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Things felt strained between them ever since Logan had hired the guard. He knew they had agreed out loud to take it easy on each other and she’d told him they were okay. But he recognized he’d crossed a line. He hadn’t thought far enough ahead to realize Veronica would have inevitably figured out someone was following her every move. His only thought had been protecting her, and he woefully ignored how terrifying it would be to find someone she didn’t know following her given that she’s being actively stalked by a rapist.
Last night when confronted, Logan had been desperate for Veronica to understand his position. He was constantly waiting for the next thing, the next danger, that could take her from him.
He wanted them to be okay.
If he were being honest with himself, he could even acknowledge things were strained before the bodyguard. Just off the top of his head his Tijuana trip with Mercer he begged to keep private from her, and Veronica staying with Piz when she was mad at him and her dad came to mind. Even when Veronica had been honest with him that she was annoyed he was never available for anything she wanted to do that would expand their horizons in college. She would never have admitted it, and he never would have intended it that way, but he knew he hurt her feelings when he made it sound like all they had together were booty calls.
It certainly didn’t help either of them feel secure in their relationship when he told her he’d come to see her at work and then didn’t show. He could slap himself upside the head for leaving her a voicemail to say he wouldn’t be there to see her because he was getting lucky. He really couldn’t blame Veronica for responding in a manner befitting Veronica Mars, by tracking him to the casino. They had both behaved like themselves and yet had both been so angry with each other.
They really hadn’t been the kindest partners to each other lately, but he was determined to change that.
Ever since he’d started falling for her after she tried to help him find his mom, all he’d really wanted to do was protect her. He couldn’t stand that he’d hurt her. Everything he’d ever done to hurt her felt like a mark on his soul that he couldn’t absolve.
Sometimes he felt like a disappointment, a failure, and couldn’t stand to see the look in her eyes when he had done something he knew she wouldn’t approve of. To live up to the expectations Veronica never put into words was a feat Logan had yet to accomplish. But he wouldn’t stop trying to be the man she wanted him to be, because it was honestly encouraging that someone still had such high expectations of him. He wanted to be the man that deserved Veronica Mars.
If he hadn’t been searching for her the night she was drugged, he could only imagine a million worst case scenarios in which she could have been hurt further. She was barely responsive when he’d found her, and he couldn’t get the image of her lying there helpless out of his mind, a chunk of her hair laying on the ground.
If she stopped investigating the rapes, she would be safer, right? If she just left it alone, maybe this psychotic rapist would leave her alone in return. But Veronica was so damn stubborn. She thought that because she carried a stun gun and knew how to use a knife that she would be able to protect herself. He’d seen instances with his own eyes where it would have been nearly impossible for her to get out of the situation without help; like when he’d had to come into the Fitzpatrick’s bar while she struggled not to be tattooed against her will. He couldn’t imagine she would have gotten out of that bar without help.
He entered the food court and there she was. His epic love, the love of his life. He watched her cross the cafeteria, tray in hand, and couldn’t stop himself from taking out his phone to call her.
He loved her so much. He didn’t understand why she would constantly put herself in danger even when he was begging her not to. But he could acknowledge that she was right. He had known exactly who she was when he’d fallen in love with her. You could count on Veronica for all sorts of things, but being unapologetically herself might top the list. He found that lovable, endearing, and sexy as hell; even when it frustrated the hell out of him in equal measure.
Logan listened to the phone ringing in his ear and silently begged her to pick up, but worried that she wouldn’t. He worried that she didn’t mean it when she said they were okay, he worried that overstepping that line had put her in a defensive mode they couldn’t come back from. He watched as Veronica grabbed her phone and checked who was calling. She smiled, and even from here he could tell her eyes lit up with love as she walked with her tray toward an empty table.
“Hey you,” she answered.
“Hey, YOU,” he said, blowing out a relieved breath. “What are you doing?”
“I just got some possibly grotesque and certainly unappetizing pasta from the cafeteria…care to join me?” She said flirtatiously.
“As a matter of fact, I’m basically already there.”
“Oh good! See you in a minute,” she said. “I love you, Logan,” and the words made his heart skip a beat. She so rarely said it, and rarer still said it first. And although she’d said it over the phone, he’d gotten to see her face. And her face was radiant.
“Hold that thought,” he said to her, ready to pull her into his arms.
He made his way over to Veronica and kissed her, his heart feeling lighter than it had felt since their confrontation the night before. “I love you, Veronica,” he said against her lips. He kissed her, deeply, then pressed his forehead against hers.
She giggled as he lifted her up from her seat, sat down, and encouraged her to sit in his lap. She sat there willingly, putting her arm around the back of his shoulders and snuggled in close. It gave him hope that even though things had been tense, even though they were wildly different people, they would work this out and get this relationship right this time.
“Feeling affectionate today, my love?” Logan said, nuzzling Veronica’s cheek.
"Always! Who could help themselves when dating a hunk like you?" She asked, turning her head to kiss him.
"Do you think after we eat we can go back to the Grand and talk? Hash out any lingering issues we have that might be causing tension between us?"
She looked at him, really looked into his eyes and could see how determined and sincere he was. She gave him another sweet, gentle kiss.
"I think that's a great idea."