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The slight off-white of the ceiling can be pretty captivating from time to time. It is as if it is a blank canvas for your imagination to work on. Or it is the blank slate of nothingness that often helps you get lost in your brain.
The bland, light, nothingness is somehow comforting, yet, eerie. Familiar, yet, unknown. Home, yet... less captivating than the stars, clouds, colors, and beauty of the night sky. The sky which has been with you through everything, all that you witnessed it has witnessed thousands of times over. And yet, it greats you with new beautiful patterns every time you peek at it, as if it is unaffected by all the horror it has witnessed. It's still here.
Yet, you wish not to be. You have seen less horror and trauma than the beings above, but you wish to leave.
You are weak.
The faint white noise from the fan was all that could be heard from within the bedroom. No sounds of life, movement, anything. Yet, there was someone there. In the small messy room laying flat on their back in the bed.
The ceiling being the most interesting thing to them. They're lost in thought, unaware of the outside world at this moment. Wishing to never go back.
...
A buzzing sound brings them back as they pick up their phone. The caller ID reading a familiar name. The name associated with joy and warmth, the name which contrasts the man in bed.
He stares at the phone unmoving. He decides to wait for it to go to voicemail. After a few more buzzes the a voicemail notification appeared and he clicks on it.
"You have one new voice message, if you would like to li—"
He clicks the button before the robotics voice could finish it's instructions.
"New voice mail" The robot speaks before playing a message.
"Hey, Randy. I was wondering if you wanted to come over for board games night tonight! We're all gonna be there it'll be so gnarly! Send me a message when you get a chance, dude! Hope to see ya there!"
Randy closed the voicemail reader. He thought about the question.
It would be fun to hangout with friends... but...
...
But nothing. There is no reason not to go. Randy loves his friends. He should go.
Why doesn't he want to go?
He stays almost completely motionless thinking about why he wouldn't want to go.
This is the list of reasons why he doesn't want to go:
He doesn't want to bring down the mood, he looks so pathetic and awful right now, he hasn't showered in a week, all his clothes are dirty, and he just... doesn't really feel up to it.
But it would be fun and maybe brighten your mood...
But what if it doesn't...?
The door swings open and a short blonde man with fluffy, curly hair and an eye patch smiles up at Randy.
"Randy!!" The man speaks loudly as he pulls the taller into a tight embrace. Randy was a bit startled, hoping that the other couldn't tell these clothes haven't been washed in god knows how long, but eventually allowed himself to relax in the shorter's embrace.
"H-hey Oliver..." Randy spoke softly as he was brought into the small apartment.
Randy noticed the other three, since Bigfoot was too big to fit in Oliver's apartment, were already here and trying to decide which game to play first. The pile of games on the small table included Uno, Monopoly, Survive, Sorry!, a deck of playing cards, Janga, Trouble and The Settlers of Catan.
Randy also noticed the strong smell of weed and that all the windows in the apartment were open.
"... what about you, Randy?"
Randy shook his head to shake himself from his thoughts. He hadn't realized he had sat down on the floor at the coffee table with everyone else.
"S-sorry... I— what a-are you asking?" Randy mumbled clearly embarrassed.
"Don't worry, Randy. We think we're going to start off with Uno and were wondering how you feel about that." Karen, a woman with brown-ish red-ish hair in a messy bun and a small horse hair clip, explained. She didn't sound annoyed though it was hard to tell due to the flatness of her voice.
"Oh! um! I-I'm okay with that! Y-yeah!" Randy smiled anxiously.
"GNARLY!" Oliver yelled excitedly as he threw his arms in the air.
Randy jumped a bit at Oliver's sudden yell, thankfully no one seemed to notice. Randy watched as the group tried to shuffle the cards until Norm, the oldest in the group, finally had enough of the failed attempts and cards being thrown around as he took the, now, pile of cards and shuffled them properly. The cowboy delt the cards till everyone had seven then flipped the top card on the deck.
The game went on as normal with Randy having to draw way too many cards, Gingi and Oliver arguing about house rules, Karen winning, and Norm having to get Oliver and Gingi to stop arguing by agreeing with one of them. They were going to have a small break in-between each game so everyone could get drinks, snacks, use the bathroom or whatever else they felt like.
Randy was sitting alone on the couch in the livingroom while everybody else had gotten up to go and do things. Randy watched as Oliver went into the kitchen with Norm and Gingi to get snacks and drinks while Karen went to sit on the balcony to relax before the next game.
"Hey man, how'd you like Uno?" Oliver sat down right next to Randy as he asked with a smile.
Randy jumped a bit not expecting Oliver to be back so fast.
"It was f-fine!" Randy replied trying to sound cheerful, " But um... i-it is a bit h-hot in here..." Oliver curiously tilted his head at Randy.
"Dude, you know you have a hoodie on, right?" Oliver asked sounding a bit like he was teasing the taller.
"O-oh—" Randy looked down, "...yeah I f-forgot about that—"
"You can take it off right?" Oliver asked lightheartedly with a grin as if he were joking.
"I think—" Randy began to take it off then noticed the bandages. He immediately pull it back on and held it close.
"Woah—"
"S-sorry— I— um" Randy stuttered out.
"You alright dude? You're acting more strange than usual..." Oliver asked seeming genuinely concerned.
"Um... y-yeah-... yeah just remembered h-how weird I feel without a h-hoodie and I don't wanna t-take it off anymore..." Randy rambled a bit coming up with an excuse.
Oliver seemed to be fine with it as he shifted his attention towards Norm who was holding a tray of snacks. They chatted a bit before Gingi came back with Karen and the began to set up Janga.
Everyone was sitting around the coffee table on the floor, well Norm had a pillow he was sitting on.
Randy felt out of place.
He curled in on himself hugging his knees to his chest while he waited. No one seemed to notice his lack of help or banter while they were trying to set up the game.
Do they even care?
Are they just ignoring me?
What if I just ki—
"Aaaand... Ta-da!! Done!" Oliver smiled as he placed the last blocks of the tower on.
Randy looked up from hiding his face in his knees and decided he should probably join the group before anyone gets mad at him. So he scooted up to the table and accidentally hit his knee on the leg.
The tower fell.
It was Randy's fault and they hadn't even started playing yet. Randy immediately hid his head in his hands with his elbows on the table. He was so embarrassed and ashamed.
"RANDY!!" Gingi yelled clearly upset.
"... s-sorry" Randy mumbled out still hiding his face.
Everyone once again rebuilt the tower but Randy was told to stop helping after he accidentally knocked it over again. He was just trying to place the row of blocks down but his shaky hands ended up accidentally dropping the blocks on the tower causing the top few layers to fall.
Randy groaned and gave up.
"Maybe Janga ain't the best game t' play t'night—" Norm began before Randy interrupted.
"No no— you guys g-go ahead and play! I'm g-gonna go sit outside for a bit!" Randy said not letting anybody object to him leaving as he quickly stood up and went out onto the balcony.
He sat in one of the crappy patio chairs and stared out at the city. The dim streetlights of Uptown flickering occasionally.
Randy sighed as he put his head in his hands before messing up his hair a bit due to being upset with himself. He then flopped back so his back as against the chair as he stared at the sky.
The stars were hidden tonight.
Randy hummed as he slid his hand inside the inner hidden pockets in his classic jean jacket. He took out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He quit smoking a few months back but gosh everything was too stressful right now.
Just one won't hurt...
Randy took the cigarette and held it between his lips as he lit it before taking a long drag. He let out a long sigh as he blew the smoke out of his lungs. Randy was staring off into space as he smoked. He was thinking of everything and nothing all at once.
Randy jumped as he heard the sound of the glass door slide open. He quickly turned and tried to hide his cigarette but then let out a sigh of relief, causing smoke to escape his lungs once more. It was just Norm.
"Randy we..." Norm paused and stepped outside fully before closing the door, "I didn't know ya smoked pardner."
"I-I don't usually..." Randy mumbled before speaking again, "Please d-don't tell Oliver... he'll b-be so upset with me..." Randy looked up at Norm with a pathetic expression.
Norm sat in the other patio chair.
"I won't tell em pardner," Norm shook his head slowly looking down before looking back at Randy, "...if ya don't mind me askin'... why'd e be disappointed in ya, kiddo?" Norm raised an eyebrow.
"Um... W-well- you know how we've kn-known each other for awhile? Well it's b-been since like... highschool and I u-used to smoke all the time back then. L-like at least two o-or three a day." Randy explained avoiding eye contact before he took another drag from his cigarette letting it out as he continued.
"Uh- h-he... he REALLY didn't l-like it when he found out— he said the smell is disgusting a-and he doesn't want m-me to slowly kill myself l-like that in front of him— I like... um... I argued w-with him n stuff... it was b-bad— I-I thought h-he- was gonna stop talking to me a-after—" Randy paused for a few seconds before continuing as if he was struggling to remember.
"He he did f-for a few days— th-then a few more c-cause I felt like an asshole a-and decided to skip school and i-ignore my phone... real mature I-I know..." Randy said sarcastically, "He showed up at m-my house after two days a-and told me he was sorry for y-yelling and then told m-me how much he cares... and" Randy took a final drag off his cigarette before he put it out on his own hand without even thinking.
"Hey! Randy—" Norm raised his voice a bit concerned written all over his face as he grabbed Randy's hands.
Randy then realized his mistake.
"Sh-shit— s-sorry— I... um..." Randy muttered as Norm took the cigarette butt and flicked it over the railing of the balcony.
"No, no, kiddo you're fine, I'm not mad or nothin'" Norm said reassuringly, "Also sorry for interruptin'. You can continue," Norm spoke as he examine the new burn on Randy's hand.
"Um...okay— U-uhm-... Oh yeah— I stopped slowly A-after that. Later on I s-started again- in college when I g-ghosted Oliver... um when w-we reconnected he asked me to s-stop again but this time without an argument a-and we talked a-about why I started again and all that— I actually fully s-stopped again a- a few months ago— i— I don't wanna disappoint him..." Randy finished his story and Norm just nodded.
"Thanks for tellin' me, pardner. Now, let's head back inside and get this sucker patched up before we play anythin' else, alright?" Norm said gently as he stood up and helped Randy up. Randy just nodded looking at the burn himself. Norm lead Randy inside and everyone looked at them.
"Hey, Oliver, where's yer first aid kit, pardner?" Norm asked and Oliver looked a bit surprised.
"Uh in th bathroom. Lemme go get it!" Oliver said without asking any questions before he stood up and ran off to his bathroom.
Norm lead Randy to the kitchen and turned on the sink making sure the water wasn't too hot or too cold. He went to roll Randy's sleeve up but Randy flinched. Randy then looked away and let Norm take care of the burn.
Norm rolled up Randy's sleeve. He noticed the bandages on Randy's arm as he guided the younger's hand under the water. Norm opened his mouth to ask about them before Oliver appeared.
"Here— that looks painful, what happened?" Oliver asked as he handed the first aid kit to Norm.
"Nothin' too bad, pardner, just a small scrape." Norm lied as he took the kit to the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen and opened it up looking though it.
Oliver got closer to Randy and noticed the bandages.
"Hey, Randy...?" Oliver began gently but Randy didn't move. It almost seemed as if the taller was holding his breath.
Oliver really wanted to ask or make sure his friend was okay but he didn't wanna push Randy so he left.
After about ten minutes Norm and Randy returned. Randy had a small bandage that went around his hand and his sleeve was back down.
They say down and Norm began to explain how "The Settlers of Catan" worked. It took a few turns but eventually everyone seemed to understand.
At the end of the game everyone was exhausted from how long it took.
"Y'all want t play anythin' else?" Norm asked as he was the only one seemingly not mentally exhausted.
"Nah, I'm all gamed out for the night I think." Oliver spoke as Randy just nodded in agreement.
Game night has now ended. Oliver offered everyone to stay over for the night but Karen, who Gingi follows around like a duckling, declined as well as Norm. They headed to their cars to drive off.
"Guess it's just us two now, huh buddy?" Oliver smiled mischievously at Randy as he elbowed him.
"A-actually..." Randy began but Oliver quickly shut him down.
"No. You're not leaving, dude. Sorry but I don't want anything bad happening to you on your way home since you don't have a car." Oliver then remembered something else and continued, "Plus! You live all the way downtown, man, there's no way I'm letting you walk all the way there at night. Especially since your apartment is probably the shady-est place ever!"
Randy sighed after he made sure to look away from Oliver.
"I- I mean..." Randy paused trying to think of something but gave up, "Th-thats... that's fair I guess..." Randy lowered his head a bit like a dog that just got in trouble.
Oliver immediately softened and smiled gently as he placed a hand on Randy's shoulder.
"Hey man, don't look so bummed, dude. You get to spend the night at your gnarliest pal's house! We can totally watch movies till we passout on the couch!... if you wanna of course! no pressure, Rad-ny" Oliver's soft expression turned into a smug grin then back into a softer more understanding one as he spoke.
Randy relaxed a bit and smiled slightly.
"I- Th-that- could be fun— j-just-... not one with CGI c-creatures please..." Randy pleaded quietly and Oliver snickered but agreed to Randy's request.
"Alright, man, not CGI creatures like Ratatoing or general CGI like Goat Story this time. Promise. How do you feel about shitty live action movies?"
"What the h-heck—!?" Randy said as the new hit movie "Big Shark" by Tommy Wiseau began.
Oliver began to laugh hysterically at the line delivery of the first scene.
.
.
.
It's been a few days.
Randy still feels miserable. Nothing's changed. No matter what he does, who he talks to, how he distracts himself. It doesn't matter.
he doesn't matter
Randy sighed as he looked down at his slashes up arms covered in cuts. He's out of bandages. He looks next to him at the old bloodied bandages, his blood covered t-shirt he used to stop the bleeding, and his hoodie then back at his scars, scabs, slashes, and scratches. He could also see his bare chest and abdomen. He could see all of his ribs and his hip bones. He focuses back on his cuts and he can see the fat layer of his skin in some of them they're that deep. It's frankly disgusting.
I really need stitches... but I don't even have the fucking money for new bandages... fuck...
Randy put his head in his hands.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The loud sudden knocking at his apartment door startled him. He got up and checked the peephole.
Oliver...
Randy looked back down at his shirtless form and panicked. What the hell was he gonna do?!
"Uh.. J-just a second!" He yelled through the door and ran to his room to find something to hide his arms.
Randy found an oversized dark blue hoodie and slipped it on before running back to the door and opening it.
"Hey man! I—" Oliver spoke before cutting himself off, "Woah dude, are you okay? you look awful..." Oliver said looking up at Randy.
Randy hasn't showered in awhile so his hair was greasy, tangled and messy. He also hadn't shaved so his shitty scraggly facial hair was growing back. He also hasn't slept well for the past few weeks so the bags under his eyes were worse than even just a few days ago.
"Th-thanks..." Randy mumbled sarcastically as he let Oliver in.
"Oh— wait— no I didn't mean it like that dude I'm sorry!" Oliver realized how what he said was kinda rude.
Randy just shrugged.
"Wh-why are you here...?" Randy mumbled sounding a bit more annoyed than he intended as he hugged himself.
Oliver sat on the couch and grabbed his bag from over his shoulder and opened it looking through it. Randy just awkwardly stood there feeling as if he didn't even belong in his own apartment.
"Norm wanted me to come check on you! I tried calling but you never answered." Oliver spoke as he took a first-aid kit out of his bag.
Before Oliver could say anything about why he has the first-aid kit Randy put his hands out in front of him and waved them backing up slightly.
"N-no no I'm okay I don't n-need—" Randy almost tripped over the trash in his floor.
"Dude, hey, take a deep breath—"
"Y-you should leave you h-have w-work"
Oliver got up and walked towards Randy who stepped back.
"Go." Randy spoke sounding both terrified and mad at the same time.
Randy immediately regretted his word as Oliver froze and had a look of shock and guilt in his face. He immediately packed his stuff up and left. Randy wanted to say something, to apologize, but he couldn't get his words out.
as soon as the door closed Randy fell to his knees and began to sob.
.
.
.
It's been a few days.
Randy's been ignoring all messages and attempts to contact him by his friends because he's scared he might hurt them again. He doesn't wanna hurt them.
Randy stared at his notebook. His shaky hands barely even able to write anything legible but he was trying. He decided to give it a read.
Dear Oliver,
I'm really sorry about this. I'm sorry I'm so selfish. I'm sorry I'm such a jerk. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up. I'm sorry I can't quit smoking. I'm sorry I'm an alcoholic I don't hang out enough.
You shouldn't have to put up with me. With my problems. With my stupidity.
Ya know, I've always really admired you, you're ability to not let the world fuck up your life, your kindness, selflessness, silliness, positivity, and so much more. Like your ability to make every situation better or how you can light up a dark room no matter how dense the darkness is. I've always been to much of a coward to admit it but I think I like you. As more than a friend I mean. I know by the time you read this it'll be too late for me to know how you feel about this but it's something I've been holding onto for a long time. Since we started talking again.
You've always been there for me. I've tried to be there for you but I'm not the best at helping people out. We both know that. At least now I can't make anything worse that it already it! I know I know I shouldn't joke about that but it's true now, isn't it? I won't bring everyone's moods down, I won't gross people out, I won't accidentally make things about me, I won't ruin anything anymore. I'm fixing things.
I'm sorry,
Randal (Randy) Valentine Jade
(p.s. now you know what the V stands for ;])
He made sure there weren't any gramatical errors because that's the last thing he wants to be remembered for. And he sighs. He tears the page out and stuffs it in an envelope with Oliver's name on it. After that he places it in a pile with an envelope with everyone else's names on them.
He looks to the gun next to him on his desk, the razors next to it, the empty alcohol bottles.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"...fuck" Randy sighs under his breath as he gets up and sluggishly makes his way to the front door.
He opens it.
"Whaddya want?" He mumbles words slurring together a bit.
He realized Oliver and Norm were both here.
"Oh..." Randy mumbled again as he saw the serious looks on their faces.
"We're worried about you, man," Oliver spoke his voice soft.
"m fine..." Randy muttered rolling his eyes.
"Pardner, you sure as hell don't sound fine." Norm spoke up.
"M j-just a lil tired... s all..." Randy replied blankly.
"Dude, you wreak of alcohol." Oliver said voice less soft this time.
Randy didn't say anything he just went back inside before closing his door. He went into his room and threw the gun, notes, bottles, and razors into a drawer and made sure all the bloody bandages were thrown away before he came back to the front door.
"F-fine cmon in..." Randy mumbled letting the two in.
Randy had kinda zoned out for a minute but once he zoned back in Norm was in the kitchen making soup with ingredients he brought himself and Oliver was sitting with Randy on the couch.
Suddenly Randy wakes up in his bed. He feels sick. His head hurts. Randy got up and steadied himself as he exited his bed room. He looked in the living room to find Oliver fast asleep on the couch with the TV on in the background. Randy huffed before he went to the bathroom.
He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. Gosh he looks awful. Before he could even grab his brush to try and detangle the mess that was his hair, he felt himself gag and he immediately dropped to his knees and leaned over the toilet.
Suddenly everything he has eaten that day was now escaping his body. It burned so bad. The taste of vomit, vodka, and soup was not a good mix and only caused him to vomit more. He heard footsteps and looked over to see Oliver in the doorway. He didn't flick the light on, thankfully, but he came over and gently held Randy's hair back while rubbing Randy's back as he continued to empty his stomach.
Randy was panting in-between each wrech. And letting out small pathetic sobs after every pant.
It hurts so much. Why does it have to hurt?
"Hey," Oliver's voice came though the silence gentle, sweet, and careful, "Take a few deep breaths if you can, rand, I know it's hard especially when you're throwing up. Just try, okay? It might help."
Randy tried but his breaths would stutter and he would gag his body forcing nothing out but doing the reflex as if it's getting poison out. Randy could feel Oliver's hand that was rubbing his back pause when he felt Randy's spine. Randy shivered as he felt Oliver hand meet his spine.
"Randy..." Oliver spoke so soft and his voice was full of pitty.
After a few more minutes of Randy's body trying to force nothing out of relaxed and he was panting, catching his breath. Oliver grabbed a ball of toilet paper.
"Face me," Oliver spoke still so soft.
Randy followed the instructions and he faced the shorter. Oliver gently wiped Randy's mouth with the toilet paper then tossed it into the toilet. Oliver helped Randy up making sure he was steady before flushing the toilet and helping Randy to his bed.
"I'm gonna get you some water real quick—"
"I d-don't have any..." Randy mumbled looking down at his blanket.
"Norm brought some water bottles for you earlier, they're in the fridge and have been for a few hours at least so they should be nice and cold now." Oliver spoke with a smile.
Randy just nodded still refusing to make eye contact. Oliver came back with a fresh water bottle. He opened it then put the lid back on so Randy didn't have to struggle to get the lid off. Randy took a sip and sighed. It helped get the vile taste of vodka soup vomit out of his mouth.
Oliver sat down on the edge of the bed gently smiling at Randy.
"Good?" Oliver asked.
Randy nodded as he took another sip. He then hugged his knees to his chest.
"Now, are you good, Randy?" Oliver ask gently clearly worried about his friend.
"I... that sounds l-like an oxymoron..." Randy weakly chuckled.
Oliver titled his head not seeming to understand.
"I-I mean... Wh-when have I ever b-been good, Oliver? R-Randy and good a-are- almost as opposite and black and white..." Randy explained his joke.
Oliver only seemed to get more concerned.
"Rand—"
"L-last time I was actually s-stable was wh-when I was probably about four! Everything just keeps getting w-worse and worse and worse a-and—" Randy was cut off by Oliver suddenly grabbing his face which honestly scared Randy.
"Hey. Dude. Listen." Oliver's voice became stern as he held Randy's face, "You listening?" Oliver asked and Randy just nodded. Oliver let go of the taller's face after that.
"The past is in the past, you can't change it. But you know what you can change? You can change your future, dude. You can make your life better! Stellar even! You just gotta put in some effort. Might be a lot of hard work, talking, therapy, help, and all that gnarly stuff but it'll get better. No matter how bad it may seem right now. I promise."
Yeah. It'll be better when it's fucking over.
"Ya dig?"
"...yeah.. S-sure"
.
.
.
"Hey Oliver? Wh-what's something of mine th-that- that um..." Randy paused thinking of what he was trying to say as he leaned against the scare shack's front desk, "...uh l-like that m-makes you think of me? I-in a good way—"
Oliver seemed a bit confused at first but then went into deep thought.
"Hmm... if I had to choose one thing, assuming you're not a thing, um... probably your jacket! Can I ask why?" Oliver raised an eyebrow.
"O-Oh I was j-just- curious... thinking about l-like... what do p-people see as my thing?" Randy said very unconvincingly. Oliver just shrugged it off.
Randy was tightly gripping the bathroom counter as he breathed heavily tying not to scream. Around him was a large puddle of blood. His arms covered in deep, deep, deep gashes.
That however wasn't why he was trying not to scream. The pain numbed awhile ago.
No, he was spiraling.
Thinking about how selfish he is. How horrible he is. How obnoxious he must be. How pathetic he is. How much of a good for nothing loser he is.
how he wished he could just disappear.
yeah. that sounds nice.
He looks down at his gash and blood covered arms they look like little valleys or deep sea trenches, if the ocean was blood. What kind of creatures would swim though these seas? through his veins. through him.
broken ones.
Randy grabs his blade he ripped from a shaving razor, slicing all of his fingers and finger tips in the process, and finds a place on his arm that isn't revealing his deepest layers of skin. He takes the blade and holds it above his targeted area before harshly, swiftly, and with a lot of pressure, swiping it across the area. He had closed his eyes for the impact.
He paused, eyes still closed, once he felt something weird. He also heard what sounded like a rhythmic garden hose spraying water everywhere.
He opens his eyes and...
Oh. Holy shit.
He sees blood spurting out of his arm as if it were being pumped out. After a moment he realized it was in sync with his heart beat.
"...ffuck..." he slurred.
What is he supposed to do here? He can't afford a doctor. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do.
After he sat on the floor, due to feeling faint, he pulled out his phone and tried his best not to cover it in his blood. He typed in Oliver's number shakily.
The sound of the phone trying to connect to Oliver was unnerving to him.
Right before the phone went to voicemail he decided to hang up and try again.
As he waited hearing the dialtone he looked at the time.
No wonder he's not answering its 2:46 am
as the call failed to go through again he thought of who else to call.
Norm? He would know what to do but he'd force Randy into an ambulance.
Karen? She was definitely busy sleeping and would be pissed.
Gingi? they barely know how to exist. Plus Randy is scared of it.
Randy sighed and was about to put his phone down and give into the sleepiness when his phone began to ring.
He answered.
"H-hell—"
"Are you okay, dude? I'm sorry for not answering sooner I was in the shower— what's wrong?!" Oliver's loud voice assaulted Randy's ear.
"Wh— p-please be quieter..." Randy mumbled his words slurring together pretty badly.
"Are you drunk again?"
"N-no— W-well- yeah b-but I w... wasn't callin to c-cry at you a-again-..." Randy huffed.
"What's wrong?" Oliver sounded worried.
"Um..." Randy looked at his arm the spurting has calmed down a bit but it's still pretty intense, "uh... the um.... um... what's th-the.. what's it mean wh-when my blood i-is like uhm... s-spitting at me...?" Randy was trying his best but his brain was so fuzzy right now. It was hard to think let alone speak.
"What?!" Oliver yelled concerned.
"...what?" Randy asked voice quiet.
"What happened? Hey, stay awake dude, don't fall asleep."
"J-just- tell me Wh-what it means a-and and h-how to fix it—" Randy groaned.
After about an hour on the phone with Oliver Randy had controlled the bleeding relatively well.
"What happened?" Oliver asked still not knowing what had happened.
"I-I fell n broke a b-bottle." Randy lied as he bandaged up his arms.
"Jesus, dude, you gotta be more careful..." Oliver spoke before yawning, "alright, I'm gonna head to bed I think. If you need anything please call. Lemme know how it's doing tomorrow as well. G'night Ran." Oliver hung up.
Randy made his way back to his bedroom and took the gun and notes out of his desk.
He took Oliver's note back out and began to write more.
after about an hour he set the pencil down his hand writing barely legible. He was sober enough to do things but still drunk enough to not worry.
Randy grabs the gun and opens the chamber making sure there was still a bullet in it. Once he had confirmed there was a bullet he closed it up and turned off the safety.
He got up with the gun and walked to the most empty area of his room. Randy looked over at the desk then sighed and went back over.
He quickly set the gun down, grabbed his hoodie and set it under his blanket in his bed so it hopefully wouldn't get blood on it. He then added to Oliver's note where the hoodie was followed by one more thing;
'I'm sorry that I blew my brains out across the room'