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Some of them were at the campfire, sitting around and idly chatting. They were all licking their wounds after another brutal day. Tortures were constant in this realm, but at least there was something of a day cycle, and the entity had spared them the dignity of sleep every night. So once the moon was high in the sky, people either took to knocking out immediately, or staying up where nightmares couldn’t get them.
David was usually the latter, finding himself some company in these wee hours until his eyes dragged themselves shut, or until he felt the fog tugging him into the next challenge. It wasn’t like they really needed sleep, but the routine of it made them feel human.
At some point in the night, Jeff was handed a guitar, and songs were being shared around the fire. David had never heard of any of these songs before his residence here. It was probably a song from a different era, or from a different reality entirely. There was no real way David could prove anyone here was from his world, but ironically, he felt a kinship with nearly everybody because of that.
Except for tonight. The music was slow and depressing. Too much even for David. He was leaning against a tree, looking at the circle of them all. His eyes eventually caught somebody else’s. A certain someone who was looking just as lost as David felt. A small argument started in David’s head, wondering whether or not to leave his brooding spot to go join him.
Vittorio wasn’t exactly the easiest person to read. Not for David, anyway. He never knew whether his next words would make the older man laugh or argue with him.
He never knew which he preferred.
As much as he loved pissing Vittorio off, tonight wasn’t the night for it—not for either of them, if the distant look on Vittorio’s face was anything to go by. The barely-there eye contact was what convinced David to push off the tree and circle around to the man across the way. Walking the perimeter of the fire, David was near undetectable as he reappeared by Vittorio’s side.
“Hey,” he whispered, so quiet that it might as well have just been a breath.
Vittorio looked up at him right away, eyes focusing back on David. It was so much focus, David nearly recoiled from it. He could have sworn Vittorio was a million miles away just a second ago, but David’s presence demanded Vittorio’s apparently.
David would be lying if he said that didn’t stroke his ego.
He’d be lying even harder if he said it didn’t make his heart skip a step.
David nodded his head away from the fire, indicating Vittorio to follow him. The skipping in his chest only worsened when Vittorio followed without asking. He led them out past the campsite, away from everyone’s little spaces and just into the clearing. Even from here, he could hear the music being played, but the words didn’t carry along with it.
The stars—if that was what they really were—shone abundantly here. It was almost jarring to see something so beautiful in a place like this, but David wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Their little walk eventually ended, David finding a nice patch of grass to sit in, lying down on the slight incline so he could keep looking at the sky. If he wasn’t so keenly aware of Vittorio—always aware, always looking—he could’ve forgotten the man was with him, what with how quiet Vittorio was being.
But the other man sat down on the grass with David, reclining similarly to count the stars.
“I do not recognize any of them,” Vittorio said, voice low as to not break the spell they were under. “I knew them all. Back home. I was something of a wayfarer, and the stars were the easiest tools to get me where I needed to be.”
“Knew all about ‘em, didja?”
“Sì. Every name and every poem that came with them,” Vittorio sighed wistfully. “Granted, I am sure there are more stars and constellations discovered in your time than mine, but I am sure the art of wayfinding would be no different.”
“Yeah, people still use stars,” David answered with a small shrug. “Some folk had fancy technology that would make maps for ‘em. GPS is what we called it. Global somethin’ or other. But even without it, people still used stars. If you could even see them.”
“What do you mean?”
David really does forget sometimes that Vittorio wasn’t just some guy from Italy. Vittorio was worlds away. David could’ve opened a history book at home and seen a painting of a man like Vittorio. Maybe he did.
And yet here they were, lying next to each other under the same canopy of stars.
“Electricity really changed the game, mate. There’s no being afraid of the dark because there is no dark. Not like this, anyway. Not where I lived. So many lights, we scared the stars away.”
David turned his head to see a contemplative look on Vittorio’s face. He could guess why. Vittorio was beyond fascinated with technology and human evolution. If he wasn’t working on his magical research, Vittorio could be found near Gabriel, listening raptly to everything about their future. Suffice to say, a bright world must have intrigued Vittorio, but at the cost of his precious stars…
“But they’re still there,” Vittorio finally said.
“Hm?”
“You can’t see them, but they’re still there, right?”
“I suppose. Yeah.”
Vittorio turned his head to meet David, looking down his nose to meet David’s eyes.
“Then you didn’t scare them away. Not really. You simply closed your eyes to them. But if you looked, they’d be there waiting.”
Silence fell between them, and they continued to look at each other, unmoving. Some childish, naive part of David’s brain really thought they were going to kiss. Why would they? That’s not who they were.
“You a religious man?” David asked in the lull.
It startled a soft chuckle out of Vittorio, his eyes crinkling sweetly. David wished he didn’t turn his head back up to the stars. He wanted to keep watching the way joy molded Vittorio’s face.
“Sì. Despite my knowledge of the arcane, my years—hundreds of years—of research, and the fact that we’re trapped here now—ci credo ancora.” Vittorio sighed, chest heaving with the motion. “I believe God exists, though my answer may be more pragmatic than you think. The saints and apostles, they were real. Gesù Cristo was a real man. But to me, that’s all they were. Real men. Figures in history. God, whoever He is, maybe He has the power to control our paths. Maybe our souls go to Him at the end of our journey. Some may think my experiences in the fog should nullify the belief, but I beg to differ.
“We know with irrefutable evidence that there are creatures who have the power to control our paths. Who’s to say God isn’t one of them? Io credo, pero whether or not I believe he wants what’s best for us? That depends on the day.
“I think religion is important. I think it keeps us sane. This universe isn’t designed for us to understand. Not by ourselves. Our feeble minds would destroy themselves with the ambition. That’s why we have religion, to contextualize and broach the unknown safely.”
Vittorio was such a fascinating man. He was full of contradictions and David doesn’t think he could ever fully understand the man, let alone the infinite universe. Vittorio is a man of magic, and yet he still believes in a higher power. Vittorio believes ultimate knowledge could destroy him, and yet he continues to seek it. Vittorio believed in a brighter, safer world, and yet he was one of the biggest pessimists David has ever met.
Perhaps that’s where the beauty lies, in the human intricacies that comprised Vittorio Toscano.
“And you?” he asked David, looking at him. “Is there a god out there that hears you pray?”
“Nah, mate. Doubt any of them are listening to a bastard like me,” he huffed. “If they are, all they’ll hear are curses. I’m only religious when I need someone to blame.” David heard a soft chuckle from Vittorio, like the laughter happened without his permission. It inspired a smile, David peeking from the corner of his eye to see Vittorio shaking his head at him.
“I suppose that adds to my point. The world finds its way to wrong you, and so you use religion to process these feelings. You do not have to like God to believe in Him.”
“Then I suppose a part of me can’t help but imagine there’s something out there that put me in this shitty situation. ‘Cuz I sure as hell didn’t ask to be here.”
“Or you do not want to reconcile the fact that you may have earned your spot in our hell.”
David fixed a furrowed brow at Vittorio, only to roll his eyes when he saw that shit-eating grin on the other man’s face.
“You piece of shit, I oughta sock those smart words out ya mouth.” David nudged Vittorio hard with his elbow, earning himself the sweet noise of Vittorio’s laughter.
“Scusami, you presented me the opportunity, I would be a fool to ignore it.” Vittorio wiped at the corners of his where the evidence of his mirth left its mark. He turned to David, smile still fixed in his place, simply watching him.
David would have felt embarrassed by this point, having someone look at him this close, but he couldn’t look away from Vittorio. He watched the softly pulsing tattoos shift ever so slightly on Vittorio’s skin, tracing from them to the lines of Vittorio’s face. When he reached Vittorio’s eyes, they were still there, watching.
“Why did you bring me out here, David?” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
“Can’t a man want company?” David tried to deflect.
“Our conversations only go one of two ways these days. We either fight or… indulge each other. It does not seem like you want to do either.”
David’s face warmed at being read so clearly, but he held firm, not shying away from Vittorio’s ever vigilant gaze.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?” he asked, surprising Vittorio enough to make the older man furrow his brow. “We fight, we fuck, but I… I think of you as more than someone who helps me work out my bigger emotions. I trust you, mate. To watch my back. And I want to watch yours.”
Vittorio took a second to gather his words, the silence stretching and making David worry that he said something weird. But eventually, Vittorio spoke.
“Of course we are friends, David. Unlikely as that may be, I have grown fond of you as well. We do not always agree, but that does not stop me from caring about you. Our differences are plenty, but what we have in common is what is most important to me. You are a good man, David. I care about a good man.”
David nodded, heart filling at Vittorio’s words. David didn’t believe he was good, but Vittorio believed it. And Vittorio had an annoying habit of being right about things. So maybe Vittorio was right about this, and David could do nothing but believe him.
Maybe David was more religious than he thought. Because once upon a time, he believed this was hell and he was banished to it. But the way he feels when Vittorio looks at him, when he believes in him, that can’t be the work of the devil. Not when all David had to do was reach out and he could have Vittorio in his arms. He just had to reach out. In this world, he dies several times a day, but tomorrow always comes, and Vittorio is always there waiting.
Reach out.
“Can I hold you?” he asked quietly, so quietly, the words barely left his mouth. But Vittorio saw him—because he always sees—and he turned to his side, pulling David’s hovering arm into his own, pressing David as close as he could with zero complaint. They could fall asleep now and wake up in a trial, but something in David knew that even after the fact, he would see Vittorio again. He would hold him again, and they would face tomorrow together.
God was real, and He led an angel right into David’s hands.