Chapter Text
Kim Rok Soo has an older brother.
At one point, he thought of him as a relative who happened to live with them due to personal circumstances.
When Rok Soo was old enough to retain memories, he decided to ask the person directly:
“Hey, are we related?”
Kim Soohyun's eyes widened in surprise, but he soon burst out laughing.
“—ahaha!” It took a long time for a real answer to come. Eventually, Rok Soo’s head was pressed down and his hair was ruffled, as the older boy replied: “well, I would hope so. We share parents after all!”
“... yes?!”
“Of course! Pfft. What were you thinking the whole time?” Soohyun-hyung snorted. “Have you been following me around for the past six years and calling me hyung without knowing that?”
The boy narrowed his eyes, still a little suspicious.
“But, you’re... old.”
Kim Soohyun was about ten years older than him, to be exact. While Kim Rok Soo had just finished kindergarten, his brother was already in high school this year; it was a huge age difference.
“Sometimes, adults overestimate themselves and make bad decisions.” His brother explained with a shrug: “I was the result of that bad decision.”
“...”
Rok Soo’s shoulder was patted a few times.
“Don’t worry, dongsaeng; our parents learned from that mistake and waited for the right time. And now, we have you! Isn’t that neat?”
Their parents were dead.
Kim Rok Soo cried until he was numb. On the third day of the funeral, his throat was sore and his eyes red, but they were so dry that not a single tear could be shed.
The portraits of his parents stood surrounded by flowers in the middle of the funeral hall. Many people came to pay their respects— relatives, friends, co-workers, and a few neighbors. It seemed that his parents were well liked.
Kim Rok Soo was far from happy about that. He preferred to see them alive.
“I heard that they both died on impact. I saw pictures of the scene, it was a brutal accident.”
“It’s a blessing that the youngest wasn’t with them.”
“Yeah. I heard that the oldest son—”
“Hey, keep your voices down! Kim Rok Soo will hear you!”
‘No… keep talking.’ Rok Soo wanted to shout, but his voice was already gone.
He was desperate to know his brother's fate.
Kim Soohyun hadn’t shown his face ever since the accident. No one would answer questions about him either, so Soohyun-hyung's status was completely unknown.
Thus, Kim Rok Soo dared to hope.
If his portrait was missing, it meant that his brother was alive— right? His brother would appear at any moment and laugh at the expression on Rok Soo's face, ruffle his hair roughly and say: ‘yes, yes; hyung was wrong to make fun of you’ — right?
Three days became six. Soon, a week passed by—
His brother didn’t come.
In the end, Kim Rok Soo had to move in with his uncle, leaving his parents’ house behind.
His uncle was okay. The man couldn’t take the place of those who had left, but he seemed nice and caring enough. Rok Soo couldn’t help but wonder why his parents weren’t close to Uncle Seung Jong in the first place, though.
… maybe his parents knew, was Kim Rok Soo’s belated realization.
Lying awake on the cold floor, he tried his best to keep from shaking. He had earned a nasty hook the last time he had been caught shivering.
But what else could he do? The boy gritted his teeth. It was winter, and they had no heat.
Rok Soo wanted to complain, but he knew better than to speak out his mind by now.
If only his uncle was the one experiencing such discomfort, then it would be safe to speak— however, the man spent his days more drunk than sober now, and the alcohol seemed to keep him warm at least.
Life was truly unfair.
At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
His uncle fought with the neighbors at least twice a week, so it wasn't unusual to hear a series of curses and yells out of nowhere. Kim Rok Soo tuned it out until the front door slammed shut and loud footsteps quickly made their way back inside.
He made himself smaller, hoping to go unnoticed.
At that moment,
“... hey.” A voice, certainly not his uncle's, came out.
Kim Rok Soo’s heart skipped a beat.
“Kim Seung Jong, what is the meaning of this?”
The owner of the husky voice spoke softly, but the boy knew—
“I knew you guys were trash, but how can you sink lower than each other?”
This person was really angry.
“You couldn’t even have compassion for your little nephew?”
Rok Soo heard his uncle scream in pain, yet didn’t move.
“This is what you spent the money you got from selling our parents’ belongings on, huh?”
There was the familiar sound of empty soju bottles rolling on the floor.
Soon, brisk strides echoed in the apartment. Something snapped open, followed by a lot of clattering; probably the refrigerator door.
“Hey, your fridge is full. Then why does my brother’s frame look so thin?”
“T-that—”
“Rhetoric,” A gross-sounding thud echoed right after the words were spoken in a harsh tone, “exists for a reason. No matter what you say at this point, there's nothing that can save you—”
Rok Soo felt an intense gaze land on his back.
“—no, there’s something.”
Rok Soo could smell the blood, yet he made no attempt to call for help.
“Be thankful, you’ll live another day of your miserable life.”
... because, this is the help.
Something crashed on the floor; his uncle, probably.
“Kim Rok Soo.” The husky voice called to him.
Hesitantly, afraid it might be a dream, he turned around but kept his eyes fixed on the tiles. An uncertain amount of time passed before he finally worked up the courage to look up.
The first thing he sees is Kim Soohyun brushing back his bangs.
“Sorry buddy, your hyung is late.”
As soon as a hand touched his head and ruffled it roughly, tears started rolling down uncontrollably.