Chapter Text

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.

— Francis Bacon

After Taiki broke the news that my father supposedly already committed double suicide with his wife, I was…

I felt…

I felt nothing.

No — I felt…

Angry. Why must I feel such a... contradicting feeling if I wanted that in the first place?

After all that hard work — spending almost all my money from my part-time job and editing for the director. Was I angry because I didn’t do it myself? I wanted to [CENSORED] him doing the most unspeakable things — my revenge, such that I’ll [CENSORED] and will [REDACTED] him himself? God — am I evi— am I—

Heres how the whole thing started.

Around three days after the first debut of Tokyo Blade, some members of the Lalalai actors were invited to Seoul for an overseas photoshoot and a celebrity-influencer event Memcho invited us as guests through her connections.

Frankly speaking with you, even in my previous life, this was my first time going abroad outside of Japan, so it was definitely a new experience for me. It seems like it was the same for Ruby too. Seeing this, I wondered how young she was when she died. Realizing how that topic was a little too depressing for me, I ignored it for now. But somehow, maybe in some way, the question was never really answered even during the time when we were first reincarnated—

"Christ! Make sense!"

"What?" I turned my head quickly. I was stuck in a trance that I seemingly forget that Memcho was speaking to my sister and not me.

"Two, three four — hey, don't fucking hide your cards."

"Hah? You can clearly see it?!" Kana yelled.

"No! That one on your middle is not one card!"

"'Kay, okay okay—" Ruby said deflated, "Fine. Just fine! But I want to remind you that I will win this match. Look, three cards, I'm being real now. I don't think you have any blocks or plus-fours. I'm gonna—"

"Yes. We know! Lay down the next card and stop talking! Our flight will come here sooner than this match. Memcho, hurry up with the shuffling—"

"How about you do it, huh? Do I look like a messy person who just randomly mixes the cards and hopes it's random enough to satisfy everyone?"

After an arranged flight and a thumbs up from Miyako-sensei, we accepted it, after much nagging from Ruby that I’d join. Now, since I’ve joined, Miyako suggested doing the photoshoot in Korea instead of Japan since the Japanese photographer she hired was already there, and it would prevent further communication delays she’d already told the photographer that they’d do it there instead.

I had no idea why she wanted that photographer so badly, but after some research, I realized that they were a legendary photo editor/photographer, so I realized how much money Miyako pulled for them. I wanted to respect Miyako’s wishes, so naturally, I just rolled with it.

On our first day, our group, which consisted of me, Ruby, Memcho, and Akane went full overboard on everything. Akane, being our trusty guide, went through each and every precaution, stating that she had much experience in traveling abroad.

When we reached our destination to the hotel, Kana furiously used her translation app on everything, they were shocked when I said in full, perfect Korean to the locals to lead the way on forward.

“Y-you know Korean?” Ruby twitched her eyes furiously when her brother didn’t even state this fact when they were suffering on the way to the airport.

I nodded, “Sure, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell us, Aqua? It would make our lives much easier, you know?” Akane sighed, her scarf covering her face while walking on the crossroads of Itaewon.

“I guess I forgot.”

What I didn’t say was that I was quite fluent in English, too. It was a more personal thing on why I knew why I learned English in the first place, but for Korean… Well, that was kind of a long story.

During choosing my major, my first pick was Diplomacy and International Relations, and in our first year, we were required to learn a language of our choice from the given options. The thing was… all the slots for the other languages were full, and I was left with no choice but to pick the remaining languages.

It proved useful later when I found out I was into idol culture. I was immersed in J-pop culture the most, of course, but I liked some parts of K-pop culture, too. I learned a lot just by watching videos of them and learning all the normal parts of language learning.

Although, I changed my course in sophomore year to medicine and I didn’t have time to learn it anymore. 

When I was reborn, the DNA that I tested on myself proved that I had Korean ancestry in me. I began to wonder if it was from Ai or from my unknown father. Ai practically had no information about her parents seeing that she was raised in a children's home, so I crossed that out. Seeing this information, I tried to be fluent in the language just in case. As well as English because it’s important to learn it when entering the entertainment industry.

Much to say… traveling with four adolescent girls was really energy-draining. Our job-related things were two days ahead of us, so they decided to have some fun. 

At the end of the day, we were slumped, walking through the subway station drained as we beeped our cards and exit the station, seeing the still-alive city with lights and people in many groups. After all, we went here on a weekend. We kept on bumping into people and apologizing whenever we did so.

I jumped when I felt someone touching my shoulder. I heard murmured and broken slurs under my breath, feeling the familiar blonde hair invade my senses, I felt Ruby cling to my back like a lifeline. There were Akane, Kana, and Memcho there, not looking any better than wasted, but they still looked better than Ruby at least.

Pointing a finger at the sky, she yelled, “Karaoke!”

The other three women looked at her in shock, covering their mouths exaggeratingly.

“K-karaoke!? It’s so late, though!?” Akane said.

“She’s right — I mean, look at you Ruby. You look drunk!” Kana somewhat held a chuckle, replying. I want to give some credit to Ruby though, she didn’t even drink and yet she looked like she emptied a dozen bottles.

Ruby gestured to her arms, “Oh come on! We had like, successful things in our career happen! Last week we rocked our performance at Tokyo Blade and now we’re collaborating with an overseas photoshoot! It’s the last time we’ll ever do this, right?”

“I’m spent.” Memcho sighed.

“It’s because you’re old!” Ruby murmured, to which Memcho took some offense to it, before sighing again, “I mean — you’re not wrong, I guess.”

“Oh cmonnnn— don’t be a buzzkill, guys! There’s plenty of open karaokes at this hour in this city, I mean look at everyone around you!” she opened her phone to a GPS tracker, lazily typing words on her keyboard.

For some reason, I respected her for that decision. Such as the ways the social person does become the social butterfly. I suspected she was doing that to be labeled as the “party girl” and to establish herself as an energetic idol. 

Or that she was just like that. You tell me.

While Memcho was choosing a song, her eyes gleamed when she realized there were Japanese songs in the system. The rest of us were sitting on a curved red couch, with multiple desserts laid on top of the wooden table. While a disco ball was shining right in front of us and the noise-cancelling walls silencing the entire room, Ruby tried to put on some small talk with Akane. 

“Hey, Akane, do you like…”

She turned her head to Ruby, “Like what?”

“Uhm… I apologize if it’s like — not your thing or something — hicc. But do you like K-pop?”

Akane frowned her eyebrows for a moment, placing her finger on her chin to think, “Hmmm… Well, I never really thought about it. A lot of girls in our generation like K-pop nowadays. I listened to some famous groups, and I seemed to like a selection of songs. I wouldn’t really call myself a fan, though. I like K-Dramas, though, their budget and production are top-notch.”

“ Hicc, I asked if you liked K-pop, and you gave me a full analysis…! I didn't take you to be a K-Drama watcher though. It is to be expected, though, you're an actor.” she replied. As Akane’s face turned down in embarrassment, Ruby assaulted her with the sudden placement of her arm around her shoulder, smiling.

“Loosen up! I’m just kidding! Well— hicc — I was gonna ask you who your bias was, but seeing you aren’t into that sort of thing, I’ll ask you something else”, with an awkward pause, “Pretend that me, Memcho, and Kana haven’t debuted yet. In your brutally honest opinion, who do you think is the most idol-worthy in this room?”

My ears finally perked up to their conversation, and I pretended not to notice as I took an unconventional amount of sips on my ice-cold water.

“Uhm.” she looked all around the room, “—Aqua?”

Ruby must have been surprised by that because she almost choked on the ice cream she was licking earlier. “Really?! Are you serious or are you biased because he’s your boyfriend?!” she yelled now, everyone now staring at what seemed to start as “small talk”.

Naturally, I became surprised too, and now obviously looked at their direction.

Ruby whistled, “Hey Aquaaaa—!” she yelled.

“H-hey now, wait—!” she tried to reach her hands in weak protest.

She dismissed her, “Don’t be shy! We should share all our answers!”

Kana frowned, “What did she say?”

“Hey—” Akane protested, but Ruby cut off, “She said that Aqua is the most Idol-worthy in this room compared to all of us!”

“Ah…” Kana reacted with a deflated sigh.

I took a sip of Cola in my seat, looking at four of the girls. Akane shook her hands in some kind of recompensation, “I-I’m serious, though!”

I raised an eyebrow, curious. Seems like that made Ruby curious, too, “Really? Show your answer, then, Akane! The floor is yours!”

“Well…” she pointed two of her fingers together, “Firstly, I would like to say that I-I think all of you guys are talented in your own way, and in no such way does this mean that you guys are all untalented! I’m just saying that Aqua is idol-worthy because he’s good at adapting to things…”

Predictably so, Ruby tilted her head in confusion, waiting for an explanation.

“Hm… During our times as co-workers — I’m sure you all can notice, during Love for Real and even our most recent project — Tokyo Blade, he’s really… willing to work and adapt to everyone around him. He can adjust himself based on what the staff wants and the wants of his other colleagues. I mean, three days ago, during Tokyo Blade, he went from being a side character to becoming the main focal point of the stage.”

Kana nodded, “Well, I mean she does have a point. Becoming an idol means you need to balance everything and anything altogether to make yourself marketable. Willing to work with everyone just makes you a better performance-based group.”

Memcho, “Hm. I guess so.”

Ruby chuckled, “Is it because you think he’s pretty?”

Akane blushed, “I-I mean, that’s a huge factor! Being an idol means you have to be pretty and—”

“I ain’t denying anything, Akane. I wouldn’t be surprised if Aqua became an idol in the future.”

I sighed at this nonsensical conversation, “Alright, that's enough.”

"Finally got to work this thing out!” Memcho exclaimed in happiness, “So who wants to be first?”

Akane embarrassingly took first kill, and after her okay-enough singing voice, we all clapped at her singing a trendy slow love song — that is after, being teased if she sang it because it reminded her of me.

Memcho was next, and she sang an old but not too old popular rap song. Her voice was mediocre, but her rap was amazing for what seems to be just a normal influencer. She strutted down back to the chair, absolutely ravishing the pancakes with cream stuck to her sides.

Kana was forced to be next, and to her absolute horrific nightmare they wanted for her to conjure, they picked the “Green Pepper Gymnastic” song they always blast during early elementary. Surprisingly the karaoke system had it, but since her song was an old classic one, I wouldn’t be too surprised at all. Frowning and scolding all three responsible for choosing the song, she returned to her seat, licking her popsicle unamused.

Pushing Ruby out of her chair just as she thought of a song, Kana offered an idea.

“What if we did a random song?”

“Random?”

“Yeah, look at the side of the screen, you can choose to randomize a song that would come next.”

“A-are you sure?” but before her consent, Kana quickly pressed the remote to chose the randomization button.

Looking at the loaded song, Ruby’s face was horrified when she saw the Korean title.

Akane took some pity, “It’s… in a different language…?”

“It’s in Korean!” she yelled. But for some reason, her face became in some sort of glee when she heard the beat and tone of the song.

“Wait—” Kana looked at Ruby in confusion.

"The Boys" 가사 - Girls' Generation

“겁이 나서 시작조차 안 해 봤다면!” she yelled when she sang the first line.

Well, just to summarize it — she knew the lyrics, so Kana’s revenge kind of backfired against her. The only cons of this situation was that her singing was not… pleasant… despite her memorizing each and every syllable of the song. 

So we kind of cringed against the voice the entire song, not trying to hurt her feelings.

Akane beamed, “Wow. Did you memorize the lyrics?”

It was Ruby’s turn to blush, “Well… Yes. It was my favorite song.”

She clapped happily. I nodded at her when she looked back at me, and that ignited a somewhat mischievous spark inside of her.

“Hey! How about Aqua—”

“No.” I replied quickly.

“Come on!” Ruby kind of pouted, “Just one song! It doesn't matter if you’re bad at singing, you know. I was bad. I know, but I still sang!”

Yeah, because you have no sense of embarrassment around this group. She was a social butterfly, unlike me, so I can’t pull it off without the entire harmony of the group probably shattering by itself by the sheer awkwardness.

Before I knew it, I was already at the front of the screen.

I felt betrayed as Kana and Ruby did this to me. Sighing, I decided to pick a random Korean song I knew before I was reincarnated. If I was bad, then at least they didn’t know I was that bad if I sang it in another language.

To be honest, I never really sang much in this body before. That time I sang once was a different story. However, my voice sounded much nicer than when I was Goro, so I had higher expectations for myself.

After I sang a random K-pop song that I liked during my previous life, I turned around, bracing for the cringed faces and expressions.

Instead, they all looked at me in some kind of way I didn’t expect. Was I that bad? Sorry.

They all clapped with genuine shock in their faces, Akane’s eyes beaming at my face, she stood up happily with a smile on her face. For the first time in my life, I titled my head.

“You were amazing!” she summarized. I frowned. Amazing? Well, I certainly didn’t notice that. Was she sarcastic? I don’t think so. This was Akane after all, not Kana.

Memcho added, “It was… actually better than mine and Kana’s. Do you sing?”

I stared at Akane for a moment, both of our eyes empty as we remembered that moment.

“No, not really.”

Ruby looked at me, “Wow! So you do have potential! I’ll tell this to Miyako-san!”

You sneaky little bastard.

“Don’t.”

“It isn’t really that refined, but with enough practice, you would be a great singer, you know?” Akane said, grabbing her trash and throwing it at the trashcan beside her.

“I guess.” I smiled a little, sitting back down. However, I didn’t know if I would seriously consider it. I was doing okay with my job as a movie editor and my developing skills to become an established actor. I never really reconsidered going to any other paths other than that.

Ruby stretched her arms, “Well, we should head to our hotel now. We have to meet with Memcho’s network tomorrow, as well as our photoshoot the day after—”

“Okay, don’t stress us out now. Let’s go.” Memcho grabbed her bag, and everyone followed behind her.

Once we were outside the glass door to exit the little karaoke cubicle, I frowned.

Someone was watching us.

Tightening my hold on Ruby’s hand, I looked over the surroundings. We were currently in a hallway connecting to multiple different hallways connecting to different rooms. Unless my senses were wrong, the suspect is really good at hiding.

Letting go of my sister's hand, I opened my mouth.

“How about you guys go outside? I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

Too tired to refuse, they nodded as they went in a group to go outside. Putting my hands between my pockets, I went to the opposite way of the exit and went towards the bathrooms. My eyes were directed towards a girl who was suspiciously close to the men’s bathroom.

When her eyes were interlocked in mine in a ‘I need something from you gaze’ I stopped when she opened her mouth for a split second while I was walking.

“Excuse me, sir?” she said in Korean.

“Hello?” I replied back.

She put her hands behind her back, “Are you interested in becoming an Idol trainee for Idol Inc. survival show? We’re still currently accepting people and we’re open to overseas trainees.”

“Idol trainee?” I replied back. She smiled back in what seemed to be a smirking grin plastered right across her face. It seemed like it meant that I was able to understand Korean and she was particularly happy about it.

She finally removed her hands from the back and handed me a clean-cut business card. On the front, it read in Hangul, Idol Inc (아이돌 주식회사),with gold large letters spelling out "T-net" with one name, Ryu Seorin at the side of the card along with her number and email. When I turned onto the back there was one number plastered onto it.

Analyzing and feeling it under my hands, it was made of high-quality card stock paper, with professional print that had embossed letters like braille. It must mean that this must be a big-shot company that has the budget for these business cards.

Besides, wait — am I being casted right inside a goddamn karaoke club? How desperate is the company?

“Oh. Thank you.” I placed it carefully inside my wallet.

“Do you have an agency?” she asked while holding a notepad right in front of me with no shame. She adjusted her glasses while I just stared at her.

“Uh— yes. I’m in a Japanese one though.”

“Ah! I see!” she smiled while scribbling, “Are you Japanese? How do you know Korean?”

As if it felt like some sort of a rushing interrogation, I tried to be polite as much as possible, “Yes. I just learned the language, I’m not a citizen of this country, though, so —”

“That’s no problem! If your agency allows it, we can get access to a work visa as soon as possible, yes!” she replied quickly before I finished my sentence.

It was like it was urgent to the point that they were casting calls inside karaoke bars. I mean — that was nothing new, casting calls can be done in streets and wherever, but if this was a big company, it was kind of concerning.

It means I have to do my research. Again.

And also, why does it seem like they’re desperate to get me? 

“Thank you — I’ll think about it with my agency.” 

She nodded, “Ah — sorry. What’s your name?”

“Aquamarine Hoshino.”

The next part I was very confused about...

Her eyes glinted and she didn’t even try to hide her smirk as she looked at me like I was the next winning lottery number.