Chapter Text
“Shizun, do you really want to kill me?”
It is at this moment that Shen Qingqiu’s entire resolve crumbles. Those simple words stir deep emotions into the very depths of his heart. They are too plaintive and moving, and Shen Qingqiu’s defences against his Binghe have never been too strong to begin with.
It’s not like he had not tried to carry out this brutal quest the system had so heartlessly assigned to him; he really had. He had been determined in his endeavour. He had made sure he would carry out the Endless Abyss plotline and fulfil his duties. He knew the importance of the Protagonist Satisfaction Points. Not to mention, the cost of failing was too great to even consider it as a possibility. No, not completing this quest was out of the question.
But how could he?
How could he look at his white lotus Binghe, begging him for mercy and forgiveness, and then ignore it all and push him into the Abyss? He wishes he was as unfeeling as the original goods, the one who had viciously pushed the doe-eyed protagonist and blackened him to the core with this final act of cruelty.
But he is not that man. He is Shen Qingqiu, and he raised this sweet-tempered, ever-docile, and loveable disciple of his. He has had endless conversations with him on every topic under the sun. He has patted Luo Binghe’s head gently whenever he has made particularly astute observations. He has eaten delicacies cooked by him day after day. He has poured all his heart into taking care of the young boy.
It is a terrible, terrible moment to have an epiphany that all his actions had been done not just to safeguard his life in the future but also because he has genuinely grown to care for the boy. At the cusp of doom, Shen Qingqiu realises he does not have the heart to hurt his Binghe.
He adores Binghe. He really does. He is the light of his eyes and the joy of his idle days.
“I don’t want to kill you.” Shen Qingqiu answers, his breath hitching in his throat. He makes a futile attempt to devise reasons and justifications to carry out this divine punishment intended for Binghe, but he cannot. Everything sounds exceedingly lame and stupid and forced. Fuck hardships making the blade stronger! He does not want his Binghe any stronger than he already is. He, Shen Qingqiu, the peak lord of Qing Jing Peak, is strong and skilled enough to protect them both if need be! No need to subject his Binghe to such brutality. Maybe Binghe’s harem would be a little smaller if he does not fall into the Abyss, and so what? It was already big enough in Proud Immortal Demon Way! Too big! Many of the women in his harem did not even deserve to breathe the same air as his Binghe did, much less be his consorts and wives! Binghe will survive with a smaller harem, Shen Qingqiu is certain.
【 Warning! Abandoning the critical quest “The Endless Abyss and Endless Hatred, a Sky Filled with Crystal Frost and Tears of Blood” halfway through would result in the deduction of 20,000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points. 】
“Then so be it!” Shen Qingqiu all but roars mentally. He clutches at his temples as an excruciating headache settles in accompanied by a cacophony of noisy alarms set off by the system. His hand lets go of Xiu Ya and it lies abandoned at his side. “I don’t care. I am sick of it. I am sick of your rules and unfair whims. What would the deduction mean? My death in this world, right? Well, that is fine with me! It’s much better than the fate that will await me after Binghe’s return from the Abyss. At least my Binghe would not be corrupted beyond repair. If this death of mine would spare me from the endless torture and humiliation and Binghe from being blackened to the core, then I can call it a fair deal.”
“Shizun?” Binghe says hesitatingly, cautiously taking a step forward. He can see the turmoil his teacher is in, and he has never hated himself more for it. He knows his master must be struggling between doing what is right and doing what is suitable for Binghe. He hates himself for practising the demonic arts. He hates his demon blood. He hates being the reason behind his Shizun being in a distressed state.
【 Warning! The system will activate self-destruction if the task is not carried out within the next one minute. Additionally, 40,000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points would be deducted. 】
Really! This system is too shameless! It really wants the fulfilment of the Endless Abyss arc, does it not? Well, Shen Qingqiu is petty enough to deny the system this pleasure!
And what is it if there is a deduction of 10,000 points or 40,000 points? It all just means a certain death. This system is too dumb and too unfair! It always has been. Shen Qingqiu hates it.
【 59… 58 … 57 … 】
“Like I care!” Shen Qingqiu finally screams in response to the system. Luo Binghe flinches backwards again at this sudden outburst, teetering right at the edge of the Endless Abyss.
“Shizun?” He asks, voice trembling, eyes red with unshed tears.
Shen Qingqiu feels his soul tearing apart, bit by bit. Is it the sorrow of seeing his precious Binghe for the last time ever? Is it the pain of his body breaking down and turning to dust? Is it the agony of making a choice he thought he had already made only to reconsider it in the face of everything? He is not sure. Nothing has hurt quite like this. Nothing will hurt like this ever.
He doesn’t think he regrets the choice he is making. How could he blacken his sweet white lotus? How could he be a beast who hurts a person whose heart is as pure as a little lamb’s? No, Shen Qingqiu has no regrets.
【 46… 45 … 44… 】
Peak lord Shen Qingqiu really does not regret the choice he is making. He only regrets that he has less than a minute to spend with Binghe. He’d have tried spending more time with him if he had known it would all come down to this. He is not the sentimental sort; he had never been, but the panic of suddenly having too little time in the world Shen Yuan had grown to love has broken all the restrictions he had put on himself. His entire persona of an immortal master is chipping away as if someone is carving out his real self from this body.
He realises he is terrified.
Naturally, he tries to seek comfort from the person most familiar to him. Thus, Shen Yuan stumbles towards his disciple, who looks relieved for the first time since this entire mess unfolded. Perhaps Binghe sees the love his Shizun has for him on his face and feels they can salvage this situation. It is not beyond remedy. He can explain himself. His Shizun would understand. He always does. He rushes forward to meet his Shizun, catching him by his waist. He is astonished at his boldness but too enraptured by this contact to draw back and care about etiquette.
【 35… 34 … 33… 】
“Binghe.” Shen Yuan says, grabbing his disciple close to him. When did Binghe grow so tall? He used to only come up to his chest a few years ago. Now, he is as tall as him. Nevermind that. Never mind anything at all. He is content hugging him till they are pressed together, chest to chest, faces buried in each other’s necks. Softly, Shen Yuan whispers, “Binghe, be good.”
“I- I will, Shizun!” Binghe answers earnestly after a pause, his throat choked up with tears and entirely stunned by the sudden affection he is receiving. It is everything he ever asked for and more. To hold Shizun close to him like this is more fantastic than any beautiful dream he has ever had. “Shizun, I will never misuse my demon blood. I will never harm others. I only wanted to become strong to protect our peak.” To protect you.
“Good.” Shen Yuan replies, and suddenly, his knees are too weak to support his body. He slips under Binghe’s arms and onto the cold, hard ground while his disciple cries out in alarm.
“Binghe, be good.” He murmurs, repeating his previous words. His next words are impossibly soft and too low for the intended recipient to hear. “Take care. Have a good life. Don’t let my death be in vain. And please be more picky about your harem quality this time.”
“Shizun! What is happening? Are you alright? Is it Without A Cure?” Binghe looks like he is going to start crying out of fear. He holds Shen Yuan in his arms, his grip firm and desperation and confusion evident in his voice. What is happening to Shizun? He was fine just now. He was fine when he was about to push him into the Abyss! And then he was fine when he was hugging him with such tenderness. What is this abrupt change? Why is Shizun so weak and pale out of the blue?
【 20… 19 … 18… 】
Shen Yuan really hopes he is not doing something dumb. He hopes he made his second chance at life worthwhile. He hopes this Binghe will not be as ruthless as the other one because he likes him just the way he is. He likes him more than what he was in that stupid atrocity of a stallion novel.
Such a fine young man he raised. So handsome and gentle and kind and well-mannered. He is unbearably proud of the way his Binghe turned out. Really, his disciple is the perfect man, with exceptional culinary skills, too! Oh, what wouldn’t he give to have one last bowl of congee prepared by Binghe before he goes…
【 15… 14 … 13… 】
Why is this one minute the shortest and longest he has ever experienced? Why is it not getting done with? Shen Yuan fears he will die of anxiety before the system gets a chance to have a go at him.
Should he run for it and push Binghe into the Abyss? Should he make this gamble? Should he try saving his life for the time being and deal with a blackened Binghe later?
【 10… 9 … 8… 】
“Shizun! Shizun, please look at me! I’m giving you my spiritual energy. Why is it not working? What am I doing wrong? Shizun, talk to me! Tell this disciple what ails you!”
Binghe is sobbing and shaking Shen Yuan’s fragile body, looking as pitiful as a helpless maiden. Shen Yuan knows he is going to die willingly because he can’t hurt this soft-hearted youth any more than he already has.
【 5… 4 … 3… 】
“This master would never let any harm come to you.” Shen Yuan murmurs, his hand gently patting the top of Binghe’s head one final time, who lets out an animalistic howl of anguish and hopelessly clutches his Shizun’s cold hands.
How did it all come down to this? This was not how Luo Binghe had imagined finishing the Immortal Alliance Conference. All he had wanted to do was make his Shizun proud. How did it all go so horribly wrong?
【 2… 1 … 0 】
It’s done.
【 The quest “The Endless Abyss and Endless Hatred, a Sky Filled with Crystal Frost and Tears of Blood” has failed. 40,000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points have been deducted. Self detonation activating. 】
Death is painful.
【 Your role as the scum villain Shen Qingqiu is over due to critical quest failure. As a result, the system will now have to suspend your gameplay. 】
The last thing Shen Yuan remembers before everything plunges into darkness is Binghe’s face contorted with indescribable pain, crying out for him.
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