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A Reylo one-shot where Kylo welcomes the light and Rey contemplates, among other things, murder.
The flight back to base simmered with tension and high-strung emotion. But Han Solo could be professional at times, so he sat in silence with steady hands piloting his craft. Finn was oddly silent as well, his own fingers fiddling with the edges of Poe's jacket sleeves.
Rey herself sat alone, wishing she could've taken co-pilot. But Chewbacca wasn't injured, and he was better qualified and belonged there, so she decided to sit in silence. And contemplate.
Contemplate the last passenger who was with them, more silent and still then any other. Rey wouldn't put it past Kylo Ren that he wouldn't even need to breathe regularly. He seemed just that inhuman.
But he'd been strangely human when he'd dropped his mask and accepted Han's help. When he'd run with their half-patch group to the Falcon. When he'd turned, his eyes open without the mask, to watch the planet he'd been part of burst in its own energy.
Rey wondered if that would've happened to him. If he'd decided to stay, to learn more in the encroaching darkness. He seemed reckless enough to willingly implode himself to show off his brilliance.
She bit her bottom lip hard between her teeth- he should've. Kylo should've stayed and died, or let him fight her like she so desired. She wanted to knock down this pretentious child who only hurt those closest to him.
.
They land, and were instantly swarmed with people. At least some of them were, Poe and Finn rushing away with everyone to raise their arms and voices in victory.
Kylo slunk off the freighter last, hands clasped in front of him and looking so out of place Rey wanted to open her mouth and laugh to the open sky. Instead Han leaned down to kiss Leia's cheek, barely making contact before the general rushed forward like a girl and not the woman she was. She enveloped Kylo in her arms, pinning his arms between their bodies.
It should be endearing. It just looked odd and broken, with their differing heights and Kylo struggling with his expression. There was still red under his eyes, and Rey wondered if he'd been crying. Or if it was just a side-effect of being evil.
Chewie rushed forward next, and Kylo looked to be in true pain as he was stuck between the two. Hands still trapped, and suddenly Rey saw the helpless boy Han must have when he'd walked out to meet his son.
"I haven't seen his face in over ten years."
Rey started and turned to the voice, looking up to see Han watching his family. His unexpected, jostling like broken pieces of glass family. Rey looked at the colors and emotions swirling in his eyes, and wondered if she looked at Finn like that.
"His ears used to be too large for his face," Han continued to say, and Rey heard the waver and saw the tears. "His nose was even worse. At least he's grown into them."
He walked forward, leaving Rey alone on the landing stip. Wondering just why the villain of the story got to have a welcoming family, when she was still left wanting.
.
She went and celebrated with the rest, but it was a short lived moment. Because Artoo woke up, putting BB-8 into a blur along with the base. Rey was the one of the first called, her eyes wide and wondering as the droids tucked two missing pieces into something whole.
Rey's eyes flash to one of the corners of the room, where Kylo still in his dark uniform hid. But his head was down, brow furrowed, eyes not even glancing up at the map or the others in the room. Like his dirty boots were more important than finding their savior.
"I want to go meet him," Rey said in explanation as everyone filtered out to celebrate like never before for two distinct reasons. "I need to train with Master Luke."
Han gave Leia a thoughtful look, and the later sighed before pushing an elbow into Han's side. It looked light and flirty, but the dramatically man bent at the waste and his grimace was deep. At his lower level it was easy to kiss Leia's cheek again; she slapped his face away. Without any words, Leia walked back and grabbed Kylo by his elbow, steering him out of the room.
"You can't leave just yet," Han said, apology thick in his tone. "We can't risk you, the only person who could defeat Ben, going away."
"What makes you think I can best him?" Rey asked, shock carefully hidden. "It's only through getting the training that he's had with Master Luke that I stand a chance."
"Still," Han said, the word trailing off as he ran a hand through his hair. "We can't let our best fighter go when our hardest enemy just turned."
Rey wanted to scream. She wanted to punch a wall. She wanted to go visit Luke and fulfill her destiny. She didn't even know if she was good with a lightsaber. It was only her staff and body that she was confident in.
"How long?" she asked instead, turning away from Han's imploring face.
"Just some days. Maybe more. A couple weeks? We need to make sure this isn't a trap of any sort. And if it is, that you're here to help us."
"He's your son."
"My son is Ben Solo. That man still calls himself Kylo Ren."
.
So Rey stayed. On the first night it was actually a blessing, what with the abhorrent amount of drinks pouring out of every bottle, her glass never even halfway empty but always overflowing.
It was wild, and she stayed beside Finn the entire time, who in turn stuck to Poe. She knew he was as nervous about this gathering as her. They were both conditioned, alone for so long, that to be surrounded by so many high emotions and people was more than overwhelming and exhilarating. It was scary.
Regardless, Rey found herself drunk for the first time in her life. It took a while to realize, and when she did, she excused herself to climb the nearest roof.
She could oversee the X-wings, not even a skeleton crew out for odd repairs. There were only some slow moving droids to show for a ready defense, but Rey knew about their planetary shields. Everyone deserved a night off, to celebrate and somehow find happiness for the others who'd scarified themselves for this day.
Her eyes sharpened, and she blinked multiple times through her drunken haze, to see someone else climb a roof nearby. On instinct she moved further in the shadows, not wanting to be seen or bothered.
Rey snorted when she recognized the silhouette by its back alone: Kylo Ren.
Was he out here to radio for help, to bring awareness to the flailing First Order that despite their weakness they should attack? That everyone, including their prized Jedi-to-be, was incapacitated?
Rey watched, fingers twitching in anticipation for what his hands might do. What they might pull out of a pocket, what they might signal to the sky. Instead Kylo bent his knees and sat, still with his broad back to her.
Rey watched him, but all she could tell by his tipped-back head was that he was watching the stars.
.
Rey woke up late the next morning, and she wondered if it was because there was no overwhelming heat acting as her alarm. Her body was conditioned to wake at a certain temperature, not sunlight or time.
She lied in her bed and looked around at her private room that wasn't a fallen body of metal. There was no small plant, the walls were bare, and it was horrendously impersonal. But she refused to actively change it. It would spell defeat, that she was willing to wait and stay.
Kylo had infiltrated her head, to try and find what made her. Now he'd infiltrated this place, this new-found haven of hers, because he was greedy. He wanted everything for himself. Both the dark and the light.
Rey rubbed the heels of her hands in her eyes. They felt gritty despite no sand in them, and her head ached. She knew the later symptom well: she was dehydrated.
It was no good to let her anger run away, even if the ex-dark-princely deserved it. Was she still drunk? It would be some slim excuse for her bubbling hatred.
She went to her small bathroom, and marveled again at how easily it was for her to have fresh water. Simply turn the metal dial, and it would come. Poe had instructed not to be wasteful, but that their supplies were moderately plentiful.
After indulgently washing her face, hands, and neck, Rey took several long pulls of water. But she stopped there, else she fill up her belly too much and get cramps as a result. She had breakfast to attend to.
She leisurely trotted to the cafeteria, a little distracted by the few people she'd passed in the halls wanting to shake her hand. She'd had a lifetime of people ignoring her, or wanting to steal what she's scavenged or earned, but she'd never had people specifically come up and praise her.
Rey shook her head of any budding ego as she entered a room full of long tables but empty of many people. She followed her nose, and openly gawked at the wide assortment of hot, fresh looking food. It might be from a replicator, but Rey definitely didn't care. It was better than those blocks of synthetic protein.
.
Leia had given Rey a small com device last night, before she'd slung an arm around Han's waist and they'd gone to drink and celebrate in quiet. The general explained that if they needed Rey, they'd contact her. If not, heroes deserved days off.
Rey looked out past the grassy fields to the forest, at the jumble of roots and low-hanging vines. BB-8 beeped happily next to her, apparently glad someone was up as Poe and Finn were still dead to the world.
She'd been so used to her own company, it'd been shocking when she'd come out on the landing strip today to see the little droid rolling ever-fast towards her. Purposefully or not, BB-8 didn't stop its momentum when it collided into her shins. Rey had crouched down, straightened its antenna that was crooked again.
They chatted, BB-8 telling her embarrassing stories about the pilots from last night, Rey nodding and listening accordingly. It was nice to have something besides her thoughts to occupy her head. When she mentioned about going to the forest for a look about, BB-8 invited itself along.
The droid behaved, rolling careful and slow so as not to disturb much around them. There was no tension or fear like the last time they'd been in a forest together, too careless from fear to appreciate the beauty and treat it kindly.
Rey hummed as she went, the music from last night continuing with her like the slight headache. She now had a stomach-ache as well, but she deemed that was from eating too much at breakfast. She'd packed food away into her pouch as well.
BB-8 was thankfully quiet, the creatures in the woods were loud, and Rey continued humming aimlessly. She picked things up as she went, from flowers to stones to pieces of wood that she liked. All organic, all so easy and pretty. All for Rey to do with as she pleased.
.
"A rock? You got me a rock?"
Rey had spent the entire afternoon in the forest with no summons to pull her away. BB-8 followed her like a truly considerate friend the entire time, only beeping in protest when Rey skipped across small rivers. She carried the droid across, and it nudged her legs after each time in thanks.
She was thankful for BB-8 as well, for being willing to store little treasures in its compartments. Before it'd held the key to saving the Jedi and the balance of the force, and now the rolling life held river-worn stones. Half an eggshell. Seeds that were small and round, or long and flat.
Rey's nature to find, to scavenge, had been put to use not out of necessity. But because she wanted it, and could keep the treasures. She did it to please herself, not to quiet a rumbling stomach and survive.
She'd been excited, then, when the sun had started dipping and it meant dinner. She'd eaten through her lunch earlier, and wasn't especially hungry now, but free food wasn't anything to pass up. There had been a line, but Rey could see the end of it, so she had no qualm with waiting. It helped that she had BB-8 to chat with. At least until the droid went away, and Rey followed it to where Poe and Finn sat.
After getting her food, she'd walked over, nervous of all the eyes that followed her. Before eating, she'd beckoned BB-8 closer, and emptied its compartments to spay over the table. She'd given a small stone of crossing orange, yellow and brown to Poe, and was still figuring what to give to Finn.
"Why a rock, though?" Poe continued to ask, dumbfounded but still obviously pleased in a befuddled sort of way. His face was doing something unique in how he twisted it.
"I thought of you when I saw it," Rey said, abundantly pleased with herself.
.
The next morning Rey awoke before the sun, having figured out how to set her alarm.
She went to the kitchens, but there wasn't any food out. She was glad for how she'd taken extra food away from dinner, so she wouldn't have to worry. She told herself to wait, to let her stomach calm down. It hurt a bit more this morning.
She'd only have two meals today. She didn't want to embarrass herself by over-indulgence, despite how tempting it was. It was nerve wracking, knowing she could have as much whenever she wanted at meal times. It was something to figure out slowly.
She walked out to the landing strip in habit, and was happy to see people bustling about. She heard the distant roar of an X-wing finishing its take-off.
Deciding not to bother them, Rey moved to climb a roof from before. She tried not to think of how she'd watched Kylo for a good hour before he'd gone back inside, face still hidden from her. This day he was no where to be seen, and her chest felt lighter at that.
She spent the morning watching the planes take off and land in rotation, no longer feeling that incessant pull as she had on Jakku from the same sight. True, she was still land-locked at the moment, but it was like waiting in line for her food. There was an end, a window she could see through to the future. It wasn't hopeless like before.
The chirping at her belt made her start and slide a few feet down the roof, before she remembered she had wits and reached up to grab the edge she'd been sitting on. She pulled herself up easily before hearing the metallic chirp a second time.
It was a summons from General Organa, and she trotted to the main strategy room. Before she'd only seen it full of people and worry, but now there was only two figures.
Kylo no longer wore his uniform from before, but what he wore now was still black. Long sleeves, vest, long pants, and a thick belt- Rey still didn't like the look of him. His face didn't seem as pale though, and the red underneath his eyes was almost completely gone.
"I know you're put-out from having to stay here," Leia said, gentle like only a mother knew how. "But I thought that you and Ben could practice in the meantime."
Rey blinked and found her mind had forgotten how to function for a moment in shock. Her eyes focused back on the person who'd attacked her body and mind. He ducked his head down, raised his shoulders so they were nearly at his ears. He looked like a petulant child, not the newest dark lord.
.
It wasn't that good of an idea. They'd never clashed lightsabers before, and Rey still felt a bit off on how she carried his heirloom while he still only had his sword of red.
Rey yearned to return to the forest, but she refused to battle Kylo, even in jest, again in such an environment. Her pride still stung at how easily he'd played on her fears and trapped her. Instead they remained near camp, walking up the slight hills of rolling green grass to find some flat ground. It was almost like an ocean in its own right, the rolling ripples of wind through the grass. How the blades shined and moved together like one larger whole.
When Kylo had first removed his mask, Rey had been startled by just how much naked emotion she could see on his face. Maybe the mask was to make an image for the First Order, but Rey realized it had more to do with hiding his face. His weakness.
Today Rey was reminded of that, as he stood before her. The wind played at his hair, not attacking it like it had on Starkiller Base when they'd been running for the Falcon. His eyes were dark, thoughtful as he stared across of her.
Rey could already hear his thoughts: she was untrained, she was younger a good many years, she wasn't fully in control of the force.
So without word or warning, she ignited her lightsaber and charged.
Rey had always been careful for most of her life. Careful to make sure she had an extra stash or food, when she got sick and couldn't work. Careful not to go for the better, bigger ships others would, so she wouldn't have to fight them. Careful to know her limits, and to push them so she could grow stronger. Careful not to hope too hard or long, and to be patient.
That all changed when Finn had asked her if she was alright and made a dream come true. When he'd taken her hand and they'd commandeered a stolen ship and went off to the stars. She'd yet to return to Jakku. She wondered if she every would. She knew it would feel uncomfortable, like clothing outgrown.
Now she was beginning to feel the stirrings of power and potential in her. She knew she could be so much more, and had left her fear of accepting it. She wanted desperately to be anything but a useless scavenger who'd wasted years waiting for someone who'd never return.
Maybe she should learn to balance the two. Because the cautious Rey before would've never got thrown on her ass a minute into the fight.
.
"You're thoughtless," Kylo said slowly, watching Rey as she got off the grass for a fourth time. "You need to take time and study before answering."
Rey kept silent in return, putting a hand to her front and wincing. He'd landed a square kick there, and she'd wondered briefly while falling if he'd cracked a rib. Before, with his heavy boots and anger, he would've shattered her diaphragm. But no, there was no lasting damage, except another cut to her pride.
She had grass-stains on a knee, both elbows, and her left hip. He'd been soundlessly kicking her into the green, merciless and without any explanation until now.
"You're the one with the uncontrolled lightsaber," Rey said in a pant, "The one with a wavering sense of self and honor."
Kylo visibly bristled at that, his lips pressing together while his shoulders jerked back straight. His nostrils flared, and Rey almost laughed. He was like one of the ugly, angry beasts of the desert. Always wanting to find an oasis, but only getting pulled around by stronger creatures.
He took a step forward, Rey took a half-step towards him as well, before he changed his mind. He narrowed his eyes at her, before his weapon was diminished. He clipped it to his belt and walked away.
Rey felt an upswell of anger. She barely had felt it before in her life, only impatience and irritation, but Kylo made her emotions high and volatile. Finn and Poe and BB-8 made her emotions soar with happiness, light and carefree. This enemy-turned-ally made her want to throw stones at him.
She wondered if Poe would throw a party for her if she killed Kylo. Probably not, as it would hurt his biggest role model General Organa, but sacrifices had to be made. This was war.
.
The next day she saw him at the food hall again, shoulders hunched as if trying to disappear into himself. He sat at a corner of the table, and despite how the place buzzed with conversation and tight-seating, no one was within twenty feet of him. Like magnets repelling against each other.
Rey waited in line, eyes glancing for her friends. But they weren't around, and she remembered how last night Finn had giggled over dinner about learning more about flying tomorrow.
She could take her food back to her room, practice her sketching. Or she could go sit next to the big sulking baby. Surprisingly, she did the later.
His tray didn't hold much on it: pudding and some soup. It seemed like he hadn't even tried his soup, but he'd already finished half his sugar. Rey herself hadn't touched the sweets yet, afraid she'd let herself indulge on something she'd never even bothered to dream about. Maybe one day.
Kylo's head snapped up to glare at her, so fast it was undoubtedly uncomfortable. Rey held her head high, snorted out a quick puff of air, before putting her tray down and sitting across of him. The mess hall was eerily quiet, before it began again in a hush.
"What? Want to get beaten into the ground for a second day in a row?" Kylo asked, Rey marveling slightly how he hadn't let the silence stretch between them like she thought he would. It had been the same when he'd interrogated her: only waiting long enough for her to open her eyes. He was impatient then, as well as reckless.
He kept his eyes on his tray, his spoon idly stirring. Still so much like a child, twitchy and unsure about themselves.
Rey tucked into her food, methodically eating on item at a time. She knew in some weeks she might begin to mix the tastes, to learn past the metaphorical primary colors into a whole glittering rainbow of options. Right now she focused on trying each dish separately.
When she looked back up, licking her spoon clean after her second dish, her eyes connected with his. Instead of bashfully looking away at their eyes connecting, like some others on this base who studied her, Kylo seemed to look harder. Rey was the one who looked back down to her food.
This wasn't a light look other pilots gave her, the men flirty and the women respectful. This was weighted with emotion and wondering.
She remembered waking up, shackled in metal and afraid. How he'd tried to attack the one thing that had always and solely been her's. Her self: something she didn't need to scavenge to find second-hand. She was one and only, and all to herself. He'd tried to take that away without permission or care.
But now he looked at her like he wanted to understand, not dismantle.
"No lightsabers today," Rey said, softly as she began cutting into something spongey and blue. "Hand to hand."
Kylo scoffed, and threw down his spoon. He waited until she was done, her habit of licking her plates making him furrow his brow in confusion instead of anger.
They walked out together, the silence in the room so thick you could reach out and hold it.
.
Rey did considerably better without his previous training one-upping her. Now that it was only their bodies against each other, she had the advantage.
It wasn't apparent at first, what with him looming more than half a foot over her. His shoulders were wider, limbs thicker and body healthy from proper nutrition his entire life. Rey was still light limbed and tanned skin, fingers twitchy and thoughts at times feral. He was steady, despite how his switch insurmountably changed his life, and the entire galaxy's path on a larger whole.
But Rey was fast, smart and lethal. She'd been in too many fights, to protect what she'd found or food she'd been given in return. She was accustomed to the pain of a punch in her gut, of her staff getting taken and only relying on her fists and kicks.
Kylo was at first clearly surprised by her fury, but he remained tall. Like an old pine in a storm, roots deep and power hidden. So while Rey managed to hit his high cheekbone, attack his ribs with fast punches, a kick to his lower back- he stood through it all. His lip was split; he whipped away the blood on his sleeve. The black hid it entirely.
Then he went on the attack, and Rey was forced to dance away. No longer the storm, but a leaf stuck in it. At least, until he lunged too recklessly, opening his side.
She was the bolt of lightning that took down the tree then. In a flash she spun her body, arched her leg- Kylo hit the ground with a soft thud and exhale of air.
Rey danced back, panting and waiting, but he only lied there. She was just wondering if she needed to call for help when he groaned and stood, a large hand splayed on his side and a grimace stretching his face into something familiar.
"Beginner's luck," he said as he struggled to stand.
Rey left him then, practically skipping away with a small smirk on her face.
.
The next day Rey left the base early, before the sun peered over the horizon and encompassed everything in its sight. She went to the forest, to the quiet streams and the large pastures of grass. The swaying blades glittered with morning dew.
Rey found a nest of twisted branches and moss that easily tucked into her palm. Iridescent feathers and two large, blue scales that were heavy. She unabashedly tucked leaves and flowers alike in her hair. She skipped in rivers, shivering not only at the cool temperature, but at the feeling of water between her toes. Not of sand, but of effortless motion.
She climbed trees and sat on the branches, attempting to better her ability to draw. Before it'd been in the loose sands, then scratching on odd planes of scrap metal. It was almost too nice to be true to use actual materials and have a book full of blank pages for her to fill.
She walked into breakfast barefoot, her belt tight across her waist so the weight of the pouch at her hip didn't pull it down. People openly stared like always, and Rey politely waited in line like always. She looked for her friends, found them, but also saw a dark figure in a corner.
She grabbed one of everything, multiple rolls of dark bread to tuck into her already-heavy pouch, and then went to sit with Kylo. He didn't look up in mute shock this time, but wary speculation. His eyes traveled to her head, to the mismatched assortment, but he didn't snort. He simply looked back down to his food.
It was not a comfortable silence, but it was tolerable. Almost nice, how it stretched Rey's senses to danger. She was getting soft with the easily available food and accommodations.
Rey almost screamed in shock when Kylo yelped, his eyes wide and mouth open as he nearly tipped entirely onto his side. He violently jerked a second time, and then moved to look behind him.
A series of beeps that weren't nice at all resounded around the cafeteria. Rey sat up, and looked over the edge of the table to see a familiar droid of orange and white incessantly bad-mouth Kylo.
"BB-8," Rey said sternly, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into a fit of giggles. "That's quite enough. Come here."
The rebellious droid turned to Kylo and gave one last beep and shock before rolling around to be with Rey. She kept her eyes to Kylo, who was flushed in anger and pain, before leaning down and patting BB-8's head. It gave her much nicer words.
She asked it to kindly return to Poe, and the droid did after giving her some choice words if Kylo ever hurt her. It was comforting, in the strangest sense.
.
"How can you stand that thing," Kylo said angrily as they walked up grassy hills away from the base. "Much less learn its language to talk to it."
Rey started at that, before saying: "You don't know binary?"
Kylo's scowl deepened, and Rey giggled without worry.
"Finn's learning," Rey said lightly. "Maybe you can join in. And afterwards you can make sad songs to sing of that lost mechanical planet."
Kylo was silent as they continued walking. Rey's boots were so worn they slid in the grass, accustomed to walking in dipping sand. She'd have to ask Leia for a new pair, as she'd given her new clothes.
"That wasn't my idea."
"What?" Rey asked, almost missing Kylo's words from his soft voice and her focus on her steps.
Kylo huffed like a startled animal, before repeating: "Starkiller Base wasn't my idea. It was Hux's, which Snoke approved of."
Rey opened her mouth, to argue that it was part of his organization. He was bound by default. But he wasn't refusing the blame, simply saying it hadn't originated with him.
"You're still a monster," Rey said, remembering how he'd slaughtered the new line of Jedi. How he'd ordered his troops to kill innocents in the way. How he'd attacked not only her, but her two best friends. How he'd seemed willing to kill his own father until the moment came to pass.
Kylo was silent at that, and they continued up the rolling hills to the small flat plane they'd found two days before.
.
He was stiff as he moved today, favoring the side Rey hadn't kicked the shit out of the day before. She used this to her advantage, and when she landed a kick to the same side, near the same spot, Kylo gave a clipped exclamation.
He lied on the ground before, and with his shirt rucked up from his fall, Rey saw the boarder of the bruise. It was deep purple, sparks of yellow already mixing together, and she felt proud. It was her best piece of art made of yet.
Her finger itched to pull his shirt up more, to see just how far the bruise bloomed on his skin.
Kylo stood up and faced her again, because he was stubborn and that made him stupid. It only took a few minutes more for Rey to once again kick at the spot. He crumbled like a puppet with its strings cut, and he took even longer to rise this time.
Rey felt her chest expand in pride, in the hot feeling of success low in her belly. She'd waited days to attack him so freely, so openly. Using her body and mind Rey herself, and no one else, had made this fledgeling dark lord repeatedly fall to his knees.
It was an addicting, blinding feeling, which was probably why he actually made one of his punches stick. It was to her left side, high and almost hitting her armpit. She squeaked as all the air in her left, and she fell on her back. For a startling moment it was as if her lungs were disconnected, but then she gasped and sputtered, rolling to her side.
She looked up, expecting Kylo to look proud. Gleeful at being able to knock her down again. Instead his face was surprisingly masked of any emotion, like he was tired and bored with this dance. He blinked once before turning away and walking back down the hills.
Rey cursed, grabbing some of the long blades of grass below her. She crushed them in her palm.
.
Rey stayed above the base for hours longer. She practiced familiar movements with her staff with Luke's lightsaber, trying to incorporate them and wondering if she was just hurting herself. Instilling bad habits before learning how to do anything right.
After that, she stretched, and sat down to meditate. From her fight with Kylo, and her training afterwards, most of the collection in her hair had fluttered away. Some of the flowers were wilted on the ground, crushed underneath either her's or Kylo's boots.
When she returned to base she went to her room, knowing she'd stowed away enough food from breakfast for dinner. She checked on the cuttings she'd put in discarded ship parts, the dirt and muted greens contrasting against the shine or rusted metals. Standing before the mirror in her bathroom, she picked out the leaves that remained and pressed them into her field journal.
She sat on her bed, opening an instructional manual Poe had given her on the finer, inner mechanics of an X-wing. He said she needed to learn all he did so their race was fair and he wouldn't feel guilty about kicking her butt. Rey could see how Finn liked the other pilot so much. (It wouldn't stop her from slaughtering Poe when they did compete.)
Before bed she let her hair out, and climbed out her window to the roof above. She'd been offered safer rooms, built underground to resist bombing hits, but Rey liked having an actual window to the outside world. Her AT-AT back on Jakku had no such thing; the viewing screen in the head of the machine had been too worn and discolored by the sand.
Here she could climb to the roof and feel the wind through her hair. She didn't have to worry about combing sand out with her fingers at the end of everyday. The grains still got into her bed, got into her boots, between her teeth - got everywhere.
She breathed in the crisp air, looked out at the hills of green and the lines of trees and forests beyond. It was only after she'd had her eyes on the moon and stars some long minutes that she felt an itch behind her ears, at her neck. Someone was watching her.
Casually she looked at the rooftops, and saw a familiar shade. Kylo was sitting down and facing her. His face open and pale in the three full-moon's light. He looked like a lost creature of the night, with his hands wrapped around his knees and pulling them to his chest.
Rey didn't want to stay, so she darted back into her window and room. She fell asleep easily, with the soft bed blessedly free of sand.
.
The next day Rey didn't see Kylo at breakfast, so she ate with Finn and BB-8. Apparently Poe was out doing drills, and BB-8 had abandoned Finn to teach him more binary. Rey laughed, and helped where she could. When she left she grabbed more food for lunch, and possibly dinner.
She walked up the grass, her feet barely slipping at all. She'd learned simply to take off her boots for the climbs. When she got to the self-designated spot where they wailed on each other, Kylo was there. He sat cross-legged and looking bored at the world.
Rey opened her mouth, but when Kylo lifted a hand her words were lost to the wind. He flipped it over gracefully, like a fern unfurling towards the sun. Understanding the basis of his request but confused at the intricacies of it, Rey decided be rash and sat beside him.
She fidgeted after fifteen minutes, her body tensed for a fight and not a sit. Kylo turned to her, displeasure and disapproval bright in his eyes. She contemplated sticking her tongue out at him, something Poe had a tendency to do in ridiculous situations, but she bared her teeth instead. Kylo sighed, his shoulders slumping and back curving.
"What do you want from me, Rey?"
It was the first time he'd used her name. Not 'girl,' or 'you,' or 'scavenger scum.' He'd used her actual name, the first thing willingly given in her hard life. And he didn't spit it, didn't grate the letters together to mutilate the title. It was soft, hesitant. Careful.
"I wanted to make your bruise bigger," Rey said, honesty beating out anything else.
Kylo huffed a laugh at that, and turned back to her with a cocked eyebrow. It looked so much like something his swaggering father would do that Rey felt her throat tighten. It was so hard to see them related, but in this moment he truly seemed like another person. Like the Ben Solo his parents and Chewie were so desperate to resurrect.
It only continued as he lifted his shirt at the hem, showing off a massive canvas of blues, purples and yellows mixing like a galaxy far away. Rey breathed in slowly, fingers at her side begging to reach out and touch.
"You fractured two of my ribs," his voice rumbled to say, catching Rey out of leaning any more forward. She watched as he winced, putting his shirt back down.
"Why didn't you get it bandaged?" Rey asked, exasperation clear and thick.
"Because the med-droids hate me, that's why."
"You're only been here-"
"Think," Kylo demanded, voice harsh and exasperated. "How many resistance fighters do you think they had to patch up because of me? How many they had to see and know they couldn't save, no matter what, because of me?"
It was a somewhat unfair conclusion, as obviously Kylo wasn't personally responsible for every loss. But it was like Starkiller Base. He was connected, and so blamed. He was the hidden face, the one everyone focused their hate on in instinct. It was easy to hate a faceless monster.
Rey tucked her chin against her chest. She was mostly so lost with her own anger at him that she forgot about how entitled others were to it. Kylo huffed again, and Rey felt it on the back of her hand at her knee. She leaned back, away from his slight frown and tired eyes.
.
They meditated the entire day, and as they walked back, Kylo stopped just outside the compound before entering. It took Rey a few steps to realize he'd left her side, and she looked back in annoyance.
Without a word, he reached into one of the compartments at his belt. Instantly she tensed, hand on her lightsaber, and Kylo gave her a wry smile in return. When he showed his hand, opened his palm to her, there was a rock of swirling grey and black with sparks of blue.
Rey thought of how she'd given a stone to Poe, because it reminded her of him. She looked up to Kylo's face, but it was somehow empty. His eyes wouldn't meet hers.
She held out her palm, small and rough in comparison to his, and he twisted his wrist so the small cluster fell into her outstretched hand. He turned, nodded to his feet, and left her alone.
Rey suddenly didn't feel very hungry, and she still had bread in her bag. She decided to avert the busy cafeteria and go to her private room. For the first time, she wondered if the building Rey saw Kylo on every night was where Leia lived.
Carefully, she placed the stone with glittering pale sky blue next to her growing collection. There was a sharp one of dark green, one of pale pink, and an assortment of white and grey ones. Smooth and found in the rivers.
Rey forced herself to look away, and to take the blades of grass she'd braided together out of her hair. She'd made it while meditating, and it'd grown long to wrap around her head multiple times like a rope. Next she carefully watered the cuttings, making sure not to give them too much. They weren't browning, so that was at least something.
She put her hair down, and went outside again. She hesitantly looked over to where Kylo had appeared twice before, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. With only one of the moons out, the stars were bright and easy to see. They were so different from the clusters Rey had stared at on Jakku. She found comfort in the unfamiliarity.
.
Rey took a day away from Kylo, exploring further into the forest. She found a small waterfall in the process, and only thought for a moment before stripping naked and standing under it.
She saw something like a lizard twice her height slide by, leaving a long trail and grazing casually as it went. Rey watched it, high in a tree's branches, before it left. She climbed down, and followed its trail to find two more scales. The ones before had been a cobalt blue, but these were turquoise.
As nice as it'd been to take a moment to breathe by herself, when she got back to the base for dinner BB-8 was angry with her. It argued that she should've brought the droid along, especially since Poe and Finn had both been busy that day.
In recompense, Rey promised she'd never go out there again without alerting the droid first. It chirped happily at that before rolling away and reserving her a seat next to Poe.
The next morning Rey woke up before the sun again, and turned off her alarm before it went off. She hiked up the hill, and breathed in relief that Kylo wasn't here yet. She wanted to meditate, to find her focus, before seeing him.
When he did come up the hill, it wasn't with his regal sway. He jumped occasionally, and while he was still clearly walking, it was a fast, jittery pace. Rey understood why as BB-8's orange appeared at his feet, and then a shock of blue.
"BB-8!" Rey exclaimed in shock, causing the two below her to turn up. "What are you doing?"
The droid calmly described that it was tormenting someone who'd tormented his friends. It was only fair, creating the circle in full. That, and many expletives which made Rey wonder just how much time the little droid was spending with Artoo.
Rey corralled it away, saying she was fine, and she'd call for its help if need be. The droid looked back twice as it rolled back to base. It beeped along to itself, clearly still angry.
Rey looked towards Kylo. His body twitched and his dark hair was frizzy with electricity. He rubbed at his calves, and then at his thighs. Rey wondered just how many times BB-8 had shocked him on his walk here.
"Lightning powers are supposed to be reserved for the dark side," he said in a pout.
Rey couldn't help it. She smiled.
.
Without prompt Kylo offered to teach her the basis for lightsaber technique. When Rey asked what type of attacks, Kylo shook his head. First he had to show her a half-dozen ways to hold the saber, then how to correctly call it. Only then did he start to teach her the first form that didn't seem very aggressive at all.
He wasn't very verbal with his instructions, only using the tip of a boot or two fingers to tap at an spot she needed to change. To bend forward, back, lean to the side- he tapped her once in the same spot when she was correct in her stance.
Her legs were aching by the time they broke for lunch, not used to the strain or standing with muscles tensed. Rey allowed Kylo to walk behind her back without her turning her eyes on him. It was exhausting constantly using the force to follow him. But she wasn't going to let him catch her unawares and stick his saber in her back.
Rey was lying on the grass, smelling the crisp air and wondering if it would ever rain soon, when there was a welcoming holler. Kylo sighed next to her, and Rey didn't need to sit up to know who'd come to visit. Still, she did, and grinned wide and stood to welcome Han.
"What's this? I came in the expectation of seeing my son beat bloody," he said jovially.
"His ribs are still healing," Rey said happily.
Han had brought a basket of food with him, apologizing that Leia couldn't make it today. They were going over new potential strategies, and they needed her attention.
"I told you, it's going to be months before they have the resources for a full-frontal attack," Kylo said.
Han shrugged, and said: "Better to be prepared. Anyways, they need to decide on the relocation planet."
Rey's chest stung a bit at that, thinking to the waterfall. To her growing stone collection and her sketchbook only half done. To the massive lizards who had a sweet tooth for red berries.
.
It was odd to watch Han and Kylo interact, but satisfying like stretching a used muscle. They were both artfully careful about not needing to use the other's name. They both accepted it, but Han easily used Rey's name. Kylo withdrew from addressing her directly as well. He'd still only said her name once.
Quickly enough (mostly thanks to Rey) the food was gone, and Han stood and cracked his back. Kylo frowned at the brash behavior, but did lift a hand in some sort of parting when Han began walking back down. He forgot to inform Chewie of his little walk, and the wookie might be tearing apart the base right now. Time to play the unwilling hero once again.
Rey glanced to Kylo, but his eyes were still on Han walking down. As if he was worried the older man would slip, or yell for assistance in bringing the empty basket down.
"How'd he know we were up here?" Rey asked.
Kylo gave her a fleeting glance and said: "They have a tracker on me. And I tell them where I go. So they don't worry."
"Why should they worry?" Rey asked, holding back a condescending laugh. "You could kill anyone here with a flick of your hand."
Kylo stiffened at that, and Rey cursed herself. Not only was that rude, it was brutally honest. People didn't like that, especially people trying to adjust to a sudden new reality.
"They worry that someone might get courageous and kill me."
It was said smoothly, effortlessly, like it was common fact and not something terrifying. That Kylo should forfeit his life, only for the supposed 'good guys' to not use the opportunity like a gift but burn it like a curse. Rey felt her stomach turn, remembering how she'd wanted to kill him so bad herself in that green forest. His words, of how she didn't even know him and yet desired him dead.
She thought of the addicting joy she'd felt at kicking him, cracking his bones. Was she really that person? Searching for a weak target to throw down and constantly hurt to fulfill her dark, inner thoughts?
Rey felt lightheaded at the revelation.
"Can we stop for the day?"
Kylo gave another brief glance at her, then away. He shrugged.
.
It'd been fourteen days now. Rey knew because she marked a small tally on her wall everyday. The lines were so small in comparison to the wall of days from before. But they felt heavier with the knowledge of Master Luke out there and Rey stuck here.
She wanted to bring it up to Leia, or Han, or maybe even Poe and Finn, but they were all busy. Busy with preparations to leave the planet and create a base somewhere else. Rey tried to help, but everyone deemed her too important to help with simple repairs. She should go train, go make sure Kylo didn't tear them all apart.
But Kylo wasn't a misbehaving beast on a leash. He was always calm, only showing some sort of energy when he was fighting with her. His eyes danced in amusement when she got a clever punch on him. His lips tightened into one flat line when he landed a hit on her.
Rey didn't truly feel bad about cracking his ribs, but she was more careful to pull her hits afterwards. The Jedi way was about control, only using what was necessary. It wasn't about showing how brutal you could be, but how strong.
The collection of plants and flowers grew, as did the stones. She only managed to find one more scale, this one a bright green.
BB-8 miraculously stopped bothering Kylo. At least in multiple strings of shocks. It'd accepted that if Rey needed to use him to improve herself, it'd stop botching the equipment. Still, Rey saw how Kylo's eyes followed the little droid every time it was in sight.
Soon it would only be a week until they were scheduled to move off-planet. Rey stopped using the shower and went to the waterfall every morning instead. She woke up early, and went to bed late. She pressed numerous things into her field journal and her fingers ached from drawing for hours. She wanted to remember the first planet she'd slept on where she felt like she belonged.
.
Rey went on the Millennium Falcon, accompanied by Han, Leia, Artoo, Chewie, Kylo, Threepio and BB-8. Poe was flying his X-wing, Finn in his own as well.
It felt tense and crowded, what with Kylo sitting next to her, who was holding BB-8. Take offs were always a bit rough, and instead of shooting out its wires, the droid had asked to sit in her lap. It was a silly request for something ageless, but Rey was willing to accommodate it.
Having the droid in her lap forced her knees to press out more than expected, making them brush against Kylo's leg. He jolted at the contact, and Rey wanted to frown at his immaturity to a simple touch, and then she saw an glittering blue aftershock from BB-8. She hit it on the side, scolding the droid. It whined, but Kylo gave her a rare grateful look.
Having Kylo come to their side meant more than a won-over headache. It meant he knew what the enemy knew, and what the enemy knew about the resistance. He knew the maps they had, and where the main bases of the First Order were. It meant they had a put-together puzzle of his facts and the resistance's. It made them have the best possible information to pick their new home-planet.
When they landed in the new system, it only had four planets around the twin suns. As they approached, Rey marveled at the turquoise color of the planet. It was almost identical to the scale she'd found. Two things that matched each other from different sides of the galaxy. It was a wondrous connection to know of.
Rey was hesitant as she walked off the Falcon, BB-8 whizzing ahead. Rey looked around, eager to give help, but then Leia pulled at her sleeve. The general was holding her son hostage by the same grip on his darker clothing.
"You two aren't staying," Leia said, the crinkles at her eyes deepening as she smiled. "You're off to meet the eccentric uncle of the family."
And so Rey re-boarded the Falcon after giving hurried goodbyes to Finn and Poe, Han and Chewie. BB-8 called forlornly after Artoo as the droid boarded with Rey and Kylo.
As they entered the cockpit, Rey nearly snarled as Kylo made an attempt to sit in the pilot's chair. Seeing her teeth, he only shrugged before sitting in the co-pilots. Artoo beeped cheerily behind them.
They left the world they'd just landed on, the turquoise falling away into something smaller than the scale in her bag.
"How long has it been since you've seen Master Luke?" Rey asked after she'd punched them into light speed.
Kylo was silent, but Rey could hear his teeth grind.
.
They arrived in mere minutes to the coordinators, and Rey realized Luke's location may have been a factor in choosing that specific planet for their new base. Before her stretched a landscape of constantly moving blues, the dark islands contrasting against the cool colors.
Rey felt Kylo look at her, and almost felt what seemed to be guilt on the tentative bond between them. She pushed his force and self aside. This was a moment for her, and Rey wouldn't let him ruin it.
She landed them at the bottom of the island, the only flat area on the rocky outcropping. Rocks jutted out from the sea, like mismatched rows of teeth. Waves crashed endlessly.
Kylo began walking before Rey even had time to look around and gape. She gave a parting pat to Artoo, who beeped for her to hurry. She was sure it was ready to see an old friend, but knew the importance of her and Kylo going up first.
Kylo didn't pause once as they climbed the stairs. He kept his head down and his hands were stiff at his sides. Rey panted to match his pace and longer legs.
Rey was so focused on her feet, of making sure not to slip in her old boots, that she nearly collided into Kylo's back. But thankfully she sensed him before ramming into him. She stepped around him, and sucked in a sharp breath at the hooded figure.
The figure turned slowly, and Rey found herself looking into bright eyes on a weathered face. His beard made him look older than his years, as did the metallic hand. Luke's eyes were kind as they landed on her, and continued to be so as he moved his gaze to Kylo.
Rey felt Kylo stiffen, could hear the material of his leather gloves creak as he formed fists. But she couldn't stop looking away from Luke, to watch his reaction to the nephew thought long lost.
"Those dark clothes don't suit you," Luke said, voice low and gentle.
"The beard doesn't suit you."
Rey finally turned away from the last Jedi master, gaping up at Kylo. Without thinking much of it, she stomped her foot over his, and then elbowed him in his still-tender ribs. He bent at the waist, and coughed once, but didn't fall any further.
Rey rummaged in her bag, and pulled out the lightsaber. Luke had his eyes back on her, and they shined in the salty air.
She lifted it up as an offering, too nervous even to smile.
.
It was stupid to have expectations about what it'd be like going to visit Luke. They had a map, but no specific details on the location. Rey had his weapon, but she didn't know if he wanted it. And biggest of all, she had Kylo Ren.
After their questionable first impressions, Luke asked for Rey's name. Before she could say it, Kylo offered it slowly. It was the second time now he'd willingly said it.
Luke pushed the saber back in her hand, his fingers curling over hers like a comforting ray of sunlight. He gave her a smile, and it was as brilliant as a two-sun sunset.
Effortlessly he walked back down the stairs Rey and Kylo had slaved up. She kept glancing up to the back of Kylo's dark head, wondering what he was thinking. Wondering what he was feeling, with his face hidden away from her.
They returned to the Falcon and a giddy Artoo; Luke laughed and crouched to put a hand on the droid. Artoo beeped along joyously, seemingly having so much to say considering it'd been in a coma since Luke had left. Meanwhile Kylo took down his small pack and some food supplies, and Rey did the same.
Her legs began to ache when they returned to where Luke had made something akin to a home. Thankfully there were other small rock rooms open. Rey had been petrified of sleeping in the same room as Kylo. She'd never feel safe, and her nightmares of him would no-doubt increase.
Dinner was mostly silent, Rey with her back slumped as she ate the food quickly. She looked up to see Kylo and Luke watching her, the former slightly disgusted while the later was openly entertained. She blushed, turned back down, and used her finger instead of her tongue to clean her plate.
Rey lied down for the night after Luke gripped her hand in his. It was like when BB-8 gave a playful spark- it stung a bit but it was worth it for the camaraderie. Then he moved to Kylo, and grabbed the taller man's elbow. They walked away, and Rey felt slightly snubbed.
She couldn't get to sleep, knowing now that she'd finally arrived. Finally she would start on her path to becoming something bigger than her, and be included in something timeless and powerful. No longer was she the alone, weak girl left on Jakku.
But even the consolation of her life beginning didn't help her drift off into sleep. The waves were loud and foreign, the salt air stung her nose and made her lips feel cracked.
Kylo and Luke walked back hours later. She sat up and peered out the sole window with no glass, eyes widening as she saw Luke reach up to place a hand on the side of Kylo's face. Just like Han had.
.
Rey knew she overslept the moment her eyes opened the next morning. She bolted up, dislodging the grey blanket over her in one smooth motion.
She dressed quickly, and then stopped on her way out. There was a tidy pile of clothes of a soft cream and tall boots of light brown leather. Lifting them, Rey marveled at the soft cotton before stepping back into her small room and changing again. The boots fit perfectly, the leather a tad stiff. They were clearly new and Rey marveled.
She walked out into the mid morning sun feeling nervous, and not only because of the new clothes that chaffed at her skin. The wide belt was different to her thin leather one she was accustomed to. The boots that hit just below her knees were heavier to her threadbare ones before.
Glancing around, she didn't see either Luke nor Kylo. Artoo was nearby, but the droid was motionless and quiet. It was still sleeping, then.
Not knowing where else to go, Rey pushed aside long sleeves that billowed in the air and began climbing stairs. It was easier than climbing up constantly-moving sand dunes at least.
She saw their backs first, and she took a moment to stop and look. They were wearing the same outfit Rey was, their boots off and beside them.
Not wanting to interrupt, Rey moved her weight from one leg to another. After a few minutes, she realized that they hadn't heard or made note of her. Feeling that clearing her throat was more intrusive to the quiet than simply joining them, Rey took off her boots and crept forward.
Kylo didn't open his eyes as she came to his left, but Luke leaned over and gave her a merry smile and wave. She gave a questioning grin back, and then sat. She mimicked their pose, moving her legs to cross at the ankles.
There were no words between the three, only their deep breaths that mingled with the air. But most of those were blocked from the screaming of sea birds, and the crashing of waves far below.
.
After the fourth day Rey learned to wake up before the sun. It was mostly in response to going to sleep shortly after the sun set. She would dress in the traditional Jedi garb (as Luke had explained the first day), but she didn't bother putting on her boots and socks yet. She grabbed them at the entrance of her little room and walked out. The stones cool and biting on her bare feet.
Sometimes Luke would be there before her, but Kylo always was. No matter how early, if it was drizzling (and so pushing his curls into madness) or cold with wind, he sat. His back seemingly broader in the lighter colors.
On their fourth day Rey had the bright idea to find a smooth, flat rock to sit on, and it had taken her hours to find a suitable one. Only for Kylo the next day to sit on it, and steal the spot. She didn't want to perpetuate the rudeness, and so simply found a new stone that morning instead of meditating.
Luke took that one. So with a sigh Rey searched again, and finally found a stone the two allowed her to keep.
After the sun arched across the sky enough to make them sweat, the three moved back down for breakfast of boiled oats with a pinch of sea salt. Rey liked the tea, which Luke allowed a dab of honey to be added to.
As they ate they talked about philosophy and the way of the Force. What would be considered right in situations, what would be beneficial but not entirely just. How to find and decode harder decisions.
It was disconcerting for Rey. She'd always viewed the light and dark connected, but like a coin. On either side, touching at the edges, but never overlapping. Luke demonstrated through these mental exercises that it was nothing like that. It was more like a drop of blood unfurling in water.
Kylo was always better at finding answers than Rey, offering new aspects and ways of seeing the problems. It made Rey feel childish and simplistic with her straight-forward answers.
After that the sun would be high in the sky, and they'd begin their long and slow stretches. Sometimes Kylo took the outer tunic off, and not to be outdone, Rey did the same. The tan on her arms and neck returned.
When their bodies were sufficiently limber, they'd pick up sticks and Luke would instruct Rey with Kylo as her opponent. While Kylo's own lightsaber training was incomplete, Rey had leaps and bounds to catch up. Instead of splitting his time, Luke trained them both.
Amazingly enough Kylo didn't interject or whine, and went along with everything. No matter that he'd learned these basic forms years ago, he followed Rey like her shadow.
.
Dinner was special tonight, as Luke brought Rey down to the ocean and taught her how to pick certain seaweeds from the rocks. The rocks were slippery, causing Rey to take off her boots and cling on with her toes. The hem of her pants became heavy with water, her clothes salty from the sprays. Unlike the processed seaweed she'd grown up on, this was rich in color and taste.
"Did you even ask her if she could swim?" Kylo asked, irritation showing itself the first time since they'd arrived.
Rey puffed up at that, her own anger growing off his for showing such blatant disrespect for their master. "I can handle myself."
Kylo turned to her, and she almost took a step back. She remembered those glowing eyes. Maybe she should be so shocked it'd taken nearly a month for him to throw a tantrum.
"You can teach her tomorrow, then," Luke said calmly as he sat down and began sorting their findings. "Show you it's not easy being a teacher."
Rey had forgotten how much anger Kylo awoke in her body and mind. Even after a healthy, green dinner, she was wide awake for hours past the usual time she fell asleep. She looked out her small window to the stars above, and wondered if she could frame Kylo's murder on Artoo.
Or maybe it was the fear of entering that massive body of movement and energy that kept her awake. She wished she'd taken up Poe's offer to teach her how to swim. But she'd insisted on exploring the forest, thinking she had all the time to learn.
Mind made up, Rey sat up to go outside and fully enjoy the starlight, but stopped when she heard a cry.
She held her breath, wondering if it'd just been the ocean's noises or a lost bird. But then there it was again: high and full of pain, a whimper of submission. Rey got up to her window, and watched Luke in the moonlight go to where Kylo slept.
They reemerged moments later, Kylo nearly as short as Luke with his back as bowed as it was. He had a hand over his face, he other holding onto Luke's shoulder. Both were trembling so bad Rey could see it clearly despite the distance.
They walked up and away, to the cliffside where they meditated.
.
Rey rubbed her eyes as she woke up before the sun, groggy from her lack of sleep. Then she remembered Luke and Kylo; they must've slept less than her. She dressed quickly, barely remembering to grab her boots on the way out.
They were at the cliffside like always, and Rey sat down to join them and steady her breathing. But the lesson was quicker than usual, with Luke standing and saying they needed to start soon if they wanted to avoid the turning high tide.
Rey looked at her master in puzzlement, and then remembered in a flash that Kylo was to teach her how to swim today. From last night she'd forgotten about that.
Going down the stairs was faster, but it jarred Rey's teeth and knees if she went too fast. Thankfully she was behind Kylo who was slow as he lumbered down. They went to the Falcon first to grab new towels. Then they climbed down the sharp rocks to the calmest part of the island.
It was a tiny patch of black sand, the waves only marginally smaller here than around the rest of the sharp rocks. Feeling the sand between her toes was odd; it was heavier, not so fine as the type on Jakku.
Rey refused to stare when Kylo stripped naked to his waist, and went into the water wearing only dark shorts that fell mid-thigh. He turned around to look at her, eyes flicking down to her still modestly-clothed body.
"Salt water ruins clothes," he said, speaking for the first time that day. Rey was surprised it didn't crack like hers often did in the mornings. "Take them off."
Rey refused the urge to roll her eyes, a voice very akin to Poe's cackling in her head 'Well no one's tried this approach before.' Still, she'd worn her old clothes for this reason. If she'd worn her Jedi attire, she'd have had to strip to her bindings and shorts to avoid ruining Luke's gift. But now she kept her pants on, as well as her sleeve-less shirt.
She'd learned clothing was like armor at Jakku, both from the harsh sand, sun, and unwanted pests looking to touch something soft. She felt vulnerable only in one thin shirt and pair of pants, especially with Kylo. But she was learning something smart, something that'd better her, so she approached the ocean with her head held high.
.
Just like when they'd spared for those couple weeks, Kylo wasn't verbal with his instructions. He used his hands and eyes, and usually Rey hadn't minded. But her arms were bare to his hands now, and she jumped each time he touched her. His fingers were smooth and warm.
He didn't appreciate Rey shying away from him, as was shown by the frown on his voice. Still, there wasn't much to teach, as swimming was like fighting in how it was reflex and muscle memory.
Rey struggled at first, not with moving her limbs, but for getting caught up in feeling utterly weightless. She'd taken some baths, dunked her head in shallow rivers. But never had she felt water flowing all around her, holding her. With only her feet glancing the bottom, limbs working against a power to pull her down and away. It beat under her, like a massive hidden heart.
Kylo watched her with steady eyes, his body and most of his face hidden by the water. Unlike her, he seemed entirely at ease for surrendering to the ocean. Most of his hair lay flat, while some locks curled as quickly as he lifted his head from the water.
After some time Rey went back to shore, arms tingling and tired from something so foreign. The water was becoming rougher too with the changing tide, and she could feel it try to pull her out.
Kylo followed after her, spraying water in every direction as he shook his limbs, then his head. Rey watched, a little mesmerized to see him do something so simple. Then, without even grabbing for his towel, he lied face-down on the sand.
Rey, who'd chosen to sit on one of the rocks, studied his back. There were moles flicked haphazardly on his skin, and she noted the tan lines on his arms and the middle of his calves. He twitched, moving his head cradled in his crossed arms to the right. It pulled up his skin from the sand for a moment, showing how the miniscule bits of darkness stuck to his toned body.
Rey glared, thinking the universe too heavy-handed with some of its symbology at times. But she had no desire to follow his lead. She'd had enough sand for her entire life.
Instead she picked up her clothes and climbed the stairs. It was odd, spending an entire afternoon with someone learning an invaluable, new skill without a word. But between Kylo and Luke, she was becoming accustomed to it.
.
Rey had scratched forty-two days on a stone when their breakfast was interrupted by a small spacecraft coming across the ocean. For a heart-stopping second Rey thought the First Order had found them, but then she recognized it as an X-wing. Her heart leaped into her throat in sudden happiness.
She ran down the stairs, nearly tripping over her feet twice in her foolish rush to get down and welcome her friends. Except it wasn't Poe or Finn who came out, but Han and Leia. Rey only missed a beat before welcoming them and allowing herself to be pulled into tight hugs.
They three walked up together, and Rey was surprised to see the immovable general cry when she saw Luke. A few more tears escaped when she pulled Kylo into a hug as well. There were some muffled words that Rey couldn't make out.
She felt suddenly awkward as Han stepped forward as well. She was just an outsider looking into a family that'd fought battles and overcome great odds to stick together.
Rey turned, thinking to do some stretches, before she heard her name get called. It was from Han, but Leia waved her forward. So that was how Rey got stuck in the middle of a family hug along with Kylo. She let her smile stretch wide while he just sighed in submission.
The three older friends stepped away, leaving Rey alone with Kylo. She thought of how again last night she'd stayed awake, and heard him whimper, watched him walk up to the cliff side. But it wasn't something that was asked without caution, and Rey didn't have that yet. She was getting better at reading people, but she wasn't good at softly steering conversations on paths she wanted to walk. Kylo was used to people trying to get information or power out of him for years. He'd see straight through her.
"You have a question."
Apparently she was transparent with her look alone. Maybe it was better to be straightforward like in most things she did.
"I heard you crying last night," she said, keeping her voice pitched low.
"Concerned for me?" he asked, a rough smirk on his face that made Rey blink in shock. "Why should you care? Maybe some morning I'll simply jump off the cliff and cut short your worry of ever having to personally cut me down."
Rey stood in a start, eyes stinging. It must be the salty air. She turned and walked away, thinking that it'd been a mistake trying to get close to someone like him. She'd been alone most of her life not of choice, while he'd purposefully cut himself away.
.
She sat on one of the larger boulders near the ocean, her eyes tracking the wave patterns. Thinking that maybe if she was as graceful and strong as the ocean, one day she'd never feel fear.
Luke said she had some fear in her, but not very much at all. He also looked at her plants she'd brought from the first rebel home base, ran his fingers along the stones and scales she'd brought. She offered him one, but he shook his head. He said that personal possession hadn't been allowed in Jedi days past.
Rey had stiffened at that, but Luke had given her a lopsided smile. He explained that it was something he wasn't much concerned about, the same as emotion. Love and compassion were good, grounding a person and giving them strength beyond the body and mind.
She'd sagged in relief. It'd be impossible to purge herself from her bright emotions, from the biting love she felt for her friends. For Master Luke now. She'd been alone too long, and she'd never willingly step back into that void existence.
Rey's head looked up to a figure dressed in cream descend the stairs. She hoped it was Luke for a blind second, but the hair was much too dark. The figure too tall.
Kylo took long minutes to get to where she'd squirreled herself away. He didn't ask if he could sit next to her, and Rey resisted the urge to punt him into the ocean. As he'd clearly shown, he could swim with ease. And it'd ruin his clothes and dumb perfect hair.
"When I was a kid," Kylo said, voice slow and so unlike when she'd first heard his warped voice, "Han gave me riddles. Constantly."
Rey turned to him, frowning.
"They were to shut me up, as I always talked before thinking my words through. I also never stopped asking about everything, so he decided to give me questions of his own to quiet me."
He turned his head to her, and Rey resisted the urge to run at the deep emotion running through his eyes. For the first time, Rey had the urge to use his previous name. He looked more like a Solo, like someone desperately searching for a home across the stars.
"What does everyone have," he said, the ghost of a smile crossing his face, "But one can never lose?"
Rey frowned at him, and tightened her crossed arms across her chest.
"When you figure it out, I'll apologize."
.
Han and Leia left the next morning, saying they had work to get back to and didn't want to stop any progress for the next generation of Jedi. Han took the Falcon away, saying he'd bring her back next time. Chewie had been nearly inconsolable about being left behind from the lack of room in the X-wing.
Rey watched them leave, thinking of the letters she'd written and handed Leia. One to Poe, one to Finn, and then one for BB-8 for either of them to read to it. Her letters was just rambling prose describing how she missed them, and remembering the brief memories she had of them. Those times were precious, and she loved how she shared them with others.
She'd chewed over Kylo's question late into the night, surprised when she woke that it'd sent her to sleep. It was also surprising when she saw Kylo step out of his room and walk up the cliff, drowsy and clearly confused about what to do with actually sleeping a full night through. He must've found some sort of strength and resolve from seeing his parents.
Master Luke seemed cheerful, too, offering to collect seaweed again. Kylo grimaced, but Rey nodded her head. It was much better to the artificial stuff from Jakku. Full of actual salt and nutrients that made her body feel whole.
Rey took the time to practice swimming with Master Luke nearby. But when she looked up, she saw he was nearly out of sight. Kylo had come down without her looking, his clothes mostly off again and watching her.
He jumped when she waved, and he lifted his hand in response. But he stayed at the shore, instead of joining her in the briny water.
.
That night Luke unexpectedly asked Artoo to play some music. The droid beeped happily, asking which type, and Luke's smile widened as he asked for something comforting. There was a moment of silence, and then a static type of melody started to play. It was slow and winding. Rey wondered if Artoo was playing it himself or if it was a recording.
Luke tapped his foot along to it, before standing and sweeping his sleeves from side to side. Kylo looked uncomfortable, not looking at the older man, but Rey was trapped in awe. She found herself standing, and mimicking his movements.
"Have you ever danced before, Rey?" Luke asked.
Rey was about to shake her head no, but Kylo's voice answered for her.
"She does when it rains."
Her body tensed and stopped at that, and she turned to Kylo with wide eyes. He glanced back up at her briefly before shrugging his shoulders. His hands were at his knees, and they rubbed his thighs for a moment as if to burn off nervous energy.
She was broken from staring at Kylo any longer when Luke took a effortless step closer to her. He grabbed her hands in his and swayed her side-to-side in his rhythm. The bubbling confusions and contemplations at Kylo's words were cut short by her jovial master.
Luke taught her some dances Leia had in turn taught him, and then some easier jigs Han had picked up from certain cantinas. Rey enjoyed the light footwork almost as much as lightsaber training, and if Luke wasn't smiling so wide and chuckling so often, she'd think this a lesson. But it was too easy, too fun to be of much use.
Artoo gave happy beeps as they danced, but Kylo was silent. His eyes were mostly focused on the fire, but Rey noticed he'd watch her for some seconds at a time.
.
One late afternoon Rey went to the small beach to swim, and was surprised at how calm the ocean was. There were no mirrors on the island, so Rey jumped at her reflection. Her eyes looked more green than they ever did on Jakku.
She hummed as she stripped down to her shorts and bindings, carefully folding her Jedi clothes atop the towel she'd brought. She tucked the bottle of water she'd brought to rinse off with in one of her boots.
Remembering the steps Luke had taught her last night, she mixed it with some footwork from Ataru. Rey didn't favor this form as much as the previous ones, but Kylo clearly excelled at it. But it was fun now, integrating the harsh steps as she made her way to the ocean. She hummed lightly, singing nothing but long-drawn syllables.
"Are you- are you trying to seduce the ocean?"
Rey bit off a scream, but not before yelping like BB-8 did when it was kicked. She turned, hands involuntarily flying to her bound chest and bare stomach.
Kylo's face that'd been blank before broke into a grimace, and he turned his head in a decisive snap. Then he turned to the rocks, clawing off both shirts and throwing them in a heap. He kicked off his pants, and they flew to hang on another rock entirely. They billowed in the easy wind sadly.
"Didn't realize this was a private beach," Kylo grumbled, keeping his head down as he went to the calm ocean.
Rey finally dropped her arms, scowled, and followed after him.
.
After some minutes Rey tired of the salt water that didn't pull like it usually did. It was too calm and docile to her taste, no challenge at all. So she got out, wringing her hair out and rinsed it off with fresh water before doing the same with her limbs. She'd learned any salt left on her skin pinched when it dried. It wasn't nearly as annoying as sand, but something easily avoidable.
She rushed to put her clothes on, but Kylo was flat on his back in the water. Eyes closed and floating without a seeming care in the world. Rey watched, almost wishing she hadn't left just yet. He looked so peaceful.
Instead she stayed a the beach, no longer fancifully dancing. She thought back to the steps learned this morning, all stubborn and fast and strong. This form wasn't fluid like ones past, but always on the offensive. Striking and unforgiving.
She was repeating the steps she remembered for the third time when something cold and wet glanced against her forearm. Rey shouted out in shock for the second time in as many hours, and once again looked up to the shocked and than chagrined face of Kylo.
Once her heart was no longer in her throat, Rey continued, and followed in silent understanding when his hand tapped her wrist, her hip, her shin.
When she completed a sequence without him stepping forward, Rey turned and looked behind to him. She flashed him a smile without thinking too much on the subject. He nodded in turn, and moved to dry off and no-doubt put his clothes back on.
Rey watched him go, seeing how his shadow that trailed behind was nearly indiscernible from the dark sand. Then she remembered his riddle from days ago, and she jumped to his side.
"A shadow."
He turned to her, eyebrow raised with his pants halfway pulled up his thighs.
"The riddle you told me," she said, feeling breathless and her smile stretching wide to show her teeth for once not in aggression. "It's a shadow."
Kylo blinked and then nodded, and then looked like he had a smile on his face when he turned away to grab his shirts, and then his boots. All the while Rey watched, eyes sharp and patience lessoning.
"Well?" she asked, snorting.
"I'm sorry?" Kylo asked lightly.
"Your apology."
"I just gave you it," he said, twisting his thick obi belt back around his waist. "Or did you get too much salt water in your ears?"
Rey sputtered, and followed him back up the stairs. She attempted to step on the back of his heels and trip him all the long way down, but found no success in the venture.
.
Rey found a second stone to continue scratching days.
And the days did continue. Meditation and oats in the morning, stretching and contemplative scenarios, footwork and fighting in the afternoons. Swimming and cooking, dancing and music after dinner.
It was clockwork, just the same as Jakku. Except there it had been: wake, scavenge, eat, sleep, and survive. Here she didn't have problems falling asleep, not with an ocean and the waves crashing to remind her she was safe. She had Master Luke, and Kylo and Artoo. She hesitantly considered them all friends.
Because while Kylo had done unforgivable things, she found herself forgiving him. She looked at him no longer with hot anger. Rey looked at him evenly, unbiased. She acknowledged the actions of his past, of turning on Luke and the light. Of turning to the dark, only to revert back to what he'd been raised in.
He was learning more now, growing stronger and not looking so pale. The red that'd been so clear under his eyes was gone, replaced with a healthy tan that brought out the white in his teeth and the dark brown highlights of his hair.
But still, there was something nagging at her. Why had be turned in the first place? It was a delicate situation, not easily brought up to Master Luke, especially with Kylo's inane ability to pop up and shock Rey half-dead.
But that wasn't all of it. It was how he still woke crying in the night, stumbling on his weak legs against the rock walls or with Luke to give support him. She'd already asked him of it once before, and he'd brushed her off crassly. It had obviously hurt him to become aware of Rey watching him struggle.
.
It seemed like any other day when Luke announced they'd be talking with the dead.
"I remember you asking me Rey, the second day of your stay here, if I ever got lonely," Luke said, his crossed arms hidden in his robe. "But I was never alone. I had three of my greatest friends here. One of which was my Father."
Rey didn't even try and be discrete as she looked across at Kylo. It appeared that he'd forgotten how to breath for a moment, and when he did, it was a deep one.
"In the Force, even those beyond can visit us. Obi-wan's master did for him, and now my masters can for me," Luke continued to instruct. "But it's not an easy thing. You have to be open, accepting of seeing those you'd never imagined talking with again. It's usually the living's folly that hinders us from making contact with those past. Simply because we cannot envision it."
Rey nodded, and Kylo remained still in shock.
"With that instruction, I leave you," Luke said before standing and making his way away.
Rey watched him go, sighed at the convoluted wording as always, and then stood. She decided to go to the small beach, to try and become hypnotized in the lapping waves. As she walked, she wondered who Luke expected her to meet. She didn't know Obi-wan, or Yoda, or Anakin Skywalker past stories Luke himself had told her. Would they really be willing to come see her?
She took her boots off, and folded her socks in on themselves. Then she folded up her pants, and stood in the shallows. The water lapped at her ankles, and little fish came to nibble at her toes.
"You remind me of my wife."
Rey could admit that she yelped and turned around so fast she nearly fell into the water. It was embarrassing enough to trip after countless hours of training, but she would've gone out and let the waves take her if she'd fallen. Especially when she turned and saw someone young, with a dashing smile and marvelous hair.
His image was blurry and glowing blue. Rey openly gaped, forgetting about her near fall and everything around her, as she stared at a laughing ghost.
"My name's Anakin Skywalker," he said as he took steps forward, and then did a casual half-bow that was more polite than mocking.
Rey blinked and took a moment to compose herself before asking: "Shouldn't you be visiting your grandson first?"
Anakin stepped closer, but not enough to cross over into the water like Rey. He looked pensive, and she studied the scar that ran along the side of his face. She wondered how he'd gotten it if he'd been such a skilled Jedi and Sith in the stories.
"He can wait," he shrugged effortlessly. "And anyway, Yoda called first on the young boy. You can't imagine how stressful it's been for us, waiting for him to finally let us through. Like a communication line that the other person won't pick up. At least everyone can stop blaming me about the boy, now."
He shook his head, and Rey marveled as his hair moved with the action.
.
Rey sat on the beach, and Anakin followed her. He talked about his wife, explaining his greeting. She talked about Luke, explaining his odd quirks. Anakin laughed, and nodded, saying it was nice to get an outside opinion. His son was so unwilling to talk about himself.
They didn't talk about Jedi strategies or methods, about the ever-winding question of the light and the dark. Instead they argued about which of their home planet sands had been more grating, and who'd had a worse childhood. While he'd been a slave, Rey had to wait twice as long. And she hadn't had a parent like Anakin had. Then they talked about spacecraft and flying, although Anakin had plentiful stories of heroics from the Clone Wars compared to Rey's few.
"You're good for him, you know," Anakin said, his profile dashing despite it only being half there, like a faded holograph of old. "He's already become aware of it, but now he's truly realizing."
Rey furrowed her brow, stopping herself from dragging her fingers through the heavy sand. Anakin turned to her, his crooked grin back in place. Maybe Kylo hadn't gotten it only from Han, if such things could truly be genetic.
"But you're not all light, just as Luke wasn't. He felt anger and pain. No one is entirely dark or light," Anakin continued to say. "You've taught yourself balance, although you did worry me at first that you might just kill off the Skywalker legacy. You made me lose a bet to Obi-wan, by the way."
"Sorry," Rey said meekly.
Anakin waved her off, and continued to say: "He needed it. A good sound kick in the ribs. Someone should've done that for me. Instead Obi-wan decided to cut off my legs."
Rey turned back to the ocean, eyes wide and wondering how talking to a ghost was the easier part of this conversation to accept. Anakin was so good at nonchalance from his past life that Rey worried Kylo would be terribly disappointed. The Darth Vader of legend was no where to be seen in this young man of dry humor, sass, and reckless stories.
"Well, I suppose I should be off to finally confront the brat," Anakin said in a sigh. "And Obi-wan has been impatient to see you. We teased him at first about you being his great-grandchild or something. All in jest, until he got worried and I got shocked. Ah, my old master. Such a lively person."
Rey stood, and wanted to stick her hand out to for him to shake, but knew it was pointless. Instead she gave a smile, and earnestly thanked him for his time. Anakin gave her another suave smile and nod in return.
Anakin began walking back up the steps, and soon Rey couldn't even see the outline of his form.
.
Now there was about an hour a day reserved for talking with the ghosts.
Rey found herself enjoying Obi-wan's company the most. He was like the father she'd never had more than Han or even Luke. He gave sound advice, and told her all his little force tricks that he'd never bothered to tell Luke. He said the boy didn't have the eye for details like she did.
When Yoda visited her, Rey became nervous. Most of the time they sat in silence, and when he did talk it was short, chopped sentences. Rey puzzled over them for hours and days.
And then there was Anakin. Most times it was obvious Kylo wanted to hog his time, but the ghost was usually more willing to search out Rey. It meant Kylo at times would stay with her for the designated time. Anakin mostly found annoyance in this, and so bored him with pilot talk Rey found insightful.
Soon Rey found that she could say hello to the ghosts even when she hadn't meditated and cleared her mind. Obi-wan was cheerful about not feeling the saltiness of the ocean, Yoda would commend her for how much seaweed she ate, and Anakin would offer sound words of advice with her hair in the mornings.
But the island didn't feel crowded, as they were only there for a moment or two before returning to whatever world they now lived in. Luke said she was good with communicating with the dead. Rey thought it was just because she was desperate to communicate to whoever was willing to give her the time.
Kylo seemed to sulk more as the days continued with the ghosts. It was probably because meeting his long-time hero had entirely shattered his hero worship of Darth Vader. When Anakin explained how he'd seduced Padmé with a floating fruit, Kylo had stomped away. Probably to cry.
They flitted into their lives effortlessly, and Rey could see how Luke had never been alone.
.
Rey had counted nearly two hundred days when they were visited not by ghosts but by living friends. This time it was just the Falcon, but many people came out of it.
Kylo and Master Luke were quiet people akin to Rey, giving time to their thoughts before shouting them for others to hear. Finn and Poe were the exact opposite, saying what came to them the moment of creation. They didn't see any point in waiting.
So when they clamored out with BB-8 (also a rash little thing), Rey felt the island change. Then there was Chewie lumbering out and bellowing before running to find Luke. Han and Leia stepped out as well, hugging their son first individually and then together before making their way to Rey. Their hugs felt familiar.
That night they ate better than their usual rations. The visiting party brought fresh food, and Rey marveled at the multi-colored fruit. She watched Kylo sniffing about for desert, and when it was passed out, she gave him her portion. He seemed ready to refuse, but did take it.
After their early dinner there was still light in the sky, so Rey brought Finn and Poe to the small cove. It was usually so quiet when it was her, or her and Kylo, but with them it was loud. Their laughter echoed off the rocks to get swallowed in the sea.
They talked of what they'd been dong at the base, and Rey vaguely explained the simplicity of her everyday life here as best as she could. Theirs sounded more exciting, with scouting runs and near-death experiences. They lied on the sand, all three side-by-side, to warm their skin in the quickly dying sun. Rey realized in a start that she didn't mind showing her skin around them.
Finn asked how it was living with Kylo, and Rey took a long time to think before saying it wasn't as bad as they might think. He was changing.
"I think it's fitting," Poe said without prompt. At the confused looks from his friends, he huffed and rolled his eyes before saying: "Well, I mean, Rey spent most of her life scavenging for trash. Trying to find something useful in the discarded. If anyone can find something redeeming in that pile of broken parts, it's her."
Walking back, they arrived to the sound of two droids in some sort of harmonization. Luke and Leia were dancing, and Rey gave a clear laugh before rushing forward and pulling Han to his feet. Poe and Finn didn't take a moment to hesitate, putting their hands in the other and swinging along.
Rey saw Kylo sitting between BB-8 and Artoo, playing some type of pipes. His notes were simple, the instrument small, dwarfed into nearly nothing in his large hands.
Then Rey glanced behind the small band, her eye catching on a flicker of misty blue and white. The three ghosts were back, like an opening line for a child's story, but they stayed out of sight.
They kept the fire large, and danced long into the night.
.
The others left in the morning, and Rey watched them go with her throat tight in emotion. She wanted to follow them, but there was still so much to learn. Always things to practice and perfect, and she couldn't ask Luke to leave his haven.
So their routine resumed, with the exception of Kylo adding his own melodies with Artoo at night. Luke ran out of dances to teach Rey, so she showed him how she incorporated steps from the lightsaber forms into a dancing fluidity. His eyes seemed lighter than they'd ever been before, and he laughed himself breathless while Kylo and Artoo continued to play without care. Through the nights they separated the forms and made a dance for each. Their one for Juyo was short and stiff, but Luke promised they'd work on it after they learned more of the form.
It rained less and the sun shone more, making the days hot. Rey oftentimes left behind the outer vest and billowy tunic. Kylo followed her lead, but Master Luke continued wearing the entire ensemble.
Rey trimmed her hair (Anakin had been nervous), and spent some afternoons tanning. While she didn't miss Jakku, it was nice to feel her body entirely warm and loose. Muscles that had been tensed hours before in rigid practice now entirely at ease.
Yoda no longer was as intimidating as before, and she enjoyed playing riddle games with him. She got annoyed when Kylo joined, because most of the time he could answer them in a heartbeat. He made her look bad.
She found small shells and long feathers, adding them to her collection. Sometimes the sea spit out smooth rocks. Rey watched small yellow flowers sprout from the ground that wasn't constantly muddy anymore.
She sat and listened as Obi-wan and Anakin bickered over a retellings of a certain stories, and if Anakin really had saved his master's life so many times. Rey nearly cried every time Artoo beeped in pure joy at seeing Anakin, and how they'd sit for hours talking.
Kylo still cried out at night, and he and Luke still went to the cliff to clear their minds. Rey didn't wake up to it as much anymore. She thought he was becoming quieter, only to realize in a start that she was becoming accustomed to it.
Days and days past she would've let him suffer, thinking it only right that he deserve a fraction of the pain he brought on others. But that wasn't the Jedi way, and it wasn't how Rey wanted to think anymore.
One night she rose from her bed, and when Luke made to follow Kylo like he often did, she put a hand on his arm and held him back.
"He won't tell me," she admitted, and her eyes stung at the truth of it.
.
They sat in silence for a long time, enough for Rey to notice the track of the two moons.
"I didn't notice it for years," Luke said softly. "And by that time Snoke had a steady hold on Ben."
Rey mulled over the simple words, then jerked in shock at what they meant. Her voice wavered as she asked: "Snoke corrupted Ben when he was a child?"
Luke looked up at her, eyes sad and looking older than he was.
"Why do you think I hid you away where no one would look? It was hard, nearly impossible to do, but it needed to be done. For you to strengthen your mind and grow up free from his corruption."
The information that Luke had left her on Jakku blurred her already racing mind. Kylo had been twisted before he could chose for himself, broken and used as a puppet from something stronger. He hadn't failed himself, Luke had. Rey swallowed, feeling dizzy.
"Are you- are you-" Rey took a deep breath in. "Are you my father?"
A glimpse of the familiar mirth came back into the older man's eyes, and Rey smiled back hesitantly.
"No," Luke answered bluntly. "You were what my Grandfather was."
Rey's eyebrows furrowed, and she asked out in the tone of a demand: "How am I like Anakin past our mutual hate of sand?"
"In how you were a force baby," Luke said kindly.
Rey frowned, looked down at her hands. She realized they were shaking, so she pressed them to her thighs to stop.
"I found you on a planet similar to this one," Luke said thoughtfully. "You collected sea glass and shells on the beach. You were an orphan. The town folk said your mother died in childbirth, and that they didn't know who could've been the father."
Rey was silent for a moment before asking: "How do you know?"
"I don't. But who knows anything for absolute certain?"
.
Luke went back to his room, saying he was tired. But not before explaining a few more things.
It was at night, when Ben's mind was open and dreaming, when Snoke took the opportunity to strike. Ben was still building up his inner wall of defense, his hold on the Force weakened when he entered deep sleep. Snoke took every opportunity to make his past apprentice feel pain for betraying him.
All his life Kylo- Ben had been haunted by a creature of the dark. He'd been influenced away from the light, no matter Luke's late attempts to pull him back. Ben had been taken away just like Rey, but had been more scared then she ever was.
Maybe it was still his fault. Maybe Ben could've tried harder, asked for more help. Turned to his parents, turned to anyone. But how could he have known, as a baby, as an easy child, that some thoughts weren't his?
Rey felt sick, like that first and only time she'd drunk alcohol in celebration. That party seemed so long ago, dulled by the waves and the pull of the tide.
She went back to her bed, although she wanted to go see Ben. But she was tired from the sudden revelation about him, of about herself and how she fit into it. How Ben had spared her, given Luke the precious seconds needed to whisk her away before all was lost.
It at least confirmed something she'd contemplated: that she didn't have true parents. She would never be like Ben or Poe, and be forever like Finn. But the ex-stormtrooper had accepted that. Rey could too. That was the easiest thing to accept after tonight's revelations.
She lied down, put her head on her thin pillow, and cried.
Rey cried for the dreaming little girl who'd looked up to Ben Solo. Rey cried for the little boy who'd never been allowed to be but a child. Rey cried for Master Luke who'd felt like he'd failed for years and years.
Rey cried for Ben having the courage to push away something that'd held him his entire life. Cried for his bravery in putting his life back into the hands of those that'd failed him before.
Anakin flitted into view and crouched at her bed. He gave her his first sad smile, showing her a glimpse into the wreckage that had become his life. He lifted a hand, running it over her hair. It didn't feel like fingers, but a cool breeze. Rey smiled at his attempt to comfort her through her tears.
.
"Your eyes are red," Ben said quietly. His hand lifted, as if to reach out and touch her, but it dropped back after a moment. It could've just been a twitch.
Rey blinked at him, groaned lightly again and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes.
"I say we take a break for the day," Luke spoke suddenly.
Rey shook her head at that, removing her hand to look up at her easily smiling master. He gave her a wink, and Rey wondered how he didn't look tired from not sleeping like her. She realized, with his past and heavy thoughts, he was probably accustomed to never getting enough sleep.
"Why?" Ben asked out, confusion in his brisk tone.
"You need to practice shielding yourself better," Luke said, "And Rey has things to think on as well. There is nothing wrong with taking the time needed."
Ben's eyes flicked to hers, dark and searching. Rey kept her eyes to her bowl of oats, thinking how she couldn't face him right now.
She hoped to see Anakin or Obi-wan as she washed her dishes, but neither of them showed. She knew better than to seek out Luke after he'd ordered time for themselves. But she just wanted a friend to sit with, so she didn't have to think so heavy on her thoughts.
.
Rey meditated further at the small beach. She forced herself to take off her boots, socks, and rucked up her pants above her knees. She sat in the sand willingly, feeling its cool smoothness in contrast to the hot scratchiness she'd grown up in.
Master Luke had given her so much to think on, to try and uncover. Her jumbled memories from first touching his lightsaber were clearer, but no less emotional.
She furrowed her brow, trying to remember. It came back in parts, in small waves.
A lanky boy standing next to Master Luke, looking surly and wearing dark browns and black. Rey decided the braid behind his ear was odd, and she wanted to pull on it. (She agreed with Han about the nose and ears.)
A group of children always around, and Rey learning that it was alright to have friends. Learning how to talk and communicate with those around her.
A little girl with a saber of blue, her, learning Shii-Cho. The Determination Form that mimicked everything about her at the time. Master Luke showing her how easy it was for her to use the force.
Rey leaned over her crossed legs, breathing hard and trying to find her center. At the sound of a scrape, she stood in a jolt. She knew never to turn her back on the ocean, but she had to in order to watch Ben walk down the steps. Caught between two massive, roiling forces.
He looked at her openly, and Rey belatedly realized she was crying. Furiously she rubbed her long sleeves against her face, smearing snot and tears with little success.
"So you've started remembering?" Ben asked, a sad broken smile on his face. It looked like Anakin's and spoke of inner turmoil. It was so different from her memories, of the quiet but quick boy. "I was wondering when you'd get around to it."
.
They sat in silence, close enough for their knees to brush against each other. Rey jolted but didn't shy away, and Ben didn't move out of her reach. They sat for a long time, Rey's head full of past thoughts to the present man beside her. She wondered if he was thinking of her, too.
Ben pulled out the small pipes from before, and Rey didn't hide her interest in them. Wordlessly, he handed them over to her and she grabbed for them. It was a single row of four white tubes, and first Rey thought it was bleached bone. But it wasn't that- it was some type of hard wood.
She put her mouth to the furthest right one, blew, and was rewarded with a warbling, high note. She tried another note, then stopped up a few of the holes with her fingers.
Rey struggled through trying to find a melody, and turned to ask Ben for help. But he'd relaxed onto his back, his head cushioned behind crossed arms. A look of almost easy bliss was on his face despite her fumbling playing. He was relaxed, at ease with this moment.
Rey turned back to the pipes, stubborn to try and figure them out. Or at least wipe that smug look off his face. But after some time her lips got tired, and Rey was irked from her inability to master it easy.
There were no words between them in the dying day's light. But then again, sometimes silence was the best gift to give another.
Because while there were questions of the future, of what they'd do together or separate, what might become of the galaxy if they should both fail, there was nothing truly to say. Rey could feel the bond between them hum in delight at the two ends finally finding some sort of equal footing. No longer did they tug and pull, but they held fast together.
.
They walked back up, Rey behind Ben like before, and still trying to trip him. She nearly succeeded once, but she reached forward to steady him with her hands on his back. They seemed small to the wide span of power hidden under the clothing.
He glanced back at her, cocked an eyebrow, and nodded in thanks. Rey pressed her lips together to continue the buoyant silence between them and nodded in return.
When they returned to camp Luke had already started the fire and was tuning something wooden with eight strings. Artoo was fiddling with its voice, trying to find new tones or altering others. The first night of its simple melody were gone, as the droid was quite innovative. Although it didn't have much else to do around the island.
Rey grinned when Luke started to strum and tap his booted foot against the ground. He gave another wink to Rey, and then a boyish smile to his nephew. Rey realized in a start that she still had Ben's pipes, meaning he had nothing to occupy himself with as usual.
Not allowing herself to think much on it, Rey turned back to Ben and took a half step towards him. She bowed, as if this was a formal fight and not a careless dance.
Ben's eyes darted over her entire body, landing on her bare feet a long moment before he sighed. He unclipped his obi and belt of various pouches, his lightsaber attached. They'd used it more often now, the red as jarring each time it was ignited as the first time Rey had seen it.
His tunic was loose around his torso, and Rey danced closer to him. She decided to mix together the steps of Ataru and Juyo tonight, knowing he favored those above the others. They were quick and smart, dark and angry. Daring in how it left you open to attack if you weren't careful.
Despite how good he was when it was just the footwork for the two forms themselves, Ben was stiff as he mirrored her actions, or stepped to contrast and compliment her.
Eventually Rey stepped close enough to put a hand high on his shoulder, the other getting lost in the loose fabric of his tunic before finding a place at his side. The same side she'd cracked two ribs on, when she'd been angry and he'd been broken.
Ben breathed in fast, and then his body relaxed like he was suddenly in the sun and not a night's chill.
They were just finding a rhythm with the three ghosts decided to join. Yoda was silent and smiling, Obi-wan barely holding back his giggles, but Anakin was incessant in his critique on Ben and his flattery on Rey.
It made Ben look over and glare, which only made Anakin insult his grandson's hair and ability to actively charm.
.
Rey found herself spending less time alone and more time with Ben. He was like a benevolent shadow, a friendly shade to what he'd been before. No longer did she have nightmares of him, and instead her thoughts on him changed into things much lighter.
It didn't mean she forgot of what he'd been. But she accepted that people could change, and grow into things better than their past selves. She'd been a lonely scavenger, waiting on the frail hope of someone coming back for her. She'd learned to save herself.
Anakin had killed those younglings just as Kylo had, but he'd saved countless lives after returning to the light. Maybe history would have a beneficial repeat of itself.
She didn't need Ben Solo, but she found herself enjoying his company. Rey hesitated to call his behavior shy, but that's what it seemed to be. His eyes were constantly glancing to her, his speech slow and words carefully chosen. It was too soft to be awkward, too odd to be comforting.
Most days they spent in silence, no words needed. They swam, then lied on the sand to dry off. They'd take turns swatting the sand off their backs with towels. She taught him how to fashion her hair, and she trimmed his when the dead-ends bothered him. He kept growing it out, and Rey took enjoyment in adding elaborate braids. Master Luke approved, saying he needed to follow after Leia more. Anakin laughed and approved as well.
He didn't offer any help with her learning how to play the small pipes, so unlike Luke's instrument, it was taking her much longer to master. But she was getting better at singing. Her voice was rough and cracked too often, but it was hers. And she could always see Ben fighting a smile so it didn't ruin his playing.
More days passed, and Rey realized in a start that she couldn't remember the last time she'd scratched a mark. It made her stop counting, and made her enjoy the days easier. The training was making her mind and body sharp and prepared, her time with Master Luke and Ben smoothing out the roughness of her heart. The ghosts uplifted her hopes for the future and gave her confidence in their praise. Artoo taught her songs to whistle, and told her stories of the past that made her laugh and learn more.
But it was said droid that needed maintenance Rey couldn't offer with no tools here. The salt water had eroded his parts, slowly eating his metal away to make it hard for him to move around with ease. Any more and his wiring might be permanently compromised.
Rey realized in a start that the four of them would have to leave soon.
.
"Don't we have more to learn?" Rey asked nervously over breakfast. Usually she liked the oats for their practical nature of keeping her full, but now they were unappetizing.
"Just because we're leaving doesn't mean we're stopping our training," Ben said.
"Of course," Rey said, blushing and feeling stupid from her worry. She'd spent so much time on Jakku wanting to leave and explore the stars forever. Now she didn't want to leave one small island on one planet in the outer rim. "You're to come with us, then?"
Luke hummed uncommitted, chewing on a bite of food before saying: "Something tells me Ben is to become a Master."
Ben obviously hadn't expected that statement, as he began coughing a moment later. Rey scooted a few inches closer and patted him on his back. He drank some water before giving Rey a grateful look.
"That's right! Me!" Luke said with a laugh, and Rey thought he'd been spending too much time with Yoda. "I'm to promote you!"
And so Luke called Leia for pick-up, and within the hour the Falcon reappeared in the sky. The hotter season was long gone, and the ship cut through the thick fog over the sea. It's metallic body clashed against the muted colors.
Rey hurried to gather her modest collection of rocks and plants. Some of the ones she'd brought had died in the new, damper climate. But some had thrived, and she'd taken some of the yellow-flowered weeds and the every-encroaching moss.
Ben didn't have anything but his clothes and belt, leaving his hands empty. Rey felt a little foolish with her small box of belongings. But Luke went forward and stroked a few petals of the plants with affection.
They walked down, and Rey felt nervous despite the cheery smiles of Han and Chewie. She turned, feeling the salt against her face and the wind in her ears. Her eyes stung, but she couldn't cry now. This was good that they were leaving, moving onto the next step of her life.
Ben approached her, his right hand closed over something. He jerked his chin towards her hands, and Rey passed over the box to Chewie who took it inside. With her hands free, she cupped her palms together and looked up.
He dropped a stone in her hand for the second time, this one as different from the other as Rey and Kylo had been in the beginning. The one before was smooth and shining. This one was rough and chipped, dull and seemingly boring.
But Rey knew its importance. It was a small chip of the countless stacked stones that made this place amazing.
.
They traveled a long distance made short to the rebel base without a hitch, and Rey stepped out to the sound of cheers and welcomes. Poe and Finn were the first to swarm her with hugs and kisses.
The pilots and rebels were more pulling than the ocean in a storm, and Rey found herself helpless as she was lost in the swell of them. She looked behind her to Ben and Luke stepping off, the two getting a modest reception by General Organa.
Before Rey could fight the tide, she was brought to a room with a massive banner declaring 'Happy Birthday' and a cup thrust in her hand.
"I don't know when my birthday is," Rey said uneasily.
"It doesn't matter," Poe said brightly. "It's been over a standard year and a half since we've been at this base. No matter what date it's at, it's happened already! Maybe twice!"
"Did they do this for you?" Rey asked to Finn.
"Yeah. We decided my birthday could be the day I met Poe," Finn said, raising a hand to rub against the back of his neck. Rey wished she had skin as dark as him, so her blushes weren't so obvious.
"I thought you'd chose that as your anniversary," Rey said dryly.
Poe giggled at that, and pulled Finn close for a kiss before asking her when he'd told her. Then it was a whirlwind of talking with others, learning now things had been faring here. People complimented her on the new clothes and stylish boots. Poe especially like her boots. BB-8 never stopped swirling at her feet and giving her playful shocks.
It was hours before she pulled away, head spinning from the drinks and having so many people around.
She wandered the compound, wondering where she'd be sleeping. She didn't have a com to ask the general. As much as she loved Finn and Poe, she didn't want to be a bother.
Her body tensed as something moved in the shadows; she grasped her lightsaber before Ben stepped into the starlight. His hair was loose of the tie he usually used, curls loose and waving around his shoulders. The wind was always moving them so much on the island that Rey hadn't realized how long they'd grown.
.
They walked around the base together, shoulders or arms occasionally brushing as they stood close. There wasn't any true reason for this, as everywhere they wandered there was room to walk. There were some people around, who instantly smiled at Rey before becoming uneasy around Ben. Or Rey supposed Kylo Ren, as they still thought of him as.
But he'd grown from that past shell of a man. The heavy black clothes and concealing mask. Now he kept his face free of any mask except restraint. He'd learned to conceal half his emotions on his face from Rey. Good thing he couldn't hide a thing in his eyes.
While the base before had been in green hills, this one was surrounded by flat lands of tall yellow grass and small shrubs. Soon Rey skipped away from Ben to explore outside the base, and the other Jedi grudgingly followed after a huff or two.
Without the few lights of the base, the sky lit up further to them. There was no moon for this planet, and the stars were once again a foreign language to Rey. Unlike with Jakku, she missed the grouping of stars on their little island planet. She wondered if the sun she'd basked in before was one of those small stars, far away but not gone.
"We'll go back," Ben voiced from her side, voice rough and unsure. "When the time comes. We'll be able to return."
Rey looked up at him, and gave a slow smile. Ben's lips twitched, as if wanting to return it or say something more, but he stopped himself. Instead he reached forward, fingers brushing her cheek and following strands of loose hair.
As if only now realizing what he'd done, Ben retracted his hand in a flash and took a step away. His eyes focused on the ground, and then back to the sky. Rey recognized the exasperated exhale of air from all the times Rey had beaten him.
She smiled wide, even if she knew it would crinkle her face. She took a calm step closer to him, and slipped her small hand into his warm one.
He noticeably jumped at the contact, but his eyes kept to the stars. After a moment, when Rey didn't retract her touch, Ben curled his fingers around hers.
.
"I can't tell you exactly why, but I worry about him," Anakin said one day without warning to his presence. "Maybe because he's too like me. He annoys me so much there's no other option."
Rey nodded, not paying much attention as she was busy with learning the guitar Poe had given her. He'd gotten a new one from Finn recently, and so had handed down his old one to her. It had two less strings than Luke's one she'd learned off of, but she was always ready to learn more.
"Hey, sand scrub. Are you even listening to me?"
"Of course," Rey responded automatically.
In truth, Anakin had a bad habit of waltzing down long conversations with his voice as a partner to his thoughts. Rey was supposed to be a willing and silent audience as he contemplated questions of morality and choice. It didn't take long for Rey to wonder why Obi-wan fondly called him dramatic.
It wasn't annoying, and it wasn't easily earned. Rey supposed if she'd lead the life of Anakin Skywalker, she'd be as lost. Emotions skyrocketing from one extreme to the other, getting crippled by his best friend, his wife to dying and his children hidden from him out of fear of him killing him, and then sacrificing himself for one said child. Now a wandering ghost- yes, he had ever right to wonder and contemplate.
But he just did it so often Rey at times tuned him out for another task.
"I'm talking about your Jedi-buddy-bud here," Anakin said, voice dripping with distain. "Don't you worry about him?"
"Ben?" Rey asked, fingers light against the chords, and thinking this was so much easier than those pipes. "He's better. He'll continue to get better. Not much to it."
"How do I always forget you're an optimist," Anakin snorted.
"You're one, too," Rey chirped back.
"Don't remind me," he groaned.
.
Except the scenery, nothing much changed.
The three still ate breakfast together, everyone else watching and talking about them in hushed questions. They talked of problems and solutions and stories as they walked away from the base to the largest tree Luke had been able to find. There they stretched, the sun mercilessly beating down.
The three became tanner in a month here than the entire time on the island. There was no salt to coat and protect their skin, and no fog and clouds to block the sun.
Under the twin-suns' light they'd go through the forms. Most days Luke sat in the shade and drank cool sweet tea while Ben instructed Rey. She wondered, if things had been different, how she would've been his padawan. But it was no use dwelling on pasts long impossible.
She did spend more time with Poe and Finn, BB-8 at times coming to the training. He still tried to shock Ben, although his attempts lessoned in time with Rey's continued glares. Rey also had plentiful space and time to discover new things in the tall grasses.
Like a four-horned skull, which had given Finn a scare when he'd come to visit her rooms. She braided the grasses together to make small, swirling wreaths. Then there were still more stones, most crystals and rough. Rey spent entire days searching for hollow rocks, hoping to crack them open and find something bright inside.
Ben came along on one of those days, and when he suggested using a lightsaber instead to cut it smoothy open, Rey felt like an idiot before agreeing. She'd openly stared when he'd ignited his sword, but instead of red, it was green. Unlike the red before, it wasn't blurred with barely restrained power. It was smooth and controlled, honed and powerful.
Rey excused her wide smile and jovial attitude for the simple white crystals they found that day.
.
"Ben?"
"What?"
Rey glanced over to the man lying next to her, his eyes closed to the art of the stars above them. But it'd been a hot day, and Rey had spent most of it watching Master Luke and Ben spar. It'd been amazing, to see the flashes of blue and green. The colors were all the sharper in the dry world and dull-orange sky.
Ben's prominent nose was a touch red, and Rey reached forward to flick it. But before she could, his hand darted to catch her wrist.
"Why did you change your mind?"
Ben cracked an eye open, looking at her with an unsaid question for clarity.
"When you changed sides," Rey said, lowering her hand and hyper-aware of how Ben hadn't let her go yet. "Why did you?"
Ben blinked, before finally releasing her and looking back up that the sky. It was vast with possibilities, but Rey was more focused on the man before her. Someone she'd wanted to kill on blind instinct, and now couldn't imagine dying. Grief would twist her into something inhuman.
She hadn't been looking carefully, but now she knew just how lost he'd been. It only made her chest swell in pride at seeing him so whole and strong now.
"When I said not to fear it," Ben said softly, "That I felt it, too."
Rey turned on her side to face him better, but remained silent.
"You awoke something in the force, Rey. You awoke something- created a pull between the two of us. I didn't understand it, didn't know what it meant until Luke gave me back my memories of you."
He turned to look at her, and Rey didn't dare to even blink. His fingers curled protectively in her hand before falling away.
"I wanted to follow you. So I did. I was weak, and I gave into following you instead of Snoke."
.
The ghosts still came and went, but they didn't show themselves as often as they did. Rey felt a pang of worry at that, thinking maybe that they didn't want to spend as much time with them anymore. Or maybe they were becoming boring.
"Yoda feels something in the works," Obi-wan explained one day. "He spends most of his time talking with Luke. Instructing him about small things, and how to start over again when everything was lost before. To do what Yoda had been too exhausted to do in his time."
Rey nodded, wondering if Kylo Ren would ever leave the new Ben Solo's life alone. But it would be foolish to forget his past actions, nearly as foolish as to recognize they were made from another person entirely.
"And maybe it's a little painful watching you with my grandson," Anakain said breezily.
Rey narrowed her eyes at that, wishing yet again that it'd be possible for her to reach out and flick his ear. Or ruffle his perfect hair.
"You're just jealous of their youth," Obi-wan said, an eyebrow lifted with the corners of his mouth.
Anakin turned to them with a frown at that, before saying: "I'm not the one who came back in the image of an old man."
"I was always more handsome than you ever were," Obi-wan said effortlessly. "Even now."
"I liked your hair," Rey said honestly. "It was so bright and pretty. Like polished copper."
Obi-wan chortled gleefully, and when Rey looked back to Anakin his face was broken. As if Rey had just abandoned him, betrayed him on the most important front.
.
Rey wanted to ask how Ben slept at night, as it was impossible to know now. They slept rooms and buildings apart, what with Poe demanding she always be close for playing guitar, cards or a drink. Ben was on the other side of the compound, living in Leia's small but personal house. Him, Master Luke, his parents and Chewie somehow managed cohabitation.
Rey wanted even more-so to go find the dark lord himself and kick his teeth in. She'd settle for Hux, although he didn't seem nearly as bad. More of a puppet than an actual king to conquer.
Rey didn't like falling asleep, knowing they were still out there. Knowing the First Order still limped along, wounded but not entirely culled. Luke could pick up on her unease, and said she needed patience. She needed to finish her training if she and Ben were to take on such a power.
On the island patience had been easy. The days blended together, and there was a sweet simple melody to the four inhabitants. But here at the base, everyone ran and buzzed to do jobs. Everyone worked hard and harder, while Rey simply went out every day and honed skills she wasn't putting to use.
When she brought it up to Ben, he gave a rare bark of laughter. He shook his head, his shaggy locks falling into his eyes. Rey itched to braid them back like she had before, when times had been simpler. When there were less eyes always watching, always analyzing them.
"You think I don't want to hurt them?" Ben said, voice harsh and making Rey want to take a step away. "I want to kill them."
His smirk was a wound, and Rey realized that maybe it would be best to wait. If not for her, but for Ben to try and find himself. It must be hard, never having had the opportunity to be himself before. Now as a man of thirty he was just learning who he was.
He must've sensed how he'd worried her, as he reached forward to hold her hand in two of his. He gave her a hopeful smile, and tilted his head to the side in question.
Rey took her hand away and huffed, made a show of trying to step on his toes. Ben danced away.
.
Luke continued to watch, and Rey and Ben continued to sweat and practice. Apparently they were the lucky ones, as Luke had to relearn all of this himself from scratch and with Yoda appearing every few days to give vague pointers. All with the timeline of being ready by the time Ben was young enough to crawl.
But then Luke was leaving them alone more, favoring to pilot an X-wing to run across the galaxy. Apparently he didn't want the other two remaining Jedi to endanger themselves, but the old man with all his priceless wisdom was fair game.
It left Rey more time alone with Ben, and they practiced the seven forms with their lightsabers only. The days of wooden swords and sticks were long gone, but they were always in control. Rey didn't have to worry over splinters, and she had no fear of facing Ben with his sword of green.
Then one day Luke brought back a child of seemingly six standard years back with him. The boy appeared humanoid on two legs with two arms. Yet he had fourteen fingers, four of which were thumbs. He had four eyes, and his hair was a orange that seemed too bright to be real.
Simply put, he was fascinating, but the boy himself was entranced with Rey. He followed her like the youngling he was, tripping in his heavy boots and grabbing at her clothes with his incessant fingers.
Rey should find it annoying, but it was exhilarating to her. For someone to look at her in unconditional, uncomplicated adoration. To see her as a hero without having to prove or sacrifice herself.
Ben was less enthusiastic about the child. Maybe because the boy was clearly envious of the time Ben took away from Rey. It only got worse when Luke returned as second time, again with a boy. This one had pale skin and dark eyes, ears curving up against his skull.
Luke spent time teaching them, but was off for a third time in a month's time. Ben explained their master could sense the children when he meditated in the mornings. That he was building up a gathering of Jedi for the second time.
While Ben was clearly uncomfortable around the children, he was never harsh or mean. He was polite and indifferent, and Rey realized that was the best he could offer them through his heavy weight of guilt from the first grouping of trainees.
Obi-wan and Yoda were positively gleeful about the children while Anakin was hesitant like Ben.
.
Rey knew something was amiss when Poe and Finn approached her in the mess hall. First off, because of the heavy looks on their faces. Second, because they didn't even have trays in their hands. It was serious enough to not even pretend a front.
Rey looked down to BB-8, who only beeped in confusion that matched hers.
"Rey, we can't just ignore it any longer," Finn said as they sat across of her. His voice carried, and Rey lifted a hand to hush him. But he just blithely continued on. "When were you going to tell us."
"Tell you what," Rey said, whispering and hoping he'd pick up the queue.
"About Kylo Ren," Poe said, frown deep on his face.
"You mean Ben Solo," Rey said automatically.
Finn and Poe shared a glance before shaking their heads and facing Rey again. It was eerie how they'd learned to communicate without word. A language between just two.
"When were you going to tell us that you and Ben Solo are matched, then?"
Rey furrowed her brow, and said: "Well, obviously we're together because we're the last Jedi. We have that strong commonality."
"Are Jedi only allowed to be with other Jedi? Good thing I grew out of that crush on you," Finn said, shaking his head sadly.
"What? No- I mean- technically in the past we weren't allowed to be with anyone. But like material possessions and acknowledging emotions, Luke's decided to let that fall to the side a bit."
"So- you're with him as a choice?"
"I like spending time with Ben," Rey said haltingly. "You can hold your grudges, but I don't need to judge him perpetually on what he's done in the past. He's actively changed, and you're the ones being cruel now for not seeing that."
"Told you we'd only get a lecture," Poe moaned dramatically.
Finn hushed him, and attempted to get an elbow in the pilot's side.
"Well, whatever is going on with you two, just know it's a little painful to watch sometimes," Poe said, bringing Finn close to his side so his boyfriend couldn't gut him.
Rey blankly watched as her two best friends jostled, attempting to one-up the other with a kiss on the cheek. People were looking, either laughing or blushing at the silliness of the couple.
"I still don't understand what you're talking about," Rey said, annoyance seeping into her voice.
Poe and Finn finally managed to detangle themselves from the other. They exchanged a look, then back to Rey, then back to themselves. Finally Poe spoke, bringing clear light onto the convoluted talk.
"Just that, well, Kylo's obviously in love with you."
Rey gaped at them in shock while BB-8 conjured a frenzy of angry beeps and curses.
.
Rey wished her friends didn't care about her so much sometimes. Because while they meant well, they still didn't recognize her as the strong, independent young woman she was. She could protect herself from all sorts of attacks.
Except for the ones she brought on herself.
Maybe in the back room of her mind, where it was dark and dusty, she knew. There was something about how Ben hunched his shoulders to listen to her talk. How he'd given her a third rock since their time arriving here. How he climbed roofs and waited for her every night to watch the stars together.
It was in how his hands brushed against her whenever it was convenient, but not obvious. It was how he packed snacks for outside, even if he never was hungry between breakfast and dinner. He was always be willing to fix her hair. He carried his little line of pipes wherever he went, just in case the desire to sing one of their little songs came upon Rey.
It was something past friendship, or even a tentative familial bond.
And honestly, it shouldn't be all that hard to imagine. Rey thought herself moderately attractive, and for some odd reason men were drawn to those who could tear them down and put them back up in the same breath. But Ben was different than the men and women who stared after her. He was smarter, careful with his feelings like no one Rey had ever met, and expected ever would.
She should be flattered at his favor. Instead she was petrified.
What if she didn't like him back? What if he asked for too much, and she found herself compromising? What if Luke didn't approve- if Han and Leia would look at her in disappointment. If Poe and Finn would gag and never call Ben by his true name. If the ghosts decided never to show them to herself again from shame.
Rey had thought herself into a fit by the time she arrived at the tree for training. Master Luke was off finding a fourth child, meaning Ben and her were in charge of the three today. It was still simple, and they were just going through first form movements anyway.
When Rey looked up, met eyes with Ben, everything fell away. He gave her a crooked smile, lifted an eyebrow to get lost in his messy fringe. Asking her, clear as one of Artoo's singing notes, what was wrong and if he could help.
Rey skipped up to him, grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled his face down to hers. His lips mashed against hers more than met, and Rey was thankful no lip got split. She tried to pull away, embarrassed at her impatience and lack of finesse, but Ben didn't let her.
One of his hands found her lower back, pushing her flush against his taller body. The other lifted to sit against the curve of her neck, and then up to her face. His lips moved clumsily over hers, and Rey thought it was perfect.
After a long moment they pulled away, and looked at each other. But the moment was broken by a shrill scream, and they turned to see the two newer children holding back the first. All four of his eyes were leaking bright yellow tears.
And then there was a cackle, and it seemed the three ghosts had decided to join them. Yoda was nodding and smiling, ears bending with action. Anakin was smirking, and then laughing some more. Obi-wan looked defeated, shaking his head. A lost bet, then.
.
The lesson that day was stiff in reaction to Rey's sudden amorous advance. The first boy was still sniffling, the girl was looking at Rey in clear, new amazement, and the third boy with his pointed ears looked bored like he always did.
After Rey had pulled away, Ben didn't want to let her go. But she slapped his hands away, whispering they could save that for later. Now it was time for the younglings. It was more than a tad hypocritical, as she herself should've waited.
First they meditated for twice the usual time, seeing as everyone's nerves were on edge for more reasons than one. Rey thought of which rock she could give to the little multi-fingered child. Or maybe feathers would be better. No- one of those little skulls with the four horns. Like his four eyes.
Ben still looked dazed when she decided that was enough sitting, so she pushed him under the shade of the tree. It wouldn't do well for him to get sunstroke as well as heartstroke. She tapped his forehead with a light kiss, and that seemed to wake him a bit.
Yoda and Obi-wan had gone, but Anakin had stayed. He moved to sit with Ben, maybe to talk, most likely to poke fun.
They were still only dealing with the first form, and the steps of Shii-Cho familiar and loved by Rey. Apparently she'd mastered it faster than any other in the first grouping of new Jedi. It was a great compliment, considering how randomized and unique each person made their steps and ability for a simple style. Rey had always been good at making the most out of the bare minimum.
Once the children were tired, their blindfolds nearly sweated through, Rey allowed them to stop. Despite dragging their feet through the form's steps moments before, they sprinted back to the camp to get water.
It seemed it wasn't the same for Ben, who'd dozed off with his head against the worn trunk. The blurred form of Anakin was no where to be seen, but knowing him, he'd be back soon to poke fun at Rey in turn. Ben looked so rarely at peace, although that feeling had been accompanying him more.
Rey didn't want to wake him from such a peaceful sleep, but she was hungry and thirsty. She reached forward and pulled at one of his long locks of hair. She noted he hadn't shaved for a few days. Was he going to follow after Master Luke on another front?
He woke up slowly, his eyes adjusting to the light, and then up at Rey's face. His smile was lazy, and it somehow made it easier for Rey to breath. His small grin widened, making it crooked, before he leaned forward in a flash and pressed his lips against her for only a breath.
Then he stood up, took her hand, and they walked back to base. It was as simple as that.
.
Things still weren't completely easy and effortless. There was still the regrowing First Order. There was still the shadow of Snoke, who made Ben wake up in bright pain on occasion. It'd gotten better with Rey sleeping next to him, but his past master still managed to find cracks in their joint shield. They only resolved to get better.
There were seemingly insurmountable tasks and enemies that needed to be taken down. Rey still felt painfully young, and Ben prematurely scarred. Training everyday helped ease the ache, but it was a worrisome constant she couldn't dare rush. When would she be promoted to master? When would she be forced to kill again?
Master Luke was still stretching himself too thin, first to find the children, and then to try and teach them himself. Ben and Rey helped when they could, but she still needed training. Yoda and Obi-wan were getting better at staying in their world longer, but it wasn't entirely consistent.
She thought it might be awkward, knowing the person you spared with and taught you would be the same you'd fall asleep beside. But Rey was eager to learn, so she focused her mind and corralled her emotions. At least, most times. It was playing dirty, but she could get the upper hand on him with an easy twist of her body or lips on his skin.
BB-8 still electrocuted Ben every chance it got. Rey thought it'd forgiven Ben for what he'd done to the droid's friends before when he was Kylo, and Poe agreed. Now it was just that Ben had stolen Rey away from it. As if dealing with that enamored youngling hadn't been bad enough.
Yet the light burned away any shadows.
Rey could feel the tentative bond that'd formed nearly three years ago in their younger, rasher days strengthen. They could communicate no matter the distance, although they usually abused it more than using it for any true purpose. Ben would ask where she was, she'd answer, and they'd meet up to stargaze. Or they'd make plans for lunch.
Ben was still tricky to explanations out of, especially for his emotions. It wasn't uncontrolled anger now as much as why he had to cuddle her to death nearly every night. Why he had to give her nearly a rock a day now. Why he still felt he wasn't worth her time or affection.
But they were learning and growing together. Rey was happy with that.
FIN
