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Your name is Rose Maryam-Lalonde, and for some unbeknownst reason to you, your wife is upset with you.
Usually, it'd be quite easy to decipher the problem by this point, from the fruits of years of being entangled in an ever-burning intimate amour, you two have become closely attuned to each other. From a few fleeting moments of mentally backtracking what could've possibly sparked the irk, you two were quick to rectify the issue, with a bouquet of flowers and long, private talks within the chambers of your room, inevitably melting into less comprehensible words and into breathy utterances of one another's names. But this time, you were a single burning light in a vast darkness.
Kanaya's sudden exasperation erupted without warning yesterday, with no visible window of precluding the situation, completely stranding you dumbfounded. You, for the most part, tried ignoring this; sidestepping the brimming air when your beautiful wife, hair gorgeously mussed, entered the kitchen, by lacing your arms around her waist and peppering kisses from her shoulder before moving to the space in her neck where you know she loves your lips at. But Kanaya doesn't falter, merely just unhooks your arms so she's free of you, and prepares breakfast for herself. You don't mind serving yourself cereal for this morning, but something about the way she neglects to kiss you good morning roughly chafes against your heart.
You certainly can't do without that, so you suppose you'll have to earn it then.
"Good morning." You start off simple, leaning your back against the counter as you watch your wife drop two chocolate chip waffles into the toaster.
"Morning." Kanaya replies nonchalantly, not even bothering to pass you a look over her shoulder. She doesn't wipe away the print of your black lipstick stapled on her dark gray skin however, which you shamelessly latch onto for ease and comfort in your mind.
"Any plans for today?"
God, this small talk is excruciatingly awkward to make happen, as if you're leisurely twisting the knife you self-impaled into your stomach cavity. With Kanaya as your audience, though, you would gladly keep your hand wrapped around the knife's handle and continue your own torture if there was a possible chance she'd find it quite silly in some morbid way and crack a small smile on her countenance. But Kanaya seems to refuse the obvious attempt at small talk, as with a shrug of her shoulders and carefully laying out her waffles on her plate, she only regards you with very few words again.
"Nothing of particular note."
Your brows furrow. Kanaya, please.
"You're rather succinct and irritable today, darling." you don't mean for your tone to sound too snarky, which it rings out into the room without conscious effort, and you bite your tongue. You're fairly sure Kanaya would still give you an icy look regardless of your tone, as she does now. You're almost embarrassed that in spite of the urgency of the situation, you can't help but intrusively think about how attractive she appears when she's mad.
"Frankly, I'm astonished you even took notice." Kanaya deadpans, as she spreads a layer of butter over her waffles. You quirk up a brow in response.
"What do you mean?"
"You should be perfectly aware of what I mean."
You genuinely aren't sure what it is your wife is referring to. It wasn't a tendency for you to ignore when Kanaya looked particularly distraught, especially with how she looks now. At times, there were such incidents of accidentally neglecting the other - you can't count how many times Kanaya had shoved her foot so inexplicably far down her throat - but those occasions were incredibly rare, and something neither you nor Kanaya have ever held against each other.
So, with a quiet sigh, you're fairly sure this has to be something new, something of which Kanaya apparently doesn't want to communicate to you outrightly at the moment. Wonderful.
"Maybe I'll become better acclimated to the issue at hand that I'm supposedly aware of if you just remind me of what misdeed I did that made you upset?" your tone is audibly thick in sarcasm, and after such years of being constantly around the other and bleeding into each other, your wife has certainly become more than skilled in detecting any insincerity in your voice.
"Is this one of your attempts again at trying to appear irresistibly charming at an inappropriate time in order to effectively sway my attention away from the matter at hand and avoid being scolded?"
She's treating you as if you were some petulant wiggler now. You mean petulant human child.
"I'm fairly sure you're the one guilty of that misdemeanor here, darling."
Kanaya puffs out an amused breath.
"You're being so fucking ridiculous, I'm having immense trouble in even taking you seriously," Kanaya grimaces, and before you could even rise to her words, she shakes her head and takes her plate away from the kitchen. "You know what, suddenly this entire conversation feels incredibly pointless and petty."
"Kanaya!" But she doesn't make a stop, continuing back to your shared bedroom of which you're sure she's going to make her personal chamber for the rest of the morning.
You stand in the kitchen, alone, with only the company of your own swirling, baffled thoughts and your cat, a rather new addition to your little family, Earl of the Stars, whom you and Kanaya just call Earl for short, pads towards you with a meow of oblivion and asking for his breakfast.
You think you might need Strider Meddling.
tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
TT: Dave, I need your help, in a post-haste manner.
TT: And since I can already sense your small chuff of amusement and preparing to write a long winded paragraph that ultimately dissolves into a nonsensical conversation that's not even remotely broaching the imminent topic at hand, no, I'm not trying to participate in some ironic sitcom inspired familial feelings jam.
TT: I really do need your help.
TG: i wasnt even thinking you were yanking my chain on asking for help on something first off
TG: i was getting my pens ready and fucking sharp while i cross my legs professionally to really sell that pompous school counselor tool that takes his job at talking to a bunch of middle schoolers about their melodrama at recess a little too seriously
TG: but now that youre actually clarifying it im sort of thinking youre trying to do some psychological reverse bullshit on me to make me think youre fucking around
TT: Oh my god.
TT: Dave, this is serious.
TG: is it
TG: hmmm
TG: says the businessman as he squints like hes trying to solve a complex puzzle at the distressed street clown begging to be taken seriously while hes dressed up in a whimsical fit and a perky codpiece to complete his shitty lunatic wardrobe
TT: It's about Kanaya.
TG: oh
TG: okay so then whatever this is about is extremely fucking serious okay got it
TT: She's insolubly angry with me.
TG: what happened
TG: did you forget to do the dishes on the night it was your round or something
TT: I don't know!
TT: She won't even directly graze the issue enough for an opportunity to open on piecing together my apparent grave fuck-up.
TT: I'm afraid it's another tactical omission situation.
TG: what she does best
TT: Which I utterly adore, but it's certainly not as charming when it's horridly impacting our marriage and wringing at its neck.
TT: And I'm just completely lost on where to place a wary step here, in fear of any new developments on the predicament simply just being implosion.
TG: is the implosion supposed to be like
TG: divorce
TT: No!!!
TT: God, don't say that.
TG: rose shes not going to divorce you shes literally obsessed with you just as much as you are with her
TG: jesus christ
TG: i dont know how youre not suffocated from your own relationship anxiety at this point
TT: You're the one who suggested it!
TG: yeah but im not kanaya am i
TG: im not serving you papers im serving you a steaming bowl of calm the fuck down for a second
TG: so kanayas upset with you
TG: backtrack to see what the fuck up mightve been
TT: I've been doing that, but each recollection just turns up fruitless.
TG: how long has she been mad at you
TT: Since yesterday morning.
TG: okay
TG: and the day before that what happened
TT: Nothing eventful took place that day, either. Kanaya passed on any visits to the brooding caverns that day, and she insisted we go about town.
TT: We ended up just walking around aimlessly, before we decided that became exceedingly boring for the both of us.
TT: Then, when we arrived home, she was sort of... waiting around, almost. For something interesting to happen, I think.
TT: That kind of air about her was present all day, actually.
TG: wait oh god
TG: this isnt a sex talk trap is it
TG: god fucking damn it rose dont tell me the whole issue here is that you guys arent getting on your freaky interspecies game often enough
TT: I can assure you, it's definitely not that.
TT: There's never a night where either of us go to bed unsatisfied.
TG: dont you fucking wink behind your screen
TT: Whatever do you mean, Dave?
TG: goddamn it i can literally feel my fucked up brother senses procured by those three years on that dark ass meteor tingling that youre rapidly winking your eye like you got a piece of debris stuck in there
TT: ;)
TG: jesus fucking christ
TT: Okay, enough of this.
TT: I can't really get any enjoyment out of our usual banter here when I'm currently fretting about the possibility of my marriage being in jeopardy over something I'm not even completely aware of and don't have an inch of light shed on.
TG: man honestly
TG: just buy her flowers or something
TT: Just flowers? That's it?
TG: yeah
TG: i dunno what other relationship wisdom you were hoping to get out of me here
TT: Well, you were particularly helpful on the meteor when Kanaya and I were first navigating our budding feelings!
TT: Whatever it was that fueled your "relationship wisdom" back then, it's sorely needed now. Please.
TG: alright im feeling kind of sorry for you at this point so i guess ill spare you some relationship secrets i have shoved up my ass
TG: dont tell anyone else this shit k
TG: you just know johns gonna blabber this shit out like hes found the golden ticket to willy wonkas fruity rumpus snitch factory
TG: i have it locked down on some maximum strider protection with time travelling daves at every corner guarding that shit like its the goddamn president of nu-america
TG: shits so nostalgic looking at all those different daves at different points in time its bringing a tear to my eye
TT: Please hurry it up.
TT: Like I said, nonsensical conversations that sways away from the urgency here.
TG: fuck fine
TG: heres my ultimate secret
TG: you ready
TG: its
TG: have common sense and talk to kanaya and find out yourself what shes upset about
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
TT: Gee, thanks.
You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose with exasperation. That ended up being incredibly pointless. Just buy flowers, he said, as if going to the flower shop was the simplest trick in the book in successfully waving away whatever relationship issues arose. Well that, and talking to her; but you're fairly sure a bouquet isn't going to be enough to quell the smolder of your wife's anger when you admit you have utterly no fucking clue what she's upset about.
You suppose you could try to build off Dave's somewhat helpful (you're trying to believe in him here) advisory. Maybe you could prepare dinner before she arrives back from the caverns, put in genuine effort like how it used to be when you two were just dating.
You stare blankly at your screen. Is that why Kanaya is upset?
Have you been a neglectful wife? Are you not wooing her as much anymore, giggling with addicting adrenaline like two naughty children as you two tiptoed around your relationship, the excitement of something so new and incredible and practically almost forbidden in Karkat's eyes.
Now, in the world you've made with your friends, you and Kanaya have settled into a mundane life style, a foreign experience for the both of you but a welcomed experience. But you suppose there was still straws of issues poking out of your happy ever after, as with every one of your friends.
You just want to make your wife happy. So, with a quick change of your clothes and locating the nearest flower shop, you're determined to make that happen.
***
In all fairness, you really should've remembered you weren't good at cooking, decent at not fully burning tomato soup at best, but attempting a full course dinner? As such, you stare at the rather dry pan of chicken with disdain. Perhaps slathering it in the sweet and tangy barbecue sauce you have stored in the fridge will mask the horrid result of your attempt at cooking a chicken. After dinner was situated, you move onto generously sprinkling rose petals leading from the front to the kitchen, swallowing down any embarrassment eating at you at the cliche, before fiddling with the grand flower bouquet you purchased for Kanaya. You have candles, ready to light, placed on the dining and coffee table, with store-bought cherry cheesecake for dessert (along with a small vial of blood you've pricked from your own finger, so Kanaya can drizzle it as much as she likes on her slice of cheesecake).
You made sure to pick out particularly exotic flowers you remembered Kanaya mentioned having a liking to, ones of which she hasn't planted yet in her garden. You also added a single purple rose in the middle of the bouquet, the most important detail. You're extremely sure she'll love it.
You hope she'll like it.
Speaking of which, you better message Kanaya to make sure she's coming straight home.
tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
TT: Hi there.
TT: I presume you're free enough from Mother Grub obligations by now to participate in a conversation with me?
GA: Yes
GA: I Just Finished A Few Seconds Ago
TT: Okay, great.
TT: ...
TT: How was your time at the caverns today?
GA: It Was
GA: Fine
GA: A Little Boring Honestly
GA: Two Wigglers Had Hatched Today
GA: The Violetblood Hatchmates I Mentioned A Few Weeks Ago
GA: If Thats Anything
GA: Remotely Interesting
TT: That's fantastic.
GA: The Mother Grub Had Also Laid Another Mutated Bronze Egg Today
TT: Oh? Haven't there been four grubs born with some varying mutation these last two months?
GA: Yeah
GA: It Does Beg To Question The Sincerity Of Alternias Alleged Rarity Of Grubs With Some Sort Of Biological Defect
GA: As Morbid As That Sounds
GA: They Were Likely Just Utilized For Grub Sauce And Paint Material
GA: Of Course This Isnt Really Surprising
GA: Taking Other Loathsome Aspects Of Alternia Into Account
TT: Well, thank goodness we're Earth C's bestowed matriarchs for the brooding caverns.
GA: Yeah
GA: Actually
GA: A Grub Had Latched Himself Onto My Dress Today
GA: I Thought His Tenacity Was Pretty Cute And Charming
GA: But That Became Less So When He Practically Turned
GA: Immovable
GA: And Required Two Other Pairs Of Hands To Carefully Pluck Him Off
TT: What a poor grub.
GA: To Be Honest
GA: I Dont Think I Would Have Mind
GA: Bringing Him Home With Me
GA: He Had Ridiculously Large Horns For His Young Age
GA: It Was Adorable
TT: ...
GA: But Uhm
GA: I Know Its Perhaps
GA: Not The Right Time Yet
GA: For Our Family To Come To Fruition
GA: Uh
GA: Anyways What Have You Been Doing
TT: Oh, right.
TT: Speaking of whatever I've possibly been up to, which is classified for now, you don't happen to have any detours to make before you arrive back to our humble abode, do you?
GA: No
TT: Fantastic.
TT: I eagerly await your arrival then.
GA: As You Always Do
TT: Shoosh!
TT: I'll see you soon, ma chérie.
tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
GA: Wait I Wanted To Talk About What Happened This Morning
GA: Augh God Damn It
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]
When Kanaya eventually arrives home, the sound of the door clicking shut sends shivers down your spine, as you quickly tug at your tie to make another quick check of its perfection on your purple suit. Kanaya, of course, is immediately taken aback at the sudden shift of mood in the house, looking wide eyed at the lit candles, the plated dinner with chicken drowned in barbecue sauce, and she especially gawks at the extravagant bouquet held in your arms. You give her a smile and bat your eyes.
"Welcome home, Kanaya."
Kanaya just stares at you in a blend between perplexed and flattered, her flourished jade green eyes flitting from the dining table then back to you. Slowly, she reaches for the flowers, as if she was reaching out towards something dangerous. However, once the bouquet was in her hands and after examining each individual flower with great interest, Kanaya's eyes immediately lit up, and with coincidence, so did yours.
"Oh, Rose," Kanaya grins, carefully caressing the purple rose in the middle with stars in her eyes. "Did you really sort through my garden just to take into account which flowers I hadn't planted yet?"
"Of course. I didn't want to get you anything repetitive, so I made very sure I purchased you a bouquet that was entirely foreign."
Kanaya hums, appreciating every flower comfortably nestled, then when she looks at you, your breath gets caught in the middle of your throat. Kanaya moves closer to you and leans down, pressing her lips to the corner of your mouth, before you move your head a bit so that way you caught her lips properly in a kiss.
You sling your arms around her shoulders, twirling your fingers into the short hairs on the nape of her neck, as Kanaya holds you by your waist with her free arm. You would've gladly took things further and just get straight on with it - your bedroom, the couch, hell, you don't even mind just swiping off the plates and glasses off the table - but Kanaya pulls away all too soon.
This time, instead of the utterly adoring expression on Kanaya's face, you're met with a more serious look. You attempt to shift the attention immediately.
"Well," you clap your hands together. "Shall we get started on dinner-"
"Rose," Kanaya starts, and the tone of her voice makes you swallow dryly. "I want to talk about what happened. Please."
You chew the inside of your cheek.
Right.
"Right." You tell her.
"Rose, we need to."
You sigh. "I know."
It's quiet for a moment, likely before the storm. Kanaya settles the bouquet in its jar on the table, then swivels all of her focus on you, the romantic air dramatically dampening into a gloom feeling.
"Rose, I just want you to be earnest with me," Kanaya's voice sounds so desperate, begging, and it chafes against every sensitive spot within you. "Do you even know why I'm immeasurably upset with you?"
"I..." you slide your sweaty palms against the material of your suit. "No."
Kanaya blinks her eyes at you. Then, in an instant, something in Kanaya explodes, just as something in you curls up and rots.
"Are you fucking serious?" Kanaya spits out, a clawed hand coming up to stressfully bunch up her silky black hair. "Rose, you completely forgot our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary!"
"...What?"
"You forgot and you couldn't even be tipped off out of your own volition!!"
You hover your hand in front of your mouth, knitting your brows together as you horrifically stare down at the floor. How could you have forgotten about your anniversary, your twenty-fifth anniversary with your wife of twenty five years.
"Oh god," you breathe out. "Kanaya I - I genuinely didn't mean to omit our anniversary - you know I wouldn't have intentionally forgotten! What I've done for you now should be evident of that!"
"Yes, you've put in astounding effort into this evening which I'm not attempting to minimize! I am wooed, Rose, but that doesn't automatically eliminate the fact you just somehow forgot our anniversary! Perhaps the most important date for us of the year!"
"Well, if you noticed I had completely forgot about the utmost significant date of our relationship and was ignorantly standing around that entire day, you should've reminded me then, Kanaya."
Kanaya releases a stressful 'argh', her fangs incredibly bared. "I shouldn't have to do that, Rose! You don't seem to even remotely understand that somehow! I shouldn't have to remind you of that!"
"I'm trying!"
"Well your effort in doing so is horrendously fucking minimal!"
You both immediately go quiet. Your lips are tightly shut in a straight line, and you imagine your face appearing quite cold, unreadable, like how Dave used to be. You don’t think you can squeeze out a rebuttal, even if you had one charged up within you and ready to erupt from your mouth like a volcano; the way her voice sounds, so incredibly distressed and crisp because of you, it stabs pins in your heart like a beating pin cushion.
“I feel as though we’ve been tethered to just one stage - this stage - of our relationship for so long, since after we officially became married,” there's a bit of waver in Kanaya's voice, as usually what happens when Kanaya gets particularly angry, high emotions unintentionally leading to an uncontrollable dam of tears.
You already know what Kanaya is about to bring up before she says it in the air.
"How many more years are we going to prolong on putting off having children, Rose."
You look off to the side, something straining within you at just the mere mention. You know Kanaya wants to have children, for quite some time now, but more often than not you two have successfully, albeit in an awkward manner, danced around from engaging deeply about the topic with each other. It's a horrifying subject for you, a confusing subject, a topic that brings intrusive memories of your mother and your lonely home on Rainbow Falls.
Kanaya thinks she's ready, wants to believe she is, but you...
"I don't think I'm ready, Kanaya."
"Will you ever be?"
You don't know and you aren't sure. You want to give your wife children, you really, really do, but you just aren't sure about the idea in the long run. Suddenly, you find yourself uncertain about a multitude of things. What if you ultimately decide that you never want children? What would Kanaya do?
Will she become similarly uncertain, with her ultimate decision being to leave you? What if that's what she's contemplating now? Your eyes feel wet and your ears feel hot.
Before you even realize a small sniffling noise had slipped past your painted lips, Kanaya is suddenly holding you in her arms, her hand clutching the back of your hair as she presses you against her chest in the most comfortable embrace you've ever experienced, and you hug her back tightly, your own tears dribbling out from your eyes without the consent of your hubris. But it doesn't matter, you don't care if you appear like such a mess, just as Kanaya is right now, because the only person you'd ever be willing to show such a vulnerable part of you towards is Kanaya, your wife, your best friend.
"Are you breaking up with me?" you choke out, because if you're left in the dark any further about Kanaya's feelings, you think you're going to explode. Kanaya cups your face in her hands, staring at you with a green tear streaked face as she attempts to brush away your tears with her thumbs, which promptly makes you do the same in drying her own tears the best you can.
"No," Kanaya shakes her head, and you feel so lightheaded and relieved at hearing that. "Rose, as hyperbolic as this may sound, but that has never crossed my thinkpan."
"Never?" you ask, with a bit of a chuckle.
"Yes, miraculously, I have somehow never been tempted by the visualization of leaving you." Kanaya reassures you, and you bury your nose in her shoulder, breathing in her lavender scent.
"Well, thank goodness," you smile at her, through your teary eyes, as Kanaya looks at you as if your horribly tear smeared face is the most prettiest she's ever seen you. She kisses your cheek, letting her lips slide across your brown skin to under your jaw. You sigh as you close your eyes. "I really do feel like I don't deserve you, Kanaya."
"I can't imagine living out the rest of my rainbow drinker given immortality with anyone," Kanaya says, her breath light against your face. "So undeserving or not, I'm afraid you're stuck with me. Like a moth to a lamp, almost. Haha."
You let out an amused huff - your silly, silly wife.
You bring the back of her hand to your lips and press a tender kiss.
"Kanaya… I really am sorry. For idiotically failing to remember our anniversary, that I've officially been married to you for twenty five years now," you tell her, as Kanaya leans slightly down enough to press your foreheads together. "I really don't have any justifiable excuses to explain that omission. And that sort of sucks."
"Yes, right, your hubris." Kanaya laughs, and it's like living in the sweet aftermath of a horrific event. Gazing into a still, calm pool after enduring miles and miles of a sweltering desert.
“I’ll filet my own hubris like a swordfish with my wands if I have to in order to admit I’m really happy you want to work this out with me,” your cheeks suddenly feel flushed and hot to the touch again. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Kanaya replies in a gentle tone.
You stay quiet for a few moments longer, the scent of the air becoming a pleasant cinnamon smell from the candles.
"I'm also still apprehensive about how to approach the, uhm," you sniff sharply. "Very delicate subject about... about having children."
Kanaya sighs, and for the life of you, you're unable to read her expression. You lean closer into Kanaya.
"We don't have to open that impenetrable book right now."
"But I’m willing to,” you plead to her, holding her pointed ear in your hand. “If you’d like to, that is.”
Kanaya hums, taking one more look at the dinner you set up on the table that’s undoubtedly cold by now, the ice in your drinks melted in the juice contents and diluting the flavor. Her eyes go back to you, and your breath hitches when you feel your wife’s hand touch your posterior perhaps a little too suspiciously amorously, as she gives you an innocent fanged smile.
“We can grapple with the reality of that some other time,” she murmurs, tugging you slightly by your tie. “Right now, I think I’d rather have your earnest apology for fortuitously forgetting our anniversary in a form that’s in complete lack of any coherent words.”
Lucky for Kanaya, the desire for as little intelligible words as possible is immediately granted, as you kiss her fiercely with one hand wrapped around her horn, pressing against her greedily. Kanaya sweeps you into her arms, shoving her head into your neck to lay a litany of kisses and allowing her fangs to tickle your most sensitive areas, which causes you to erupt in childish giggles, likely only provoking Kanaya to continue doing so. Kanaya hovers you over towards the dining table for a second so you can blow away the flickering light of the candles (don’t want an irresponsible house fire to interrupt any minute of your moment, much less when you’re so horribly busy under Kanaya to even pay attention to any fire alarm signals), and then she quickly shuffles up the stairs, carrying you in her arms while you plant smeared lipstick marks on her neck and shoulder.
You’re sure Earl will have just as much of a splendid time picking at the abandoned barbecue slathered chicken dinner as you and Kanaya will with the reconciliation in your bedroom.