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Chaos sat on the edge of the couch, her legs pulled up to her chest, staring blankly at the floor. The silence in the room was thick, and Bug, who had been cleaning up nearby, noticed her change in demeanor. It wasn’t like her to be so still, so quiet. He walked over and sat beside her, his usual playful tone replaced with something softer.
“Hey, you alright?” Bug asked, nudging her gently.
Chaos didn’t answer right away, her fingers tracing small, absent patterns on her pants. She seemed lost in her own thoughts, her eyes unfocused. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, she let out a long, shaky breath.
“No,” she said quietly. “I’m not alright.”
Bug looked at her, his face full of concern, but he didn’t say anything right away. He knew better than to push her, not when she was like this. He just waited, giving her space.
Chaos continued, her voice quiet and almost broken, “I feel like… like I’m always a burden. Like I’m always the one holding you back.”
Bug frowned, unsure of where this was coming from. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to offer some comfort without crowding her. “What do you mean? You’re not a burden, Chaos. Never.”
She shook her head, her words coming in a rush now. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just… every time I feel like I’m starting to be okay, something happens. And I get scared that I’ll mess things up for you. You’re always looking out for us, trying to make sure we’re okay, and I don’t know how to stop feeling like I’m too much. Like I’m dragging you down.”
Bug was quiet for a moment, absorbing her words. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t been prepared for this kind of confession. The last thing he ever wanted was for Chaos to feel like she wasn’t worth the effort.
“Chaos, you’re… you’re not a burden. You’re not. You’re my family. I—" He faltered, unsure of how to put it all into words. He tried again, his voice soft but firm. "I never regret any of this. Looking out for you? Taking care of you? I want to. You’re not dragging me down, not even a little bit. You never have been."
She looked up at him then, eyes full of something like doubt, but she didn’t speak. Bug felt his heart twist, unsure of how to bridge the gap between them. He wanted so desperately to make her see how much he meant it, how much she meant to him.
“I know… I know it’s not always easy,” he continued slowly, “and maybe I don’t always get it right. But I’ve never felt like you’re too much. And if I’m honest, I don’t want to do this without you. Not a single part of this… this family we’ve made. You’re not some weight I have to carry. You kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
She bit her lip, trying to hold back the wave of emotion threatening to spill over. Chaos wanted to believe him, wanted to let go of the fear that had been haunting her for so long. But she didn’t know how.
“I don’t want to be a burden to you,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
Bug shifted closer, putting his arm around her shoulders in a simple gesture of comfort. He didn’t have all the answers. He didn’t know how to make all of her fears go away, but he could be here for her, and that’s what he did best.
“You’re not a burden, Chaos,” he said gently, his words unwavering. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m not giving up on you, no matter how tough things get. I know you’ve been through a lot, and sometimes… sometimes it’s hard for you to believe it, but none of that means you’re too much. It just means you’ve been strong enough to keep going, even when it felt like you couldn’t. I’m proud of you. You hear me? Proud. I’ll never stop being proud of you.”
There was a long silence after that. Chaos didn’t respond immediately, but she did let herself relax into his side. It didn’t fix everything, but it was a start.
Bug didn’t ask her to say anything back. He didn’t need her to give him a reason or a response right away. He just stayed there with her, the silence stretching between them, but this time, it was more comfortable. And for the first time in a long while, Chaos felt like maybe—just maybe—she wasn’t so much of a burden after all.
After a while, Bug whispered softly, “You’re not alone, Chaos. Not anymore.”
As he said those words, Chaos broke. The weight of everything she had been holding in—everything she had been carrying for so long—finally broke free. Her body trembled as she pulled away from Bug. The tears came quickly, without warning, and she buried her face in her hands, unable to stop the sobs that wracked her chest.
Bug didn’t move at first, unsure of what to do. But then, without a second thought, he gently pulled her back toward him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She clung to him, her small frame shaking with the intensity of her crying, the sounds of her sobs muffled against his chest.
“Hey, it’s okay, Chaos,” Bug said softly, his voice thick with emotion as he rubbed her back gently. “You’re okay. You’re not a burden. You’re not too much. You’re mine , and I’m not going anywhere. I mean it.”
Chaos could barely form words through her crying. She was too overwhelmed, too lost in the rawness of her feelings to speak, but the emotion she was feeling was so heavy, so unbearable, that she could barely breathe between the sobs. The years of feeling like an afterthought, the burden she had convinced herself she was, crashed down on her all at once.
Bug didn’t try to rush her or make her stop. He knew this wasn’t something that could just be fixed with words. It wasn’t a problem to solve; it was something deeper, something she needed to let out. And so, he just held her, whispering soft reassurances, each one trying to pierce through the years of self-doubt that had taken root in her heart.
“You don’t have to carry this alone, Chaos,” he murmured, his voice steady despite the hurt in his chest. “You don’t have to fight through everything on your own. I’ve got you, okay? I’ve got you.”
Chaos shook her head, her voice barely a whisper, “I don’t know how to stop feeling like I’m too much… like I’m a mistake.”
“Listen to me,” Bug said, pulling back just enough to look into her tear-streaked face. “You’re not a mistake. You’ve never been one. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for all of it—the good, the bad, the ugly. You’re not just tolerated here, Chaos. You’re loved. You’re part of this family. All of you are. You belong.”
Her eyes locked onto his, and for a fleeting moment, Chaos saw the depth of sincerity in his gaze. She didn’t have the words to explain the relief that washed over her, but the feeling was unmistakable—a kind of peace she hadn’t allowed herself to feel in so long. The pressure in her chest didn’t magically disappear, but the crushing weight of the lie she had been living with for so long felt a little less suffocating.
“I’m here. You’re not alone,” Bug repeated, his voice firm yet tender.
Slowly, Chaos nodded, sniffling as she wiped at her eyes. Her breathing was still shaky, but the tears were starting to slow. She felt exhausted, drained, but lighter—somehow lighter than before. Bug continued to hold her, not letting go.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Chaos allowed herself to rest in the comfort of that truth. And it wasn’t a perfect fix, it wasn’t a magical solution. But it was enough.
She finally spoke, her voice small but clear. “Thank you… for not giving up on me. I don’t… I don’t know how to be anything other than a mess sometimes.”
“You don’t have to be anything other than what you are,” Bug said, his voice soft but unwavering. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never give up on you.”