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Uzi sat in the comforts of her room, purple lights illuminating her worried expression. It’s only been a few months since the final battle, she thought she would get over it like she’s done everything else. But she was wrong.
Her thoughts have gotten violent. Not with others, but with herself. She’s been trying not to act on those thoughts but she already has scratches and punctures in her metal that say otherwise. Maybe she shouldn’t have gotten back up after that monster ripped out her core. Maybe she deserved it.
Uzi’s thoughts are interrupted when N walks into her room, holding snacks in both hands. That’s right, today’s her and N’s date! Surely this’ll cheer her up, N always makes everything better.
N smiles as he puts the snacks on Uzi’s side table. “So I got a BUNCH of batteries, oil, and more oil! I think we’ll be covered for a few hours!” He looks to Uzi. “You okay, Uzi? You look like you spaced out for a second!” The male drone commented on Uzi’s quietness as he came back into her room.
“Yeah N, I’m fine! Gonna get a movie started, okay?” Uzi smiled at N, her legs crossed on the bed as she was trying to find a movie. While she looked for a movie, her mind was in a different place.
She’s proud that she has been with N for a while. Since, before him, she didn’t have anyone to live for. But, she wonders why he’s stayed all this time. She stays in her room every day except for a couple of mandatory school days, and she barely eats or does anything at all. Her heads been a jumble of racing thoughts ever since a few months ago. She’s been bottling up all this emotion for months and months, and it’s getting hard to keep it all together.
On the other hand, N knows that his girlfriend is struggling, but he doesn’t know the full extent of it. He’s noticed she’s been quite a homebody since a few months ago. That’s why he planned this date, If she doesn’t want to get out of her room, he’ll just bring the date to her!
Uzi was brought back to the present as she continued to scroll through a bunch of movies, trying to find something to make the thoughts go away, something sweet and funny. But she resulted to the next best thing, her boyfriend.
Uzi dropped the TV remote next to her quietly and fidgeted with her hands. N was distracted with getting the snacks ready for their movie, so he didn’t notice.
The purple haired drone has been tormented by her thoughts. They’ve gotten so dark recently and so.. intrusive. So heavy.
“Hey.. N?”
“Yeah?”
Uzi glanced at her fidgeting fingers with a bit of an ashamed expression, like she felt like she was afraid of being too vulnerable. But she needed the comfort and the distraction. As soon as N was distracted, Uzi found herself buried in his chest. Her fingers gripped the cloth quietly. She wanted to pull away and deny that she needed help, But she knew that she desperately needed it.
“Uzi, wha-“ N started to speak until he felt Uzi bury herself in his chest. This caught him off guard, she never hugged or cuddled with him out of the blue like this unless something happened. N quickly accepted her action, held her head and hugged her tightly. His tail wrapped around Uzi, giving an extra squeeze as he ran his fingers through her hair.
Tears lit up Uzi’s monitor suddenly. In return, she hugged him a little harder.
“It’s just- ugh.. its just so scary.” Her voice was so shaky. She paused before continuing. “I mean, I literally saw your heart get ripped out- and I got my own heart ripped out, N! How could I not be fucked up because of that!?” Uzi muttered in a fast manner. “I don’t know how to be okay after that, if I even was in the first place! Everything’s all over the place and i’m getting these stupid thoughts-“
“Uzi!“ N cut her off and tilted her head up from his chest to look at her face. Her teary eyes looked straight back at his caring ones. “Slow down for a sec and take a breath.” He exhaled quietly as a bittersweet smile tugged on his face. “Please.” He said softly before Uzi blinked away her tears and took a few quiet deep breaths.
After a few moments, N spoke up. “There..” The yellow eyed drone paused. “Why didn’t you tell me how you were feeling?” N asked quietly while letting Uzi lean her body against him.
Uzi stayed quiet, but her monitor had changed to a image with texting bubbles. She’s thought about telling him for quite a while. She just didn’t want to burden him.
“I- I don’t know, it’s just that you have so much on your plate and you have your own troubles…” Uzi stammered. “God, just forget I said that.” She moved her body away from N and crossed her arms. “I’m just having another stupid angsty teen moment or whatever!”
“No- I know it’s not just an angsty moment, Uzi..” The yellow eyed drone spoke as he sighed quietly. Why didn’t Uzi speak up about all this? What has been going on in her head? N thought to himself. He’s so concerned about her wellbeing. I mean he has to be, She’s his girlfriend after all, the love of his life!
“You’ve never and never will be a burden.. I know sometimes I have quite a bit on my plate but I’ll always make room for you! You’re never a chore to me- ever.” N looked at her, Uzi looked up and back at him. In this moment, N’s eyes looked like honey, rich with sweetness. How did he love her so much?
“Really? Are you sure?” She asked, she was a little bit surprised, but this is N she’s talking about here. He’s practically the most honest drone on all of Copper-9.
“Am I sure about you not being a burden? Uzi, of course.” He paused. “I wouldn’t lie about that.” N smiled at Uzi, it wasn’t a grin, just a small smile to offer some comfort.
Uzi stayed silent.
The room was filled with a comforting silence, maybe too silent though. Tears appeared in Uzi’s monitor. Her thoughts were as loud as before now. She broke into tears. Quiet sobs and whimpers came from her throat.
The sudden cries broke N’s heart into pieces. He pulled her closer to him and held her tightly. Uzi’s shoulders quietly shook from her sobs.
“All these thoughts telling me to do things- to do dangerous things- It’s-It’s so scary to have all these thoughts in my head all the time.” Uzi stuttered as she spoke. The shake in her voice was evident.
N exhaled quietly before speaking up, “I get it.. Those thoughts are so extremely scary.” He paused. “But i’m here to make all those thoughts go away.” N mumbled under his breath.
He let Uzi cry and held her tight, his voice was soothing as he muttered quietly. “You're okay.. I've got you"
Uzi cried, allowing herself to be held despite her previous attempts to deny it.
***
After about 20 minutes, Uzi’s tears began to slow to a halt. Her body getting aftershocks from all her cries and quiet sobs.
N spoke up quietly. “Uzi?” He quietly ran his fingers through her purple hair.
“Y-Yeah?” Even in a quiet tone, her voice still broke when she spoke. She noticed the sound of her voice and sunk into herself a bit. She hated how vulnerable she sounded, and how weak she felt.
“Are you okay..?” N stammered. “I-I mean, you’re definitely not cause you just sobbed- uhm..” He muttered quietly, answering his own question.
Uzi stayed silent and sniffled quietly. Her hands shaky, the remnants of her sobs racking her body.
“Hey..”
“Hm..?”, Uzi looked up at N with shiny eyes, half of her face buried in his chest.
“I love you.”
Uzi’s heart swelled and, for a reason that she didn’t know, tears prickled up in her monitor.
“I love you more.” Uzi pulled away from him slightly with a small smile, still a bit weak from all the crying. Uzi found herself leaning up and kissing N, a loving kiss, her way of telling him she cared. N returned the kiss and after, swept her into his arms, a tight embrace, like all he cared about was Uzi’s wellbeing and seeing her at least a little bit better than before. Because, to no surprise, that’s all he really did care about.
She would never admit it, but Uzi’s mind always felt clearer when she was with N.
Maybe it’s a sign for her to stay around.