Archive of Our Own

Condi botches the roll to sever the tie that Rachel puts to Rand’s brain. He falls overboard, gasping for air, but only sucks in blood. Kian rushes over to the edge to try and pull Rolan up, but only manages to fall overboard himself. Rolan vaguely makes out the sound of Rachel’s voice saying something above the water. And then everything goes white.

“Fuck, dude! We were so close to the good ending,” Grizzly starts, leaning back and groaning. Condi almost opens his mouth to agree with him before Charlie speaks.

“Hold on,” he says, and they can hear the barely maintained composure in his voice, “I never said we were done.”

Condi laughs nervously, “Well that can’t mean anything good,” he says, putting a hand up to his face to try and calm himself.

Charlie rolls something, something none of them can see, and then a horribly wide smile overtakes his face that he quickly suppresses, “Okay,” he says with a sort of finality, “let’s start with…” his eyes flit to Condi, and he seems to have a barely contained excitement in him. “Rolan. And I’m going to need the others to leave the vc for this.” The distinct pings of Grizzly and Bizly leaving the vc fills Condi’s ears.

“You wake up… and you feel like you’re laying in a patch of grass. Your body doesn’t feel… right. And you hear…” Charlie pauses, “You hear that clicking that you’ve heard all around you nonstop for the past two days in your ears. Except it’s louder. Almost like it’s amplified, almost like it’s coming from all around you…” he smirks, “What do you do?”

Condi’s eyes widen, “What?” He says- an exclamation of utter surprise. Charlie just keeps staring, “I, uh-… I fuckin-… Rolan opens his eyes and tries to figure out where the fuck he is?” 

Charlie chuckles, but it’s one of those chuckles that comes when your mouth is closed and you’re smiling like a maniac. “Okay. You… open your eyes. And you realise that- all around you- is that red, meaty webbing. And you smell that sweet-putrid smell of it all around you. Below you is a sort of… nest. It’s made of grass, all kinds of grass, but some of it is stained red.”

Condi pauses to think about the implications of this. They aren’t good. “Okay, I look down at myself, am I- am I, like, more bug than before?”

An intake of breath, like this was what he was waiting for. “Rolan. You look down at yourself- at where there should be a tattered, muddy suit, numerous injuries, and an arm, once human, turned into a scythe- but instead you see… a pristine beige suit. You still have that scythe arm, and everything else looks right, but your legs don’t feel right. Almost like you have too many joints. If you want to try and walk, you’re going to have to roll to keep your balance as you walk on unfamiliar legs.”

A hiss through Condi’s teeth. “The fuck,” he starts, before getting interrupted by Charlie,

“Unless-… unless you want to try to focus on your legs and do to them what you did to your arm. With or without the scythe bits, whatever you want,” he says, a small giggle coming out of him.

“I feel like I should be rolling sanity for this,” he says- not necessarily complaining, just a bit confused. It comes out of his mouth as a groan.

Charlie smiles. “You don’t need to roll sanity, Rolan.”

“That’s worrying, uh-… okay, fuckin…” he blinks, trying to figure what the fuck that cryptic ass shit means. “Would Rolan know that he’d have trouble standing, or-“

“You would know.”

Condi nods, “Uh… is there anything around me that I can use to like, help me stand up?”

Charlie hums, “I mean, you could try-… you would have to roll luck,” he says finally.

“Fucking- Charlie I used all that shit!” He groans, only to be met with Charlie’s sinister laughter. 

“Yeah? So what do you do, Rolan?” He asks, leaning forward and staring at Condi intently. Waiting for his answer.

Condi looks at his options. He’d have to make a power roll if he wants to change his legs. It would be really fucking stupid, but Kian and Rand aren’t around him right now so they’d be safe. That’s mostly what Rolan’s worried about. And also he really doesn’t want to have to roll for each fucking step he takes. “Rolan will… try to change his legs back to normal,” he breathes.

Charlie lets out a light hum. “Alright. What do you think as you try this?”

He laughs, “Well Rolan has… definitely learned his lesson from last time. I, uh… I think about wanting my legs to be back to human legs?”

“Okay. You think about your legs being human legs and… they seem to sort of compress. You feel five knees turn into four as your flesh… pushes into itself, almost like it’s melting. And then those four knees turn into three, and you can hear that squelch it’s making. Three knees turn into two. And then, with one last pop, your legs are back to normal. What are you doing next?” Charlie asks, staring at him like he’s waiting for him to ask a question.

A bout of confusion overtakes Condi. “Don’t I have to roll power?” He asks, readying the dnd beyond page. 

Charlie just smiles. “No. You don’t. You just do it.”

“I don’t feel, like, this calling to the hive or whatever? Like, I don’t have the urge to start fucking…clicking?”

And then Charlie chuckles as he knows all the little pieces are about to fall into place in Rolan’s head. “No, you do. You do feel that calling to the hive. But you don’t have to try and resist it- because there’s nothing to resist. Rolan, you feel the most at home you ever have. And you remember Kian’s words: ‘Don’t pretend to be something you’re not, dude.’” Charlie fidgets with his hands, “That clicking you’ve been hearing- the one that feels so close- it’s coming from you. It’s coming from your throat. It feels as natural as breathing.”

It suddenly makes sense to Condi. “I’m-… shit. I’m in the hive, aren’t I?” 

“You aren’t just in the hive, Rolan. You’re part of it. You still are yourself, you still-… you can still think freely. But you feel at home. You can still do whatever you want, try to leave or break out or kill the queen or whatever- but you feel at home, and you are yourself.”

Condi sighs, “Okay I stand up and.. is there an exit?”

“Yeah, uh, there’s a… a door made of flesh,” he says, sounding incredulous at what he’d just said. Sure. Door made of flesh, how else is Rolan meant to get out?

He stares. “…Door made of flesh. Sure. Okay, I’m going to-… can I try to use my… like, bug powers to try and find Kian and Rand?” 

Charlie laughs, “Ohoho-.. you can certainly try. Who are you trying to look for specifically?”

Condi bites his lip, trying to think. Rand or Kian? What would Rolan do-… he guesses it just comes down to who’s more likely to be dead. The one with grenades in his hands or-… he pauses. “Wait. Would… you said everything went white, right? For all of us?”

A smile. “Yes. What are you asking?” He tilts his head.

Condi furrows his brows. So does Rolan. Thinking. “Would- would I know that-… was that the grenades exploding?” He asks quietly.

Charlie hums. “You would know…. That, thinking back on it, it wasn’t just a flash of white. You focus on that memory of… the sudden white that overtook your vision, and you can remember feeling…. Ripped apart. Like your body was disintegrating. So-… so yes, you could gather that that was the grenades exploding.”

Condi sucks in a breath and Rolan speaks, clicks emerging from his throat as some sort of panicked reactionary attempt to comfort himself, “Shit- shit. We fucking- they died, we all fucking died!” He hisses, and then Condi speaks, “And I-… i go over and slam my fist against the wall,” he takes a breath, “Kian- Rand, we were supposed to fucking save everyone! Fuck- fuck. I need- I need to find them.” Condi pauses, “I want-… I think Rolan would try to look for both of them at once.

Charlie takes in a breath that sounds a little worried, a little judgy, “Oka-ay. Let’s see how you do,” he looks down at something, “I want you to roll me… navigate with ad-… well, hold on…” he bites his lip to try and figure something out. “I’m going to roll this for you, actually,” he says, before Condi can hear the distinct sound of dice hitting the table and rolling before coming to a stop.

Condi does not like the fact that Charlie rolls for him. 

“Alright! You succeed! Uh, you feel two pings in your mind. You can’t-… you can’t see them like you saw the queen, but you can… you can feel them. They aren’t far, but you are going to have to choose which to go to first.”

“Do I know who is who?”

“No. You just know that one ping is to your left, and one is to your right. Which way are you going first?” He asks mischievously. 

“Rolan kind of… looks at both directions,” Condi pauses, Rolan speaks, “eeny… meeny… miney…. Fuck. Okay, left it is,” Rolan says, giving an answer both to himself and The Keeper.

Charlie breathes in, “Okay. Rolan, you step out into the hall- it’s covered in that same flesh mixed with little patches of what looks like honeycomb but made of flesh. There doesn’t seem to be many other rooms around you besides down those halls, and if you look back you’d notice that your door is decorated very ornately. You head left. And with that, it is…” Charlie goes over to his discord app and moves Grizz from the ‘not playing’ vc into he and Condi’s. “Kian’s turn,” Charlie smiles.

Grizzly cuts himself off from what he was saying, “Oh shit. Okay, uh, let me pull up-“

“Kian,” Charlie starts, disregarding Grizzly’s protests, “You wake up and you feel… actually pretty comfortable. You feel a softness beneath you, but you are lying on your stomach. Something is… wrong, though. Your body feels… familiar, but not familiar enough. Familiar like your body is not your own, anymore, like your body is something you were never meant to experience. You feel a… weight on your back, and your neck feels pleasantly warm. Almost like it’s been wrapped in a scarf. Everything around you, though, is loud. And you hear- loud and almost omnipresent, that clicking. What do you do?”

He sputters, “Dude I hadn’t even pulled up my character sheet yet! Fuck, okay, hold on, uh-“

“Why does he get a ‘softness beneath him’ while i get fucking grass,” Condi mumbles, barely audible. Grizzly doesn’t clock it since he’s still trying to set everything up on his desktop, but Charlie does, and just lets out a low, sinister chuckle. 

“Okay. Uh- can I, like, open my eyes and look around?” Grizzly asks, hands drumming on his desk.

Charlie smiles, “Yes you can. You open your eyes, and look around you, and you realise that you are in some sort of makeshift nest. Below you there is a mess of blankets, and old clothes, and cotton and pillows. As you sit up, you feel that weight on your back shift with you, and you can tell it’s coming from your shoulder blades. Everything seems… brighter than you’d usually see it. The walls are covered in that sort of meat webbing and you can hear it shifting and oozing, the very slight way it breathes.”

Kian takes in the sight around him and breathes, “This is not bitchin’, dude,” Grizzly speaks, “Can I try to look at what- like, what’s behind me?”

A nod, “Kian, when you look behind you, you don’t so much crane your head as you do turn it a full three hundred and sixty degrees like an owl. You see… a pair of wings. They are-… hold on, fuck. Let me look something up,” Charlie pauses, lapsing into silence for a minute. And then another. And then another. Five minutes pass. 

“Charlie what are you-“

“Sh. Dm research. Didn’t- I didn’t fucking plan for this- I thought if I had to do research I’d have more time,” he mumbles, pressing at his temples.

Condi shoots Charlie a look, “dude, you know we don’t have to keep g-“

Charlie rolls his eyes, “No, it’s not like that, it’s just- just give me a minute to get all the facts straight,” he sighs, closing his current tab titled ‘moth sleep?.’ He closes another one titled ‘moth antennae?,’ before typing ‘types of moths’ into Google. 

Another five minutes pass. “Okay, Kian, you see a pair of wings coming from your back that look like the pattern of-…” he drags the image over into the discord server from his Google images tab, “The wings of the garden tiger moth, which I just sent in the discord.”

Grizzly looks at the image before taking in a gasp as Kian is unable to control himself, “Bitchin’, this is totally fucking sick, dude!” Grizzly smiles along with him, “And Kian would pump his fists up in the air and be, like, excited about all of this, because they definitely find the bug shit cool.”

Charlie smiles, “The deadly bugs that have killed him, like, three times already,” he suppresses a laugh.

“It’s what he would think! I’m not fuckin- I’m not playing with you man, he would think it’s cool-“

“I never said you were! I just repeated what you said,” he says, not being able to keep that little smirk off his face, “Okay, uh- you say this, Kian, and your voice feels… louder than it usually would. Like your ears are more sensitive, now. You also hear that clicking increase in volume.”

Grizz stares, “More sensitive? Uh, okay, can I-… shit, uh-… Kian would… Can I try to listen to see if I hear Rolan or Rand anywhere?” 

Charlie smiles, “Yeah, yeah, you can. I’ll have to roll it for you, but you totally can,” 

Condi takes this in, bringing his mind back to when Charlie rolled for him earlier. He has a suspicion that their stats have changed.

Grizzly glares, but concedes, “Uh, alright… I’ll go ahead and listen for them?”

A small chuckle, “alright, let me just roll,” he hums as he rolls a dice. “Alright! You succeed, and you hear-…” he looks thoughtful for a moment, “Kian, you hear that clicking all round you, but louder. More intense. And then… you start to understand it. You pick up a word or two, but there’s so much that you can’t focus on all of it, but you do hear… hive. Build. Nest. Friend. Find. Safe. And then you pick up something more… specific. A voice, that- despite its clicking, you recognize. And… Condi, what would Rolan be saying? Deep in the recesses of his mind, not even thinking about it. Instinctual,” Charlie emphasizes.

“Like, clicking?”

“Mhm.”

“Alright, well-…,” he clears his throat and allows Rolan to speak- purely from his mind, on instinct, “Friend. Find. Distress. Kian. Rand,” Condi hums, thinking, “and it’d probably just be that on repeat?” 

Charlie nods, “So, Kian, you hear that. And you can either head towards it or just.. stay there. In your nest. It’s actually pretty comfy,”

Grizzly is suspicious immediately, “Nah fuck that shit- dude you said that, I’m getting out. I am not dying for a fourth fucking time, dawg, I’m heading towards Rolan.”

“Alright! You open-…” Charlie groans, hating his earlier improvisation skills, “You open the flesh door and step out into the hallway,” he ignores the way Grizzly looks baffled (and the way Kian cringes as he twists the doorknob,) “Rolan, you see Kian step out of a doorway as you’re coming to find him. How would Rolan be… be coming towards Kian?”

Condi cracks his knuckles absently, “Rolan would be, uh. He would be probably- probably a little out of it- worried- there’d be, like, clicks coming from his throat and he’d just be heading towards that feeling he had of where one of his friends was. And when he sees Kian, he just-… speeds. Up. He kinda just starts, like, sprinting towards him,” Condi clears his throat for Rolan, “K-Kian! Fuck, Kian!”

Grizzly snorts, “Kian would- Kian would kind of be wide eyed at first, but then he sees it’s-…” a pause. A smirk comes on Grizz’ face. He has a plan, “they’d see it’s Rolan, and he’d start sprinting too,” Kian laughs wildly, “ROLAN! Dude!” 

Charlie has a soft smile on his face, “And you two… you two kind of crash into each other in a hug, and it’s… it feels like the most important thing in the world. Something about it feels better than before. Like you’re closer. And that relief you feel seeing each other almost feels… amplified. Like you’re experiencing each other’s relief.”

“First- first of all, I would like to let Kian tackle Rolan to the ground,” Condi begins.

“O-Kay, you are now on the wet, fleshy ground-“

“And then Rolan would just start crying. Just- small tears coming out of his face, like-… like he was terrified of the thought of losing them,” Rolan sniffles, “K-…Kian, fuck, you’re alive, I-…I’m alive, shit, we didn’t- we-“ 

Grizzly smirks, “Kian would kind of- would take Rolan’s head in his hands and wipe the tears from his eyes, just staring at him with this-… with this soft look,” he pauses, and Kian speaks, “s-shut the fuck up dude, I don’t care. We-… we’re here. We’re alive. It doesn’t matter. Look-“ Kian wipes a tear from his eye, “And he would kind of- sit back a bit to try and show Rolan how he looks,” Kian once again speaks, “Dude look- look at how hot I fucking am now!” 

Charlie can hear the choking tears in Kian’s voice. 

There’s a look from Condi. A look that conveys… something. Maybe an ‘are we really doing this?’ Or maybe just simple confusion. Either way, he looks at Grizzly with eyes that tell a story. Grizzly is not entirely sure what they’re trying to say. “Rolan would, uh, kind of just… listen. He shuts up and just… looks at Kian. Because Kian asked him to, and right now he just wants-… he just wants a moment.”

“Rolan, you look at Kian, and you notice how much different he is. Soft antennae poke out of his hair. He has wings that seem to be currently fluttering in excitement. There’s fluff at his neck, and you can very clearly tell that-.. that he’s a part of the hive. He has- he has another set of arms below his normal ones. If it wasn’t obvious with how he looks, it’s definitely obvious by the increased connection you feel with him- the way you can almost feel his emotions bleeding into your own. But he’s still Kian. And Grizz, I’m gonna dm you something,” Charlie smiles.

A groan, “Dude you’re being so secretive about everything,” he starts, ready to be upset with some ominous question or power roll or some shit, only to be caught reading Charlie’s message and a flush spreading across his face. “Shit, seriously? We’re doing this now? I was gonna, like, wait until-“

Charlie only raises a brow at him, “Just answer the question I sent you, Nate,” he hums.

Grizzly obliges. Charlie’s grin grows wider.

“Alright. Rolan, as you look at Kian, and you feel his….his thoughts, his emotions bleeding into your own. There’s this.. surge... of love and appreciation that you feel for… for yourself.”

“I kiss him.”

“WHAT- H-… hold on, what?” And it’s Grizzly asking, like he hadn’t expected this to go down like this.

Condi snickers, “What? L-.. listen, earlier Kian said he was hot, and now Rolan can feel him-.. feel him loving him? He’s kissing him. He doesn’t-.. he doesn’t fucking care right now, it doesn’t matter that it’s the 80s because he’s a fucking bug and he’s just happy to be alive, and happy his friend is alive. And, like-.. I don’t know. He came back to this town after ten years, and even if he didn’t talk to them- Rolan always missed them, you know? He wants-… he came back and even though he was in town to grieve he took the time to fuck around with them and shit. I think Rolan’s always loved-… loved his friends, but it’s the fucking 80s and it’s not like he’s going to admit that. Maybe-… maybe that’s part of the reason he left. So yeah, when Kian talks to him like that and he can feel him looking at him like he’s fucking in love with him, he’s gonna kiss him,” Condi rolls his eyes.

For some reason, Grizz is blushing. Like it’s Condi saying that about him. Which is dumb, because in Apotheosis he literally roleplayed having sex with one of Charlie’s pcs. Although maybe, now that Condi’s thinking about it, it’s not that dumb considering how much he and Charlie ended up blushing that night, and how it ended up being the catalyst for them getting together.

“Uh-.. Kian-.. fuck, man, uh-…”

Charlie laughs like there’s an inside joke only he gets going on. “You good, Nate? Something bothering you?”

Grizzly stares at Charlie, glaring horribly, “Shut the fuck up, Charlie! You know what’s bothering me you ass,” he rubs his face to try and calm down. “God, this is so stupid, why can’t I just be normal about this-“

“Like how you were normal about the time you payed Bizly actual money to get in a fucking cage-“ Charlie counters,

“SHHH- SHUT UP! Dude, you suck, I hate you, I hate you-“

“You love me, don’t lie-“

Condi tunes them out because he is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Because now that he thinks about it, Grizz is acting suspiciously like he did during that one episode, but towards Condi. A small moment of processing before he speaks up over Charlie and Grizz bickering.

“Nate, do you have a crush on me?” He asks, and it’s a stupidly childish way to ask. Who calls it a crush, even? That feels really dumb. But also, he kind of has to ask.

Charlie immediately bursts out laughing, which makes Condi… less confident in his guess. Grizz, though, immediately hides his face and goes red.

“Shit, dude!” He groans, “Can we, like-… can we do the fuckin- the game? Can we just do the game-“

“No. Absolutely not, let’s talk about this,” Charlie smiles, looking at his boyfriend through the screen with intense smugness.

“Fuck you, this is embarrassing! Sh-shit,” he laughs at himself, not really knowing what to say. “Uh, hah-… y-…yes? C-…Charlie fuck you, help me out here!”

“What am I supposed to say, man? Quit your job, join our emo polycule? The fuck am i supposed to say?” Charlie rolls his eyes, and Condi feels like he’s just walked into a room where everyone is a quantum mechanic who knows each other and it’s his first day on the damn job. 

He feels like this plotline is moving way too fast and he needs time to make sense of it all. He goes over the facts. They’re playing Call of Cthulhu. Charlie is dming, and Condi’s playing Rolan. Rolan kissed Kian because, well-.. Condi felt like it’s something his character would do in that moment, because it kind of just made sense for Rolan to be in love with Kian. And Rand, but they weren’t at that point yet. And then Grizz started blushing, and Charlie started talking to him like they had this weird inside joke, so Condi straight up asked if Nate has a crush on him, and Nate just said yes. Good recap, Condifiction. Recapfiction. Condi…condi-fucking… whatever. And now Charlie’s just said something about joining a polycule.

“W-…what? I’m-… I’m so confused. Can-… fucking… what?” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and what to say and what to do. 

Charlie sighs, “Shit, man. Don’t-… don’t worry about it, this-.. god, this is dumb. Sorry, I got a little carried away, I just-…”

Grizz plants his face on his desk, deeply embarrassed and unsure what to do. Because now Condi knows about his crush on him, and he seemingly isn’t taking it well.

A few moments of Connect The Dots, as Condi focuses on the polycule part, “Does that mean you, like-… also have a crush on me?” He asks, directed at Charlie.

Awkward laughter spills from his mouth as he turns red, “Woah, hah- haha, why don’t we- why don’t we focus on- on the game, man, this is-… shit.” He looks away.

Condi blinks. He looks at Grizz’s video feed, watching as he just lays his head on his desk. “You know, the worst thing about being queer is falling in love with your friends,” Condi starts, trying to say things elegantly and not make a complete fool of himself, “And, uh, it sucks. Like, really bad. Especially when it’s not, like, reciprocated,” he says, awkwardly realising this probably sounds like a rejection, “And for-… for the longest time, I’ve looked at you guys, and thought, like-… fuck, cause you’ve-… you’ve given me a place, you know? And I ended up loving you for it, and it… it sucked. Because y’know, at the time-… at the time you were straight. And then-…. Then Apotheosis 11 happened, and I had to watch as the people-…” he almost wants to cry, remembering this, remembering watching them figure out who they were after that episode, “The people i loved realise-… realise who they were because they were in love with each other. And it-… it hurt. To watch-… watch you guys-… realise. Realise what you were, and realise-… shit,” he reaches up to wipe a tear from his eye as his voice breaks, “I wanted to be-… a part of it. So if you guys are asking-… if you’re asking what I think you are, then yes. Fuck, fucking one thousand times yes,” he squeezes his eyes shut.

Readying himself for rejection. For a punchline to a joke. For them to laugh and say that them dating was a joke or something and they were straight and just doing this to fuck with him. Laughter rings in his ears, but it seems relieved. There’s also a light background of tears he can barely parse.

“Shit, dude, you didn’t-… fuck, that’s so stupidly poetic, I-… yes, please, fucking hell, actually? You’ve-… you’ve actually wanted-… l-… loved us for that long? Dude, if i fucking knew that I would’ve fucking asked!” Charlie cries, a somber edge to his tone as he laughs to end it. An incredulous laughter and relieved sobs.

Grizzly looks through the screen at Condi with what he can only describe as puppy dog eyes, “Really? You aren’t-… you aren’t joking?”

An incredulous stare, “Do you think I’d joke about this?”

Sniffles echo through the mic, “N-no, I just- I don’t know, this is unexpected! I-…what does this, like, mean for us?”

“It means Bizlys getting cucked-“ Condi quips, delighting in hearing Charlie’s snort.

“It means we’re going to talk about this after we finish this god damn campaign. We can’t just keep Bizly alone in a vc while we talk about relationship shit…”

Grizzly laughs slightly, “Right, uh-… okay, back to Blood in the Bayou. K-…Kian would kind of-… he’d be surprised, at first, and not kiss back, but then when he-… when he gets over that he like, grabs onto Rolan as tight as he can and kisses back. And it’s-… it’s scary for him, ‘cause of what happened with Becky, and he has this awful panic that that-… that it’ll happen again, but it’s Rolan. And he can trust Rolan, right? So he just kind of-.. like, you know. They kiss and it’s awesome, okay?!”

Condi hums, “After a while, Rolan would pull away, and he’d-.. he’d be smiling. At first he’s terrified that- that maybe what he just did isn’t okay, but looking at Kian reassures him immediately that it is,” Rolan barely breathes, “…I love you.”

Kian makes a small noise of surprise, “I-…I love you too.”

“Rolan would, uh-… he’d get up off of the ground, kind of, sort of feeling a little embarrassed now, and like-… he sits up, and takes a second to breathe.”

“You both kind of-… get up off of each other and now that you aren’t… caught in the moment, you can really take a look at eachother. Kian, you look at Rolan, and his eyes are pitch black. Long, thin antennae poke out of his hair and above his head. His arm still has that… scythe-ness to it. Rolan, when you look at Kian you see… more than you realised earlier. His leopard print coat is ripped and torn. You can see… a scar, trailing up from his chest and to his face from where, when he was uh, buggo mode, you ripped him in half. His eyes are pitch black too, but he has another set just below his normal eyes that are smaller and less… pronounced. When you first looked at eachother, you didn’t… notice this. All you saw was your friend. But now that you’re looking, it’s so much more obvious,” Charlie monologues.

Grizz thinks for a moment, “Kian’s eyes kind of, uh, flit from side to side for a moment, and then they look right at Rolan,” Kian speaks, “What-… dude, do you know what’s going on? Where… are we? Did we-… did we become a part of those bug things?”

A sharp, pained intake of breath from Rolan, “I-.. I don’t want to think about that right now. Let’s-… let’s find rand, and then we can deal with this shit. Alright?” Condi forces himself to hold his breath and not think about how this is mirroring their own conversation, “And he would extend a hand to Kian and help him up.”

“A-…alright, dude. But if-.. if we can stop this, I don’t want to die. Maybe-… maybe this can be okay, dude. Maybe being a bug isn’t so bad,” he murmurs, and Grizzly sighs, “And he would get up with Rolan,” Kian takes a moment to speak again, “How-.. how are we gonna find Rand?”

Condi sighs, “Rolan would kind of… run a hand through his hair,” he pauses, “Uh-… if he’s… a part of the hive, then we should just be able to… find him. Know where he is.”

“Ooh, hey- dm, can I try something?” Grizzlys eyes flit to Charlie.

“What are you going to try?” The smile is audible in his voice.

“I would like to… try and do- try and do that clicking thing to try and find Rand. Can I do that?” Nate asks.

Charlie takes no moment to debate, “Yeah, you can try. You-.. you decide that you’re going to do this, and you feel your neck distend and crack and you crane it up to the sky and this clicking resounds from your throat. What are… you saying?”

Grizzly blinks. “Shit. Uh-….” He clears his throat, “Rand? Where are you?” He says awkwardly, laughing at himself for how stupid it sounds.

Charlie snorts, “Yeah, okay, you do that, and nothing fucking happens. Rolan- you look at Kian, and-… at his body distorting, and you can’t help but think he’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. And then you realise what he’s saying, and you realise he’s an utter fucking idiot.”

“Hey! How am I meant to know what to do, man? It’s not Kian’s fault! He just, like, didn’t know that shit, dawg-“ Nate huffs.

A smirk from Condi, “Yeah, yeah, of course, dude. Rolan would close his eyes and locate Rand,” he says, giggling smugly as he listens to Grizz’s indignation at how he just seemed to be able to Know how to do that.

Charlie’s response only further contributes to the flame that is Nate’s upset-ness, “of course. You do that, and you know where to go to find Rand now. It’s essentially back the way you came from and then around that corner so you can take the other path.”

“Alright, I grab Kians hand and start- start walking,” he muses, “Come on, rockstar, Rand is this way,” Rolan teases. 

Kian huffs, “Hey! I was trying to find him, I’m sure I would have eventually if you just let me-“

Rolan rolls his eyes, “Mhm, sure thing.”

Charlie smiles, feeling a contentness in them. Hearing the peace. Hearing the happiness. “Alright. You… start heading towards him, and now… we need to get Biz in here. And probably, uh…. Tell him. What’s going on.”

A huff from Condi, “Tell him what? That we’re starting a fucking polycule? Invite him to join? I mean, yeah, I get that we should… tell him, but uh-… how? And maybe after we actually figure shit out.”

A noise from Nate, “Invite him to join?” He speaks up, confused by the choice of wording.

Condi sighs, “…You thought if I fell in love with my DnD group it’d be just you two? No, uh-… Zach is, like, attractive. And also an idiot, who’s definitely extremely straight,” he murmurs, before going over and clicking the button to move Bizly into their call. Because he can’t stand talking about this for another moment. Unfortunately, Nate decides he has a comment to make about Condi’s sentence as soon as Bizly joins. 

“I mean, we can obviously all agree that Bizly is hot, he’s like, a fucking bear, man…” he rolls his eyes.

Bizly’s eyes widen at his introductory sentence to the call. “Hey. Hey, Nate, what?” 

And, again, Grizzly is blushing, “SHIT, man! Who fucking- who put him in the call! Fucking warn us next time!”

“The fuck you mean warn you??? Why do you wanna be warned, the fuck are you guys saying about me?” He challenges.

Condi sucks in a breath and feels like he’s going to throw up. This is going great.

Charlie butts in, “Grizz, this is almost entirely your fault-“

“It absolutely is not! Condi literally started this-!”

Condi and Bizly lock eyes over the call. Bizly’s eyes narrow. “The fuck happened while I was gone?”

Charlie gives him a succinct response, “Polycule.”

“That ain’t even a word, man. What are you talking about,” Bebo narrows his eyes.

Grizzly decides to take it upon themself to explain, “Okay, so, you know how Charlie and me are dating?”

Bizly nods.

“A polycule is like… just when three or more people date, really,” he explains. 

Florida man struggles to comprehend queerness.

“…wait, are you guys, like… dating now?” Bizly says.

They all look at eachother. 

Condi speaks up, “It’s more, uh-… complicated than that. We’re just-… we’re just kind of talking about it right now, we haven’t really gotten that far, but-“

“Wanna join?” Nate interrupts.

Bizly short circuits. He feels unreasonably warm. His face is red and he sputters, “D- dude what? What do you mean, are you-… are you asking me if i wanna join your weird fuckin, uh… the fuck was it even called. Whatever. Are-…” he pauses, looking at them. He’s red and it’s clear he’s embarrassed. 

Charlie laughs awkwardly, “I mean, uh, I don’t know, if you want to, i think Nate was just joki-“

“I’ll join!” Bizly cuts him off, to literally everyone’s surprise. “I-… I’m not gonna be-…fuckin-… if all my friends are dating I’m not gonna fuckin third wheel the whole time, man… I don’t do that shit, it’s gonna be way too awkward,” he reasons, but he’s still red and he’s pointedly looking away. 

Condi suppresses a laugh, eyes tracing the redness on his face. Sure, Biz. The panic in your face says otherwise, “Dude, do you even know what you’re agreeing to? I’m pretty sure I’ve heard Charlie slip up and call Grizz pup before. Do you want a weird shitty pet name?”

And now Charlie’s red, “It’s-… okay, look, it’s-“

“I’ll just come up with shittier pet names. Imma call Charlie my wet boy. I’m gonna come up to you and be like ‘kiss me my little wet boy,’” Bizly counters.

Charlie cringes horribly, “oh, that is-… that’s awful.”

Bizly rolls his eyes, “Then I guess you just don’t get kisses,”

Grizzly pauses, “So-… hold on, does this mean-… like, we’re all dating now?”

Silence falls over them, broken when Bizly- of all people, again- speaks up, “I mean, like, I’m game if you’re game.”

Quiet, once more. For someone who’s supposedly just doing this so he doesn’t have to third wheel, he sure is making a lot of moves. 

“Uh-… yeah, I, uh-.. that sounds good. I’d like that,” Charlie breathes, looking at the others for confirmation.

There are no protests. Not that there was any world in which there would be. A small smile from Charlie, “Well, uh-.. let’s play some CoC!” He snickers at his own joke. Bizly groans. 

Charlie takes a deep breath in and tries to get back into his DMing mode. Flip the switch, stop thinking about kissing your friends. Boyfriends. (He tries to ignore the giddy feeling in his stomach.) “Al-right! Let’s, uh… let’s go to Rand,” he sighs, trying to go into I’m On Camera mode, “Rand. You-…” there’s another breath in. Like he’s struggling.

“You’ve got this, babe,” Condi teases, knowing that calling him a pet name would simply multiply his whole problem.

Charlie seethes, “Dude!  S-shut the fuck up im trying to focus, man, you’re such a dick,”  he tries to regulate his breathing, taking one more big breath in for the road. “Okay. Rand. You wake up, and…everything is wrong. Your body doesn’t sit right in your skin. You feel something peeking through your hair, and it’s uncomfortable and wrong. You feel… a weight at your back. It’s light, but hard. You feel like there’s… almost like there’s too much of you,” Charlie smiles. “There’s something… sprouting from below your arms. Out of the sides of your chest. And you also feel… pleasantly warm. Like you’ve been wrapped in a nice blanket. Below you, there is… what feels like blankets. And all around you, you hear that… click. Click. Click. But this time…it’s closer. Almost like it’s right next to you. You open your eyes, and it’s… dark. Almost dank. There’s something leaking from the ceiling.”

Bizly stares for a moment, “That is-… a tone shift. Uh, Rand-… Rand would try and see if-… if he can move what’s under his arms?” 

A mischievous laugh from Charlie, “Lovely. You try to move this… thing, and when you do, when it moves in front of your eyes, you realise… that it is an extra set of arms. And you realise that what is on your back is wings. And you realise that what’s on top of your head is antennae. And you realise that horrid, horrid clicking sound you hear- is coming from you.”

Rand almost chokes, “Shit,” is all he says- because he wouldn’t be caught talking to himself like he was fucking insane, “And Rand would stand up quickly. I- I look around, and i put my hand over my mouth to try and stop that- that sound coming from me,”

Charlie steals a glance at the other two players. Not yet. “Well, you’re… in a room. If you want to find anything specific other than that it’s dank and dark, you can try and roll me a spot hidden.”

Bizly shuffles onto dnd beyond and groans, “I don’t see nothin’.”

He smiles, “Rand, you don’t see shit. And … I need you to make me a listen roll.”

Rand grimaces, “Yeah, that’s, okay… sure. Great, I will do that, and that’s not suspicious at all-“

“Actually-… actually, Rand, I lied, I’m gonna roll this for you. Just because I don’t think you have… the right stats for your listening skill,” he hums, and smiles when he sees the colour drain from Rand’s face, “that is a hard success. So-… Rand, you hear that clicking, and it slowly becomes… intelligible to you. You understand. And you hear, first, the clicks coming from your own throat. What- at the base of his heart, deep in his mind, just pure instincts- what would Rand be calling out?”

Rand sucks in a nervous breath, “Fuck, man, uh-.. I-… I’d probably be-… I’d be clicking, um,” he falters, “Rachel. Kian. Rolan. Help. Where am I? Rachel? Kian? Rolan?” He speaks carefully.

Charlie’s smile grows ever wider, “That is lovely, Rand. After you hear… your own clicks, you hear others. Some are voices you can… recognise- parse. One sounds like-..” Charlie snickers, “One sounds like Billy Mays-“

“Dude no! He didn’t make it out! Dawg what the fuck! That’s evil,” Grizz buts in, arms folded as they glare.

Charlie simply allows himself to snicker again, “One sounds like… like your dad, Rand. But closer, almost like they’re coming towards you- you hear Kian and Rolan. Kian, Rolan- you can now hear Rand’s clicking. What are you saying- clicking- as you get closer to Rand?”

Rolan starts it off, “Shit- Kian, did you hear that? That was- I hear him, I hear Rand-“ he clicks, “And he turns to face Kian when he says this.”

“Yeah! I heard it, he’s calling for us, man! Let’s hurry, Ro, I don’t want him to be alone,” Kian clicks, “And he, uh, starts trying to pull Rolan and walk faster.”

“Rolan, uh-… Rolan grips your hand tightly, and just kind of… lets you drag him. He wants to get to Rand just as much as you, Kian,” Condi murmurs.

Charlie smiles, “Great! So, Rand, that’s what you hear, and you can do whatever you want, now, I guess,” he finishes lamely.

Bizly blinks, “Right, so-… uh…I guess I’d just… wait? I mean, if it sounds like them, and it sounds like they’re coming towards me-… Rand uh, wants-… he wants his friends. He’s kinda… kinda a little scared. Kinda don’t wanna be alone.” 

“Then we’re going to switch over to you guys! If there’s nothing else you wanna do before you meet up with Rand, we can go ahead and have you, uh, get in there with him,” Charlie offers.

Condi shrugs, “I mean, yeah, sure, that works. Kian?”

Kian smiles at Condi- an award winning smile, truly, “Bitchin’.” 

“Alright, then-.. Rand, you watch as… as the door to this room you’re in swings open with the force of Kian bursting through, and Rolan steps in close behind him. But there’s something… wrong. With them. Kian- wings sprout from Kians back, soft and fuzzy and-… and not unlike those moths you see gathering around your porch light when you go out for a late night smoke. These… antennae sprout from his head, and they stand out like a sore thumb in his mop of teased blonde hair. Worse is his eyes. His- his scleras, the white parts of his eyes, they’re black, now, and there’s another, smaller pair of eyes just below his normal set. Another addition to Kian’s-… figure is the arms that sprout from the sides of his torso. Rolan doesn’t look-… doesn’t really look different besides the addition of a pair of antennae on top of his head. And you-… you take this in when you look at them,” Charlie smiles, proud of his descriptions. 

Rand blinks, trying to take in the description of how his friends have changed since he last saw them, “So-… so they’re, like, bugs, now?” He asks. He gets a small ‘mhmm’ from Charlie, “I think-.. I think I’d just stare, mostly,” he clears his throat, before speaking as his character, “…Whoa.” He says, breathlessly.

“Kian- Kian would pause from where he’d just burst in- and they were going-… he was going to just, like, pounce on Rand, but seeing the way Rand’s just… sat there staring at him, he’d kind of pause and giggle,” Kian tilts his head, “Like what you see, Rand?”

Bizly can’t help but snicker, even though he’s outwardly groaning, “Come on, dude, you made - you made it gay!”

“Trust me, he can make it gayer,” Rolan mutters, rolling his eyes fondly.

“The fucks that supposed to mean-“

“You’re the one who kissed me!” Kian retorts, a playful glare set about his face.

Rolan’s hand goes to his hips, “You’re the one who looked- who fuckin-… shit. It’s not- important right now, we’ve got-… there’s other shit,” he runs a hand through his hair. “I would, uh, kind of shoot a look at Kian. Like I’m asking him-… well, like, you know-..” Rolan finishes lamely.

Rand blinks, “The fuck shit did y’all get up to when I was gone, dude?? You guys kissed?” 

“Yeah, cause Kian’s a disaster gay who can’t keep it in his pants,” Rolan quips, Kian almost talking over him with the force of his response,

“That is not what happened! I literally- it’s the bug shit! It’s not my fault, Rolan- Rolan heard my fucking brain, oh my god, this is stupid,” Kian grumbles.

Bizly’s hands go up to rub at his face, “Alright, okay… Rand is going to, uh… he blinks, and looks caught off guard,” Rand seems nervous, “I- I mean, you-… you look sick, dude, I guess so?” He murmurs. Like he doesn’t understand the implications. (Or maybe like he’s ignoring them.) 

Kian smiles, “Thanks dude, uh-… you look great too. You look, uh,” Nate pauses, “And he’s, uh, he’s definitely blushing,” he continues, “You look good.”

Condi smiles a bit, “Rolan would kind of- kind of nod along,” he pauses, “Yeah, you look-… you look nice, Rand,”

Bizly looks red, and he covers his face. “Dude, if this is how you guys are going to act around me, I think I’m a lil scared,” he laughs nervously. He does not know if he could handle it.

“Nah, we’re gonna be worse,” Nate begins, and Charlie quickly jumps in to agree with him.

“Yeah man, we’re gonna- we’re gonna fucking-… like-…saying you look nice is not even a big thing, we’re gonna, like, say you’re hot and stuff-“

Nate cuts in, “Dude, that’s not shit, that’s, like, a given. We should- we should talk about, like how good his chest looks and stuff. Like, dude, have you seen his chest?” 

Condi rolls his eyes, “That feels like low hanging fruit, man. Honestly it all does, like h- have you looked at him?”

“Yeah, I wanna- like, I wanna shove my face in his boobs. It’d be fuckin’ awesome.” Grizz sighs dramatically longingly. 

Bizly makes a noise. “H-hey, w- what? No. No! you will not be shoving your face in my- in my chest???”

Charlie smirks, “Yeah, he’ll be shoving his face in your boobs, man. Huge difference.”

“I don’t have boobs!” Bizly glares at his friends.

“Hey, c’mon, man, it’s nothin’ to be ashamed of,” Condi shrugs, pointedly standing up straighter in the camera and showing off his own chest. “You got boobs,”

“And they’re amazing,” Nate adds, pretending like he’s ogling Bizly through the camera. Or maybe not pretending. It’s hard to tell.

Bizly sucks in a breath awkwardly. He’s, like, super red. He can not handle this. He was not expecting all this fucking praise! Like, yeah, he didn’t want to be the third wheel, but they’re basically just attacking him! With compliments! 

“Alright, guys, let’s- let’s get back to the- to the campaign,” he tries to redirect, pointedly not looking properly into the camera, but rather at his screen and character sheet. 

“Aw, no, look, guys, we flustered him! Guys,” Charlie chides playfully, a smile evident in his voice, “You guys. We can’t scare him off from the relationship before we even do fun stuff!”

“Dude I’m literally leaving the call if you don’t stop,” he threatens, but it’s obvious he’s not actually mad. It is also obvious he is not lying and he absolutely will leave the call if they don’t stop.

Charlie laughs, “Okay, okay, okay- back to- back to the- the fuckin-… yeah,” 

Bizly picks up where he left off, which is, unfortunately, right after Rand had gotten complimented. He groans. “Okay. Just for the record, this is stupid, and don’t expect any other shit like this from me in the future just because- just because fuckin-… you know what,” he alludes vaguely, knowing he couldn’t be specific because this still has to be uploaded to the fucking patreon, “but. Rand is-… Rand’s face gets- gets all red like he’s embarrassed n’ shit,” Rand looks away. “Yeah, uh-…,” he clears his throat, “Thanks, man. So-… so do you guys know-…know what’s going on?”

“Rolan kind of- Rolan shakes his head,” Condi describes, “No, uh-… no. We-… our first kind of, uh, thing was-… was finding you. Well, finding-… finding each other. I-… I came to look for you guys, first thing.”

Rand groans, “So-… shit. We-… we’re bugs. We’re the freaky bug things. We didn’t- we didn’t-… we didn’t save anyone,” there’s a panic in his voice, “Rand- Rand kind of feels around to try and find a fucking cigarette, cause he needs that shit right now.”

“You- you wouldn’t have a cigarette, Rand,” Charlie tells him.

“Is that-… I mean, is that really that bad?” Kian tilts his head, “sh-…he’ll, uh, go up to Rand and grab him by his shoulder.”

Rolan seems flabbergasted, “What? Kian- fucking of course it’s bad! I-… look at us, we aren’t-… we aren’t ourselves, we’re-… we’re copies, we’re stupid copies and literally everyone we care about is fucking dead!” 

Kian glares at him, “Are they? Are they dead or are-… are they just-… we’re not dead. We’re not copies. I know that because- because when I fucking turned into one , I- I remembered that shit! When- when I was alive again, I fucking remembered being a bug. We-… we aren’t copies. May-…maybe there was never even anyone to save! Maybe fuckin’- maybe Rachel was right, maybe-… maybe this is, like, good, dude,”

Rand interrupts him, “That wasn’t Rachel and you know it, Kian. I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t her,” he growls.

Kian takes in an uneasy breath, “No, but, like-… it was a part of her. She was there, dude, you saw her! Just-… there was more- more than just her, you know? And fuckin- the queen was right. We can’t-… we won’t die now, and we have- we have all this cool bug shit, and look at us! We-… were together! We-…” she blinks away tears, “We were never making it out of Galloway, man. Not all of us. Not alive. But-… but this-… this is better. We get-… we get to be better,” his eyes flit to Rand, begging for him to agree. She can see it in his eyes that he does. Can see by that look that he knows.

But Rolan clearly doesn’t feel the same. “Kian-“ he starts, clearly about to scold him, but then he sees that look on Rand’s face. “…No. No, Rand, don’t tell me you fucking agree with him! He’s- he’s being fucking insane! Tell him- tell him he’s being insane, tell him this isn’t right!” He sounds broken.

Rand looks at him with a soft look in his eyes. Rolan despises it. “Rolan-… he’s-…he’s right, though. Fuckin- even if we didn’t die trying to kill-… to kill the Queen, you would’ve died anyway! You said it yourself, and- and who knows if the Queen dying would’ve just killed you outright because of the hive mind bullshit!”

“Don’t- I’m not fucking Rolan, Rand,” he bites out, “Rolan died when I was fucking born,” tears form at the edges of his eyes, “Rolan never grew up. Rolan’s still some kid rotting in the fucking bayou! I’m not your friend, I’m not-“

“Rand- Rand grabs Rolan by his shoulders,” Bizly interrupts, “And kinda- he kinda looks him in the eyes.” He pauses, and then Rand speaks. “Rolan. Kian-… Kian said so himself, we aren’t just copies. If-… I mean, if he remembered that shit when he- when he revived, then we aren’t copies.”

Rolan glares, “We aren’t people, either. And- and maybe you guys aren’t, but-… but my parents had-… my parents had copies before they died. I could just be a copy! You don’t know what I am, Rand-“

Rand is not deterred whatsoever, “Yeah I fucking do, Ro. You’re our friend. Now stop fuckin’-… stop being like that,” he has a judgy look in his eyes. “I can’t take care of myself, don’t make me take care of you.”

“Kian- kian kinda leans their head against Rand’s shoulder,” Nate says, “Does it even really matter, anyway? I mean, like, we’re here now, which is totally bitchin’! And we- we’re cooler! Look at the fuckin’ wings I got!” Kian lets Grizz speak, “And he, uh, he spreads his wings behind himself to show them off.”

Rolan’s face is anything but approving. He doesn’t say anything. 

“Dude, just-… like, don’t kill yourself or anything,” Rand glared at him pointedly, “You’re-… you’re our friend. So cut the bullshit,” he finishes, “Rand- Rand kinda looks away and doesn’t say anything else. He’s not real good with emotions,” Bizly comments. 

Rolan sighs. “Alright. I-… I won’t. What do we do next, then? What-… what are we gonna do about all of this? We-… we have to fight it, don’t we? This- this isn’t okay.”

“Rand would- Rand would kinda lean up against the wall-“

“It’s sticky. And meaty,” 

“…Dude, why?” Bizly looks at Charlie in disgust.

Charlie snickers, “What do you mean why? It’s made of meat! You’re in a hive made of meat, I don’t know what you expected.”

Rand cringes, “Okay, well-… I don’t move, but for the record I do feel gross,” he comments, “W-…we could look for Rachel. Or, uh- the Queen, or whatever. But the Queen will have Rachel, and-… I dunno. Maybe she’ll help us-… help us find out what to do.”

Kian seems like he has something he wants to say. He purses his lips awkwardly, “Dudes, could-… could we try to find Becky?” Kian asks quietly.

The other two blink. Rand is the first to speak up, “Dude-… didn’t Becky kill you?”

He looks away quite pointedly. “I-…I mean yeah, but isn’t it sort of romantic…? She-… I mean, she wanted us to be together, right? She stayed-… she stayed by my side, while I died. I don’t- I don’t think she meant to kill me in, like-… a rude way, you know?” 

Charlie snorts.

Rolan runs a hand through his hair, sighing tiredly. “You’re both insane,” he says plainly. “I-…going to see the Queen sounds like an awful fucking idea. What-… what do you think she’d do to us? We’re-…” he takes a deep breath in.

Rand doesn’t speak loudly. “She’s-… she has Rachel in her. She’s-… on some level she’s Rachel. I don’t think she’d-… I don’t think she’d hurt us.”

Rage shows plainly on Rolan’s face, “Rand, she fucking killed us! What do you mean she wouldn’t hurt us?!” 

Rand scowls at him. “I dont-… I don’t say anything, I just turn around and grab-… grab Kian’s hand and start just kind of walking in-… in whatever direction I end up facing,” 

“Kian doesn’t-… he doesn’t stop you. She kinda squeezes your hand and looks back at- at Rolan to kinda urge him along,” Nate says, not noticing their slip up in wording.

“…She?” Charlie asks quietly.

Grizz blinks. “Oh, uh-… yeah, I guess so?” They say, like it’s still sort of a question to them, “It just, uh-… felt right. Kian just kinda seems like-... like they’d dig any pronouns to me, I guess.”

Rand forces himself not to raise a brow at Grizzly’s words. Yeah. Sure. Like it wasn’t her own choice what pronouns they used. Not like Grizz’ could say that out loud, though. He lets it pass.

“Doesn’t matter what pronouns Kian uses, I’m getting us out of here. If Rolan cares,” Rand says pointedly, “then he’ll follow.”

“Rolan-… Rolan kind of clicks angrily, if that makes sense?” Condi asks, continuing when he isn’t stopped, “Stop acting like I’m making a big deal out of nothing! This is- this is a big deal, she fucking killed us-“

Kian cuts him off, “Dudes! Stop! You’re both-…” he groans, massaging his temples, “You’re both talking about us getting killed by people, like-… like we’re even dead! Becky didn’t kill me, and Rachel didn’t kill any of us,” 

Rand doesn’t respond directly, but there’s a look in his eyes that says he, begrudgingly, agrees. “Rand’s grip is tighter cause-… cause he's angry.”

Rolan stews in his building anger, an angry expression painting his face. “You’re-… we aren’t alive-“

“Rand fucking snaps. He whirls around and starts fuckin- walkin up to Rolan angrily,” after the explanation, Rand speaks, “Listen, Ro, just cause your life has been fuckin’ perfect this whole time youve been gone, just because you decided to fucking leave us- just because you’re so god damn used to being fucking perfect doesn’t mean you get to act like we are! We’re all fuckin’ alive, we’re living and fucking breathing right now! Just because you don’t get to run away again back to your stupid fucking lawyer job and pretend it’s all fine and over and you never have to see us again doesn’t make you dead! Stop acting like being stuck with us is some fucking chore, Rolan, I’m fucking tired of it!” Rand yells, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

“It’s not like that!” Rolan screams back, “It’s not about fucking leaving you, Rand! God’s sake, it’s about not being the fucking Rolan you know! I’m not a fucking person! I’m a monster! I’m not your friend, I’m not trying to get away from you! I wanted to get away from fucking Galloway. I wanted to get away from the place where I-… where your friend fucking died! Because I’m not him, Rand! Stop- stop acting like this is all some fun fucking thing where we get to have a happy ending!”

Rand scoffs angrily, “You’re not fucking dead, Rolan! You’re here with the rest of us! This is our happy fucking ending! Because this?” He gestures all around him, “This is the fucking world where we’re not dead. This is the world where we didn’t die in a fucking car crash, or blow up with a fucking bomb, this is the ending where we get to fucking see eachother again! I-… fuck. If you would have-… if we-… if I could’ve survived and got Rachel fucking back after that-…” he sounds like he’s past being on the verge of tears. They fall from his eyes. “I wouldn’t-… I wouldn’t have survived much fucking longer, I can tell you that,” he grits out.

Rolan stares, open mouthed, unsure of what to say. His eyes show he’s clearly searching for the words. A glance to Kian shows she’s not letting him have an easy way out by just looking at them.

Rand continues, “This is our happy fucking ending, Rolan. If you don’t want it, you can leave. Again. Like you always fuckin’ do,” he hisses. He doesn’t want Rolan to leave. He prays to god he won’t. “I don’t care what we fucking are. As long as we’re together. I can’t-… I can’t lose you guys again.”

Rolan takes in a shaky breath, “Rand-…” he doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know how to tell Rand any of the way he feels. “I don’t-… I care about-… I care about you guys, I just-… I don’t feel like a fucking person anymore, Rand. I can’t just- I can’t just stop that! This- this Queen is going to take over the fucking world, I-… I’m not so fucking important that you should sacrifice the fucking world for it! Especially not when I’m-…” Condi swallows, “His- his eyes would kinda go black after he blinks,” he lets Rolan speak, “When I’m this, and I have been for so many fucking years.”

“I don’t fucking care about the rest of the world! I don’t care about the other fucking people! I care- I care about you guys. I’d-… I don’t fucking give a shit. I’d let the world blow to fucking shit if I meant I got to stay with you guys. I don’t care,” he spits out. He feels vulnerable. He doesn’t like that he does.

Rolan doesn’t know what to say. So he stares. “Rand-…” he trails off.

Kian takes in a breath, “It-… it doesn’t really matter anymore, though, does it? What-… what would’ve been the best ending, you know? Cause this-… dudes, this is what we got. And-… and I’m pretty happy with it. We get to be-… together, you know?” Grizzly looks away awkwardly, “He, uh- he hasn’t let go of Rand’s hand. You can-… Char, tell me if I’m wrong, but like-… Rand can kind of feel Kian-… being in love, I guess?”

Charlie just sort of nods slowly. Like, yeah, sure, he can feel that. He’s sort of already abandoned all his notes for the session and is mostly just… trying to let them find their happy ending. 

Bizly sighs loudly and groans into his hands. Grizzly giggles.

“Y-…you good dude? I can fuckin- I can take it back, like-“

“No- no, man, just-… fuckin… hypin’ myself up for this. Tryna get myself in the headspace,” he snorts at his own unintended joke. Yeah. That’s funny, “The headspace to do, like- gay shit, you know?” He mumbles.

Condi closes his eyes, “No, I wouldn’t know, I think I’m always sort of in the gayspace,” he says plainly.

Grizzly nods along, “Honestly, me too, can’t turn that shit off,” they try not to laugh.

“Bizly has to turn on the gayspace, we have to fucking turn it off. I think- I think at one point when we were playing DnD I forgot to turn off the part of my brain that makes all my characters like men, and now I’m stuck like this,” Charlie snickers, and they laugh with him.

Bizly struggles to catch his breath, “Okay- okay,” he wheezes, “Lemme- lemme fuckin do the gay shit, okay? You gotta treasure this shit, I’m not doin’ it again,” he warns. He then proceeds to look down awkwardly. “Y-…yeah, man. We get to be together,” he says quietly. 

Rolan lets out a frustrated groan, “I-… I don’t-… just-… fuck. Let’s go. I’ll-… I’ll follow,” he murmurs, and then Condi speaks, “He kinda- he’s kinda hunched around himself and he- and he’ll follow. He’s g-…he’s gonna walk over and take Kian’s hand, too.”

Kian laughs quietly, “K-…kinda romantic if you think about it, dudes,” 

Rand pauses. “…what?” He asks, bewildered.

She stares at him awkwardly, “I-…you know, just…three bugs… holding hands… maybe those bugs could date, you know?” He proposes. 

Rolan looks away. “I-… I wouldn't mind. I, uh-… you know-… I kissed you earlier, I do-… I do wanna date you,” he says quietly. He wants to. He just doesn’t feel like he has the right. Doesn’t feel like a person. 

Rand almost scoffs. He stops himself. It’s not for him. Of course it’s not. He looks off to the side and doesn’t answer.

“Kian-… Kian looks to Rand and waits for him to answer,” Nate says quietly.

Rand blinks. “Why-… why are you staring at me like that?”

“…you didn’t, uh,” he trails off, “You didn’t answer. Do you-… I-…” Kian pauses, and Nate speaks for him, “He-… he’ll kinda grab your hand and he’ll- he’ll look at you. Just, like, in your eyes,” he lets Kian speak again, “I’m-… I’m in love with you, Rand,” he says quietly.

“What?” Rand asks, bewildered.

Kian sighs, “Rand, I wasn’t just talking to Rolan, I s-… you know, all-… all three of us, man! I-…I love both of you, dudes. I’ve-…” she runs a hand through their hair, “I’ve kinda felt like that since we-… since we were kids. Hell it was- even fuckin’ Becky knew! She, uh-… she told me to go for it, I think, but-… y’know… how people are, I guess. It’s fuckin-… it’s gay, man. People don’t-…”

“People don’t tend to like that, yeah…” Rolan finishes for him. He sucks in a breath, and his eyes flit to Rand. Will he be like them? Like all of the others who shunned them? Like the boys who shoved Kian over when they were younger and called her a dirty fag?

He takes in a breath, “In-…in love with me?” He asks quietly. It seems unfathomable. “Dude, I’m-… I’m 33 and I still live with my fuckin’ parents! I’m- i never got a fuckin’ job and all I do is smoke weed and think-… and think about you guys fucking leaving me when we were kids,” he said. Quiet. Scared.

“Kian-… Kian kinda holds herself a little closer, like, a little more closed off,” Nate says, before allowing him to speak, “I didn’t-… I didn’t want to come back to see you guys until I proved myself, you know? Until I-… until I really made it. But I, uh-… I never did. And-… I’ve been wanting to see you for so long, but it just felt-… it just felt stupid, dude. I didn’t even know if you’d wanna see me, I thought-… I thought maybe if you did you wouldn’t-… you wouldn’t like me anymore,” he says quietly.

Rand almost scoffs, because seriously? “Kian, I still like Rolan. There’s no way-… there’s no way some stupid shit like you not makin’ it in the industry would make me judge you like that. I mean, god knows I couldn’t, either,” he mumbles. 

Rolan glares at him. He doesn’t say anything about leaving Rand, because he’s already said his piece. Anything more would be useless. 

Kian’s gaze intensifies, “Then think- think about yourself that way, dude! It’s-… I don’t know, if you-… if you don’t want to date me, that’s fine, I just-… I don’t know, I thought maybe-… I thought maybe I felt something coming from you.”

Charlie hums, looking at Bizly curiously, “Would he have felt something? With- with the bug hive mind, and stuff, your feelings-… they kinda bleed into each other, so would-… would Kian have felt, uh-… reciprocated feelings?”

Bizly closes his eyes and takes in a deep, annoyed breath. “Yeah,” he says, his tone clipped, “Yeah, Kian would fuckin’-.. he’d know. But it’s fuckin-… it’s the time that it is, and Rand doesn’t-… Rand doesn’t feel good enough. But you can feel- you can feel the-… ugh, you can feel the- the… love, or whatever, Rand feels towards Kian. And- and Rolan, if he was looking for it,” the last part is mumbled. Rand, unlike Bizly, doesn’t respond.

“Kian-… Kian waits for Rand to say something, and he’s just… staring, with- with- with kind of an expectant look,” Nate says.

Rand lets in a breathy sound. Sure. Confess your love for your best friend for a fuckin’ DnD podcast. That’s great. Content. Fun. He looks away, red, “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he says under his breath. “I’m going to hell anyway, might as well do what I want.” Bizly sighs, “And his, uh- his grip on Kian’s hand is tighter.”

“Kian would, uh- Kian would roll his eyes,” Nate prefaces before Kian speaks, “Dude, hell is for assholes like-” Grizz struggles to think of someone for Kian to reference as an asshole. Eventually he comes up with, “Like George Washington. You aren’t-… I mean, you don’t think I-…” he pauses. Like he’s scared to ask. “You don’t think that-… that I’d-… that I’d go to hell, right?”

Bizly laughs slightly, “Rand- Rand looks at Kian like he’s insane.” He lets Rand speak, “Wh-… I don’t-…” he struggles to reason to himself. No, of fucking course Kian wouldn’t go to hell! Kian is fucking-… Kian is fucking awesome. He’s basically a god damn god on Earth. “Ki, It’s- it’s different, man. You’re-… you’re different. You’re awesome, and you’re pretty, and you’re fucking-… you’re just a good person! I’m- I’m not, okay?”

Kian laughs, but it’s strained and sad, “I’m a good person? Rand, I- I lied to you guys about who I was this whole time! I’m not-… if- if you wanna say you’re not a good person, then I’m not either!”

Rand glares, “It’s- it’s different! You’re- you’re a fucking angel, Ki! You’re- youre pretty, and you’re nice, and you do all this shit to try and help us and keep me from tearing off Rolan’s fucking head, I- I… I’m just a stoner who never learned how to get over fucking highschool. I’m-… being gay for me is like- it’s just different! I-…” he hisses, trying to work out the way it was in his head. “When you- when you’re doing it, it’s-… it’s fine. I don’t care, it’s just- it just makes you better, you know? But- but what’s more fucking pathetic than a guy in his 30’s living in his parents fucking attic and still thinking about kissing his friends from high school! His guy friends, who he barely talked to anymore, who should’ve been way too cool to look at him, who shouldn’t- who shouldn’t have even been fucking hanging out with him, man,” he says through grit teeth. 

Rolan stares. “Rand, that’s not-… we care about you, you’re-…” he almost wants to scream. He wants to tell Rand the same shit that Rand was telling him earlier. Maybe he was right. 

Kian’s face goes firm-set. “You’re- Rand, you aren’t-… you’re brave. You’re brave, and- and you worked so hard to get us out of this mess! You’re hot, and you’re strong, and you’re so, so fucking caring, even if you don’t- even if you don’t say it out loud, you- you worked so hard just to get us to be here-“

“And it got you fucking killed!” Rand shouts.

“I don’t fucking care if it got me killed! I care that- I care that maybe we can be together, now! I care that maybe- maybe the fucking fantasy I’ve had since I was a kid might be real! I care- I care that maybe the thing that I’ve been fucking dreaming of since I was god-damn thirteen might-…it might happen.” Tears well in his eyes. He wants it so bad. He just wants Rand to care. To love him. He just wants Rolan to care, to love him. Becky, too. Kian Stone has too much love in his heart. He wants them all, and he wants them to want him, too.

Rand’s breath feels like it’s been stolen from him. Dreaming of it? Since he was a kid? He swallows. “Kian, you-… dreaming of it? With- with me? You have- what about Becky, Ki-“

Kian blinks away his tears, “I want her too! I want-… I want all of you, I don’t- I don’t want to choose, Rand, I love- I love you all,” he said, voice desperately strained. He’s worried Rand will see it differently. Will see it wrong.

Rand pursed his lips. “But-… but why would you want me if you have her- if- if you have Rolan! I’m not- you don’t need me, I’m not-“

Grizzly interrupts him, “Kian’s… can Kian just, like, kiss him to shut him up?” He asks. He wants to make sure.

Rand snickers, “Hell, I’d let him. I’d-… I’d kinda stop fighting and just… take it in. Cause, like, i dunno-… We’ve both been wanting this since we were kids, I’m not-… I’m not gonna fuckin’ stop him,” he says quietly. Embarrassed. This was stupid to admit on a podcast.

Kian smiles at him reassuringly. He sends a nervous smile back.

“I would-… I would just grab you by the shoulders and kiss you. And then-… then after a few moments, I’d-… I’d pull away,” he mumbles, “I want you, too.”

Bizly smiles this time, looking away, “Rand is-… Rand is blushing. He’s a lil’ blushy mess cause- cause his crush has just kissed him n’ told him he likes him, n’ it makes him feel good. He kinda- he just kinda looks away. But he reaches out to grab Kian’s hand again,” he giggles, “Alright, alright! I get- I get it, man, I-… yeah. Let’s-… let’s do this, alright? Let’s just-… let’s just go find Becky,” he murmurs.

Rolan sucks in a breath, “I-… I mean, this kinda just seems like the time to say it, uh, I-… Rand, it isn’t just Kian, you know?” His voice sounds strained. 

Bizly groans, “I’m not- I’m not going through an entire fuckin’ character arc for another gay romance, oh my god,” he sounds exhausted. “Rand fuckin-… this is so stupid. He’s a stupid little fuckin’ baby! Oh my god,” he sighs, ignoring the grumbled Hey! from his head. “…Why?” Rand asks, a completely different tone from Bizly’s. He sounds confused. Almost hurt. 

Rolan blinks, “W-… what do you mean, why?”

Rand shoves a hand up to his face, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. Trying to get rid of the stupid tears. “I- I mean why, I- b-both of you! Why would you- when you have eachother, then- and you’re so much fucking better than me, Rolan, you fucking made it, with- with your stupid big lawyer job, and-“

“Do I need a why? I just- I just love you, man. Fuckin’- yeah, since we were kids,” he lets out a breath and runs a hand through his hair. It’s a weird thing to admit. He’s not sure he even knew it himself until he said it out loud. “I don’t-… I don’t know when it started, I just know-… I just know that it’s true,” he says quietly. Since we were kids. It rings in his head. Was it before or after he died? Is he just making a mockery of the real Rolan? (Or is he the real Rolan? That new possibility rings in his head, now, too, after what Kian had said.) 

Rand shoves his glasses back on roughly, “I’m not fuckin’-… I’m not gonna argue with you. If you want me-… I’m not-… I’m not gonna stop you. Just-… fuckin’ think about what you’re wanting, man,” he murmured. He coughed, and it sounded thick with smoke, “God, I’m a fucking fag,” he murmured, and it was derogatory towards himself. “He’ll- he’ll fumble around in his pocket again for a bit before just kind of- kind of yelling,” Rand speaks, “Fuck! Man, do either of you have a cig?”

Condi blinks. Well, they all do. Charlie is the one who speaks.

“…Biz?” He asks quietly, a barely stifled laugh in his throat.

Bizly furrows his brows at the stares he’s getting. “…dude why are you all looking at me like that,” he murmurs.

Charlie snorts, “Dude! You just- you just said a fucking slur!”

“I-… I can say it! What’s wrong with that! I can say it! Rand can- Rand can fucking say it!” He argued back indignantly.

“Yeah, but dude, they don’t know that! You didn’t even fucking know that until, like, thirty minutes ago!” Nate chimes in.

Bizly groans, “Yeah, but like- dude, I don’t fucking know! My character- my character would do it, what was I supposed to do?!”

“Yeah, I’m sure ‘my character would say a slur’ will go over super well on Twitter dot com,” Charlie mocks.

Nate mocks him too, “No, no, guys! You don’t understand! My character would say faggot in this situation!” 

Bizly sets his head against his tabletop. “Does this mean I have to fucking- to come out or whatever??” He asks, completely genuine.

Condi tried to comfort him, “I mean, like- I’m sure we could- we could cut that out, you don’t have to-“

“Yeah, but I really just feel like Rand would say that! It feels, like- important, you know?” Bizly whines.

Charlie giggles as he speaks, “You-… you think it is vitally important that Rand says a slur.”

“Don’t make fun of me! He would!” 

“Okay, okay! I’m just- I’m just saying, like, people aren’t going to be happy about that, man, and I don’t-… like, you shouldn’t be in a position where you have to come out when you don’t-… when you don’t feel comfortable doing that. I mean- I’m not- I’m not even out, yet, publicly,” Charlie says quietly.

Bizly groans louder. “Man…. This fuckin’ sucks. I don’t even-… dude I don’t even wanna fuckin’ think about what I am, this is bullshit,”

“We’ll- we’ll just cut it out of the episode, dude, it’s not a big deal,” Condi assures him.

“I guess, man, I just-… I dunno, this shit’s confusing, man,” Bizly sighs.

Kian speaks up, trying to divert the conversation, “I would- I would kind of look through my pockets to see if- to see if I have a cigarette I can give Rand.”

“I’m just gonna tell you, none- none of you would have any cigarettes. You- you all died and became bugs. You don’t have cigarettes, man,” Charlie replied.

“Nah, man, I think I lost all mine when we died,” Kian shrugs.

Rolan agrees, “Yeah, and, uh-… I do-… I do want you, like that. So, um-…”

“Rand sorta- he blushes cause he’s-… y’know, cause he’s a loser and he’s in love, and he looks away kinda angrily,” Bizly says, “Fuck- man, I already- I already said yes! Let’s go find-… let’s go fuckin’ find Becky.”

Kian smiles, “Thanks, dude-… it means a lot to me that you’d…” he trails off. “Kian would-… Kian would go up and hold Rand’s hand,”

Rand pauses. “…uh, how do we find her, actually?” 

Rolan blinks. “Oh-… right, uh-…Kian, you know-… you know Becky better, can you, uh-…?” 

“Dude, what? I don’t-… I don’t know how to find her! How did you- how did you find us, man?” Kian asks, confused.

 Rolan is quiet for a moment. “Uh… Charlie, how did I find them?” He asks. He’s not… entirely sure what he did. 

“Well-… for you, it was… it was pretty easy. You just sort of… focused on that feeling of…of finding your friends. Of finding your hive. And it was almost like your mind- your bug brain, sort of… intrinsically knew. Because it was-… because it was them, and you were worried for them,” Charlie says, completely bullshitting all of it. When Condi had asked whether he could find his friends earlier, Charlie had kind of agreed without thinking. Which… happens a lot in improv. Charlie has a hard time saying no to people, sometimes.

“Okay, uh-…” Rolan awkwardly stumbles over his words as he repeats what Charlie said to Kian, “I just kind of-… felt for you guys? I was-… I was worried about you, and I had-… I had to find you. So I just… sort of focused on that…?”

“That’s, uh-… bitchin’, dude, but I don’t really… know how to do that?” Kian tells him. He doesn’t really understand what Rolan is saying.

Rolan doesn’t even really understand what he’s saying, “Look, just, uh-… think about… think about Becky, and think about how… you want to find her? But don’t-… don’t focus on it with, like, the normal way you think, focus on it, in-… you know, kind of the- the clicks?” Its overall hard to articulate what he’s trying to say. He hopes Kian gets the point.

“Uh….I do…that?” Kian says tentatively, phrasing it as if it is a question rather than something he’s doing.

Charlie smiles, “Alright…. I’m going to roll something for you real quick…” he’s quiet for a moment, “Alright. Kian, you feel… in your mind, a ping. And you now know how to get to Becky. It’s not that far, actually.”

“Kian would- Kian would open her eyes, and he’d look-… he’d look excited. He’d grab-“ Grizz giggles, “He grabs his boyfriends’ hands and starts walking pretty fast to try and get to Becky.”

“I’d kinda stumble a bit, at the sudden movement, but like… I let myself get dragged along,” Rand says, “Woah, slow down, rockstar!” 

Kian blushes, feeling even giddier at the pet name. It feels surreal. It feels surreal that they’re able to have this. Even after lying about themself. After going and getting herself killed. You could say it was stupidity, but he knew. He knew there was a large chance he’d die. She just did it anyway. He’s happy he gets to have this. She just can’t help the part of them that feels like they don’t deserve it.

“Kian.” The keeper says ominously, and it terrifies Kian to no end. Something like that can mean nothing good. “You are running to find Becky. It doesn’t- it doesn’t matter what happened last time, it doesn’t matter that her stinger went down your throat and stole your last breath. You have to find her. You have to find her because you can’t let yourself believe that all she is now is a monster. You know where she is. And for you, even despite the way that you now have Rolan and Rand by your side, even despite the way that you have gained this… you still… need….Becky. Your feet striking against the floor make wet sounds as they collide with the rotting meat that it’s made of. And then you stop. And then she’s there, right in front of you. It almost looks like she was waiting for you. She looks how she did earlier when you saw her, but now there’s more. Her eyes are black in their sockets, and these… mandibles peak out from her mouth.She has more arms than you remember.”

Kian feels as if tears might leak from his eyes. He sniffles, “Be-…Becky?”

“Becky looks back at you with a smile that’s too wide. Her face seems to soften as she sees-…” Charlie pauses, looking at Nate’s face, “As she sees the tears in Kian’s eyes. She spreads her arms wide and invites him to come over to her,” Charlie pauses before speaking as Becky, “Kian! I’ve been- I’ve been looking for you ever since I got in the hive! I was so worried when I heard that you’d died!” Her voice is eerily even. 

“Kian-… Kian lets go of Rolan and Rand’s hands and just- immediately rushes to wrap herself up in Becky. All of his arms are around her and- and their wings would be flapping because he’s-… he’s kind of terrified? He’s hopeful but he’s really, really scared.” 

Charlie nods. “Mhm. Becky hugs you back. Her arms wrap around you, and before-… before we do anything else, Rand, Rolan, are you gonna-… are you gonna do anything?” He asks ominously.

Rand fights the urge to spit on Charlie, even though he knows that’s not physically possible. “Dude, when you say shit like that it makes it sound like some shits about to go down!” He complains.

Charlie laughs through closed lips. “…Are you doing anything?”

Rand glares harder. “No, ‘cause if you make Kian’s girlfriend kill him again I’m gonna kill you.”

Rolan pauses. “…Uh, yeah, I’m with Rand on that one actually,” he says quietly.

“Alrighty then! Kian, after a moment, Becky pulls back away from your hug, and looks at you. It’s like she’s assessing you, taking in your features like you’re prey. She puts- she puts a hand at the side of your face, and then she smiles,” Charlie says, now speaking as Becky, “You look beautiful, Ki. I mean, I knew you would, but- well, it’s really just so lovely to see in person,” 

Kian blinks tears away from his eyes, “You look- you look good too, Beck-… You always look good, but-…” he pauses taking a deep breath in, “…It’s gnarly, dude. I love it so much. I- look!” Grizzly takes his turn to speak, “And Kian kind of- steps away and goes to grab Rolan and Rand’s hands before dragging them up to Becky so she can see them. She makes- she makes a point of holding up their hands,” Nate lets Kian speak, “Look! Becks, I did it, I asked- I asked them out!”

“She sort of-… she sort of laughs fondly. She’s looking at you with this face that it’s just so clear she’s so in love with you, you know?” Charlie provides, “You’re a dork, Kian Stone. Now come on, I have something to show you. All of you, come on!” She says. “And she, uh, she opens a door and steps inside and gestures you all in. Do you follow?”

Rand holds his hand up, “Dude, I’m not making a bad first impression with Kian's girlfriend, I’m doing whatever the fuck she says unless Kian tells me not to,” he says, laugh slipping into his tone at the last second, “I’m just, like-… you know, holdin’ Ki’s hand. If he follows I follow. Like a human chain.”

Rolan makes a noise of uncomfortability, “I mean yeah, but I also feel sort of weird not having been able to get a word out this whole time. Like, just staring blankly at Kian reuniting with his girlfriend,”

“Who killed him,” Rand adds, “Yeah, but, like-… what are you really supposed to say in this-… in this situation. We listen to Ki, man, she’s their girlfriend. I think.” 

I mean, they never technically broke up, Rand supposes.

“Alright, great! She, uh- she leads you in, and it looks, like-… quaint, in a way. There’s, um-… there’s some posters on the wall for bands you’d know, and it’s considerably less… wet in here than in the halls of the sort of hive. Its like the original parts- the original parts of whatever building was… was dug into or ripped apart to build this peak out a bit more. And- Kian, you’d probably know this, actually, it looks like Becky’s bedroom from her parents house. It seems like it was-… like it was sort of ripped out of its spot. The ceiling is different, but it’s almost like the rest of her room was ripped right out. She’s got all the same posters, the layouts the same-… the big difference is that there’s really no-… no furniture. Instead, in the middle, there’s-… it’s sort of like a nest. There’s- there’s piles of pillows and blankets. Kian, you see some of your old clothes that you thought you lost from years ago in there. It takes up, like, most of the room,” Charlie speaks as Becky, “It’s, uh- it’s my room! I know the ones that-… the hive has prebuilt aren’t usually… well, built to anyone’s interests-… and I made mine myself, so I thought maybe we could, uh-…share? Or just, add onto mine, so, uh-… so we could all be close, you know? I know you two don’t know me as well as Kian does, so I don’t want to, like, make you uncomfortable, but I do-… I mean, I do want to be close to her. And I wouldn’t want to take you guys away from him doing that, so, uh, yeah!” Becky finishes speaking. 

“Kian is- Kian is fucking bawling, man. He was so- he was so scared that Becky would-… that she wouldn’t be, uh-… Becky, I guess? That she’d be a monster. He was scared of a lot of things, but her doing this just-… he’s had a lot of feelings building up this entire time and he’s just bawling now,” Grizz laughs. He’s crying too, but that’s just Kian. He sniffles.

“Becky rushes up to him immediately. She grabs him and drags- and drags her over to the nest and just wraps her up in her arms,” Charlie says, “Oh Ki. It’s okay.”

Rand blinks. “I guess I’ll-… I guess I’ll go over there and sit next to them. I’m not, like, doing anything but sitting there because-… I’m kinda still mad at Becky, man. You know, for kinda killing my boyfriend?” He aims to say it with sass, but then he’s blushing and his heart feels like it does a little flip. “Woah, shit. I did not think saying that was gonna make my stomach do that, what the fuck,” he laughs. 

“I’ll-… I’ll go over there, too. I’ll lean into the little hug thing and try to-… pet Kians wings, I think? I don’t- I don’t think Rolan would be trying to, but in his mind he’s not really able to feel that upset about Becky-… turning Kian? He would feel like shit about it if he actively realised that was what he was doing, but like, I dunno-… bug shit messes with your head.”

Charlie nods.

Rand glances at Rolan, “I mean-… I don’t know, man. Why-…” he bites at his lip. “You kind of killed Kian, Becky,” he says. Rolan stares at him like he’s crazy, and that’s a rude thing to say. Rand thinks it was a rude thing to kill Kian, so he’s not sure how much the rudeness scale matters here.

Charlie has to keep himself from laughing, “Shit, uh, okay, yeah, totally fair question to ask,” he says, voice high with amusement. “…I stayed with him. It was-… it wasn’t that bad for him. I stayed with him. I-… I held him. I know it hurt, but I was there. And I did it-… I didn’t attack him, I kissed him, and then-…” Charlie sighs. “She sort of looks away by burying her face in Kian’s hair.” He swallows. “I wanted him by my side. I didn’t even realise he was in town, but when he was, I just-… I wasn’t really meant to be in town, either, I guess. I thought it was-… I thought it was sort of romantic. I mean, Ki always talked about-“ she snorts, looking away, “Ah, that’s for another time, um-… an- anyway, if I hadn’t gotten to him, who do you think would have? Officer Dudes? Someone who would’ve hurt him so much more than-… than I did? He was happy. And now-…now we get to live forever, and be happy. Isn’t that-… I don’t know. Isn’t that nice?” 

Rand's stare is blank. “Dude, I need a fuckin’ smoke,” he says quietly. “Yeah, no that’s-… shit, man. Yeah,” he says lamely. She was inarguably right. “He sort of-… he sort of flops his head against Becky’s shoulder and starts messin’ with Ki’s hair.”

“…I don’t-… I don’t agree with a lot of this stuff, but I want-… I think I kind of want this. Want to just-… want to just be able to spend time with you guys,” he gestures to Kian and Rand, “…for the rest of my life. Forever, or whatever. And if-…” his voice sounds tight, like it’s something he’s struggling to accept, “If this hadn’t happened-… I don’t think I would have been able to do that. so I- I hate it, and it sucks, and I still think we should’ve done the right fucking thing-… I have you guys. So it’ll- it’ll be fine, probably,” he laughs.

Kian blinks back tears. “I love you. All of you, so much,” he sniffles.

“Becky reaches down to wipe-… to wipe the tears from his eyes, and she says….” Charlie speaks as Becky for one last time, “I love you too, Kian.” Charlie smiles, “And that is where we’re going to end… the campaign.”

Rand blinks. “Holy fucking shit dude. That’s crazy. We don’t-… is Rachel okay?”

Charlie sighs happily, “Rachel is great. You’re all great, dude, and you’re in you’re gay little bug polycule and you’re not fucking dead. Don’t ask me any more questions I think my brain is about to explode, man,”

Condi snorts, “That’s very fair, actually. This campaign was awesome, dude, I’m really glad the grenade plan failed.”

Grizzly has a cheeky look on their face. “I hope everyone enjoyed Bizly’s first and only time playing a gay character!”

Charlie giggles, “Yeah, man, he’s never doing this again, cause he’s homophobic! He’s homophobic! Cancel him!”

Bizly sighs as he headbutts his desk. “I fuckin’ hate you guys,” he murmurs.

“Should’ve thought of that before joining the polycule, probably,” Condi pokes.

The other two continue to make fun of him in agreement. Bizly can’t help but wonder how he got here, in a call with three of his best friends, playing Call of Cthulhu, and then somehow ending up in a gay polycule. Fuck if he’s not glad that it ended up that way, though. Even if he won’t admit that to himself.