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“So, I want your two to work together and turn this area into a garden!” Charlie said enthusiastically, motioning to the small courtyard. “I know it’s small, but that’s why I need you two. You both know dimensional magic. So just, well, have fun with it! The only requirement is having enough empty plots for everyone okay?”
Alastor’s grin didn’t waver, but he didn’t look pleased either. “I assure you my dear, I could do a splendid job by myself.”
“And I could do a better one!” Lucifer chimed in “Why together?”
“Yeah, I need you two to stop fighting. It’s uh great that you fix the damage promptly but weeelllll-”
“You got into a physical fight in the middle of Charlie’s lesson about solving problems without violence. Which completely undermined the whole lesson.” Vaggie cut in
“Ah fuck, Charlie I’m so sorry.” Lucifer groaned; he hadn’t actually been listening to the lesson. Not like he was trying for redemption. What a bad time to finally give into the urge of smashing the bellhops kneecap with his cane. He’d gotten an angelic dagger through the wing for his trouble... Yeah that’s bad. “I’m sure we can er, figure it out Sweetie. One garden coming right up!”
“Whatever you need my dear, a garden is a lovely idea.”
Charlie clapped excitedly “Great! So, you two take your time, plan this out. I can’t wait to see what you come up with!”
“No fighting.” Vaggie added sharply as they left.
Lucifer snapped his fingers and the space around them expanded to a more comfortable size. “There, that should do. What are we thinking for the gardening plots? Raised beds?”
“Why your Majesty, I would have expected you to have more faith in your daughter!” Alastor admonished, his magic spreading out to expand the space further. “We want future residents to join in on the gardening as well.”
This absolute prick. Another snap and the space got even bigger “Well that’s an excellent point, maybe we should add a sitting area with how relaxing this place will be.”
“Wonderful idea!” Somehow that managed to sound insulting “You know, while I have no intention of redemption gardening, I would love to grow some vegetables and herbs. It is my job to keep everyone well fed after all.” Another expansion.
“Ugh why just veggies?” The space expanded again “I’ll add some fruit trees.”
More space “Well then, I’ll need to add fruit that's not just apples. Hm wonder if I could get Paw Paws? I’ll have to make some inquires.”
“Oh wow, fuck I haven't had Paw Paws in ages, and I wasn’t just going to do Apples!” Now Lucifer was pretty powerful. Less so after the fall, but still powerful. Dimensional magic was not his area though. He could make temporary spaces with very little effort. A properly anchored pocket dimension? That was a whole other thing. Still, he was far more powerful than this Sinner. So, to end this back and forth he pushed the space out to maximum size. Ha! Shit he overextended it.
The area around them warped, seeming to fold in on itself while also expanding. Creating a trippy effect with the streaks of color blurring the edges of reality. “It appears you have destabilized the space.” Alastor said snidely, his magic weaving into Lucifer’s and... Stabilizing it somehow?”
“What? How did you do that?” He even added a scant few inches of space. Probably just to prove he could expand it farther then him, asshole.
Alastor cackled, swinging his cane to gesture at the far side of the newly created space. “You are far too used to using raw power to solve your problems. Do you even understand dimensional laws? You simply expanded it further than a single anchor point could handle. I added a second anchor. We’ll need to add a physical door there.”
Seething, Lucifer snapped his fingers. He created a sky, clouds, grass, the temperature lowered, and finally a sun rose above them. “I’m not the Angel of Dimensional Integrity Al. I am the Morning Star, the Light Bringer, I am an Angel of Creation! I made the sun, all the stars in the sky, galaxies and nebulas. I made black holes, things on a scale your mortal mind couldn’t even comprehend! Do not belittle me for not understanding fucking dimensional magic!”
Alastor wasn’t even looking at him, frozen by the feeling of sun on his skin for the first time in nearly a hundred years. “.... Understood your Majesty, I apologize.”
Well, that was weird. “Uh Al? You good? The sun’s not real, my powers were corrupted when I fell. I simulated it best I could but it’s fake.”
“I believe that only you can tell your Majesty. It feels perfect.”
“Really? Well, I guess it’s easier to simulate in a smaller space. I tried to make a sun in Pride early on, didn’t work at all.” He looked around “Well that will help the plants.”
“Indeed.” Alastor agreed “I’ll no longer need to order grow lights. Maybe a water feature? Since we have all this space. First though.” A low brick Wall manifested abound the edge of the artificially created space. It looked like the rolling fields went on forever, but they didn’t. As amusing as it would be to watch people run into the invisible wall, Charlie wouldn't appreciate it. Alastor was sure plenty of idiots would try jumping the wall anyways. With no one to blame but themselves, it would be even funnier. By the time he finished, Lucifer had added a lake.
“Duck pond!” Lucifer said proudly
“Hm, when does a pond become a lake?”
“Y’know I’m not sure. Pretty confident this is a pond though.”
“If it is, it’s right on the cusp of being a lake.”
“Ah who cares, we need to fill the space somehow.” With a wave of his hand apple trees sprouted up, loaded with fresh juicy fruit.
“And the rest of the fruits your Majesty?” Alastor bit out, creating a path around the lake.
“Gonna need seeds. I can’t just pop living things into existence. I pulled the apple and grass seeds from the palace garden.”
“Well, I guess the next step is deciding on flora, then we can move onto fauna.”
“Animals? Yes, we absolutely need animals! I can get some stuff from the lower rings. The only ducks in Pride are cannibal ducks, and they’re mean.”
“I was actually planning on ordering earth animals sinc-”
“Earth Ducks!?!”
Alastor stared down at the literal Devil, who was practically sparkling with excitement. Looking the spitting image of his excitable daughter. “You were actually quite dignified and intimidating a moment ago. Care to channel that? It’s far less tedious to deal with.”
“Y’know the great thing about being the King of Hell? I’m the most powerful person down here, so I can act however I want, and there's not a damn thing you, or anyone else can do about it. Now tell me how we’re getting earth ducks. Is it illegal? Because if so I’m willing, but we’ll need to be careful. I can’t afford more bullshit with heaven right now.”
Sighing in annoyance, Alastor pulled out a business card. “There are no laws against it, so technically legal. Hell is inhospitable to most earth animals so it’s mostly a meat trade, with a few eccentrics who have the resources to set up habitat. There is a strict rule against endangered animals. Ducks shouldn’t be a problem, and we do have this lake. Of course I was more thinking bees for the flowers. Maybe some songbirds and fish, I’m sure Charlie would like butterflies. We will need to pick flora accordingly.”
“Hm, the garden is getting complicated. Maybe we should sit down and plan this out instead of throwing things in.”
“Yes, we seem to have reached the point where a plan is needed.” Alastor conjured up a blueprint. “Charlie did tell us to take our time, no need to rush.”
Admittedly they were both having fun now. Sure, they didn’t always see eye to eye, but neither wanted to cross into “Fighting” territory. So, they compromised where they could, and trashed anything they couldn’t agree on. Which was a lot but eh, whatever worked.
“How about this.” Alastor suggested hours later, after they trashed multiple ideas for one of the last few spaces they had left to design. “We have five spaces left. I take one, you take one, and we leave the other three clear for future projects.”
“Uh, last two spaces actually.” Lucifer said sheepishly “We kinda sorta, forgot the actual garden.”
“.... Oh dear, we did, didn’t we? Well, that’s a tad embarrassing, but easily fixed. I believe this space here would be best. Next to where I put my vegetable garden, best to keep it all together. We can move the butterfly garden over by the sycamore tree.” And really how did they plan out Alastor’s Garden without remembering the very thing they were sent here to do. This was just sad.
“Cool cool, and uh yeah, we can each do our own thing. But!” He glared at the Radio Demon “Only something Charlie would approve of. No shooting ranges or cannibal kitchens.”
“But of course! Why would I do anything that would displease dear Charlie? Now I’ll go order our agreed upon materials if you want to create the garden area?”
Lucifer perked up “Really? Free reign over the garden? The part Charlie actually asked for?”
“Within reason, it has to match. Other than that, it’s dirt patches, by all means design away.”
“Matching yep, I can match. And your only ordering things on the list, right?”
“Where’s the trust? I’m off, ta.” Alastor disappeared into the shadows leaving Lucifer to look over the soon to be garden.
Alastor’s own garden was three large raised beds made with dark wood. Now they were dark red, which would match the rainbow of smaller raised beds that Lucifer was about to create. Matching! Lucifer was great at matching. So, rainbows, he summoned up a block of raised beds in 7X7 rows. Roy G Biv! Yeah no, not good enough, not fun enough. Rockin the Pride though. More individuality, if each one was different, no one would forget which one was theirs. Deciding to take his time he summoned some paints instead of magicking them done. He liked painting, it was creative and calming.
He wasn’t sure how much time passed, he was in the zone. Hand painting each little masterpiece one by one. He kept most of them fairly simple; Tie dye, leafy vines, pink hearts, a sunset, and various flowers. A few were more detailed, like one with a duck pond and rainbow that Charlie was going to love! He was 4/5ths of the way through, putting the finishing touches on a night sky bursting with fireworks when Alastor returned.
“What is this?”
“Aren't they great? Charlie’s gonna love it!” Lucifer beamed up at him, forgetting their rivalry for the moment.
“...I should not have given you free reign.”
“No, you should not have! But no take backs.” Lucifer teased; he was in a really great mood. He hasn’t had this much fun in ages. “Oh, and just so you know, if you make them boring after I leave, I’m gonna tell Charlie we thought it would be super fun to let everyone paint their own.” He grinned, actually managing to look like the devil with the amount of mischief sparkling in his eyes “Wanna see how many dicks Angel Dust can sneak into a painting?”
Alastor's ears flattened in annoyance ‘Well played Sire. May I paint a few?”
“Uh sure, really?”
“If I am stuck with this, I am at least getting some credit. Because yes, Charlie is going to love it. I’ll finish the rest; you need to grow the plants anyhow. I got all the seeds on our list, with some difficulty. Lunch first however, Charlie informed me you never made your way into the kitchen today.”
Lucifer shrugged, magicking the paint splatters off himself “I don’t even know what time it is.” Remembering the pocket dimension had a day/night cycle he glanced up at the realistic sun “Oh wow past three, yeah I should eat.”
Alastor handed him a box with a still hot grilled sandwich inside. “I found the day escaping me as well.” He pulled out his own sandwich “Thankfully we put in plenty of benches.”
“Yeah, it’s a pretty great garden.” Lucifer laughed, taking a seat next to him to enjoy the view of the pond as he ate.
“At this point, I feel we need to accept that it’s a park. A park that happens to contain a community garden.”
“Yep, it sure is, but hey it’s a pretty great park!”
After that they ate in silence. Partially because you can’t fight if you don’t talk, and partially because they were both starving. “Well, I guess I’ll get to those last seven boxes.” Alastor announced as he finished his sandwich. “All of the seeds are in that box there and labeled.”
“On it, oh and I decided I want the empty spot of the far side of the pond for my project.”
“Very well, I want the one by the boat house.”
“Fine, that leaves the one by the second entrance and the one right before you enter the Japanese cherry grove.”
“Those seeds were very difficult to track down by the way. I don’t know why you insisted so heavily on that particular tree.” Alastor huffed as he went over the paints. Plenty to get started, but he was going to need to pick up a few later. He certainly wasn’t going to ask Lucifer to summon them.
Lucifer dug through the seed box till he found said tree seeds “I’ll grow those first and you'll understand when you smell them.”
“So, you're going to be keeping them perpetually flowering? What about the fruit?”
“Ugh its bitter and tart. That’s why we have other cherry trees for fruit. Oh, and you already conceded the Sakura trees for your fishing boat so stop arguing and let me grow these.” With that he stomped away to grow plants. This place was going to look gorgeous and smell gorgeous damn it!
Despite him saying he would grow them first; he sent all the seeds to the correct places and began the process. Which was difficult actually, he was better with apples. This many different plants at once took focus. Slowly the park burst with colors; flowers, ferns, bushes, and trees came to life. By the time he was done Alastor was on his third garden bed. He defiantly wasn’t as fast, or as good a painter as Lucifer. He wasn’t bad, but Lucifer had been painting before his species existed. Clearly Alastor was aware of his limits, keeping his designs neat and simple to keep them from standing out next to Lucifer’s. His first was unsurprisingly red with black music notes. Probably actual sheet music, but nothing Lucifer recognized at a glance. His second was much more surprisingly sky blue with fluffy white clouds. Probably chosen due to ease. The one he was working on now was a night sky, with very accurate stars. Fair enough.
“I’ll admit, being downwind of those trees is pleasant.” Alastor conceded as he approached “I do have a question however.”
“Shoot.” Lucifer said with a stretch. Man, that took a lot out of him, he needed more food. An apple twisted itself off a nearby tree to float over to him.
“When did Husker get here?”
“Huh?” Lucifer asked around a mouthful of apple. Sure enough, across the way from them, Husk was passed out in the grass. “Did he fall asleep in the sun?”
“Hm, Cats what can you do? Although this place is supposed to be off limits until we are done.” Alastor hummed dangerously, shadows gathering at his feet.
“Oh, leave him alone, technically we only told Charlie we wanted to surprise her. She probably asked Husk to check in.”
“And he fell asleep, such a diligent worker. I suppose we should wake him up and ask why he’s not doing his job.”
“His job is bartending, and no one's even in the hotel right now besides us, him, and Niffty. Let the man sleep he was up all night with Angel Dust. And you’re not listening, you’re already poking him, you jackass.” Lucifer groaned as Husk jolted awake.
“Sleeping on the job Husker?”
Husk jumped to his feet looking sheepish. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep, but Charlie said I’m off till after dinner or if a new resident shows up. She did want me to tell you that she and Vaggie are going out for dinner tonight.”
“Hm, disappointing. I was taking my first crack at Italian food tonight. Oh well, I’m sure Angel can give me better feedback than Vaggie anyways.” Charlie gave terrible feedback, everything tasted perfect, even if she clearly didn’t like it. Sweet girl, to a fault really.
“If it were anyone else, I’d say tread carefully, but I’m not gonna, fer many reasons. On to more important things. What the fuck is all this shit? There’s a sun! And Grass! And.... way more plants then when I fell asleep.”
Lucifer and Alastor both started laughing
“The garden wanted to be a park!” Lucifer choked out
“Just wait until it’s done, we have much more planned.” Alastor added “Oh and keep this to yourself old chum, it is a surprise after all. How did you fall asleep on the ground anyhow?”
Husk looked embarrassed “Well after takin it all in, I laid down, it’s been forever since I’ve felt grass and sunlight. Was supposed to just be for a moment, great nap though.”
“Well since you’re here, might as well get a third option. Anything come to mind when you think of parks?” Lucifer asked to Alastor’s annoyance. “Keep in mind, we already ordered animals.”
“Fuck really? You’re really going all out.” Husk looked around “Actually I have something in storage. I can go grab it.”
With an aggravated burst of radio static, Alastor blocked Husk with his cane. “We certainly never agreed to your mystery addition Husker.”
Husk blinked in surprise, not expecting Alastor’s hostility over a park of all things. “They won’t take up much space, I sincerely think you’ll like em, and I promise it goes in a park. If you hate em, I can put em somewhere else, but I’ve been thinkin of movin em to the hotel anyways.”
“Well, I just love surprises!” Lucifer cut in “Go grab them, it sounds fun.”
“Ugh, fine we shall see.” Alastor huffed, turning on his heel to leave “I need to start on dinner, I’ll finish painting tomorrow.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
The next day Alastor arrived bright and early to see the additions. Lucifer was already waiting for him. Having already started on his project.
“Do you even need sleep?”
“Very little, and only when I’m injured or exert myself. I took a nap before dinner yesterday. Look what Husk brought.” He motioned to a series of small stone tables with matching stools, engraved with game boards. “Three chess and three checkers. I can’t believe you were worried, these fit perfectly.”
“I don’t hate them.” Alastor admitted, thoroughly looking them over. Solid stone, built in storage for the pieces, all in all solid construction. “Maybe someday we’ll get residents who will appreciate them. For now, at least they are aesthetically pleasing. I’ll be at the garden, adding my own creative flair.” With a flourish he disappeared into the shadows.
Grabbing the paint that never seemed to run low, Alastor settled in for another day of painting. Which was fine, he enjoyed doodling, this was similar enough. He’s certainly picked up a brush before. He did have a lot to get through, especially as he expanded the number. 7X7? What was Lucifer thinking? 10X10 was a much better number. Alastor had spent some time coming up with designs, so he was ready to go.
“Hey! Hey wait a minute!” Lucifer appeared in a shower of sparkles “Why so many?”
“Why 7X7?”
“Oh, I was gonna do solid colors at first, in a rainbow, but eh this had more personality.”
“Well 10 X 10 makes much more sense outside of a rainbow.”
“Okay fine. I’ll paint eight more then. You are not claiming you did most of them. We can each do fifty.”
“Fine half then.”
-x-x-x-x-x-
After finishing his painting (all more detailed paintings, he had time) Lucifer went and finished his project, then grabbed lunch for the two of them. When he got back, Alastor was still painting. With an odd mix of smugness and guilt, Lucifer interrupted. “I brought crepes.”
Alastor looked up at him suspiciously, and Lucifer couldn’t help but snicker at the pink paint on his face.
“Yours is savory, chill I know you don’t like sweets. Which is weird but whatever.”
Once again, they ate in silence. Lucifer took the time to look over Alastor’s art. The book shelves were good, why didn’t he think of that? A candy collage was surprising, he would have liked to see Alastor painting that. Probably where the pink paint on his face came from. The most recent one looked like another night sky at a glance but was more of a murky darkness with swirls of green, brightened with fireflies. The radio demon was certainly getting better at painting.
“I finished my project.” Lucifer finally said, breaking the silence.
“And what did you create?” Alastor asked, not sounding at all interested.
Lucifer glared at him “An Amphitheatre.”
“Hm, sounds like Charlie’s going to move her terrible redemption skits out here.”
“Hey Charlie’s skits are not...”
Alastor gave him a bland look.
“.... Ugh fine, just don’t say it to her face.” He loved his daughter, but those skits she had the residents act out were awful. Just cringy and inaccurate nonsense.
“I would never, and I’m offended you think I would!” Alastor exclaimed dramatically, clutching a hand to his chest.
“Sure thing buddy.” He glanced over at Alastor’s empty project space. “I can handle the rest of the boxes if you wanna get started on your thing.”
Vanishing his empty to-go container, Alastor stood abruptly. “I assure you I have it under control. I can’t start until my supplies are delivered tomorrow anyhow. So today I paint.”
“Oh, yeah okay cool. What are you making?”
“And here I thought you just loved surprises your Majesty.”
“Fine keep your secrets. What else is there to do? We’re good till the animals ariv-hey!” Wow Alastor was just walking away from him, rude. He extended his wings and flew after him. “C’mon I need something to do. This has actually been a lot of fun!”
“Maybe if you throw money at them, we can get the necessary animals faster.” Alastor suggested. Eager to get back to his painting, he still had a lot to get through.
“On it!” The king disappeared in a puff of sparkles and cash... cash really?
Shrugging, Alastor pocketed the bills Lucifer probably didn’t realize he dropped and returned to his painting. Sometime later, he was finally down to the last one. He took a moment to admire the one Lucifer had clearly intended for Charlie. It was a charming duck pond with flowers and a picturesque apple tree. Obviously with a stunning rainbow stretched across a clear blue sky. Charlie loved rainbows, given the options she would surely choose this lovely representation of Father and Daughter. With a dangerous grin, Alastor pulled out the glitter paint and got to work.
-x-x-x-x-x-
The next day Lucifer didn’t arrive in the park till late, having spent the day playing, no no, not playing he helped out with the animals. Not their animals, those would be in tomorrow. He at least had the bees now, but he didn’t play er help with bees.... Okay animals are cute, and he was playing with them. He had a calming effect on animals, so it was helping to! He was happy to learn that the place operated with a good amount of integrity. The sinner who ran it used to be a zookeeper, then a park ranger. She was actually lovely, and he was coming around on Charlie’s “Not all sinners are violent sociopaths” Now to check in on the hotel's resident violet sociopath.
Surprisingly there was a new addition when he arrived, but not where Alastor claimed. Did he change his mind? Looking it over Lucifer wondered if Alastor was even responsible. The miniature play area by the second entrance was quite cute, not the deer demons' style at all. At first, Lucifer wondered why anyone would even put in a play place for toddlers. Then he noticed the mud pit, toys, bowls, and cat tree. Animal play place? Fuck yeah! That was cute! The big question was who. Alastor was at least nearby, so he started there.
He found the radio demon in his designated spot, using his shadows to arrange carts. “So, animal play park, did you do that? Because if so, I don’t hate it, but we’re supposed to discuss these things.”
“Hm interesting, I was waiting for you to arrive so I could tell you something similar. If it wasn’t you, and it wasn’t me, who messed with our project?”
“Well Husk is the only other one who knows about it.”
Alastor scoffed, dismissing the notion with a wave of his hand “He wouldn’t dare, and he’s far too lazy.”
The question was answered for them when Angel Dust walked in “Wow! Fuck there’s actual sunlight?”
“No one is allowed to be in here!” Alastor said harshly, radio static building in his voice.
“Ya only told Charlie that Smiles.” Angel pointed out “I mean yes, she said not ta bother ya, but I’m taken off anyways. I gots work early today.” He set his pig Fat Nuggets in the animal encloser “Be good baby, Daddy’ll be back before ya know it.”
The pig squealed excitedly, immediately jumping into the mud pit with a splat.
Lucifer already had his phone out, recording. “I’ll allow it, great addition. You got a lot done in one night. Didn’t your work though? I distinctly remember you leaving after dinner.”
“Work was canceled, like ten minutes after I got there. Vox made Val overhaul the electrical system before recording anything. Turns out ya can’t connect extension cords together. There was like four extension cords plugged inta one like some kinda electricity hub.” Angel laughed at the memory “There was a fire, Vox was so pissed.”
Alastor cackled at the story, the Vees causing damage to their own things was always entertaining.
“So anyways, I came back and decided to let Nuggy run the halls a bit. He needs the exercise; he ran in here and damn you two did a great job! Ya left your blueprints out and I noticed this area was unused. So, I thought “Hey I was planning on bein’ up all night anyways!” One of ya might need ta check the fence thought, that shit was harder than I expected.”
Alastor pocked the fence with his cane, and a board immediately fell off. “Quite, so you just plan on leaving your pet here while you’re at work?”
“Normally he’s stuck in my room all day! I tried lettin him roam once, but his little legs can’t handle the stairs. Remember what happened?”
“He gave up halfway down the stairs and took a nap. Vaggie tripped over him and went face first down half a flight of stairs!” Alastor recalled fondly “I quite enjoyed that.”
“Yeah, shame I missed it, but anyways, this is perfect! Room to run, grass, sunlight, fresh air, I put out food and water, and it’s fenced in so he can’t get inta trouble!” A section of fence collapsed “I can’t build fences.”
Lucifer snapped his fingers and Angel’s shotty fence was replaced with a charming white picket fence. “I think it's a great idea! It’s not like he’ll get in our way.”
“Thanks a bunch Short King!” Angel called, heading for the door “I really need ta get goin, bye now!”
“Bye Angel!” Lucifer called back “Pet area, great idea! Future residents might have pets as well, pets are great.”
“He still should have asked.”
“Sometimes it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission. How about you get back to your mystery project and I’ll double check Angel's work? That slide looks a little shaky. Maybe I’ll add a sandbox, that would be cute.”
“... The hotel has a cat.”
“No sandbox!”
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Alastor had put some sort of shadowy dome around his project. Now, Lucifer could easily see through it if he chose, but he did love surprises. Of course, with Alastor busy, Lucifer had to get all the animals moved in alone... It was great! Talk about a win-win, right? He’s already named all the ducks. Turns out Alastor did sneak in some animals, but jokes on him! Lucifer loved swans too! Not to mention they were a mated pair of lesbian swans, how adorable was that? Olive and Maple were lovely additions, yes, he named them as well. He was currently working on naming the squirrels and was going to name every single animal with a life expectancy of over two years. No one could stop him, this was happening.
“Wow, this place is gettin better and better. What’s Smiles up to?” Angel asked, arriving with a nervous Husk.
“It’s a surprise.” Lucifer said distractedly, watching the squirrels scramble to find shelter after being released.
“I don’t trust it.” Husk muttered, eyeing the dome with a critical eye. “What’s all this?”
“Unloading the animals today, I’m naming the squirrels, thoughts?”
“Cookie.” Angel said without hesitation
Lucifer nodded approvingly “I like Cookie.” Another crate came through a portal he had set up to make this easier. “Oh great, the butterflies are here! Charlie’s going to love these.” With a snap the crate popped open and five different species fluttered out in a mad panic “Sorry about the rough ride everyone!”
“Quick question.” Husk said warily, looking back towards the entrance “Is there any kind of barrier keeping these animals from getting into the hotel? Cause last time I checked there’s no door.”
Lucifer laughed at that “Ah Husk, I’m so glad you said that. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Sprouting his wings in a panic, he took off towards the main entrance.
“Nice catch Whiskers.” Angel cooed, draping himself over the furry bartender “So what do you think tall, dark, and creepy is makin for us?”
“Somthin to one up Lucifer.” Husk grumbled, taking a long drink from his bottle. “That’s all this is, a fuckin dick measuring contest.”
“So true, personally I can’t think of anything this place could need. I’m gonna take so many hammock naps.”
“There are hammocks? Where?” Husk’s tail flicked excitedly at the news. Hammock naps were the best kind of nap.
“Pretty sure every tight cluster of trees has one hidden away. None of them are in view of the path so ya have ta hunt a little. Real private though, it’s nice. I recommend the one in the cherry blossom trees, those things smell amazing.”
Husk groaned “When are they opening this up? Boss said I can’t hang out in here till it’s open. What in the fuck could he possible add to improve this?” Another crate came through the portal “Should we open it?”
“Let’s just move it outa the way.” Angel suggested. “And yeah, this place is pretty perfect, ooooo I could go for a dirty water dog stand. That would make it perfect.”
“Ah fuck, yup a New York style dog sounds great. Oh, good yer back.”
Lucifer landed next to them “Yep all sealed up, oh some of the fish are here.”
“Really glad we didn’t open that.”
“Yeah, we’re gonna get outa here before Smiles sees us and gets pissy. Nuggy is in the pet park, I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Don’t you have the day off?”
Angel snickered “He had so much fun yesterday, he was throwin an absolute tantrum about goin back today. I caved eventually.”
“Immediately” Husk corrected
“Shush you, I’m goin out shopping with Cherri for a bit.”
“Fair enough, have fun.”
“When is this gonna be done?” Husk asked, gazing longingly at a group of trees “I want to take a nap already.”
“Day after tomorrow hopefully. Alastor never gave me a timeline on his thing. The animals are going to need a day to settle though.”
“Oh, that will be plenty of time!” Alastor cheerful voice cut in, causing all three of them to jump in surprise. “Everything should be ready to go on my end in an hour or so! I just need a volunteer to test some of the more experimental machines for me. Any takers?”
“Not it!” Husk and Angel yelled out simultaneously before booking it towards the entrance.
Alastor’s head cocked to the side at an odd, uncomfortable looking angle “Why with a reaction like that it’s like they think I brought in some sort of torture device!”
Rolling his eyes, Lucifer levitated the fish over to the pond. Leaving them in a magic bubble on the surface until they adjusted to the temperature. “I’m surprised you said machines, your kinda tech phobic.”
“I dislike screens and other frivolous additions. Certain things however are nothing but a convenience. After all I grew up in a house without indoor plumbing and never owned a refrigerator while alive. Kitchens have improved greatly, for the most part. I saw an egg opener in the store.”
“Who the fuck needs help cracking an egg?”
“Precisely my point! A lot of great new things have been invented. I don’t just automatically dismiss new things on some sort of principle.”
“You do hate most modern things though?”
“Most certainly yes, not all though.”
Another crate appeared and Lucifer released a flock of songbirds. “So, if it’s not a torture device, why do you need a volunteer to test it? Why not test it yourself if it’s not dangerous?”
“As been previously stated, I don’t like sweets.”
“I volunteer!”
Later, after all the animals were unloaded and settling in, Alastor dropped the barrier. Damn, Lucifer really hated this guy. Food stands, picnic tables, grills, there was even a damn self-serve ice cream shop! Yes, the Amphitheatre is more practical for redemption exercises. The hotel has a kitchen and provides three meals a day plus snacks, they didn’t need this. Lucifer knew what everyone would get excited about though. Hot dogs, warm pretzels with cheese, grilled sandwiches, it was beautiful. Basically, a bunch of street food that could be self-serve, and a few that shouldn’t. “These the experimental machines?”
“Yes, certain things are a smidge too complicated for me to trust the masses with. Mainly anything that involves frying.”
“This one is fucking huge! What’s it make?”
“Observe!” Alastor dramatically pressed the button and a whole potato dropped into a press, the cut potato was dropped into water, the soaked potato was dried while traveling to the oil, fried once, dried again, fried again, then dropped into a bag with seasoning for a shake, and finally emerged though a little window with a cheerful ding. The whole process took twenty minutes. In that time Lucifer had tried a pretzel, mini doughnuts, and a sorbet because yes, the ice cream shop had options.
Lucifer eagerly grabbed the bag “That took a while even with the magic I’m sensing, but I get it. Where did you get these things?” The fries were way to hot, but the devil was unaffected.
“The food overlord is quite the inventor. She also has impeccable standards and reasonable prices. Reasonable for me anyways, results may vary person to person.”
“Fuck these are great, I’m gonna go add cheese from the pretzel stand.”
Alastor grimaced “Why would you ruin perfectly good fries with that processed junk?”
“Do you even like this kind of food?”
Alastor motioned towards the sandwich stand “That’s for Po boys” he motioned towards the grills. “I’m going to be grilling opening day.” He motioned towards the fries maker “A lovely treat on occasion.”
“Food snob.” Lucifer jabbed, shoving loaded fries into his mouth. There was a chip frying machine right next to the pretzels with toppings for nachos, so he had loaded his fries with far more then cheese. “You might want to keep this covered till we open it. If Angel sees this, we will not get him out. He was literally just talking about hot dogs. Wait, he called them dirty water dogs... Eh same thing, right?”
“They are most certainly not; these are dirty water dogs.”
“You don’t even like hot dogs!”
“I like accuracy, and I assure you that water is properly seasoned.”
Groaning, Lucifer stomped back towards the ice cream shop. He needed a banana split for his splitting headache.
-x-x-x-x-x-
The next day they sat next to each other on a park bench, watching the ducks. Alastor eating a Po boy and Lucifer snacking on some nachos and donuts. “Niffty gave me an idea for a final addition.” Lucifer said, brushing cinnamon sugar off his hands.
“Oh?”
“Well, she was talking about feeding ducks while she was alive. Feeding them bread, which is super bad for them. We should add some feeder boxes. I don’t my ducks getting sick, or the fish.”
“Very well, if I can add some warning signs.”
Lucifer snapped his fingers, summoning up feeder boxes. “About ducks? I guess.”
“Not just ducks.” A bunch of signs appeared, and Lucifer took off to check them.
Most were standard “No littering. Only feed the wildlife provided food. No Diving.” Others were admittedly funny “Any flower tramplers with be used as fertilizer.” And Lucifer’s personal favorite “Anyone who harms Lucifer’s ducks will be fed to Alastor’s Alligators.”
“Do you really have gators?” Lucifer asked after looping the park.
“In my room yes.” Alastor stood to throw his wrapper away “Well I have hotel duties to attend that have been sadly neglected. I’ll-” He looked down at Lucifer’s hopeful face “You want to meet my gators, don’t you?”
Lucifer beamed “Well since you’re offering, I won’t say no.”
So they headed up to Alastor’s room, containing his own little piece of the bayou. Where Alastor’s intimidating gators proceeded to act like puppies.
“Oh goodness they are precious!” Lucifer cooed giving scritches to one after another “Are you good widdle babies gonna tear up anyone who hurts my duckies? Yes you are!”
“Please don’t baby talk my gators.” Alastor lamented, eye twitching at the Kings behavior. This was the most powerful being in hell. Who was fully ignoring him.
After finishing with the gators, Lucifer summoned some juicy, bloody meat that Alastor wouldn’t have minded a taste of and chucked it into the murky darkness. They quickly disappeared after it. “So, bit off topic, but the Food Overlord. How well do you know her?”
“Well enough, why?”
Lucifer shrugged, magicking the blood and muck off himself. “I’m a fan of her work. She’s really doing good things for Hell’s food scene. I’ve eaten at that crepe place ten times already.”
“That crepe place hasn’t even been open a week Sire.”
“Yeah, I know, they just keep a table reserved for me now.” Lucifer said like that was something to be proud of.
Alastor scoffed at that, putting on some background music “Eating your way down the menu?”
“Nah I always get the caramel apple crepes, they’re the best. Have you been to her restaurant Wacky’s?”
Taking a deep breath, Alastor prepared himself for what he knew was going to be a ridiculous conversation “The children's restaurant in Imp City? With rainbow pasta and panda shaped filled buns? Where your food is delivered on a magic flying train?”
“Yeah, it’s great! So much whimsy packed into the place!”
“It’s a restaurant for children your Majesty.”
“And the kids love running into the king at their favorite restaurant! I love kids!”
“Well, you practically are one.”
“Enough with the jabs at my height already!”
“Oh, I was referring to far more than just your height.”
“Jackass. You gotta let a little more whimsy into your life. Keeps you from turning boring.”
“I have plenty of whimsy.” Alastor insisted, throwing open a door to a side room “Would you like to see my Furbies? I have them all!”
Lucifer gawked at the collection “You collect... toys?”
“Why I find them delightful! Did you know there’s a fear of Furbies? Deafurbophobia.”
“That’s hilarious” Lucifer cackled “What’s this thing?” He motioned towards what appeared to be some kind of instrument with Furbies attached to it.
“My Furby organ! And yes, it can be played.”
“Play me something then, this is going to be horrifying I know it.”
This is how Charlie found them later ‘Um glad to see you two getting along.” She winced at the noise. “What is that?”
“Furby Organ!” They both exclaimed happily
“Okay~” She chuckled awkwardly “Are you done with the garden? I want to get plant therapy on my schedule.”
“We’ll do the grand opening tomorrow after breakfast.” Lucifer promised her. “A few things need to settle today, but other than that we’re done. And hey, we are getting along better. I mean I still don’t like this guy, but we’ve moved to tolerance. Great job sweetie!”
“That’s great dad! What about you Alastor?”
“Tolerance works. Oh, I’m going to be grilling for lunch tomorrow, so could you be a dear and ask Niffty to keep breakfast light?”
She squealed and threw an arm around each of them “I’m so glad! And yes, I can do that now. You missed dinner by the way; you’ve been in here awhile.”
Wow they’ve really been here since lunch? “Sorry Sweetie, we lost track of time. Good thing Al keeps back up meals in the freezer huh?”
Charlie laughed “Yes and it was delish as always, thank you. The rest of us really need to learn to cook. Well, Niffty cooks' breakfast, why can’t she make dinner?”
“Depends on how you feel about gelatin my dear. It was all the rage during her time. Her specialty is “Meal in a mould” Which is canned peas, carrots, and meat layered in a mould and suspended in gelatin.” He grimaced “I would not recommend it.”
Lucifer gagged at the thought “That’s awful, her breakfast casseroles are so good though.”
Charlie looked horrified “It’s better if she stays on breakfast duty. Don’t forget to eat though, I’ll see you later.”
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Right after breakfast the next day, they stood outside the “garden” Everyone eagerly awaiting the completed project. Including Fat Nuggets who was squirming in Angel’s arms. “So, we kinda went overboard” Lucifer admitted
“Indeed, but we’re both quite happy with how it turned out.” Alastor added, motioning everyone inside “Shall we?”
Everyone followed them inside and gawked
“This is a park!” Vaggie exclaimed “How is there a sun?”
“I’m the Morningstar remember?” Lucifer laughed “I can’t create a sun for all of Hell, but I can manage a little pocket dimension. I mean, it feels off to me, but probably not to all of you.”
“Nope!”
“Feels great.”
“I missed sun!”
“Squeeeaaaallllll!”
Angel set his pig down, and he took off as fast as his little legs could carry him. Now that he wouldn’t be getting in the way of construction it wouldn’t hurt to let him explore.
“Keep him away from my vegetables” Alastor warned before turning to the group “Now then, would you all like a guided tour or would you rather wander?”
Charlie was practically vibrating “I want to wander! This is soooo amazing.” She threw her arms around them “You did such a great job!”
“Ah, thank you my dear.” Alastor said, allowing the hug but clearly not enjoying it. “We have certain areas marked with flags. Let's all meet at the red flag for lunch.”
“Don’t spoil your lunch.” Lucifer added as Angel climbed a tree and helped himself to a peach.
“No worries, lunch is hours from now.”
Vaggie grabbed Charlie's hand “Let’s wander in the direction of the garden. There is an actual garden in here, right?”
“Left, green flag.” Both Lucifer and Alastor said
“It’s not like we would forget the one thing you asked for!” Lucifer said confidently
“You can’t miss it!” Alastor added “I believe it will do nicely, but let us know if it needs anything!”
Charlie gave them a beaming smile “I’m sure it’s perfect! Come on Vaggie!”
Everyone scattered, excited to explore the charming pocket dimension. Which was not as big as it seemed when you really got into it. Sure, it was a generous space, with a lot of fun areas, but it was deceiving. Everything was laid out efficiently to maximize space. Lines of trees and the occasional mossy brick wall divided the areas with a more intimate feel. Meandering paths and low flowers divided area that were more open.
Lucifer felt a sense of pride that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Listening to everyone's delighted cries as they discovered something new. Spreading his senses he opened additional eyes to watch. Charlie and Vaggie were in the garden, happily inspecting each painted bed. Niffty was feeding ducks (from the correct box) Angel and Husk had found the Amphitheatre and were performing an impromptu dance number. Cherri had been drawn to the massive sycamore tree, using it to get an aerial view of the park.
There were also the newer residents, a few of them had also taken off to explore. Three however had seemed overwhelmed and Alastor stepped in to give a more guided tour. As lunch approached hours later Lucifer flew to the “Food court” as he had started calling it. Alastor preferred “The Plaza” but whatever. As he arrived, he found Vaggie fighting to keep Angel Dust away from the hot dog stand.
“Alastor’s grilling for lunch Angel!”
“And I’m sure you’ll all love it toots, but I want a fucking dirty water dog! I mean seriously was I not just saying this is the only thing that would make this place perfect? Whiskers? Did I not say that?”
“He did say that.” Husk confirmed joining Vaggie in spider wrangling “But hey we can do dogs fer dinner kid.”
“I want one now! And those mini doughnuts, oh is that a nacho stand? This place is paradise!”
Alastor's sharp laughter made them all jump, except for Lucifer because he saw the bastard coming this time! “Glad you are all so enthusiastic about my little addition! I could always grill for dinner instead? Extra marinade time certainly won’t hurt the steaks.”
This was his plan all along, Lucifer bemoaned as Charlie bought it entirely.
“Great idea Alastor! We can try out these fun food stands and then do some garden therapy! I already picked out my box, which are all super cute by the way. Did you paint them all by hand dad?”
“Er half of them, Al did the other half.” Lucifer admitted, he was not lying to his daughter. He did however, appreciate her assumption.
“It was however your father’s idea to make each one unique instead of a solid color.” Alastor added helpfully, which was suspicious, highly suspicious.
Lucifer eyed him while Charlie squealed excitedly “Well they all look great! I’m soooo glad you two are working together!”
“I call dibs on the fireworks box!” Cherri called out from where she was adding relish to her hot dog. “How long do the chips take?”
Alastor stared blankly at her
“Fries you fuckin American!”
“Ah right, you’re Australian. Twenty minutes, you have to cook them twice after all.”
“I recommend adding cheese from the pretzel stand!” Lucifer suggested
“And I recommend you don’t, but I find that so called cheese to be vile.”
“Try pretzels with hot mustard instead.” Husk offered, returning with a plate of nachos “I think you’d like them like that.”
“Mnmph mmnphn!” Angel said around his mouthful of hotdog, looking happier than anyone's ever seen him.
Fat Nuggets squealed happily, weaving between everyone's legs begging for snacks. Which were given without protest from most of the residents. Charlie scooped some shredded poultry into a dish for KeeKee, who did not have the digestive fortitude of a pig. “This is great, everyone's so happy!” Charlie sighed, leaning into Vaggie. Both of them enjoying milkshakes and fries.
“Yeah, they actually did a great job, even if it’s obvious how it got to this.” Vaggie agreed, scratching a purring KeeKee behind the ears.
“I know! They’re finally working together!”
Husk, Angel, and Vaggie gave her exasperated looks. “No toots, they kept trying to outdo each other and it got fancier and fancier.”
“They worked together a little.” Husk offered, trying to maintain Charlie’s good mood before she came up with another idea to make them get along. “Boss took the King to his room and showed off his weird fucking collection. So, I mean they don’t completely hate each other, just fuckin competitive.”
“Wait, what weird thing does Smiles collect?” Angel asked, offering the last dredges of his root beer float to his happily spoiled pig. “Oh, wait let me guess! Uh.... skulls of his enemies? No? Oh oh oh old jazz records? Radios? Whiskey glasses? Depressing books?”
“Furbies” Husk cut him off “But he does have a fuck ton of radios and jazz records.”
“.... Really? He collects creepy mechanical children's toys that came out way after his time? Yeah, I would not have guessed that. Hey him and Short King have something in common, they both have collections of toys.”
“Yes, it’s very weird. The important thing is they aren't trying to attack each other.” Vaggie insisted “Actually their competitiveness made something good for once. Let’s just enjoy this amazing park. Everyone seems to be finishing up lunch. How about some gardening?”
Immediately jumping up onto the table, Charlie got everyone's attention “Everybody finish up and meet at the garden in twenty minutes. It’s the green flag. Once everyone gets there, we can pick our planter boxes and plants.”
As everyone congregated around the colorful boxes, Lucifer assured them he could change the locations around if needed. No need to settle for one we only kinda like to be close to your friends.
“Dad, can you move mine up front?” Charlie called out and Lucifer froze. The one he made for Charlie was already in the front row. Closest to the shed full of gardening supplies.
Forcing a smile, Lucifer turned to face her “Sure sweetie, uh wow, that one’s pretty.” Fucking Radio Demon. It wasn’t nearly as artistic as his, but it was bold. Seven horizontal stripes making up a colorful rainbow, done in glitter paint. It was ridiculously sparkly. “Let’s uh, let everyone pick out what they want before we start moving things around.” He took solace in the fact that his future daughter in law chose one of his designs. The simple vining pattern that she claimed was “Exactly what a planter box should be” She was so great.
“Are you going to join us sir?” Vaggie asked with a knowing look.
Husk was also wincing; they both clearly knew what was happening. Husk had also picked on of his designs. A yellow box with a purple iris painted on it.
“Sure, I’ll just uh.” He moved to stand next to the box originally intended for Charlie “Grab this one. Why that one Husk? Not what I would have guessed for you.”
The cat shrugged, slipping the flask he had been drinking out of back into his pocket before Vaggie said anything “My daughter’s name was Iris.”
“Whiskers ya gotta stop droppin backstory so casually!” Angel called over from where he had claimed Alastor’s candy collage. Which Lucifer noticed had some glitter added now. Jackass.
“Alright looks like everyone's picked ou- wait where’s Niffty?” Charlie looked around with no sign from the absent maid. “She was just here.”
“Ah Niffty hates gardening my dear.” Alastor explained from his own raised bed full of magically grown veggies and herbs. “Given that she is staff and has no obligation to join, she's back to cleaning. Which is far more enjoyable for her.”
“Oh, well I guess that's fine. Do you want to join us?”
Alastor snapped a green pepper off the vine, not even bothering to look up. “Not in the slightest, I have a garden. Besides, I need to prep these for kebabs. So glad you like the planter, I thought of you when I painted it.”
“You made this one? That’s so sweet! Thanks Alastor, I love it! Thanks for making dinner too.”
“Of course, my dear, whatever you need.”
Lucifer, Vaggie, and Husk rolled their eyes at his pandering.
Hefting his full basket, Alastor started towards the Plaza. “Well, ta now, enjoy gardening.”
“Bye Alastor!” Charlie called after him before turning to address the group “Okay now who wants to be where? Oh Dad, you’re joining us? That’s great, this is going to be so fun!”
-x-x-x-x-x-
At least he got to garden with his daughter, which was surprisingly fun. Seeds had so much potential in them it was amazing! Normally he just magicked them grown, but the fact that they could grow that much without magic was amazing! People often forgot to consider the complexity of seeds.
Everyone had scattered again, lesson done hours before dinner. He was sure Husk was enjoying that nap. All in all, it was a good day. Everyone was happy and calm, amazing what a little sunlight does for humans. After a few tweaks, he chose to wander back over to the food court where Alastor was getting the grill ready.
“That was a dick move with Charlie's planter box.” Lucifer muttered, plopping down on a bench next to him.
With a wave of his hand, Alastor summoned dinner. “How was I to know that Charlie picking your design was so important to you? A mind reader I am not.”
Lucifer goggled at the dinner spread. Steaks, chicken thighs, and shrimp skewers made up the proteins. There were also veggie kebobs and packs, as well as plenty of grillable fruits. It all smelled amazing and it wasn’t even cooked yet. “Holy shit that looks good! Wait no, I’m pissed at you! You can’t distract me with food!”
“Who’s trying to?” Alastor retorted smugly “Not everything I do is a personal slight against you. Now did you need anything actually relevant or did you just come to squawk about Charlie preferring my art?”
“Art? Please you just used glitter to make up for your basic bitch paintings!”
The Radio Demon just arched an eyebrow at that “And? Not all of us have had ten thousand years of practice.”
Lucifer scoffed at that “I’ve been painting for longer than that sinner.”
“Thank you for agreeing with me your Majesty!”
“I wasn’t... fuck you!” Lucifer groaned, slumping back against the bench “Arguing with you is exhausting. You do things just to piss me off.”
“As do you! Any other complaints?”
Groaning, Lucifer snagged a piece of pineapple. “Nah, why bother. I already made the pet area look like a cutesy fairy garden and told everyone this place is called the food court.”
“It’s the Plaza!”
“Really? Cause everyone’s already calling it the food court.” Lucifer grinned “That’s even what it says on the sign at the entrance. Which is warded so good luck changing it!”
Alastor's eye twitched “Well played Sire. Now look like we’re getting along, Charlie’s approaching.”
Sure enough, Charlie came bounding around the corner a moment later “Dad, Alastor I had a great idea!” She paused taking in the yet to be cooked spread “Wow this looks amazing Alastor!”
“But of course my dear, it will be quite the feast! Now what was this big idea of yours?”
“We should host a garden party! Heaven finally got back to us and set up a meeting! Soooooo we can announce the news at a garden party. It will keep it er causal, I guess. Maybe you can grill for that too?”
“Hm, a delightful idea! A garden party would be lovely, and I can provide a catering service with my recipes for it!”
“Er sure I guess.” Charlie said uncertainly “You obviously don’t have to grill if you don’t want to. We can hire catering.”
“Charlie dear, I enjoy cooking. Grilling a feast for the hotels lovely residents is no trouble at all! Once it’s for a party however, it become food service. I am not in the food service industry, it’s dreadful.”
Lucifer snickered “He’s not wrong. Especially if you want to invite other Overlords. They’d probably get petty and make him re-grill their steak a few times.”
“Ugh they would.” Alastor agreed “Vox especially. Grilling for the garden party will work nicely though. I’ll find a lovely catering service that can handle the task.”
Beaming, Charlie nodded along “That makes sense, and I do want to invite the other Overlords. Dad can kick them out if anyone gets too aggressive. Hopefully no one will, but y’know...” She trailed off for a moment before plastering a smile back on her face “Hopefully we’ll have good news from Heaven!”
“And if not perhaps sunlight and shrimp skewers will soften the blow!” Lucifer joked.
“Uh, sure dad.” Charlie laughed awkwardly as everyone started showing up, eager for dinner.
Not a single person was late, although Husk looked tired. Angel Dust clearly having roused him from his nap. Not that he looked upset, eyeing the spread hungrily. Everyone looked eager as thing started hitting the grill. Alastor preening under the attention as he showed off his grilling skills.
“Those who want steak, how would you like it cooked? Rare, medium rare, or medium?”
“Uh Al?”
“That’s as far as I go, take it or have the chicken.”
Charlie laughed “Hiring catering is defiantly for the best. I still can’t believe how amazing this place is! There’s a whole pond with ducks and fish!”
“Wait, is it a pond?” Vaggie asked, looking confused. “I thought it was a lake. Seems kind of big for a pond.”
“Depth matters more than size when it comes to ponds and lakes” Husk cut in “Ultimately though, those terms are pretty arbitrary. No exact definition exists. There are some ponds that are larger and deeper than some lakes. It comes down to who names it.”
“I’m gonna keep calling it a pond.” Lucifer announced
“And I will continue to refer to it as a lake.” Alastor added, flipping the first round of rare steaks and pulling the shrimp skewers.
“And both of those are valid.” Charlie finished grabbing a shrimp skewer and pulling off one of the shrimp for a pleased KeeKee “We’re going to get so much use out of this place! I have so many ideas!”
-End-