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Hathaway hadn't been inside a Catholic church for ages. Somehow, with the degradation of his belief in God, he'd started to feel he had no need for the rituals of the church anymore. Despite that though, he walked into the church today with the desire to participate in confession.
As he went through the alley, he felt a strange calm overcome him. He remembered the feeling from his seminary days, back when weekly confessions were the requirement and not the exception.
There were a few parishoners in the church already, some using the kneeling benches. A few older women were sitting and praying the rosary. The confessional looked old fashioned which actually suited him. Hathaway chose a bench which nobody was using. It was placed a little to the side, out of earshot of the other parishoners.
Sitting down, he started thinking about his governor, Robbie Lewis. He recalled how he met him; tried to remember every moment they had worked well together, which were many. He even thought of the few times they were at odds, how Lewis had rescued him from the fire, back then. How delighted he had felt that Lewis had forgiven him.
When it was his turn, Hathaway stepped into the confessional without fear.
Kneeling, he made the sign of the cross and began, "In the name of the Father, and the Son and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was... I don't remember when it was- years ago, definitely. Probably shortly before I quit the seminary."
"You chose a different path, my son?" The priest's voice was soft and gentle.
"Yes. I became a cop instead."
"Then you are still doing the work of God by improving the world around you."
"My... governor said something like that once, though he meant it sarcastically. He's the first guv who really understands me. The way I think, the way I work and even my idiosyncrasies. He sometimes talks about his own governor, the one he worked under before he became inspector. He says that the man was brilliant, but he forgets that he's brilliant himself. With him, I feel at home when I work."
"Does he know you cherish him?"
"No... well, maybe. I once said that once he retires, I'd quit as well. That might come sooner than later."
"Is he retiring?"
"No, he's been shot. He's been in hospital for four weeks now. His doctor thinks he's got a fifty-fifty chance of making it or not." Hathaway paused for a moment. In a softer voice he continued, "I'm afraid I might lose him."
"Then you should not be here, son. You should be with him. You should talk to him. You should tell him how much you cherish him."
"I can't. He once said that it wouldn't matter, but I'm afraid it would ruin our partnership."
"Love is never wrong."
"You make this sound so easy Father. But what about the church?"
"Didn't Jesus have a favourite disciple who he loved? We don't know what kind of love it was and we may never know. What we do know is that it wasn't wrong. Son, the world changes and with it, the way the church interprets God's scripture. Accept the love you feel, for it is good and true."
Hathaway felt the mobile in his pocket vibrate. Taking it out for a moment, he saw that Dr. Hobson had sent him a message. Lewis was awake.
"I heard that," the priest said, a slight note of scolding in his voice. "You should have turned it off."
"I'm sorry, Father. I'm on call. I just got a message that he's awake."
"Then all is well." Hathaway was sure he heard the smile in the priest's voice. "Your penance is this: once your governor has recovered, you will tell him how you feel about him. You are forgiven.” The priest murmured the soft words of absolution. Finally, he said, “In the name of the Father, and the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
Hathaway spoke the words with the priest and made the sign of the cross as well.
"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good," the priest said.
"For His mercy endures forever," Hathaway said and left the confessional.
Leaving the church, Hathaway walked to his car, then drove back to the hospital.
Outside, he breathed deeply and stared at the front of the hospital Lewis was in. Today was a better day because Robbie Lewis, the man he loved, woke from his artificial coma.
Welcome to the rest of your life, James Hathaway.