Chapter Text
201M2023 BC.
It’s 10 AM, the weather is nice. I enter the NasCar as Naser waves goodbye and wishes me luck. He isn’t going with me. I look at the address in my cellphone and go head on. I’m nervous, but why? While I try to focus on the road it’s impossible for me to overlook how I ended up here, how bad times and good times lead me here alike. Failures and success.
I remember the world slowing down, those weren’t normal slides on the projector, they were photos, photos of a human teen badly photoshopped among anime chicks. My initial shock was replaced by a feeling of disgust. Disgust for the human sitting next to me and disgust at being next to him. Disgust at Anon. I remember remaining still in my seat while averting my eyes from him as his world came crashing down when he realized he was left alone to run away from the mockery. I ran away too, but later, and not to chase him but to hide myself from the embarrassment I faced by association. I took a couple of days away from school and Anon, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with that.
After I returned, it seemed that most forgot or didn’t care enough to continue the ridicule, on top of the many Spears threats of suplexing any student that partake in bullying. Apparently, Trish was behind that shitshow, and it bring her a fuckton of problems. That wasn’t surprising to me but it was seeing Reed surprisingly chill about it. Trish said that Anon got what he deserved, that she did what she had to do to protect the gang, the band. Reed made the argument that Anon never understood Trish and never wanted to do so. At the end, Reed just followed the path of least resistance and so did I.
I heard little from Anon the rest of the year, apparently, the only people that even tried to talk to Anon were Naomi, Rosa and Stella. I was surprised that Naser wasn’t on the list but that wasn’t my problem. Ironically the person who constantly talked about him much to my confusion and discomfort was Trish and, naturally, it was all shittalk about how he was still a weeb freak and a bad influence to society itself. I feel like an idiot and ashamed to admit that it took me very long to realize that she only wanted to keep my disgust alive, so I didn’t try to approach him. I feel even worse admitting that it worked even if I did miss him.
The rest of the year went smoothly, and despite Trish’s bitch behavior we managed to get a chance to play at prom and for its final school performance VVURM DRAMA wasn’t booed from stage, granted I played my guitar. I looked for Anon in the crowd, with hopes of apologizing to him and maybe making up for my fuckup with a slow dance. I didn’t see him that night and neither did I dance.
On graduation day, I saw Anon quickly go to take his diploma, the only people who seemed to really care about it were Spears, Naomi, Rosa, Stella and Naser to a lesser degree. There wasn’t anybody else for him, not even his parents, and as fast as he arrived, he left the stage. That day I felt terrible about leaving him and having avoided him since the presentation incident and I tried to approach him to at least congratulate him, but he was already gone when I began looking for him. That was the last time I saw him, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. “Whatever”, I thought too prideful to admit or even acknowledge the true extent of how wrong I was.
I tried to give VVURM DRAMA a serious shot after graduation even if I was "suggested” by my parents and Naser to have a backup plan just in case. To their surprise, we fared very well in town, we even won a plaza at Caldera Fest even though that year it was canceled due to unfortunate meteorological conditions. Then followed arguably the best two years of my life yet.
I got my time to shine and prove to everyone that they were wrong, I felt at top of the world, suddenly everyone only had praise for me, I had finally discovered my true potential, and it felt great. The band made friends and connections. The confidence boost helped me to find the courage to talk to Naser and start fixing our fucked-up sibling bonds and our relationship with our parents. I even thought about contacting Anon and checking on him too, to give him the apology he deserved and to salvage our past friendship, but I felt that it would be awkward at best and cruel at worst, so I decided against it. I was and am afraid of being rejected because I know that I deserve it.
The newfound fame didn’t come free, last year, it was hard to keep on with the band after Trish became the DeFacto manager for setting up our most successful gigs, I really didn't care as long as we didn’t play with two stupid basses, she tried to push on that shit again but I refused and, in exchange, she expected nothing else away from perfection out of VVRUM DRAMA. It was hard but it paid off, last year was a great year for the band. On the other hand, Reed seems almost unphased with our success, he changed very little if anything, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
Last week, at new year's meeting to discuss the band’s future, the fucking two basses' idea came back but this time I knew what I wanted and what I didn’t and stood my ground against the idea. It was a heated argument to say the least, and of course Trish had to bring Anon to it.
“If it wasn’t for that fuckin’ skinnie we would be twice, no, thrice as great! But you had to listen to that freak! Why do you even still play the guitar? You should have been done with the guitar the moment we were done with him. I got us here and you won’t listen to me?”, Trish screamed to me and, of course, I didn’t remain silent.
“Playing two basses is fuckin’ retarded. If it wasn’t for him, we would still suck ass. Hell, if anyone got us here was him for not being retard enough like you or a pussy like me to keep the band away from something so simple as playing the fucking guitar!”. Needless to say, the night ended with each one of us fuming at our homes.
I ended telling everything to Naser who, naturally, disagreed with Trish ideas and provided useful advice, like get a real manager to help the band and to maintain us as equals. Then proceeded to say something that would be the reason I’m driving at this moment.
“No offense but, you know? It really was Anon who pushed up the band, not only the guitar but also the concert at Uncle Moe’s”, he sighted sadly, “I wonder how’s the man doing. Have you talked to him since graduation? I haven’t been able to contact him after that”.
I told him that neither had I.
“That’s a shame, I wanted to apologize to him”. Now that was surprising, I asked what for.
“Remember that the day after the presentation incident you refused to go to school and wouldn’t talk to anybody? He didn’t go either. I ended up assuming that he was somehow responsible for your state and... I acted like a jerk to him. Only days later I learned that after the presentation someone caused him to trip down the stairs at the entrance of the school and he was physically unable to attend. Raptor Jesus, I even shoved him against the lockers! I tried to apologize, but he avoided me like the plague, not that I blame him”.
I felt pain in my chest, it was that bad for Anon and I ended up leaving him alone when he needed someone the most. I told Naser that I would try and contact Anon, I need to apologize to him, it’s finally time to do so. Reed told me that he would take care of Trish, so the band can wait a little. This week I tried looking for Anon to no avail even with the help of Naser and some of my friends. Turns out there is more than one bald young adult human here in Volcadera, to my surprise we’ve discovered a handful, but not the one I’m looking for.
Anyways, last night one of Reed’s friends, some junkie micro raptor that volunteered to help, and whose name I didn’t ask, told the group that he found a lead about someone that matched the description, he was clearly high so I didn’t paid him much attention, but then, to my surprise, he added: “Some Mouse lad, I think, but that woman refused to answer my questions and threatened to call 911”. I felt dread eating me from inside out. What woman? Was Anon with a woman? I don’t know why I felt that way, but I suddenly had the urge to squeeze out more details, turns out it is a bad idea to shake up a drugged micro raptor. Dude could barely handle whatever shit he was on and ended up running down the place in a drug induced adrenaline rush until Naser managed to punch him out cold. The only extra thing I ended up obtaining was an address.
And I have finally arrived at my destination. It’s a block of flats. Now that’s surprising, how did Anon end up here? I park the NasCar and head to the building.
As I enter, a T-rex in security uniform approaches me, then freezes.
“Holy shit. Are you Fang from VVRUM DRAMA?”, he said, shocked. Great, a fan, that should make things easier.
“Fang I am”, I replied shooting finger guns. “Nice to meet you... uhh”
“Connor. I’m a big fan”, he hastily replies.
“Well, nice to meet you Connor!”. I said dramatically, like when I’m up on stage. He looks amazed. “I’m looking for someone, can you lend me a hand?” I ask casually.
“Of course I can. I was about to ask the motive of your visit since you don’t live here, anyway”. He said as he smiled. “I would sure as hell know if Fang were living at my workplace, I would have already asked for an autograph”, he added jokingly. “...and a pic.”, he muttered shyly.
“Well, I never say no to a fan asking for an autograph”, his face lit up at my words, “and if you help me with this-” I show him the address on my cell phone “-you get a photo, good deal, isn’t it?”. I never say no to a photo either, but if it is of a little help to the search...
I can see how he slightly bops up and down in excitement while he looks at the cellphone screen. This is what I live for, I like it, it feels good to be recognized, to be able to bring happiness to my fans. It’s the same sensation of being on the stage and all the worries leave my body and are replaced by boldness as I see the security guy being barely able to contain his joy even though the moment only lasts seconds.
“That’s easy enough”, he says as he walks to an intercom full of buttons, he turns his face to me and asks, “What is the motive of your visit?”.
“Tell him that is Fang, that I just came to talk”, I answer.
Here I come dweeb, enough of making excuses for me, I can apologize and make it right. Even if you don’t want to see me, I know that I would end up regretting not doing this now. We can make up for lost time, even if you have someone else in your life now.
The security guard exchanges some words with the distorted voice of the intercom.
“She says you can knock on the door, and she’ll open”, he says smiling. She, I tense up. No, relax, I can do this. “I can guide you”, he offers.
“Thanks, Connor”, I accept his offer. “How about you get your autograph and pic?”, I offer to him.
He stands slightly boping up and down in excitement as I jiggle.
A pic and an autograph later, I’m in front of a door. I exhale deeply, here goes nothing.
I knock on the door, it opens, and I am petrified as I see a familiar face.
“Nice to see you, Fang! I’m surprised you came to see me, come inside so we can talk.”
What are YOU doing here? What is this supposed to mean? Where is Anon? Several questions flash inside my head but I only manage to ask one thing.
“Naomi?”