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One Point Five Years to Say I Love You

Summary:

Five times Klavier says I love you without words and one time he says it to Apollo's face

Notes:

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1. Spring

Apollo knew he looked like hell and if Trucy's awed face was any indication, he must look even worse than this morning right after he had woken up and had stared into the mirror. It had been a long night, all to prepare for their current trial. There had been an appeal, apparently new evidence that should prove their client was guilty, and he had two days to gather all counter-evidence, not made easier by the fact that the witness who obviously was the real murderer, made it harder for them at every step. And on top of that he hadn't had the time to go to his usual coffee store.

But Apollo was almost a hundred percent certain he would win and if it wouldn't ban him out of court, he would quite literally throw the countless folders he had gathered into the witness’ face and laugh maniacally.

"Ahh, Herr Forehead!"

Apollo grimaced at the way too energetic voice and proceeded to overanalyze his will to live. With a sigh he turned towards Klavier who somehow managed to always look perfectly sculpted as if he had used several cans of hairspray to make sure there would be not one single strand out of place. In comparison, Apollo hadn't had the time he usually needed to shape his hair so now it was drooping sadly in front of his face.

"You have something here." Klavier said and tapped underneath his stupidly beautiful eye.

Apollo twitched. "My eyebags?"

Sympathy flooded Klavier's expression. "Wow."

"Yeah," Apollo said miserably and suppressed the most monstrous yawn that wanted to tear apart his lungs. Hell. Was the room spinning or was that just Klavier's stupidly good smelling cologne?

Klavier stretched out a hand towards Apollo's face. Apollo blamed it on his tiredness when he didn't move away, instead letting Klavier press cool finger tips against his cheek, a thumb wiping gently underneath his eyes. "You need to sleep more, Herr Forehead."

Apollo grumbled. "Sure, if the opposition hadn't 'forgotten' to provide the evidence we demanded until yesterday."

When he reached up his hand to wipe at his eyes Klavier stepped back and Apollo almost missed the cool fingers against his skin.

"Here." Klavier held out a cup of take-out coffee with a smile and Apollo startled, blinking down at the beverage with confusion.

"Whazzat?"

"Coffee. How tragic, did sleep deprivation take away your logical reasoning?"

"I know what it is, but- why?"

"You look like your eyebags are trying to escape your face, Herr Forehead. It's simply public service to make sure there won't be another death in the courtroom."

"I can't take your coffee," Apollo said. And then, because sleep deprivation made him more of an asshole, "I don't like the way you order coffee anyway. It's barely coffee."

Klavier liked to buy a frappuccino with extra cream and chocolate sauce on top because he was just like that. He must be getting a constant eight hours of sleep every day because the caffeine in that concoction was not enough to deal with this court on too little sleep. Also, his skin was practically glowing and he didn't have the dead eyes many other lawyers had. Life truly wasn't fair.

"I have my own here." Klavier raised his other hand, delicately holding a bigger cup Apollo hadn't noticed. "Yours is black coffee, how you usually like it, with a shot of espresso because I knew you wouldn't get sleep today."

Apollo's jaw slackened. Maybe it would stay stuck like this forever because- huh?

"You brought me coffee. For me. Coffee for me."

Klavier shook it gently in front of his face and gave him his usual smarmy grin. Maybe Apollo found it a little bit charming.

"Why?"

"Can't I get my favorite defendant a coffee without scrutiny?"

"No no, it's just-" Apollo accepted the cup with a warm feeling in his chest. "Thanks. Really. You saved my ass."

Klavier gave him a cheeky salute. And with that he brushed past him. "You have it in the bag, Herr Forehead! This won't even be a challenge."

Apollo turned towards Trucy who seemed to be brimming with excited energy, her grin almost splitting her face.

"What was that?" he muttered.

Trucy only rolled her eyes. "You're hopeless." She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him towards the courtroom. "Now come, it's time to curbstomp a witness!"

 

2. Summer

Apollo was friendly enough with the other lawyers who he regularly met around the courthouse or whenever he needed fresh eyes on his cases. He wouldn't call them friends but he would claim with full confidence that they were at least on good terms.

Which was why when he walked through the corridor hurriedly, arms ladened with folders and was about to round the corner he didn't immediately clock that they were talking about him.

"I don't get why he gets all the high-profile cases. Do they want him to embarrass himself in court?"

"Right? And he's always so damn loud. I swear, one of these days my ears are gonna fall off."

"It's like dude, calm down. We can hear you, you don't have to yell every damn objection."

"So loud for someone who's so often wrong. Guy takes the Justice in his name a bit too seriously."

Ah. That was what this was about.

He stood still and debated simply walking past them. They were friendly enough but not actual friends that their ribbing would hurt him in any way. Still, this was kind of an uncomfortable situation. Should he confront them? Defend himself? Not that there was anything to defend himself from, he knew that he could be a bit loud sometimes after all. Ahh, this felt supremely childish and he wasn't any better, hiding behind a wall, debating with himself. He should just walk past.

The next words made his breath stop.

"What do you think, Gavin? You've worked with him a lot, I'm shocked your ears are still working."

Apollo pressed himself closer to the wall, straining his ears to hear Klavier's answer and threw all concerns of childishness out the window. Until now he hadn't even had the thought that Klavier could be one of them, standing around a water dispenser making fun of him. Something about that thought made him nauseous.

"Ach, really? If that's the only thing one can criticize him about, I think that just goes to show how good of a lawyer he is." Klavier's voice was light and airy but there was something glacial in it. "Attorney Justice might be a bit intense but I would call that passion, love for his work and standing up for what is right. Which a lot of attorneys seem to lack nowadays."

"I mean-" The clearing of a throat. "We're just saying that, you know, he's a bit... much sometimes."

Klavier's voice became more firm. "A bit much? He's one of the best attorneys I had the pleasure of meeting. If you're intimidated by him, if you're angered that he gets high-profile cases, then you should worry less about his volume. Instead you could learn a thing or two from him."

They chuckled awkwardly, trying to dispel the heavy air that had settled over them.

"Come on, we're just messing around."

"Oh, I am aware." Klavier's voice sounded like it could cut through metal and Apollo felt his face warm. "But you should be aware, Attorney Justice takes every single one of his cases seriously. He doesn't rest until he can uncover the truth. And he actually cares about his clients, no matter how hopeless the situation appears. He doesn't cut any corners, doesn't rest. That is why the big cases go to him, why he's so loud in court. Because he cares."

Embarrassed shuffling, the amused chuckles had long disappeared. "We didn't mean it like that, you know that."

There was an awkward silence and Apollo wished he could spy around the corner to see the face Klavier was making. Half-hearted excuses were mumbled and footsteps sounded as their colleagues quickly left, now realizing that they wouldn't find agreement with Klavier.

Apollo stayed rooted behind the wall, slowly inching forward to catch a glimpse of Klavier as he left. Instead Klavier was still standing in front of the water dispenser, smiling down at his cup as he lightly swished it back and forth.

"Honestly, Herr Forehead." His eyes were so unimaginably soft as he spoke. "As if there's anything to defend you from."

Apollo could only continue staring at him, confused and warmed by his words. He had no idea that Klavier thought like that about him.

 

3. Fall

"Do you really want the court to see you like this, Herr Forehead?"

Apollo glanced down at his attire and then up at Klavier in question when he didn't find anything out of order. They were standing in front of the courthouse, the fresh november wind breezing around them as if trying to push them closer together. Apollo shuddered and cursed himself for forgetting his coat at the agency.

"Not everyone can constantly look as perfect as you," he muttered and realized with annoyance he had said it out loud.

Klavier blinked at him, something like shock written on his face and Apollo felt himself grin victoriously that he could make this usually unflappable man more... well, flappable.

Quickly however Klavier pulled his usual smile back onto his face, if possible even wider than before. "Ach, Herr Forehead, I didn't realize you think so highly of me!"

"Not anything you haven't heard before I'm sure," Apollo said with a warm face and wished time travel existed so he could go back and kill himself before he ever said that.

"Only few people I care to hear it from," Klavier said and stepped closer, almost close enough that Apollo could count his stupidly long eyelashes.

Surprisingly, Apollo didn't find it in him to step back. Instead he almost leaned closer as if magnetized by him.

Klavier raised his hands and Apollo's breath caught in what was definitely not anticipation, no thank you. Just like his heart was definitely not beating quicker.

"Your tie is crooked." Deft fingers gripped his tie and straightened it. Their faces were only inches apart as Klavier worked to fix his tie with a concentrated look on his face, tongue poking out of his lips, as if Apollo's clothing deserved as much attention as his court cases.

Apollo found himself transfixed by the miniscule twitches of Klavier's lips, the way his eyes flitted around the rest of Apollo's clothes, trying to find more mistakes to fix. They shot up for a brief moment and met Apollo's. Klavier flinched back slightly as if he hadn't realized how close they were standing before clearing his throat and brushing imaginary dust off Apollo's shoulders.

"Da. Wunderbar. You're good to go!"

A slight snort escaped Apollo's lips at Klavier's sheepish voice, the underlying panic he was trying to hide. So much for always being suave.

"Hey, Klavier!" he called when Klavier turned around to walk into the building. Briefly he stopped, fighting for the words to come up before they finally spurted out of his lips like a waterfall. "How 'bout, you know, later, like- like after the trial I mean, uhm... wanna go for a coffee? Like- as- as friends and stuff."

And Klavier smiled at him, so brightly as if he had hung the sun and the stars, as if he was the only thing in the world worth smiling for. It smashed right into Apollo and made the world feel off-kilter for a moment.

"Ja! I mean- yeah. Yes. I'd like that. Friends and stuff."

"Great! I mean- good. Nice. Then see you later?"

"Herr Forehead, we're going to the same courtroom."

Coughing, Apollo hid his fidgeting hand in his pocket and scratched his head. "I know that!"

 

4. Winter

Apollo was two seconds away from ripping out his hair, quitting his job and becoming Trucy's permanent assistant. The case he was working on had no leads and all evidence pointing at his client as the murderer but he was absolutely convinced that she was innocent. Unfortunately a bracelet that could give him an inkling if people were being truthful was not admissible in court.

It was three in the morning and his bed was calling to him like a siren to a sailor.

He could also do well as Trucy's manager, get her new gigs, make sure everything was safe. That was an idea. Quit his job and become Trucy's bodyguard.

Oh who was he kidding, he did not have the biceps to be a bodyguard. An assistant on the other hand-

"Herr Forehead, you look like you'd fall unconscious if I showed you a picture of a bed." Klavier still looked perfect but at least he too seemed to be affected by eyebags. Not as bad as Apollo's, and without having bloodshot eyes, without the messy hair or wrinkles from yawning and frowning but at least there was some darkness under his eyes, peeking out from underneath his smudged concealer.

Klavier had offered to help him with this case but it seemed he too was coming to an end.

"Klavier, do you think I'd look good as a man sawed in half? You think I could pull off a blue suit and tophat? Wait, assistants would probably wear a different outfit. Would you help me pick out a magician outfit, Klav?"

"You should go to bed, Herr Forehead. You can continue after you wake up. Come on, up with you." Klavier pulled the papers out of his hands, grabbed his wrists and yanked him up. He stumbled into Klavier and suddenly vertigo took over as they both fell to the ground when Klavier clearly overestimated how steady he was. Or underestimated how unsteady Apollo was.

Apollo landed heavily on top of Klavier, his chin hooked over his shoulder, nose pressed to his neck with Klavier's arms having instinctually wrapped around him as Klavier crashed onto the floor, Apollo right on top of him. Klavier let out a noise of pain and if Apollo had been any more awake he would have immediately jumped up to make sure he was okay. However, Klavier was soft and warm and he immediately felt himself melt, all his muscles untensing to droop into the other.

Oh. Oh wow. Tiredness suddenly hit him like a spell, almost knocking him out right there and then. For a second he might have blacked out. Okay, maybe he was more exhausted than he had thought. The two energy drinks he had chugged were doing jack shit.

"Uhm- h-hey, Herr Forehead?"

"Hmmmnghhhhh," Apollo stated.

He let out a sigh into Klavier's neck and Klavier flinched so hard, it almost shook Apollo awake. However, the arms around him didn't let go, like a nice weighted blanket.

"You're like a blanket, Klav," he said. "Nice 'n cozy 'n all."

"O-okay." Klavier's voice was weirdly high pitched. He cleared his throat. "We can also stay here. On the floor. Of the office. Instead of the couch right beside us."

"Hmmmmm' tired."

"You're not drunk, right?"

"Need to-" Apollo yawned, lips grazing Klavier's neck. "Need to continue with the case-"

Klavier tightened his hold, one hand finding itself in his hair to card thin, strong fingers through his unkempt strands. "Oder- we can stay right here and have a nice, long sleep. How does that sound?"

And like that it was basically impossible to get up and continue working. Now that just wasn't fair. Such temptation truly was a dangerous weapon.

"'Night, Klav," he muttered.

Soft breath fanned over his head. "Gute Nacht, Schatz."

-

Apollo woke up warm, comfortable and rested after the best nap of his entire life. It didn't take long to start internally screaming.

Klavier Gavin was lying underneath him, hair messy, chest rising and sinking with even breaths, mouth slightly parted and looking so peaceful, Apollo really did not want to wake him up. And that was definitely not because waking him up meant facing the consequences of his idiotic sleep-ridden mind, nope, no sir.

Klavier had let himself be used as a mattress. Klavier had slept on the floor with him, just to get him to rest. Klavier had slept on the floor with him, cuddling him. Klavier had-

For a moment his entire brain screeched to a halt before rebooting again, this time in full panic mode.

Apollo blindly grabbed his phone and made a call. Trucy picked up on the fourth ring.

"Polly? It's six in the morning, what're ya callin' me for?"

"Hey, uhm, so, if someone lets you sleep on them on the floor for an entire night, what does that mean? Like, like, cuddling and all."

Silence rang louder than any gunshot could. Finally Trucy spoke, "Oh my god."

-

It turned out Apollo had a crush on Klavier Gavin. He was the fourth person to realize his crush on Klavier Gavin.

Right after Klavier himself, if Apollo correctly interpreted his patient smiles, his exasperation every time Apollo mentioned how good of a friend he was, his good-natured eye rolls whenever Apollo was surprised when Klavier brought him coffee, when he remembered how he liked to take his coffee and oh god, Klavier probably liked him back and was just waiting for him to realize.

Oh god oh fuck oh-

-

Apollo Justice had a boyfriend by the end of the day.

 

5. Spring

Klavier, as much as he liked to talk and wrap Apollo with compliments and praise, was guarded with his most vulnerable emotions. Which Apollo couldn't fault him for. Kristoph had been his mentor, he could only imagine what it had been like to be his younger brother.

So instead he learned to decode Klavier's ways of communication. The way his smile got strained when he was uncomfortable but didn't want Apollo to worry. The way he found joy in silly figurines but didn't tell Apollo out of fear of being ridiculed. The way he put all his unsaid emotions in his songs but feared saying them to Apollo with his words, always on guard to be mocked for showing his true self. The way his nose scrunched when he needed to cry but really didn't want to. The way he called Apollo every term of endearment in the world because he still couldn't believe Apollo really liked him. The way he squeezed Apollo's wrist twice because saying I love you felt too much like opening up your heart for someone to take it and rip it out.

So Apollo took him out of situations that made him uncomfortable. He bought silly little figurines in secret and put them on Klavier's desk for him to find later. He complimented his lyrics and discussed them with Klavier, speaking in metaphors, he leaned against Klavier when he needed to cry and let him without saying a word, he tried to learn a bit of German just so he could hit back with a well-timed "Ja, mein Geliebter?" and he squeezed back, twice around Klavier's wrist. He did it before a trial, he did it when they were getting dinner, when they were walking side by side, he squeezed his arm twice, always twice, before one of Klavier's concerts, when they were lying in bed, when they were brushing their teeth, when they were working on a case, when they were kissing.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Klavier whispered one day into the darkness of the night as if hoping all memories of the conversation would disappear with the rising daylight.

And Apollo snorted and turned around until he could wrap himself around his boyfriend.

"You're really easy to love, Klav."

And Klavier squeezed twice around his wrist.

 

+ 1. Summer

The first time Klavier told Apollo "I love you" it wasn't monumental. It wasn't in some kind of special place, it wasn't accompanied by a grand gesture, it wasn't on a date or after a big speech.

It was in the apartment they had moved in together, in the morning as they were preparing breakfast while around them the town was waking up from its slumber.

Apollo was waving his arms dramatically as he recounted his last trial, still pumped up from his win the night before. There had been a bank robbery with fingerprints pointing to his client but "then Mr. Payne asked his client for his testimony and I realized a hole in his statement! You see, whenever he told the story of his alibi he tapped against his head three times, so I recounted every time he did it and realized that there was a contradiction to his first statement and-"

He stopped, blinking at the way Klavier was smiling at him, soft and warm, cheek leaned against his palm as if Apollo was an artwork in a museum, to be admired, to be taken in.

"Und dann?" Klavier asked. Despite his look he was listening and Apollo couldn't help but feel a pool of warmth in his stomach at that.

"So, then I objected and..."

He recounted the rest of the trial, as they ate breakfast, as they brushed their teeth and as they dressed themselves.

He finally finished as Klavier stepped forward to correct his tie. Apollo still didn't know what was so wrong with the way he did his ties- though maybe there wasn't anything and Klavier just wanted to do this for him. "I swear, Mr. Payne looked like he was about to lose the rest of his hair!"

"I love you," Klavier said casually.

They both paused. Apollo could feel a smile pulling at his lips, could feel his cheeks grow warmer. Klavier wetted his lips, unsure gaze becoming more determined.

"I love you," Klavier said as if tasting something familiar he couldn't define, "I love you," Klavier said as if the words were foreign on his tongue, "Ich liebe dich," Klavier said as if saying it in German would make it feel less vulnerable, "I love you," Klavier said in desperation, angry how long it had taken him to let go of these three simple words, "I love you," Klavier said, slowly gaining confidence, "I love you," Klavier said as if he was trying to catch up on several months of not saying it.

"I love you," Klavier said in the same way one points at the sky to declare it blue.

And Apollo grabbed his tie to pull him down and kiss him, not caring if he was messing up Klavier's carefully obtained tidiness. He pressed his lips against Klavier's, chased away the last remnants of unsureness, gently pushing against his parted mouth.

When he leaned back to grin up at Klavier he could only see love, confident and there.

"I love you too," he grinned.