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Dormé could just imagine the exact moment Sabé found out.
First, confusion. Then the overwhelming betrayal, followed by the guilt. It shouldn’t be a betrayal. Followed closely by the anger. Yet it was.
The next morning Sabé had walked out of that room with shaky arms and legs. Her eyes, that had been so filled with determination ‘‘for Padmé,’’ were fractured, like the glass she knocked over trying to make her caf.
Dormé watched as she went through the motions of washing her face, brushing her teeth, her hair. Every time she looked in the mirror she flinched.
It was exactly how Dormé was when she found out.
They were alike, in that favor.
She watched as Sabé sat down, and finally broke.
So Dorra held Tsabin like he had held her.
Somehow, at some point, Dormé’s dress slipped down, and Sabé’s underwear ended up on the floor. They fucked like nothing mattered, because everything did.
In an odd way it helped. The heartache felt a little lighter now that someone else shared her pain. Someone who understood, someone who, if Dormé was being honest, felt it stronger than she did. Sabé had always been the closest handmaiden, aide, friend that Padmé had. It used to bother her, made her jealous. Ironically she found it almost a blessing now.
Padmé came back, like she always did. But this time felt different.
Dormé sat on the floor, watching Sabé change into the handmaiden outfit. The one she’d imagined herself in years ago with equal amounts of admiration and envy. It felt like a private moment she was intruding on, but then again privacy was unheard of when one was Padmé’s handmaiden.
She didn’t mind before, but now Padmé had changed. Or maybe she had minded.
With trembling fingers, Sabé began brushing her hair. But for right now she was Amidala, so Dormé stopped her to do it herself.
“I put my heart inside her palms.”
Sabé’s sudden words startled both her and Dormé. They were too used to the shadows when Padmé wasn’t around to brighten everything.
“They’ll never understand us,” Dormé agreed somberly.
“I hope they never do.”
Dormé had no idea what Tsabin said to Padmé, but she knew that they’d never see each other again. Not for a long while.
Watching Sabé leave felt freeing. She was gone, escaped from the confines of the image that was Queen Amidala. Now it was time to focus on other things. It was Dormé’s turn to protect Senator Amidala.
She wouldn’t give it up for anything. She couldn’t. Not yet.