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Thalia always knew she would outlive her brother. She was okay with that; she came to terms with it back when the two of them were small. When their mother had given Jason to the wolves, leaving her to believe her brother had died in such a tragic way at the young age of two.
At the age of fourteen, she sacrificed herself for newfound friends family. She was okay with that, and when she stood in front of the hoard of monsters chasing them, she knew that she would die, and she was perfectly fine with that. But in that moment, while she was standing tall, ready to lunge into action to save her loved ones, she wasn’t sure what would become of her after she died, but she knew she didn’t care. Not as long as her bumbling, staple eating little brother was there waiting for her so they could be together again.
She didn’t get that chance then.
It wasn’t until she opened her eyes, covered with something soft and warm did she realize what had happened after she fell. And it wasn’t until she saw Annabeth standing just as tall as she had all those years ago did, she realize that time had passed. When she heard of Luke’s betrayal it was like another stab wound into her already pierced through heart. It was like losing Jason all over again. Luke, the boy who had reminded her so much of her little brother if only he had gotten the chance to grow up, had betrayed the camp, betrayed Annabeth, betrayed her . It added a new kind of pain she didn't know was possible.
Later, when she joined the hunters, she felt unstoppable. Surrounded by strong women who were just as much a warrior as she was, ladies that had just as much fight in them as she had. She felt indestructible, like nothing could hurt her, and she was right, well almost anyways.
It felt like the world had blessed her, given her another chance when she heard about Jason being alive. It felt surreal, not only was her brother alive but he was thriving . He held a leadership role within the Roman camp, a camp they didn’t even know existed until now. He had friends, a girlfriend even. He’d grown so much, and she missed all of it, all of his growth was left to be acknowledged by the soldiers and children that surrounded him his whole life, she wasn’t there to acknowledge and cherish the wonder that was her brother alongside them.
It was then, as she looked at the boy in front of her who had all but grown up did, she realize, once again, that she would outlive him. She was immortal in practically every sense of the word. And Jason was a hero, Juno’s champion, she could only sit back and pray that he wouldn’t meet the same untimely fate that so many heroes before him did. But she, like before, was okay with this fact. Jason was young, he still had plenty of time before Thanatos called his soul down to Elysium, they still had time. The time to get to know each other, to be a family again. Even when she was called away by the hunt she was still determined to make up for lost time, she had to, before they didn’t have any time left at all.
When she heard of the news of her brother's death she was crushed. It felt like that fateful day in the park all over again, except there wasn’t a happy twist, her brother wasn’t secretly tucked away in a camp with a hidden faction of demigods. No. This time he was gone, really, truly gone. And it felt as though someone had ripped her world out from under her, like someone was playing some sick version of a joke with no punchline, this was real, and her brother was dead.
What was worse was when she discovered exactly how he met his end. It was a “hero’s death” some called it, sacrificing himself for his companions, a fate worthy of Elysium. But she saw it for what it truly was, a murder. Someone had once again ripped her brother away from her, pierced and speared him through then tossed him aside like he was nothing, a nobody. But he wasn’t nothing, and he was somebody. A somebody who was kind, somebody who was brave and strong and wonderful. Somebody who she had loved dearly, someone who many years ago she thought she would never see again. And now it was real, she would never see him again, would never get to hear his voice, to see his face.
She was devastated to have missed his funeral. She was the only family he had left, and she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there when their mother gave him away, she wasn’t there to watch him learn and grow, she wasn’t there in his final moments, and she definitely wasn’t at his funeral, she wanted to be, but she wasn’t. Her brother, her bright happy bumbling baby brother, was no longer on the same plane as her, and he wouldn’t be for maybe hundreds of years. Jason Grace had met the most honorable death a warrior could, a hero’s fate, but gods did Thalia so desperately wish he hadn’t.