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Gifts
The first time that Sakura gave Christmas gifts to Team Kakashi, she was twelve and they looked at her like she was an alien from outer space.
"Because it's Christmas," Sakura said, making a little flapping motion with her hands toward the pile of brightly wrapped packages on Ichiraku's counter. "They're all labeled. There's one for each of you."
Her boys all looked back towards the gifts, all of which are the same size and shape. (In a moment of ninja-ly cunningness that Sakura still felt proud of, she had put all of her teammates' gifts in identical boxes and filled them with crumpled up newspaper so that they would all feel like they were about the same weight. There would be no looking underneath the underneath and figuring out her gifts! No siree!) Sasuke's expression was distrustful and maybe a little hurt. Kakashi, who looked like he was trying to remember something that someone had once told him a long time ago, looked confused. Naruto was practically vibrating with excitement.
Watching her teammates as they study their gifts, Sakura contemplated hiding under the counter.
Geez, she thought grumpily. This is embarrassing. I wouldn't've done it if I knew that it was going to be such a big deal.
Except she totally would have, especially if she knew that they were going to act like this. Everyone should know what to do with a Christmas present.
Naruto clumsily pawed through her carefully wrapped packages, passed Kakashi and Sasuke their gifts, and then snatched up his own. He tore into the orange and blue wrapping paper with a gleeful sort of viciousness. When his gift tumbled onto the counter, Naruto stared at it with a stunned expression.
"It's... soft looking," Naruto ventured, fingering the fuzzy black material. "What is it, Sakura-chan?"
"It's a sleep cap," Sakura informed him. "To keep your head warm at night."
When she had purchased it, Sakura had thought that it was probably a more tactful gift than a bottle of bleach, a package of sponges, and a box of garbage bags. Naruto's apartment was a disgusting pit filled with cockroaches and who knew what else.
"I see it now," Naruto assured her. Beaming, Naruto picked up the cap and shook it out. "Oh, hey, it has a face like a bear!"
Naruto pulled the hat on, its plastic eyes gleaming dark brown in the overhead light and its blunted white front teeth framing either side of his face. He looked ridiculous. And adorable. Sakura wondered if looking ridiculously adorable was a thing.
"How do I look?"
"Stupider than usual," Sasuke said flatly. Naruto wilted.
A moment later, Naruto had perked himself back up again. When he started shouting and flailing his fists at Sasuke, the Uchiha smirked. Rolling her eyes at the boys' antics, Sakura turned her attention to their teacher.
"Open your present, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura ordered Kakashi, who was staring at Naruto's sleeping cap with open horror.
He probably thinks that I got him a matching hat. Tch. As if, Sakura thought as she watched Kakashi peel back the tape on his gift with painstaking care. I know how to shop for my audience!
"Oh," Kakashi said blankly when he sees his gift. "Thanks."
Drawing upon all of her mandatory drawing lessons in the academy, Sakura had made a Team Seven bookmark. Kakashi's head was at the bottom of the bookmark, a little unattached hand holding his dirty orange book in front of his face. Then there was Naruto's face scowling to the left, Sasuke's face scowling to the right, and finally Sakura's own face, smiling straight at the viewer. She had sketched and colored the pictures, using their team photograph and countless hours of studying Kakashi during team practice time (which usually devolved into screaming matches between Naruto and Sasuke and porn time for Kakashi) as her models. Then, when she had been mostly satisfied by her creation, she had talked the librarian at the academy into laminating it for her.
Sakura smiled and shrugged, uncertain if Kakashi actually liked her gift or if, at some point in her teacher's murky past, someone had drummed basic manners into her sensei's skull. (His tendency to read porn in public tended to undermine that theory, though.)
When she glanced at Sasuke, more as an excuse to look away from Kakashi than anything else, he was shouting at Naruto. In front of him were the crumpled remnants of his gift's wrapping paper, an empty box, and several pieces of crumpled up newspaper in front of him. His gift, however, was nowhere in sight. He had either pocketed it or thrown it away.
Sakura had the horrible, sinking feelings that Sasuke had probably done the latter. Crushed, she let her shoulder droop. Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, hard, and told herself that the tears blurring her vision were from that.
A moment later, a warm hand landed on the crown of her head. When Sakura tilted her head back, she saw that Kakashi was smiling his cheesiest smile down at her.
"No really," he said. "Thank you, Sakura. I love it."
Then he ruffled her hair and, for once, Sakura let him.
"You're welcome, Kakashi-sensei," she replied. And then she beamed at him because it felt nice to have her efforts be appreciated by someone. Oblivious, the boys continued shouting and flailing at each other. When one jumped the other and the boys hit the ground in a screaming, flailing tangle of limbs, Sakura was not at all surprised.
She was surprised when Kakashi offered to teach her a genjutsu release, instead of immediately wading into the fray to break it up like he usually did.
"Yes!" Sakura immediately said. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei!"
"It's no problem," Kakashi said as he carefully tucked his bookmark into Icha Icha Paradise.
It probably said something about Team Seven that Sasuke's screams and Naruto's curses were like a soothing background melody to Sakura.
Hot Cocoa
The next time that Christmas rolled around, Sakura was thirteen and the only member of Team Seven in the village. Naruto was still on the road with Jiraiya-sama, Sasuke was a missing nin, and Kakashi was on a mission. Their absences made it difficult for Sakura to give them proper gifts. Their reactions the previous year, however, made it impossible for her not to give them proper gifts, even in their absences.
So, instead of giving them things, Sakura did things for them.
For Sasuke, she cleaned up the Uchiha family shrine, lit incense, and said a prayer for the departed to find peace. For Naruto, she broke into his apartment and cleaned everything to within an inch of its continued existence, threw out his dated girly calendar, and cleaned out his refrigerator. (Good thing too, because the leftovers in his refrigerator had not only become sentient but, in the absence of outside human interference, had set up a society and formed a government. Sakura had ruthlessly destroyed it all.) As for Kakashi, she got him out of trouble with the Hokage regarding some late paperwork through twenty hours of overtime, two lies to Shizune on Tsunade's behalf, and four bottles of cheap rice wine.
When Sakura found the tin of instant hot cocoa underneath her parents' Christmas tree, mixed in with all of the other gifts from her friends, family, and acquaintances, she was mildly interested. When she saw that it was addressed to her and from a one-eyed smiley face, Sakura was shocked.
She had not expected Kakashi to notice or care about her gift to him.
But he had.
And he had reciprocated.
Sakura's grin was wide enough to hurt her cheeks.
Christmas Gifts
The next Christmas, Sakura was fourteen, a newly minted chunin, and still the only member of Team Kakashi in the village. And, as with the previous year, she still could not bring herself to overlook Team Seven in her gift-giving.
For Sasuke, she again cleaned up the Uchiha family shrine, lit incense, and said a prayer for the departed to find peace. For Naruto, she cleaned his apartment again, not finding it nearly so awful as the previous year. And for Kakashi, she ate fifteen boxes of cereal, saved the box-tops, and sent them in with ten ryo for a set of miniature, limited edition PVC figurines of characters in Icha Icha Paradise. They were all white and came with a set of special paints and instructions for properly painting them. Sakura put them in a box, wrapped it, and left Kakashi's gift in his mailbox.
On Chistmas morning, she found a tanto, its sheath lacquered pale green with tiny bright pink sakura blossoms picked out on it, underneath her parents' Christmas tree. The blade was razor sharp. The gift tag said that it is from that same, one-eyed smiley face.
Sakura beamed at her wonderful gift and stroked it with loving fingers.
After that morning, she never went anywhere without it.
Under the mistletoe
By the time that Sakura was fifteen, taking care of the Uchiha family shrine and cleaning out Naruto's apartment in the weeks before the Christmas holiday were something of Christmas traditions. Finding new gifts for Kakashi, however, was a yearly challenge, especially since Sakura still did not know him any better than she had as a genin. Sakura does not let that stop her, however.
She spends three weeks nagging at Inuzuka Hana for a tin of special Inuzuka dog biscuits and another three weeks working off her end of the bargain. Then she makes a tin of chocolate biscuits for Kakashi. She puts the two tins in a box, wraps it, and then spends nearly an hour trying to break into Kakashi's apartment. Eventually, she gives up and leaves them with Gai-sensei to give to Kakashi when he gets back from his current mission.
This year, there is nothing waiting for Sakura under her parents' Christmas tree from the one-eyed smiley face. Sakura is mildly disappointed by that but not crushed. (Because she would never let a virtual stranger crush her feelings. Again.)
A few weeks later, during the Haruno family New Year's party, Sakura quietly slips away from the noise, the press of bodies, and the shrieking children. She goes up to the roof of her parents' house, sits down on the chilly tiles, and just breathes.
Eventually, another ninja joins her. He was not invited to the party. And he does not disturb Sakura's quiet time. He does, however, loan Sakura his jacket.
From the texture of its fabric against her fingertips, Sakura recognizes it as part of the jonin's uniform. The thin lining inside of the jacket, added by the wearer for Konohagakure's winter months, is warm from its previous wearer's body heat. The entire jacket smells faintly of wet dog and burning leaves and far more strongly of its owner.
Sakura breathes deeply, snuggles into the jacket's warmth, and lets some of her unspoken hurt unravel.
When Sakura heads back inside, she is still wearing the jonin's jacket.
The jacket's owner follows her.
Sakura takes him around, introducing him to her relatives and escorting him through the buffet. She is fairly certain that he only stays because the food is free and she still has his jacket.
"Sakura," Kakashi finally says, after he has cleaned his plate. He stops Sakura with a touch on her elbow, right under the mistletoe. Her face warm, Sakura studies Kakashi's expression and realizes that he has no idea what he has done. "I'm sorry that I missed Christmas. I was in Snow Country. My mission ran into some, er, complications. But I wanted to give you this."
He slipped his hand into his jacket's left-hand pocket, his fingertips brushing over Sakura's hip, and pulled out a long, flat box. Like all of Kakashi's gifts to her, it is wrapped in thick brown paper.
When Sakura tears into it, she finds a leather medic's pouch. The pouch is long and supple and has some very interesting lumps inside of it.
"I heard that you'll be taking your licensing exam soon," Kakashi said while Sakura investigated the lumps in her medic's pouch. Inside were what appear to be a couple of long, thin scrolls. "I thought, maybe, you'd need these. Afterwards, I mean."
When she looked, the scrolls seemed to be filled with diagrams of handseals. Kakashi had given her jutsu.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura yelped. Her pouch and scrolls clutched in one hand, Sakura flung her arms around Kakashi. She planted a solid kiss on one of Kakashi's high cheeks. His skin is warm and soft under her lips.
"S-Sakura!" Kakashi yelped. He staggered backwards, breaking her hold on him. "What're you doing?"
"We're standing under the mistletoe," Sakura replied, grinning as she points up at the vegetation in question.
While Kakashi peered up at the sprig of dark green leaves and bright red berries, Sakura slipped his coat off. When he looked at her again, Sakura offered Kakashi his jacket and asked, "Did you get your gift?"
"Yes," Kakashi replied. His face pink with the strength of his blush, he shrugged his coat on. "Thanks. I'll just, er, go. Now. Thanks, Sakura! Bye!"
He disappeared in a swirl of autumn leaves. Grinning, Sakura put her medic's pouch on and went to socialize with her Great-aunt Kaede.
"You'll be home for Christmas."
Naruto came back when Sakura was sixteen, which made giving her annual gift to him impossible. Aside from anything else, Naruto refused to believe that he was a slob. Added to her gift-giving problems, were her two new teammates, who were both nuts. At least Sasuke and Kakashi were easy to give for that year.
In the end, Sakura settled on a gift certificate for ramen from Ichiraku for Naruto, a massage certificate for Yamato, and a ridiculously expensive paintbrush for Sai that Sai's favorite art shop assured her was top of the line. Naruto cheered over his gift, Yamato thanked her effusively, and Sai favored Sakura with his own version of the 'you are clearly an alien from outer space' look.
As always, she cleaned the Uchiha clan's marker, lit incense for them, and prayed that they found peace (or at least stopped screwing up Sasuke's life).
And then, one morning while Naruto was sound asleep in the room's second bed, Sakura stole Kakashi from his hospital room. Kakashi let her, clumsily draping a loose arm around the back of her shoulders and tucking his ankles one over the other to make himself easier to carry.
"Sakura?" Kakashi asked groggily, when they were safely outside of the hospital's walls. His natural eye was dilated and half-lidded in the dawn's early light. His sharingan eye was bandaged shut.
"I thought you might like to go home for Christmas," Sakura said lightly. "Don't worry, I'll stay and take care of you."
Kakashi smiled sweetly, his eye fluttering shut. He leaned his head against the curve of Sakura's shoulder and the side of her neck.
"Thanks," he slurred. He was still pumped full of pain killers. "Didn't have time to finish your gift this year."
"It's fine," Sakura soothed. "Rest up, Kakashi-sensei."
"Teach you something nice," he promised sleepily. "Later."
Sakura tried not to hold it against him when he and Yamato ended up teaching Naruto instead of her. Promises made while half-conscious and chock full of painkillers never counted.
It still smarted something fierce, though.
Loss of Possessions
Sakura was seventeen when Konohagakure was leveled. She lost everything, except for what she was wearing or any of her important people. So she was luckier than most.
Still, when Christmas rolled around, everything was wrecked. But, remembering the way that her teammates responded to gifts and kindness, Sakura made an effort to get things together for all of her important people. Her teammates, as always, were the hardest to find gifts for.
For Naruto, she exchanged a series of favors that culminated in a nearly new copy of The Gutsy Ninja. For Sasuke's sake, she tended the Uchiha family shrine. Since there were no sticks of incense to be had, Sakura left winter flowers from the depths of the Nara forest on the shrine's alter. For Sai, Sakura exchanged a series of favors to get her hands on a few scrolls of blank paper and a few square, white canvases. And for Yamato, Sakura cooked a good dinner made from fresh ingredients, as opposed to their normal fare of dried rations.
This year, Sai gave Sakura a sketch of a dancing lion and Yamato gave her a pair of carved wooden chopsticks for her hair.
Finally, for Kakashi, who was newly back from the dead himself and who had always put more stock by the dead than by the living, Sakura earned a trip to the Hokage's archives off of Tsunade. In the Hokage's archives were stored sketches and photographs of every ninja who had ever served in Konohagakure's ranks. Sakura made copies of Team Seven, Team Ten, the old Team Eleven (which was Kakashi's genin team under Yondaime Hokage), and (on a whim) of Konohagakure's White Fang.
On Christmas Day, after her family's celebrations were completed, Sakura went to find Kakashi. He was where he had spent his every spare moment since the invasion, combing the debris around the remnants of his apartment house for his lost mementos.
"Hey, sensei," Sakura said as she joined him, glass and gravel crunching under her boots.
Kakashi tossed a twisted steel bar aside and then looked up at Sakura. He had a streak of soot down his only bare temple and a cheerful grin.
"Hello, Sakura."
"Still looking for your stuff?" Sakura asked in lieu of a greeting.
"Just cleaning up," Kakashi replied. Sakura did not believe him for a moment.
"It's Christmas Day," Sakura told Kakashi. "I've got a gift for you."
Kakashi's smile widened. "I've got one for you, too."
Sakura gave him her envelope of copied photographs. He gave her a stuffed rabbit.
"Carrots!" Sakura exclaimed, recognizing her favorite stuffed animal. She had slept with it every night until she was thirteen, when Sasuke had nearly killed Naruto. Then, deciding that it was time to grow up, Sakura had put Carrots aside.
Sakura had thought that Carrots had burned up with most of her other possessions. And, judging by the bare patches in his blue fur, Carrots had spent a brief period of time smoldering. Carrots had lost one of his glass eyes and now he had thick seams crisscrossing his soft, little body where Kakashi had painstakingly sewn Carrots' rips and tears shut. He had probably put new stuffing into Carrots, too. But Carrots still had a dried swipe of glittery green nail polish on his front left paw as a memento of a long ago sleepover with Ino and a small burn mark on his right ear from a misdirected fire jutsu. (When it had happened, Sakura had been furious. Naruto had loved seeing her try to maim Sasuke for that. It had been one of the few times that Sakura had gotten angry with Sasuke prior to his defection to Sound.)
"Kakashi-sensei, he's perfect," Sakura choked, her eyes tearing up. She fingered the thick red ribbon that Kakashi had tied around Carrots' neck. "I thought that he was gone forever. How'd you even find him?"
"With a little bit of perseverance," Kakashi replied cheerfully.
Throwing her arms around Kakashi in a fierce hug, Sakura gasped, "Thank you!"
Her stuffed animal was a soft lump between their bodies. And Kakashi was very warm. She planted a couple of quick kisses on his cheek and one that somehow landed half on his ear and half in his hair.
"Sakura!" Kakashi gasped, his entire body tensing like a startled dog's. He awkwardly patted her on the back. "I-I'm glad that you like it."
"I love it!" Sakura corrected.
"Good. But I think I'm going to pass out. Your grip is very tight."
Sakura immediately modified her grip.
"Sorry," she said.
"It's fine," Kakashi replied. "Maybe, maybe you'd like to watch me open my gift now?"
"Okay," Sakura said, releasing Kakashi and stepping back.
She watched avidly as Kakashi carefully pulled the flap out of the top of the envelope then retrieved the photographs. She knew the exact moment that Kakashi understood what she had given him. He paled and his fingers twitched against the thick, glossy photograph paper. He looked at each of the three photographs in turn, lingering an inordinate about of time on the third one of his father.
"Sakura," Kakashi rasped. And then he was hugging her far too tightly. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said quietly, rubbing her free hand along the strong lines of Kakashi's trembling back.
Snowy Kisses
Sakura was eighteen when the Fourth Shinobi War is declared. It was still going on at Christmas time. Gifts that year were harder to come by than in any other year.
Sakura was too far from Konohagakure to tend the Uchiha marker (and unsure if she really wanted to, anyway), nearly everyone that she cared for was too far away to exchange gifts with, and the post was intermittent and unreliable at best.
Yamato was missing in action.
But Sai and Kakashi were close enough to put together small, emergency medical kits for. When Sakura gave Sai his kit, it was snowing. Fat snowflakes floated down to nestle in his sleek black like stars against the night sky before they melted. Sai smiled at her, kissed her forehead, and pressed a bar of chocolate into her hand. Chocolate rations, which were hard to come by and harder to keep, were precious.
"Thank you, Sai," Sakura said, her hand closing around the slightly smushed bar. She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I haven't seen chocolate in ages."
"I haven't seen you in ages," he countered. "So try not to die before I see you again."
It was still snowing when Kakashi straggled into the medical camp, the flakes of snow invisible against his pale hair. He had a leg injury that needed tending. When she was finished with his leg, Sakura gave Kakashi his medical kit.
The skin around his lone eye went gray.
His hands trembling, Kakashi said hoarsely, "But I didn't remember to get you anything."
"It's fine, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said, using her old title for him instead of his new rank. She smiled. "Seriously, I didn't expect anything."
"I want to give you something," Kakashi insisted. "I have jutsu. Would you like to learn a jutsu?"
"I'd rather have a kiss," Sakura replied, startling Kakashi. He pulled away from her like a startled horse.
"A kiss?" he asked.
"I've never had one," Sakura admitted. "Not a proper, romantic one."
There was a long, quiet moment then Kakashi said hoarsely, "Close your eyes, Sakura."
He gently pulled her forehead protector down, over her eyes, and tied it in place. Blindfolded, Sakura listened as Kakashi rustled fabric and took several deep breaths.
"Okay," he said to himself. "Okay."
A moment later, Sakura felt the press of warm, dry lips to her own. The alignment was far from perfect and her lips were painfully chapped, but it was nice. Really nice.
One kiss soon became several kisses.
"Merry Christmas, Sakura," he murmured between kisses.
"Merry Christmas, Kakashi."
Hot Cocoa and Blankets
When the war ended, Sakura was nineteen. Christmas that year was as much a celebration of the war's end as it was a celebration of the holiday. Sakura danced, drank, and exchanged small gifts with all of her important people, save Kakashi.
It was Christmas Even when Kakashi came by the shiny new apartment that Sakura and Ino were sharing. Ino was out with Shikamaru and Kakashi was carrying a large quilt pieced together from bits of dark fabric and the occasional splash of brightly colored fabric. The quilt was backed and stuffed between its cloth layers was a layer of what felt like down feathers.
"I started it before the war," Kakashi said by way of explanation. "I'd meant to finish it and give it to you awhile ago but things came up and then the project grew and, well, here it is. Finally."
"It's wonderful," Sakura assured him. "Well worth the wait. Here, I just have this for you."
She gave him a tin of hot cocoa.
"Didn't I give you one of these a few years back?" Kakashi asked.
"Yes," Sakura said with a smile. "I assumed that meant that you liked chocolate."
"Very much," Kakashi assured her. "Do you?"
"Of course!"
Somehow, a couple of mugs of hot cocoa turned into huddling together under Sakura's new blanket and watching Christmas specials on television together.
After Sakura stole her first kiss from Kakashi, she pointed at the ceiling and said, "Mistletoe."
When Kakashi glanced up at the nonexistent mistletoe, Sakura stole her second, third, and fourth kisses. Kakashi did not seem to mind.
"I'll be home for Christmas."
Kakashi took an assassination mission ten days before their first Christmas together.
"I'll be home for Christmas," Kakashi promises her as he packs his kunai pouches.
"Don't kill yourself trying," Sakura, who was now twenty and living with Kakashi, told him. "We'll celebrate Christmas whenever you get back."
"I'll be back in time for Christmas," Kakashi insisted, giving her a quick, hard kiss.
Kakashi is not back by Christmas Eve. That night, Sakura goes to bed on the couch, curled up beneath Kakashi's sinfully warm quilt. Sometime in the early morning, a chilly body slips beneath the quilt with Sakura.
"Cold," Sakura grumbles, shoving at one of his shoulders. She yelps and startles when he shoves his hands beneath her shirt. Over Kakashi's laughter, she insisted, "Too cold! Get out!"
"Is that any way to greet your conquering hero?"
"He's cold," Sakura grumpily informed him, even as she twined her legs with him.
"I'm sure you'll think of a way to warm him up," Kakashi murmured, snuggling closer.
"Maybe," Sakura sighed sleepily. "Welcome home, Kakashi."
"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus."
"I hate this mission," Kakashi announced while scratching at his jaw furiously. "Naruto is never, ever allowed to choose our missions ever again."
"Ignore him," Sakura advised Sai as she claimed the stool across from him. She turned so that her bare shoulder was to him. "Kakashi's been in a foul mood ever since the Hokage order him to stop shaving."
"Which was entirely Naruto's fault," Kakashi insisted as he scratched at yet another section of his fluffy, white beard. "I hate that guy."
Sai, who was in the middle of arranging his inks and senbon, paused to shoot Sakura an uncertain look.
"He doesn't really," Sakura assured Sai with a quick smile. "Being hairy irritates Kakashi."
"Sakura, I swear I have fleas," Kakashi insisted as he raked his fingers through his beard. "Let me shave this off."
"Not a chance," Sakura said flatly and then hissed as Sai pricked her shoulder.
"If you're going to be as gutless about this as Dickless was, this is going to take a very long time," Sai informed Sakura as he stabbed his inked senbon into her a third, fourth, and fifth time in rapid succession. Each prick left pinpricks of ink and chakra beneath her dermis.
"It was just unexpected," Sakura countered.
"Fine," Sai sighed as he continued to ink Sakura's shoulder with merciless stabs of his needle. "Sakura, I'm going to stab you with a small, sharp implement many, many times over the next few hours. It will hurt until it no longer hurts. You will sit still and behave or your flame tattoo will turn out as ugly as Naruto's is."
"Thank you, Sai," Sakura gritted. "I'll try to hold still."
Sai had done Naruto's ANBU tattoo, too. It had taken four separate attempts to get even a rough approximation of the stylized flame onto Naruto's shoulder. The three separate attempts that Sakura had removed from Naruto's skin had respectively looked like nothing so much as an ink blot, a black cloud, and a clown. Tattooing Naruto had apparently been so traumatic that Sai had initially refused to do Sakura's tattoo.
Sakura sat still and tried not to think about how very much getting her tattoo hurt. Kakashi, who was waiting to get his own tattoo touched up, squirmed and itched at his beard and complained about how very much he hated Naruto.
Sakura would never tell Kakashi but Naruto was actually very sorry that he had accepted this particular mission on the behalf of Team Kakashi. Not only was Kakashi's face entirely obscured by his very thick, full beard but Kakashi was making sure to take his discomfort out on Naruto at every opportunity.
"Look on the bright side," Sakura finally said. Sometime during her tattooing, between one prick of the needle and the next, the nagging pain of the procedure had been replaced by a strange, un-tethered sensation. Sakura found it uncomfortable. "If we get back from kidnapping the heirs by Christmas Day, I'll shave your face myself."
"Deal!" said Kakashi, visibly brightening.
"No talking," Sai grunted. "That's how it always started with Naruto."
Sakura obligingly shut up.
The mission went well, right up until one of the targets caught Santa cheating on Mrs. Claus with his favorite, candy-haired elf.
"This isn't what it looks like!" Kakashi insisted, his voice raised to be heard over the child's shouts. Mere moments ago, he had been whispering lewd promises in Sakura's ear. "Mrs. Claus is fine with this! We have an open marriage! She's seeing an elf in wrapping!"
"Liar!" the child shouted as the estate's guards came running. "You're not the real Santa Claus!"
"She's got you there," Sakura agreed as she picked up the child and tucked her under one arm. She magnanimously ignored the kid's tendency to flail and try to bite. Eying the Cloud nin surrounding them, Sakura added, "We're not going to make it home in time for Christmas."
"We'll just see about that," Kakashi said grimly. He gave his beard one last scratch, either because he really had gotten fleas off of his pack or purely for motivational purposes, and then threw himself at the Cloud nin.
They never stood a chance.