Archive of Our Own

1.

Oscar was always a man of routines. At least ever since he moved to America.

His morning rituals were so repetitive, he had them perfectly timed by now, after years upon years of completing the exact same steps every day. He always found time to go on a run at least three times a week, he called his parents every day at six P.M. sharp. On Mondays and Tuesdays he would walk to school with Fred, while Logan took a short route to school, the lazy sucker. The rest of the week, however, Logan would have had enough of their complaining to give in and take the longer route, and drive them. He had classes he would always pay attention in, and those he knew he could just nap through. On Wednesdays and Fridays he would sit with Lando and the others for lunch, while on the rest of the weekdays he sat with Logan, Arthur, and Fred instead. He had designated study time, and designated volleyball time, and designated everything-time. Everything in his life worked like a Swiss watch. That is to say that everything he did was so meticulously planned that they always went off without a hitch. Perfectly.

Or well, it used to, up to this point.

He graduated. All of those years of built-up routines were erased, just like that. The thought of going into something fully unknown to him (university, in that case) terrified Oscar terribly. And well, he had experiences he would love to keep to himself, thank you very much, that supported that feeling. Changing his environment again felt impossible. He didn’t have a game plan, he couldn’t predict what the future had waiting for him. For now, all he could be certain of was the fact that he did – thank god – get into uni. At least. Find positivity in the smallest of things, right?  He did get on to the Stanford Volleyball team, and he wouldn’t be completely alone there, as most of his friends chose that same school. It did make him feel a bit better, though he was still upset about not being in control of things any more again . His routines being ruined was definitely one of the things he hated the most about graduating. Right next to the crippling fear of growing up and upcoming responsibilities.

Thankfully, there was always his favourite of all of his routines. Summer camp. Well, it wasn’t really his routine. He kind of stole it from Charles and Max, they were the first to set it within their friend group, But after three consecutive years of going there, he could as well call it his.

Max and Charles, as mentioned earlier, were the first two to ever go there. They didn’t really have any plans for summer, and Charles heard from Pierre that a summer camp happening not that far from their town was looking for counsellors. It was kind of a no-brainer for them to go there. And thank god they did. Next year they practically forced George, Alex, and Lando to come with them. After many complaints – mostly on Lando’s side – it created a little tradition for the five of them. Each summer, they always dedicated a fraction of their free time to make sure it would always work out for all of them to be there, no matter what. Even at the cost of going there with a broken arm once for Alex. They were dedicated, what is there to be said. At least the kids had a blast with signing and drawing on his cast.

It used to be the five of them, before Oscar came into the picture. He met with Lando, who was a year above him, right when he transferred to their school in California, when Lando was the student assigned to show him around. Somehow, he wasn’t put off by Oscar’s awkward demeanour and overall quietness. During the year, they grew closer, to a point where Oscar would comfortably call them friends. Something that felt so… alien, to him. He met Lando’s friend group, and, considering the fact they were the ‘it kids’ of their school, they were the most fun and simultaneously the kindest people he had ever met. He felt like he belonged with them. The concrete proof for him that he was in fact a part of their friend group, and not just the weird guy Lando dragged along everywhere (even if Alex told him he was an idiot for not realizing he was a friend to them earlier), was when the person that invited him to go to the camp with them was Charles. Not Lando. 

It turned out later that Lando, being his usual self, simply didn’t realize that the invitation to summer camp counselling does not come automatically with being friends with them. That Oscar had no way of even knowing that it was their thing. Otherwise, he would have probably beat Charles to it. Nonetheless, he didn’t really have any choice, not after Charles’ puppy eyes. Before he realized, he spent the best two weeks of his life with them, and he already couldn’t wait for the next year when they could do it again. If someone told Oscar a year earlier that he would call the weeks spent taking care of way-too-energetic kids the best moments of his life, he would call them insane. But with each year at camp that passed, he only grew more certain of it.

There was no better routine than being a Summer Camp counsellor with his friends.

He could forget about everything now. He didn’t have to think about the crushing weight of responsibilities that awaited him back home. How much closer he was to leading a responsible adult life. He didn’t have to think about how hard it is to balance the upcoming perks of adulthood with moments that were supposed to become his peak teenage memories. He didn’t have to focus on being able to have fun and be a teenager, while also handling growing up into a full-blown adult. Because with his friends with him, it felt natural to find that perfect balance. It felt natural to just not worry. Even though the camp wasn’t far away from their house, it still felt like a whole new world for him. It was easy to leave his worries buried under the sheets of his bed in a crappy flat he shared with Logan.

Or, well, it would feel natural and easy if only Lando would finally grace them with his presence. Max and Charles, as the eldest of the bunch, were discussing the possible weather-caused (and Lando-caused) delays with the bus driver, while Alex and George were being painfully sweet with each other, something which Oscar was not interested in participating in. However, if he had to endure a few more minutes of leaning against the disgustingly yellow bus, surrounded by a group of much too loud kids, the insecurities, and worries might just start creeping back into his brain. He spent enough time pushing them back for the time of the camp, he didn’t need them to come back now, thank you very much.

Lando on the other hand was having the time of his life while also taking his sweet sweet time to get to the meeting spot. Was he aware he was already late? Yes, of course he was. Was he also more interested in blasting Taylor Swift and singing along terribly? Yes, duh? Not his fault, 1989 (Taylor’s Version) came out last night! The lyrics to ‘from the vault’ tracks wouldn’t memorise themselves.

It’s not like he wasn’t worried. Of course, he was. If there was one thing about Lando Norris, it was that 99% of the time, he was worried about something. 

At least he was already through the awful summer before his first year of University. He felt for Oscar, now. He remembered how terrible he felt. Hell, he is sure Oscar remembers how terrible Lando felt. The Australian was, at the end of the day, his calm in the storm. He truly has no idea what he would do without Oscar’s support last summer. No matter how different everything felt, and how everything changed without him being able to stop it even for a moment, he could always count on Oscar being up to go out on a walk, watch a crappy film, or sit on the pavement while eating ice-cream. 

Contrary to people’s expectations, Oscar, the routine-freak, would then always choose the most funky looking flavour available, always a different one. Lando himself would never betray strawberries. He wasn’t a man of routines. No, that was Oscar’s thing. He much preferred being spontaneous. Nonetheless, he loved his two routines. 

Strawberry ice cream and Oscar Piastri.

It was terrifying how Oscar’s presence became a routine for him. A routine he was always seeking, craving. Oscar simply made him feel in a way no one else ever did. He wasn’t sure what exactly he would call those feelings yet. He was barely aware of them – well, not barely. For like a year; ever since he stopped being able to see Oscar every day, ever since he realised he missed Oscar like crazy because they hadn’t seen each other for a mere week . Still, it did feel like he barely realised there were any feelings, considering that, after he thought about it for a moment (months) he came to the conclusion that they were always there, and that he was just too stupid and blind to see them.

Nonetheless, he didn’t want to give them a name now. He was no expert in the romance department. And he couldn’t just ask his friends how gay on a scale of one to ten; fighting the urge to kiss his stupid, sleepy koala personified, friend every time he looked at him, was. All of his friends were gay, they would definitely tell him he has a crush, and he should do something about it, blah, blah, blah. In his opinion, and to his defence, how could you look at Oscar without having to fight the urge to kiss him? It wasn’t gay of him, he didn’t have a crush. It was all normal. There were always girls who were into Oscar at camp, and that certainly wouldn’t change this year. He just had to, somewhat, back off. Oscar wasn’t his, so why would Lando act like he was? Why would he give himself hope, when wanting Oscar could never be enough? 

He simply had to act like he always did and everything would be just okay. At least that's what he tried to tell himself. 

But the closer he got to their meeting point, he realised that the real challenge of this year’s camp – much to his dismay – would be not giving in to the urge of kissing Oscar till they both couldn’t breathe. He much preferred the years when the biggest challenge was to not scream into Alex’s or George’s face about how obvious they are (he ended up doing it), or when he took it upon himself to teach Oscar how to make bracelets (he failed, but the time spent with Oscar one on one was his and no one would ever take it away from him). Acting like he wasn't absolutely, desperately and irrevocably in love with Oscar Piastri didn’t seem like a fun challenge to Lando. And the fact he had a record of failing the big-camp-challenges set in his brain didn’t calm him down at all. 

Maybe he was free of his worries about ending one stage of his life and starting another, but the worries in the form of his best friend (and crush) were approaching him faster and faster. Or well, he was approaching them faster and faster, as he could already see how annoyed Oscar was by his stance. He did this thing when he crossed his left arm and tapped with his fingers on his right elbow, while chewing the bottom right corner of the inside of his lip. Lando had no interest in focusing on how he probably shouldn’t be that good at reading Oscar, and instead busied himself with doing something to change it for the better.

“Osc!”

Oh yeah, that. Probably the biggest reason, he realised that what he felt towards Oscar was maybe a tad different to what he felt towards the rest of his friends. When he started calling Alex 'Albono’, and everyone caught up on that, he was fine with it. It became their thing. But when he started calling Oscar ‘Osc’, and everyone else caught up on that too, he was fuming. Realising he couldn’t simply have a nickname for Oscar that was only his should not have made him as upset as it did. As jealous as it did.

“Lando!” Oscar exclaimed, his face brightening immediately. He stepped away from the bus, without a thought going through his head, tackling Lando into a hug. Lando barely managed to catch his suitcase in time for it to not fall, while also stumbling behind slightly. He totally did not find the difference in strength between them hot. He didn’t. His heart totally didn’t melt at the realisation that Oscar, who wasn’t that much of a touchy person, felt the need to attack him with a hug as a welcome. It didn’t. “So kind of you to finally arrive, mate”

“Okay, tone down the sass young man” Lando chuckled softly, not getting a reaction out of Oscar, besides an offended huff and Oscar turning away, already walking to the bus. They didn’t talk more before getting inside – Oscar took care of tucking Lando’s suitcase in, while Lando got told off by Max for being late again (as if he wasn’t late all years before and wouldn’t be late for all years to come).

The bus ride wasn’t anything unique either. Lando had no idea what he expected, but it went similar to the years before. He sat at the front, as all counsellors did, and Oscar took the seat next to him – always Lando by the window, and Oscar by the exit. In case of kids being too loud, it was Oscar who had more authority with calming them down. Almost like they knew Lando actually didn’t care. And, Oscar had a way of being intimidating. ( It wasn’t hot it wasn’t hot it wasn’t hot. His two-tone deeper voice when he was serious was not hot. Nope. Nu huh.) After at least five – Lando lost count at the second one – trips that Oscar had to take to the back of the bus, each one concluded by Oscar with a “I’m so glad none of you have kids of your own”, it seems like they had got the memo and shut up. Thank god . Lando would finally have the opportunity to chat with Oscar! He just had to scroll through Instagram for a few minutes more, he couldn’t put down his phone right when Oscar sat down. That would be desperate, and he didn’t want to look desperate. Even if it meant rewatching the same Instagram reel over and over again, as the internet connection failed him in that crucial moment. Just a few minutes, then he could have Oscar all to himself for at least an hour more of the ride. He could spend those few minutes of mindlessly staring at his screen at coming up with ways to start the conversation to interest Oscar, but also appear nonchalant.

He almost had it. He was almost sure what he could say. He was just about to turn off his phone and put all the yapping skills he learnt while spending time with Carlos to good use. Just. But then, of course, Oscar really had to put the ‘sleepy’ in ‘sleepy koala personified’, as Lando felt a sudden weight fall onto his shoulder. A quick glance was enough to confirm it – Oscar, the stupid muppet, had fallen asleep on him. Typical. And he had the damned audacity to look so adorable, while he was at it. How dare he.

The remaining hour of their journey was probably the longest one Lando had endured in his entire life. Looking out of the window became boring after just a few minutes, and his internet connection still sucked. He could, in theory, chat with his friends, or even the bus driver if he was desperate enough. But he hated the thought of waking Oscar up. So, all he was left with, was sitting there without moving just for a bit, while his back and shoulder became more and more sore. Oscar owed him a good massage after that. He decided to completely ignore the burning he felt in his cheeks at the thought of Oscar giving him a massage. Though, he had to admit, chasing that idea away did occupy him for some time. Better this than nothing, right?

Still, Lando couldn’t be more glad when the bus had finally stopped. The not-so-gentle parking method of the driver seemed to be enough to wake up Oscar, who looked even more adorable now, yawning quietly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, probably to get himself running faster. It was always a miracle to Lando, how Oscar could sleep for any given amount of time and wake up rested like a newborn baby, only to become tired fifteen minutes later. He of course knew that because Oscar slept so much. Not because he paid extra attention to every little quirk the Australian had. Ridiculous idea, really.

“Oh, Lando. Sorry” Oscar offered him a fond smile, and any initial annoyance Lando had about being all cranky and sore, was now gone. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“No worries, man. You can carry my suitcase, and we will be all good.”

Lando didn’t expect Oscar to take this seriously. He left his suitcase by the bus, intending to just take care of it later, as he had a more important mission to complete now than something as trivial as taking care of his luggage. Get coffee. Not for himself, no. It’s not like he didn’t like coffee – he quite enjoyed it, if it was well-made. It just didn’t really do anything for him. The coffee was for Oscar. He was always influenced by coffee, the well-rested state he had after a nap hanging onto him for a bit longer if he complimented a nap with a cup of coffee. Simultaneously, he was always too busy with doing everything for everyone , to do something for himself in the first place. Luckily, he had Lando, who was always busy with having his eyes focused on Oscar, to not notice that.

Thankfully, Lando knew this place like the back of his hand. The trip to the kitchen didn’t take long, and making the coffee was completed as fast as he could, while also waiting for the water to boil. With his goal completed, the only thing that was left was to deliver it to Oscar. Careful not to spill anything, he moved towards Oscar’s room, and by extension his room, as they always shared a wall while staying at the camp.

One could only imagine his shock when he saw Oscar carrying the bright neon-yellow suitcase covered with stickers, as well as his own, as well as bags with the stupid camp counsellor kits, consisting of camp t-shirts and other useless nonsense. So he was right . Stupid Oscar and his stupid need to always help everyone before taking care of himself.

“Oscar!” Lando huffed, forgetting about his initial careful approach to the coffee, as he instead ran up to Oscar.

Then it all happened quickly. Somewhere between wanting to take at least some stuff from Oscar, and stumbling softly, Oscar had reacted much quicker than he did. He set all the things he was carrying or dragging on the floor, swiftly caught the mug from Lando’s hand, while also placing a firm hand on Lando’s back, slightly leaning forward to stop him from falling. While he did, their faces were only millimetres away and– oh God, their faces were only millimetres away. 

“Lando! You have to be more careful, come on!” Oscar laughed softly, without a struggle bringing Lando up to a standing position, trying to give the mug back to him, but Lando pushed it into his hands, trying to find it in himself to say something. 

Come on, Lando, get a grip.

“It’s uh– It’s for you” Lando offered him a shy smile, and the way Oscar’s face had simply melted had made him scream internally. Marry me marry me marry me.

“Aw, thank you!” Oscar accepted the coffee without further complaints, shuffling Lando’s suitcase as well as the bag with the camp kit closer to the Brit. “Appreciate that. But you know, next time, no need to fall for me like that” he winked with a sly smile, disappearing into his own room.

Lando, on the other hand, stood frozen in place for what felt like hours. Had Oscar just flirted with him, or was he simply going insane?

As Oscar closed the door to his room, he threw himself onto the bed, silent-screaming into his pillow. Did he just flirt with Lando? God, he was going insane.

2.

Among the many things Lando loved about the Summer Camp, there was one thing that stood out the most. One thing he couldn’t be more grateful for. It really happened by accident, but there was nothing to argue with, he was only majoring in Art Practice at Stanford now thanks to the Camp. He decided to take care of the arts & crafts activities because Alex asked him to do it together, and well, he didn’t really know what else to take. He never had any interest in art before.

No way he could take sports with George (and later Oscar, as well). It’s not like he was the most unathletic person on earth, but the kids especially loved to play beach volleyball whenever the weather allowed that. How was he supposed to take care of that with George and Oscar, who both played volleyball professionally, meanwhile, Lando thought it’s a success when he even touched the ball and didn’t miss it completely. Music was also not an option. He considered it for a moment, but when he found out that being the biggest swiftie in the state and a self-titled expert in sad music are not really the requirements, and instead he should know something about music – the way Charles did about piano, or Lewis did about singing – he gave up that thought. There were always the ‘general’ activities as well, but from Charles’ warnings, those were usually hiking trips with Max. He loved Max, but the thought of having to see Max be completely unfazed by the hike (candidate for the Olympic team in 100 metres sprint his ass), while he would be struggling for his life was off-putting enough. He already had enough of Max’s steel lungs at their morning runs. Runs which he wasn’t even supposed to be a part of, but Oscar decided that if he has to go through it, Lando has to as well. Oscar’s company made them at least somewhat enjoyable. Maybe he was jealous of Oscar’s ability to match Max’s pace without looking too bothered by the extreme nature of their runs. 

He really needed to find an excuse to get out of that morning routine this year.

Okay, Lando of course enjoyed the sight of Oscar exercising. He had no business in looking that hot while being all red and sweaty. Yet he still did. But, he could always watch Oscar exercising during the sports activities, no need to go through the literal torture that was cardio at the ass crack of dawn. He needed to get out of it this year, but he could already see Oscar’s sad puppy eyes when he would break the news. He just needed something that would satisfy Oscar enough to count as an apology and satisfy him. Lando couldn’t stand the idea of Oscar actually being upset with him. He still had some time to come up with a solution to his problems, Max and Oscar had probably barely started their run, they wouldn’t be back for at least half an hour, add the post-run stretching and cool down… he had roughly forty minutes to come up with something. 

After wasting about twenty minutes overthinking and then panicking about none of the plans that he came up with being good enough, he finally settled for making Oscar breakfast. Well, if you could call assembling a breakfast from the buffet ‘making’ it, then yeah, making Oscar breakfast. 

Not really caring about his appearance now – the usuals knew that one of the constant things Lando would do at camp was show up in his pyjamas to breakfast, sometimes even the morning activities – he came down to the kitchen. It almost surprised him how easily he remembered Oscar’s usual breakfast choice. He heated up some oatmeal in a microwave, topping it with sliced banana, blueberries, some peanut butter and chia seeds. Personally, he considered it to taste like cardboard with fruits, but then again, maybe he wasn’t the best person to judge people’s food choices. He was the textbook definition of a picky eater, after all. He grabbed some toast to make up a quick PB&J for himself, as he couldn’t be bothered enough to put in more effort towards his own breakfast. It was a miracle he made it on his own anyway, and did not count on Lewis pitying him and bringing him something, as he would usually do. Setting it on the table they often sat at with the other camp counsellors, he made another trip to the other essential part here – coffee. At the same time, he prepared himself some tea. Having that done, he was quite satisfied with what he came up with, as he sat down to wait for Oscar and Max to return from their torture session. He knew the way to Oscar’s fact was in fact through his stomach.

Well, speak of the devil and he shall arrive.

“I just– I don’t know, Max. Why didn’t he even say anything” Oscar’s disappointed voice ran in his ears, as the canteen started to fill up with people.

Oscar couldn’t lie, he was probably way more disappointed than he should’ve been when he realised Lando wasn’t making it this morning. He convinced Max to wait for five more minutes, but then five turned into ten, and then turned into fifteen, and even he lost hope. He knew that Lando wasn’t the biggest fan of their morning runs, but Oscar thought he came to enjoy them a little over the years. Turns out he was wrong. He didn’t know which upset him more – the fact that Lando probably did something he hated doing every year with them, which means that Oscar forced him to do it, and he hated the thought of being an inconvenience; or the fact that Lando didn’t even text him that he wouldn’t join them today. He tried to not sulk too much, which he probably failed, but thankfully, Max wasn’t the type of person who would push him to talk it out. He perfectly understood if Oscar needed silence, and he appreciated it so much at this moment.

“Oscar, calm down” Max sighed quietly, rolling his eyes. He truly had no idea where all the patience he had towards handling Oscar’s and Lando’s (he was not calling them Landoscar, no matter how much Charles would insist that he should do so) bullshit every single time they had to interact. It’s like they simply couldn't be normal about each other, yet were still blind to the shared affection between them. It did sometimes make him wonder if he used to be the same about Charles. “It’s Lando, he’s probably still sleeping” he tried, but as he brought his eyes up, he noticed the Brit already waiting at ‘their’ table. “Well, or he’s not. You can go talk to him. I’ll go wake up Charlie”

Was Charles already awake? For sure, he woke up at the same time that Max did. He just needed an excuse to get himself out of this situation.

“Uh, hi Lando” Oscar smiled awkwardly, as he walked up to the table, still not taking a seat. Instead, he awkwardly fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, trying to find the right words. “I just wanted to say like– I’m so sorry. I knew you didn’t enjoy the runs, and I still always asked you to come along, and I didn't realise I could have been making you feel, I don’t know, trapped? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset” he said gently, hoping it didn’t come off as too needy or too desperate. “I could– I don’t know, join you for arts and crafts, to make it even? I mean– I hate doing it. It’s like my hands never work the right way. But it makes you happy, so I guess that would maybe make it even? Me joining you for stuff I hate, but you like, just to keep you company?” well, that would be it from not coming across as desperate.

“Oscar that’s– oh my god, you muppet” Lando laughed quietly, nodding his head at the seat in front of him, urging Oscar to take it. He did seem a bit hesitant, but after a few seconds gave in. “I guess we are both muppets. I thought I was going to be the one that has to apologise. I'm sorry I didn’t send you a text, or whatever, but it’s just so embarrassing to do it with you two when you both are so good at it. I don’t know, self-care era for me, or whatever. So, to apologise, and avoid your sad puppy eyes, I thought. Hey, I can make him breakfast. But, it seems like we both need to work on not feeling guilty about minor inconveniences”

“Yeah, yeah it does” Oscar shook his head, a bright smile replacing the tight, nervous look that was on his face earlier. Now, that was more it. That’s how Lando liked to see his Oscar. Or, Oscar. Just Oscar. Not his. 

“You know, you can still join me for arts and crafts? A lot of kids signed up for it this year, we would appreciate a helping hand. If it doesn’t collide with your schedule, of course” he offered with a smile, as Oscar began to eat his breakfast. His hair, still slightly wet from sweat, had a few of its strands sticking to his forehead. His cheeks were still flushed red, and his skin was gently glistening as light hit it at certain angles. He looked irresistible. God, Lando really had to get a hold of himself.

“I mean– why not? I won’t touch anything, we both know it ends in a disaster” the Aussie laughed quietly in response, his speech slightly slurred as he was still eating. “But I can supervise the group. And provide entertainment”

“Oh, so you think you are interesting enough to entertain me, Piastri?”

“Of course I am, Norris”

Turns out Oscar was in fact a good entertainer.

He took care of the background music without even being asked to do it. As much as Lando prided himself in having amazing music taste, his, and Alex’s usually clashed, so they ended up playing whatever radio station that would catch signal, and would often end up with randomized music that no one in the room really enjoyed. Oscar put on a playlist mostly consisting of 70s rock, heavily filled with Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie and Abba. Somehow, there was not a simple complaint for the entire duration of the class. Who would’ve thought 70s rock was the answer to their years-long music dispute.

He also carefully listened to Lando’s and Alex’s instructions. They were starting the camp with something rather simple – making bracelets. They did try to bring the kids’ attention to choosing the right beads, to ensure that the colours would balance each other out perfectly. Not only that, but they have also shown them some more complicated patterns than just a simple bracelet, which most of them decide to try out. Which simply meant, almost each of the kids needed some help. There was simply not enough of Lando and Alex to help all of them, but thankfully Oscar stepped in when he could, making it a lot easier for them.

And when most of the kids caught the right rhythm of making them, and didn’t really need much more help than simple supervision, Oscar decided his job is not over. He did come here to entertain Lando, and he was absolutely going to provide Lando with something to occupy him.

“Landooo” he slung an arm sound his friend, when he stood up from crouching next to one of the tables, properly startling Lando. Alex was distracted with chatting with one of the groups of kids, this was the perfect moment. He laughed quietly at how scared Lando was, as if he didn’t expect Oscar, who was following Lando around the room like a lost puppy for quite some time already. “I have a task for you.”

“Task? For me? Getting bossy, are we?” 

“Well, fuck off” Oscar rolled his eyes. “I just wanted to see you make a full bracelet. You have only shown them the pattern. I want to see you make a full one. You did invite me here to accompany you with something you like doing.”

“Yeah, I did” Lando smiled softly, reaching for one of the unused boxes with beads. “Want to help me with it?”

“And do we want another disaster?” he raised an eyebrow, laughing quietly. From experience, that was not a good idea at all. He still remembered the hours they had to spend picking up probably hundreds of beads off the floor after Oscar not only broke all three of his bracelets attempts, but also knocked over the open boxes of beads, making a complete mess. 

“You’re right, actually. Well, then just sit there and you can watch, hm?”

And so he did. Lando carefully chose out the perfect beads, showing the composition to Oscar at different stages, waiting for his approval. He was slowly putting the bracelet together, with much precision, but also visible experience, as from time to time he would look up from the project on his hands to focus on Oscar’s face as he was talking about whatever gossip Max had to share during the run that Lando missed out on.

“And then, Max said, that Charles said, that Seb and Mark used to have a thing with each other?” Oscar exclaimed, his voice more emotional about their older colleagues having an affair in the past than it would be about pretty much… anything. Oscar always found a new way to amuse Lando. “Like, how did Mark dare never tell me about it!”

“Tell me once again, Osc, why are you and Mark so close?”

“Well, we are both Australian?” he giggled softly, it was quite ridiculous how close he was with Mark. On the other hand, it wasn’t the level of closeness that Charles had with Sebastian. It was sometimes insane to think that these two were not related. Sometimes soulmates are a 10 years older German man with the looks of a sad English professor and a soul of a cheap whore and his slightly feral and mentally insane Monégasque protégé. “I dunno, it kind of just spiralled, Mark’s just chill, I guess. But really, Sebastian Vettel? I would never think that they– ew!”

“Oscar, how old are you again? What do you mean, ‘ew’?” Lando looked at him in disbelief. He loved when Oscar let the more childish side of him shine through. He was only eighteen, at the end of the day. Still, he often acted the most mature out of their entire group. Which probably should be slightly worrying. It was good to see him embrace the fact that he is still a teenager. It made Lando slightly proud of himself. He managed to get their relationship to a point where Oscar was comfortable enough to be that way around him. It was huge.

They continued their bickering up until Lando was done with the bracelet. It wasn’t anything too special, the base colours were two shades of blue – a deeper navy one, and one that was a bit brighter and more dull. To make it more unique, between the two blues, there were repeated white flowers. The pattern was really simple, and after years of teaching it, Lando could probably do it with closed eyes. But seeing how amused Oscar was at the finished product, it really did not take a second thought from Lando, and he simply took Oscar’s wrist into his hand, wrapping the bracelet around it, and closing it with a smile.

“See, now we can match” Lando beamed happily, shaking the many bracelets on his arm as if to solidify his words. It was a lifelong collection, really. Only a few of these were made by himself. Most were traded with others – whether it was camp kids, his friends, or even random people in a bookshop (They’ve noticed his collection as he was picking out a book for Oscar’s birthday, and that day he not only earned himself a book to read after only doing so when school required it for years, but also a gorgeous bracelet. A win in his books, pun intended). Besides the impressive number of beaded bracelets, he had a few ones that were made out of thread, their condition much worse. Still, he was attached. Oscar, on the other hand, was never a jewellery guy. Whether it came from not being able to choose the right stuff, or just lack of interest, he seemed purely filled with joy as he looked down at the bracelet. “I take it you like it?”

“Yes!” Oscar answered, smiling widely. Lando couldn’t help but chuckle light-heartedly, finding the expression of happiness simply endearing. “Thank you, Lan”

And then, just as yesterday, it all happened quick. Oscar got up from where he was sitting in a blink of an eye, only to launch himself at Lando full speed. 

If Lando had a nickel for every time his and Oscar’s face were millimetres away during this year’s camp, he would already have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still weird it happened twice. Right?

Before Lando could properly react, Oscar had already wrapped his arms around Lando tightly, an embrace resembling the one they had at the car park yesterday. It was warm and secure, and Lando never wanted to leave it. Even if a silent voice in his head did scream about another missed opportunity for a kiss, he was now happy with just a hug. If he couldn’t have Oscar fully, he could always enjoy as much of himself as Oscar was willing to give. It could be enough for Lando.

3.

The last few days of the camp were great. By ‘great’ Lando meant many things.

Max and Charles hadn’t been caught making out by kids yet. Which was their camp record for now. Thirteen days and counting. Truly impressive from them, considering in previous years the furthest they managed to get was three. For some reason, they were just really unlucky, and they were always the couple that the kids would stumble upon. George and Alex, on the other hand, never seemed to have that problem.

Charles hadn’t broken anything too important yet. His terrible luck not only influenced him and Max being caught in inappropriate moments, but it seemed to haunt him in every aspect of his life. He somehow broke a piano last year. Two years ago, when he offered to take the role of the bus driver on their way back – their driver was really sick – the bus broke down in the middle of the road, which forced them to stay by the side of the highway for 10 hours until another bus would come for them. For ‘smaller’ stuff, he did cause a minor flood because of a shower malfunction one year, as well as probably caused a power outage. This year, however, nothing seemed to have happened yet. Besides spilling coffee on George on their first day there. But Lando found that funny, so he wouldn’t really put it in the ‘many unfortunate events of Charles Leclerc’ category. 

None of the kids was injured, no one was sick, throwing up, with a fever, all sorts of medical inconveniences one can think of. After years of experience in being a camp counselor, Lando quickly learnt that it was more than easy for a kid to get sick out of the blue. So naturally, he was grateful when none of that happened. At least yet. And he really hoped for it to stay that way.

After the little miscommunication between him and Oscar about the morning runs, that finally got resolved by breakfast/arts and crafts, Lando was free of that as well. He could sleep in a little, he didn’t have to go through the torture that running with Max Verstappen was, he was doing great. Only thing, he pitied Oscar a bit. The poor Aussie looked more exhausted than previous years when coming back. And it’s not like he was out of shape, oh no, he was perfectly in shape, if you asked Lando. It’s just that Max was simply a force to reckon with. Especially when it came to running. He was like lightning mcqueen, if lightning mcqueen was an Olympic sprint runner instead.

Thankfully, the rumour about Mark’s and Seb’s past love affair didn’t go camp-wide. He did expect it to spread like a wildfire when Oscar told him about it. Yet, he hadn’t heard a single kid talk about it so far. He supposed it was for the better. Mark would probably not handle it the best. He wasn’t worried about Sebastian. As much as everyone was convinced he was the kindest, sweetest person out there, Lando knew the truth. Behind that persona, there was no bigger gremlin than Sebastian Vettel. He just fooled everyone, while in reality, he was the mastermind here. Lando was sure Seb would enjoy the rumours. But Lando was also ever so slightly terrified of Seb.

He also hadn’t almost kissed Oscar ever since that moment during arts and crafts. He wasn’t sure if he could call it an almost kiss, but for him, it did count as such. Then again, maybe it was just Lando being head over heels for Oscar, and looking for any kind of confirmation that he had even the slightest chance with him. 

Nonetheless, there was no similar incident since then. 

And if all hell was about to break loose, he hoped at least this would stay that way. Everything could happen. The Mark-Seb rumour could spread, Charles could set the entire camp on fire if he wanted to, and the kids could film pornography of Charles and Max for all he cared. He just didn’t want to allow himself to get delusional about himself having chances with Oscar. It would hurt too much when he would eventually see Oscar dating someone else, then.

To add to his overall satisfaction, this afternoon there was the volleyball match that was happening today. All the kids that chose sports got separated into two teams – Oscar’s and George’s – and played a match of beach volleyball for the rest of the camp to watch. After that, in the evening there was a small dance that he quite shamelessly really enjoyed, and then to finish it off, a bonfire with s’mores and soft guitar music. The last day of the camp always went down exactly that way. Everyone got so involved in making it perfect, especially the volleyball match, even the non-players. Supporters were important, too, after all. A day before, he and Alex would always make banners, or even custom t-shirts in arts and crafts with the kids. 

He once even made a shirt with ‘team Oscar’ written in little sparkly beads he embroidered on the front, as well as 81 (the number Oscar played volleyball on his professional team with) on the back, this time carefully painted on with pink fabric paint – again, the colours of his volleyball team that he played for in their school. He wore it proudly every year. Alex had a matching one, ‘team George’ in the same sparkly beads on the front, as well as a 63 that used to be pink, but ever since George started University, Alex re-did his shirt for the 63 to be the bright papaya of Stanford’s team. It didn’t even occur to Lando he should do that as well, since Oscar technically was already a part of Stanford’s team. He wore his usual custom-fan-wear and sat on the sand right next to Alex, close to them Mark and Sebastian, who acted as referees. Who forced these two to do it together was still a mystery to him.

“Lando, where is your boyfriend, we should already be starting, and we are missing our captain” one of the older kids, the usuals, as he called them, whined while squatting in front of them. Alex only giggled slightly, as Lando’s cheeks flushed with bright red.

“Kid, it’s Mr Norris. You know Mark has a stick up his ass about how you all refer to us” he hissed quietly, hoping Mark didn’t pick up on the conversation. “And, Mr Piastri is not my boyfriend. I don’t know where he is, he should be there soon”

Speak of the devil, and he shall arrive, as the old saying went, right? The kid walked away from him, clearly not satisfied with the response, to chat with their friends instead, but as he looked up, he noticed Oscar running towards the pitch. The outfit he wore was just criminal. The shorts hugged his muscular thighs just perfectly, leaving nothing to imagination. The tank top he wore showcased his arms just perfectly, and Lando couldn’t wait for the moment they would be glistening in the harsh Californian-summer sun from the sweat, as he would jump towards the ball. His slightly too long hair were held up by a headband, in a way that reminded Lando of Rafael Nadal and his iconic headbands, if he had to compare it to anything. He was almost sure they wore it the same way. And, apologies to Rafa, Lando had a crush on him since he was a teenager to be fair, but in all honesty, Oscar wore it better. Lost in thought, he didn’t notice when Oscar was standing in front of him, holding a piece of fabric out to Lando. 

“Sorry for being late, but, I couldn’t let my biggest fan be in the wrong gear” he laughed quietly, looking towards Mark and Sebastian who both looked at him quite unimpressed, probably eager to already get going. Lando was, however, still very much confused. “I changed teams, Lando. I thought you'd make a swap just like Alex did, but when I saw you in these, I decided, well. I cannot let you rep the wrong team, can I? Wear that instead.” with that, he pushed the fabric into Lando’s hands, and ran off to his team.

Oh. Ooh. 

The piece of fabric was Oscar’s new team jersey. Lando gently unrolled it, and was met with ‘PIASTRI, 81’ on the back. He looked to Alex, who moved his eyebrows suggestively, only making Lando blush more. Trying to play it cool, he put the jersey over the t-shirt he had on, it wasn’t that hot today, he would survive. He tried to act as if his heart wasn’t racing a hundred miles per hour. As if it wasn’t the most ‘boyfriends’ thing Oscar has ever done, even considering their almost-kisses.

How was he supposed to act normal now?

Lando tried to ignore Alex’s suggestive looks and his burning cheeks and instead focus on the match. Oscar’s team started off great, and after a few minutes, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of Oscar even if he tried. He looked like a sculpture that came to life. During his studies, they covered a lot about the antique standards for sculptures. He had sculptures by Polykleitos and Myron pretty much engraved in his brain. The perfect features, flawless bodies, how both of them captured the human essence perfectly, making it seem as if there was a real, human soul trapped in the ivory or bronze. Oscar looked like one of those masterpieces that were somehow moved by the soul inside. He looked as if the greatest of sculptures came together to carve each millimetre of his body over years and years of hard work just to make it perfect. He was delicate and dainty, somehow Lando felt as if he would fall apart if only Lando reached out a hand to touch him, but at the same time there was so much roughness and power in his movements, each of them calculated and cold, fitting Oscar’s usual style of play. Lando was no expert in volleyball by no means, but watching Oscar play had always left him speechless. 

The match ended with Oscar team winning it. Lando of course stood up to give them a standing ovation, watching as both teams congratulated each other. When Oscar finally talked with his own team, Lando walked up to his friend with the intention of congratulating him properly, as his biggest fan of course. He opened up his arms for a hug, and before he could realize, they were not only hugging, but Oscar picked him off the ground and spun him around as if he was a Disney princess.

No wonder the kids thought of us as boyfriends, really , he thought, as their faces were inches away once again . As his heartbeat sped up once again. And as they once again parted, before he could feel the sensation of another lips on his. Of Oscar’s lips, of course.

“Congrats, Oscar. Making me proud of wearing your number” Lando smiled brightly, trying to keep himself composed. He totally didn’t almost kiss Oscar once again, and Oscar totally didn’t look like the hottest mess known to man. No, that was not happening.

“Well, I’m honoured to have such a loyal fan” Oscar laughed quietly, swinging an arm around Lando, leaving him to where their friends gathered in a group. That would totally not help his case. How was he supposed to calm himself down now?

“Ah, Oscar, kid” suddenly, out of nowhere, Mark Webber stood in their way, with a weird expression on his face that Lando couldn’t really read. “Congratulations, man. Put in that performance at Stanford and you are on your way to the national team.”

“Why thank you, Mark” if Lando didn’t know better, he would be sure those two are related. Or at the very least, Oscar was raised by Mark. None of this was true, however, though it was sometimes hard to believe.

“Well, then” he clapped in response, looking at Lando with that same unreadable expression. Lando really didn’t like it, it felt judging, and pissed, yet also empathetic? He fully didn’t understand it. “I’m sorry to destroy the fun, but I need to kidnap Lando for a moment here. I’ll have him back in a sec, hm?”

“Uh, okay?” Oscar raised an eyebrow, a bit weirded out by Mark’s behaviour. He and Lando were never really close, so he had no idea why would the older man need him. He allowed Lando to slip out of the grip Oscar had around him, and watched as the two walked away.

He had to admit, he felt a little bit sad. He didn’t just go all out and about to grab Lando’s attention in any way just for him to disappear right after the match. He brought Lando the jersey, gave him an extra special hug reserved only for him after the match. He did it all with the intention for Lando to just look at him differently. To see him as someone else, as more than he sees in others. Oscar was painfully aware of his boring normalcy, of the unbearable way he didn’t stand out of the crowd. Painfully aware of the fact that in a room full of people, not only would no one look for him, but no one would even notice him. And he was tired of it. 

If only Oscar knew Lando only had eyes for him. If Oscar only knew.

4.

“So, a stick up my ass, huh?”

Oh, fuck. Lando was fucked. He really hoped Oscar didn’t hear them now. They walked away quite a while, but if Mark had heard that one, then, who knows what’s possible. Oscar loved Mark, he would possibly be upset if he knew that Lando said that. And he really didn’t want to be thrown into the fire later that day by two angry Australians. Sounds like a lame death.

“I– I mean–” he stuttered, trying to think of a way to get himself out of it.

“I’m kidding. Chill” Mark laughed silently, his features slowly softening. Phew. “But, I might turn out to have a stick up my ass if you continue playing with Oscar.”

“Playing with– what?” Lando opened his mouth slightly, simply too shocked by the sheer concept of him playing with Oscar. He would rather shoot himself than have the possibility of hurting Oscar’s feelings like that. How could Mark even think that?

“Bless Oscar, but that kid is blind. I’m not, though. I can see you poorly flirting with him, trying to bring his attention. You’ve been doing that for years now, but it’s intensifying. I don’t– look, here. You are a good kid, Lando” somehow, it felt like the opposite of a compliment. Lando only swallowed and nodded his head. “But Oscar… he had it rough. I’m only saying it, ‘cause I trust you. I trust you to make the right decision with him. Do you get me?”

“I– yeah. Yeah,” he nodded his head, listening to Mark carefully. He was still confused, but he needed to hear the other out.

“He had it rough. It’s not something he talks about, he feels like it’s some sort of shame or whatever but– he was always quite a loner, you know? He– let’s just say kids weren’t really nice to him, back at home. Lando, he– god, no, I’m not saying more. It didn’t end pretty. But it’s his story to tell. What I’m trying to say… he gets attached fast, fast and hard. I don’t want him to fall for you only to have his heart broken because you are playing with him. I know you mean no harm but I–”

“I’m not playing with Oscar. I like him” he blurted out, cringing a little as he said it out loud. Never ever would he have thought he would say it to Mark Webber, out of all people. Even if, he would never assume Mark Webber would be the first person to hear it.

“I– Wow, Lando. I’m not the one you should confess that to” Mark laughed quietly in response, gently squeezing Lando’s arm. “Again, you are a good kid. I’m glad to find out that you are treating Oscar seriously, that it’s not all just a game for you. In that case, treat him well.”

With that, Mark left to catch up with Sebastian, who was already waiting for him in front of the small venue where the dance would be later held. Lando stood here, completely dumbfounded. Did Mark just give him a pep talk about Lando hitting on his son-figure, that was totally worthy of ones you would see dads in American movies get to their daughter’s dates to prom, or did he hallucinate that? What was he supposed to do with that information, even? What did Lando mean with ‘Oscar had it tough’? Did that change anything between them?  Was Mark right with Oscar also catching feelings? Could he do something about it? How many more almost-kisses did they need till he would be brave enough to actually make a move? Too many questions, yet no answers. And no time to think of them, he realized, as he saw Charles waving at him from the distance.

“Lando!” the Monégasque called him, as he leaned against Max, who had his arm wrapped around his boyfriend, but was intently listening to George’s rant, just as Alex and Oscar were.

Right. Oscar. What the hell was Lando supposed to do right now? He was convinced the kisses really were an accident. That there was nothing between them. That he had no chance. He was convinced that was the case just a few short hours ago. How could one talk with Mark Webber change so much between him and Oscar? He didn’t even want to think about the fact that if they did actually get together, he would have to be thankful to Mark for that. He chose to just ignore it for now.

For the next few hours before the dance would start, he tried to avoid Oscar. He stayed with the group for a moment, but then just made up a poor excuse and sprinted towards his room. He pretended he didn’t see Oscar’s ‘kicked puppy’ expression, or he would give in and stay with them. But he couldn’t, not yet. Not until he had at least somewhat of a game plan of what to do next. 

As he headed inside the venue, he smiled brightly. It was great to enjoy some party music, dancing, and all the party-esque vibes without the alcohol. He was no stranger to overdoing on a night out with his friends, so, having a chance to do all of this without the inevitable headache and nausea he usually woke up to, he would never pass on it. Plus, the kids always got a bit more open when they saw that even the adults were having fun. He was being a good role model.

After almost choking on laughter as he watched Charles try (and miserably fail) to get Max to dance with him with many bordering-on-pathetic methods, he looked around to find Oscar. He still couldn’t come up with any plan as to how he should act. All of his tries eventually ended up in a disastrous scenario where Oscar hates him till the rest of their lives. He didn’t even want to think of that being possible. It seemed like he had to give up on trying to plan it out, and just go with the flow, while also praying he won’t fuck anything up. Praying that he can just, for once during this year’s camp, be normal around Oscar.

There Oscar was, leaning against a wall in a corner, observing the happy crowd of people with an unreadable look on his face. He was wearing a baggy t-shirt with some sort of science riddle Lando didn’t understand. In a way, Oscar reminded Lando of Peter Parker, the MCU one, whenever he wore his stupidly cute nerdy t-shirts. Paired that with a pair of baggy jeans (one's Lando literally forced Oscar to buy), and he looked amazing. But not really fitting the ‘party’ vibe. He was never a party person, and Lando was aware of that, but still. He could try!

“Oscar” Lando laughed quietly, his accent once again deforming the Aussie’s name to have more of an ‘ah’ instead of ‘ar’ at the end. “Do you have to be a party pooper every year?”

“Yes, next question?” Oscar raised an eyebrow in response, only to giggle a second after. He nervously shuffled his feet, smiling a little awkwardly. Silence filled the space between them, and Lando almost forgot how to speak. All of his earlier intentions of approaching this situation closely were out of the window right now. Lando was glad he still had his teenager status, or else it would be extremely embarrassing for him to be this down bad for Oscar even though they weren’t dating. 

Yet. They weren’t dating yet. If he could trust Mark’s judgment, he could actually do something about it.

“What song do I need to play to get you on the dance floor?” just be normal, Lando, be normal, he tried to tell himself. Maybe it was a bit too flirty for their normal, but if he didn’t try to at least make small steps, they would never move forward.

“Queen Rihanna and queen Rihanna only” Oscar retorted back, probably assuming Lando was just joking. If he joined them for a single one of their hang-outs at a club or a pub, he would know better than to underestimate Lando’s outgoing personality and foolish confidence when it came to DJing. If he and Oscar were the only two people to enjoy Rihanna, then let all the other boring people watch them with jealousy. He would play Rihanna loud and proud.

“Osc!” he shouted over from the (very amateur, if he could add his two cents in) DJ set, as the first notes of ‘don’t stop the music’ filled the air. Oscar looked everything between amused and a little terrified by Lando’s actions. Despite that, in a matter of seconds they were close to each other, dancing clumsily as if they were the only people in there.

We’re hand in hand,

chest to chest,

and now we’re face to face…

As the lyrics filled his ears, he could see Oscar’s face closer to him than he ever did before. Which was really close, considering they almost kissed three times this camp already. He really didn’t want to prolong his streak of almost-kissing Oscar, he didn’t want to make it four times. He closed his eyes, ready for them to actually kiss this time, but nothing came. As if Oscar suddenly remembered they weren’t actually alone, he shied away from Lando, his cheeks burning red.

They didn’t mention it. Not until the dance ended. Not until the bonfire.

5.

Staring at the dancing flames, a stark contrast against the darkening, evening landscape around them, Lando realized how much he is going to miss this. Subconsciously he scooped a bit closer to Alex, who gave him a weird look, but without a word of complaint wrapped an arm around his friend. See, this is what he loves about this friend group. If he wants a hug from his friends, he can sure as hell get it, without it being odd or romantic. And in times like these, he really needed a casual hug.

It’s not like they were all parting till next summer will come around. Quite the opposite. He will probably find himself on the floor of Max’s flat, controller in his hand, playing FIFA or the new F1 game Max bought recently with Max of course, but probably Alex and Charles as well. George and Oscar will join them in the game occasionally, though the two will usually just sit and watch the others battle it out on the screen. If not that, Charles will probably text him if he wants to run errands together. They lived quite close to each other, and Charles insisted it was way more fun to buy necessities if you had a friend with you. And well, Lando couldn’t argue against that statement. He would go out to pick new things he needed for the next year of University with Alex, or go help at the animal shelter with George, invite himself over to Oscar’s flat and just be an overall pain in the ass, interrupting Oscar’s daily schedule. He would still see them almost every day, they basically lived with each other, just slept in their own flats. 

But still, he always missed summer camp. This was different. This was unique. Especially this year, since… whatever was going on between him and Oscar now had started happening.

Going back home while the situation between them was still unresolved seemed like a terrible thing to do. For whatever reason, he had a terrible gut feeling that the built-up tension between them would disappear once they would be back home. He really wanted to do something to just… secure that state. To make sure their relationship would still move forward. Lando looked across the bonfire, to see Oscar, engaged in a conversation with Mark. His face was gently illuminated by the warm light coming from the fire. If Oscar looked polite on the daily basis, Lando had no words for just how sweet he appeared right now. The orange and yellow tones softened his features, made him look so gentle, so lovely. He really wanted to just hold Oscar, shut him from whatever evil could meet him in this world. From whatever Mark meant with ‘he had it rough’. Though, how was he supposed to protect Oscar, if he couldn’t even find the courage within him to speak out about his feelings?

“Go talk with him” he suddenly heard Alex’s whisper. He sat up straight, furrowing his brows while he stared at his friend. “Look. You may be blind, but we all are not. I know it’s not… easy. You know how long it took for me and George” he laughed softly. Lando did remember. Painful years. Years! For how long they were pining for each other, it took them so long to actually do something about it. Well, with his incredible help, of course. “Don’t repeat our mistakes. The longer you dance around each other, the harder it gets to confess. Trust me, I’d know”

“But you and George are like–”

“Meant to be? Soulmates? Obvious? Yeah, I agree. But so are you and Oscar” he said with so much confidence, that it was almost impossible for Lando to not believe that. “I know you don’t see it, but everyone else does. Just… try, okay? You always have us.” Lando couldn’t find the right words within him, so he only nodded with a tight smile. It was right. If everything went south, he always had his friend. He could count on them no matter what. Alex said so, it had to be true.

With newfound confidence, he lifted himself up and walked over to where Oscar was sitting, now with no Mark in sight. He sat on his own, knees curled up to his chest, eyes fixed on the fire. He looked so peaceful, like he was in his own bubble, completely separated from the outside world. However, the second Lando sat down next to him, Oscar turned his head towards him.

“Hi” he smiled, a bit awkwardly, squinting his eyes in a polite expression. God, he looked so cute. So… kissable. 

No, Lando. Stop. Bad Lando.

“Hi” he answered instead, not breaking the eye contact between them even for a moment. It was cliché and overused, but Lando did feel lost in Oscar’s eyes. The warm brown colour of them, how big and gentle they were, only accented by his long, dreamy eyelashes. “You looked lonely here”

“I’m never lonely” he said softly, at which Lando tilted his head curiously. Oscar sometimes found a way with words that Lando felt jealous off. He was much better at chaotic gesturing and stuttering, not poetic metaphors and calm tones like Oscar. But they balanced each other out, at least. “I’m alone, sometimes. Not in a bad way. I like being alone. But I’m not… lonely. Not any more. I always have you. And Logan, and Arthur, and all of these guys– I’m not lonely. Not here. Not with you.”

Lando really could feel his heart melt. He didn’t know what to say. He was always amused by just how kind Oscar was. How he always needed the people close to him to know how appreciated they are. He always helped everyone, no matter how much it would mess up his perfectly calculated schedules and routines. He always put others before him. Lando admired that. He wanted to have a soul as kind as Oscar’s. Or, he at least wanted to protect Oscar’s kindness. It didn’t deserve to be ruined by the cruelty of the outside world. Yet, something told him, that Oscar already endured way too much of said cruelty, if Mark’s words were anything to go by. And Lando hated that thought so much.

“Well, that’s true. I would never let you be lonely” he answered after a moment of silence, feeling a little proud of himself when Oscar smiled brightly in response. A smile that could light up a planet, in the wise words of Tyler, the Creator. “You looked alone, then. I hope this isn’t one of the moments when you’d prefer to be on your own? I’d hate to interrupt.”

“It– it doesn’t apply to you” he answered quickly, blushing after he realized he said that out loud. “I mean– with you, I don’t feel like I need to be alone for a moment. You are different. My social battery has no expiration date when it’s about you.”

“You know, I think I have something similar with you” Lando smiled softly, looking away at the fire. He had to admit, the evenings here could get quite cold. And Oscar wasn’t sat as close to the fire as he was with Alex. But, not to be cringe, he felt totally warmed up just by how cute Oscar was being right now. “I’m always afraid I say too much. Or just– am too much. But you, you are different. I literally talked your ear off for two hours about my stupid art assignment and you listened! You brought me a book that could help the next day. That was literally the sweetest thing anyone has ever done to me.”

Oscar giggled softly at that, but didn’t answer beyond it. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, simply content with enjoying each other's presence, processing the words they just heard. It’s not like they didn’t know they were important to each other. Of course, they did. It’s just that they never actually talked about it. And though there was no actual confession, Lando felt as if it almost was one.

“Here, take it. You’re shivering” Oscar said softly, holding out his hoodie to Lando, who shook his head to refuse it.

“No, I’m not even–”

“You are cold. And you’ll get sick. You know I’m right, so. Take it” he insisted, still holding the piece of fabric out towards Lando. Well, he was right. Lando always got cold ridiculously fast. Screw Oscar and his Australian genes. He could go out in the middle of winter wearing shorts, and he was just fine. Lando’s not sure if he has ever seen Oscar with a flu!

So, he took the hoodie and put it on without further protests. It was huge on him. Oscar wore his hoodies oversized, and Lando was smaller than he by all means. Shorter, less muscular. Yet, there was something comforting about drowning in Oscar’s hoodie, the smell of his usual cologne and coffee clinging to it. He never wanted to take it off. The gesture was so sweet, and Oscar’s smell was so addicting.

“God, I really could kiss you right now”

He didn’t really mean that. Or well, obviously, he did. He didn’t mean to say that. Especially not when he saw Oscar’s terrified face.

Oh, so he fucked up fucked up. Calling your teacher ‘mum’, fucked up. Or even worse.

“I– Lando…” Oscar stuttered, while also stumbling up to his feet. He looked so startled, so shocked, so scared. Lando hated the thought that he could ever make Oscar look this way. Oscar, who wasn’t really a person to wear his emotions of display. He either looked unbothered, or had the most polite smile you could imagine plastered on his face. It was hard to see him showing anything that could be considered a negative emotion. “You– You have no idea what you are saying. I think I– I need a moment.”

“Oscar, wait! What do you mean I– Oscar!” Lando stood up as well, but all he could do now was stare at the back of his friend – ex-friend? Failed situationship? – as he ran away. It really was a scene from one of the little bit cringe romance movies he watched with Max (none of them would admit they did it, they would hate it if anyone found out they actually enjoyed these), where there always had to be this dramatic moment between the main character and their love interest where everything went shit. He still knew they would get together, but he was always so upset that it took them so long. That there had to be miscommunication, always. He felt like the main character of those right now. Which, on one hand, he would get his happy ending, if he was to follow the plot of these movies. On the other, Oscar just ran away from him.

What was he even doing here, still? 

+1.

Without further hesitation, he took after Oscar. His form was nowhere as good as Oscar’s, but the Aussie stopped within his line of sight, and he appeared to be sitting or kneeling on the sand. He was far enough, so the pretty loud bonfire filled with chatting kids and adults was merely a background noise, and it was almost completely dark, the only light from the stars and the moon which already took over the night sky, the sun already gone. As Lando got closer to Oscar, he slowed down, not wanting to be barely breathing when he’s supposed to set things straight between them. When he was close enough he could just reach out a hand and touch Oscar, he heard the silent sobs, muffled by the hand Oscar has brought up to his mouth.

He was crying. Oscar was crying. Lando has never seen him cry. 

(And he never wanted to again. It was probably the most heartbreaking sight he has ever endured. He hated the fact that he was the one to cause it.)

But Oscar never cried. Not on sad movies or books. Not on cute videos of little animals, even! He never really confided in Lando, saying that he just didn't have anything to share when Lando asked about it (bullshit), but when he did, he appeared weirdly calm. He talked about the teacher that was giving him shit for all of his years in their school, but he always seemed more mad at himself than upset at the teacher being shit. He never cried, at least not in front of people. Seeing him like that broke Lando. He knelt beside Oscar, gently setting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hi” Lando smiled fondly, trying to hide away his sadness. It wasn’t the time. For once, he had to be the support for Oscar. And he would do his best to be that. 

“Lando you– You shouldn’t be here now” Oscar mumbled quietly, his voice shaky and a bit hoarse, tears still streaming down his face.

“Osc, shush. I need to say that, okay?” his tone was a bit more stern right now, they couldn’t get the miscommunication get between them. Even if they wouldn’t date, Lando would do anything in his power to not lose Oscar as a friend. “Look, I’m… sorry, about earlier. I didn’t think it would upset you so much. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I just– I like you, Oscar. And I thought you liked me as well? Mark said that, and Alex and– I thought–”

“I like you, idiot” Oscar laughed quietly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if Lando doubting it because Oscar has literally ran way when Lando said he wants to kiss him wasn’t like, fully rational! Come on, did kissing someone meant you hate them in Australia, or what? “It’s just– you shouldn’t like me.”

“I shouldn’t– Oscar, what the fuck” he breathed out, laughing nervously. How was he supposed to interpret that? He was somewhere in between utter shock and heartbreak.

“You shouldn’t like me” he repeated, finally looking towards Lando. His eyes were a bit puffy, and his cheeks were red, probably from blushing mixed with crying, as well covered with drying tears. He looked like a mess, yet, Lando still wanted to kiss him. Maybe even more than he did before. “I– None of you should. And I know that, you mean that you– you have a crush on me or whatever, but I don’t understand why you even tolerate me at all. It’s– god, that sounds so like, pick me. But– I mean it. I don’t know why would you want me around.”

“Mark– Mark told me to be careful with you. That you– he said you ‘had it rough’. Does that…?” he said with shaky voice, shocked beyond saying anything more coherent. He could feel his heart break more and more with every word that left Oscar’s mouth. How long has Oscar been thinking that? For how Long Oscar felt like he didn’t belong when they were hanging out? For how long was he hurting like that and none of them noticed? And Lando didn’t notice? He felt horrible about himself right now. And most importantly, he felt horrible about Oscar having to feel that way.

“Fuck” Oscar whispered under his breath, tugging at his hair. Lando didn’t like that, not at all. He gently wrapped his fingers around Oscar’s wrist, bringing his hand down. Stop hurting yourself more than you already are, he wanted to say. But the only sound between them right now were the waves crushing on the sand and the camp attendees far, far away. “I guess I never told you why I left Australia, didn’t I?”

“You don’t have to, Osc” he said softly, gently rubbing his thumbs against Oscar’s palms. 

“I– you deserve to hear it” he insisted, fixing his gaze on the horizon in front of them. “I guess I was– I wasn’t– kids didn’t really like me. Like, ever. Since I can remember, I was always playing by my own. There was always something wrong with me. I don’t know what. I still don’t know what have I done at five to have my toys stolen or broken by other five-year-olds. Like, come on. Little me deserved better.”

“It just never got better. I went to school with the same kids that I was in kindergarten with, and at some point I just assumed they hate me now because of a habit, or whatever. It wasn’t…  Bad, for the first few years. Yeah, they would destroy my locker, my backpack, and books, spill stuff on me in the canteen, I could survive that. I could survive the whispers and rumours, I could survive them embarrassing me if I ever decided to use my voice. Which, mind you, was a rare occurrence. I could survive being shoved into walls, targeted during P.E., having my head drown in the toilets. That– That was funny, actually. They watched too many movies, I guess, because, who does that? ” he laughed quietly, and Lando was surprised to see how genuine it sounded, looked.

If Oscar could treat that as funny, how bad did it get? Because Lando didn’t find it funny. Not at all. He found it horrifying, disgusting, he found it building up such strong rage within him that it almost felt alien to him to be this mad at something, someone. If he was to see them now he couldn’t even imagine what he would do to them. He couldn’t imagine anyone hurting Oscar now. Yeah, maybe he had a resting bitch face and sometimes looked like an asshole, but he was the kindest person Lando ever had the honour to meet. And little Oscar? With crooked teeth and his big, doe eyes? Childish innocence he probably had to get rid of too fast because of these assholes? How dared they lay their hands on him?

“I… I tried to tell my parents. They didn't believe me. I– I love them. And they apologized so much for that already but, I can’t help but think what would happen if they believed me back then. I don’t blame them. Just, regrets, I guess.

But I do. Lando thought to himself. I blame them. How could they watch you slowly crack and don’t take notice? Why didn’t they believe you? Why were you so lonely when you had the whole world against you?

‘I’m not… Lonely. Not any more’

Suddenly it made sense. Suddenly he understood what Oscar meant. He wasn’t lonely now, not at all. Not compared to what he had to endure when he was so little.

“I guess– I had friends. I had Logan. Did you know we met online? We did. We spent the entire summer playing minecraft over a discord call” Oscar laughed softly, again. There was something even more heartbreaking about how while telling such a tragic story, Oscar could just laugh. “I knew Arthur and Fred by extent, they were his friends. We sometimes called all together. None of them knew about the… bullying, I guess. Not even Logan. I didn’t want to tell them. I was scared they wouldn’t believe me, too.”

Lando felt the meaning of these words. The slight hesitance. Oscar thought Lando wouldn’t believe him as well. He slightly squeezed Oscar’s hand, trying to provide any sort of comfort. He couldn’t force any words out, not now.

“It got bad. Like, awful. I was, uh, fourteen? Yeah, fourteen. It was getting worse and worse for the entire school year. It was November. It’s pretty warm in November in Australia. I remember that day way too well.”

“I was already done with my classes, I just wanted to get some books from my locker. Geography and English. I had tests in both this week and I wanted to study at home. They just– they were doing the usual. Not leaving me alone, cracking stupid jokes, pushing me. I snapped. I don’t know why. I never said anything back, maybe that’s why they never stopped. I was an easy target. I just took it all silently and cried about it when no one could hear me at night. But this day it was like– like a dam inside me broke and everything overflowed. I yelled back and I– I slapped one of them. The leader, or whatever. They were furious. I remember every single thing that happened before I passed out, but– I’ll save you the graphic stuff.”

“I woke up in a hospital a week later. Medically induced coma. They had to operate, internal bleeding, or whatever. I lost my spleen that day, by the way. It got damaged due to fore of a punch. Or punches. Who knows. They had to remove it. A few broken ribs, a concussion. No serious brain damage, luckily. Broken arm and a sprained knee. I think I begged the nurse for them to put me to sleep again. I don’t know, I don’t remember. But it hurt so badly.”

“I– After that, I begged my parents to let me move. When I tried to come back to school when the new year started, in late January, I– I couldn’t. I had a panic attack before I even left my mum’s car. She got in contact with Logan’s family. Oh, he visited when I was in the hospital. It was the first time we have seen each other in real life. I kind of hate the fact that his first memory of me is in a hospital bed. But I remember I– It was the first time I didn’t feel alone. I still felt lonely. I knew he would go back to America, and it still wasn’t even an option for me to move there. They finally agreed, though. I was so relieved. And so– scared.”

“I was afraid it would repeat. I was afraid if Logan would get to know me better, he would hate me. I would have nightmares about him becoming the same as– them. It kind of was, and is, a topic we never talk about. Though, he wouldn’t leave my side for the first year. I think you remember that. He would ask me if you are fine and if I have no problems with you, like, every week.”

“You were the first person I didn’t feel lonely with. And it scared me, you know? Because it was unusual. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that way. To feel appreciated and welcome and– I was so scared of it. Of you. Of us. I still am. I still don’t understand it. I don’t understand why would you want me. Even as a friend. And as– as something more? It was supposed to be me being stupidly in love with the boy I could never have. Not you liking me. It was never supposed to happen, and I don’t– I don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand it all too” Lando whispered, not even hiding the fact he was full on in tears right now. He just wanted to hug Oscar tightly and never let him be hurt again. He wanted to invent a time machine just to never let it all happen.

Suddenly the huge scar on Oscar’s stomach made sense. Suddenly it made sense why he said that yes, he had broken a bone in the past, but when asked to explain (they expected a funny story. Like Alex’s arm, or Charles’ leg) he just brushed it off and refused to tell them. It made sense why Oscar was always so polite, why he always made sure that everyone felt loved, appreciated, comfortable. It all made sense. All the little quirks Oscar had, that Lando couldn’t really put together. It all clicked. It was like a missing puzzle.

“I don’t understand why would anyone be like that at all. And especially to you. Because Oscar I– Look, I’m not good with words. I would love to write you long poems. I would want to tell you that you are like a gift from the universe, or like the songs that birds sing in the morning. That you are like the love I read about in romance books. That I feel something huge and– you know what I mean, right? This, like, big bedazzled type of love. I think what I feel towards you is so much better. It’s like– normal. You are like the smell of coffee in the morning, I only think about you when I feel it. Like the smell of freshly mown grass. The feeling when you are driving with your tank full, on an empty road, a series of green lights ahead you. You are driving, and on the radio they are playing a song of one of the underrated bands you really love. Like the silent hum of vinyls in the mornings, I learnt that habit from you. Like the sound of rain hitting against concrete. You are everything that makes life worth living, the small things you love about it. You are– you know, in this normalcy, you are like, something impossible to describe. Your eyes remind me of autumn afternoons with a warm blanket and hot chocolate, your hands feel like spring welcoming you after a long winter full of cold. Your voice is deep and hoarse in a way you think of the coldest nights of winter, and your skin smells like the last few days of summer. I love you so much and–”

“Lando” Oscar cried out, trying to wipe the tears off his face. “How– why– I just told you why you shouldn’t even look at me. And you just– you just say that as if– as if everyone before didn’t feel disgusted just by the fact I breathed. How can you say that and–”

“Because it’s true” he insisted, putting one of his hands on Oscar’s cheek, gently ensuring that the younger boy would look at him. “I know love won’t fix things. You need years of therapy, probably. But I’m– I’m here to make it better. The others are too. But I don’t think I should bring them up when I’m trying to confess. Fuck.”

“Technically, you already confessed” Oscar laughed quietly.

“Oh don’t get sassy with me, Pastry” Lando rolled his eyes affectionately, still holding Oscar’s face. “What I want to say is– I’ll gladly be with you. Through everything. Forever. Forever feels scary when you are only a teenager but– but it feels less scary with you. We don’t have to think about forever now, thought. If you’d want to– I still want to kiss you.”

Sure, they were both scared. Lando mostly of how much he didn’t know about Oscar up until now. Of what would happen if he failed to make it better. Oscar of how weird it feels to be known like this, of how he never told this to anyone who hasn’t been with him already back then. But, it felt less scary together.

“Just shut up and do it.”