Work Text:
"Grunkle ford! We are finding you a boyfriend!' Mabel exclaimed as she burst into the kitchen where Ford was reading.
Ford was speechless as his brain caught up with what Mabel was saying. Mabel didn't acknowledge his silence and continued.
'I already tried to help Stan and he said no plus he's known everyone in gravity falls for like forever. But you're new here! So there are a ton of eligible bachelors for you. So I was thinking-"
Ford cut Mabel off, "Mabel, what? What are you talking about."
"I'm talking about setting you up with a guy in Gravity Falls!" Mabel's enthusiasm wasn't dulled by Ford's confusion.
"What? Why?" Maybe it was not being in this dimension for a while but something wasn't adding up.
"Well I figured you would like someone to date and hang out with, you just spend all your time reading!"
Ford was at a loss for words, "Mabel, I understand that aspect. However I am unable to understand why you are suggesting that person should be a man."
A multitude of emotions ran across Mabel's face and it finally settled on confusion as she said, "Well I figured because you dated only men in the past that you were gay and only liked men." Her excitement came back as she said, "I could find some men and women if you'd prefer!"
"Mabel, I am unsure how you reached the conclusion that I am gay. I have never dated a man, nor am I interested in doing so."
An awkward silence filled the room as Mabel processed the situation.
Ford added, "Why did you think that I am gay?"
"Because you dated McGucket and Bill! I try to be interested in the journals and everything since Dipper is always reading them and they did save my life like a bunch of times when we ran into like zombies or gnomes. Anyway! He said that you and McGucket were living together here in shack and you wrote about how much you valued him and that he left his wife to be with you. Which sounded like you guys were together together. Then with Bill, everything during Weirdmagedon he was totally acting like a crazy ex plus clearly liked you and tried to get you to join him! Plus you guys like worked together which is the nerd equivalent of like being a thing!"
Ford could wrap his head around multiple dimensions, monsters and demons. Yet he found himself unable to understand this. Him and McGucket? Him and Bill? Both ideas were equally ridiculous. She got the facts right but her conclusion was way off. They were his partners, not lovers. They were men.
"Mabel, I never was in a relationship with them nor did I want to be. I'm quite fine by myself."
Mabel's face was now a bright red, "I'm sorry for assuming, Grunkle Ford. Please don't be mad."
"Oh Mabel I'd never be mad at you. You were just trying to be a scientist and using evidence towards a conclusion! Maybe next time just check your 'facts' are concrete before carrying on. I'm glad this is all cleared up." He said and let out a laugh.
They carried on with their normal interactions, chattering about Ford's work and the mystery shack. Of course Mabel continued with her offer of finding him a date, a woman, but Ford declined.
------
Ford had almost forgotten about the conversation with Mabel that happened a few days prior when Stanley came up to him and said "We need to talk."
As they sat down in Stan's office, Ford's mind jumped to the worst case scenario. Was Bill back? Was one of the kids in trouble? Something else?
Stanley said something even more surprising, "Listen Ford, so, I heard about your talk with Mabel and I wanted you to y'know know that it's okay in this dimension, it's okay to be gay. And I know you've been gone for 30 years but stuff has changed. And-uh, sorry I'm not the best talking about that emotional stuff, but like it's okay now."
Ford would have taken monsters over having to talk about this with Stanley.
He pressed his temple with his hand and said, "Stan, I'll tell you the same thing I told Mabel, I'm not a homosexual. " He continued, "Additionally, I've been in dimensions far more encouraging of same-sex attraction and still never felt inclined. Our dimension is actually still rather primitive when it comes to the diversity of sexuality and gender."
Stan just looked frustrated at Ford, "Listen Ford I'm not here to argue about whether or not you're gay. Frankly I don't care. As long as you're not dating another triangle that wants to destroy the universe, I don't care who you think is hot." Stan's face softened a bit, "I just felt as your brother you had the right to know our family will still love you."
"Stan I appreciate that however, it does not apply to me. I hope you know me well enough to know that the same goes for you." Ford said.
Ford then processed the middle of his brother's speech, "Also I did not date Bill!" He wasn't sure why people kept thinking this. He made some mad decisions but none that bad.
"Okay Ford whatever you say" Stan said as he got up to walk out.
Ford's yell of "I truly didn't!" Wasn't heard, at that point Stan had already left. His brother really knew how to get on Ford's nerves.
----
As Ford was continuing his work, Stanley and Mabel's words couldn't leave his head. Why did they think he was a homosexual? It wasn't that he had anything against them, he simply was not one.
Are one of them a homosexual and thought it wouldn't be acceptable to tell him? Hopefully he had made his position clear that he loved his family unconditionally.
However, his family may have been right about his closer-than-friendship relationship with Fiddleford. They were scientific partners, roommates and best friends. But also their relationship felt deeper than any of those labels. Before Bill's corruption, Fiddleford was the only one Ford could truly trust. He confided in him about his past, future and all his dreams. Fiddleford did the same. Fiddleford was also the only one that Ford accepted physical conduct with, he usually hated an arm around his shoulder or even just laying too close; but with Fiddleford that contact was almost craved for.
Was that love? He could easily think of a word where Bill never happened, that it was just Ford and Fiddleford against the world. They would live together and study and maybe adopt an animal, Fiddleford had always been exceedingly fond of them. It would've been nice.
But Bill happened. And Ford could honestly say there was a point where he felt the same about Bill as he did about Fiddleford. Bill promised him the secrets of the universe but also made him feel understood and trusted. He craved Bill's presence as more than intellectual equals. Which meant by the time it was clear that Bill's intentions were not pure, Ford was in too deep.
It reminded Ford of some of Stanely's relationships that he described as 'great until they weren't. And the girlfriend (or wife on one occasion) turned out to be evil.' Ford would have to tell Stan the funny comparison, he'd get a laugh out of it.
Ford realized he never really cared for traditional relationships like how Stan did. No women ever caught his eye in school. Then after that, he was worried about his schooling or just surviving in other dimensions. Romance was the last thing he was worried about. Plus he had Fiddleford, why have a relationship when he already had someone he loved? Of course, platonically.
And when Fiddleford left to get married, he was too heartbroken to even consider dating. It was just never his thing. The thought of Fiddleford's marriage always stirred something deep in Ford. A mix of jealousy, anger, betrayal and maybe a little love. He never really pondered why. Sure he missed his best friend but jealousy? Ford could remember his fantasies of Fiddleford leaving his wife to remain with Ford.
But in a friendship way. Right? Of course he loved Fiddleford, he was his best friend. And it's not like he wanted the romance side with him, the cuddling, hand holding, the kissing. The idea of kissing Fiddleford was... laughable? No. That wasn't the right word. He thought about it. He expected disgust or humor at the idea of kissing his best friend. He waited for the feeling to come but it didn't. Instead it felt warm and safe. The way he felt with Fiddleford.
Ford pushed the thoughts out of his head. He probably just missed his old partner and those feelings were simply appearing. Not out of romantic love but out of loneliness. He would need to think over these revelations and document them.
---
"Stan we need to talk."
"Listen, I'm sorry I stole some knives from your lab. The twins and I were playing 'throw the knife' and we ran out so I borrowed some of yours..."
Ford stopped him, "What? No. This isn't about you stealing my knives, although I would like those back. This is about our conversation."
"Listen pointdexter, my full memory was erased not that long ago, you're gonna need to be more specific."
Ford pretended he didn't heard Stan, "I think I'm a homosexual."
Stan didn't even look shocked, he looked if anything bored, "Yeah I could've told you that. I figured it was better for you to figure it out yourself."
Ford's revelation took back burner when he had the opportunity to argue with his brother, "Oh don't act like you didn't have any involvement in this realization. Last time we talked you ended the conversation basically saying you didn't believe me that I was heterosexual! And you were the one being all lovey-dovey about accepting me, you don't get to act all bored now, you scam artist." Ford's insult lacked any bite, their hate towards each other faded out long ago to gentle teasing.
"Oh shut up Ford, let me be right about something."
"Fine, you were right, I am a homosexual."
"Listen, Ford, it's not wrong to use the word homosexual but most people call themselves gay." Stan explained. Ford did miss quite a lot in other dimensions.
"Fine, I'm gay."
"There you go!"
"Oh shut up." Ford retorted.
"So", Stan started, "was it McGucket or Bill? I mean in my opinion neither are quite the perfect candidate but I'd take McGucket over the demon everyday...."
"Nope! Not having this conversation. Bye Stanley!" Even if Ford got better about talking about his emotions, there were some things he'd rather not talk about.
----
"Hey Mabel, so about that list of eligible men for me in gravity falls... is Fiddleford McGuckett on that list? Because I think that's where I'd like to start."