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It was unkind that fruit took so long to ripen. Such profound potential, so much beautiful optimism, such strict honor codes… they’d be so delicious to break once they’d hardened, grown, learned to hate him more than they feared him… but not yet, and while he was a patient man, he had needs now and he needed to kill something or he was going to crawl out of his own skin and collapse in a supernova of unfulfilled lust, but he couldn’t kill anything right now because if he killed something right now it would be one of those juicy little morsels and he’d get mad at himself later, or else it would be one of those examiners following everyone around and he’d get disqualified again and then he’d have to do the whole thing yet again and it was getting so, so boring, so he needed to get his bloodlust under control before he did anything else, he would simply condense all of this violence and rage into a dense little ball of potential to draw on later, but that took time and effort and so now he was standing right here.
“’soka.”
He was just going to keep standing right here and feel the blood pumping in his ears and feel his mouth watering and feel his skin prickling.
“’soka. Hisoka.”
Just think of how nice their deaths would be later. Later. He was investing in the future. He was strong enough to keep his urges under control. Just think of little Kurapika trying to bargain his way out of death, Leorio pulling out his sweet little switchblade without a hint of embarrassment. Just keep it inside, keep it for later.
“Hisoka.”
Hm. Normally when he imagined people saying his name, they were screaming. This didn’t sound like that. He couldn’t focus on it enough to determine what it sounded like instead. Maybe it was some new part of him trying to help him calm down. It was kind of a nice voice, but he wished it was screaming.
He heard a sigh. That was good, that meant he was getting bored. Boredom only got exciting people killed. He didn’t feel bored yet, he still felt his nerves crackling under his skin, he felt his ribcage trying to crack itself in half, he felt the wound in his shoulder throbbing and begging him to stick his hand inside, but if he was sighing he was probably calming down.
He felt a hand grasp his ankle. That was smart. If he kept himself anchored down, he couldn’t go anywhere, and he couldn’t try to level the forest or eat the little green boy or anything. Yeah, he was doing okay. He was handling this really well.
Something sharp joined the hand on his ankle. Several sharp things. Thin, sharp things. Not his usual style. He should probably look into that. Easy. Just tilt his head down a little bit, twist neck just a little, didn’t have to disturb his reverie at all. Twisting pulled at the gash in his shoulder, sending pain swirling through his neck and jaw. He felt something in his throat move, so he might have made a noise, but he wasn’t really focusing on hearing right now. Just looking down and slightly to the right.
Hisoka blinked blearily. Big eyes stared back up at him from the ground. There was a hand on his ankle. Not one of Hisoka’s, so it probably belonged to the eyes. It had several pins between its fingers, which explained the little sharp things he had felt. They were pretty nice, actually. Maybe the eyes would let him use some more of them.
Oh, the eyes had a mouth, too. “Hisoka. Be quiet.”
Pretty mouth. Tiny little mouth. A porcelain doll not designed for speech. Hisoka should break that porcelain face, smash its lips so it could open its mouth properly and show its teeth. He wondered whether one of his fingers would even fit in its mouth, and hoped it would bite it off.
The eyes’ hand tugged at his ankle again. A little blood trickled over his ankle bone. “Hisoka.”
It kept talking. People didn’t talk to Hisoka when he was like this. People didn’t usually talk to Hisoka at all. But this one kept talking, and it knew him, so he probably knew it, so he should probably figure out who it was. This was pretty annoying, because it was probably going to be a person he wasn’t supposed to kill and he’d have to start this whole process over again.
The rest of the face was also there, sticking up from the dirt at Hisoka’s feet. Now the gears were turning. He’d gotten there. “Illumi?”
The tiny little mouth said something under its breath. Then it spoke properly. “Yeah. Can you be quiet?”
Hisoka furrowed his brow. “I’m not loud.”
“Your bloodlust is.”
He’d been briefly distracted by this new apparition. At the reminder of his bloodlust, the whole reason for his reverie, he felt it throb back up again. Illumi was here, Illumi was touching him, Illumi wasn’t ready to be killed yet but he was so much closer than any of the others, so maybe Hisoka could sneak just a little treat right now, he wouldn’t spoil his appetite just by fighting with Illumi right now, letting Illumi do his absolute worst and still be unable to defeat Hisoka, see Illumi’s ego collapsing in front of him as he was unable to do the one thing he’d been designed for, maybe Illumi would even beg for Hisoka to let him live, which would be such a great defeat in itself, or maybe Hisoka would just get to feel his blood trickling over his hands -
“Damn it.” Illumi retracted his pins, which was a loss. He pulled himself out of his hole, sitting on the edge and dangling his legs. “That’s worse.”
Hisoka turned fully towards Illumi now, fingers twitching. Just a little taste.
“I’m not going to fight, Hisoka. You won’t have fun.”
That couldn’t be true. Illumi would always be fun.
Illumi slightly narrowed his eyes. “I’m tired. I want to go to sleep. Your bloodlust is keeping me awake.”
No, he didn’t want to kill Illumi here. Illumi was still the best option to kill him one day, and he wasn’t ready to be killed yet, so they couldn’t fight yet. It would be stupid to break a precious toy before he’d acquired a replacement. So back to compressing that bloodlust back down, back to trying to stop thinking of tendons snapping between his teeth. It would be easier if he closed his eyes and stopped looking at Illumi, but Hisoka rarely made things easier for himself.
Illumi still wasn’t leaving. “How long do you expect this to last?”
Hisoka guessed that needed a verbal answer. His voice scratched against his ears, both too loud and too distant to belong to him. “A day. Two.”
“Ugh.” Illumi stood fully now, stepping around the hole to stand directly in front of Hisoka. He tapped his chin with his finger. “You know,” he mused, “I really regret we didn’t meet earlier. I could have prevented these bad habits of yours. You’re barely listening, are you?”
Of course he was listening. The doll was using its strange little voice and indulging in its strange little fantasies. It was captivating.
“You could be so useful if you had -,” Illumi stepped forward again, untying the fabric around Hisoka’s hips, “any self-control.”
That seemed unfair. Maybe Illumi didn’t notice that Hisoka wasn’t strangling him right now. He was a little stupid sometimes, so that would make sense.
The fabric dropped to the ground. “If you just let me work on you for a year, you’d be so much better. I wouldn’t even need pins. Six months of basic resistance-building, six months of psychological strengthening… obviously those don’t need to be sequential, so we’d also fit in some evasion training….” Illumi kept speaking. Hisoka zoned out. This was more for Illumi than him, anyway.
Illumi liked fantasizing about molding Hisoka into his own image. It was sweet. Hisoka sometimes got goosebumps when Illumi went on these little monologues. He’d gotten bolder about them lately. Illumi often spoke without realizing it, and these monologues had gotten that treatment, spoken without intention on an otherwise silent airship or when they were cleaning after a job. Now he was saying it to Hisoka’s face, albeit while Hisoka was pretty spaced out. He liked that Illumi wanted to fix him so badly. Sometimes he was even tempted to go through with it, to spend a year in Illumi’s dungeon being the perfect student for him, just to rip Illumi’s heart out when by the end Hisoka was the same as he’d always been. Not worth the time investment, but fun to think about.
Illumi’s fingers were inside his shoulder. Illumi was still speaking, probably trying to make some kind of point, but Hisoka was just focused on his gently probing fingers. He would have leaned further into the touch if he wanted to move right now.
“’soka. Are you listening?”
Of course he was listening. He gave a little hum. There was blood in his mouth now, which was probably because Illumi’s fingers were in there too. One gently stroked Hisoka’s tongue. This was Hisoka’s blood. Sweet.
“Okay. I’m going to start now.” Illumi took his fingers from Hisoka and knelt in front of him.
Illumi had probably explained what he was about to do and why, but Hisoka hadn’t paid attention, so he was curious to see where Illumi was going with this. The cloth falling to his feet gave a hint, as did the fingers grasping his hips. Illumi was planning to get him off, then. That wouldn’t help, but that was no reason to stop him. Illumi had so few pleasures in life.
And, to Illumi’s credit, Hisoka was hard. That had probably been true for a while, though it was hard to say when it had happened. More than a minute ago, less than a day. Illumi stared as he normally did. Hisoka made no effort to remember the face Illumi made. It would be the same face next time they met.
He did, though, make an effort to remember how Illumi’s mouth stretched around his cock. The doll mouth could open after all. It was strange to see it deformed this way, and Hisoka liked it.
Hisoka was not surprised to discover Illumi’s lack of gag reflex. If he’d ever had one, it would have been trained out long ago. He’d ask how later. Illumi spoke sometimes about the benefits of acupuncture and he might have mentioned something on the matter. Hisoka hadn’t listened.
Illumi’s mouth was warm and wet, like anybody’s would be, which was a little disappointing. It was probably more disappointing to Illumi than Hisoka. Illumi would have liked to be cold and hollow, his mouth just a black void for poison to enter and mission reports to exit. It was funny to think of Illumi being disappointed to discover he gave great blowjobs. Hisoka decided to laugh about that later.
He was moving now – or else Hisoka was, which seemed less likely but couldn’t be ruled out – slowly in and out, back and forth, et cetera et cetera. He did not make much effort to keep his teeth out of the way. Or maybe he tried and failed, but it was hard to imagine Illumi being bad at something and doing it anyway. The tip of Hisoka’s cock scraped against Illumi’s molars again. No, this was probably intentional. Illumi probably thought Hisoka was into this kind of thing. Maybe he was. He’d never bothered figuring it out.
He wondered if Gittarackur’s mouth would have felt any different. That mouth genuinely might not open far enough to accomplish the task at hand. Even if it did, those pins in the jawline might extend all the way into the mouth. That would be more interesting to discover. Especially if the pins held as much aura as he suspected necessary for Illumi to stay disguised so long.
A hand grabbed one of Hisoka’s and placed it onto Illumi’s head. Sweet thing. Illumi wanted this done so traditionally. Hisoka didn’t feel compelled to pull Illumi any further onto his cock; Illumi was already able to press his mouth against Hisoka’s pelvis, which was unnecessary but probably made Illumi proud. Hisoka could at least curl his fingers and dig his nails into Illumi’s scalp, so he did. Illumi’s throat vibrated a little bit – he might have moaned, or he might have complained. Didn’t matter. Hisoka’s nails weren’t sharp enough to pierce Illumi’s skin without Nen. That was probably good. He was still trying to tamp this bloodlust down. He’d almost forgotten.
Illumi was moving faster now. At no point did he look up to make eye contact – Hisoka took a moment to check that his own eyes were open, and they did seem to be – nor did Illumi close his eyes. He just stared straight ahead. Did Illumi need to blink? Maybe that had been trained out of him too.
Hisoka would probably cum shortly. Illumi was probably more aware of that than Hisoka was, so he’d let him deal with that. He was flicking his tongue at the tip of Hisoka’s cock, reminding him not for the first time of a cat lapping at milk. Illumi seemed to be attempting to show off some technical prowess. That was very sweet. Maybe he’d let Illumi try again when Hisoka was a little more lucid. Hisoka also decided to laugh later at the image of Illumi curled up with instruction manuals on oral sex, taking notes and practicing techniques. It was hard to believe that Illumi would try anything without significant prep-work. The manuals had probably not mentioned that one typically blinked.
A few more strokes and Hisoka did finish. Illumi kept Hisoka’s cock lodged deep down his throat, swallowing without flinching. Blood started rushing through Hisoka’s ears again, highlighting that it must have stopped at some point during this encounter. His shoulders did soften, releasing tension. It was impossible to say whether this was a net improvement, given how he had tensed when Illumi arrived.
After a few more moments, Illumi released Hisoka’s cock, then stood back up. He stared at Hisoka’s face. A small frown formed, which pleased Hisoka. “You’re still radiating bloodlust.”
So he was.
“Stop that.”
He was trying.
“Ugh.” Illumi pulled Hisoka’s pants back up, even tucking his dick back into his underwear. “I really hoped that would help.”
Illumi hadn’t figured out that lust and bloodlust were different things and needed different solutions. Maybe that was why Illumi was always so unsatisfied.
“Well, whatever. I’m going back to bed. Try to be quiet.”
Hisoka made the effort to acknowledge his departure, contorting his face into something resembling a polite smile. Illumi slipped back into his dirt hole, then filled the hole back in. Hisoka didn’t think he’d buried himself here the first time. He might have tunneled. Regardless, Hisoka was alone once more.
A pleasant diversion. Maybe there was actually a little less malice swirling around the island now, a little less menace oozing out of Hisoka. He’d been briefly distracted if nothing else. But now Illumi was gone, another beautiful target once again out of reach, so that deprived beast under Hisoka’s skin started clawing at his insides again. He settled back into the labor of calming down. It would be a long night.