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Amuro has seen men die, but he's never seen a man as scared as Hayato looks when he runs into the hanger of the Audhumla. His shouts are audible over the roar of Amuro's drill even if the words are indiscernible. There's a letter and a picture in his hand. Hayato is waving both of them as he talks, and Amuro glimpses Fraw in the picture. The drill becomes silent as Amuro removes his finger from the trigger.
Hayato's covered in sweat. His hands are shaking, and his face is sickly white.
"You should sit down." Amuro holds his hand out to Hayato. It's ignored.
"They have my family," Hayato blurts out.
The Titans have Fraw, Kikka, and Letz.. They're civilians. Fraw's heavily pregnant. Amuro has killed before, but this is the first time he's wanted to kill someone.
He hands the picture to Amuro. Only Fraw's in it. She's on the floor with her hands bound behind her back with a zip tie. Amuro's still surprised to see Fraw as an adult woman and not the teenage girl who would bring him food when his father left him alone.
"We'll rescue them," Amuro promises quickly. "What are the demands?"
"The dissolution of Karaba."
The Titans have won Earth.
Hayato gives Amuro the paper. Amuro quickly scans it. There's no mention of the hostages being released, just promises of pain if their demands aren't met. Amuro bites his thumb and tastes metal.
"Then we surrender," Amuro says simply.
He will throw away his life for theirs in a heartbeat.
Hayato shakes his head. He's on the verge of tears.
"We can't trade the Earth for her. We talked about this before I formed Karaba."
"This is your wife and kids!" Amuro yells.
He hates the sound of his own voice. He sounds like his father, but at least he resembles a father right now. Amuro can't believe what Hayato just said.
"She wouldn't want us to give up," Hayato says. "We knew the risks."
"Was that before or after you found out she's fucking pregnant?"
Amuro knows the answer. They've talked about it before. The baby's an accident.
"If they kill them, they'll lose their leverage," Hayato says instead of giving Amuro a straight answer.
"So you'll let them torture her?!"
"They served on the White Base too. They're strong. Finding them will be our top priority."
It's not the answer Amuro wants, but it's one that he can tolerate. He picks the drill back up. Its weight in his hands is comfortable and familiar.
"Then let's get to work."
While they still have all their fingers and toes. They have to find her before the baby is born.
They get pictures of Fraw the next week and the week after that, and then they stop. The letters keep coming though, and they say they still have all three members of the family.
The lack of photos disagrees.
They're being kept in Augusta. Amuro's leads the raid. Before he can even land his Dijeh, a psychic attack knocks the breath out of him and makes him bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood to ground himself.
Kikka and Letz are here. They do not recognize Amuro. They are seasoned soldiers despite being children. They don't listen to reason. They keep coming after him.
Amuro disables the mobile suits without killing them and breaks into the cockpits. They barely have any life in their bodies, and there are scars on their foreheads. They don't have the strength to leave the cockpits, so Amuro makes his way further into the base with the intent of bringing them back to Audhumla afterwards.
He finds a room that matches the one Fraw was in the in the photographs, but its empty.
Eventually they found papers that confirm that Kikka and Letz have been turned into Cyber Newtypes and that Fraw is dead. She went into early labor. Her cries of pain were ignored. Both Fraw and her child, which the papers note was a boy, die. The papers claim its unfortunate because with medical intervention they would have survived, and the baby would have been a useful test subject.
Amuro tells Hayato himself. He doesn't leave the bedside of his children and holds both their hands as the ship's doctor tries to figure out why they're so weak.
Kikka and Letz are failed Cyber Newtypes. They didn't take to the surgery well.
Hayato is with them when they pass.
Amuro cannot be strong for him. He buries himself in Beltorchika for a bit, but when she realizes he's fucking her to avoid thinking about another woman, she closes her legs to him and leaves the ship.
Hayato decides he'll participate in the Attack on Kilimanjaro despite Amuro begging him not to.
He throws himself into battle. He dies.
"Amuro."
He looks up when his name is called. Char's standing in front of him with a glass of whiskey in his hand. Amuro is waiting until the end of the party to drink. Then he's going to drink until he passes out.
Char looks good in the blue dress shirt. His presence is comforting to Amuro. It's the same feeling he gets when he holds Haro. Char's a constant. They've scarred each other's bodies. As long as Amuro is alive, Char will be alive too.
He's looking at Amuro with pity. He deserves a punch in the gut for it.
"Yeah?"
"We should talk."
He doesn't want to talk. He's stopped talking to people since Hayato died.
"Do we have to?" Amuro asks like a whiny teenager.
"I'd like to."
"Fine."
"Let's go somewhere quiet."
They leave the conference room and go to the hallway outside. Char's still looking at Amuro like he's a puppy trapped outside in the pouring rain.
"I heard about what happened to Hayato and his family."
Amuro knows he should grab onto Char's, hold him, and get his sleeve wet with his tears. It's what Lalah would want him to do. He isn't strong enough to cry in front of his rival though.
"I'm sorry," Char says.
"Thank you." Amuro gives Chat the polite answer that's expected.
Char doesn't leave his side and doesn't say anything else for several seconds. Amuro waits. He's mourning. He doesn't care enough to help Char out.
"The best way to honor her memory is to fight for her," Char says eventually.
Amuro narrows his eyes. Char's insulted his love for Fraw.
"Have you ever loved someone, Char?"
"Yes," Char answers without any hesitation and without breaking eye contact with Amuro. It's like he's trying to talk discreetly to Amuro's soul. They've communicated that way before.
"Not been in love with someone, but loved someone."
"Is there a difference?"
Amuro scoffs.
"Being in love is a feeling. Loving someone is an act. I loved Fraw and her family."
Char is nude without the sunglasses. Amuro can easily read the confusion and yearning in his expression.
"Then I guess I haven't," Char concludes.
"I was going to have a nephew."
Char opens his mouth and closes it. Then, he tries again, and the words come out quietly and weakly. Amuro almost doesn't hear them.
"Don't leave me."
It's shit advice, but it's raw, and Amuro knows it's the best Char can do. Excluding the Noas, who Amuro can't get close to in case they suffer the same fate as Fraw, Char is all he has left.
He reaches out and places his hand on the back of Char's neck, who shudders involuntary. Goose bumps appear on Char's arms. Amuro aches for human touch again, and Char has never been touched like this. To see how Char will respond, he squeezes his neck just a bit. He turns red. It's cute.
"I'm the leader of Karaba now. I can't follow you back to space." Amuro drops his hand. "When the AEUG and Karaba are no longer needed, let's meet up again."
He's not alone.
"It's what they would want."
Because he knows Char, he knows the they includes Lalah.
"You're right."
They defeat the Titans, but the AEUG doesn't win the war. They lose the Radish. Haman lives. Katz dies. In a miracle, Kamille and Fa survive unharmed.
The Titans are gone, but the people who killed Fraw and her family are not punished.
The Federation gives Haman Side 3. Char, the name Quattro now tossed aside, cannot stop them, even with all the authority and power leading the AEUG gives him. In this way, he abandons Amuro. He's alone again.
Haman drops a colony on Dublin. Amuro and a group of kids working under Bright try to save everyone in the city. They can't. Amuro curls up in the cockpit of the Dijeh and sobs as he feels the countless civilians die.
Haman's killed. The AEUG and Karaba are incorporated back into the Federation and Char's joins the Federation as the Vice-Foreign Minister.
Nothing changes. Char can't advance any policy. The people who killed Fraw and her family are not punished. The people who gave Side 3 to Haman are reelected.
Amuro gives up. Humans are warlike. Democracy will not work. Violence is the only thing mankind understands. Amuro Ray, the White Devil, was birthed and formed during war. He is a warrior, and there is only one way for him to shape the future.
So Amuro will end it all with one fatal blow. He will destroy the Federation, and he will leave behind a clean slate for the next generation to build on.
He'll take Char with him too.
Neo Zeon is easy to rally. Amuro's not a politician, but he's honest when he speaks, and his heart reaches those with similar desires.
He becomes the Supreme Commander of Neo Zeon. He switches out his leather jacket for a white suit. He slicks back his hair. They will follow in their namesake and repeat the mistakes of One Week Battle. The cost is great in the present, but in the future it will be considered the noble sacrifice of the most important revolution in human history
Neo Zeon will be a democracy. Amuro will only lead the military.
Anaheim creates his Nu Gundam. He wants a fair fight, so he has the engineers leak the secret of the Psycho-Frame to the the branch that Char's new unit, Londo Bell, is working with.
"Do you love me?"
The woman who asks is named Nanai Miguel. She's the leader of Neo Zeon's Newtype labs. She's also the second most powerful person in Neo Zeon. Amuro values her opinions more than anyone else's.
Their laying in bed. She's playing with his chest hair. Neither of them have gotten redressed yet.
"Of course I do."
It's not a lie. Amuro's such a bad liar that he never even tries.
She sits up. Her breasts are beautiful. She's upset at him, so Amuro doesn't bury his face between him.
"What do you love about me?" she asks.
"I love all sorts of things about you."
"Like what?"
Surrendering himself to the emotions of others is easy.
"You're easy to be with," he offers.
It's the wrong answer.
"You're a child," she hisses.
"Is it wrong to want to be loved? I've given you everything you wanted."
"No, you haven't."
She leaves his bed. She will not return. Instead, Amuro will find a new blonde lady to warm his bed every few days.
They drop Fifth Luna. Char is at Londenion with the rest of the Federation, so there's no use in Amuro fighting. They'll have their battle when he drops Axis. He won't be needed in a meeting room, so he'll be in a mobile suit.
Amuro sends Gyunei, who is killed by Kamille but manages to drop the asteroid. Amuro's name joins Gihren's and Haman's in the record of mass murders. Their names are still below the Federation's.
Amuro's head starts hurting the moment the doors open to the conference room. It's because of Char. Everything is always because of Char. His presence is spilling into Amuro, and Char's knows the passageways too well for Amuro to keep him out.
Char sits across from him and two seats to the left. It's been years since Amuro saw him last. His hair is still long. He's wearing a yellow suit instead of the typical Federation uniform. He doesn't look away from Amuro the entire meeting, and he hangs on every word that Amuro says like they're for him and him alone.
He expected Char to be here. He did not expect that agonizing pressure from him. He drowns out everything else. It's like when they were at A Baoa Qu.
"When the fleet crews no longer have jobs, we're not in a position to give severance pay." Horst words manage to cut through the haze Char is causing. If Char is as effected by Amuro as he is, he's hiding it well.
"Seriously?" Amuro says before he can stop himself.
It infuriates him. Sweetwater's colony is constantly needing repairs, and they can only half-fix them. The colony has maybe another decade before its uninhabitable. They are a refuge colony, so there aren't any large businesses to bring jobs and tax money. The Federation won't give them funding. They Federation won't even give them vaccines for their children. The Federation won't pay for any shuttles to move people to other colonies. The Federation will let them die.
War is the only thing that Amuro can give his people.
His genuine surprise and irritation is too raw to be expected from someone as powerful as Amuro. The room grows silence. Char, as charismatic as ever, breaks the silence.
"We'll find them work within the Federation Forces," he promises.
Hearing Char speak directly to him is a stab in the gut. Amuro's sweating.
"I have an additional request," Char continues. "I am speaking only for myself and not the rest of the Federation. I would like to have an hour alone with Supreme Commander Amuro after this meeting."
Amuro will break if he has to undergo another hour of this.
He can't answer. He's afraid if he tries to answer Char, the walls will come down, and it'll be like when he was with Lalah all over again. It will hurt. He's tired of hurting. He still feels all the hurt from Dublin and from Hayato losing his family every night when he closes his eyes.
"That's an.. unorthodox request," Horst declines polity.
Char nods.
"I understand. I'm unarmed. You can search me if you like. Amuro can keep his guns."
"This is not the place or the time to settle personal matters," someone in the Federation says.
"I know the location of Princess Mineva Zabi."
With that, Char has what he wants. Amuro wants a democracy, but Neo Zeon craves a monarchy. Horst turns to look at Amuro.
"Are you alright with this?"
He just wants to fight Char again and punish him for not stopping any of this.
"Sure," he answers nonchalantly.
No other answer will be accepted.
"Thank you. I want privacy. If anyone is listening in, I'll know." When Char says this, he's looking at the Federation, not Neo Zeon.
After discussing when and where they will both hand off Axis and disarm Neo Zeon's fleet, everyone but Char and Amuro leave the room. Char comes to him and squats so he's eye level with Amuro, who's still sitting. His presences is unbearable.
In someway, Char loves him, but Amuro hates him.
Maybe it's two different names for the same attachment. This pain can only be caused by someone he loved.
"You need to stop this, Amuro."
"What else am I to fucking do?" Amuro spits.
Amuro's hand in gripping the arm of the chair. Char places his hand on top of his. It's too much. Amuro doesn't pull his hand away.
"Revenge won't fix anything," Char says calmly.
Char is warm. Char is kind. Char is pure.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
Amuro turns his hand hand so they're palms are touching. It's not enough.
"If anyone does, it's me."
He's right. Char understands.
The world melts away. Nothing exists but Char and himself. It's just like when he connected with Lalah all those years, and just like then, it will mean nothing.
At the same time, they're both watching Kikka, Letz, and Zeon Deikun die. Somewhere else, they're kissing, trying to replicate physically the closeness they're feeling emotionally.
Mankind can't continue on like this. Someone has to suffer for the death of Fraw and her family, Amuro thinks.
That's why I killed Garma. Because of that, Icelina died too. I wasted my life.
It'll be different this time. Wars have shaped mankind. You taught me this. This will be the last war, and then we'll all become Newtypes. There will be no alternative.
You can't guarantee that. The kind of loss you're talking about is why I was never able to become a true Newtype.
This the the closest they've come to becoming true Newtypes. Their hearts are crying out for each other. They need to envelope each other. Somewhere on another plane of existence, Amuro is vaguely frustrated that this is happening here and not in his room with a bed and other necessities.
It caused Lalah and me to become Newtypes, Amuro argues.
You will be killing billions of Fraws and Lalahs.
Oh, Char, the pain is unbearable. I want it all to stop. There's no other ways! Billions will die anyway!
I know your pain. You can stop. It's okay. You don't have to avenge them.
His body is lighting up in pleasure. It overrides the pain.
Stop? But if I stop...
With Char's mind mingling with his like this, he can see different paths the present can take. Now that Neo Zeon has been filled with bloodlust, not even Amuro can stop the plan to drop Axis.
It's too late! Just like with Lalah. they both realize.
Axis will be dropped.
Is this the curse of Newtypes? Will we always be too late? Char, this is why we have to-
The intoxicating sound of panting is powerful enough to break through into their shared mind space. They can't, and shouldn't, stay connected like this forever. Not even the two of them are ready for it.
No. The blessing of Newtypes is that we can continue to fight and see the path forward. We can show everyone the path forward.
The miracle of them falling in love with Lalah. The miracle of Char being able to see past his pain and realize that they aren't enemies. The miracle of Kamille's kindness.
Char's right. For the first time since the colony was dropped on Dublin, Amuro is at peace.
A threshold is crossed, and as they reach their climax, the intense pleasure brings them back to reality. Char is sitting on Amuro's lap. Both of their pants have been pulled down. Amuro is gripping their cocks with his right hand, and they're covered in each other's semen. He can feel Char's dick against his own. Their foreheads are touching, and their scars ache, like they've awoken an old wound, but there's no pain.
"Fuck," Amuro swears.
"Amuro. Amuro."
Char saying his name is the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. Char's eyes are clouded over with pleasure. He's panting, and his face is red. He rocks against Amuro, riding out his orgasm.
"You'll try to blow up Axis. It won't work." They both saw that when they saw the future.
Amuro's mind is racing. He needs to see a way out before the foresight fades completely.
"Yes," Char agrees.
"The Nu has Psycho-Frames in its escape pod." Nanai had demanded the escape pod. It was ridiculous at the time, but now he's thankful for it. "You can use my life force to push back Axis."
Char shakes his head. His breathing is slowly returning to normal.
"You're not dying."
"Our sacrifice will show humanity the way forward. Anything else will won't satisfy Neo Zeon."
Char leans against him, chest to chest. Their clothes are in the way, but now's not the time to remove them.
It's only now that Amuro realizes that Char loves him, and he loves Char. They're stupid. They could have been lovers for over a decade. They're still too human. Amuro can no longer see the future.
"It's the only way. A few people will die instead of billions." Amuro places a hand on Char's back.
"Alright," Char eventually says.
Amuro's biggest regret will be that he will never know which of them is the better pilot. The game is now rigged. Char has to incapacitate him.
Amuro hasn't felt this warm since the One Year War ended, only this time there is no home waiting for him. Yet, it's enough to make Amuro feel like himself again.
Things went exactly as he foresaw. Londo Bell tried to blow Axis only for it to split in two. He lets Char's Sazabi destroy his Nu and capture his cockpit, which is jammed into the rear piece of Axis. Other mobile suits, both Federation and Neo Zeon, are joining Char in trying to push back Axis.
"Send them away!" Amuro barks.
None of the screens in the cockpit show Amuro Char, but he can still see and hear him. Right now, Char is being thrown around in his own cockpit like a marble in a shaken can.
"They won't listen to me! See, Amuro? This is the light of the human spirit! It's unbeatable!"
Char's thinking of Kamille. The night before Amuro reappeared, they had dinner together at a nice restaurant, and Kamille fills Char with a lover he hadn't known was possible. Char wants nothing more than to see Kamille one more time and know he's safe. He fights for Kamille.
He's also thinking of the encounter they shared at Londenion. He's only kissed Amuro once. It's not enough.
"I know! I forgot, but I remember now!" Amuro yells.
Kikka, Letz, and Katz are in the cockpit with him. Amuro and Char won't exist in this world much longer.
"I'm sorry. I shamed you." Amuro can't stop himself from crying.
Katz speaks for the group. They're helping them push back Axis.
"We have to leave an Earth for Kamille."
Kikka gives him a kiss on the cheek.
"You've done enough, Uncle Amuro. You can relax." she says.
He'll be with them soon.
"No. You're not dying."
Then Char is in the cockpit with Amuro. He places his hand on top of Amuro's. His scar on his forehead is shining.
"You're not leaving me, Amuro. You owe me a lifetime of happiness."
Amuro laughs. They're dying. If they lose the gamble, all of Earth is dead. Despite all this, Amuro is surrounded by warmth and love.
"I won't leave you ever again. You're gonna get sick of me," Amuro says.
Char smiles. He's so handsome.
"I could never be sick of you."
Amuro's on fire. This is it. They will push back Axis.
"Char!" Amuro screams.
"Amuro!"
Kikka, Letz, Katz, Char, and even Fraw and Hayato envelope the two of them.
Amuro's alive and in extraordinary amounts of pain. He flings his arms around before he opens his eyes, and something catches him. Then he's aware that the pain is coming from his upper right thigh
"Sssshhh. It's okay," Char soothes.
He tries to move his right leg, and the pain intensifies. He opens his eyes.
He's lying on his back with his head in Char's lap. He's still wearing his normal suit. There was a cut on his cheek and a red patch on his right shoulder, but he's fine otherwise.
"You're alive." Amuro voices the thought that cuts through the pain.
Amuro has never seen Char so happy.
"We did it," Char says.
Amuro lifts his head up. He needs to know why he's hurting so badly.
"Stay calm. Deep breaths." Char commands.
Like the good solider he is, Amuro listens. The lower half of his normal suit has been cut off, along with his pants. His right leg is covered in red and bending the wrong way. Chunks of his thigh are missing. A nylon tourniquet has been applied above the highest wound. His left leg has multiple cuts that have already been bandaged.
He takes a few deep breaths.
"I'm going to lose my leg."
"You're alive."
"So are you."
And that's more important. Except no, that's wrong. Their deaths are needed to bring about the future Amuro saw.
"We not supposed to be alive," Amuro says as he panics.
He tries to move, and fuck, he's in a lot of pain. Char holds him in place to stop him from moving again.
"We can let Char and Amuro die," Char says. "Let's get out of the way of the next generation."
That could work, but being a solider is all Amuro knows. He hasn't had to lead his own life since he was a boy.
"I don't know who I'd be."
"I've always wanted to be a farmer," Char suggests.
A simple life with Char. No more Neo Zeon.
"I don't deserve it. I did something horrible. It's unbearable to think about."
Everyone who lived in Lhasa is dead because of him. Yet, Char is not upset at him. He's still looking at Amuro like he's the rarest of gems.
"I want you anyway," Char says.
"You won't see Kamille again. You could turn me in and pick your life back up."
Char smiles softly.
"Kamille's an adult. He'll be fine without me."
Amuro takes a deep breath. It hurts. He probably has a broken rib or two. Tears well up in his eyes.
"I'm so tired, Char."
"Then let's rest."
He laughs, then winces. He wants to be farmers with Char, and the sudden longing hurts worse than the pain in his chest and his leg. He holds his still gloved hand up, and Char takes it with his own bare hand.
"Hospital first."
"I'll carry you. Brace yourself."
Amuro tenses, but he still screams when Char stands. The pain in his leg is unbearable, and yet, he's at peace. Their sacrifice will inspire millions to become Newtypes and is proof of the potential of humanity.
Char Aznable and Amuro Ray were dead, but they can live on.