Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

CCAU - Hero Names

Aizawa Shouta sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as his brow furrowed in frustration. Jelly packet freshly slurped, disgusting instant coffee long since drunk, eyedrops applied and crust cleared away, there was no more putting it off. The problem children were sitting quietly as they waited for the bell to sound. Five seconds more… Nedzu really owed him another raise. He sighed, cracking his joints as the garish yellow sleeping bag slipped off his body and he unfurled to face Hero Class 1.

RIIIIIING

“Class.” he grumbled, as forty heads swiveled towards him. “Good Morning, Aizawa-sensei!” they replied, and his headache grew just a bit worse. He lumbered up to his podium. “Today we’re-”

With a BANG the four meter sliding door slammed against the wall, painted red nails gripping it tight. Midnight sauntered in in her usual getup, strutting along like she owned the place. 

“Hiya kiddies! It’s your favourite homeroom teacher! Some Sports Festival, huh? It gets my blood pumping!... In all the right places~” 

“Hi Kayama-Sensei!” the kiddies all replied. Some of them blushed.

Aizawa offered her a withering glare, to which she beamed in response.The height of irrationality. He turned back towards the class. “Today we’re holding a special hero informatics lesson. Due to Nedzu’s irrational forty-student arrangement, this will bleed over into your first-period mathematics with Ectoplasm. If you fail any tests because of this, take it up with Nedzu and see if you succeed where I failed. I’m going back to bed.”

With that, he pulled the puffy yellow sleeping back up his legs and settled against the podium before slipping down into a light slumber. Midnight nudged him out of the way with a leather boot before taking his place for herself, and boisterously yelled out to the class:

“HERO NAMES! The names that pros are known by! Yesterday you all made your mark upon the world, and today you’re gonna get all marked up yourself - in branding! Minds out of the gutter! Everyone’s eyes were on you like the voyeurs they are and many of you’ve received offers from top pro heroes all around the country, many of whom you know!”

She snapped a finger and pointed it squarely at Midoriya, who squeaked and stared at it with wide doe-eyes. “Midoriya! Name ten heroes, go!”

“U-Uh, um, All Might, Endeavour, Best Jeanist, Kamui Woods, Edgeshot, Gang Orca, Wash, Ryukyu, Mirko, the Wild Wild Pussycats - oh, that’s a team, their names are M-”

“Mandalay, Ragdoll, Tiger, and Prissy-bob, yes. See class! Off the dome, ten heroes! How many of you can name ten politicians?”

A hand raised in the second row. “Hand down, Intelli.” The hand lowered with a huff as Intelli adjusted her monocle.

“That’s kinda just how Midoriya is though.” Kaminari offered, running a hand through his blonde locks. Nods resounded from around the room and Midoriya buried his face into his arms atop his table.

“Point being, how are you gonna accept these offers without a name to accept them by?” Midnight seamlessly continued, and with a crak of her whip the projector lit up the board behind her with a list.

Todoroki Shoto -1,123

Midoriya Izuku - 956

Bakugou Katsuki -934

Tokoyami Fumikage - 720

Ashido Mina - 560

Uraraka Ochako - 300

Kirishima Eijirou - 280

Iida Tenya - 256

Toga Himiko - 222

Josei Ippan - 218

Yaoyorozu Momo - 167

Shiozaki Ibara - 154

Shouji Mezo - 123

Honenuki Juzo - 121

Kaminari Denki - 114

Hatsume Mei - 106

Komori Kinoko - 102

Kamakiri Togaru - 96

Tokage Setsuna - 96

Tsunotori Pony - 54

Mawata Fuwa - 49

Kendo Itsuka - 45

Asui Tsuyu - 5

Intelli Saiko - 1

“WHAT?!?” The class erupted into chaos. “Midoriya! Todoroki! You two killed it, you got like all of the offers!” Sero yelled. “Leave some for us, man!”

“EEEEEE! I got like five hundred! Kiribro! That’s like half a thousand! I got MORE than half a thousand! I’m like half a Todoroki! Am I the hot half?” Mina squealed, beaming at her bestie sitting across her row. “HELL YEAH YOU ARE, Ashibro! You killed it, it’s probably cause you got to the semifinals! Your fight with Todoroki was sick as hell! So manly!”

“Bakugou-kun came third.” Tsuyu pointed out to her neighbor Mina as Bakugou furiously gripped his table. “YOU GOT FIVE FUCKING OFFERS FROG FACE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“I didn’t even place in the finals, kero, and aquatic heroes are rarer. If one of them is with Selkie on the Oki Mariner I’ll be happy.” Bakugou sneered at the froggy girl.

 “Tch, settle for less then.” he remarked with a roll of his eyes, the conversation finished. “Like your mom did?” entered Shinsou from behind, and Bakugou entered a screaming match again.

“Why did Kaminari get so many, shroom? He didn’t even make it to the finals.” Komori wondered aloud, quietly enough that the boy in question didn’t hear. Setsuna’s mouth appeared beside her own, and she yelped and hid behind her bangs.

“Pretty sure those are… pity offers. I mean, he was probably gonna intern with his mom before… Stain happened in Taison. If I had to guess, they all feel bad for him.”

“At least he seems to be dealing with it well.” Kuroiro noted, watching the electric blonde chatting with Midoriya and Kendo.

On the other side of the room, a teal-furred eleven-foot fox girl stared at the screen shocked. “I-I got offers? I got so many..?” A pint-sized, red-haired girl a third of her height turned to gawk at her.

“No way you wouldn’t get offers, Josei! Did you SEE yourself? You gave Bakugou a real beating, you were incredible, I thought you were gonna win that one! The only other first-bracketer that got more offers is Iida and that’s because he’s got hero folks!”

“T-Thanks, Aiba-chan.” Ippan blushed. “I resent that characterization, Aiba-san!” the Iida scion bellowed past her, Intelli clutching her ears. “Everybody did their utmost during the festival and I’m sure respectable professional heroes would’ve looked past such familial ties! The differences in offers must be because certain quirks are simpler or more common and thus better for more heroes to teach, hence why Asui-san mentioned her aquatic specialization being a limiting factor!”

“Call me Tsu, kero. And I can still kick through a wall on land so I’m still a bit pissed about only getting five offers.”

“HA! I FUCKING KNEW YOU GAVE A SHIT! HOW’S THAT FIVE OFFERS FEEL NOW?”

“How’s third place feel?”

Before Bakugou could explode again, a valley-girl voice piped up from the back of the class. “If it’s cuz of quirk matchups and all that jazz, why’d Midoriya win that dope fight with Todoroki with a simple strength enhancer quirk and get like, way fewer offers?” Camie asked while fiddling with her phone. Iida opened his mouth but just flapped it like a fish before closing it and sitting back down.

With that, Midnight cracked her whip again, bringing silence upon the class once more. “I like to see a little… obedience. Very good. Now! You’re all going to have a chance at internship - even if you got no offers, we have a preset list of pros you can choose from as well. You’ll all receive your offer lists after class. That being said, Yanagi? Can you be a dear and pass out these whiteboards?” She picked up a stack of small whiteboards which promptly began to levitate with a glowing pink aura, settling themselves down on the forty tables.

“You want to think long and hard about what name you pick, and I won’t let you choose something that disappoints me… I hold full veto power for all of your hero names, or at least until you all graduate - our image is important! Remember, kiddos, that you end up with names like Eraserhead without domineering women like me around to take control.”

A smattering of snickers arose from the assembled students, and Eraserhead quietly groaned behind her. Ah, so he wasn’t asleep. Listening in, the softy.

“Sounds easy, already done.” Bakugou declared from the front. Midnight turned towards him with a raised eyebrow, lips pursed. “Is that so? Let’s hear it.”

Stomping up to the podium, he slammed his board down and turned it towards the classroom.

OVERLORD HERO: KING EXPLOSION MURDER.

“PFFFTTT!!! WHAT?!?” Jirou exclaimed, and like a switch every single student was now laughing uproariously at the explosive, ashen-haired blonde. “I like it!” came the lone voice of Toga, but nobody was particularly surprised.

“As expected of you, Bakugou! It’s terrible, basically villainous! You’re dragging the rest of us into the mud!” a haughty voice proclaimed, several others nodding along to Monoma’s words.”It is a bit long” Kendo diplomatically offered.

“SHUT IT BIG HANDS! SHUT UP, PRICK!” 

“Why am I just Prick you thug!?” Monoma demanded, before being silenced by Midnight raising a hand. 

“It’s… it’s bad, Bakugou. Sit down.” she asserted, looking around. Mina, why don’t you go next?

Before the pink-skinned girl could stand and make her way over, Bakugou slammed a fist down on the podium. “Not yet! As if all you extras could make a name even half this good!”

“Dynamite” Honenuki spitballed.

“Ground Zero” Shoda added.

“Tsar Bomba?” Bondo offered.

“Trinitrotoleune”. Every eye in the class turned towards Yaoyorozu, who blushed. “Too wordy?”

“I agree, excellent examples of good names!” Midnight praised. Bakugou sizzled in anger. “NO THEY FUCKING AREN’T! THEY’RE ALL SHIT! I’D NEVER USE SHITTY NAMES YOU EXTRAS CAME UP WITH LIKE THAT!” Midnight shooed him away and beckoned Ashido up.

“Right, check it! Coming at you hot, it’s…” she turned the board around.

RIDLEY HERO: ALIEN QUEEN

“Mmm, no.” Midnight shot it down, Ashido deflating. “Aww man, why not? It’s awesome!” Midnight tutted. “It explains nothing about your quirk, and it doesn’t sound particularly heroic. And what’s a Ridley hero?”

“...”

“You just wanted to make a reference to that one movie, didn’t you?”

“...maybe.”

“So, Alien Queen is off the board… I’ve got it!” She scribbled some more, turning the board to face the class.

ACID HERO: PINKY

“It’s… don’t you hate being called that?” Midnight asked with an uncertain look on her face. Ashido rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “I mean… yeah? I just thought it kinda sounded like the sort of name you wanted to hear, y’know? And I am pink so…”

“Insecurity is beta.” Camie drawled from the back, filing her nails. “You gotta confidencemaxx until you can mog all the other betas and show you’re totes a level 99 alpha boss babe”. Midnight looked like she’d swallowed some puke. Todoroki subtly leaned to his side to ask Toga what Camie meant. “Uh… thanks for the kind words, Camie-san.” Midnight interjected, desperate to clear the awkward air that had built up.

Ashido moped off back to her seat, the rest of the class looking intimidated at the teardown. Scanning the class for easy prey, everyone nervously avoided Midnight’s eyes by studying their whiteboards. Easy prey, easy prey… “Shiozaki!” The vine-haired girl flinched, and slowly made her way to the podium of disappointment where names went to die. Midnight gave her a smile, the wicked witch. She turned.

“Much as I do not wish to sacrifice my idea to an icon of sin and depravity, I hold faith that my heroic nomination will ring fair. You may all call me…”

HOLY HERO: VINE

Midnight looked flabbergasted. “I thought you had a [ brilliante] vocabulary” Aoyama sulked, disappointment visceral. The rest of the class looked on, bemused at the name’s… simplicity.

“Right… new rule, class. No shit names like that.”

“Language! Do not hasten to speak curses!” Shiozaki chastised, returning to her seat to peruse her pocket bible, another soul fallen to Midnight’s wrathful critique. “Oh wow, Miss Midnight’s really not going easy on us, huh?” Uraraka muttered. Wagging her eyebrows, Midnight turned straight to look at her. “I’m known for being rough , Uraraka. It’s part of my charm. Now, charm ME!” she waved her bullwhip towards the brunette, Bondo and Bakugou ducking beneath the trailing leather strips. She nervously walked up to the podium, eyes scanning over everybody. Deku-kun gave her a nervous thumbs up, Iida-kun sitting upright with a reassuring smile, Tsu-chan staring blankly in a calming way.

“Right…” she wrung her hands, board face down. Taking in a deep breath and gulping, she faced the class with blazing eyes. “I…I’ve always wanted to be a rescue hero, ever since I was a kid. To save people with a smile on my face, to keep them safe from every accident that happens! So I could provide for my parents, and give them lots of money and a good, comfortable life! I love them, and I need to see them safe! But at the sports festival… I promised myself to win, and I lost to Deku-kun without even making it into the semifinals.” She glanced in his direction, and Midoriya averted his eyes, guilty. She turned back away from him to address the class again.

“I was gonna use a cutesy name like Uravity. It’s a pun on my name, and it-it kinda sounds like gravity. Space Hero: Uravity. But I was thinking… that’s not the hero I want to be! I’m not gonna be a cute hero with a cute name who sells toys to kids! I’m gonna be a BADASS hero with a BADASS name who can save everyone, and who sells toys to kids so she can save her parents too!” Toga swooned. “I’m gonna be the hero who reaches out and reaches everyone, and nothing will ever escape me again! Call me…” She turned the board around.

COSMIC HERO: SINGULARITY

Greeted with a smattering of applause, she turned to Midnight, challenging her with a determined smile. Midnight, by contrast, had stars in her eyes. 

“I LOVE it! APPROVED!” Midnight exclaimed, grin widening. “Listen up! That’s a good name! Some of the best names out there carry a message or intention, or have a reason behind them - they make you feel a certain way. Determination! Safety! Comfort!”

“Y-yeah, it’s really punchy, Uraraka-san! It’s got a lot of weight to it!” a blushing Midoriya complimented. “Was that a pun, kero?” Tsuyu wondered aloud, earning a bark of laughter from Setsuna as Midoriya groaned and facepalmed.

“Ooooh~ it’s super cool, Occhan!” Toga gushed, a prominent blush on her face. “Now I just want you to reach out to me and scoop me up to save me!” She hugged her sides, rocking herself. “You’re so smooth! Really know how to make a maiden like me feel!” Uraraka blushed hard, turning away. The things this girl says..! So Forward!

Thankfully, Sero bailed her out with a relatively normal compliment. “Cosmic hero sounds a lot better than space hero too! More grand, right?” “Yeah, it just sounded better in my head!” she replied, striding back down to her desk to seat herself, vibrating happily. Turning to her seatmate, “I’ve got a real hero name! I’m a real hero now, Pony-chan!” she giggled, offering the horse girl a high-five she happily accepted. “I am happy for you, Ochako! Is a good name! Better than mine…” 

“What’s yours?” a curious Uraraka asked. “I was going to… [how do you say…] Rocket Hero: Stampede… because I’m having shooting horns out of my head… and look like a horse… it’s dumb.” she shriveled into her seat, Uraraka leaning over to comfort her. 

“Dumb AND taken!” Midnight helpfully piped up before being cowed by the withering glares of every single person in the room. “The, uh… epithet and name themselves are both already taken.” she elaborated.

“Not cool, sensei! Don’t you hurt Tsunotori-san’s feelings like that! Look at her!” Tsubaraba yelled from the back row. “You’re gonna ruin a smile so precious?”

“[SHUT UP!]” Pony yelled, Tsubaraba turning pale as Yanagi at the sudden, vitriolic outburst from the usually cheery girl. “Shut up! I hate it! You all calling me cute! I am more than cute! I also had another cute name! [Rocketti] is a cute name! I will follow Ochako’s name! I’m gonna be a hero who kicks your [ass]! 

She stormed up to the front, hooves clopping hard against the ground as the forty thoroughly quieted students and two taken aback teachers swiveled their heads to the podium. Pony violently scribbled the marker against the board before turning it to face the class.

“Let’s see which villains think a [CARPET BOMBING] is cute! ARTILLERY HERO: HOWITZER!”

For a moment, the class was stunned in shocked silence. Then, Ochako whooped and gave two big thumbs up, grinning at her, and the vicious frown vanished from Pony’s face into a cheery little smile again. “Uh, that’s… approved, yeah.” Midnight concluded.

“FUCK!” roared Bakugou, before he began to brutally wipe away something on his whiteboard again. “Hah! Did she steal your fuckin’ name?” Kamakiri taunted. “CAN IT, BUG FACE, NO SHE DIDN’T! I JUST-I JUST THOUGHT OF A BETTER ONE, OK?”

“Oh? Care to share with the class, Katsuki?” Midnight smirked. Bakugou briefly sweatdropped before his face fell back into a neutral expression. He stuffed a hand in one pocket, the board under the other, and sauntered back up to the front, and turned the board around.

TNT HERO: LORD EXPLOSION MURDER

“Pretty good, ain’t it?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

The class sat in stunned silence again, which Bakugou took for rejection with a tch as he vacated back to his seat. “Yeesh. Denied” Midnight said, sealing the awesome name’s fate. “Asui, you’re up.”

“Call me Tsu, kero” she replied, the greenette walking up to the board with a hunch. Flipping the board around, she explained “I’ve had this name in mind since I was a tadpole and I learned about heroes for the first time, kero, and I wanted to be one as well.”

RAINY SEASON HERO: FROPPY

“That’s great! It’s got a nice, friendly feeling to it and makes sense! It sounds like ‘Froggy’, doesn’t it? The epithet’s unique too. APPROVED!” Midnight gushed.

“It’s adorable! The kids’ll love you, Tsu-chan!” Fuwa Mawata praised.

 “ Uber -cute, Tsu-chan! It’s so pretty!” Toga flirted, several others rolling their eyes at her antics.

 “ [Magnifique] !” Aoyama sparkled.

“[I’m biased because it’s animal themed, but it’s pretty unique!] ” Kouji Koda signed.

“I can already imagine it in the top charts! Edgeshot, Froppy, Best Jeanist… it fits into a lineup!” Fukudashi Manga noted. “Succinct too! You’re way better than Bakugou at this!”

Boring holes into the left side of Manga’s head, the blonde let out a dangerous growl. “ Ya wanna go, 2-D? Haah?”

“Fukudashi’s right!” Monoma jumped in, “What you’ve done is like rearranging the contents of a bin and-”

“FUCK OFF, PRICK! YOU DO IT THEN IF YOU’RE SUCH HOT SHIT!”

Feathers ruffled at being cut off, Monoma stood up with a huff and marched to the front of the class, turning his board around.

“Many have disparaged my quirk, called it useless without others. To them, I say - feh! I won’t be made the mockery of people whose quirks are as simple to use as they are simple to steal - the hero who shows crooks how low they truly are! Behold!”

COPYCAT HERO: PHANTOM THIEF

Pushing up her Monocle, “It’s direct yet has a sense of flair…” Intelli began.

“Pleasing to the ear…” Jirou pitched in, idly twirling an earjack.

“It’s got personality up the wazoo! Trickster hero!” Hagakure continued, jumping up and raising her empty sleeves into the air.

“I-It has a nice bit of alliteration in it?” Midoriya offered with a raised hand, shrinking back as Bakugou eyed him.

“We all like it! Approved!” Midnight finished. 

“...I’ve got a name too.” Bondo quietly murmured. With a gentle smile and a hand gesture, Midnight called him up to the front. “I know it’s pretty simple and it’s not the coolest, but… I’m gonna own it!” He punctuated the last expression with a small fist-pump, uncharacteristically energetic. “I’m the… BONDING HERO: GORILLA GLUE!”

“Sometimes simple is better! Don’t try to twist your head around making complicated jokes, puns, references… it’s got alliteration, and it describes your quirk and fighting style! Simple and functional!”

“Like your quirk!” Midoriya exclaimed.

“Yeah, hella manly Bondo Bro! Bro-ondo!” Kirishima commended. Most of his classmates followed suit, applauding politely as Bondo blushed white and returned to his desk, unused to all the attention. “That’s approved then!” Midnight celebrated. “Three in a row that are winners! Can we get four for four?”

Ashido pushed herself up, fists hitting her desk with a SLAM as she raised her voice. “I’ll give you four for four!” She marched up. “If I can’t be Alien Queen, and I don’t wanna be Pinky, then I gotta think of a new name, right? So I thought, hey, what Camie said! Something about mogging! I’ve gotta own MYSELF! If I look like an alien, I gotta at least say I’m looking good !” Jirou and Yaoyorozu blushed at that. “Behold! ALIEN HERO: LADY VENUS!” 

“Ooh! Ooh! Because Venus is shrouded in clouds of sulfuric acid, right? It’s a space reference!” Uraraka exclaimed, stars in her eyes. “So you’re like an alien from Venus! And back in pre-quirk times scientists used to think there was life on Venus because it had clouds so thick they obscured the surface!”

“Venus was also the goddess of love and beauty, as well as victory,” Tokoyami Fumikage offered. Dark Shadow popped out of his chest, nodding her head like a little muppet. “Sex too!” she squawked, before being shoved back inside by a blushing Tokoyami, feathers ruffled.

“Hmm… I’m still not sure…” Midnight mused, one hand on her chin and the other resting on a cocked hip. “I still feel like it’s got some negative connotations…”

“Is it ‘cause it kinda sounds like Mount Lady and you hate her guts?” Kaminari asked. All of a sudden, every eye in the room was on her. Glancing backwards, she could even see Aizawa giving that creepy smirk of his. Fuck. “Fineee.” she moaned, waving a skipping Ashido off. “Next?” she asked with a theatrical air of lethargy, dragging her hand weakly through the air to give her bullwhip a halfhearted shake.

“ [Mon temps pour briller, Madame ] Midnight!” Aoyama shouted, “My name will be shining! Radiant! [Tres Magnificue] !” 

“It’s [Madamoiselle] , Aoyama” she replied with gritted teeth. Aoyama at least had the decency to look ashamed. “Right… anyhow!” Shimmying up to the podium, he struck a pose, one hand in the air and the other on his board as he closed his eyes and pointed his head away. 

“Originally, I was going to go with [Shining Hero: I Cannot Stop Twinkling] !” he began, smugly taking in the sickened faces of his compatriots. “But I considered your insightful words. ‘Twas too dull! Not nearly matching my sparkle! I shall be a shining and shimmering knight in a fabulous cape, no? [Detourne les yeux] , everyone, or you will be blinded! Regale the TWINKLING HERO: ARTHUR! It is [brilliante] , is it not?”

“Oh, like King Arthur! That’s a classic reference that won’t be dated!” Yaoyorozu glowed as she clapped her hands. “I love classic stories!”

“That’s a definite improvement, Aoyama! Very good job! Approved!” Midnight said. “ Can’t believe he was going to go with a full fucking sentence ” she muttered under her breath, taking notice as Shouji snorted and Jirou wheezed into her hand. Jirou relayed what Midnight said to Manami, subtly leaning over, only to completely blow her cover as Manami whispered back “ Is it worse than Great Jackoff Dick Murderer though? ” and caused her to choke and wheeze. Unfortunately, this drew the attention of Midnight.

“Jirou! You’re next! Get up here and show us what you’ve got!” Jirou stilled, jacks tapping together. She shuffled up to the podium, Bakugou giving a smugass smirk. Gulping, she turned. Mina, Yaomomo, Josei, Midoriya, and Kaminari all gave her smiles and thumbs up in assurance. Turning to Midnight, she displayed her board for the class to see.

HEARING HERO: EARPHONE JACK

“Hm. It’s just your quirk name?” Midnight asked. She nodded, and received a disapproving shake of the head in turn. “It’s decent, but I think you can do better if you put your mind to it. I think I remember you know a lot about music, right? Why don’t you try working that into it?

“Hmm.” Jirou thought for a second, scouring her mind. She wiped the board clean, and wrote something new. “In music, there’s a word for when the frequency of vibration that causes soundwaves harmonizes with the natural frequency of another and creates something entirely new. It’s not super original to want to be a hero who lifts others up, but there’s also nothing super original when you’re making music. It’s all based on what came before in a way. Call me the AUDIO HERO: RESONANCE.”

“It’s a fantastic name.” Yaoyorozu stated, blushing a bit. “You sound like a true hero.”

“Yeah, Jirou! Get it, girl!” Ashido chimed in.

Midnight gave her a satisfied smirk and a pat on the back. “Another happy customer of my self-help advice! I’ve written books on this stuff, kiddos! Just don’t look in an… adult bookstore. You may not like what you find!” With that she sent a blushing Jirou back to her desk, Josei and Aiba gushing over how cool her choice was.

“I’ve got a name” Shoda offered as Midnight once again swept her eyes over the class. He walked up to the front. “It’s also pretty simple, it just references my quirk. But I think it sounds heroic and catchy. He turned the board around with a proud smile. “Call me the HOMING HERO: TWICE.”

“Oh! That sounds pretty natural!” Kendo complimented. “It makes sense but it’s vague enough that it’s not just a description.”

“Yeah!” Sero added. “It’s pretty heroic! I can totally imagine a hero called Twice running around!”

“Are you sure it’s not taken? It is pretty simple, there’s got to be a hero with the name Twice.” Shinsou bluntly stated, turning to Midnight, who shook her head. Toga frowned, saying nothing.

“Revelry in the dark.” Tokoyami began, with no buildup or reason whatsoever, at exactly the same time as Kuroiro said “I’m next” and stood up. The two turned towards each other and glared. 

“I was about to say I’m next first, as a true paragon of the dark. Do not attempt to overshadow me” Tokoyami sneered. “Yeah, buzz off loser!” Dark Shadow added. “You didn’t even make the final round!”

Midnight raised her whip, about to step in, when Kuroiro retorted “It must be nice to have a second mouth to fight your verbal battles for you, poser.”

“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” chanted Hagakure, Hatsume, Toga, Kamakiri, Ashido, Sero, Kaminari, Manami, and Setsuna.

“BROS!” Kirishima interrupted, raising a palm. “I have the perfect solution!” Smacking his fist into his palm, he declared “They should arm wrestle so that the manliest goes first!” The cheerers all looked expectantly at the dark duo, who glared at each other, before Kuroiro placed his elbow onto his desk with a thump. “Let us duel then, bird boy. Unless you’re… chicken ?”

Gritting his teeth as Dark Shadow tried to lunge at Kuroiro before being held back, Tokoyami marched up to the pitch-black boy’s desk and silenced his quirk’s cries of ‘lemme at ‘im!’, accepting the challenge and shoving his palm into Kuroiro’s. Every eye in the room turned to Midnight, who was watching with perhaps too much enthusiasm for a member of staff. Iida, dismayed, turned to Kendo. “Kendo-san! Surely as Class Representative you have to settle this dispute and ensure nobody hurts themselves in this flagrant display of hooliganry! This sort of conduct is unbefitting!”

“You’re right.” she reassured, walking up to Kuroiro’s desk where the two were situated and where every student watched, a ring of eyes around them. Walking up to the side of the desk, she placed an enlarged palm between the competitors. “I want a good, clean match. When I pull my hand away, the match starts. No quirk use, dirty tricks, or do-overs, and no whining afterwards. Got it?”

“Yes Kendo-san” the two replied, Dark Shadow babbling about ‘discriminatory arm-wrestling policies’ under her breath. “Good. Go!” she announced, forgoing a countdown. Fortunately, the two were by now well-acquainted with UA’s bullshit and didn’t expect one.

Though the two were both dedicated and hardworking hero course students, it was… the put it mildly, the match was a blowout. Tokoyami’s resistance crumbled after about a second and Kuroiro slammed his hand down onto the desk. Whooping and cheering erupted from around them, Tokoyami sulking as his shadowy rival smugly walked up to the podium. 

“I… was expecting a bit more fight than that, man, what happened?” Tsubaraba whined in disappointment. Ashido and Setsuna seemed more subdued too, the sharks retreating now that there was no longer any blood in the water.

“Yeah, he got BTFO’d, total one tap.” Camie commented.

“Really, the result was quite predictable” Intelli supplied, Iida and Honenuki giving her a curious look.

Midoriya scratched his cheek. It makes sense though. Kuroiro’s fighting style relies on grapples and tackles and getting close to an opponent after jumping out of a shadow. While Tokoyami is no slouch, he does tend to rely on Dark Shadow for attacks… Glancing around the room, he noticed Kendo and Monoma looking appraisingly at him. “Did I say that out loud?” 

Monoma nodded. “Yes, it’s truly saddening how low some ruffians can bring our reputation. What kind of class would we appear to be if our fellow classmates became so reliant on their own quirks that they forewent even basic strengthening and combat training?” 

Kendo furrowed her brow in annoyance. “I want to head chop him, but he kind of does have a point. Bakugou did pretty much curb-stomp him in the battle trials. Maybe I should offer to teach him some martial arts?” 

“Oh, that’s a fantastic idea Kendo-san! You’re the best martial artist in the class, you would be a great teacher!” Midoriya beamed at her, notebook in hand. Komori quietly stepped towards the trio, hands demurely clasped in front of her. “I-if it’s alright, could you tutor me too, shroom? I, uh… I did kinda get wiped by Todoroki-kun and looked like shiitake in front of millions on TV.”

“Of course, I’d be glad to!” Kendo brightly announced, causing Komori to brighten. It looked like Hagakure was about to pipe in as well when one of Shouji’s six arms shot up. “Perhaps now that all that’s dealt with, we should continue with the names, Kayama-sensei?”

“Of course, Shouji, forgive me… I think we all got a bit heated and carried away-” Kuroiro ignored her as he strode up. “There’s a special material that’s so dark that even when you shine lights on it it looks pitch black. As an emissary of true darkness, it is my duty to uphold the way of the night akin to that, so it may bring forth a dark justice even under the harshest glare. Villains beware… the LURKING HERO: VANTABLACK.”

“So edgy!!!” the class thought as one, Midnight included, but she appreciated the name nonetheless. “Approved! Tokoyami, you’re up.” The bird-headed boy walked up to the podium, unsubtly body-checking Kuroiro as the pitch-black student returned to his seat with an annoyed exhale. Irately, the ravenette began:

“When I received my quirk, I knew I had a powerful darkness within. My shadow itself came alive, as if from a different plane, and ailed me so. Harnessing he-”

“DARKNESS HERO: UMBRA!” said shadow interrupted, peeving the gothic boy off. “Dark Shadow, cease your insolent interrupting! You didn’t let me explain the true meaning of the name! Now we look like posers!” he hissed. Kuroiro chuckled from his desk.

For a moment, Dark Shadow looked at him blankly. “You mean, now you look like a poser.” And with that, she vanished back into his chest, leaving him thoroughly ruffled in front of the entire class. Mawata raised a hand and spoke. “Uh, Umbra just means shadow or darkness or like, a dark spot being shadowed by something else, right? So you’ve kinda just called yourself the darkness hero: darkness.” Tokoyami blushed. “It’s not that deep,” Camie agreed.

“You’re done, approved, fuck off! I’ve got a name again!” Bakugou yelled, jolting the embarrassed boy who speed-walked back to his desk to put his head under his harms. “Bakugou.” Midnight warned. “But yes, that’s a fine name, approved. Who will go next..?”

“Uh, ME?” 

“Just who will I pick…”

“FUCK THIS!” He turned his board to her from his own desk. “GRAND GRENADE HERO: KING EXPLODOKILL SLAUGHTER!”

“It keeps getting worse” Uraraka moaned from behind the class. Pony patted her on the back soothingly.

“Mm.” Yui Kodai mumbled in agreement. Midnight seemed to be understanding Eraserhead’s life choices now. “Denied, obviously.”

“FUCK YOU MEAN OBVIOUSLY?!? I EVEN GOT RID OF ‘MURDER’!”

“Changing it to slaughter is hardly an improvement!” Iida called out, chopping his arms towards the blonde. “Nor does including the word kill!”

“What about death? My hero name’s got that in it.” Komori mused, Iida turning towards her with an open mouth that a hand from Setsuna pinched closed. “Oh? You ‘ve been holding out on us, Komori?”

The brunette skipped up to the front of the class, turning on her heel and cocking a pose with a peace sign as she lifted her board. “I’m gonna be a shroom ingly cute idol hero, and be beloved by all ! But I also don’t wanna be underestimated! So how about some mush taposition?” She pulled a bang back, revealing her deep brown eyes with X’s for pupils, and stuck her tongue out from between her teeth cheekily. “Cheer for me! FUNGAL HERO: DEATH CAP!”

“It’s unconventional…” Midnight began, before Midoriya interrupted. “Ah, Kayama-sensei? There’s a licensed hero out there called Death Arms so Death Cap should be fine t-too, right?”

“Yeah, it’s super cute, Koko-chan!” Toga cheered, fangs flashing.

“Makes the mushroom thing super clear too. And it’s like a warning to villains, like a real death cap! Stay away!” Shoda gestured kindly. “Good job, it’s solid!”

“I suppose it is!” she answered. “Fair enough, approved!” Then she looked around, pantomiming frustration. One hand cocked on her hip, she leaned forward and placed the other above her head, appearing to be searching. “Now, just who could we have go next. Eeny, meeny, miny - YOU !” She whipped her hand back towards the six-armed boy. “Get on up here, no escaping! You think a big boy like you can… take control , and get away with it?” He strode up, holding his board.

 “Of course. Truthfully, I’m not sure if this is any good. I’m kinda doing the opposite of what Tsunotori-chan said. This one is about my appearance, and less about my quirk. I’ve taken a lot of flak for how I look, and I know many others here have as well. If I want to be a hero, I want to be a hero for all the heteromorph kids out there, like Gang Orca.” Josei and Kamakiri smiled appreciatively as he finished. “Call me TENTACLE HERO: TENTACOLE”.

Midnight gave a little mm in thought. “It’s a bit repetitive.” Pony raised a hand from the back of the classroom. “Is… this because Neito tricked me into saying you are looking like an [octopus] ? Because I don’t think you do, I’m sorry!” Monoma’s skin prickled as he felt the combined glares of every student surrounding him. Even Koda looked miffed.

“Your arms don’t look anything like tentacles too!” Hatsume yelled, Jirou wincing at her enthusiasm. “It would be like if I named Baby number one-four-one-four the long fall boots . You know what that would do to my business? No company would look my way!”

“Ooh! Idea!” Manami scrabbled up onto her table and stood up, waving her arms around. “You kinda look like Snipe-sensei with the mask, like a real cowboy! Maybe you could do something with that?”

“I’m not a big cowboy fan.” Shouji answered. An ear on one of his arms informed him that Todoroki was muttering something about ‘Snipe-sensei’s love child’ but he ignored it. “I’ve got an idea though. Thanks, Aiba-san.” He picked up the board with a two hands and wrote on it with another. Twisting it around, a hand formed on a fourth. “ARMED HERO: SIX-SHOT”. 

“Much better!” Midnight praised. “Any feedback from the class? Yaoyorozu raised a hand. “Is it a reference to how you have six appendages and you can, in a way, expend and reload them?” Shouji nodded. “Pretty much. And it still says I’ve got six arms in a way, even if it’s subtler than I would’ve liked.”

“Nice! It kinda sounds like you can do this, too!” Setsuna called out, raising an arm and firing a hand to bap him on the face before it fell to the ground and returned to her.

“Manly as hell dude!” Kirishima shouted from the front. Midnight raised her whip up as she homed in on him, but he was faster. “I’m gonna go next too!” Running up, he slammed the board down. “HARDENING VIRILITY HERO: RED RIOT!”

His teacher looked torn. Chuckles came from some parts of the class. “Ah, is the name ‘Red Riot’ an homage to the chivalrous hero, Crimson Riot?” Kirishima gave a wide, sharp grin. “Yup!

I got my whole idea of how to be a hero from him! Even if it’s a bit retro I still wanted to pay homage to my inspiration!”. 

“Hm. You know if you name yourself after him there’s a lot of pressure to live up to that, right?” she pressed, but his mind was made. “I know! A real man faces responsibility head-on!” She nodded. “Good name! As for the epithet though… I’m not sure if you want to look like the sort of hero I am.

He tilted his head like a curious puppy. “Why, what’s wrong with it?”

“H-hey Kiribro?” Ashido piped up, struggling holding back a laugh. “W-what about the - pfft - Rock-Hard Hero instead?” He smiled at her, totally innocent. “Hey, yeah, that’s a good one!”

“How about just the Hard Hero?” Jirou dryly added, raising a finger.

“Hard-On Hero!” Hagakure supplied.

“Virile Mountain Peak Hero?” Manga joined.

“Raging Stiff Hero.” Shinsou mused.

“Stick and Stones Hero?” Kamakiri spoke.

Shiozaki looked disgusted. “What about the Unbreakable Hero?” Kirishima whipped his head to her in glee. “That’s a super good one, thanks!” He scribbled squickly, turning the board to reveal his messy scrawl. “The UNBREAKABLE HERO: RED RIOT!”

“Approved! Though I did enjoy the other names…” Midnight said, closing the discussion before anyone else piped in - Toga and Sero looking particularly disappointed.

Man, Kirishima’s so cool… Midoriya thought, in a maybe-kinda-gay way.

“Alright, make way! My turn!” Pieces of Setsuna disassembled and flew through the room, ducking under chairs and over desks and weaving between everyone. Koda yelped as a finger flew beneath him, Mei ducking as an eye flew between her goggles. Pieces flew as if amidst a tornado before reassembling into Setsuna at the podium. She held an arm up as a disembodied hand trailed over the room, carrying her board, and slotted back together with the rest of her. “I’ve got green hair and sharp teeth and my quirk is lizard tail splitter, so call me REPTILIAN HERO: LIZARDY!”

“Nope.” Midnight immediately shot down, and Tokage immediately collapsed into pieces on floor, overwhelmed by disappointment. “This breaks the too-simple rule, it’s like Vine.” Shiozaki sniffed from the middle of the room. “Sit back down.”

Setsuna grumbled, reassembling and trudging back to her table with her head hung. Kodai raised her hand. “I’ve got a really good one.” Midnight nodded at her, and she stepped up. “Call me the SIZE HERO: RULE.”

“Kodai, what?” Midnight appeared baffled. Todoroki seemed to be nodding sagely, but everyone else seemed equally taken aback.

“What? It’s good.”

“Honey, no. No it isn’t.”

Yanagi spoke first. “Rule as in… ruler?”

“Mm.”

“This really isn’t your best showing” the silver-haired girl shook her head in defeat.

“I’m a grower not a-”

“KODAI!” Ibara cried, wrapping herself in vines and covering her ears.

“What about ratio?” Camie suggested, blowing and popping a bubble as Aizawa glared at her, too comfy to move from his spot. Kaminari and Ashido groaned.

“Call me the Size Queen Hero: Ratio then.” Kodai nodded, Ibara sputtering as Iida leveled her with a stern and disapproving look. “W-what about the Scaling Hero instead?” Josei offered, Kodai raising her head to meet the blonde fox girl with a blank look. “Since your quirk works by changing the - the scale of things?” Iida was mollified by that, lowering a hand that had previously been raised to chop at unheard of speeds.

“Mm. Sure. SCALING HERO: RATIO. ” She wrote it down and returned to her seat. Iida made to stand up when Setsuna, who had been whispering with Mononma, reassembled at the podium before him. “Spot’s taken, you snooze you lose! Anyhoo!” She raised her board, freshly adorned with a new name. Beat this, sucker! CHOP CHOP HERO: KOMODOR!”

“Oh, like the military rank commodore, kero?” Asui asked. Setsuna’s head popped off and turned independently to face her fellow greenette. “Yup! And also like komodo dragon!”

“That’s a good name!” Midnight spoke, arms crossed. “Why the chop chop hero though?”

Setsuna held her best poker face, a little droplet of sweat running down her face. Luckily, Manga bailed her out. “Probably ‘cause when she uses her quirk it looks like she’s been chopped into little bits, right?” Setsuna nodded a little too fast, head still floating in the air. “Right! Yeah, that, exactly!” “Approved!” Midnight relented, letting her go back to her seat. Setsuna ran back, her mouth detaching to float over to Manga. “Nice save, dude! I snuck a reference by her!” she whispered, Manga giving her a thumbs up in response.

Meanwhile, Midnight turned to a blonde currently sitting in the back row. “You’re up, Camie!” The girl in question sauntered up, placing her phone back into her pocket, and leaned forwards on the podium with her board face down. Turning towards Intelli, she gave the bluenette a wink and a saucy smile.

 “Right. So, I was thinking for a skoch ‘bout what I was gonna use for a name, and I thought I had a totes baller one. I was gunnin’ for Ullus-o-camie, right? But then I went, ‘yeah, nah, this ain’t it.’ So then I was thinking - Midnight-sensei was bein’ real as hell, and I needed something that would, like, really psych all of y’all up.” Intelli looked more and more irritated by the second. “Then I was thinking, ‘how ‘bout Illusionista?’ But I’m not like a hundo percent on board with that either, and then I figured that just using the word illusion over and over is like, certified lame. So then I-”

“GET TO THE POINT YOU IMBECILE!” 

Attention successfully diverted to one Saiko Intelli, breathing heavily, Camie blew another bubble and popped it. “Betcha think my name’s gonna be, like, totes dumb.”

“Naturally! Cease your vapid rambling and just say it so we can reject it and move on! We don’t need this whole spiel from a CRETIN with a MEDIOCRE quirk!” By now Intelli was seething, Midnight giving a disapproving glare. Camie merely kept smiling, as if she’d completely ignored everything that was just hurled her way.

“Cap. This one’s fresh as hell.”

Intelli opened her mouth, but was silenced with a withering look by Midnight. “We’ll talk after class, Intelli.”

The monocled girl looked shocked. “W-what for? This is ridiculous, Bakugou’s also been-”

“Shut it, extra. Just cause you got a big head doesn't mean it ain’t full of shit.” the explosive blonde replied. Midnight rolled her eyes. “Bakugou has mostly just… given his own names praise and mocked others. What you said borders on quirkism and was frankly uncalled for. ”

“She’s just pissed ‘cuz she did crap in the sports fest” Bakugou helpfully added.

Nobody spoke after, and Midnight gestured back to Camie. “Neato. Right, so I had like a bajillion names that were moldy as hell, and I rally needed a glow-up. Something totally leet. So I lowkey kinda had a brainwave and this one’s epic for real.” She turned the board around.

MIRAGE HERO: L33TSTROKE

“Pretty bussin’, huh?” She looked right at Intelli, who had a vein bulging from her temple. “It’s…” the bluenette struggled with her words for a moment, before slumping with a defeated sigh. “Frustrating as it is to admit, it’s… good. It still contains mirages with a reference to how deserts cause them whilst also using wordplay to integrate your… choice vernacular.”

Camie gave her a lazy grin. “Aww, thanks cutie! I knew you were totes, like, vibing with me.” The bluenette scrunched up her face, blushing deeply and hiding her head in her hands. Whether it was out of frustration or something else, nobody can speculate. Except Camie, who did.

“She likes my bimbo rizz.” the blonde drawled. Intelli groaned, and Midnight snorted. “So you’re finna approve it, right teach?”

“It’s a decent name and I’m glad you guided us through its interactions. Approved!”

“W.” With that, Camie sauntered back to her desk, giving Intelli another wink. Ashido leaned back to Hagakure “We’re totally getting them together, right?” 

“...”

“Right?”

“I was nodding.”

Bakugou made to stand up from his desk, grabbing his board. “Alright, I’ve got another fuckin’ name.” Midnight totally ignored him. Shiozaki raised a vine, and Midnight pointed at her instead. “Shiozaki! Let’s see what you got! I’m sure with all those vines you can use your imagination to lead to some… interesting conclusions.” Shiozaki, unperturbed, regally strode to the front again. Turning her board sideways, she displayed her new name: BLESSED HERO: EDEN.

“Naturally, this one is a reference to the biblical garden of Eden, the paradise from which mankind originated in God’s image. Additionally, upon prayer and reflection I came to understand that the epithet of ‘Holy Hero’ may come across as potentially pompous and insensitive, and I have changed it so that I am merely a hero blessed by God’s knowledge.”

Mei raised a hand. “Y’know, if you dropped the religion thing you could have a way cooler name! And your costume is super impractical! You know how hard it is to get babies into a Toga?”

“Not very!” Toga piped up, flashing a winning smile sideways at…

Wait! She’s looking at me! Midoriya ducked down, blushing furiously. Ibara was less amused. “TOGA-SAN! Such Debauchaery!”

“I agree!” Iida pitched in. “Lewd and lecherous statements are not appropriate hero conduct!”

“Fun police at it again” Jirou quipped. “Whee-ooh.”

“Do you have a license for being funny and hilarious?” Kaminari joined in.

“Is that something you need a license for?” Todoroki asked.

Kodai mm ed. “If you refuse inspection I can and will use the service stick stuck up my ass”.

Todoroki stared at Shiozaki with an increasingly uncomfortable expression. “Shiozaki-san, are you able to make more than vines?”

Fuming, veritable smoke erupting from her ears, Shiozaki dragged her head back towards Midnight. Todoroki seemed thoughtful at the lack of an answer. “Is that name heroic enough for you, temptress?”

“Oh?” Midnight raised an eyebrow. “And here I thought you were above it all, Ibara … do I tempt you~?” Ibara faced her with a dead-eyed stare and stormed back to her table. “Approved!” Midnight called out after her.

Kendo frowned at her board. “Hey, Kayama-sensei, does ‘Battle Fist’ count as a too-simple name?” Midnight sighed. “Yes. It’s too dull and unimaginative, and not to mention quite similar to your quirk’s name, ‘Big Fist’. Try asking your peers for help if you can’t think of anything.” 

Kodai raised a hand “I’m a fan of big fist-” “KODAI-SAN!” Shiozaki roared. Midnight crossed her arms, surveying the room, muttering “ Kids these days…” 

Yanagi stood up. “Kayama-sensei, I have a name.” Holding her board under her hands, raised in an odd fashion, she lurked over to the front. “I’ve been told I have a spectral demeanour and appearance, and my quirk is telekinesis. Thus, I can only conclude that the suitable name for myself is the GRABBY HERO: POLTERGEIST”.

Kodai raised a hand. “What about the handsy her-” Shiozaki’s vines wrapped around her mouth from behind, silencing her.

Midnight tutted. “Using your quirk name is not unheard of, but ideally you’d want something unique.” Yanagi turned to face her teacher fully. “Can you think of a better name?” Midnight stroked her chin, considering her options.

Meanwhile, Kendo scooched her seat back, turning to face Midoriya. “Hey, Midoriya, you’re good with quirks right? What kind of name should I go for? My quirk is a bit basic, after all… I can just grow my hands big. What can I do with that?”

Midoriya looked practically outraged. “Don’t say that! You’re incredible, Kendo-san! You’re like a big sister to the whole class! You saved my life at the USJ, AND you helped me figure out Full Cowling, AND you carried your battle trial while Shiozaki-san carried me during mine! Plus, your quirk is incredibly versatile! You can use it to carry lots of medical supplies or act as an impromptu stretcher for injured civilians, and the way you just enlarged one finger to get such a high score on the grip strength test! You have so much potential, and your martial arts skills are probably the best in the class! You could use your quirk for more brutal takedowns too, like if you stuck your hand inside a wound or someone’s mouth and expanded it to-”

Kendo blushed. “WOW, WOAH, t-thanks Midoriya, but I do NOT need that image in my head… yuck.” Midoriya at least had the good decency to retreat inwards a bit at that. “S-sorry Kendo. But you shouldn’t put your quirk down like that! Quirks are incredible, all of them! You should be happy you have a quirk at all!”

She frowned, analyzing him in silence. Midoriya grew a bit more uncomfortable. Is this how it feels when I’m analyzing someone else..? Finally, he broke under the pressure. “W-what is it, Kendo-san?”

She gave him an accusatory look. “That’s what you said to Todoroki during the battle trials.” Midoriya paled. She… she-no way. How did she hear, over everything happening? Everyone was seated too far away to even hear clearly over the crowd during a match without explosions and ice cracking… hearing. Shouji or Jirou. But how could… Jirou. Her jacks .” He leveled her with an accusatory look right back. “You listened in during our match through Jirou using a speaker or something that was probably made by Yaoyorozu-san.”

Kendo nodded. “You don’t let anything slip by you, huh Midoriya? We won’t spread any gossip or anything, but we were curious what you wanted to say to Todoroki. We’re… all just glad you got through to him in the end.”

He looked mollified by that. “Fine. Not a word to him or to anyone else about this. Jirou, I know you’re listening. Try not to do this again, ok?” The punk ravenette sheepishly nodded at him from across the room. He turned back to her. “How would you describe her fighting style?”

She considered the question for a moment. “I tend to use a lot of mixed martial arts, top-heavy of course… and with my quirk… A rapid offense and an impenetrable, unbreakable defense.”

He scribbled down some more in his notebook. She peered over, the greenette unaware, to see it as quite dense and somewhat messy with scribbly and frantic handwriting, as well as a… flattering sketch of her. My costume doesn’t show THAT much leg, right…?

She was shaken out of her thoughts by Midoriya tapping his pen down, determined eyes rising to face hers. “I think you should focus on the unbreakable defense part. Here’s an idea…”momo

Sharing his idea, the two were suddenly distracted by Midnight and Yanagi finishing their debate, Midnight appearing to check her hair to see if those grey hairs were hers or Yanagi’s. “Fine. Poltergeist it is. At least I convinced you to change the epithet.”

Yanagi turned to the class. “SPECTRAL HERO: POLTERGEIST.” Her eyes drifted to Shiozaki and Kodai. “Shiozaki-san, you should probably release her.”

“Why should I?” the vine-haired girl impetuously replied. “This is the only containment I’ve thus far devised for her outpouring of sin.”

“Because she’s blushing and looks like she’s probably gonna have an outpouring in her pants.”

“ Mmmm .”

Shiozaki ripped her Vines back at lightning speed, inspecting them before promptly tearing them off and growing new ones. Kodai chuckled, giving Yanagi a thumbs up. “Don’t worry, Ibara-san. I’m not THAT kinky… you’d have to tie me up for longer.” Oddly enough, that last comment didn’t assuage Shiozaki’s disgust.

Kendo stood up. “Midnight-sensei! I’ve got a new name!” Beckoned up by the teacher, she proudly turned her board to the class. “Call me the BATTLE HERO: PHALANX!”

Momo clapped her hands. “Oh! The mass infantry formation from ancient warfare! I didn’t know you were an enthusiast too! It’s such a clever reference, referencing mass infantry in a quirk that changes the mass in your hands! Do you want to study ancient history together sometime?”

Kendo gave an awkward smile. “Heh, well, uh, what can I say? Love the stuff. I…” She gave the sunshine girl in front of her a look. The heiress was practically bouncing on her chair, beaming up at her. How could anyone refuse that smile? She relented. Guess I’m gonna be doing a lot of extra studying to not look like a fool. “Of course, Momo! I’d be happy to!” Midoriya, as well as Shinsou and Monoma who’d been listening the whole time, leveled her with identical deadpan looks. Kendo’s wobbly facade shattered with the ravenette heiress’ next question: “What’s your favourite army formation from the Iron Age?”

Taking pity on the poor girl, Midnight piped up. “While you’re at it, Yaoyorozu! What have you decided on?”

Her face turned red. Shuffling up to the front, the girl ducked her head in shame and turned her board around. EVERYTHING HERO: CREATI. “I’m aware it’s not the most… imaginative name out there. I-I hadn’t volunteered because I had a hard time conceptualizing a better name. I also experimented with variations based on the concepts of pre-quirk philosopher Hilbert’s grand hotel or hammerspace, but I felt they were too narrow for so broad of a quirk.”

Midnight smacked her lips. “Yeah, that can be an issue sometimes. Truth be told, names that are broad but still snappy can be quite effective - my own, Midnight, isn’t strictly related to my quirk except the fact that people tend to be asleep by Midnight. I chose it because, well, it sounded cool. It was between that and ‘Knockout’ - though I know I am a knockout.” She turned to the class. “Any thoughts from the peanut gallery?”

Honenuki raised a hand. “Personally, I think it sounds fine. I mean, your quirk is quite broad as you said, so compared to a hero with an offensive-based quirk naming themselves as ‘Blast’ or something, it should work.”

Bakugou’s whiteboard marker snapped from the force of his grip, little explosions popping in his hands. Wordlessly, Midnight lifted a bin as Yanagi’s telltale pink aura gripped anther and sent it his way, bouncing off his head, Jirou whispering a coconut sound to Manami. Sending the pair a dirty look, he began to violently scribble out what he wrote.

Hagaure raised a sleeve. “I love you, Yaomomo, but wouldn’t the title ‘Everything’ hero sound a bit… y’know, like bragging? You can make loads, but I dunno if you can make everything .”

“ She can’t make Jirou confess to her. ” Mina cheekily whispered to Shinsou, leaning back in her seat and placing an arm on his desk. “HEY!” the girl in question yelled, freezing and ducking her head in embarrassment as every head in the room whipped towards her outburst. Shinsou took the opportunity to push Mina’s arms off his desk, the pink girl almost in tears at the villainous betrayal. 

“Oh, that’s rather nice of you to stand up for me like that, Jirou-san” the heiress began, misinterpreting her intercession, “But Hagakure-san is correct. I can’t make everything .”

“I need a QDE Socket Wrench custom sized at five sevenths of an inch” Hatsume interjected, and Momo popped one out. “That’s rather a strange measurement, Hatsume-san. It doesn’t exist in the market, so I had to envision it and modify an existing variant. I believe the handle isn’t properly scaled with the custom size of the wrench but is in fact based on the nine-sixteenths inch model instead.”

“Thanks, 3-D printer!” The inventor proceeded to whip out an extensively-modified extendo-arm gripper toy, pointing it at Yaoyorozu and sending it her way, with Kouda, Kodai, Shoda, Shouji, and Yanagi all ducking under it as it crossed half the classroom diagonally.

“Oh, by the way, Gas-sensei! My name’s gonna be Baby-Maker!”

Midnight looked at her, nonplussed. “I thought that might be an issue, so I took the opportunity to brainstorm one for you. How about the TINKERING HERO: SPROCKET?”

“Sure, whatever!” she laughed, turning back to her desk as the abomination hand receded, depositing her socket wrench into her gloved palms. “Naming babies is way easier anyways!”

“I would like to volunteer next, Kayama-sensei.” Honenuki stated, standing from his seat. “I’ve been deliberating and just decided on a name.”

At the podium, he turned his board about-face. “I’d consider myself a pretty regular, down-to-earth guy. That’s not a quirk pun. The issue with it is that everyone sees the potential in my quirk, how ‘heroic’ it can be… until they see my face. My teeth. Even I accepted the way people saw me, and hid my mouth with my hero costume. I’m glad I was convinced out of that.“

He took a breath. “Truth be told, I kinda wish I could at least live up to how people see my face. They expect some kind of… madman, or a stern and stone-cold guy. I’m not sure.” He turned to face the left side of the class.”Truth be told, I’m jealous of you two, Shouji-kun, Toga-san. People have given you flak for your teeth as well, right?” 

Wordlessly, Toga nodded as Shouji pulled down his mask to reveal a glimpse of his scars. Honenuki continued. “I’m not super intimidating, and I don’t try to be. I just wanna live up to who I am, not what I look like. Call me what I am: SOFTY HERO: MUDMAN”.

The class politely clapped. Sero leaned to his right, poking Ibara. “We should do a speech tier list or something after this is all over.” She didn’t look amused, so he draped himself over Monoma’s desk to repeat it to Kaminari, who seemed to find it more funny.

“Speaking of people being assholes about quirks…” Shinsou began, Sero miming someone making an impassioned speech to millions, “Sports fest was lovely. It’s great to get booed for using your quirk like everyone else and have to be bailed out by the announcers. Good stuff.”

Pony and Kaminari cringed at the memory. The lilac-haired boy kept drawling. “I’m glad none of you are dumb enough to spout that kind of shit in this course, but I know some of you still have your… reservations .” He spat the last word out like it was poisonous. Bakugou rolled his eyes as Kirishima, Hagakure, and Iida sweatdropped. 

“To be honest, I don’t have a big speech planned or anything. I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I know I want to be a great hero and I’m not gonna shy away from my quirk to do it. HIJACKING HERO: MESMER”.

“Cool speech, mindfuck. Catch any flies?” Bakugou insulted. Shinsou looked unimpressed. “Catch any place higher than three?” As third place started incoherently screaming, Shinsou grabbed his mind’s tether. “Turn your board around and show us what you wrote.” Mechanically, Bakugou complied. 

Midoriya looked at the heavily dirtied and smudged board. I can barely read it… Oh. Oh no. Why, Kaach-Bakugou? Why are you either incredible or terrible at everything?

Komori said what they were all thinking. “Did he seriously write ‘Ultra Explosion God Murderfire?, shroom?”

“This used to be funny but now it’s kinda just… sad.” Tsubaraba answered.

“ [It reminds me of when my old dog Sparks was getting too old to live comfortably and had to be put down…] ” Kouda signed, a profoundly sad expression on his rock-like face.

Shinsou let his hold go just as Mina was trying to convince Tsuyu to balance a pen on his nose, the blonde glaring murderously at the rest of the class as he hunched over his board and got back to brainstorming.

Sero turned to Koda. “Hey, uh… dog story aside, what’s your name idea?” The shy boy played with his hands for a bit. He began to sign, Kendo translating for him. “ [I’m a bit shy… I’ll go first if you do.]” Sero gave a good-natured laugh. “Sure, man! Up high! He offered his palm to Koda, who slowly extended his own to meet it. They basked in the awkward atmosphere for a few seconds before Sero ran up to the front, grabbing his board.

“TAPE HERO: CELLOPHANE! Eh? Eh?”

“It’s a bit basic as well, but there aren’t all too many tape-based names you could feasibly go with.” Midnight commented, raising a finger. “But Tape Hero is a little basic for an epithet. Maybe spice it up a bit!” Sero groaned. “This is so hard! What do I go with now?”

Kodai raised a hand. “Har har. I’m not gonna be the sticky hero, Kodai-san.” She lowered her hand.

“I use industrial tape pretty often for DIY stuff.” Uraraka offered. “Maybe something to do with that?”

“DIY?” Yaoyorozu mused.

Kodai raised her hand. “I’m not gonna be the bondage hero either.” She lowered her hand.

“Y’know, Do-It-Yourself? Making things to save money.” Yaoyorozu gasped. “Oh, how cute! Could I do it with you sometime? It sounds fun!” Uraraka’s eye twitched. “It’s more of a… chore.” she muttered.

“I getcha, Occhan!” Toga chirped, leaning back in her chair and blocking Uraraka’s eyesight of the now-daydreaming heiress. “I never got to make up my room how I liked it cuz-uh, ‘cuz my parents weren’t fans, but eventually they changed their minds, and I’m super-used to it! Replacing broken doors and tables and stuff gets tedious after a while, right?”

Kodai raised her hand. “Or the swinger hero.” She lowered her hand.

“You… kept breaking your doors and tables?” Ochako asked, voice laden with suspicion. Toga scoffed, amused. “Well it wasn’t me .” Baffled, Ochako just decided to turn back towards the front. 

Kodai raised her hand. Sero threw his hands in the air in expasperation “I give up. What did you think of this time?” She gave him a blank look. “I just wanted to see if you’d come up with another.”

Midoriya snapped his head to Sero. “What about the ‘Fixer-Upper Hero?” Sero stroked his chin, staring out the window. “Hmm… sounds good! And heroes fix bad situations and save people so it works in two ways!”

Intelli raised a hand. “Fixing something up can also mean to set up a plan or event, much like your battle style incorporates the setting of traps, so it can be said to work in three ways.”

Kodai raised her hand. “The three-way hero.” Sero didn’t even acknowledge her, instead turning to Koda and pointing at him in a somewhat overdramatic way as Midnight reluctantly approved ‘Tape Hero’. The shy boy stood up, shuffling to the front of the classroom and began to write on his whiteboard. He turned it around, holding it high as his hands weren’t free to sign. PETTING HERO: ANIMA.

Midnight clicked her tongue and began signing to Koda, who smiled in return. “[ It suffers from being a bit too basic, sorry. The epithet could use some work too, ‘Petting Hero’ doesn’t evoke the cuteness you’e likely trying to convey nor sounds heroic.]”

Mina jumped in her chair, excitedly waving her arms about. “Ooh! Ooh! I have an idea! Koji, you should be called Doolittle!” Aoyama tapped her shoulder. “[Madame] Midnight did prevent you from using [depasse] movie references in your name too, non?” Mina shriveled up a little. “Y’all are boring! Old movies are really good, right Toru?”

Hagakure leaned over to the duo. “Right! Also, what about Zoolander? Y’know, it’s got zoo in it!”

“[Pas vous deux…]” Aoyama sadly shook his head.

Mawata raised a hand. “Hey, uh, what about ‘Ringmaster’? Like from a circus. Sounds cool, I think, and they were the ones watching the animals right?”

“[That sounds like a guy with a whip! I would never!!!]” Koda responded, looking almost offended at the suggestion. Mawata hissed through her teeth, the normally laid-back girl straightening her posture a bit and threading her hand through her pink locks. “Oh… sorry Koda-kun.” He shooks his hands nervously, a little embarrassed, but paused when he saw Shinsou’s raised hand, and pointed at it questioningly.

“This was one of my earlier ideas for a name, but what about Siren? Since your voice can control animals and all.”

“That’s a super great name!” Kirishima cheered. “Sounds deadly and dangerous, even though you’re a total sweety-bro!”

Koda looked hesitant, turning to midnight with an unsure twist of his mouth. “ [I think it works quite a bit better, but the choice is up to you.] ” she signed. He gave her a thumbs up, and signed back. “ [Can I move the Anima part into the epithet and be the animal hero?] ” She nodded.

“Great!” She yelled, gaining everyone’s attention once again. “ANIMAL HERO: SIREN! APPROVED!”

As Koda walked back to his chair, Mawata turned around in her seat. “I’ve got one! I’ve got an idea, guys!” Releasing a puff of pink smoke behind a podium, she disappeared with a POOF!, teleporting to the front of the room and rising with a dramatic air. “Kendo based her name off of her fighting style or something, which is kinda what I’m doing, but not really! See, when militaries can’t tell what each other are doing and who’s where, they call it THIS! Call me the BREATHTAKING HERO: FOG OF WAR! I’m could be everywhere, and they can’t tell what I’m gonna do next!” She leaned over the podium, crossing her arms. “So, what’s the verdict, Midnight-sensei?”

“No notes!” Midnight replied. “Approved, done and done!” Yaoyorozu raised a hand, and Midnight pointed at her. The ravenette turned to Mawata, still at the podium, with a curious glint in her eye. “I wasn’t aware you appreciated military history too, Mawata-kun.” Mawata shrugged, as best she could still draped over the podium anyhow. “Nah, nothing like that. Just a fan of RTS games. Represent.”

Mei cupped her hands around her mouth. “Boo! Dead genre, boo!”

“The genre is one that satisfies the darker desires of my inner demons. Hold your tongue.”

“The shadowed boundary between this life and the afterlife, it has not yet transcended.”

“A genre haunted by itself though it may be, nonetheless graces the living world.”

Yanagi, Tokoyami, and Kuroiro, the Class 1’s three self-proclaimed resident goths - everyone else proclaimedA them the resident edgelords - all glanced towards each other.

“Yeah, that tracks.” Tokage quipped.

“Sometimes I feel like we’re all living in a cartoon world.” Shouji dryly supplied. “That’s my cue!” Manga jumped from his seat, jogging to the front of the room. “If you think about it, all of this hero stuff is really weird, like stuff from a shounen manga, right?”

“No.” Shoda disagreed. “Shounen manga have wild stuff like magic and demons and all that. UI guess there’s manga made about actual heroes and stuff, but it’s usually for kids or biographical.”

“Not important!” The boy’s speech bubble wobbled as it spoke. “Point is, isn’t our hero school a bit like a shounen manga? We gotta fight to overcome the next big hurdle, and the whole point is to become stronger and stronger, right? We even kinda have a nemesis, with the League of Villains, right? So why not own it? If life is gonna be a shounen, and my face is a speech bubble, then call me the INKWELL HERO: SHOUNEN!” 

Receiving the “Approved!” call from Midnight, he jogged back to his desk. Midnight scanned the left side of the classroom, checking for who she hadn’t called on yet. Hagakure waved her arms about. “Hey Kayama-Sensei! You missed me!”

“Oh, uh, sorry Hagakure, I didn’t mean to-” Midnight began to stutter out, embarrassed at her own oversight, before the invisible girl cut in.

“Nah, it’s all fine! Invisibility, amiright? Nuts, can’t blame you for it! All good!” she chirped, skipping up to the front, her board floating beside her. “It’s a bit simple but it’s to the point! Bam! SNEAKY HERO: INVISIBLE GIRL!” Midnight raised a brow. “That seems a little… low effort. Your name is just a description of yourself?”

“Isn’t that the point?”

“Not entirely. Your hero name should evoke a persona, stir emotion. Invisible girl is… flat.”

“Mm, not true.” Kodai complimented.

“Somebody needs to put a leash on Kodai.” Jirou snarked. Every head in the class turned to look at her. “What? I-fuck, NOT LIKE THAT!”

“I agree it’s a bland name though” Kendo piutched ih, helpfully diverting attention. “It would be like calling me Redhead” Others around the classroom nodded in agreement.

“Or naming myself bird” Tokoyami added.

“Or calling Manami-kun short.” Todoroki supplied. “HEY!” the diminutive redhead yelled, whipping around in her seat. “YOU SHUT IT!” Todoroki looked befuddled. “Am I wrong? I was just making an observation. You are short. Like Josei-kun is tall.”

“Don’t I know it.” Jirou joined. “Can’t see the board half the time.” Yanagi nodded in agreement. The teal-furred girl in front of her shrunk into herself.

“U-um…” Midoriya spoke up. “Perhaps you shouldn’t be so… forward, about it is all, Todoroki-kun. It’s not always kind to be blunt like that.”

“She is, like, two of you tall though, dude.” Mawata called from across the room. “And you’re like two Manami-sans stacked on top of each other.”

“Can we just get to the name?” Manami asked, voice quiet. Josei glanced back at her with sympathy, and Manami met it with one of her own - albeit with great difficulty and a crick in the neck.

“How about Invisibi-belle?” Midiroya suggested. Mina slammed her hands on his desk, gob wide open. “MIDORIYA! You sly dog!”

Aoyama sparkled. “ [Belle] , beautiful in my [langue maternelle] ? Midoriya, [ mon amie] , you shine so brightly for others!”

I WASN’T THINKING!!!! Midoriya’s entire face went red, hands flailing wildly. “W-w-w-wait! That’s not what I meant! I didn’t, um, that wasn’t - I misspoke! I didn’t-”

“Yeah, lighten up guys!” Hagakure chirped. “He meant like, as a joke name! It’s ironic, y’know, cuz you can’t see me! It’s like Komori-san’s name!”

Midoriya frowned. “Wait, I didn’t-” She cut him off. “I’m going with that then! SNEAKY HERO: INVISI-BELLE! Is that alright, Midnight-sensei?” Midnight replied with an unseasy thumbs up.

Kamakiri raised a bladed arm. “Can I fuckin’ go yet?” Not waiting for an answer, he stomped up to the front, crossing his arms and sparing Bakugou and Monoma a glare. “Name’s the BLADED HERO: JACK MANTIS.”

His teacher pursed her lips, the statuesque lady looking thoughtful. “It’s a solid name, catchy, sounds nice on the tongue… why Jack specifically?”

Toga raised a hand, Midnight gave her an unimpressed look, and the blonde glanced at her hand to see she’d forgotten to stash away her special knife. Slipping it into her sleeve, she continued. “Ooh! Like Jack the Ripper, the famous pre-quirk British serial killer? That’s super-cute, Kamakiri-kun!”

Kamakiri blushed. “I, uh, just thought it sounded cool.”

“It does indeed sound cool” Iida pitched in, “Though I’m concerned with the ethics and optics of naming oneself after a serial killing villain.”

“Technically he wouldn’t have been a villain due to not having a quirk,” Intelli retorted, “Though the criminality of the name still makes it somewhat dubious” Iida and Kamakiri both gave her a look of exasperation.

“I just made it up to sound cool.” Kamakiri grumbled. “Let’s see you do better.”

“And sound cool it does!” Midnight exclaimed. “Approved, since the reference wasn’t on purpose! Intelli, would you like to do the honours of being next?”

The pale-haired girl took a sip from her thermos and gracefully strode up to the podium, flipping her board around. “I am going to be a hero who takes pride in her intelligence and her knowledge, who sets a higher standard and manages every asset to its full potential to mete our justice in the most effective way. Derived from the 18th-century class of nobles who did much the same, a cut above the rest… TEA HERO: INTELLIGENTSIA.”

“Oh, fuck’s sake!” Bakugou groaned. “More bragging from an extra who couldn’t cut in every fight she’s had so far? Don’t make me laugh, monocle!”

“I hate to agree with Bakugou” began Monoma, “but that kind of boasting will merely serve to lower our reputation amongst the other classes.”

“Both of you, quiet.” Midnight shushed. “It’s a fine name, Inelli. Approved.”

Intelli clenched her fists tightly, hands resting at her sides, fingers digging into her palms. Her monocle cracked as she shook in fury. “Shut up.”

“What?” Midnight blanched. Intelli shot her a frustrated glare. “Not you.” Through gritted teeth, she mumbled to herself as she trudged back to her seat. “ Stupid powfu’ quirk usahs. Fuckin’ bastards. Can’t d’ anythin’. Ah’ll show em’. Ah’ll make it as a hero, ah’ll sh’m all. One fuckin’ offer. Who’d wan’ m’…”

Jirou blinked in confusion. ‘She’s from Kansai? Never would’ve thought… Cute voice though. Pity she’s a douche.’

“Hey teach? Mind if I go next? Tension’s made the air thicker than I can!” Tsubaraba joked. Several others groaning. Given the go ahead, he squeezed past his neighbors and made his way to the front. “Alright! So my quirk’s solid air, and it lets me do all sorts of stuff! But mainly it’s super useful for trapping people and making blocks to run across and all that! So! Call me the BREATHTAKING HERO: BORDERLINE! I shape the battlefield as I want!”

“I already took Breathtaking ya dolt” Mawata voiced, Tsubaraba instantly deflating. “Oh.”

“What about the Air Conditioning hero?” Shouji mused. “Because you condition air, and… nevermind.”

Bondo sniffed. “That’s pretty good! 

“That’s a Bakugou-type name.” Setsuna dryly corrected from the back. “Do you wanna call yourself the ‘Asphyxiation Hero: King Ventilation God’ or something?”

“Air Prison Hero?” Iida suggested “Is is succinct and direct, after all.” Midoriya shook his head. “There’s already a hero in Hosu named that. I’m pretty sure he works for your brother, right?”

“I… admit I wouldn’t know. My brother’s agency has quite a lot of sidekicks.”

“Barrier Hero, Kero.” Tusyu ribbited. Tsubaraba slid up from his slump on the podium. “Huh, yeah… that works! Midnight-sensei?”

“Approved! BARRIER HERO: BORDERLINE it is!”

“Kayama-sensei? May I present my name next?” Iida asked, chopping calmly. With an affirmative nod received, he strode up to the front, towering above all but Shouji and Josei. “My brother’s hero name, Ingenium, is typically passed through our family due to our shared agency and similar quirks. Seeing as my brother is still performing heroics for the foreseeable future, and currently in his prime, I shall have to endeavour to choose a new name!” Todoroki frowned, Midoriya glancing at him. “I was inspired by Hatsume-san, who noted that my quirk makes me especially adept at flying kicks. Thus, call me the ENGINE HERO: TURBOJET!” He punctuated the last exclamation with a proud smile and a strong chop.

“Excellent name, Iida. Approved. Aiba, would you like to go next?” Midnight offered, turning to the diminutive redhead. She nodded slowly, clambering off of her chair and making her way up, the top of her head barely peeking past the desktops. Jirou, her neighbor, covertly held in a snigger at the sight.

She walked up to the podium, staring up at it - nearly a head taller than her - before just walking in front of it instead. Midnight balked, and began glancing around for a chair or something. “Would you like me to make a stepstool or something, Aiba-san?” Yaoyorozu offered kindly, but Manami just looked annoyed. “No thanks.”

“I can sense resentment buried within her black soul. A release of frustrations is upon us.” Kuroiro commented, drawing some confused looks. “He means she’s gonna have a speech, shroom.” Komori translated. Ohs and Ahs reverberated around the two.

“Hero names are a bit of a… sore topic for me.” Manami began. “When my quirk came in at four, everyone called it useless. When I wanted to play heroes vs. villains, I was always the civilian. No use for a quirk that can only give your mom and dad more energy, right?” She glared at Jirou. “Then my growing slowed down, and before I knew it I was half the height of the average person.” She switched her tired glare to Mawata. “Half a deku and quarter a Josei, right? And when we got older and high school came and everyone began to care about romantic love… I started getting suggestions. ‘ Peeper Hero: Love Bite.’ ‘Pervert Hero: Homewrecker’. ‘Gold Digger Hero: Short Fuse.’And I… I fall in love hard , and fast. If I need to love someone to use my quirk as a hero, to use my quirk at all, who’s gonna trust me when I say I actually love them? And who wants the dumb short kid with racoon eyes who can’t even climb the damn toilet ?!” She took a breath, voice shaking and eyes forced shut, Mawata and Jirou looking away uncomfortably.

“But then, I came across someone wonderful online, and he inspired me to try again… to be brave and stand up to what the world told me, that no matter what happens, that even if I fail the entrance exam or can’t cut it or come last, that I can make something of myself!” “A-and then I got in! I actually got in, me! S-so I’m gonna keep being brave, even with everything I can’t do and everything I am! If I fail here, I’ll find a new way! One way or another, the world will know the name of the LOVING HERO: LA BRAVA!” 

“Approved, it’s a beautiful name. I’m sorry we didn’t… make considerations about your height with the podium.” Midnight softly responded. “I don’t want your pity.” Manami scowled. “I can make a retractable compact stool thingy baby for you?” Mei offered. Manami looked at her for a second, before turning away and blushing. “I’ll think about it.” Mei grinned broadly, already sketching away in her book. “Yes enough for me!”

Nobody else spoke, uncomfortable again. Jirou and Mawata’s eyes met, and looked at Manami as she walked back to her desk and struggled to climb into her seat again. Midoriya watched. ‘They both look like they want to apologize, but… after what she said about pity, it wouldn’t be a great idea, would it?’

“H-hey Manami-chan?” Ippan Josei softly smiled down back  at the redhead. Reaching a long arm over, she offered the small girl a fist. “Y-you were r-really brave up there… you’re amazing, you know that? I’m t-tall and strong and I still have problems here, but you’ve made it so far even with everything else weighing you down… Height buddies?”

Manami gave her a tired, tender smile, and met the offered fist with a soft bump. “...Height buddies.”

“Yeah!” Toga exclaimed from behind her. “It’s not your fault nobody understands your love!”

“Or if your quirk makes you look fucked.” Kamakiri added.

The redhead sniffed. “Thanks guys…” she almost whispered. “Ippan-chan, do you wanna go next?” Her teal classmate gave a hesitant nod and  stood up straight, her full posture towering over the rest of her classmates, eleven metres of fox-shark heteromorph. Stepping around tables, she made her way to the podium. It barely reached her knees.

“My…My-My name is Ippan Josei. That’s what my parents named me… ‘Ippan Josei’... it means ‘ordinary woman’. My parents wanted an ordinary child. I… came out wrong.”

At that, everyone’s hearts shattered. Here was the gentle giant of Hero Class 1, towering beauty with the sweetest soul, and her parents… disliked her? Hated her? Were disgusted? Mina and Tsuyu scowled. They’d been warned of the CRC. Koda and Bondo looked at her with sympathy. Manga and Shouji shared a glance, though it was hard to tell with Manga. Kamakiri growled. Tokoyami gritted his teeth. Every heteromorph in the class had some level of understanding for her situation. Shinsou scowled at nobody in particular, and a particularly furious and bloodthirsty look crossed Toga’s face. Jirou flinched as she heard the sound of a knife being sharpened. The teal fox girl continued.

“I don’t fit in. Literally, I can’t fit in. I was as tall as my mom when I was seven and as tall as my dad by ten. I didn’t fit in my house by twelve. They put me in the yard. After that, they… they decided foster care was better for me. They didn’t want a ‘mutant’. They wanted someone ‘normal’ .” Determination flashed across her features as she kept going, incensed by the supportive looks everyone was giving her. Empathy from Toga and Shouji. Understanding from Midoriya and Shinsou. “But I AM normal! It’s-it’s normal to be this tall, and I’m going to show them all! I’m an ordinary, friendly girl, and I’m here to save the day!” She turned the board around clumsily, the thing fitting in her hand like a card. 

ORDINARY HERO: CHIMERA-CHAN

“It’s wonderful, Josei. Approved.” Midnight said softly, placing a hand on her back - she couldn’t comfortably reach her shoulder. “Seems like everyone’s got something to prove today.”

“Including me.” 

Toga marched up to the podium, Josei giving her a nervous smile as she carefully squeezed between the other tables back to her own. Toga faced them all with a steely glare, her usual blush gone and her eyes narrowed. 

“I’m not gonna go into all that detail, because you’d all hate me if I did.” She began, unconsciously glancing at Setsuna who gave her a quizzical look. “My quirk is weird and… my folks treated me bad. I dealt with it. I’m here now, and I’ve got all my super cute friends!” At that, some of her cheer returned. “Izu-kun. Occhan. Tsu-chan. Mezo-kun. Hito-kun. Koko-chan. Manami-chan. You’re all so special to me.” Her expression darkened again. “But I won’t ever forget my roots. My quirk is seen as scary even though I love it so much. I’ll make a world where I can live easily and happily, and everyone like me can as well. I won’t bend over and try to fit their mold. I’m not gonna try and act different so they don’t get scared and disgusted. They’re just gonna have to stop getting scared and disgusted.” She flipped the board over. Scrawled in red marker was her name, which she read aloud. “BLOODSUCKING HERO: LAMPREY.”

Amber eyes meticulously studying the room, Toga saw most of her fellow classmates cringe a little at the image the name conjured. Midnight stepped forward. “Lampreys are-”

“That’s a villain name.”

Midnight stopped talking. Attention landed on Monoma. Kamakiri seemed to be glaring at him with even more revulsion than usual. He scoffed. “It is! Haven’t you seen a Lamprey?”

“I mean, a poison dart frog can really hurt people too.” Tsuyu interjected. Koda began signing as well. “ [I don’t think there are villainous animals. We just dislike some more than others, but people are the same with quirks] ”. “Death Cap doesn’t exactly make me sound like a fungi, shroom” Kinoko spoke, one brown eye peeking out of her bangs to offer her friend a look of support. “But we can’t just say it sounds like a-”

Toga held a hand up. “It sounds like a villain name because I meant it to sound like a villain name.” Midnight gave her a curious look. “There are villains out there with nothing to say like Shigaraki, and there are villains out there with points… like Stain.” At that, Kaminari gave her a murderous glare. Kamakiri scoffed. “And there are heroes are f- …that don’t act heroic. Until we stop looking at stupid things like names and titles, I’m not gonna be able to live in an easier world with the people I love.” Finishing, she leveled a glare at Midnight, who studied her for a second. 

Surprisingly, Bakugou of all people piped up. “So, fuck with or fuck off?” Toga nodded again. He almost looked impressed. “It’s a controversial approach,” Midnight warned. Toga nodded. “That’s the point.” Her teacher’s face gave a lecherous smirk.

“ Well now, some passion ! I do love a bad girl. Fair enough, you’ve made your case. Official Midnight seal of approval!” Toga walked back to her seat, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Midoriya watched her sit down. 

Toga’s odd, and a bit scary, and she really likes to mess with me, but she’s so nice and friendly too… she saved us at the USJ. She saved our lives, I don’t want to think of her that way… but the points she made sounded like… Stain. She almost said fakes before she changed her wording. And what’s her issue with Setsuna? Everyone’s noticed it… 

“Wait, so can I use Alien Queen then?” Ashido said, standing up and placing her hands on her hips in mock outrage. “Why does she get the cool scary name and not me?”

“I thought you preferred Lady Venus?” Midnight challenged.

“...”

“...”

“...Phooey, you’re right.” Ashido sat back down.

Shoto stood up, walking to the podium next without a word. Turning to the front, he began. “I should begin with an apology for my actions at the USJ. When Midoriya originally told me, I was toying with your lives and wasting mine by putting in half my effort, I didn’t listen, and I lost because of it. The reasons I held back… I can’t go into detail in front of everyone, though I have my challengers to thank for listening to me.” He glanced over all of the third-rounders. “Shouji-kun. Komori-kun. Hatsume-kun. Monoma-kun. Iida-kun. Bakugou-kun. Uraraka-kun. Honenuki-kun. Shiozaki-kun. Tokoyami-kun. Josei-kun. Thank you for accompanying Midoriya in issuing your joint challenge, and for giving it your all. Komori-kun. Toga-kun. Ashido-kun. Midoriya-kun. I apologize for giving you subpar matches. What you all told me meant a lot, and I’ve decided to listen. Call me the DUAL HERO: FREEZER BURN.”

Midoriya almost had tears in his eyes, blushing and scratching the back of his head. Bakugou scoffed, in an almost approving way. “Tch. Finally got your dick out your ass, huh Icy-hot? Good. I want the first time we fight to be a challenge.” Midoriya gaped at that.

‘Was that… almost a compliment?’

“Hell yeah, Todoroki! And next time Imma beat YOU before you even get to blasty here! Better watch out - it’s not a huge jump from third to first, y’know!”

“Please don’t go all out again, Ashido-san.” Honenuki pleaded. “I don’t know if they cut the camera feed because of your clothes melting off your skin or your skin melting off you but I don’t need to see something like that for a while.” Iida and Shiozaki nodded in agreement, the fucking squares. 

Monoma huffed. “I’m just glad that we didn’t look weak in front of the rest of the school. Truly a glorious showing for class 1!” Komori leaned back towards Todoroki. “I’m sad you beat me this time, shroom, but I’ve figured out a new move since then. When we meet next, you’ll be in truffle .” She raised a finger and drag it across her neck. Todoroki looded unperturbed. “You’re going to slit my throat?” Komori looked taken aback. “W-no! I meant like, I’m gonna beat you! That’s what a line over a neck means, shroom!”

“Typically it’s a gesture evoking murder by neck slittage though.” Tokoyami added, unhelpfully.

“Well yeah but it also means beating someone, shroom! I just meant I’m gonna beat him so hard I’m gonna knock him out or something, y’know?”

“So you’re going to beat me unconscious and then slit my throat?” Todoroki mused. “Perhaps my theory about you being a serial murderer is true. Is that why you get along with Toga-kun?” Toga’s smile tightened. “Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy.”

“My quirk is not weather control.” Todoroki corrected, helpfully.

Shouji cut in, seeing the discussion devolve. “I’m just glad you’re embracing both aspects of your quirk now.” 

‘Who’s left, who’s left…’ Midoriya thought. ‘Oh… Kamniari! I wonder if he’s up to this… he did just get a shock with his Mom being crippled by Stain. Maybe this’ll be a good chance to see if he’s doing ok?’

“S-say, Kaminari-kun?” he began casually, “You’ve been a bit quieter than usual. Thinking of a hero name?”

The lightning blonde rubbed the back of his head. “Aah, yeah, nerves I guess! I’ve got a pretty good idea though!” He strolled up to the front. “It’s a pretty simple one, and I guess it half counts as a reference? Call me LIGHTNING HERO: SYSTEM SHOCK! Like the old game series but also like a shock to the system when the the villains see me show up, y’know?”

Iida stroked his chin. “System shock… isn’t that quite similar to your mother’s hero name, Shock Jockey?” Everyone froze at the mention of the boy’s mother. Honenuki leaned over. “DUDE.” he hissed through his skeletal teeth.

“It’s alright if you wanted to put off your hero name until a later date…” Midnight began, trying to contain the situation, but was beaten to it by Kaminari. “Nah, nah, don’t worry! I’m all fine! Yeah, it really sucks what happened to mom, but she’s a hero, y’know? And hey, at least she’s alive, right? She told me not to give up my dreams over this so I’m not gonna! And that-that starts with being a hero and beating villains like-y’know, and saving people with a smile and all that!” With that, he gave everyone a beaming smile, eyes closed, that looked suspiciously… plastic.

“He’s like me…” Toga mumbled under her breath. “...Wearing that mask…”

Unbeknownst to her, her mumbling was heard by one other. One of Setsuna’s ears, its absence on her head hidden by her messy viridian hair, had sheltered itself under her chair during her earlier rush through the room. ‘Masks… What are you hiding, Toga Himiko…? ’ Setsuna thought. ‘What’s your deal with Stain… and with me?’

“It’s better not to conceal the darkness in your heart, but to let it flow freely” Kuroiro offered, but Kaminari waved him off. “I know, man, thanks! But I’m all good! Hey, uh, Midoriya! Whatcha goin’ with?” and with that, he excused himself back to his desk.

‘Oh! O-oh, no! It’s my turn? Um, uh-’

Breaking out of his internal monologue, Midoriya shuffled up to the front, board pressed up against his chest. Heart thumping - ‘gah, I shouldn’t still be nervous!’ - he stood up in front of thirty-nine of his classmates. ‘Am I really ready, I… No! I beat Kaachan! I won the festival, and-and everyone else worked super hard too! I have friends now! It’s different!’

‘All Might. Uraraka-san. Iida-kun. Tsuyu-san. Todoroki-kun. Toga, Kendo, Shoda, Shinsou, and Yaoyorozu from the USJ. Komori, Josei, Honenuki, Hatsume, Monoma, and Tokoyami from the second round. Everyone who joined me in the final round to challenge Todoroki. They all believe in me! Now… I’ve just got to believe in me too! I may be scared, but I’ll face it…’

Midoriya stood behind the podium, giving everyone important to him a once-over to see their supportive smiles. Iida gave a determined grin, Uraraka two thumbs up. Toga flashed her fangs and beamed, eyes closed. Asui spoke volumes through the smile in her eyes. 

‘...with a smile!’

“This name… I really didn’t like it for a while… it used to be an insult, to try and shatter my hopes of being a hero. It used to mean… that I was useless, that I couldn’t do anything right. And through all of this, and after the sports festival… I don’t feel the same way that I used to! And… even before all that, someone helped me see it in a new light. Helped me understand that I could be a hero too, that this name doesn’t have to mean what others told me it meant! It made me so happy to hear you say that, Uraraka-san, that my nickname sounded like ‘you can do it!’, and it made me feel like I can!

Everyone’s supported me so much since I got here, so many people believe in me now! But… like Toga-san said, I don’t want to forget my roots! As-Tsu-chan, you told me you thought my power was-was like All Might’s. But I don’t want to be a hero like him - a monolith, standing tall, invincible. Since I was a kid, all I’ve ever wanted… was to be like everyone else…

But since I’ve met everyone here, I’ve come to understand that everyone else isn’t like everyone else. Everyone’s got their own struggles and problems and issues, but I-I think we can all work through it together! Because - maybe it sounds a bit dumb, but I think we’re all here because we hope we can do better, be better, hold each other up so we can all do our best!

I want to be a symbol of hope, that we can all believe not in one person but in each other! That anyone, even someone like me, can make a difference! My roots, as someone who had nobody, no hero to tell him he can do it… I want to be that hero for everyone else! That’s what I want my name to mean! That’s why I want to be called… the HOPEFUL HERO: DEKU!”

For a moment, silence. Then, Uraraka broke it. “That’s incredible, Deku-kun…” Iida nodded. “Truly a heroic attitude, Midoriya-kun!” Small compliments arose from the rest, Sero leaning back in his seat. “Man, all these speeches kinda make me embarrassed about my reason…” “Approved!” Midnight chirped from beside him. “What a vigorous and youthful spirit!”

Tears began to well up. ‘ You guys..!’ As he made his way back to his desk beside Monoma, Midoriya’s arm was grabbed by Tsuyu’s tongue and he was pulled over. She fixed him with a determined look.

“Good name, kero. You really want to be a hero who helps everyone, right?”

He nodded. “Yup! I know it sounds a bit arrogant, but-” She cut him off. “Then keep an eye on Kaminari-kun. I can tell something’s up with him, even if he’s good at hiding it. If my hunch is correct… I don’t want to think about what that means. And keep an eye on Toga. I don’t fully trust her. Something’s not… right, about her.”

Midoriya’s brow furrowed. “Toga’s our classmate. She’s… eccentric, sure, but she cares about us. She saved me at the USJ.” The words sounded empty, even to him. 

“We both know you don’t fully believe that, kero. Just… keep an eye out. I’m not saying she’s malicious, but… I’d like to know whatever’s up between her and Setsuna-san.”

She released him and he passed Bakugou on the way to his desk as the blonde strode confidently back up to the podium.  “Doesn’t it never end?” Pony mused, burning her face in her arms on her desk and poking Ibara in the vines with her long horns. “We’ll be here for hoooouuurrssssss …”

Bakugou sneered. “Shut it, extra. This one’s a good one.” He turned the board over, most of his fellow classmates averting their eyes. Mei seemed to think it would be safer to view this one in infrared.

EXPLOSION LORD HERO: MEGATON.

“Try ag-” Midnight dismissed, before double taking at the board. “Wait, what? Ok, that’s acceptable, approved.” And without another word she sauntered out and shut the door behind her as Aizawa slunk back out of his bright yellow caterpillar bag to face his forty problem children once more.

“ACCEPTABLE?!? FUCK YOU MEAN ACCEPTABLE?!? MY NAME’S THE BEST ONE!”

“Oh calm down , Kaachan, it’s over! The name’s good, sit down!”

“You think blasty’s gonna kill Midnight for rejecting all his names?”

“Not before I melt her for rejecting Alien Queen.”

“You’re all just sour grapes who can’t handle your first tries being turned down for embarrassing our class’s good name.”

“Shut up Monoma!”

“Shut up Monoma!”

“Shut up Monoma!”

“SHUT IT PRICK!”

“Shut up Monoma!”

“I’m gonna stab you for insulting Shouji-kun!~”

“Knife away, Toga.”

“Awww, call me Himi-chan!”

“I’m not calling you that, kero.”

“This is beneath me, I’m going to the bathroom.”

“You’re going to miss second period literature with Ishiyama-sensei!”

“In that case, I’ll join you Intelli-chan!”

“Hagakure-san!”

“Does anyone have a spare screw?”

“That’s not something people just have, Hatsume-san.”

“Here you go! Yanagi-san, could you pass that for me?”

“...I forgot about Yaoyorozu-san.”

“Kosei-dude, could you be mega epic and scooch over there for a hot sec so if Mei’s doohickey is not vibing you can, like, bust a cap on it for real?

“ Crimini. ”

“Hey, Bondo, wanna arm wrestle? I got pumped up seeing Kuro-bro and Toko-bro do it earlier!”

“Um… okay.”

“Can I watch?”

“KODAI!”

‘Yeah.’ Aizawa thought . ‘This class is going to be the death of me. That headache’s getting worse.’

“Revelry in the dark.”

The Seating Chart of Hero Class 1!