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Pandora hummed as she sat in Solstice's lap, leaned forwards against his chest. Her chin was propped up on his shoulder, her arm draped over the opposite shoulder, and her other hand playing with the tip of one of his rays.
They were sitting up on his bed, cuddling close, content. They had transferred up here from the lab to be more comfortable, and comfortable it was. Pan was enjoying her place in his lap, feeling safe and sound. It was nice.. really nice.
But she had something that had been on her mind for awhile, and it was bugging her…
She tentatively pulled away a bit from him, so she was face to face with him once again. Her eyes cast down and to the side, unsure how to word her question.
"Hey sol…" she began
"Hm?"
"Could we.. try something, maybe, possibly? Only if you want to of course-"
“You’d have to give me more than that, but I see no reason why not?”
Solstice easily replied, offering a tentatively calming smile, and bringing his hands down to the other’s waist to rub circles on them with his thumbs.
The touch made her choke back a soft sound, enjoying the gentleness. She screwed her eyes shut, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say.
"I- uhm-"
Her voice box let out static as she struggled, but Sol just waited patiently, giving her the time she needed to work through what she wanted.
"Fucking- uh- god-" she covered her face with a groan "why is this so hard…"
She was silent for a moment, before dropping her hands with a confident huff. "Yknow what, I'm an adult, I can do this!" She opened her mouth before slumping over and covering her face again "never-mind I'm going to kill myself-"
"Take your time, love." Solstice cooed, continuing to rub small, gentle circles in her hips.
"I- I-" her voice box stuttered before clicking off from overcharge.
Her fingers- claws sheathed -dug into her face in embarrassment. A moment later her voice box clicked on again with a low groan.
"I just- how- how do you feel about- yknow. "
Sol brought one hand up to softly remove Pan’s hands from her faceplate, partial worry etching itself a place on his expression as he spoke up once more.
“I do not, no, however you can take a deep breath and just tell me? You know I won’t bite you, dear. (<- fucking liar)” He adds in jest.
It was the truth, he honestly had no idea where this conversation was going, but it clearly meant something to the lunar animatronic, and he was going to respect that with every ounce of his being.
Pandora did as told, taking a deep breath.
It didn't help.
"I- I uhm- f-fuck-" she kept her eyes shut tight, face turned away in embarrassment. She almost looked like she was expecting to be hit, though of course she wasn't, it's.. just a comparison.
She knew Sol would never do that to her (unless she asked).
"Fucking hell- i-" she groaned, static seeping out in her voice again.
"Sex Sol, I'm asking how you feel about sex." She finally forced out.
The solar bot in question froze for a split second, before his rays retracted in full, then sprung out in a spin. The question had completely bypassed him, had he been standing he would’ve had to take a step back to regain balance.
Okay-... That sure was a question.
“Um… Do you mean in general, or-”
Heavens above that was a ridiculous question, but he rather not make assumptions and then cause more problems later on.
"No, I- I mean with me." She got closer again and buried her faceplate in his shoulder with a barely audible whine. "God I regret even asking-"
Her face felt like it was on fire, and she knew it was tinted.
Fucking hell.
Why did she think this was a good idea???
“I mean…. I never really thought about it?... Not that I would be opposed if that was what you wished for of course, I simply do not care for it much.”
Came Sol’s reply, as he shifted a hand to trace along Pandora’s back, letting his fans click slightly faster to help her have something else to focus on.
“I realized those words probably didn’t ease your worries- we never spoke of my sexuality did we… I’m part of the ace spectrum, I don't particularly have a drive for sex itself, but I’m not repulsed.”
"... this may be a stupid question, but the ace what now-?"
Pan had never cared to research about labels, they just… weren't something she cared to use herself, so she didn't care to learn.
Now she kind of wished she had because she was very, very confused.
Logically he knew, laughing at the situation at hand probably wasn’t going to help anyone, however, he honestly couldn’t stop the chuckles that passed through him at the tentative question, their reaction was just so adorable.
“... I think that may have to wait for another time, because I doubt your triad of questions were meant to derail this way, was it?”
"... no it wasn't…" she grumbled, pressing her face against his shoulder harder.
She felt like a fucking idiot. He didn't want to have sex with her, of course he didn't. He hadn't even thought about it, hadn't even crossed his mind! God, what was wrong with her-
Her fans were roaring, and she felt almost physically sick at how hard her systems were working to keep herself cool.
She sighed, fingers tangling in the sides of his shirt. "This was a bad idea…"
“Darling, I said I wasn’t opposed to the idea, just because I don’t particularly care for sex doesn’t mean I hate it.”
He quickly shushed that idea, bringing his free hand up to cup Pan’s face, trying to get her to look at him instead of focusing on whatever rabbithole their mind was spiraling down into.
“... Was that your line of questioning? To see if I wished to bed you?” He bit back a small snort, his words were light, he didn’t want them to stay so down.
She hesitated, eyes turning away, before nodding "y-yeah-..."
She felt so… gross about this whole thing and she didn't understand why. She sighed, pressing her face into his hands and closing her eyes, just trying to enjoy the gentle touch.
He made her feel so safe.. brought her a warmth that dispelled the anxieties and awfulness.
"You say you don't hate it, but I don't want to do it even if you don't like it." She mumbled, putting her hands on top of his and practically clinging to them.
His enjoyment was more important to her than her own….
“Darling, I said I wasn’t repulsed and if I didn’t like it, do you really think Nexus and I would’ve had the relationship we had?” He started off with an example, in hopes to make sure she understood it wasn’t something he was saying just to be nice.
“If you’d like to, I won’t say no to you, we can both find enjoyment in it, sex to me, is purely transactional in a sense.” Sol shrugged, “To release stress, have fun, share closeness, whichever fits at the moment.”
"Is it not just for that-?" Pandora peaked an eye open, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "I was under the assumption it was just for those things-??"
Now she was utterly lost-
“Haha, oh dearie, not always, some seek it out for pleasure, some seek it out because it feels like another step in a relationship, so one and so forth, at the end of the day it depends on the person.”
Solstice offered, before placing a soft kiss on the top of her head, another chuckle coming out of his voice box as a thought entered his mind.
“... I’m falling under the impression that this would be your first time?”
She was quiet for a moment before sighing and shutting her eyes back. "Yeah, it is…"
She shrugged. "It's not like I have any reason to have done it before… the only people I was around before were like my family, and you're the only person I've been close with since them…" she fiddled with his fingers that still rested on her face.
"I've never even really bothered to do it with myself- it doesn't do anything for me really. But- I don't know. I want to do it with you-? I don't know how to explain it… I just want to feel close with you like that I guess." The lunar animatronic huffed in frustration, wishing she could articulate how she felt easier.
"So- yeah- I get if you don't want to do it with me, but y'know…"
Instead of offering an answer right away, he placed a quick kiss on the lunar animatronic’s lips, silencing them once more, then finally speaking up.
“I’m more than okay with it, dear, I’d say I’m ‘happy to have sex with you’, but even I believe that sounds horribly corny in a sense-.”
Solstice sighed, “Are you sure you want me to be your first?... It is generally regarded as a sacred thing, where others often keep it with whoever they deemed their lifelong partner. I know you don’t particularly care for that department but-.... I thought it would only be fair to ask.”
Pandora shrugged, "I don't really care… it doesn't mean that much to me.. and I want to be with you, like this." She dropped her hand from his to instead play with the collar of his shirt, sighing softly.
"I'm more just worried that I won't be good at it… that's all, I don't really care about it being my "first". My virginity doesn't mean much to me." She turned her head away with a s hum "even if I did, I would want for it to be with you. We're not partners or anything, but you make me feel safe, and you're my best friend… I wouldn't want it with anyone else."
As he felt the glow of his cheeks turn on, he lowered his head to rest under hers, nuzzling against the crook of their neck, “You’re far too sweet for me… Don’t worry about not knowing, I’ll take it slow, okay?”
Pandora nodded, pressing a soft kiss to one of his rays. "Alright…"
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning back to peck his lips with a soft rumble akin to a purr.
"I love you so much…"
Her gaze finally landed on his face for the first time in what felt like hours. It was half-lidded and oh so soft, as if she was admiring him. It roved over his features, trying to soak up every detail.
God he was beautiful .
“And I, to you.”