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There wasn’t much to do when you’ve seen humanity perish, over, and over, and over again. As she pictures the love of her life, at least, the one she thought was the love of her life, she couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve happened if none of this ever happened. If Homura was never saved from the witches by the pink haired angel; if so, maybe she could've gone through her life never having made the contract that took away her future from her, bounding her to this world of sorrow and lies.
Maybe…
The lights flicker above her, peeping through her lashes as she felt her breathing ceased to heave. An annoying ring in her ears echoes, passing around the room like the world was cheering for her consciousness. Though, she could beg to differ.
She tilted her head to the side, catching glimpses at who seemed like a doctor with his blindingly white cloak. Her eyes fight the light, and finally being able to properly open to see where she was.
“She’s awake…. she’s awake!” a female voice called from the distance. However, the girl didn’t pay much attention to it, as she looked at her surroundings- all be it the most she could see was the ceiling at her lying point- and noticing how simaler it was to her own room. By the smell alone though, she could tell it was a clinic of some kind.
“Ah, little girl,” the doctor spoke in a hushed voice, as if he were talking to a stray cat. “Can you hear me?”
She nodded slowly.
“Good, do you know where you are?”
She nods, not feeling the need to speak words.
“Very well. Do you know who you are?”
She nods once more. “H-homura Akemi…” she uttered.
He nods, noting something down on his clipboard. She stayed silent, preparing for whatever he’ll ask next, noticing how the cold sensation of water was still present upon her skin, despite the warm blanket she was tucked into. Perhaps it was the air conditioner.
“Are you okay?” He continued. “Do you remember what happened?”
She closes her eyes. Her face felt bare without her glasses, but suppose that’s not a concern as of now. “I fell down the river.” She replied.
I tried killing myself.
She couldn’t see him, nor could she hear another word from him. He put his hand on her wrist, checking her pulse, which she allowed, then he left, and she could only assume that he’d leave her to sleep, because following a few seconds of silence were footsteps leaving the bed side.
“Is she okay?” the voice from earlier asked.
“She seems to have physically stabilized, though it may be a bit too early to visit. Maybe you should wait until she’s comfortable to talk to.” he spoke in a much more firm tone than he did with her. As expected.
The rest of their conversation was blocked out by her own thoughts. Akemi thought she was really gone, given how deep into the river she was, and how peaceful she felt under the water. For the first time, she couldn’t feel the pain in her heart, and hearing it beat inside her chest made her stomach churn.
I can’t even end myself. I can’t do anything… I’m good for nothing…
And she fell back into a silent slumber, as if the water was still drowning in her ears.
After a while, Akemi woke up to a basket of flowers on the small table by her bed, sitting next to a tray of sandwiches. She got up to get some water, wincing at the pain in her chest. It felt as if time hadn’t passed since that afternoon, even though it was nearing noon of the next day. How typical of her to skip her second day of school, she thought, taking bites out of her sandwich on her bed.
She glanced at the flowers, seeing the name card attached to one of the stems. It was of her classmate, Kaname Madoka. Of course, she was the only one that she had really interacted with. All though, what are the chances that Kaname was the one that saved her? Perhaps she was walking by the river, or was on her way home, when she found her drowning.
It was strange to think that a girl, even more petite than her, was able to pull her out of the river. She must’ve been so troubled, saving someone she’d barely known. The thought sank her heart. I could only thank the lords that I didn’t bring her down with me.
A quick glance at the door, and she found herself meeting the eyes of another, the pretty baby pink peaks hiding behind the crack. Their eyes seem to widen at the encounter, and Akemi pretended not to see her, turning away and taking another bite at her sandwich.
Is she scared of me?
Her fear somewhat went away, and the girl with pink hair entered the room. Akemi glanced back at her, and she was wearing her school uniform. It made her worry about the possibility that she ditched class just to visit her.
“Akemi… you doing good?” She asked in a clear nervous tone.
She turned back to the girl, finding it difficult to look her in the eyes. “Yeah. I’m good… thank you so much for the flowers!” Akemi exclaimed, putting her sandwich down on the table and bowing her head, clasping her hands before her. “I’m really grateful that you’re here to visit me!”
She heard a soft chuckle from the other girl. “No problem… I found some free time during lunch and, truth is, I was worried, considering you’re all alone in this little clinic.” Kaname said.
“May I ask, were you the one that… saved me yesterday?”
Though she was frightened to hear her answer, she had to know. She just, had to. If Kaname Madoka really was the one that saved her, she’ll have an eternity to apologies to her, forever in dept for bothering the girl over someone of so little importance. But then again, if she wasn’t the one that saved her, she’ll never sleep well ever again…
“Yeah… you were drowning in the river, and I just happened to be in that part of the neighborhood.” She replied. Guilt overtook the raven haired girl, and her eyes widened like saucers.
“I- I’m so sorry to have troubled you!!” the words practically echoed through the cramped clinic, her soft voice dipped in regret, and her hands clasped once more before her. “I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been to have saved me. You could’ve- you should’ve just let me d-”
“No, no, don’t!” Kaname called out, leaning forward and clasping her hands above Akemis, catching her eyes. “Don’t ever be sorry for that.” she consulted. “Don’t let yourself be put down like that again. I wanted to save you, and you being here, awake and well makes me really happy!”
The girl looked at the student, who seemed to have the presence of an angel. Or rather, she was an angel. And for once, her heart didn’t race because of her illness. Her chest felt warm as she acknowledged the worry in her eyes as they gazed into hers.
“I…” she uttered, before finding the strength to continue. “Thank you… Kaname. I’m eternally grateful for this. For you.”
Kaname smiled, letting go of her hands and returning back to her stance. Akemi felt somewhat bare without her touch, but she said nothing of it.
“Actually, I wasn’t the only one who saved you…” Kaname admitted, which sparked confusion within the girl.
“R-really?”
“I was with a friend of mine… she’ll visit you after school ends, I’m sure.” She said.
“I see… I’d be glad to see her!”
After lunch was over, Kaname Madoka returned to her school, and in the afternoon, truth to her words, she, along with another girl named Tomoe Mami visited Akemi.
They had a chat, and introduced to Akemi the other world that goes on. One that involves witches and magical girls. She agreed to tag along with the girls on their adventures, preparing each other to fight against the Walpurgisnacht, meeting the likes of Miki Sayaka and Sakura Kyoko along the way.
Tragity overcame what she thought was their joyful adventures. From finding out the true nature of their soul gems, incubators intentions, the sorrowful downfall of Miki Sayaka and Sakura Kyoko, and in the end, Tomoe Mami and her greatest friend, Kaname Madoka’s demise.
It was only then that Akemi made her contract, and since then, she fell into an endless loop of time, trying to stop Madoka from signing her contract. All while losing her humanity and empathy….
“It’s not so different after all…”
Akemi woke up in a cold sweat, opening her eyes to see the ceiling of her home. Or, what is physically her home.
“So it was a dream?” she said softly to the dark. “Or… was it another universe?”
A sigh left her lips, and she glanced out the starry sky, right outside the window. A glass sky for a fragile world.
“The other Akemi must’ve gone through just as much as I have.” she chuckled dryly. “I suppose we’ve created our own worlds for the sake of the same person…”
She curled into the blankets, everything feeling cold, as if she were engulfed in the sea of her own sorrow. It was the drowning feeling she had felt within the dream.
“A sweet, dream-like thought…”