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Kyle doesn’t find himself alone most days. He had grown accustomed to the company of his friends. Even Cartman. He had also gotten used to having something happening in his life, never a quiet or uninteresting moment because there was always some insane or wacky adventure waiting to be had. This was all thanks to his friends, of course. Though, they could be real jerkwads when they wanted to be and Kyle is sick and tired of not being taken seriously. Of always having his feelings brushed aside.
So here he was, walking around Stark’s Pond aimlessly. Stark’s Pond was generally pretty quiet and peaceful, a clear juxtaposition to the turmoil going on in Kyle’s head. He came here to clear his mind, but that was proving to be more difficult than he anticipated. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t stop mulling over the argument; it was playing itself over and over in his brain and it wasn’t showing any signs of stopping. Admitting he was in the wrong wasn’t an easy feat for Kyle, but it became more difficult when he couldn’t find anything wrong with his actions. He felt justified in his anger. He wasn’t overreacting, he had a right to feel this way.
After having enough of uselessly pacing around, he plopped himself down on a nearby bench. In his frustration, he had failed to realize there was already someone sitting on the bench who had been silently watching his restless walking near the edge of the pond for quite some time.
Just as Kyle was debating heading home because clearly coming to Stark’s Pond was a shitty idea, a voice next to him interrupted his inner conflict.
“Are you alright?”
Kyle’s head snaps over to the voice. It was Wendy. He was a bit surprised to see her there, she didn’t seem like the type to hang out at Stark’s Pond.
But then again, he didn’t know much about her anyways. Other than the fact she was a certain someone’s ex-girlfriend, he knew next to nothing.
Wendy was wearing her usual pink beret and purple jacket, with the new addition of pink ear muffs and a light purple scarf with vertical stripes. She was holding her scarf down so her mouth was poking out, but her chin was still covered. Kyle must have been staring at her for too long because she spoke again.
“Kyle?” Her voice was laced with concern.
“Oh! Uhm, yeah, I’m fine.” Seeing Wendy was surprising enough to shock him out of his little stupor. He hadn’t been prepared to bump into anyone today. Especially not someone who reminded him so much of the guy he was currently angry with. Wendy must’ve noticed his expression turn sour. She has always been really observant. Then again, it wasn’t particularly easy for him to hide any disdain.
“Are you sure? ‘Cause you don’t look fine.” Wendy tilts her head to the side a little. “Is there something bothering you?” Her bangs are a little uneven and hang over her eyes awkwardly. She brushes them aside. Kyle clears his throat.
“No? I don’t know. It’s kind of stupid anyways.” Kyle looks away from her, hoping she drops it. He wasn’t used to airing out his problems to people he barely knew. Though he supposes he could’ve gotten stuck with worse people. Wendy is probably the best option right now.
“Well if it’s bothering you, it can’t be that stupid.” Or not. Wendy gives him a lopsided smile. She looks pretty charming and it gives him an overwhelming urge to spill his feelings out to her. Eugh.
“I don’t know. I just had a fight and I’m still angry about it, that’s all.” Kyle stares at the ground hard as if it owed him an apology. He added, “that’s why I came here. Because I thought I’d feel better but…” He trails off. He doesn’t need to finish though, Wendy understands. He gives her a glance and she is still smiling so he looks away again.
“I understand. Being somewhere quiet can help, but talking it out with someone could help too.” Kyle’s eyes land on her once again, she has a sweet sincere smile on and it makes Kyle feel a little sick. She takes his silence as an answer but her smile never waivers. She continues.
“Or we could just talk. A distraction can also be helpful until you’re ready. That can be anytime. We could walk around.” That last part sounded a lot more like a question. Kyle thinks about it and he can’t really find any reason to say no so he might as well. He finds himself nodding and before he can come up with a verbal answer, Wendy is already standing and offering a gloved hand to him.
He hesitates for just a little bit and he has no idea if Wendy notices, but maybe she doesn’t care. He takes her hand.
They stand for a few seconds in silence, awkwardly shuffling while still holding hands. Kyle pulls away, maybe a bit too quickly, and shoves his hands into his pockets. He sincerely hopes Wendy thinks it’s because he forgot to wear his gloves and not for any other arbitrary reason.
She smiles at him again, this time more sheepishly. She gestures towards a general direction with her head and Kyle follows her indication. They start to walk and Kyle makes sure to keep a respectable distance between them. Wendy doesn't seem to mind, but if she did, she probably wouldn’t have said anything. Probably.
After a few seconds of painful silence, Kyle begins talking. His voice cracks at the start and he wants to die.
“SO, why are you at Starks?” Kyle wants to look at her, but can’t bring himself to look at anything other than his boots stepping over snow and the occasional stray stick. Wendy hums.
“I like to come here often. To read or just be out of the house, y’know? Things can get stressful. At school…just South Park in general,” she lets out this airy breath that sounds a little bit like a snort almost. She goes on. “And I feel like nothing really goes on here, so that’s why I like to come here. It’s peaceful.”
Kyle finally looks at her and she looks a little wistful. This must be important for her, he thinks. She’s looking ahead, but it’s like she can feel his eyes on her because she turns towards him. She gives him another sheepish smile and she adds, “and the sunrise is really beautiful from here.” She gives him a little half shrug and looks away. Maybe from embarrassment. Kyle smiles.
“Yeah?” He says because he can’t think of anything else in response. She gets to look back at him. This time with a wider smile.
“Yeah.” There’s a little twinkle in her eyes and he can tell she feels really strongly about this. It’s special to her.
They continue walking.
It’s a while before either of them say anything more but the silence between them has become more comfortable. Kyle feels like he can finally think clearly and appreciate the scenery around them.
Wendy clears her throat, “so I’m guessing you don’t really come here often?”
Kyle hums, “no, not really. I guess only if there’s something going on but not like…out of my own will. Or for fun, y’know?”
“Yeah, I mean, I guess with friends like yours there’s always something , right?”
“Yeah, it’s,” Kyle frowns. “Honestly, it’s kind of draining. Sometimes.”
“I get that, it can be nice to..,” Wendy pauses like she’s considering her next words. “Unwind and relax from time to time.” There’s an unspoken invitation there, Kyle thinks.
He thinks about his next words carefully. “Is-” his foot crushes a stick. “Uh, this the only place you come to…” He waves his hand around. “Unwind?”
Wendy has a thoughtful look on her face.
“No, not really, I like to be at the library sometimes to study and all that. But sometimes the fresh air is nice.” Her face lights up like she’s realized something. “Do you have any way to destress?”
“How do you mean?”
“Like when you’re angry. What do you usually do?”
“Punch Cartman.” Wendy makes a funny face at that but she steels herself quickly and takes a big breath.
“Ok, other than that?”
Kyle has never let himself think too much about his feelings. He usually tries to be as logical as possible, though he doesn’t always succeed. If he’s honest with himself…
“Uh…” Kyle racks his brain for an acceptable answer. The very last thing he wants is to look like an idiot in front of Wendy. He’s not entirely sure what her perception of him is but he doesn’t want to make it any worse. But when he can’t come up with anything, he admits, “I don’t know...” He tries to not look so defeated about it.
“Well it’s not healthy to…not have a good outlet for your emotions, y’know?” Kyle rolls his eyes.
“Wendy, you don’t need to go all therapist on me.”
“I’m not!” Wendy insists, looking half offended.
“Yes you are, you’re telling me all these feelings stuff-”
“What, so is that-,” she looks up at the sky in exasperation. “Why are all you boys so afraid of feeling things!” Now it’s Kyle’s turn to look offended.
“What!? I am not-!”
“Then why are you trying so hard to avoid it?” After Kyle has nothing to say in response, Wendy huffs. “Just listen to me for a sec, ok?” She waits for him to nod before continuing.
“Avoiding your problem isn’t going to help you in the long run. And I’m not saying this to you as a therapist, alright? I’m telling you as a friend ,” she emphasizes. Kyle is just a little bit stunned at her proclamation, but he quickly recovers.
“Ok…I’m sorry, continue.” Wendy smiles.
“It’s good to have a way to let out your emotions. And even though punching Cartman can feel really cathartic.” Kyle snickers. Wendy goes on, “you still need other ways to let out your frustrations! If Cartman isn’t there to be your punching bag, what will you do?”
“I’ll…,” Kyle groans. “I don’t know! What do you think I should do, Miss ‘I’m not a therapist’?” He says it in a purposely mocking way, but Wendy still lets out a laugh and punches him in the arm.
“Asshole,” she mutters, but clears her throat. “Talk it out,” she says simply. When Kyle says nothing in response, she adds, “you don’t have to now, I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, but keeping it in can be really damaging. Trust me.”
Kyle takes a second to digest her words. It’s simple yet solid advice, he knows it.
“Yeah, ok. You make a good point.”
“So?”
“So, I should probably talk this out with someone,” Kyle sighs.
“Exactly!”
“Except…” Kyle frowns. Wendy looks over to him curiously.
“Except?”
“I’ve tried that, but nobody ever listens !” His words come out exasperated. He has years of pent up frustration over this.
“I’ll listen.” Her words melt away all the anger he was feeling in the moment. He searches her face for any hint of insincerity, but he finds none. She’s patient and genuine with the way she stares back. She nods like she’s giving him permission to let it out. So he does.
He tells her everything, from the very start. He’s almost surprised at how easy it was to tell her how he felt. It was like a dam being broken, everything just flowed out naturally. As he’s ranting, he continuously looks back at her and she’s nodding along with everything that comes out of his mouth. Occasionally she will input her own thoughts and opinions on the matter in between, but it is never condescending. Wendy empathizes with him completely and she doesn’t downplay or belittle his feelings. By the time he’s done, he feels like a balloon whose air has completely fizzled out. He has never felt more validated.
“I think you should tell them about this,” Wendy says after a minute of silence, adjusting her scarf.
“Wendy, that’s the whole reason I came to Starks, why would you think that would do anything now?”
“Well for one, you’ve had time to think about it,” she lists off one finger. “And you seem much more relaxed. You can’t really communicate well when you’re all heated. I would know.”
“Your point?”
“If you tell them about how you’ve been feeling lately, they should understand because they’re your friends-”
“I’m cutting you off right now, Wendy. That’s not how that works.” Kyle pauses. “Or at least how we work. When I’m angry, they just ignore me until it’s over.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. Wendy looks at him incredulously.
“What about Stan?”
Kyle scoffs, “he doesn’t care.”
“Don’t say that, he’s your best friend. There’s no way he doesn’t.”
“Isn’t he your ex? Why are you saying this?”
“Kyle,” Wendy starts, she looks mildly annoyed. “That was when we were like, ten. I’m pretty sure dating doesn’t count when you’re ten.” She looks thoughtful. “Unless you’re Tweek or Craig.”
Kyle snorts, “Yeah, ok. Whatever…” And after a moment he says, “I’ll think about it.”
“Good,” Wendy says with a smug smile.
Kyle feels a lot lighter, like weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He smiles to himself, it was really good to get that off his chest. He doesn’t usually like admitting when someone’s right but…
“You were right.” Kyle feels himself fumble when he realizes he once again has Wendy’s undivided attention. This time feels a little different. He pushes through his slight embarrassment. “About this. It did help.” The smile Wendy gives him is very bright.
“I’m glad it did.”
They continue to stare and smile at each other until Kyle speaks up again.
“So you said you like to read here sometimes?”
Wendy’s eyes light up so bright they look like stars. She’s practically beaming. Her smile is so contagious, he can’t stop smiling while she raves about the newest book series she’s picked up.
They jump from topic to topic. From books, to school assignments, to hobbies, Kyle feels like he knows more about Wendy than he ever thought he would. He thinks he’s completely fine with that. Eventually their conversation dies down but the silence between them is comfortable and secure. Kyle thinks he could continue walking by Wendy’s side forever like this. It’s oddly nice.
By now, they’ve been walking together for quite some time and the sun is beginning to set. As they walk, Kyle’s shoulder brushes against Wendys’ and that leads him to the realization that they’ve gotten a lot closer than they were before. Kyle’s heart starts to beat a little quicker. From the anxiety? He isn’t even sure Wendy realizes it or if she even cares.
If she did notice and she didn’t care then there’s no reason Kyle should be worried about this little fact. He should be completely normal about this. Subtly, he tries to smooth out his breathing to regulate his heart beat through his nose. All that does, however, is burn his lungs because the air is so cold.
The temperature has dropped considerably and it reminds Kyle that he forgot to bring his gloves. The wind has become so cold that it feels like it's slapping him in the face. South Park is no stranger to the cold, but Kyle is usually prepared for it. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Wendy look over to him a little worriedly.
“You must be cold,” Wendy says matter-of-factly.
“No,” he lies but a particularly strong gust of wind makes him shiver. His hands are shaking a little and the tips feel a bit numb, he regrets forgetting to wear his gloves. Wendy laughs at the display and shakes her head.
“There’s no need to be all macho about it, c’mere,” she says playfully. Kyle comes closer like she asks. She’s holding out her hands like she’s waiting to receive something. When Kyle doesn’t move, she huffs and grabs his hands. Then she starts rubbing hers against his.
Kyle feels a little stupid for not realizing what she wanted to do sooner. It doesn’t matter anymore, the objective has become to get warmer. Wendy comes closer and starts exhaling on their joined hands. Her breath is warm and he starts doing the same.
He’s so cold he doesn’t realize they have gotten even closer. Their foreheads are practically butting against each other. But his hands are warmer though, so he can’t bring himself to care.
Wendy stops and looks up at him.
“Is that better?”
She has dark brown eyes, Kyle thinks. He nods. Wendy smiles. In such close proximity, Kyle swears he can almost see little freckles on the tip of her nose. It’s pink. His nose must be pink too. He smiles back.
“I should lend you my scarf,” she says suddenly. She starts taking it off.
“No, I’m fine. It’s yours. You’ll be cold.”
She chuckles, “your cheeks are so pink, I think you need it more.” Kyle’s face feels a little warmer. She has already taken it off and tries handing it to him, but he makes no indication he’ll take it from her.
Wendy rolls her eyes and steps forwards to wrap it around his neck. He doesn’t move. After she finishes tucking it in, she giggles. She’s grinning like this is the most fun she’s ever had.
“There,” she says finally. Kyle allows himself to grin back because she can’t see it through the scarf. He’s not sure if the ache in his cheeks is from the cold or from smiling so hard. It is pretty cold.
When he breathes in, he smells lemon, and maybe a little lavender too. It smells good. Fresh.
“My weather app said it’s going to get a lot colder. Maybe a snowstorm. We should probably head home.”
Kyle squashes down his disappointment. It’s too cold. He’s not thinking right.
“Yeah,” Kyle says dumbly. “I should-” he gestures to the scarf stupidly and Wendy smiles.
“Keep it, yeah? I live closer by. You can return it during our homeroom,” Wendy suggests.
“Yeah,” Kyle says. And then, “thanks, by the way. For-. Yeah, thanks.” He feels stupid but Wendy doesn’t seem to mind.
“Of course, maybe we should-” Wendy shrugs. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool.”
“Cool.”
By this time, he thinks they are both grinning like madmen and his cheeks ache harder. He can’t stop smiling.
Eventually they exchange farewells and Kyle thinks he has never felt so light walking home before. The argument has been long forgotten and all he can do is breathe in the lemon lavender scent from Wendy’s striped scarf.
It’s nice.
When he comes home, he rushes into his room so no one can ask him where he got his scarf.
Later, he’ll wonder if he should wash it. He’ll do it and definitely not feel disappointment when the lemon lavender scent is gone.
He’ll wait for the bus with his friends and they’ll wonder why he isn’t still angry with them. He’ll have the scarf neatly folded in his backpack.
When Kyle gets to homeroom, Wendy will already already be there and for the first time, they will acknowledge each other and say good morning. Kyle will return her scarf and say his thanks and Wendy will say ‘anytime’. They won’t speak for the remainder of the school day, but they will exchange knowing glances all throughout their shared classes.
Then Kyle will walk home in an unusually good mood and he’ll think about the scarf. When he gets home, he’ll think about the lemon lavender scent.
For now, he lies in his bed, thinking about Stark’s Pond while wearing the scarf around his neck.