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The true forms of archangels are unfathomable and horrifying, the image burning not only the eyes of men but their bodies and minds, leaving behind only ashes. There are only a select few who can look upon them without meeting death in seconds. It's an honor, or a curse, relegated to their vessels.
On the fall into the Cage, Sam and Lucifer are separated.
And the Cage is… not what Sam expected. It's mostly cramped. He elbows Adam, now archangel-less himself, in the ribs trying to make room. Adam kicks him for it. He won't stop glaring at Sam, which Sam thinks is pretty unfair given how he just wrestled the devil himself into submission and sacrificed himself to save the world.
Though, he guesses he did also sort of sacrifice Adam as well.
On second thought, Adam probably has every right to kick him.
Sam cranes his neck around looking for said archangels. Doubtless, they'll descend soon. Who knows what kind of tortures they can come up with? This is starting to seem less and less like a good idea, especially now that Adam has his bearings and is most definitely aiming his kicks at Sam's crotch. Sam takes a note from Dean that he never thought he'd get to use himself and shoves Adam under one arm to keep him still. He doesn't even noogie him because Sam is more mature than Dean is. Adam tries to bite him.
"Stop it. We need to-" He's going to say hide, but there is nowhere to hide. The Cage is incredibly small.
He was pretty sure Archangels were supposed to be massive, weren't they? How did Lucifer fit in here?
…Where was Lucifer?
Sam looks around, and around again, and it's only when he hears an odd squeaking noise at his feet that he thinks to look down.
He beholds, finally, the true, awe-inspiring, fearsome form of the archangels.
"Oh my God," Sam says, with the voice of a man who has lost everything. "They're Furbies."
"What the fuck is a Furbies?" Adam says from under Sam's arm before he takes advantage of Sam's shellshocked state to wriggle away and start hitting him again.
The archangels, which are, now, squat, furry, round creatures with ears and eyes too large for their… heads? Bodies? Are aggressively clacking their mouths-beaks-somethings at each other. Sam is coming to understand the true meaning of Hell as he watches the two being who would have burned the universe wiggle at each other with malice and curse in nonsense phrases. Apparently, that's what Enochian sounds like, properly pronounced. No wonder none of their spells ever worked.
"This couldn't get worse," Sam groans. It's the one thing no one should ever say in Hell, because the universe takes that as a challenge.
The Furby archangels wiggle closer together. Sam stares as the bigger one—the one he's assuming is Michael?—pecks and lurches at the Lucifer Furby as it squawks back at him.
And then it pushes the Lucifer Furby over.
"Please don't be doing what I think you're doing," Sam says under his breath in horror. Adam stops hitting him to stare as well. He does not look half as horrified as Sam thinks he should, and as a matter of fact, he's going to stop looking at Adam's expression and whatever it's doing when the Michael Furby-
Well, when it-
"Wow," Adam says, "those dicks are really disproportionate."
Sam is not checking, Sam is not checking, Sam is not-
He regrets everything he's ever done in his entire life that led him up to this point, but yeah, Adam's right. Lucifer's Furby dick is the same size as his entire body. Which really calls into question how he's fitting-
Sam is not thinking about it.
Sam is going to stand, right here, as still as he possibly can, and ignore the squeaking and slapping noises happening at their feet, and when Dean inevitably gets him out of Hell—because right now, Sam is really hoping his brother forgets his promise and ditches his chance at a fresh start for him—he's going to tell Dean that he was tortured.
"They must have a lot of stamina," Adam says. Sam is also going to tell Dean that Adam died in the Cage, because he's definitely not going to tell Dean about Adam getting down on the floor to get a better look.
The Lucifer Furby starts singing. Something sticky lands on Sam's shoe. For a moment, there's a blessed stillness. And then the fucking starts again.