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She had had the day from hell topped with the cherry that was a surprise rainstorm. She was still a fifteen minute walk from her station, where she’d then have to stand on the crowded train, damp and trying not to touch or be touched by all the other sodden travellers. Her feet hurt (she was beginning to feel the couple of inches she gained with her heels was simply not worth it), she had skipped lunch and she’d been at the receiving end of even more of Cressida’s passive aggressive comments than usual. Then the skies had opened up above her and she just stopped in her tracks, contemplating following the rain’s lead and bursting into tears. She could feel the lump in her throat forming and she shook her head vigorously, determined that her life hadn’t become so pathetic she had taken to crying in the street. At least not yet, anyway.
She spotted an awning over a doorway and huddled under it, shivering and cursing British weather and her life in general. Normally she didn’t mind the walk to the station through London streets, sometimes even taking more circuitous routes than necessary to simply delay the inevitable. But today she cursed the fact that it would be at least an hour before she got home. She couldn’t win.
She squinted at the sky, trying to determine if the rain would let up any time soon. Dull grey and relentless water met her gaze like a wall. She thought desperately if there were any coffee shops nearby she could hang out, before deciding that sitting wet in a cafe wasn’t really any better than a train, and at least she’d be on her way home in the latter. What she really wanted was a shower, a hot meal and silence. At least if she started walking now, soon she could guarantee one and half of those things. Moving back into her family home had been as gruelling as it had been necessary when she got laid off last year, and while she appreciated the money she was saving (desperately saving so she could move out once again), she dreaded the sad microwave meal and her mother’s mindless grilling that was waiting for her when she arrived home.
She wanted to scream.
She was just bracing to head back in the rain when her phone buzzed. Pulling it out while still under cover, Penelope paused, smiling when she saw the notification.
Colin.
Her bright spot in all these grey, fucked up days. Even if the bright spot was just a pinprick filtered through sunglasses while he gallivanted around the world getting more jacked and tanned. A bright spot that slightly blinded her to any other forms of light, it seemed, at times. She was grateful all the same.
He’d been out of touch most of the day, which happened from time to time when he had to go somewhere where there was no reception. She remembered him saying he was going on a whale-watching expedition that day, the jerk. She bit back a smile as she imagined how he would be tonight on the phone, emphatically describing every moment and every whale and every barnacle on every whale.
She loved him, she didn’t even bother pretending she didn’t anymore. Luckily he was away so much she never had to think about what to actually do with all her feelings. Couldn’t love anyone else, but also couldn’t love him. It was a fucked up situation to be in, but one she’d made her peace with, at least for now.
She pressed send on her reply to his latest meme when she realised he might be her salvation in a whole new way today. She quickly typed a second message, grinning when he replied almost instantly. Feeling slightly less hopeless, she made her way onto the rainy street again.
A few minutes later she stood in a familiar entryway, water dripping around her feet as she fumbled for the key she was looking for. She remembered when Colin had given it to her, how she’d rolled her eyes and said it was ridiculous. But he’d made her take it anyway, “in case of emergencies,” he had said, and she’d not been able to resist his trademark mix of charm and genuine kindness. Now, as she let herself into the apartment, she’d never been more glad to be more wrong.
Feeling an immediate sense of relief upon entering she quickly shrugged off her coat and headed to the heating panel. Heat and lights turned on, she took in the familiar apartment with a sigh. She loved it here. Warmly lit and decorated with wood and dark blues, she felt more at home here than at Featherington House. Hell, more than her old apartment if she was being honest. It smelt like citrus and sandalwood and Colin.
For the second time in less than an hour, Penelope felt like crying. She missed him so much. It was easy to forget how much when she was plotting Cressida’s murder or avoiding her mother’s blind date offerings, but here and now, it was overwhelming.
Not letting herself dwell on it, she quickly headed for the shower, lifting a hoodie and sweatpants from Colin’s drawers on her way.
As she stepped in the shower, a whole new wave of feelings assaulted her. She was naked in Colin Bridgerton’s shower. Where he had been naked. Fuck.
She tried not to go insane as she used his soap, the smell bringing back flashes of his chest in her face when she hugged him and the way he would pull her close during movie night. She deliberately ignored the pulsing between her legs as she dried off using his towel. Clean and fresh from the linen cupboard, but still. It was his. She made herself recite her times tables as she slid his clothes over her skin, practically bolting out of his bedroom before she melted into the floor.
Half an hour later she was snuggled on Colin’s couch, in Colin’s clothes, work clothes in the wash and takeout demolished. Horniness now somewhat contained, she felt better. Better than she had in months, actually. She snapped a quick selfie of herself and sent it to Colin.
P: You saved a life today Colin
C: Glad I could help. I told you the key would come in handy ;)
P: 🙄 okay okay you were right this ONE time
C: I’m always right
C: You look good in my clothes, btw
Penelope felt her cheeks warm significantly at the compliment. It wasn’t like he didn’t compliment her normally. In fact, it was a constant point of contention between them. But this seemed different. This felt different. She pondered how to reply, unsure how to navigate this unfamiliar territory. She decided to play it safe.
P: Well, I didn’t exactly have many options…
Colin replied back quickly.
C: Well, since we’ve established I know best about these things, maybe you should let me keep some of your clothes there to avoid this happening again
Penelope blushed even harder. God, he was a flirt. This seemed flirtier than usual, didn’t it? She couldn’t tell. That was the problem with their friendship. Every single line had been blurred until it looked like a preschooler’s finger painting. Deciding she could give as good as she got, she typed her reply.
P: No, I like your clothes better
Immediately panicking, she quickly typed a second message.
P: They’re comfier 🙂
Phewf. Crisis averted. How did people do this without combusting? She would never understand. Her heart pounded while she waited for him to reply. She jumped when his reply came through.
Get a grip, girl.
C: Well, I’m glad. You’re welcome to them anytime :)
Penelope breathed a sigh of relief even as her tummy twinged with disappointment. They were back to normal again.
P: Thank you, Colin. FR. I feel like I can face my family now, even if they ruin my relaxation in 0.0001 seconds
C: Wait, you’re going home tonight?
Penelope looked at his message, confused.
P: Yes? I can’t stay here all night haha
Colin’s message came so fast she wondered when he had time to type it.
C: Yes you can
Quickly followed by:
C: It’s Friday
C: You can sleep in
C: Use my bed
C: The sheets are clean
C: Otherwise you have to take an Uber home
C: Dangerous
C: Safer just to stay, I think
C: Good idea
C: Glad we settled that
C: Spare toothbrushes are under the sink
Penelope couldn’t help the giggles escaping her with each message. He was an idiot, and she’d be damned if that didn’t make her love him even more.
P: Are you sure you don’t mind?
C: Of course I don’t, Pen. Besides, I’m not even home. Who could you possibly be inconveniencing???
Well, he had her there.
P: Fine. Thank you then. AGAIN
C: Anytime Pen 🙂
Penelope felt her heart warm and ache simultaneously. What did she do so right to deserve him, yet so wrong as to not be able to have him. It was entirely too poetic for her liking. Another message came through after a beat.
C: I have a question for you
Penelope felt her heartbeat pick up in anticipation.
What now?
C: You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, if it makes you uncomfortable. And I’m not being weird I promise, I am JUST curious, okay?
Penelope wriggled in frustration. What was he doing to her?
P: Okay, so what is your question then…?
She watched the three little dots appear. Then disappear. Then appear again. She was about to throw her phone out the window when a message finally appeared.
She nearly did throw her phone then.
C: Are you wearing my underwear?
Penelope stopped breathing. What was this? He said he was just curious. Maybe he thought it was gross, and he wanted to know if he had to throw them out when he got back. A thousand scenarios rushed through Penelope’s head, none of them good. Gulping, she typed her reply, relieved she didn’t have to lie.
P: No haha
C: Cool, just wondering
Well this was awkward. She didn’t know what to say. She was willing to be Colin didn’t either. She saw the three dots pop back up and braced herself, knowing he would want to dampen the awkwardness as soon as possible.
C: I wouldn’t be mad if you did
Penelope stared at her phone like it had just begun producing chocolate muffins and frogs in sombreros. Had he been drinking? Penelope had no idea how to respond as yet another message came through.
C: I’d rather you do that than have to wear your old ones
Understanding dawned. Sort of. Why was he so concerned about her underwear? Also, did he really think she was gross enough to put dirty undies back on?
P: It’s fine, Colin. I didn’t put them back on, I stuck them in the wash with my work clothes. Thanks for your concern though haha
Penelope watched the chat window but there was no sign of movement. Maybe he’d gone to eat or something. She sent a quick message to her mother telling her she wouldn’t be home tonight and flicked through the tv aimlessly, not really concentrating on the colours moving in front of her. All she could think about was Colin.
Colin whose apartment felt so safe and warm she never wanted to leave.
Colin whose clothes were soft and snuggly, just like him.
Colin, who cared so much about her, he’d ask her uncomfortable questions about her undergarments to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.
She shifted in her seat, the throbbing back and more insistent this time. She checked her phone for the millionth time but still no sign of Colin’s reply. She bit her lip as she looked at the time. Maybe she should go to bed. That was a good idea. She should go to bed at the very late time of 9pm to sleep and do nothing else definitely not touch herself that’s for sure.
Sliding into his sheets, Penelope let out a sigh. Soft and welcoming, the fabric was heaven against her skin. Despite the smell of laundry detergent, she could still detect traces of Colin, and she inhaled blissfully.
For the thousandth time in her life, she wished he was there with her. Wished he was the one wrapping himself around her and holding her close. That he was as earth-shatteringly, dementedly, life-ruiningly obsessed with her as she was with him.
She would just have to pretend.
Closing her eyes she pushed her hand in her waistband, in his waistband she corrected herself with a satisfied hum. Too worked up to build up to it she stroked her slit a few times, whimpering at how slick she was before thrusting two fingers deep within her. She let her moan out, deep and loud, not having to hold back her sounds for the first time in months. She brought her other hand to her clit, rubbing small circles as she thrust up onto her fingers, feeling ridiculously close already. It was too easy, being surrounded by him, his smells, his belongings. It was as close to being wrapped in him as she’d ever get, and she already knew once she came she’d be chasing another immediately.
In her mind’s eye, Colin stared down at her, his hands on her body, his hands in her body. He kissed her breathless as he fucked her with his fingers, whispering a mixture of filth and adoration into her mouth.
She was so close now, and she felt it building like a wave, startlingly strong. He was so close in her mind she can almost feel him touching her, caressing her. Her mouth fell open at the with pleasure, moans tearing from her throat as she arches up, frantically thrashing as she comes to her peak.
“Colin.-”
His name fell from her lips as she shattered, body pulsing with spasm after spasm as she feels wetness gush around her fingers. She pulled them out of herself with a shudder and opened her eyes.
Colin was standing at the foot of the bed.
Only for a moment though, because then he was climbing up the bed and pinning her down before she can even process that he’s there.
Disoriented from her orgasm and in utter shock that he was here, that he has seen her finger herself, that he was now on top of her, Penelope could only stare up at the man panting mere inches from her face.
“Penelope.” His voice was desperate in a way that sends sparks straight through her. “Were you fucking yourself to the thought of me?”
She could only nod, not quite remembering how to speak. He moaned in reply and then he was kissing her, mouth devouring hers, tongue pushing inside, hands pulling at her clothing. Penelope responds in kind, her brain short-circuiting while her body takes over. His body crushes her into the mattress, and she can feel him. It was too much. It was not enough. She was going insane.
He was pushing down her pants and lifting up her hoodie at the same time, grabbing at her breasts and ass like he can’t decide what he wants to touch more. She was happy to assist, shoving his and her own clothing out of the way as they scramble to get as much skin to skin contact as possible.
Once they were naked he wasted no time lining himself up with her, their eager hands and mouths clearly communicating that what comes next is not so much a want as a need. Penelope cried out as he plunged into her, his groan sending shockwaves into her very core. He began to fuck her immediately, thrusting hard and deep, each curl of his hips sending flashes behind Penelope’s eyelids.
She struggled to keep her eyes open, unwilling to lose sight of a naked Colin Bridgerton, completely feral, fucking her, owning her, for even a second. His hair fell onto his forehead and his eyes bore into her own, dark with desire and need. Her hips seemed to snap up to meet his of their own volition, each slap of flesh pounding pleasure into her, harder and harder and more and more and more. She felt her climax building as he begins to speak, his voice rough and ragged.
“Fuck, Pen, you feel so fucking good-”
She was dreaming, she was sure of it.
“I’ve dreamt of this pussy for so fucking long-”
Didn't she have this exact fantasy only a second ago?
“And then you come here, in my apartment and wear my clothes-”
Every line was punctuated with a thrust, his cock hitting her so deep within her she was sure she felt him in her belly.
“..and you don't even wear underwear? Are you fucking kidding me Pen? You tell me that like I'm not supposed to imagine your bare pussy in my clothes? Your tits?”
Pen could only whine, eyes rolling back in her head.
“Did you really expect me to not fuck you, Penelope??”
His voice came in pants now, and she could feel his thrusts begin to falter. She felt her walls flutter as if in response.
“Did you.. really expect me…to not…make you…mine?”
Penelope was coming now, at least she thought she was. Pleasure was pouring out of her and into her in every direction and she was drowning. Somehow, though, she was still climbing higher and higher. Writhing frantically, eyes locked on his, her moans rose in pitch as she hurtled towards the edge.
Colin’s eyes were frantic, and he lowered himself even further until his mouth hovered over hers. When he spoke he thrust with each word, making her see stars.
“You….are…mine.”
Penelope shattered then, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through her convulsing body. Colin caught her moans in his mouth, his own climax ripping through him with a shudder as he fucked them both through it.
They lay like that for a few minutes, the silence filled with ragged breaths and thumping hearts. Penelope tentatively raised one hand to stroke the hair at the back of his head. Yep, real. This was real. Somehow.
Above her Colin shifted his weight so he wasn't crushing her, rolling them so he was on his back and she was draped over his chest. He kissed her forehead. The gentlest, littlest kiss. Penelope really thought she might cry this time.
“Hey, Pen.”
Colin's regular voice comes as a surprise, and she can't help but let out a shocked laugh.
“Hey, Colin.”
“I came home early.”
“I can see that.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“You did surprise me.”
“I thought if you stayed at my place it would be an even better surprise."
“Well, I was really surprised.”
“Then I couldn't stop thinking about you in my clothes….I can't really stop thinking about you ever, actually...”
Penelope looked up at him, unable to fathom how her life had improved so drastically in such a small amount of time.
“That's good to know, because I'm kind of obsessed with you...”
Colin's returning smile was dazzling.
“Amazing. Let's have sex again”