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"Face, I love you."
"Oh dammit, Murdock, knock it off!"
"I can't help it. I've wanted to say it since the moment I met you. You're an angel and I fell in love with you at first sight."
"Well this is just dandy." Face scowled at the grinning BA and Hannibal in the front seats of the van. "And I don't know what you think is so funny!"
"That will teach you to rip off a witch, Face," Hannibal said, smirking.
"I did not rip her off!" Face protested. "Well, okay, I did. But you're the one who sent me to scam her!"
"Your eyes are like sapphires. Your lips are cherries."
Hannibal shrugged. "We needed the crystal ball as a prop." BA had started to giggle now.
"And we couldn't have just bought one? No we had to scam hers and then we had to get it broken, which made her mad."
"Your hair is woven sunlight. Your skin is as smooth as Carerra marble. Your ass..."
"Shut UP!"
"But, look, Face," Hannibal said. "There's no such thing as magic and spells."
"I know that, tell Murdock that!"
"You can tell me anything, babe, anything."
"Call me babe again, and I will shoot you."
"Cupid already shot me, honeybun."
"I think BA is choking," Face said, trying to stop Hannibal's guffaws.
"So, why..." Hannibal gasped. "Why are we going back there?"
"Look," Face said. "Murdock is kind of... suggestible. If she put a supposed 'spell' on him that makes him fall in love with me, well he's going to act as if the spell worked, because he's just... Well he's just that crazy isn't he? This is the man who wrote a letter to Cutter apologising for leaving him at the altar."
"He meant nothing to me, Face. It's always been you," Murdock reassured Face.
Face put his head in his hands then looked up again. "So I figure we go to the witch and she 'reverses the spell' and he should go back to normal."
"She's probably still upset with us," Hannibal said. "What if she won't cooperate?"
"Well, that's when I cross her palm with silver." He pulled a wad of bills from his pocket. "Or, well, green."
"Mmm," Murdock said, looking at the money. "Forget the witch. You and I could have a weekend in Aruba with that. Let's go right now. No need to pack." He gave a saucy smile. "You won't need any clothes."
"BA," Face pleaded, "for God's sake, step on it!"
They reached the home of the witch about fifteen minutes later. A small, pleasant house, with a very interesting herb garden. The witch was a middle-aged woman, who made her living telling fortunes, making love potions, and writing horoscopes. When Hannibal had needed a crystal ball, he'd recalled the client's wife mentioning her and sent Face along to her house. She'd caught up with them later, while they were celebrating defeating their client's rather too rough business rival. She'd tossed a handful of herbs over Murdock while reciting some strange words. Then she'd smugly announced that Murdock would fall in love with the next person who walked into the room.
"Hey, who wants beer?"
With those words as he walked in from the kitchen, Face had sealed his fate, as Murdock rushed into his arms.
"Geez, you're that thirsty?"
"Only for your love."
Face almost ran up the path to the house and banged on the door. Murdock, with BA hanging onto his arm, to keep him from jumping Face, followed, singing 'I put a spell on you.' Hannibal brought up the rear, chuckling. The witch opened the door and scowled.
"Oh, it's you." Then she grinned. "Set a date for the wedding yet?"
"Please, ma'am--"
"Miss!"
"Miss. Right. Please, you have to fix this. We... I... Well we have to get Murdock back home soon, and this is really going to freak out his psychiatrist."
"His... Oh." She looked rather abashed then. "I didn't realise he had those kinds of problems. You'd better bring him in."
They all went through to her kitchen where various mysterious pans brewed on the stove and a set-up like a mad professor's chemistry set dominated a whole side of the room.
"You lot, sit down. I just have to put some ingredients together. Help yourself to tea."
"You sit by me, Face." Murdock patted the chair beside him at the kitchen table. Face declined the offer and sat on the other side of the table. An enormous brown teapot sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by thick china cups. Tools of the trade. None of the team had any tea.
"Now then." She muttered to herself as she gathered small jars and bottles from drawers and cupboards. "I need some... a pinch of... oh and a little..."
"Murdock! Stop trying to play footsie with me! I mean it. I'm getting really pissed now, I swear."
"You know, you're very sexy when you're mad, Face."
"How much longer?" Face demanded of the witch.
"Just a..." She stopped suddenly, squinting at a jar she held. "Wait a moment." She unscrewed the lid of the jar and sniffed the contents. "Oh dear."
"Oh dear, what? Can't you do the reversal thing? Look, lady." Face spoke in a low voice. "Doesn't matter, just bluff it."
She glared at him. "Bluff? Are suggesting this is all a game, young man? A scam?"
"Well..."
"No, Miss." Hannibal came to the rescue. "He's just a little frazzled. Now, are you having a problem?"
"Yes." She held up the jar. "This has been mislabelled."
"So, you're saying you don't have the ingredients for the reversal spell?"
"No, I'm saying that I used this in the original spell, which means the spell wasn't what I intended."
Face looked confused. "But you said it was a love spell, and the way Murdock is acting..."
"I know! Obviously I assumed the spell was right." She wore a puzzled frown, then laughed suddenly. "Well, imagine that!"
"Imagine what?" Hannibal asked. "What was the spell really then?"
"A truth spell."
For a moment, the only sound in the room came from the bubbling pots on the stove.
"A truth spell." BA broke the silence in the end, echoing her words, not laughing any more.
"A truth spell," she said again. "It made him tell the truth. Specifically any truth that he might have been hiding for a long time."
That silence descended again.
"Well, this is awkward," Murdock said after a while, the truth spell still in apparent effect.
"You have to do something!" Face cried, jumping up. "Reverse it!"
"Have you ever tried to push toothpaste back into the tube, Mr Peck?"
Face fell silent. She went on. "I can make him, ah, stop blurting out the truth like this. But now it's out." She put a hand on Face's arm, smiled at him, kindly. "I think that's going to take a whole different type of magic to deal with."