Work Text:
It’s not like Nyota receives this assignment and is already against it. That would make her a poor officer and and all-around non-team player, which is absolutely what she is NOT.
No, this realization is the kind of thing that comes to her later, much later, because she doesn’t always know exactly the way she feels in the moment that she feels it.
Actually, she doesn’t know how she feels about it until she and Una are trapped on a planet, with Una performing old-school engineering maneuvers as part of a far-fetched but characteristically well-founded theory while Nyota is feverishly trying to understand whatever form of life has decided to disrupt their transporter system — and why.
And by then, of course, knowing that she has an issue working with Una is not only inconvenient but also nowhere near the top of Nyota’s priorities, so she just needs to push everything down and Deal with It.
And of course, the problem with THAT is that she needs to now spend a significant amount of energy trying to hide how she feels, because THE Number One has legendary powers, the kind that the best teachers in school always had, to tell if there is any kind of discord among their students and try to work it out.
The thing about Nyota, though, is that she has no interest in working this out in public. She’d rather work it out alone in her own time and privacy, so that she can deal with all the discomfort without anyone else witnessing. She doesn’t mind if people help her process work procedures out loud, just her own feelings.
It’s not that she doesn’t worry about being with a lot of people. She just finds it a little more stabilizing to have a small moment of hers alone, to tell who she is without all of the noise.
There’s a thread there that she really wants to follow, but she has to set that aside for a moment because suddenly, Una is looking at her exactly the way that Nyota did not want Una to look at her.
“Status report not ready yet,” says Nyota, trying to keep this about work. “Give me a just a little more time. This is a language system that has to do with flashing lights, but they also seem to have a very good grasp of the way that we communicate so far.”
“So were that transparent, huh?” quips Una dryly. “That’s great. You’re doing a good job, Ensign. I hope you know that.”
“I—“ Nyota tries to begin, but instead, Una keeps going, and Nyota tries to hide the fact that she was speaking to begin with.
“And if you don’t,” Una continues, nodding between the two of them, “I’ve just rewired some of the planet’s satellites for a little less interference, and so I’ve got time to help you in whatever way you need.”
Telling Una she doesn’t need help is exactly what is going to make her sound like she needs help.
She scrambles for something. “Uh, maybe you can try talking to the beings?” she asks. “Then I can just concentrate on the response and maybe test out how to deal with the lights.”
“Sure, anything in particular I should talk to them about?”
“I’m still working it out, but I think a key part of their culture revolves around harmony. That’s something that kept coming up in historical records about the planet.”
Una considers. “Every time there was a huge issue, instead of fighting about it, they would just shut everything down, until they were able to hold discussions about it.” She paces a little. “Sometimes to the detriment of the planet. Work would cease completely so the residents would need to work towards a solution or face starvation. No wonder this presence featured so heavily in their religion.”
But Nyota is frowning, because now she thinks she knows why the transporters aren’t working. “Are we having a huge issue?”
Una’s face, as usual, looks disturbingly neutral. “I was trying to ask, but I wasn’t sure. I also don’t want to mess with your workflow.”
“It’s possible they’re trying to mediate,” says Nyota, trying to ignore the part of herself that is telling her that perhaps none of this would be happening if she could just keep her thoughts and emotions in check like a normal person.
But Una looks completely unfazed. “Okay, so do you have any ideas about if their idea of mediation involves us speaking to each other in their presence or involving them in the discussion?”
“They’re really into transparency and community,” replies Nyota, with some relief that that’s a question for which she actually has an answer. Una looks as encouraging as a neutral-faced person can look, so Nyota continues. “So in the interest of uh, transparency and community, I just feel a little bit of um, imposter syndrome in front of you.”
Una’s face is unreadable. “Because I’m not providing a flexible enough learning environment?”
No, no, that’s not what she wants at all. “No, just because you’re so — certain — of what you want and I’m just here kind of trying to figure stuff out.”
She doesn’t think she’s being clear at all, and she wonders why, for someone who is supposed to have a talent for languages, that she is struggling so much to be understood and to make herself understood — to Una and to herself.
Una sits down beside her, and Nyota’s still looking for the words to make herself known.
“I don’t need to tell you that you and I fall in different specialties,” says Una, “but let’s take a step back from Starfleet for a moment, hm?”
Nyota has no idea where she is going from this, so she just remains silent.
“When an organization is trying to break barriers,” says Una, “we need two sets of people. We need a group of people to do things that we know we need done, and we need them to do it well — does that make sense?”
Nyota nods, because this much does make sense.
“But we also need a group of people to do things that we’ve never done before,” says Una. “Because when we have those people, that’s who really moves us forward. Over time, we can learn how to make those things excellent, but someone has to do them first, right?” Nyota still doesn’t have a response soon enough, so Una pauses briefly for input and keeps going. “That’s you. My job is to help you to do the things we’ve never done before.”
“But you’re so sure that you’ve where you need to be,” Nyota says. “How do you know that I’m—“ Worth the effort? No, that sounds weird and pathetic. Destined for something that Nyota can’t even visualize for herself?
“I mean, don’t be so flattered,” says Una. “It’s not all you. The Enterprise ensigns tend to end up being some kind of trailblazer. It’s also on us to help bring out the best in you.” Her tone is flat, but there is a little humor in her eye. “And I know I’m good at my job.”
Nyota can’t help herself. She relaxes, even laughs a little, the rest of her life feeling a little bit less heavy than usual.
“Chief.”
Una taps her comm badge. “Yes, La’an, good news I hope?”
“Transporters are back online. Should we bring you back?”
Una looks at Nyota, who feels a little odd that all of this resolved this easily. “Give us a few.”
“Understood.”
When they have privacy again, Una smiles, a small one, but that’s so different from the way that she normally looks that the difference is unmistakable. “You’re not the only person who is wondering how all of the effort is working, Ensign. We know you’re working hard. You can reach out for support if you need it. Sound good?”
Nyota nods and straightens. “I’ve figured out how to tell the beings thank you,” she says. “Would you like to be the one to activate the lights?”
“Thank you,” says Una, “but you’ve got this.”