chapter Text
Hanma: Oh I love it and I hate it at the same time,
Kisaki: You and I drinking poison from the same vine
Chapter 45: dang
Chapter Text
Kisaki: Last night I told ya, I loved ya,
Hanma: You woke up, blamed it on the vodka-
Chapter 46: eh heh T-T
Chapter Text
Kokonoi: *says something rude to me*
Me: Only god can judge me.
Kokonoi: *laughs* ..wait-
Inui: Aren't you an agnostic-
Me: *smirks* Ultimate life hack.
Chapter 47: intrusive thoughts
Chapter Text
Me: ..I could just go apesh*t right now if I wanted to...
Draken: What-
Mikey: ...just don't eat my dorayaki
Chapter 48: Meeting Luna and Manna
Summary:
y'all know the chpter-
Chapter Text
Takemichi: Oh you guys are so cute! How old are you?
Luna: We're not little kids, dumbface.
Manna: Dumbface.
Me: Well Takemitchy, they got you there.
Luna: Brother told us that you threw a chair in school,
Manna: and stabbed someone with a pencil.
Me and Takemichi to Mitsuya: How are you raising them?!
Chapter 49: ik it's july but-
Summary:
i had this idea-
Chapter Text
Me: So y'know how Koko loves StarWars right?
Inui: Yep.
Me: And y'know how he kissed you.
Inui; well duh.
Me: I have an idea and it involves you dressed as Din Djarin.
~~~
Takemichi: Kokonoi just go see.
Inui: *walking out in a rainbow spray painted Mandolorian cosplay* This is the way.
Me: *walking out in Darth Vader with a rainbow under he cloak cosplay* Welcome to the gay side.
Koko: ...wtf-
Chapter 50: i have issues--
Summary:
this happened with me and my friends because im senstive to touch and have anger issues
Chapter Text
Mikey: *tries hugging me* Hi Eddie-
Me: *roundhouse kicks him to the ground punches him in the throat and pins him to the ground with my shoulder on his neck*
Draken: HOLY SH*T!
Me: *realizes it's Mikey and lets go* OH MY GODS! I'M SORRY! ARE YOU OKAY?!
Mikey: *gets up* That hurt.
Mitsuya: *turns to me* Why didn't you tell anyone you could do stuff like that?!
Me: It happens when it happens!
Smiley: That was awesome!
Angry: it was cool.
Me: Are you okay Mikey?
Mikey: *to Draken* I think he might be even stronger than ME Kenchin!
Me: ..I made dorayaki
Mikey: Apology accepted.
Chifuyu: IS no one else questioning HOW he's strong enough to take down MIKEY of all people?!
Chapter 51: ehehhehehehheh
Chapter Text
Takemichi: *looking for Nahoya* Where's my friend, the Smiley?
Angry: *also looking for him* Have you seen Smiley?
Me: *immeadietly covers bed in blankets as they walk in and cups hand over Nahoya's mouth* Ha-haven't seen him...*sweating*
Smiley: *muffled giggles*
Chapter 52: my antincs
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Me: *huffing for air in my room*
Takemichi listening in through the door: *doesn't see Angry anywhere* oh my god...
Takemichi to the rest of Toman: Guys! I think Angry and Eddie are...y'know... *makes s^xual gestures*
Baji: HOLY SH*T!
Chifuyu: Oh god...
SMiley: get some, baby bro!
Mitsuya: I f*cking knew it.
Draken: god, I hope they're quiet.
Mikey: Gosssssiiiiipppppp~~~
~~~
Meanwhile in my room
Angry: Damn, you run fast as f*ck!
Me: *chuckles as I just jumped out the window and ran for a few miles catching a raccoon who stole my chips* Thanks.
Angry: You made me worry that you we're gonna get run over, dumbass!
Me: Sorry! *groans in pain cause now my legs are sore from running*
~~~
Takemichi and everyone on the other side: OH MY GOD-
Notes:
true story btw
Chapter 53: i am so messed up-
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
My thoughts: Oh I'm gonna burn in hell for sure.
Angry and Smiley: *talking about parents*
My thoughts: Here they are talking about their poor dead mother, and I can't stop wishing their hands were unbuttoning my shirt-
Notes:
we actually as far as i know have no info on the kawata parents
Chapter 54: true colorsss--
Chapter Text
Angry: *reaches for a cookie*
SMiley: Careful man, those cookies make you wanna pound a dude.
Me: *eating the cookies*
Chapter 55: i hate him tbh
Chapter Text
Me: *has Takemichi in a headlock* Dont EVER talk about the Kawatas like that again!
Takemichi: *crying but y'all knwo thta one youtube sound* Release me!
Chapter 56: im sorry (not)
Summary:
my nickname in ice skating is Oni because thye say I'm a beast
Chapter Text
Draken: *flirting* Oni ey? Must be an official motto
Me: *heard that wrong* AcTuAlLy, I'm MeXiCaN
Chapter 57: anger issuesssss
Summary:
i love him but he can be sassy
Chapter Text
Koko: And since you can't see, I'm rolling my eyes.
Me: *who lost his glasses because Mikey wnated to try them on* I'll beat your ass, b*tch-
Chapter 58: no im not a simppp[---
Chapter Text
Smiley: *innocently wanting entertainment* Dance for me!!!
Me: Yeah, no.
Smiley: I'll suck your d*ck.
Me: *proceeds to break dance*
Draken: This f*cking simp-
Chapter 59: i have bad memory
Summary:
i am autistic...things add up
Chapter Text
Me: And he told me somethign I will never forget...*thinking about soem crap Kazutora said* He- He said- ...Sh*t I forgot what he said.
Draken: *facepalms*
Chapter 60: VALIDATION!
Chapter Text
Me: Who's the toughest person you know?
Takemichi: Mikey.
Me: ...who's the toughest autistic person you know? *me being the only autistic person he knows*
Takemichi: You're toughest autistic person I know.
Me: HELL YEAH!
Chapter 61: hehehehhehheheh
Summary:
i actually am japanese just not as much as i am mexican and american
Chapter Text
Mikey: *meeting me for the first time* Holy sh*t...
Draken: ...you're not Japanese...
Me: *imaginary sombrero*
Chapter 62: i might be onto something-
Chapter Text
Chifuyu: DOes anyone else have a friend that's so dumb, that they're smart? Cause I can never see it coming but the best part is, neither can they. Like I asked my friend if he can swin across the lake, *gestures towards me* He said 'No' but he would just sink to the bottom and run. ANd that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard but...he might be onto something-
Me: *just happy he thinks I might be onto soemthing*
Chapter 63: baji's poor mom lmao
Chapter Text
Mikey to baji's mom: Can you be my mom?
Baji's mom: yes.
Mikey: *knwoing the whole Toman has parent issues except Baji* Can you adopt my brothers too please?
Baji's mom: *thinking he means ACTUAL brothers* Yes, I can.
Mikey: *to the gang* ALRIGHT BOYS! SHE GONNA ADOPT US!
Me: *has verbally abusive parents* F*CK YEAH!
Chapter 64: anger issues run deep
Chapter Text
Takemichi: *known me since we were young and my anger issues and violent tendencies, is angry* You haven't changed at all!!!!
Me: Yes, congratulations! You are the LAST person to get that. I'm not gonna 'CHANGE'. i don't need your help for 'CHANGING'.
Chapter 65: ehhehheh sh*t
Chapter Text
Takemichi: *trying to get me out of trouble with the cops* He's the nicest guy around!
Police: What about the people he beat up?
Me: What people I beat up? *pushes unconsious man away with foot*
Chapter 66: sorry not sorry
Summary:
legit she has such ebtter parents than me though
Chapter Text
Hinata: *complaining about something her parents wouldn't let her buy* Everyone just lost their minds, drinking bottles doing lines,
Me: *has abusive parents and a lot of PTSD* The world don't revolve around you, girl you're not the only one.
Kko: *also fed up with her sh*t* Thw wolrd don't revolve around you, girl you're not the only one.
Chapter 67: cooking skills<
Chapter Text
Baji: hey...Eddie... I burnt the water-
Me who is surprisingly great at cooking: Baji, How the F*CK did you burn the water?!
Chapter 68: if i was a time leaper
Summary:
i didn't mean to with the first sentence i swear-
Chapter Text
Me: *back from the future* The only memory, is us kissing in the moonlight...
Smiley: *at the time didn't know me* WTF WHO ARE YOU?!?!?
Chapter 69: me talkint to kisaki
Chapter Text
Me: First of all, you're NOTHING but a TRASHY H*E!!
Kisaki: EXCUSE ME?! *shocked af*
Hanma: *dayum*
Chapter 70: please hold me
Summary:
im in the middle of a mental breakdown. I ahte physical touch but I'd let one of the Toman members hug me in this state as long as it's not TAkemichi
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Me: So if you wanna hold me...
Angry: I thought you hated hugs? You almost killed Mikey one time because of it...
Me: *crying now* Please just do.
ANgry: *hugs me tightly*
Notes:
he's a freaking angel i tell you!!
Chapter 71: and????
Chapter Text
Hinata: You're gay?
Me: And you're obvlivious...I've been with 13 guys-hell have you ever ONCE seen me with a woman???
Chapter 72: what iffff
Chapter Text
Me: Ugh, I hate this heat.
Smiley: What if you took off your hoodie?
Me: Yeah, what IFFFF, IF. Not when.
Chapter 73: am i wrong tho-
Chapter Text
Me: Say, "I'm dating someone" and no one bats an eye.
Chifuyu: Well yeah, no one wants to intrude on your personal life because you'll punch them...
Me: Say, "I'm dating a man" and SOCIETY!!!! SOCIETY CALLS ME GAY?!?!?!?
Chifuyu: ...I cannot believe you are opening up to me for once tho-
Chapter 74: that moment-
Summary:
when you're a masculine guy dating another masculine guy-
Chapter Text
Baji: babe,
Me: yeah?
Baji: We...we can't use bros before hoes...
Me: ...holy sh*t...
Baji: we're the bros...but also the hoes...
Me: Oh my gods
Chifuyu: The fact that you guys are just realizing this-
Chapter 75: being antisocial
Summary:
set in the 2017 future
Chapter Text
me at a queer bar but I hate people: This is gay.
Mitsuya: We're gay.
Me: I don't think I'm THIS gay...
Chapter 76: if i me tmy parents
Chapter Text
Mitsuya: What would you do if you met your mom before she met your dad?
Me: Honestly, I'd stomp on that thing until it was nothing but a small stain on the carpet. Same with if I met my dad before he met my mom.
Hakkai: But, then you wouldn't be born.
Me: it'd save a hella lot of trauma, though.
Draken: ...he's not wrong guys-
Chapter 77: sorry but i love it
Chapter Text
Me: The world might forgive you for dating Mikey, but NO ONE will forgive you for that haircut.
Draken: ...you piece of sh-
Chapter 78: im so doneee
Summary:
this can work both ways tho lmao
Chapter Text
Yamagishi: Do you ever think the wind is tryna tell us somethin and we just don't know how to hear it anymore?
Me: *didn't have my coffee yet* I just want you to stop saying odd sh*t.
Chapter 79: legit concern
Chapter Text
Angry: I dreamt about you when I was asleep. I was all old and withered and you were still nice and pretty.
Me: *oncerned* you-you think I'm nice? ...SMILEY!!!! ANGRY GOT DRUGGED-
Chapter 80: i hate when people do this
Summary:
why do they feel entitled to my medical history because I'm an FTM!?!?!?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Hinata finds out I'm trans: So have you had "THE SURGERY" yet???
Me: I will put a gun to my head right now if you ask me that again.
Notes:
it's not a threat it's a promise
Chapter 81: when the RBF kicks in-
Chapter Text
Draken: I love your smile.
Mikey: *gasp* Ah! *Smiles cutely*
~~~
SMiley: You look very handsome today.
Me: Thanks. *menacing glare on accident looking like I want t tear him apart*
Chapter 82: the stars alighned for him
Chapter Text
Me: Kisaki! The stars aligned fro you!
Kisaki: What? What do you mea-
The starts in the sky: *spells out the word "B#tch*
Chapter 83: when i think out loud it's not pretty-
Summary:
i would...ngl..i would...
Chapter Text
My thoughts in my head: And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like-
My thoughts accidentally coming out of my mouth: i'd bang you both-
Smiley: ...
Angry: ...I was not expecting that-
Smiley: we...we just asked if you wanted anything from Walmart-
Chapter 84: i tend to stutter-
Chapter Text
Mitsuya: *inviting me to a pool party* You do swim, right?
Me: I swim, pretty boy.. PRETTY GOOD! I-i-i-I MEANT PRETTY GOOD! yknowhowisaidprettyboyjustnowwellujmyeahimeantprettygoodnotthatyouarentprettyyouareveryprettywhyamisayingthisimeanumyeahiswimgoodhellgreateven....
Mitsuya: ...okay then see you there
Chapter 85: do it kisaki...do it
Chapter Text
Kisaki: Show me a word that rhymes with pavement, and I won't kill your parents.
Me: *not speaking*
Kisaki: Don't you want to save your parents??
Me: Do it, Kisaki. I don't know any words that rhyme with pavement. DO. IT.
Kisaki: ...that's a first
Chapter 86: never had truer friends
Chapter Text
Hinata: And then Eddie told me to shut up because he didn't have his coffee yet! ANd then-
Kokonoi: *done with her* Y'know what, Hinata? I don't care if Eddie murdered his entire family!
Me: ...this is why we're friends-
Chapter 87: how i found out im bi
Summary:
legit though it sounds stupid but anime lowkey influenced me a bit
Chapter Text
Me: Stop making me have gay thoughts, Nahoya. I look at you and I feel weird. I feel...strange...it makes me wanna do things-
Smiley: *surprised about the sudden oversharing* Okay then...
Chapter 88: descibing me when you have bad grammer
Chapter Text
Smiley: *describing me* Wears baggy clothes. Doesn't get sleep. *bad grammar moment* (I call him a nerd sometimes) In a nerd.
Takemichi: *took that s*xually* What-
Angry: Is he going to get out anytime soon?
SMiley: *tries saying i like indoors* Stays inside.
Takemichi: HE STAYS INSIDE THE NERD?!
Me: *walks into the room* What are you guys talking about?
ANgry: Don't you call Smiley a nerd sometimes?
Me: Yeah, why?
Takemichi and ANgry: *exchange disturbed glances*
Chapter 89: baji think with ur brain pls
Summary:
i feel like he would have a hard time learning the concept of being neurodivergent , he'd be s supportive though
Chapter Text
Baji: YOu're not autistic you're just a little silly! And you punch people when they touch you, put your backpack in the sink so you can remember it and get so attached to fictional characters that you cry because they aren't real and you wish they could be your friend because you need someone like that in your life to help you deal with emotional trauma...but that's unrelated!
Me: ...so the concept of being neurogivergent was created in-
Chapter 90: trauma jokes
Chapter Text
Chifuyu: What was a rule your family followed as a kid?
Baji: treat people the way you want to be treated.
Me: *starts cackling*
Mitsuya: Are you okay? Why are you laughing?
Me: *still dying laughing* HELL! IF MY PARENTS FOLLOWED THAT RULE INSTEAD OF ONLY TELLING IT T ME AND MY SIBLINGS-- *laughing fit* I COULD'VE HAD HEALTHY MENTAL HEALTH AND A GOOD FEELING OF SELF-WORTH!
Mitsuya: ...want me to make you some food?
Me: *voice breaking as if tears on the verge* yes, please.
Chapter 91: meeting takemichi's gf
Summary:
according to the girls i ahve faught in the past I am "Not sexist, just and @sshole to everyone."
Chapter Text
Takemichi: This is my girlfriend, Hina.
Hinata: Hi!
Takemichi: She's really smart!
Me: Okay. Good for her.
Hinata: Wait...weren't you kissing a boy yesterday on school grounds? I'm going to need to report you!
Me: I thought you said she was smart, Takemichi?
Takemichi: What do you mean...
Me: She should be smart enough to know that I will fight girls.
Hinata: *gasp* But I'm a girl you can't do that-
Me: Men aren't stronger than women. Women can fight men and men can fight women as long as it doesn't get out of control. Women are strong. Men are strong. Everyone in between is strong. I don't get what the problem is. I'm not cis either if that makes you feel better.
Hinata: it's rude!
Smiley: *appearing out of nowhere behind me with his chin laying on my shoulder* Eddie here is an equal oppurtunity asshole.
Hinata: You! That's the boy Eddie was kissing yesterday!
Me: I will break your neck if you say that again...
Takemichi: LET'S GO HINA! I DON'T THINK EDDIE IS IN THE BEST MOOD RIGHT NOW-
Chapter 92: wuttt
Chapter Text
Yamagishi: Step on a crack, break your mama's back!
Me: *steps on as many cracks as I can find*
Takemichi: *horrified*
Yamagishi: Step on a line, break your dad's spine!
Me: *steps on as many lines as I can find*
Takemichi to Yamagishi: STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS!
Chapter 93: not what i said-
Chapter Text
SMileY: We're going to a candy store?
Me: No, it's nighttime. Candy stores are closed.
ANgry: *panicking* we're going to ROB a candy store?!
SMiley: *gasps excitedly*
Me: NO!
Chapter 94: long stroy short-
Summary:
i have a nickname as 'the ostrich' because im tall and aggressive and fast
THANK GODS PEOPLE DONT USE IT ANYMORE THO-
Chapter Text
Kisaki: *saying some sh*t*
Me: *eye twitches* You just triggred my fight or flight response. *glare* And I am a flightless bird.
Chapter 95: call the police-
Chapter Text
Takemichi: Eduardo, guess who's here?
Me: *eyes light up* Smiley!
Takemichi: No, your boyfriend.
Me: SMiley is my boyfriend, call the police.
Hanma: *smirking* Your EX-boyfriend right here.
Me: *sees hanma* I'll call the police.
Chapter 96: i ship them sm omg
Summary:
hakkai x mitsuya for life
Chapter Text
Me: Reasons why my two single friends would never fight over a girl!
Mitsuya: This is my type, *proceeds to show pictures of female models and bad asses*
Hakkai: And this is mine-*shows a picture of Mitsuya*
Chapter 97: he aays knows
Summary:
when im in my room its becaus ei want to be alone
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Me: I just need some-
Mitsuya: Space?
Me: *nods*
~~~
Me: *yelling at Takemichi* I JUST NEED SOME-
Mitsuya: Space.
~~~
Me: *breaking down* I need space but I need-
Mitsuya: Love?
Me: *nods* Claustrophobic in my head, hoping that you'll never see it on my face.
Mitsuya: It's okay.
Me: put together on the outside, on the inside I'm a bout to-
Mitsuya: Break?
Me: Yeah.
Mitsuya: *hugs me*
Notes:
he would always understand
Chapter 98: dont u dare-
Chapter Text
Takemichi introducing me to the Kawata twins: Yeah, Eddie here likes to read Boys Lo-
Me: I beg you don't embarrass me, little f*cker.
Chapter 99: too late
Summary:
i legit wanna make an etsy but i doubt i will srry
Chapter Text
Angry: Eddie? Don't turn us into graphic designs on T-shirts and hoodies.
Me: *already making them for myself because I can never find Kawata Twins merch and they're my favorite characters*
Smiley: EDDIE!
Chapter 100: had tooo
Summary:
happy 100th chapter of this bull!
Chapter Text
Kisaki: Cry about this and whine about that. When you grow a pair, you can call me back.
Hanma: Yeah, I think your hot-
Chapter 101: im a cosplayer btw
Summary:
don't have any socials yet but will soon!
Chapter Text
Inui: Eddie,
Me: ...yes?
Inui: Why are there more cosplays in the mail, under my card, when you have 6 you haven't worn yet?
Me:...Okay, you got me there...But that is not a crime-
Chapter 102: ...trauma
Chapter Text
Draken: *trying to motivate everyone* Every struggle you've dealt with in your life has shaped you into what you are today.
Me: I'm a knife. A broken one that still somehow works an everyone wants to know how the hell it still works.
Chapter 103: them talking to me irl
Chapter Text
Me: Angryyyyyyyy....I'm so sleepy.....
Angry: Then stop posting on this fanfic at 2 am.
Me: ...that's a good joke Angry-
Chapter 104: then sleep
Chapter Text
Me:I'm tired.
Kokonoi: Then sleep.
Me: ...no
Chapter 105: mikey yeah no-
Summary:
why do i feel like he sends the most gremlin ass sh*t tho-
Chapter Text
Mikey: Eddie, why don't you watch the videos I send you?
Me: Idk, i just don't have time.
~~~
The videos he sends: "You watch Skibidi, and then you had nowhere to edge!" "I could've started mewing!" "No! If Gunatar's friends didn't edge you, you would've gotten the Skibidi Syndrome!" "I know my own mewing streak, uncle." "Is it your own mewing streak?"
Chapter 106: something cute n sweet
Chapter Text
Child Smiley: Did we get rich?
Smiley now: Yep!
Angry now: *nods*
Child Angry: Where's all the money, then?
Kawata twins now posing with the gang: Who said anything about money?
Chapter 107: die...die...die
Chapter Text
Hanma: Y'know Boku No Pico wasn't that bad.
Me: ehheh,heh,heheh,hah *awkward and dry laughter as I grab Akkun's pocket knife*
Chapter 108: my ramblings
Chapter Text
Me: Did you know that L had 2 other successors before Near and Mello? The first successor was known as A, A killed himself because-
Chifuyu: He couldn't handle the pressure of being L's successor.
Me: The second one was BB, short for,
Chifuyu: Beyond Birthday.
Me: BB became a serial killer and died from a mysterious heart attack in prison.
Chifuyu: Rumored to be caused by Light's Death Note.
Mitsuya: guys...I don't watch or read Death Note you don't have to tell me this.
Chifuyu and me: We know.
Chapter 109: my lifeee
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Draken: For the last time, Takemitchy, when Eddie is around, we DON'T hit the Spanish button.
Takemichi: I'm gonna hit the button.
Draken: NO! I SAID NOT TO FOR A REA-
Takemichi: *pushes button*
Me: El Diablo no quire usar pantalones en mi casa y no se porque!
Smiley: *smirking, knowing he's "El Diablo"*
Baji: Tf did he sayy????
Notes:
translation: The devil doesn't want to wear pants in my house and I don't know why
Chapter 110: can you tell Baji was hungry?
Summary:
i love how Mikey just casually says that Baji sets cars on fire when he's hungry though the exact dialogue in the manga is
"And if he's hungry, he'll pour gasoline all over a car and set it on fire"
Chapter Text
Me: Okay what does A stand for?
Baji: Arson.
Me: ...okay then, what does B stand for?
Baji: Barson.
Me: *sighs* What stands for C?
Baji: Commit Arson.
Me: D.
Baji: *inhales* DON'T Come Near me... I'm GOING TO COMMIT ARSON.
Chifuyu: ...I just hope he learns his letters-
Draken: I'm gonna go warn everyone nearest to here that they need to hide their cars right now.
Kazutora: I'll get food.
Chapter 111: never mess with bajis food
Chapter Text
Me: *takes some of Baji's chips*
Baji: *cutely whines* Stop taking my chips!
Me: *chuckles*
Baji: *now holding a gallon of gas and my car keys* Stop taking my chips okay?!
Me: *knows he's dead serious* OKAY!
Chapter 112: that got dark-
Chapter Text
Mitsuya: *trying to calm me down* I live inside my own world of make believe. What's yours like?
Me: Kids screaming in their cradles.
Mitsuya: *knowing this is cause of familial trauma* Profanities?
Me: *nods*
Chapter 113: god it gets wirse-
Chapter Text
Mitsuya: *trying to calm me after a breakdown* I love everything,
Me: Fire's spreading all around my room.
Mitsuya: *trying to twist it to make that sound happy* My world's so bright.
Me: *has a disorder where my brain forgets to move muscles so I can breathe* It's hard to breathe.
Mitsuya: *trying to calm me so I can breath* But that's all right.
Chapter 114: thank god-
Chapter Text
Kisaki: *walks by*
me: *ready for a fight* Thank god I have to smack a b*tch today!
Chifuyu: *holding me back, slightly annoyed at how quickly I almost started a fight* Oh my f*king god!
Smiley: *cheering me on* Smack a b*tch today!
Chapter 115: my fav song rn
Chapter Text
Takemichi: So...Angry, what are your hobbies?
Angry: Well I like to-
Me: *singing along to the song blasting in my headphones I'm wearing* EAT SPIT! GET D*CKED WITH THE LIGHTS ON! WITH THE LIGHTS ON!
Angry: *blushes*
Smiley: *laughing his ass off* Looks like Eddie summarized what you two do in your freetime!
Angry: GAH! NO!
Me: *still doesn't know what's happening and is just singing along to my headphones: EAT SPIT GET D*CKED WITH THE LIGHTS ON? FOR REAL?
Smiley: *on the floor wheezing*
Angry: ....*awkward chuckling as he slowly turns off my headphones*
Chapter 116: taking things literally
Chapter Text
Mikey: *laughing* You talk like a therapist sometimes, Eddie!
Me: *dead serious not knowing he was joking* I'd make a horrible therapist.
Chapter 117: mistakes were made-
Chapter Text
Me seeing Kazutora for the first time: Oh my god, look at that face! You look like...my next mistake.
Kazutora: Love's a game, wanna play~?
The entire Toman gang knowing Kazutora's mental state: Oh no-
Chapter 118: my banter is getting places thta it shouldn't-
Chapter Text
Me: *just playin'* You're uglyyyyyyy
Yamagishi: I know.
Me: ...wait a goddamn minute... you weren't supposed to agree with that. Are you okay?
Yamagishi: No...
Me: ..oh sh*t-
Chapter 119: meeting me is intense
Chapter Text
Hakkai: Stop looking at me with those eyes.
Me: *legit asking* What eyes?
My eyes:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CollectiveDeathGlare
or look up Killua death glare
Chapter 120: ...they legit would
Chapter Text
Kisaki: I'm kidnapping you. It'll mess with your parents which will mess up Toman.
Me: *knows it sure as hell won't mess up parents or Toman* Oh no.
Kisaki: The bail is $200,000.
Me: *dies of laughter*
Kisaki: WTF IS SO FUNNY?!
Me: *legit crying of laughter* Y-y-you REALLY think my parents would pay that much to get me back?! HELL, they would pay you that much to KEEP me!
Kisaki: ..what do you mean?
Me: It means I'm gonna unleash HELL into your life.
Chapter 121: poof mikey
Chapter Text
Mikey: Eddie!!! Can we go to McDonald's?
Me: ...if you can SPELL McDonald's, we can go.
Mikey: *blank stare for a while* ...let's go to KFC-
Chapter 122: why?!??!?!
Summary:
Juzo from Tokyo Ghoul>>>> any other TG character
Chapter Text
Me: ...what's wrong?
Mikey: You REALLY like this Juzo guy.
Me: Look at him though! he's adorable!
Draken: Look at him? I can't NOT look at him!
Mitsuya: ..you have posters of him, I swear to god that's a stuffed animal of him, a freaking life-sized cutout and..is that...is that a body pillow?
Me: No it's not! *yeets bodypillow*
Chapter 123: dr.draken
Chapter Text
Draken: In case you didn't know, anger weakens your liver, grief weakens your lungs, worry weakens your stomach, fear weakens your kidneys, and and stress weakens your heart and brain.
Me: ...so I'm dying?
Chapter 124: im a menace
Chapter Text
Me: Don't you have somewhere to be?
Kisaki: No. Where would I be?
Me: Under my car, dead.
Chapter 125: my moments
Chapter Text
Smiley: *making a TikTok with me* Repeat after me.
Me: *making TikTok with him* Okay.
Smiley: Crispy, juicy, tender,
Me: *forgetting the words and improvising* I'm a mentally ill transgender,
Angry: *the camera man* ...A for effort
Smiley: *trying to not laugh his ass off*
Chapter 126: nothing like a good cup of degration
Chapter Text
Me: For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me. That I was the black sheep and I needed to change my personality. And after a lot of time and consideration, I realized who I was.
Hakkai: *trying to be supportive* And what's that?
Me: I'm a piece of sh*t.
Chapter 127: difficutls
Summary:
this is from The Saiki. K dub
Chapter Text
Hinata: Just spend some time if he stops by okay?
Me: But being nice is so hard-
Chapter 128: shut it
Chapter Text
Kisaki: *starts talking about his plans*
Me: *who already forgot his name* Shut it TOM! I only shook your hand cause I had to! We will NEVER be friends!
Chapter 129: Y'all know that moment in Saiki K?
Chapter Text
Takemichi: Let's survive this together!
Me: I hope you die.
Chapter 130: Y'all know that moment in Saiki K?
Chapter Text
Takemichi: He's the happiest boy alive! That boy can have anything and do anything!
Me; Well that's DEAD WRONG. I'm the unhappiest boy alive, a boy who has nothing!
Chapter 131: thats for him
Chapter Text
Me: *pointing at sign that says 'be quiet'* See that sign, Takemitchy? It's for you. They're telling you to stop yapping, no one cares about your relationship here. We're all gay for Pete's sake!
Takemichi: *cries*
Kokonoi: ...Is Eddie wrong tho-
Chapter 132: i no likey
Chapter Text
Takemichi: If I hugged you would you hug back?
Me: Bold of you to assume I'd ever be in hugging range or anyone.
Smiley: Takemitchy, bold of you to assume Eddie wouldn't punch you on the spot!
Angry: *nods*
Chapter 133: simps unite
Chapter Text
Draken: *reading questions from Toman Q&A* Who is the biggest simp for Tokyo Ghoul characters?
Mikey: Eddie.
Takemichi: Eddie.
Angry: Eddie.
Smiley: Eddie.
Chifuyu: Eddie.
Baji: Eddie.
Mitsuya: Eddie.
Me: It's me! Hi! I'm the problem it's me!
Draken: Everybody agrees.
Chapter 134: >///< nothing!
Chapter Text
Mitsuya:, *knocking on my door at 1 am* What are you watching? i hear the TV.
Me: NOTHING!
My TV: *announcing* TOP 10 GAYEST MOMENTS IN SASAKI TO MIYANO!
Me: SH*T!
Mitsuya: *laughing*
Chapter 135: Y'know that moment in Toy Story
Chapter Text
Kisaki: I believe the word you're searching for is 'SAVIOR OF TOMAN'
Me: The word I'm searching for... I cannot say because Smiley doesn't like people cussing in front of Angry!
Chapter 136: based on a real conversation
Chapter Text
me: Guys!
Draken; Yeah?
Me: And y'know how I simp for so many characters that it's not healthy?
Mikey: Yep.
Me: Imma start Death Note. It's all about murder and it's dark af so how could I fall in love with a fictional character?
Takemichi: That's a surprisingly good idea, Eddie.
Me: Thanks!
__ONE WEEK LATER AFTER READING THE FIRST 10 BOOKS OF DEATH NOTE__
Draken: You bought an L bodypillow?
Me: I bought a f*cking L bodypillow.
Chapter 137: crying
Chapter Text
Baji: *having a hella good time before chapter 61* And for freedom and for pleasure!
Takemichi: *knows his fate* Nothing ever lasts for ever
Chapter 138: they would have to suffer through this hell of mine
Chapter Text
Me: *talking about L and Light from Death Note* I want 2 boyfriends! And I want the boyfriends to be boyfriends! And I want to be their boyfriend! And I want the boyfriends to take me out on little boyfriend dates where we're all boyfriends!
Mitsuya: you take gay to another level and I have to respect it
Chapter 139: the hot tub
Chapter Text
Me: *blogging* Just me, Hakkai, and Mitsuya in a hot tub! Sitting 5 feet apart from each other since no one wants to say that they're gay!
Hakkai: *tries to block camera*
Mitsuya: *chuckles a bit*
Chapter 140: 1985
Chapter Text
Mikey: If I could be anyone, dead or alive?
Me: *Mexican* I'd want to be a white guy in 1985.
Emma: *American so doesn't get my drift* White guy? 1985?
Draken:*gets what I'm trying to say* White guy. 1985.
Chapter 141: had toooooooooo
Chapter Text
Me: Why can't you just be normal?
Takemichi: *cries*
Chapter 142: ehehehhehehhhehhehhhhhhh
Chapter Text
Kisaki: I miss the girl you were.
Me: I gutted that b*tch from the inside out.
Chapter 143: inferno
Chapter Text
Hanma: *just being Hanma*
Me: Baby you're the reason why hell's so hot-
Chapter 144: traumaaaa
Summary:
TW: Mentions of self-harm caused by overstilulation
Chapter Text
Kisaki: Are you REALLY going to keep wearing that short wig everywhere because your mom won't let you cut your hair and you get a 'horrible feeling' when your hair touches your neck and scratch it almost raw?
Me: yes. and? Say that sh^t with your chest
Chapter 145: they're all so supportive it makes me so happy-
Summary:
TW: Mentions of self-harm
Chapter Text
Me: *making suicide and self harm jokes*
Takemichi: *doesn't get it so laughs*
Mikey: Show us your arms Eddie.
Me: ..I-I don't want to-
Draken: *pulls my hoodie sleeve up*
Baji: Sh^t.. *hugs me*
Me: I...i forgot what human warmth felt like until now, Baji...
Chifuyu: *sad look as he goes in for the hug too*
Chapter 146: my irl friends got their work cut out for them
Chapter Text
My friend: *showing pictures of Hanma, Kazutora, and Bonten Mikey* What's this? *expecting me to say 'red flags'*
Me: Smash.
My friend: NO-
Chapter 147: the realization of sadness
Chapter Text
Draken: What did people do to you that made you act this way?
Me: *counting with fingers* Break my legs, hurt me bad, make me cry...*realizing* ...I'm so sad...
Chapter 148: real thoo
Chapter Text
Kokonoi: I don't have anxiety.
Inupi: Really? What do you have then?
Kokonoi: Bonus feelings.