Chapter Text
My name is Kusuo Saiki, and I’m a psychic. I like to think I lead a pretty normal life, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. You see, without meaning to, I have acquired quite a few friends during my time at PK Academy, and they’re all anything but normal. But I’ll spare you the details.
Ever since I got my powers back, Year 3 has been pretty relaxed, which is a relief. That is, until two couples suddenly broke up.
It all started when Toritsuka rushed over to me during the break, and any time Toritsuka shows up I know he’s about to say something that will ruin my day. “Did you hear? Satou broke up with his girlfriend!”
Well, for once I don’t know how to feel.
Normally, I would be the first one to find out about something like this, but this is Satou we’re talking about. The guy blends in so well that any time something major happens to him, it doesn’t usually leave his friend group.
“Isn’t it great?” Toritsuka continues. “I have a chance with her now. You have to help me!”
Of course, that’s the only thing he cares about. Toritsuka has had a crush on Suzumiya ever since she transferred to PK Academy, and now that she’s single, Toritsuka naturally wants to shoot his shot.
I’m not helping you. If you want to win her over, do it yourself.
Toritsuka groans. “Fine…” I guess I’ll just have to summon another spirit.
And no summoning spirits, either. Don’t cheat.
“Aw, come on, Saiki, you know I’m a terrible flirt!”
Practice, then.
I fight the urge to look up as Satou and his friends enter.
“Sorry about your girlfriend, man,” one of them says. “Don’t worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea,” says another.
“It’s okay, guys,” Satou says sadly. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
No one else pays any mind to their conversation. After all, Satou is practically invisible to the rest of the class.
The bell rings, and everyone takes their seats as the teacher enters to begin the class. As usual, I’m forced to stare at the back of Nendou’s head while the teacher talks, though it doesn’t really bother me. I’ve had bigger problems to deal with.
Suddenly, Suzumiya bursts through the door, covered in twigs and mud, her uniform soaked through. It’s rather reminiscent of when she first transferred here. I heard her coming, of course, though I have to admit that her appearance surprises even me a little.
Don’t get me wrong, Suzumiya is always getting into accidents on her way to school, so her turning up like this is nothing unusual. But this time she seems genuinely upset about it, which is a huge contrast to her usual mood.
I wish I hadn’t broken up with Satou, she thinks. I miss walking to school with him.
Ah, so that’s why. I look across to Satou, who is sitting to the right of Nendou. Poor guy.
I know we were never really compatible, but I’m still sad about the break-up. I hope she didn’t get hurt too badly on her way here.
Huh, so they broke up because they weren’t compatible. This is the fourth most common reason that people break up, so I have to hand it to Satou. He sure knows how to lead an average life.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Miss!” Suzumiya frantically apologises.
“Suzumiya, what happened to you?!” the teacher exclaims, looking at the unfortunate girl.
“I got caught in a rainstorm and slipped in a muddy puddle, and then a tree fell on me,” Suzumiya replies forlornly.
“Oh my goodness! Maybe it would be better if you went to the nurse’s office,” the teacher suggests with genuine concern.
“No, no, I’m fine,” she insists with a sigh.
“Well, if you say so…” the teacher replies, looking baffled. “Continuing on with what I was saying…”
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The second break-up occurs after school as Nendou, Kaidou, Kuboyasu and I begin walking home. Except it’s not just us, because Yumehara is attached to her boyfriend’s arm. Kaidou and Yumehara have been dating for a few months now, but it’s easy to tell that Yumehara is starting to get sick of him. Honestly, I don’t blame her. All he ever talks about is Dark Reunion and how they plan to kill The Jet-Black Wings (which is how he refers to himself). It seems that even in Year 3, Kaidou still has the mind of a middle-schooler.
Because of Kaidou’s lack of attention to his girlfriend, Yumehara has become even clingier as of late, which Kaidou is completely oblivious to.
“Let’s go get some ramen,” Nendou suggests, as per usual.
“I have time,” says Kuboyasu.
“Sounds good,” Kaidou replies.
“But babe, you said we could go on a date after school today, remember?” Yumehara reminds him.
“Oh, right… well, do you think we could move it to tomorrow? We don’t have much time these days and it would be nice to get ramen again like the old times, you know?”
You mean last year?
“But…” Yumehara trails off. I can’t believe him! He promised we would go on a date today, and now he’s going back on his promise? That’s it!
Oh, boy.
“You know what? I’ve had it with you!” Yumehara says angrily, pulling her arm away from Kaidou’s.
“Huh…?”
“You’re always prioritising your friends over me. You promised we would go on a date today, and now you want to eat ramen with them instead?” she yells angrily. Thankfully no one else is around, because she would be drawing quite a lot of attention otherwise.
“Hey, you know what they say. Bros before hoes,” Kaidou says in a defensive manner.
That may be partially true, Kaidou, but it’s not something you should say in front of your girlfriend. Good grief.
“What, so I’m a hoe now? Are you kidding me?” I can’t believe him! “You’re even more childish than I thought. Always going on about Dark Onion and the Jet-Black Things, are you a middle schooler or what? Isn’t it about time you outgrew your stupid hero complex?”
Ouch, low blow. She’s right, though. As much as I don’t hate Kaidou, he’s still way too childish for his age. It can get tiring sometimes.
“What…” Kaidou looks taken aback, as though someone has just told him he has stage 4 cancer. It almost makes me feel bad for him.
Yumehara looks upset too. Oh no, I think I went too far… well, there’s no going back now. I should remove myself from the situation.
“We’re done,” she says flatly, before running off in the other direction.
Kaidou is still standing and staring blankly at nothing as he tries to process this. Did she just…break up with me? And make fun of the Jet-Black Wings? How could she…
“Hey man, I’m sorry.” Kuboyasu pats his shoulder sympathetically. “Break-ups are the worst.” Too soon? he thinks. I mean, she didn’t outright say that she wanted to break up, but I think “we’re done” made it pretty clear. Poor guy, he looks crushed.
“Yeah, girlfriends are the worst,” Nendou adds unhelpfully.
You’ve never had a girlfriend.
“I… I’ll be fine,” Kaidou says eventually, but it’s hard to believe that when there are tears running down his cheeks.
Kuboyasu pulls him into a hug (a bit uncharacteristic for him, but sweet nonetheless) while Nendou and I watch on. It’s incredibly awkward, to say the least, but I don’t think it would be socially acceptable to just walk away, so I’m forced to wait until Kaidou gets a hold of himself.
Once he’s finally pulled himself together, he puts on a brave face, though anyone can tell he’s still on the verge of tears. We continue our walk home, and eventually I manage to break away from the group and head towards my own house.
Now, you may be wondering, why didn’t I prevent the breakup? I could’ve easily changed their likeability score by using mind control and telepathy. But you see, Kaidou had it coming. Yumehara was right that Kaidou hasn’t been the best boyfriend to her, and you can’t fix a relationship that was doomed from the start. Besides, it means I have one less person whose thoughts I’m forced to listen to on our walks home. That’s why I decided to simply let it run its course.