Archive of Our Own

Yet again, another day passed where the young master was unable to stomach the dinner Sebastian had prepared for him. And this time he’d made it step by step per the instructions of a recipe, as opposed to the far easier method of conjuring the meal out of thin air. Both had been rejected—and regurgitated—with the same distaste. 

Sebastian hadn’t a clue whether or not his summoned food was truly distinguishable from that which was assembled from combining ingredients, but he knew his abilities well, and he doubted that this was the case. But, on that first day with that first dinner having been the only food he’d presented his new master at that point, he couldn’t rule it off the table just yet. The boy had complained of its strong flavor. Oily, spicy, and overly salty.

For the second night's dinner—present day—Sebastian had prepared a mild risotto. And again, he’d done so step by step per the instructions of a recipe, and it was dreadfully tedious to do. Thinking that the boy must simply have sensitive taste buds, he’d been quite confident that this menu would suffice. And it had…for about twenty minutes after the boy had consumed roughly one fifth of the plate of risotto. But ultimately, during the trip back to his room Ciel abruptly buckled over and his dinner was suddenly all over the hall's carpet. 

Ciel had criticized Sebastian for not being able to prepare acceptable food, claiming that the problem resided within his skills in the kitchen, and that he needed to do better. But now, given that both meals had been turned down, Sebastian was beginning to suspect that the method with which he assembled the boy's food was not the issue.

But Sebastian knew one thing for sure; regardless of his master's apparent distaste for his cooking, he needed to eat. 

He needed to eat something , and soon.

Sebastian knew what a healthy human was supposed to look like, and this new master of his was not that. 

During the initial carriage ride to the Phantomhive manor after they’d been tearfully seen off by Ciel’s aunt, Sebastian had inquired about the length of time which Ciel had been held captive by the cult. Simply to get a sense of the building's condition after being vacant, having yet to find out that it had burned nearly to the ground. Ciel responded not with a length of time, but with the date which he’d been taken. The boy's inconsistent ability to recall details irked Sebastian ever so slightly. He could remember the exact date of when he’d been taken, but not the location of his own home? How inconvenient. Sebastian had yet to learn that this ‘random day’ just so happened to also be Ciel’s birthday.

The boy had been kidnapped on December 14th, and it was nearly February. So he’d spent a decent length of time imprisoned, a little over a month.

Given the boy's age and small stature, he would’ve been dead approximately ten days into his captivity should he have not been fed at all. The fact that he was even alive after enduring those conditions meant that he must have ingested some quantity of food during that span of time. However, whatever it was that he’d been fed most certainly did not meet the required choleric intake of a human. One that was still growing at that. 

Truly, Sebastian was quite baffled. His master had quite literally been starved, yet continued to reject any food put before him in the two days since he’d returned to the comfort of his home. And yes, both Ciel turning his nose up to a plate and vomiting counted as him rejecting food in the demon’s eyes. The only difference being that one was voluntary, while the other was not. Rejection that came from one’s conscious mind, and rejection done by the body. In the end, both resulted in his stomach being empty. 

Sebastian thought that, by all means, he should be ravenous. Fighting to shove food down his throat where the boy choking was his greatest concern, not getting him to eat in the first place. 

There was only one feeling that Sebastian—a Demon—had in common with humans, and that was hunger. Though he could not die from starvation, he knew what hunger was, what it felt like. He understood the need, the pull of one’s stomach, the feverish desire to fill the hole in one’s Belly, for he himself experienced it. Though the sustenance he desired differed ever so slightly from that of humans.

And yet, here his master was. Cornucopias of food being placed before him in an endless buffet, all there specifically for him to consume, but he continued to refuse it. 

The boy didn’t need to work for his food, he didn’t need to hunt to eat, he didn’t need to comply with the foolish wishes of a master over an extended period of time in order to score one singular meal. Nothing should have prevented him from taking what was being specifically prepared for and given to him. Nothing aside from his own bullheadedness. And yet, the vigor with which the boy had lapped up the warm milk with honey he’d been served told Sebastian that he was indeed hungry. It didn’t make sense to the demon.

And it worried Sebastian a great deal. He would not have this new master of his dropping dead from starvation in the first few days of their contract. But with each new day that passed without Ciel eating, he knew that it would become a very real threat. 

Ciel had allowed Sebastian to wash the dirt and dried blood from his body, to see to his wounds, to dress him in new clean clothes where he’d be warm and dry, so the possibility of him getting sick had been eliminated enough for Sebastian’s comfort. But his body was already weak, terribly so in fact. Ribs and vertebrae poked through his skin. No fat and no muscle could be found anywhere on him. He was emaciated. Sebastian knew that he needed to gain some weight before ended up losing any more. But the question remained of how…

How to convince the starving child to eat when he did not want to?

Except, the problem was not that the boy didn’t want to eat…it was that food seemed to make him sick. Each time he took a bite, it came back up not long after. Indeed, quite the predicament.

Sebastian jumped to the notion that he may have already contracted some sort of illness or infection that was causing him to be sick, but Ciel displayed no other symptoms to back up that theory. Sebastian didn’t know much about human health, but he knew that fevers indicate illness, and the young lord did not have one. So the search for an answer continued on to the third day of their contract.

Thankfully, not too late did Sebastian discover the cause of his master's inability to stomach food. Or at least a much more plausible theory, and one that had a solution. 

And it was all thanks to a cat. 

Ciel had been reading a book, the first time Sebastian had seen him do so since they arrived. Confirming that even with all the knowledge the boy lacked, he at least knew how to read. 

He’d scampered away to a study on the far side of the manor. With Sebastian being the only other living creature on the premises, if he wished to be alone, then he could have gone just about anywhere in the manor. His choice to shelter himself away in one of the farthest rooms from the servants quarters hinted that he was deliberately trying to keep some distance between him and his butler. Contradicting that he’d instructed Sebastian to serve him tea at the same time each day, since he hadn’t included any additional clauses of “ unless I wish to be alone ,” his mistake. And the boy did not yet know that there was no hiding from Sebastian. That the demon could feel the presence of his soul and pinpoint his exact location no matter what.

Placing the tea cup down carefully onto the table beside the sofa where Ciel sat curled up, Sebastian peaked at the cover of the book in his hands, curious of his master's choice of literature. The cover was a dark vibrant green, and the title’s text on the front was unconventionally large. 

Sebastian realized that it was some sort of…children’s book. An animal guide, and the page Ciel was looking at had an illustration. 

Sebastian had a feeling that he’d yet to truly meet his master, to witness his full personality. Ciel had burned with vicious emotions when he was first summoned and as the terms of their contract were established, igniting Sebastian’s hunger. But ever since they’d returned to the manor, with the acknowledgment that it had only been three days, the boy had been in a bit of an odd mood. Such was understandable, a lot had occurred recently. 

He fluctuated between that high strung, intelligent yet entitled brat which Sebastian had first met, and something else. Some other persona, or lack thereof. 

He would become resigned, isolate himself, and act shy. Perhaps a bit unsure of how to carry himself after the rapid changes that had shaken up his life. Going from heir, to prisoner fated to die a painful death, to commander of a demon and Earl of a house—Sebastian could acknowledge that it was quite the progression. 

Also, returning to the home which he’d once lived with his family, all of whom were now dead, was probably a bit upsetting for him and not the best environment for recovery. Physical or emotional.

Sebastian also knew from experience, from past contracts, that humans struggled with them, him, comprehending his existence. There was always an adjustment period, as it took time for the notion of what they’ve done to truly sink in. To accept the sacrifice they’ve made, and for them to fully realize the power they now control.

As much as Sebastian understood it, it didn’t make the process any less jarring for him. The terms of a soul-binding contract were par the course for him, and he loathed to repeat himself. Having to again and again reassure his masters that yes, their orders have complete authority over him and they can ask of him anything they wish. And no, he will not kill them before the terms of their contract are complete…without proper circumstance.

Ciel was young and had…a lot to process after his month spent in a cage. Sebastian dreaded that it would take the boy a while to trust him. Not that he needed his masters to fully trust him, but it made things much easier in the long run. And Sebastian had a sneaking suspicion that this current contract would be no short endeavor.

In these early days, Sebastian found himself being particularly gentle with the boy, in both his words and actions. All in an effort to win Ciel over, to acclimatize him to his presence. But it was a bit to Sebastian’s detriment, as it sometimes made him nearly forget that he was not in fact interacting with just any odd child, but with his master. The moments where Ciel would suddenly pipe up to criticize him or give some instruction after he’d been quiet and reserved the whole day often caught Sebastian off guard. Testing his nerves after he’d worked oh so hard to pretend to be kind.

But then there were moments like this. Ciel had not turned the page of the book since Sebastian entered the room, yet continued to stare at it. He was most likely embarrassed that he’d been caught reading a book of this nature. Fighting not to acknowledge his butler, so that his butler would not acknowledge what he was doing. Though the boy was working to fit the image of an Earl, he had his moment of childishness. Sebastian had repaired everything in the manor without a second thought. Not at all considering that some things—such as this book—might have been remnants from the boy’s childhood. Perhaps he was seeking some comfort from it during these unsure times.

Given how early on it was in their contract, Sebastian fought off the urge to correct this behavior; he could do that later. Though he knew he’d regret not nipping these things in the bud. Right now he needed for Ciel to trust him, and that wouldn’t happen if he mocked his every move; he could do that later. 

So, in an effort to cozy up to the boy, Sebastian decided to spark conversation about the book's content. To let Ciel know that, as of right now, it was ok for him to be reading that sort of thing. The demon didn’t mind. 

Sebastian took a cheeky glance at the illustration on the page, and a grin spread across his face. As genuine of a grin as he was capable of producing. 

“Ah, the African lion. A majestic animal indeed, one befitting the title of king of the jungle.”

Ciel jolted ever so slightly at Sebastian's voice, having been so focused on not acknowledging him that his sudden comment surprised him. Ciel’s gaze slowly moved up to meet his butler’s grinning face. The one trying very hard not to look sinister. 

After a moment of staring, the boy said, “that title is false.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Why do you say that?” 

Ciel sat up a little, regaining a piece of his ego. “Lions don’t live in the jungle, they live in the open plains. That’s where their food is,” Ciel proceeded to explain with the slightest hint of know-it-all-ness to his tone. Though Sebastian would have bet that he was simply reciting verbatim what he’d read in that very book. Still, he would indulge him. Flattery was one method of gaining a human’s trust, Sebastian could see if it was effective. Growing one’s ego went hand in hand with growing one’s confidence.

“Ah, I see. You are indeed correct. Animals will inhabit terrains in which they have the highest chance of scoring their prey. Curious how that title came to be.” Though Sebastian didn’t come from the natural world, he was quite confident in his knowledge of animals. Perhaps he’d use it to impress the boy, since it seemed to be an area of mild interest. 

“The Lions preferred prey of gazelle, zebra, and wildebeest all reside in the African plains,” Sebastian added with a smile. He also took no issue whatsoever with discussing one of his favorite things; cats.

But Ciel had his own addition to make, “and hippos.” 

Sebastian gave him a confused look. “Hippos?”

“Lions eat hippos too,” he said, almost smugly. Deriving some joy from correcting the demon.

Sebastian supposed that wasn’t…entirely incorrect. Lions would eat just about anything, such is the life of a predator fighting for each meal. But hippos weren’t the first item on a lion’s menu. While he supposed a human might find them cute enough to lump in with the rest of a lion's prey at first glance, their bulk, arsenal of teeth, and aggressive tendencies made them a difficult target for even the skilled lion. When having to fight for each meal, one would choose the easiest battle.   

So, not being able to stand when humans had false notions of the world, Sebastian proceeded to correct him as gently as he could, “I’m afraid the human who wrote that book may have included some inaccuracies. Lions don’t typically prey on hippos, given the effort required to take one down. And aside from that, the meat of hippos is quite fatty. Lions require a high protein diet in order to sustain their constant physical activity, and consuming meat with a high fat content can actually make them…sick.”

Sebastian paused once he finished the sentence. His own words sinking in. He reevaluated them, and applied them to a different context.

Ah, so that’s what it is.  

Ciel’s expression dropped a little, perhaps a bit embarrassed that his knowledge had been corrected, but did not seem to catch on to Sebastian’s realization. 

“Oh, I see.” Ciel then sniffed, stiffening himself a little and narrowing his gaze at the butler, “it’s weird that you know that.”

.

.

.

That afternoon, Sebastian set to work on planning out that night's dinner preparations a bit early. He needed the time to figure out what they were going to be. 

He’d figured out why his master had not been able to stomach any of the food he’d been given. And the solution to this problem, while most likely possible, Sebastian did not immediately know what it was. 

It was simple really, and it made perfect sense to him. His master had not been able to keep any food down because his body could not digest it in his malnourished state. Just as a lion could not stomach the fatty meat of a hippo, the boy could not stomach the first rate meals Sebastian had prepared for him.

Instead, he needed to feed him something even lighter than a risotto. The boy's appetite was small, so whatever Sebastian could get him to eat needed to be energy dense as well. Some vitamins would also do him good. Now, what food fits that criteria? 

Meat and dairy would surely work well to fatten him up, but Sebastian had a feeling that those would be too heavy for him at the moment. He thought of grains and spices. Perhaps a dish with rice or oatmeal, but he sensed that he could do better. He needed something nutritious that would be appealing to his master's taste, not that Sebastian had great knowledge of his master’s pallet yet. The only thing he knew was that the boy liked to put quite a bit of honey in his milk, so he must have a sweet tooth. 

Unluckily for Sebastian, most healthy and nutritious foods did not fall into the sweet category when it came to flavor. He continued to read through his mind's encyclopedia of all his knowledge of ingredients and dishes at lightning speed. There had to be something that would work.

Eventually, he landed on a solution that came to him in the form of one simple ingredient. Cocoa. 

It was full of antioxidants, contained a decent amount of soluble fiber, and was loaded with minerals. And with it, he was sure he wouldn’t have to worry about the meal not appealing to the boy’s taste.

Sebastian now knew exactly what he was going to be serving his master for dinner that night, and began the preparations right away. Confident that it would be received with flying marks.

Some time later, once the dinner hour had arrived and Ciel was seated at the dining room table, Sebastian set down the plate with his creation before his master.

Ciel stared at it for a full minute with a wide eyed, blank expression. Slowly, he turned his head to peer at Sebastian, who was standing just behind him. A tad closer then he had the nights before, wanting a front row seat to observe if his plan would work or not. 

Sebastian peered back at him with a smile plastered across his face, a great contrast to his master's blatant confusion. 

“Sebastian?” Ciel spoke his name slowly, questioning him.

Sebastian had expected such, and was eager to play his cards to convince him. “Yes, young master?” 

“…what is this?” Ciel asked, absolutely perplexed.

“Your dinner, my lord,” Sebastian replied innocently.

Ciel turned back to the plate and stared down at its contents. At it’s dark, smooth surface and squared corners. 

“You’ve served me…a bar of chocolate…for dinner,” he said, clearly dumbfounded. 

“Dark chocolate that is, but yes,” the butler corrected excitedly.

Ciel turned back to look at Sebastian, the young boy’s expression now irked. “What the Devil are you thinking? This is not a meal fit for an Earl. Did you lie about preparing last night's dinner from scratch, is this truly all you can make?” He shifted to face forward again, crossing his arms in a pouting manner. In a mumble, he added, "no wonder I was sick again after eating it.”

Sebastian's eye twitched ever so slightly, having taken some offense. Again, he loathed to repeat himself. 

“ No , I did not lie about preparing last night's dinner by hand. Even if I hadn’t done as you’d wished, I couldn’t lie about it. You are the one who made that so.”

When Ciel did not reply immediately, Sebastian feared that he may have let just a tiny bit too much of his ire seep into his words. Children are so easily frightened, and demons are so naturally frightening.

“Then why are you serving me this?” Ciel then prompted.

Of course his master was going to be stubborn about this, as he was with nearly everything so far. Sebastian’s inner turmoil swirled over wanting the boy to trust him, but knowing that if he scared him an appropriate amount more , he’d most likely comply much easier. 

‘No. Calm, kind, and collected is what I need to be.’ He forced himself to be reminded, and returned to the conversation at hand.

“You see, this house does not currently employ a proper chef. Therefore, the responsibility of deciding what will be served for each meal falls upon me. This is simply what I decided to feature as tonight’s menu,” Sebastian explained in turn. The grin on his face did not falter for a second. He was quite pleased with himself, as his defense did not contain any lies. It was tedious, but he could work within these limitations. 

Ciel paused again, and once more his gaze fell upon the plate of chocolate. Only this time, Sebastian caught a hint of a new sensation present within him. The glisten in his eye as he stared down his nose at it. And Sebastian knew what it was, what it meant. His victory was not far off. 

He is defiant, but he is hungry.  

To seal the deal, Sebastian decided to give a slight peace offering. An effective tactic of manipulation he’d uncovered during his time with humans. Apply pressure till the very last second, then offer an out. The assurance of an escape made commitment seem much more appealing, even if it were against their better judgment. Thankfully in this case, the action Ciel was being pushed to commit to was not to his detriment. Sebastian was just trying to get him to eat.

“If you find that its flavor is not to your liking, then I will prepare something else. I did add extra sugar, as you seem to have a taste for sweets.”

And that was the end of it, Ciel gave no further retorts. He continued to stare down at the bar of chocolate, until his gaze fell on the fork beside his plate. Then awkwardly, going against learned manners, he brought his hand up from beneath the table and picked up the slab of heavenly- ahem, hellishly crafted chocolate.

Slowly, he lifted it up to his mouth. Perhaps hesitant given his most recent experiences from eating.

Sebastian did not have a view of his face, as Ciel was no longer facing him, but he could hear as his teeth clinked against the solid brick. 

He could hear as a bit of the corner was snapped off. 

Sebastian listened closely as he chewed.

Until, finally, he heard him swallow. 

Sebastian exhaled, a sigh of relief. Success .

Finding that first bite tolerable, if not good, Ciel went for another. Then another, and another, until he had consumed the entire bar of chocolate. It had not been miniature, but it was also not equivalent to the size of a proper meal. Yet he seemed as though he’d just stuffed himself with a feast meant for ten kings.

Sebastian had a feeling that it would take some time for his body to readjust to the introduction of proper food, but this was a start. 

For the first time since he’d returned, Ciel did not become sick that night. 

Sebastian continued to serve him a chocolate bar for dinner for the next few days. Then, once he felt confident that his master's condition had improved, he evolved it into chocolate covered strawberries, and so on and so forth. With much care and patience, Sebastian was able to get the boy's diet back on track, and with that he began to regain his strength. Both in body and mind. Just a little bit of stability, of returning to normal life, went a long way.

Sebastian found himself meeting his master once again. Discovering who this boy that now held his leash truly was. He was becoming more at ease, more himself. Perhaps the seeds of trust that Sebastian had planted were beginning to sprout. 

The one thing that did not ever change much was the boy's size. He never truly did regain the mass to be a healthy weight, even after he’d grown, but that was alright. 

At the end of the day, Sebastian cared more about cultivating his soul. Why pamper pray fated to be slaughtered? At least, that's what he told himself.

Three years had passed since that time, and Sebastian still found himself carefully planning out each and every one of his master’s meals, taking the time to make sure they were all balanced and healthy. He knew it was a bit of a lost cause. While his efforts weren’t for nothing, without the input of a knowledgeable dietitian there was little chance that the young lord’s health would improve beyond what it already had. So then why put in the extra work? The extra time, care, and concern?

Sebastian never did forget the image of that tiny boy that he’d first met, starved and on the brink of death. And he made a vow, a silent vow, to no one but himself, perhaps without even realizing it. 

That no matter what, he would never allow for his master to return to that state ever again.