Chapter Text
Buzzzzzzzzzz Buzzzzzzz
Yoongi looks at the monitor to see who is at his door at this hour. It's Jimin.
Knock –- Knock – Knock, Knock, Knock
Yoongi grumbles, "I'm coming, give me a minute to get to the door, Jimin." He opens the door to find Jimin leaning heavily on the door frame. "You're drunk?"
Jimin slaps his hand on Yoongi's forehead. His speech is slurred, "I don't feel a fever."
"What?"
Jimin's concern is overflowing. "I was told you weren't at Hobi's listening party because you're ill. That's what the staff said.” He burps, “Oops, well, I came to check on you. You missed the party, so you must be really, really sick."
"I had a migraine; there was no way I could handle the loud music tonight. You can go home; it's gone. My meds kicked in, and I took a nap. Sweet of you to stop by – bye, Jimin."
A pouty-faced Jimin bats his eyes at Yoongi. "You're not going to invite me in?"
Yoongi can smell the alcohol on Jimin. "I think it's best if you go home and sleep it off."
Jimin stands up straight with a slight weave. "I'm not drunk," he smirks. "Besides, I already sent the car away. So, if you're not going to invite me in, I'll have to stand on the street corner hailing a cab." He turns dramatically, heading down the walkway.
Yoongi opens the door wider. "Get in. We're letting all the air conditioning out."
Jimin smiles and bounces in.
"Why do you smell like a brewery if you're not drunk?"
Giggling, Jimin points to his shirt. "Jungkook spilled his drink on me." He smacks his pink lips a few times. "I could use some water. I did have a few drinks."
Yoongi shakes his head. They have two different definitions of drunk. "Thought you were cutting back on drinking. Too much self-drinking at home, you said."
Jimin follows him into the kitchen, shuffling. "I have,” he holds up three fingers. “No more than two bottles of SoJu a day."
Yoongi grumbles, unsure if Jimin is being cute or too drunk to know he held up three fingers but said two. He grabs a cold water bottle from the fridge. "You had more than two bottles today?"
"Yes, I have to add a glass of champagne for the toast. It's only polite." Jimin frowns. “Okay, I did try each of the special drinks Hobi made. It would be rude not to try them at least. The pink one was delicious.”
Yoongi shakes his head, “How many ‘special’ drinks did Hobi create?”
“Hmm, three. But the pink one was so good that I got seconds of it.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Maybe you had a third pink one?” He is sure Jimin did since he knows Hobi only created two special drinks. He accompanied Hobi to the tasting and selection. Hobi chose a pink and teal colored drink to match his album colors.
Jimin looks at the floor. “I needed some liquid courage to get through the night. You know big parties are not my thing." Jimin leans in to speak to Yoongi in a hushed voice, "I might have had a bit more courage in the car on the way here."
Yoongi’s brows furrow as he hands Jimin the water. "Why did you need liquid courage to come here? Surely not for me."
Jimin's hands shake as he reaches for Yoongi. He unbuttons Yoongi's top button and kisses his chest. "Yes, for you."
Yoongi freezes for a second, dropping the bottle of water. "Jiminie, we agreed this should not happen." However, Yoongi is not stopping him.
Jimin struggles to unbutton the next button. "That was four years ago, Yoongi, Chapter 1. It is 2022; we are on Chapter 2 now."
Jimin’s eyes widen when he successfully unfastens the second button. He leans in to kiss Yoongi's soft white chest again.
The temptation is great, but they both had agreed. He grabs Jimin's arms, pushing him away. He holds onto Jimin's arms and looks him in the eyes. Something is off; is there sadness? Fear? Maybe a touch of both.
"Jiminie – this is the alcohol talking."
Jimin takes a deep breath, "No, Yoongi, I am not drunk. I know what I am doing, and I know what I want. I want you."
Yoongi stutters, "Us together? No. We agreed it's not in the group's best interest, nor our own. Friendship is as close as we get."
Yoongi wonders why this sudden change. Jimin has been compliant since they decided not to couple up. Even when Jimin was at his worst, they put the group first.
He takes a long breath to regain control. Damn it, what he wants is to let Jimin have free reign over his chest. The memory of Jimin's soft lips pressed against his haunts him.
Rebuttoning his shirt, Yoongi walks past Jimin. ‘Be the strong one, Yoongi!’
Yoongi heads to the front door. He must stop this, now. "I think you need to go, Jimin. I will call you a cab." It might be time to revert to the old rule: they cannot be alone together; the temptations are too strong.
Jimin picks up the dropped bottle of water, looking at it sadly before he opens it. His perfect lips form an O as he pours water into his waiting mouth.
Yoongi can't help but notice Jimin's natural pink lips as the water flows past them. Even after four years, he still hungers for those lips again. He has never let anyone kiss him but Jimin. His will be the only lips that touch Yoongi’s lips.
Jimin closes the bottle and places it back on the counter. He longingly scans Yoongi's home with his eyes. They once talked about sharing this place.
Yoongi sighs; Jimin is especially needy tonight. There is no question he overdid it with the alcohol; he gets needy when he drinks.
Jimin still does not move; he fidgets and looks down at his shoes. His voice quivers, "I understand … I waited too long." He shifts his stance and speaks in a wounded tone. "You found someone else."
Jimin tosses his head back to keep a tear from falling from his eye. "Good for you, Yoongi."
Sniff.
Yoongi has not found another person. There was a period when he looked around at both men and women, in need of physical enjoyment, casual sex. Jimin drank, and he wanted sex.
That had come to a dramatic end. However, it appears Jimin’s drinking has not.
Yoongi has only loved one person - Jimin. He fell for Jimin long ago, initially drawn to him because of his outrageous body. Oh, those abs; he sighs at the thought of them. He would daydream about tracing them with his finger.
His attraction to Jimin solidified his bisexuality. He had relationships with a few girls in high school, but those were more about satisfying his curiosity than anything else.
He believed he was romantically in love with a girl from high school. However, she ended the relationship a few months before graduation. To quote her, "You look more lustfully at the soccer players than at me."
When she ended things, he was heartbroken. Looking back, she had been kind, only wanting him to be happy. She loved him without judgment, explaining that he needed to examine whom he wanted to be with: girls or boys. He has learned to appreciate both.
He remembers her pretty smile when she talked to him. He believed her when she said that if he chose girls to call her, but she thought he would choose boys. He was afraid to pick boys; that was taboo in his house and in Korea.
Yoongi’s shy smile emerges as he recalls his reaction when Jimin first entered his life. From the start, his feelings for Jimin confirmed what his girlfriend suspected: he was in love with a man, not a woman. He wonders what happened to her; he should contact her.
Yoongi shifts his focus back to Jimin, who remains motionless. With his finger, Jimin traces one of the marble veins on the countertop. Yoongi can clearly see Jimin's new friendship tattoo.
Yoongi studies Jimin, trying to understand what prompts him to seek out Yoongi tonight. His eyes explore Jimin’s body. He has always liked Jimin's Chanel shirt; it highlights his slim waist, even though it isn't tight-fitting.
Jimin's pants highlight the roundness of his derriere for anyone who gazes, and Yoongi can't help but look. His jewelry is understated tonight: hoop earrings, his favorite watch, and the pendant necklace that was a gift from Hobi.
However, what truly stands out are Jimin’s eyes, enhanced with soft natural tones --- his favorite look. Yoongi did not act on his feelings for Jimin during their trainee days. He was uncertain about Jimin's sexual orientation, whether he was straight, gay, or bisexual.
Jimin did not appear to favor any specific group, and at one point, Yoongi even questioned whether Jimin was drawn to anything beyond the stage. Ultimately, Yoongi concluded that Jimin was asexual.
Unlike everyone else, Jimin rarely discussed being attracted to anyone. He was all business; there was hardly any conversation that didn't revolve around practice, performance, or building a fan following.
What sets Jimin apart is his gentle nature and respect for fan culture. Bang has often praised Jimin for his ability to meet fans' expectations as an idol. Jimin believes that this is what they deserve from him. He developed a deep connection with ARMY early on; he treasures them, and they cherish him.
He was never insincere with them; he has been open with fans when permitted. He often expresses his gratitude to ARMY and genuinely wishes to give back to them what they gave him: appreciation.
It did not take long for Yoongi to see beyond Jimin’s physical body. He discovered that Jimin is as lovely on the inside as on the outside, perhaps even more beautiful within.
Jimin proved his dedication to ARMY early on. At one of their early fan meetings, he scolded staff for interrupting his conversation with an ARMY member to ask a trivial question. He was livid that the staff member seemed to dismiss the fan’s time with him. They did not comprehend the importance of the fan's few moments with him.
He lost it when the staff member air-quoted "those people" while referring to his precious ARMY after the fan meet. Jimin was red-faced and getting in the staff member’s space.
Namjoon held Jimin back as he growled at the staff member: "Those people stood for hours to have a few seconds with me. Those people fight for me every day. Those people are my champions. Those people deserve my full attention for the few moments they get with me.”
Staff never interrupted him again when he was with ARMY. Yoongi determined that Jimin's only true lover was ARMY.
Jimin relishes flirting with fans, making them swoon. Yoongi felt a small amount of jealousy toward Jimin due to the type of attention ARMY gave him compared to what he received. Moreover, Jimin never looked at Yoongi with the same affection he showed ARMY, at least not back then.
More than once, he would swear that Jimin experienced an orgasm on stage caused by the flood of love ARMY sent him. Jimin's duality in those early days confused all the members. He was naïve off stage, yet a sexual tease on stage.
One aspect of the fandom made Jimin uncomfortable --- shipping. However, he recognized that it was part of the K-pop world aimed at entertaining the fans. He and Jungkook agreed to develop a ship since they were both part of the maknae line.
As their ship gained popularity, and Jimin was expected to enhance his interactions with Jungkook. Jimin could make Jungkook blush instantly, creating the impression that the two were secretly in love, though they were not.
The two were close friends who shared similar interests. Even if they were not pretending to ship, they would still spend time together because of their common interests. They both enjoyed adventurous activities.
Management wanted Jimin and Tae to develop a ship since they had quickly bonded in real life. Their similar ages and shared school experiences would make them an easy pair.
However, both Jimin and Tae stood their ground. It would feel too strange since they were each other’s best friends. The three of them -- Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook -- formed a triangle among themselves. JiKook and TaeKook emerged as rival factions, with Jimin and Tae competing for Jungkook’s affection.
The two ships became popular, and fans spent a lot of time on social media fighting over which was the real ship; neither was. The three of them often laugh at how slow-motion videos can make things appear sexier than reality.
While Jimin's beauty was undisputed, it was his heart that had captured Yoongi's affection. Jimin's spirit was far more beautiful than his face.
That splendid heart caused Yoongi to fall in love with Jimin, Fukuoka in 2015 solidified he was in love with Jimin and not infatuation.
All these years later, it is Jimin's heart that what has kept him head over heels in love.
And those lips, damn it!
When BTS was in Japan promoting their second album, Yoongi developed stomach issues. As Yoongi’s pain grew, so did Jimin's attention towards him. After a time, Jimin never left his side; he even slept on the floor in Yoongi’s room in case he needed something in the middle of the night.
Jimin argued with Yoongi that he must go back to Korea, to the hospital, when he developed a fever. Yoongi swears that Jimin had a built-in thermometer in his hand. Jimin only needed to touch a forehead to know if the person had a fever, even a small one.
Jimin contended that Yoongi would return to Korea in less than three hours by plane since Yoongi did not desire to go to a Japanese hospital. Yoongi finally agreed it would be best to fly back to Korea. Jin arranged to have one of his father's company's planes fly him back.
Yoongi can still hear Jimin arguing with Bang outside his door about him accompanying Yoongi. Jimin’s tone, volume, and passion set him apart. It warmed Yoongi to know that Jimin was fighting to be with him, concerned that he should not be alone.
Jimin was vocal that one of the members should go, specifically him, to hold Yoongi's hand. He should not be alone. He eavesdropped on Bang’s attempt to calm Jimin’s fears, assuring him that Yoongi would never be alone. Of course, a manager would accompany him.
Jimin only backed down when Yoongi stepped into the hallway. “Jimin, you need to stay here. Please take care of ARMY for me. They will be worried about not seeing me during the promotions and interviews. Can you reassure ARMY that I am just a little sick?”
Jimin was not happy about it but consented. “Only if you agree to answer your phone. I will call you every hour until you are at the hospital.” Jimin stood with his arms crossed. “If you do not answer, I will be back on the next plane. Got it!”
He might have been in pain, but all he wanted to do at that moment was hold Jimin and tell him he would fine. He went back to bed, confused. He must be very sick because Jimin’s concern felt deeper than brotherly concern.
Could it be... love that Yoongi heard in Jimin’s voice? The thought struck him like a whisper he wasn’t supposed to hear.
No—no, that couldn’t be right. It had to be brotherly love, the kind they'd always shared. But then... why did his voice linger like that, so gentle, so warm? Why did Jimin's eyes hold his for a moment too long, like they were searching for something, offering something?
Yoongi shook his head, attempting to dispel the absurd notion, yet it clung to him stubbornly. Was it merely brotherly love... or had he been perceiving something different ... or was it the fever?
Jimin kept his promise, calling Yoongi every hour until he was finally admitted to the hospital. First, call was just the two of them, Jimin's voice was steady comfort in Yoongi's ear. He was more anxious in the plane than on the ground.
Something about that call felt different --- undeniably, breathtakingly different.
Jimin's tone had changed from his normal speaking voice with Yoongi. It was softer and slower. Every word and pause had a tenderness that had not been there before. His voice felt intimate, like it came from somewhere deeper than simple friendship or brotherhood.
Yoongi knew Jimin cared, of course he did, but this was tender, and devoted. It sounded like tone his parents talked to each other with when being affectionate. Yoongi had only let himself imagine in the quietest corners of his mind, so speak to him that compassionately. Now, in his fevered state, those fantasies didn't feel so far-fetched.
There had always been brotherly love between them, but this? This felt new. Warmer. Closer. Yoongi could hear it in the way Jimin said his name, in the silences that stretched softly between their words. He was sure of it now: something had shifted.
For the second call, Jimin had gathered all the members together. Their familiar voices tumbled through the phone, full of warmth and well-wishes, promising they'd return soon and Yoongi wasn't alone.
It was comforting, but even then, Yoongi kept listening to Jimin's voice the most. He stared at the screen, watching the way Jimin smiled at the screen, like he was trying to hold Yoongi together with his eyes.
The final call came during an early morning radio interview. "He's okay," Jimin said gently to ARMY, but it felt more like he was reassuring himself. Jimin, ever earnest, held his phone up to the mic so Yoongi could speak directly to ARMY.
Yoongi's voice trembled slightly as he told fans not to worry, that he was being well cared for. His voice might have been steady, but inside, his heart was tumbling through hope and delirium. The touchdown was in 15 minutes.
He stared out the window as the plane touched down. Maybe Jimin truly felt something deeper. The way Jimin gazed at him, his voice encircled his name like a secret meant solely for him.
Then again... maybe it was just the fever playing tricks on him.
But God, it felt real.
And Yoongi wasn’t sure he could ignore it anymore.
The doctors determined that Yoongi's appendix had become inflamed and required removal. He was already back in the dorm when the members returned home from their promotional period in Japan.
Jimin pampered him for days after his return to Korea. He fluttered around the apartment like a guardian angel with soft hands and a determined heart, fussing over Yoongi’s meals, fluffing his pillows, checking his temperature far too often.
Yoongi pretended not to enjoy it, muttering things like “I’m not a child” and “go rest, Jimin”, but the truth was, he savored every second of it. If he had known he’d get this kind of attention from Jimin, he might have faked being sick years ago.
One afternoon, Jimin crawled into Yoongi’s bed with a fantasy game novel tucked under his arm, eager to introduce Yoongi to a new world he loved. His excitement was endearing, and Yoongi found himself watching Jimin more than listening to the story. The words barely had time to settle in the air before Jimin drifted off beside him. BTS’s relentless schedule and constant worry over Yoongi had taken their toll, exhaustion finally doing Jimin in.
Yoongi's heart was pounding as he laid in bed beside the man he had spent too long denning he loved.
He couldn’t look away. His eyes traced the delicate slope of Jimin’s nose, the gentle flutter of his lashes, the soft curve of his parted lips. Yoongi memorized every freckle, every nearly invisible mark.
Most people didn’t know Jimin had freckles; they were like tiny secrets. But Yoongi knew. He breathed in the faint strawberry scent of Jimin’s freshly washed hair, mixed with the lavender of his soap. It was Jimin’s unique smell.
Yoongi had wanted to trail his fingers down the curve of Jimin’s flawless neck, press his lips beneath his ear, and whisper the things he was never brave enough to say aloud. His gaze lingered on the hollow of Jimin’s throat, on how his Adam’s apple bobbed gently with each swallow.
But he didn’t touch him.
And he's often wondered if everything would have been different if he had, would they be together now?
Instead of telling Jimin how he felt, he lay there, barely breathing, imagining what it would feel like to have Jimin curl up in his arms. With his heart pounding and his body betraying him, Yoongi slipped away, leaving Jimin peacefully sleeping in his bed as he took a long, cold shower in the dark.
He moved to the couch for the rest of the night, not trusting himself to lie that close again.
So many memories lingered, haunting Yoongi’s mind. They were tender, electric, and cruel. They clung to him, impossible to shake off, and above all, the taste of Jimin’s lips. That one moment had been everything.
Yoongi had never imagined he would have only tasted Jimin’s lips one time.
He’d replayed it countless times in the dark, desiring to feel Jimin’s lips again. It had felt like the beginning of something, something rare, something sacred. But it had turned out that magical moment, was not a start, but was really ending dressed in disguise.
So many memories. So many what-ifs.
No, Yoongi, that ship has sailed. He blinks to bring himself back to 2022.
Jimin had not lost his allure all these years later. Yoongi's love, his lust, his desire was right in front of him, asking to be with him, and he smelled of lavender.
Damn, it still eludes him why does he find Jimin's Adams apple so sexy.