Chapter Text
Scott was starting to get sick.
Scott woke up with a tightness in his chest and a tickle in his throat. Scott was used to over the years having seasonal allergies; whenever the flowers bloomed outside of the windows of the school he would start feeling sick and sniffle all day. Scott would just have to take medicine once he was out of classes. He promised himself he would get through the day before he would succumb to the medicine.
Scott wasn't good at keeping promises with his health because he was now walking through the hall as the children walked around him, moving around him like water flowing around him. Scott had written on the board to the kids he would be back in a few minutes before heading through the hallway. He made this way to the kitchen, suppressing a cough that was scratching his lungs like something with claws was trying to escape.
Scott turned into the kitchen, quickly looking through to see that there were a few of the older students who didn't have any classes at this hour and Logan standing around. Logan was drinking some sort of soda as he picked at the sandwich on his plate. Scott glanced at Logan as he pulled the medicine cabinet open and pulled out allergy medicine that was labeled as his. Scott took out two of the pills and swallowed them dry.
“You shouldn't do that.” Logan's voice spoke up from across the kitchen, making Scott look at him. “You know y’r supposed to take that shit with water.”
“I'll be fine.” Scott huffed out as he turned away from Logan.
Ever since Jean died, Scott had been having trouble with taking care of himself. Depression had seeped in and taken over his life until Logan had made it his personal goal to get Scott back to how he once was. Scott was struggling every day but Logan was there to pick him up again. It had become their routine of Logan being there for Logan and Scott slowly getting there. It made Scott appreciate Logan more; slowly realizing that Logan wasn't as bad as he thought he was. He was just rough on the exterior from hundreds of years of loss and being a weapon for others to use.
“You're really not gonna be if you keep doing that.” Logan rolled his eyes and Scott grit his teeth.
“I just feel like shit today, Logan.” Scott glanced at the students who were all eyeing them. “Allergies are acting up again.”
“I can tell.” Logan seemed to be done with his food as he started to put his food away. “Mix honey, ginger, and lemon juice. Should help.”
“Does that even work?” Scott was the one who raised his eyebrows this time.
“Works for me.” Logan huffed before walking away.
Scott couldn't help but smile slightly as he watched Logan walk away. He couldn't help but feel happy over the man trying to take care of him. Even if Scott wouldn't listen sometimes, it was nice to have someone care for him in the way that nobody else was. It made Scott feel special and something fluttered in his stomach.
Scott turned an opened the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water before heading back to his class, hoping to ease the weird feeling in his throat with the water.
–
Scott was convinced he had caught something by the end of the week.
The tightness in his chest was now burning into his throat and his lungs ached. Breathing felt hard and always led to him feeling like something was inside of his chest. Scott knew he couldn't have pneumonia, it was impossible. He hadn't had any of the prompts to develop the ailment. The tickling feeling in his lungs begged a differ though, feeling exactly like when he caught it as a kid.
“Still not feeling better, Slim?” Logan leaned into the doorframe of the empty classroom Scott was in.
“I think I have a cold.” Scott lied, not wanting Logan to know what was happening. He didn't want the other man to fuss over him.
“Probably. You smell odd.” Logan simply frowned at Scott. “Y'smell like… dirt. Like someone pushed you into mud.”
“That's weird. I feel more like I was drowned.” Scott grimaced and rubbed his hand against his chest. “It is probably from when I was outside working on my bike while it was raining outside.”
The both of them knew that wasn't it. Scott was simply making excuses to stop prying eyes. He looked up to Logan, whose mouth was pressed into a frown. Logan had something in his hand and Scott recognized it as a bag of cough drops. They looked to be orange flavored, if Scott could guess from the fruit shape on the bad. He couldn't see the color but he could recognize the design from there. They were the ones that Scott favored.
“What do you have there?” Scott tried to move the attention from Scott's health to the bag in Logan's hands. Scott couldn't help but feel a warm feeling in his chest over how Logan brought him it. Logan wouldn't have done this months ago.
“Cough drops.” Logan’s voice was gruff as he tossed it to Scott, who caught them easily. Logan's tone went to one of being defensive, as if he felt the need to write the action off. “Didn't want you complaining about your throat later if you started to cough.”
“Thanks.” Scott offered a smile.
“Don't mention it. The kids would also have my ass if I let you fall apart over some cough.” Logan rolled his eyes and Scott recognized it as him pushing away from Scott. The walls coming back up and blocking Scott out. It was an endless cycle of on and off that made Scott sometimes pause. It was like Logan didn't want to get close, even with caring for Scott.
“I won't.” Scott still couldn't help but still smile at Logan. It was nice to feel loved, even if the man was just trying to keep Scott from falling apart for who knows what reason.
“Good.” Logan pushed off the doorframe and turned to look at the kids who pushed past him. They didn't seem bothered as they quite literally wormed around Logan like he wasn't the most unsociable and prickly person in the building. “See you, Slim.”
“Goodbye, Logan.” Scott turned away as Logan moved past the kids and out of the room.
Scott sat the cough drops down onto his desk, his back to his students as they went to their seats. His fingers brushed the warm packaging and he smiled down at it.
Scott loved the care and attention that Logan was giving him. More than he wanted to. He appreciated the man and deep down inside of Scott there was the yearning to welcome the man in closer. Scott knew Logan was only doing it because he had the feeling like he had to or he probably promised Jean's memory to keep Scott from hurting himself. It was almost bittersweet to know this.
Logan was finding his way to sit next to Jean's memory in Scott's heart. Scott didn't want to admit it, but as the months stretched on he wanted to lay with the older mutant and feel warmth in Scott's empty bed again. Scott was trying to push the feeling down, but it was almost like a budding flower in his chest. Growing and blooming into feelings that he knew would never be reciprocated. Leaving Scott holding the flower of his love for Logan in his hands, waiting for it to wilt and die on its own.
Scott turned back to his students with his normal friendly but stern attitude, clapping his hands together.
“So, we left off last class with graphs.”
–
It had been another week and the burning wasn't stopping, if anything it was getting worse.
Scott was trying to stifle a cough as he sat at his desk during class. His students were taking an exam currently, with five minutes left, and he didn't want to disturb them, so he kept swallowing back the tickling in his throat. It burned and itched painfully, making Scott wish he could get up and go get water or something to help.
Scott didn't know what was wrong with him. Hank had run a few tests on him and he came back negative from all of them. Hank even listened to his chest and said that it sounded like he just had a nasty cold. This wasn't some nasty cold though. Scott knew that this was something worse, but he couldn't go begging Hank to do the more invasive testing or go to the doctor in town. Logan and the others would find out it wasn't just a nasty cold and start to fuss over him. The last thing Scott needed was Ororo and Logan to team up on him or the kids to all start pitying him.
“Times up.” Scott called out as he watched the clock hand move to the 45 minutes mark, signifying the exam was done. His voice was slightly hoarse now. “Come hand me your papers and you can leave once it's in.”
One by one, the students came up and handed their papers in. Some of them frowned and gave him a side eye, looking at him like something was wrong. Scott tried to ignore it as he stacked the papers up next to his desk organizer. The last student to walk up was Kitty, who paused as she looked at Scott.
“Yes, Kitty?” Scott tried to not show his discomfort as he smiled at her.
“You smell like flowers, sir. Have you been going through Ms. Grey's items again?” Kitty looked concerned. “It's not a heavy scent, but when you're close enough to people it's pretty light.”
“No?” Scott frowned. He tended to shy away from Jean's things. They brought back memories he didn't want.
“Okay. Just making sure.” Kitty slowly nodded as she moved her backpack over her shoulder. “See you later.”
“See you at dinner.” Scott spoke quietly as he watched his student leave the classroom.
Scott didn't know why he would lightly smell like flowers. It wasn't like he was close to any of the girls in the school and he didn't touch Jean's items. He could have possibly thrown his laundry in when someone had left excess detergent in the machine. Scott at least hoped it was that.
Scott collected his papers and coughed into his hand, hoping to soothe the feeling in the worst way. When it didn't get better he proceeded to open his desk drawer and take out a cough drop that Logan had given him. He unwrapped it and put it into his mouth. It tasted like artificial orange with a bite of medicine. He was getting used to the taste and it didn't bother him as much anymore. As soon as he got to stop eating them the sooner he could feel better again.
Scott put the exams into his shoulder bag and stood up. He slung the bag over his shoulder and moved to walk out of his classroom.
–
Scott let out a small cough as he stood in front of the fridge. It was close to midnight and Scott couldn't sleep. His lungs wouldn't let him.
Scott was tired and he just wanted to eat something and go back to bed, but there was nothing seemingly good in the fridge. It was all leftovers, marked by the kids, or was ingredients he would have to make into something. He shut the door with a heavy sigh that rattled his lungs.
“You want a beer?” Logan's voice came from behind Scott, pulling Scott's attention to the older man. Logan was carrying a six pack in his hands as he stood in the doorway.
“We're not supposed to drink in the mansion.” Scott frowned. “I probably should be drinking like this anyways.”
“It'll be fine. Chuck won't find out and a beer or two won't kill you, Slim.” Logan rolled his eyes and held up the six pack. “A single one and then you can go back to your coffin.”
Logan had been calling Scott's bed a coffin lately, like it was a joke. Scott assumed it was because Scott would disappear and be dead to the world whenever he was hiding away.
“Fine.” Scott gave in easily, hoping the beer would somehow settle his uneasy stomach and the burning in his throat by giving a new type of burn.
“Good.” Logan let a small smile grace his lips before walking to the glass doors at the end of the kitchen. “We can go out here just in case a kid comes through.”
Scott silently followed Logan, walking through the door that Logan held open for him. Outside the door was the large backyard. There weren't any of the decorative flowers on this side of the building, so Scott relaxed as he sat on the cement outside of the door. Logan shut the door and sat down next to Scott before opening the six pack and handing Scott one. Scott cracked it open and took a sip of the cheap beer.
“I don't get how you can drink this cheap shit. You have money, you know.” Scott grimaced at the beer. It tasted like piss.
“Yeah, but then I wouldn't appreciate the small things in life if I did.” Logan shrugged as he took a drink of his own. “Sometimes you gotta just do what's convenient. Cheap beers are quick and convenient and I'm used to them, even if they taste like shit. Didn't have money for a good while so I made due with what I had. Now that I'm here, sure I could buy nice beer, but I don't.”
“I don't understand it.” Scott resisted the urge to sigh as he took another drink between words. “Why wouldn't you just drink less but trade off for nice beer?”
“I wouldn't appreciate the small things then. That's the point. You put yourself through a normal that may not be as comfortable, but when you got those small moments of nice things then you will genuinely appreciate them. People who live always having nice things ain't happy. Life is work and reward. If it's only reward then you ain't gonna appreciate it.” Logan held the same voice he had when he was telling the kids part of his past. There was something so haunting and lost in the way he said it that reminded Scott of just how old Logan was. He had centuries of experiences and he still lived the same way. “It's like letting people in. You can let people get too close all the time.”
“So that's what you do? You work the hard way so you can be happy with the payout and small feelings of happiness?” Scott frowned.
“Yes. Better than feelin miserable but having everything handed to me.” Logan shrugged as if it was a simple concept. “Just a way of thinkin.”
Scott coughed as he looked down at his beer. His throat burned in more ways than one. The beer made his throat feel the carbonated alcohol was scratching at his throat while the sickness he had was crawling back up. Scott could understand the way that Logan thought, but sometimes he wished he could live like that. He did in some ways, but the rest of the time he would jump at being happy again.
“I think I get it.” Scott slowly nodded and took another drink. He was appreciating the small glimpse into Logan's thoughts. It made Scott wonder if this was Logan's hard work for a small bit of happiness in some way. But Scott pushed that thought away with a painful twist of his stomach.
“Good.” Logan spoke from around his beer.
–
“And that is why we need to be writing out our whole work, Johnny.” Scott tapped the board with the expo marker he was holding. He was peering at Johnny, who was slouching in the back of his advanced algebra class. As smart as the kid was, he was bad at showing his work and paying attention.
Scott uncapped his marker and started to write an equation on the board in what he assumed was a green marker, it looked almost black but it wasn't quite black. He made sure it wasn't terribly complicated for the class but instead slightly difficult. He wanted to challenge them.
“Alright. Figure this one out and I will call on one of you randomly to figure it out.” Scott capped his marker and sat it down onto the ledge of the board.
Scott turned away and looked over the schedule on his desk. He was planning to finally go back to the Danger Room today since it was the fourth day in a row that the burning in his lungs had calmed down. He still felt like there was something in his lungs, but the burning and itching had stopped. The only time it felt like he had itching was when something was in the very bottom of his throat, which would go away when he swallowed. They were small little things that Scott chalked up to being pieces of food that got stuck.
“Okay. Who is willing to volunteer?” Scott turned to his class after seeing the Danger Room schedule lined up with his own.
“I will.” Roberto raised his hand and Scott motioned to the board.
Roberto stood up and moved to the board, taking the market and starting to solve the equation. Scott watched as Roberto wrote on the board, watching the way the boy wrote his work out.
Scott then felt the creeping feeling of coughing, but this time it was different. There was something in his throat and it came up with every breath through his nose. Scott lightly choked for a second before going into a coughing fit. His hands came up to his mouth, cupping as his lungs rattled in irritation.
Scott turned away from his students as he heaved into his hands, trying to get the object out of his throat. He was glad he didn't have a gag reflex as whatever it was came out of his throat and into his mouth. He gave one more cough and it fell into his hands. Scott took back his hands, cupping them still so whatever it was didn't fall and his students didn't see.
In his hands was a curled purple and blue petal. It was dark and wet, probably from the saliva that had kept it stuck in his throat. Scott's eyes widened as he saw it and he quickly moved to his desk, taking a napkin he had and wiping his hands off. He dropped the petal in a spot he knew his students wouldn't see. He cleaned his hands off and turned to his students.
“Sorry. I guess a piece of food got stuck in my throat.” Scott lifted up the balled up napkin before throwing it away. Scott had to tell himself to smile and act casually as his kids stared at him in horror. “I'm okay. Still getting better from that cold.”
“Are you sure?” Marie sounded nervous as she looked at him. Scott hoped she didn't go running to Logan after this.
“I'm fine. I promise.” Scott shrugged it off and squared his shoulders. “Now, let's look at Roberto's work.”
–
Scott found himself at the small library within the school, sitting in front of the computer that sat in the corner. He was logged into his personal profile, since all of the adults had their own.
Scott was looking up anything having to do with coughing up flowers. He was at first only finding forums about people being able to eat flowers at first, but he then saw a comment on a forum about some weird new disease.
Scott clicked into the forum comment to see a whole discussion about it. The commenter wrote about how there was a new phenomenon happening in Japan, which had been categorized as a disease of the lungs. They wrote that there hadn't been many cases in other countries so far, but numbers were quickly rising. It was an event where flowers started to grow in the lungs of a person and they would slowly die from the flowers. Research had been going on for about ten years, since the first cases were ten years ago and very scarce.
One of the commenters had linked many articles that were all in Japanese, but showed images of sickly looking patients and flower petals that people had coughed up. In some images there were full flowers. The person who linked it, proceeded to translate parts of the article.
The flower disease that has been labeled Hanahaki has spread across Japan within the last decade. The disease is not contagious, but appears to come from emotions and other biological triggers. One simply develops Hanahaki through falling in love and not being requited. There is no current research to show whether or not it is biologically triggered or mentally triggered. Research has proven two ways that the disease could be cured; through reciprocation or through medical removal.
Many comments started to go into how people die from this most of the time and how the disease works. Scott blinked at the screen as some people commented links to Japanese research articles that explained the process. He opened them but he couldn't read them. They were fully in Japanese and Scott wanted to cry in frustration. The diagrams showed roots and flowers growing within the lungs of the model and he wished he could understand it.
Scott copied the links and looked for a translation forum. He spent a few minutes clicking through them before he found one for Japanese academic translations. He thanked whoever was out there as he opened up a post.
Would anyone be able to translate research articles on a newer disease? I believe I know someone with this disease and would like to understand it better.
Scott added the links at the bottom like others had done before posting it. He sucked in a deep breath as he sat back in his chair.
If Scott had a new disease that not as many knew of in the States, then he could possibly get past people knowing he had it. There was always the risk that the kids would find out if they saw it, but he doubted they would connect the dots. He would have to just keep this under wraps. He couldn't let them know he could possibly be slowly dying.
Scott's mind then drifted to the other problem at hand:
He must be in love with someone.
There was no other explanation for this. This is the only disease that came up and it was specifically connected to unrequited love. But Scott couldn't think of anyone off the top of his head it could be. Jean loved Scott back and they had been in a relationship. Once Jean died, it was impossible for him to feel unrequited love. He also was moving on from her death so he doubted that would cause it. Logan wouldn't let him stoop that far down into his misery.
Logan.
Scott felt his face burn as he realized it was Logan. The feeling of love that Scott had developed with the more time Scott spent with Logan. He way that Scott was starting to yearn for the man deeply within his chest. The way that he felt love blossom for the older man and he pushed it down.
Scott's love was manifesting in this way because Scott knew Logan would never love him back. The feeling must have buried it so far within himself that it caused this to happen. This whole time Scott didn't have a cold; his lungs were growing flowers.
Scott felt another petal come up his throat, the fourth one since the first one. Each of them were curled and a deep purple and blue. Small and pristine looking. Scott coughed and spat out the small petal into his hand. He looked down and to his surprise, this one was yellow. It was the same type of petal, but the color was just different.
Scott brought out the small jar of petals he had started to keep and wiped off the small petal. He opened the jar and added it to the group. Once he closed it again, he wondered if he could identify the flowers so he knew what he was dealing with.
Scott turned and looked at the mass of books next to him and he hummed quietly. It was late enough for the students to not come in here and early enough in the night that Logan wouldn't come seeking him out. Scott locked the computer and pocketed his petals again before pushing himself up. He walked through the bookcases, looking at the well labeled shelves until he found the botanical section. He glanced through the titles until he found guides on flowers and their biology.
Scott pulled out a few of the books and brought them back to the computer. He stacked them next to the computer and he unlocked his profile. The screen came to life and showed the forums still opened. Scott saw a notification and he clicked on it to see someone say that they would type it all up for him, but expect to take a few days and possibly with help from others.
Scott typed up a quick thank you before he turned the computer off and scooped his books up into his arms. He made his way out of the library, turning off the main lights and leaving the doors feeling worse than when he went in.