Chapter Text
under the troubled surface of the sea
just outside the stage there is an impossibly huge crowd cheering. two men stand contemplating everything between then and now; the road to red rocks.
===
It was the 37th straight day Nick had been to this venue. He was going on 53 consecutive days of attending shows night after night after night.
He was on the hunt.
By day Nick Petricca taught piano, and by night, he stalked the small and obscure venues and coffee shops of Cincinnati for starving artists like himself. If he saw anyone who interested him, he’d make a point to meet them after the show. So far he’d found one fourth of the band, Eli, their guitarist, and he was looking for the other two. The other half of Walk the Moon.
It was an open mic night on a Thursday. Nick was exhausted. His throat was sore and everything he owned was beginning to smell like the stale venues he’d been spending every evening in. His back ached like he’d been carrying the weight of his first born child and he wanted to go home. Nick was going to blow his brains out if he heard another 20-something with a beard sing a ballad about a girl he probably didn’t deserve.
Wearily Nick walked over to the counter of the Veloure and looked at the next name scribbled on a clipboard.
Oh my god, no. Nick groaned and looked wearily from the stage to the door. Another 20-something man with a beard and an acoustic guitar stepped on stage. “This song, is called Alice.” He announced with a slight air of pretension.
Nick got up and left.
Shoving through the doors and into the smoggy March night, Nick trudged down the sidewalk towards his apartment. Just before the cross walk was a handsome young man about Nick’s age with wavy brown hair, a nice voice, and an empty guitar case. It was evident by the way the man played that the lack of money in his case was because he’d just set it out and not because he lacked in talent.
As he passed by, Nick fished into his pocket for some spare change, tossing it in the guitar case. Nick didn’t stop to listen, the only thing he cared about was getting home to his bed. But his plans were cut short, as Nick hadn’t gone more than a few paces forward before something in him shivered, telling him to turn around.
In a moment of divine inspiration, the mystery man with a guitar played the most beautiful chord. What he sang next was proof of a higher power if Nick ever heard it.
“Making plans for you, they’re involving me.”
Nick walked back slowly, his mouth slightly ajar. He couldn’t believe the harmonies this one man and a guitar were making. Finally finishing the song, Nick asked his name.
The man took a long swig from his water bottle before answering. “Kevin. Kevin Ray”
“Kevin? What else can you play?”
===
Kevin Ray wasn’t really sure what just happened, but he was excited. He had been randomly approached by a stranger not even 10 minutes into his street routine. Said stranger had introduced himself as Nick. He asked Kevin to sing for him again. And then he asked if he could sing with him. He was very cute, he had pale skin and dark eyelashes, and he loved The Talking Heads.
After their curbside jam session Nick said he wanted him in his band.
He was going to meet him in the park again tomorrow.
===
Their first meeting Kevin’s guitar string broke. It snapped halfway through Nick teaching Kevin the chords of Anna Sun, and it clipped Nick’s lower lip.
Embarrassment began to run in to Kevin’s features, but then Nick laughed, he actually laughed, and then Kevin laughed too. That inopportune laugh was exactly what he had needed.
Kevin bit his bottom lip at the sight of a tiny trickle of blood on Nick’s lower lip. Nick must have noticed his staring because he sucked in his bottom lip and tugged at one of the many rainbow colored bracelets lining his arms, nervously looping it around his index finger.
The next time went better.
===
The clouds were a faucet that some giant left running in the streets of Cincinnati. Nick was on his way home one evening and the sky was crying something fierce. Most everyone was already safe at home and the city looked abandoned in the rain. The worst of the storm was almost here and Nick was thankful to almost be home.
It was when Nick was at a red light that he spotted a single solitary figure standing at the bus stop in the completely pouring rain.
Who would be out in this? He thought to himself. Nick couldn’t believe his eyes. It was Kevin Ray, of all people.
As Nick stared, Kevin squinted from under his sopping wet hoodie. It was evident by the start in his facial expression that he had seen Nick. Kevin silently prayed that Nick would offer him a ride.
The light turned green.
Kevin’s heart dropped as he watched Nick drive away. But then Nick turned around, flipping a U-turn in the middle of the messy Cincinnati streets. Pulling up next to the curb and doing his best not to splash Kevin, Nick leaned over and threw open the passenger door.
Kevin got in without hesitation, in all honestly if the devil himself had thrown open that door, Kevin would have still gotten in just as quick.
“Are you alright?” Nick asked.
“Oh, yeah, just a little wet.” Kevin tried to smile but shivered instead.
Nick nodded skeptically, turning up the heat a bit more as he drove on.
“You could’ve called me for a ride, it’s a mess out there. Do you need a ride?”
Kevin made a sound and Nick wasn’t sure if it was a cough or a laugh. “Actually, I was going to take a bus to Columbus, as crazy as that sounds...”
“Columbus? What’s in Columbus?” Nick asked. It occurred to Nick that he was putting the future of his band in the hands of someone he didn’t know very well.
“Family.” Kevin smiled faintly.
“Ah,” Nick smiled back. “Well, I’d be happy to drive you.” Sure, it was a 2-hour drive, but the way Nick saw it, it would give him a chance to get to know Kevin better. He was sure he could convince him to join the band in those 2 hours.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t--” Kevin began to decline politely.
“I insist.” Nick said firmly. “But before we head out though, we need to get you some dry clothes! Your lips are turning blue.”
“My lips--?” It seemed that Kevin wasn’t being given much choice in the matter, so he resigned himself to whatever Nick had planned and wait. Kevin paused internally. Why was he looking at my lips?
“We’ll just stop at my apartment and I’ll lend you some dry clothes. You are not going to sit in soggy clothes for 2 hours.” Nick continued.
“Sounds great.” Kevin mumbled, turning his head to the window so Nick couldn’t see his cheeks pinking up, focusing intently on the rain drops of his window, which were less like rain drops and more like small waterfalls. Warm clothes sounded great. Nick’s clothes sounded even better.
It wasn’t long before the two arrived outside of Nick’s apartment, a red brick building from the Victorian era. Parking and turning off the car, Nick turned to Kevin with a very serious look.
“On three, we run.” Gripping the door handle, Nick began to count.
“One...two...THREE!!!”
Throwing open the door, Nick ran shrieking from the car, kicking the door shut behind him. Kevin followed behind him, laughing. The two huddled in the doorway as Nick fumbled with the lock. Kevin stood close to Nick, shivering as he waited eagerly. Finally, Nick got the door open and lead Kevin up to his apartment on the third floor.
Upon entering the apartment bathed in warm light, Kevin immediately noticed the faint smell of incense. The walls were decorated by art and posters. Up against one wall was an old upright piano and next to it a keyboard. The only other visible furniture in the front room was a cheap coffee table and a futon.
“Wait here.” Nick said, throwing his keys on the coffee table and disappearing down the hall. Kevin set his bag down next to the futon. Still soaked to the bone he thought it would be better if he didn’t join it.
Minutes later Nick appeared with a handful of neatly folded clothes. “Here,” he said pushing them towards Kevin. “There’s a bathroom down the hall if you wanna take a shower or somethin’. If you want, I can put your wet clothes in the dryer while you shower...” Nick suggested.
Kevin nodded and followed Nick down the hall. Nick opened the door to the bathroom, presenting a suspiciously clean bathroom for a single adult male living alone.
“Ah, I’ll leave my wet clothes on top of the hamper...” Kevin said stepping inside and closing the door. Quickly Kevin undressed, eager to get out of his wet clothes, throwing them unceremoniously in a pile on top of the wicker hamper in Nick’s bathroom. The thunder cracked and rumbled the pane of the bathroom window and Kevin jumped a little.
Once Kevin got the water running in the old tub, he let the warm beads of water wash over him. It was the most heavenly feeling; he could feel the life returning to his flesh.
After a few minutes in the shower, Kevin heard a knock on the door and then Nick’s voice, “Don’t worry, I’m just getting your clothes.”
“Okay! Thank you!” Kevin called from the shower. Kevin peered out from behind the shower curtain watching Nick take his clothes and leave.
Once he was done, Kevin dried off and dressed in the clothes Nick had left. Kevin tried to shake all awkward emotions he was feeling. Nick was doing this as a friend, it’s not weird. Still, he couldn’t ignore the way his heart fluttered when he pulled Nick’s sweater over his head. He tried not to notice that Nick smelled like cinnamon, vanilla, and something else.
Kevin walked back out into the living room just as Nick was returning from the laundry room. He handed Kevin a bag.
“Here these are your clothes. They’re a little drier now. Uh, you can keep mine on for now...” Nick cleared his throat awkwardly. “Shall we go?” he nodded to the doorway, pointing with keys in hand.
By the time they had gotten on the main highway it was beginning to get dark. The rain had let up, but only to give away to a weird sort of slushy precipitation that wasn’t quite rain and wasn’t quite snow.
Kevin settled in for the lengthy drive and took the opportunity to get to know the cute boy who was driving him home...two hours away. It didn’t take many questions to put a quarter in Nick. Pretty soon he was telling him the whole story of the how and the why Walk the Moon. Interlaced with reason were his own memories. Nick’s words painted images in Kevin’s mind that rolled out like sepia toned super 8. Soon the lilt of Nick’s voice and the beat of the rain lulled him to sleep. The last thing he saw was the blurry watercolor shape of the lights on the asphalt.
Kevin was awoken by the sudden jerk of the vehicle and Nick’s distressed stream of expletives. Instinctively Kevin grabbed Nick’s knee, but as soon as he touched it his hand shot away like Nick was on fire.
“What happened?” Kevin asked. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Nick laughed nervously. “Just a slick spot on the road.” Nick’s knuckles turned white as his grip on the wheel tightened. Keen put a tentative hand over Nick’s and smiled softly, “Woah there. We’re fine.”
Nick nodded, visibly relaxing.
2 hours later, Nick pulled into the driveway of Kevin’s family home. The rain had finally subsided to a light trickle.
“Well, here we are...” Nick smiled.
“Yeah. Hey Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. I’m glad I met you,” Kevin began laughing at his own cheesiness. “Or else I would still be out in the rain.” Kevin giggled. Nick couldn’t help but laugh as well, it was pretty cheesy. Soon they were laughing uncontrollable at each other and nothing. When their last laughs turned to sighs, Kevin looked longingly at Nick. Nick stared back. Kevin focused on the sound of the rain and Nick’s breathing as he leaned in. Nick’s eye’s fluttered.
“Kevin? Is that you?” A man’s voice called out from the porch. Kevin hadn’t even noticed the porch light flick on. He felt the embarrassment bubble up in in his stomach. His cheeks were hot and his arms were numb. He prayed that whatever gods were conspiring against him would conspire again and let him disappear forever.
“That’s my dad.” Kevin sighed. “I better go. I don’t wanna keep my family waiting any longer,” he lied. His family could wait if it meant he could kiss Nick.
“No problem,” Nick replied. “I should probably get heading back anyway.” He smiled at Kevin. “Hug?”
Kevin obliged happily. Nick made him feel like he was 17 years old again.
===
In the last year or so Kevin had gotten used to leaving. But this leaving felt different. It tugged a little harder on his ribs. It felt like he actually had something to leave behind this time around.
Nick had given him a ride to the airport. At the airport gates, he had made a proposal.
“I know this is probably not the best opportunity I could have chosen to ask you this,” Nick rambled, “But I’ve been thinking, and I really want to make you a full time member in Walk the Moon. You would be such a great asset…Just say the word.”
Over the intercom a man announced the boarding for Kevin’s flight. Nick sighed.
“I gotta go...” Kevin sighed as well. “But I’ll think about it?”
Nick nodded, slightly somber.
“Bye-bye,” Kevin waved over his shoulder, when he smiled he bit his lip.
Kevin had been on the road with 311 for only a few weeks when he got a postcard from Ohio. In messy handwriting it read:
“Good luck on tour! Have fun, but not too much fun ;) ...Miss you like hell. - Nick P.”
That first postcard was the first in a long series, each causing Kevin individual heart spasms and uncontrollable smiles. It began to seem like every city had a postcard or a letter waiting for him, every week. He would have never guessed that behind Nick’s smooth handwriting he was just as nervous.
Nick knew the moment he saw him, he wanted Kevin in his band. But he didn’t realize until Kevin had left for tour, that he wanted him.
Nick’s faithful writing, however, did reap some incredible results.
It was nearing the end of the tour. Kevin hadn’t said much almost the entirety of his absence, he needed
some time to think, and consider his options.
But one night, Kevin called him.
And damn the time zones, Nick answered. Nick uttered a groggy hello into the receiver, almost rolling off the bed.
“Yes.”
“What?” Nick asked, “No, you’re a bit confused, I say hello, and then you say hello back. What time is it there anyway—?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m saying yes.” Nick wasn’t yet awake enough to know what he was saying yes to or to remember what he had asked him to facilitate this reply. But he was able to detect something in Kevin’s voice, a mix of glee and anxiety. “I thought about your offer. We’re driving away from Red Rocks, headed for Salt Lake City, and I was thinking about you and your offer, and I thought I might take a chance on Walk the Moon.” And you, Kevin added silently. Kevin spoke at a rapid pace, “The atmosphere at Red Rocks, is something I want to experience again and again, and, I think you could get me there. I think it’s you.”
Nick couldn’t discern whether it was his current state of half-awake or his sheer and utter joy and surprise, but Nick was literally speechless. Finally, he started laughing. Then Kevin started laughing too.
“Are you sure, Kevin? I mean are you serious about this?” Nick asked.
“I get back in a week from Friday. I can start practice on Monday.” Kevin replied.
Nick laughed.
“You wouldn’t happen to know a good drummer, would you?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do, as a matter of fact.”
Nick hung up the phone close to 3 in the morning. It felt like his heart was swimming in his chest. The flips and flops of his heart kept him awake all night, a giddy grin on his face.